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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm 

10th January 2014:
Here for you second review!

I really loved how the Marauders burst onto the scene, it was so like them with all the dramatics and everything and you wrote them really well too! I really liked the intro to Peter and I hope he and Coralie can be friends because I always feel sorry for him getting forgotten and all. James was perfect too, and I love how you reflected his age by how welcoming he was.

I really liked the flashback as it meant we got to know a lot more about Coralie and her background and itís making me wonder how exactly was that guy connected to Coralie and what he did to cause the panic attacks, so it was great to see all of the suspense put in there!

The heart-to-heart with Lily was really sweet and it was so nice to see that they had begun to bond with one another and that they could lean on one another. Iím intrigued by Lilyís background with her mother having panic attacks, and then the tensions between her and her friend. I thought Coralie was going to end up with Sirius but I suppose I was wrong or supposing too soon :P

Wah Remus was a babe with the way he introduced to Cora (itís quicker to type :P) and he was so lovely talking about the history and yeah I just want to marry him because heís so nice and you can ignore this because Iím prone to fangirling around him. Sirius though. Well, what to say about him? I wanted to hit him quite frankly because he was so rude and horrible but then I loved this meaner take on him and I canít wait to see whether he turns into a nicer person or not.

This was a great chapter and I canít wait to read more!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Welcome back!

In a lot of stories I've read, the Marauders just get described or they meet on the train or whatever. I wanted to mix it up a little. I was never a big fan of Peter, but I really want to give him a chance to show how good he can be. I'm a firm believer in the fact that James wasn't always a bully. I've always sort of seen him as a big brother figure. I'm glad you liked him.

I really wanted to build up the suspense and mystery when it comes to the guy. Obviously, as the story develops there are more and more hints dropped about him and about what happened.

I love Lily. I especially love writing the friendship between Cora and Lily. They are definitely one of my favourite parts of the story to write. Ah yes, you'll have to wait and see with that!

You're more than welcome to call her Cora. I do it myself and I always have to remember to type Coralie in the story itself. Remus is beautiful! If I wasn't a Ronks supporter, I'd probably make it a more Cora/Remus story. He will have a bit of romance with someone else though! Spoiler alert- Sirius will become a nicer person. There is definitely a reason as to why he's acting like this though!

Thank you so much for these reviews. I love them!

x Ely


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Review #2, by MadiMalfoy 

5th September 2013:
Hi again! I'm so sorry for my tardiness on this, I just couldn't find enough time to read and write a detailed enough review until now!

Coralie! Wonderful wonderful Coralie! You've developed her character even more in this chapter, and given us a little bit of backstory with the flashback dream sequence. It's vague enough we aren't able to figure out exactly what happened to her, but we can make educated guesses, which is perfect! You leave us wanting more of her story and why she has the panic attacks and what happened that causes all of them.

And the Marauders! I love Lily--I wish I had a friend just like her! When you gave each of the minor characters little descriptions, it gave them more depth rather than just stating their names, etc. I'm curious to see the reasoning behind Sirius's characterization in future chapters. It does seem very suspect and if the rest of the boys don't know what's got his knickers in a twist, well, then who does! I love how you had James pull Coralie right under his wing, take her in, introduce her to the craziness and good times that were a part of being a sixth year Gryffindor. Superb!

Overall, I think that the plot is flowing very well and I'm very excited to see how this continues and what you choose to reveal to us bit by bit. :) Please, re-request for future chapters or other stories if you so please! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: That's perfectly fine! I understand how crazy life can get all of a sudden.

I'm so glad you like Coralie- she's actually one of my biggest worries when it comes to writing this. I get worried that maybe her story isn't interesting to anyone but me.

I love Lily too. She's actually my favourite person to write at the moment because she's based on one of my best friends ever. I am working on developing each of the minor characters- they'll take time, obviously but I hope that it will give them even more depth. There is a very good reason for the way Sirius is acting. I see James as a 'big brother'- I think that's the sort of thing he would do.

I'm so glad that you think it's going well and that you are enjoying everything. I'll definitely be re-requesting as soon as I possibly can!

Thank you so much for your lovely review!!

x Ely


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Review #3, by Lady of Tears 

11th August 2013:
I really love your characterization, especially of the OCs. Normally I find the OCs in this time period to be very annoying and flat, but I think you've done a great job.

I'm really liking the way you're writing the Marauders, and I'm really intrigued by Sirius. I honestly don't mind the way he's acting. It's refreshing to see him do something other than flirt with girls. It makes me want to know more because I can see him being this moody if he's truly upset about something.

I think your Lily got better as the chapter went on. At first, I felt like things were a little off, to be honest, and Lily spilled the beans too quickly; I always thought of her as a very composed, more private individual. But everything clicked by the time I got to the next narrative section, and I'm starting to like this take on her.

Keep up the good work!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: A lot of them are based on my own friends so I really try to keep them interesting but still believable.

Sirius does become slightly more flirty in future chapters, but I personally believe that there is much more to his personality than just that so I'm glad that you like him this way.

I see her as quite private too, but I wanted to write her this way for future events otherwise it messes up where I'm going with her storyline and how she fits into Coralie's.

Thank you so much for your review. They honestly make me so happy!!

x Ely


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