Reading Reviews for Bad Blood, Chapter 5: Five
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SaraT 

30th December 2015:
Excuse me.
I'm new to the world of fan fiction, so I'm not entirely sure how this works, and what I can ask or criticize. Can you explain to me how you can kill the mother of the hero of the whole entire series, before he is even born? How could anything exist if Lily died while still at Hogwarts?
I'm just asking.

Author's Response: Hi! What I wrote is something called alternate universe, or AU, fiction. Basically that means that this story is not related to the timeline of the original series at all. Stories that stick to the original timelines, story lines, and characters are called canon stories. So you're right -- Harry doesn't exist in the story line I've created. I've merely used the characters and settings of the series, but not the plot. Does that make sense?

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this! Thanks for leaving a review.

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Review #2, by beyourbest 

24th November 2014:
Excellent story! A fascinating and suspenseful story in its own right, this is also an excellent murder mystery. Perhaps you should right an epilogue explaining what happened to James (he was brave, protective, loyal, and totally in character in this story, which I liked a lot) and the wizarding world as a whole.

Author's Response: That's not a bad idea! I've been thinking a lot about this story lately -- I'm writing a cozy murder mystery for a college course, and I'm doing planning work for a young adult murder mystery as well. I'd be interested in revisiting the James in this story, for sure. I love writing the Marauders, felt like I got to know them well in the trilogy I wrote, and this caused me to explore his character even further.

Thank you for taking the time to review, too! ♥ I'm really glad you liked the mystery, too. That means a lot in my current writing phase. Hope to hear from you again!

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Review #3, by RoseOwl 

16th March 2014:
You have written another fantastic story. Be proud.

I was seriously shocked by Lily's death. I fully expected that James would save her in the nick-of-time as has happened in every fix that I have read. Wonderful twist there.

I liked that Snape was the murderer and I liked his motive ("if he couldn't have her than no one should") but I wish that you would have elaborated more about what actually drove him off the deep end (am I using the metaphor right?) because it seemed a bit sudden. Why did he choose that specific day or week or whatever to kill her. What changed, what suddenly gave him the idea?

About the ending, and here I blabber more than usual so be free to toss it out, when Snape is being taken away to trial or to Azkaban or wherever, I would have totally have him be freed by Voldemort and let him grow to be one of his most loyal, psychopathic right hand, crazier than Bella herself.

Overall, this story was pure joy. Sorry for rambling on though, and for my English too, it isn't my first language. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment! I actually sort of like writing the worst possible scenario, if that makes sense -- I prefer realism over the happily-ever-after ending. I do think more elaboration could have been included, but at the same time, I wanted it to be a mystery story, not a story about Snape's mental illness. That's a good idea for a one-shot or two, though!

Your English is very good! I'm impressed. :) Thank you for taking the time to review!

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Review #4, by CassiePotter 

22nd February 2014:
I can't believe it was Snape! Even though he said the same thing he wrote in the letter, I honestly was expecting anther curveball so it wasn't him!
This chapter was really interesting to read! I loved the way you wrote Snape, and definitely agree that there's mental illness there. I really liked that you gave his character that aspect, because it made him really fascinating to read after knowing that he committed two murders in cold blood.
This story was awesome, and I hope you write another one with the same kind of suspense that this one had! It was great to get back into your work again! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: It was Snape! I'm glad you enjoyed it, even though it's clearly not the way I usually write Snape. Mental illness and Snape are actually two of my favorite topics, so there you go.

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, Cassie! Sorry that it took me so long to respond to your review, but rest assured that I appreciated it all the same. Great to read a review of yours again! ♥ Thanks for it -- you're the best!

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Review #5, by Courtney Dark 

13th November 2013:

Okay, that definitely makes sense and I really, really love how creepy and villainous you've made him in this final chapter, like he doesn't even care that he's been caught, all he feels his triumph. I was actually, for some reason, reminded of Norman Bates at the end of Psycho. AND OH MY GOD I LOVE BASTILLE. Just saying. Because I'm normal like that.

Poor James. Oh my god, I felt so sorry for him at the funeral, I wanted to rip my hair out! Well, not really, but you get the idea!

Before I completely embarrass myself with my weirdness, I'll finish this review by saying this was such an amazing, exciting story, I really enjoyed reading it!


Author's Response: It was Snape! It's weird for me to make him villainous, but I love his entire character, and he definitely has that side, so it was interesting to flip-flop from Snape/OC mode and write his dark bits.

I'm super happy you enjoyed this story! Thank you for reviewing its chapters, and sorry I'm so dreadfully late with responding!

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Review #6, by Gosia 

22nd August 2013:
I knew it was Snape! "Worthless witch"... Mind your tongue, Sev!

Great plot, really enjoyed reading. And your Marauders were as brilliant as always!
That Rosier+Wilkes thing... Nice twist :D

Isn't it a little unfair that all your stories are so awesome?

Author's Response: Mind your tongue indeed! It was sort of sad for me to make Snape the culprit of this entire story -- but that's how it was always intended, even before I sat down to write it, when it was just a baby idea. As much as I love him, it wasn't too hard for me to make him lose his mind.

MARAUDERS. I'm in such a Marauders rut, but I just can't help myself. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this, and thank you for taking the time to review, too! You really are one of my best readers and it truly does mean so much.

(I shan't respond to your last sentence. ♥)

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Review #7, by The spider in your vacuum hose. 

17th July 2013:

And I knew it because I guessed absolutely everyone so that I could be sure that at least one of them was the culprit. Seriously, self, how could you not have guessed him from the start?! THIS IS RACHEL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. Of course you couldn't resist lifting the mask and revealing it to be Snape. He is basically your signature character. You and Snape are synonymous. Someone with that darkness, that elegance, the sinister sophistication and purposefulness and arrogance from the very beginning who wrote that letter - I could just slap myself. That scene has 'billowing black robes' written all over it. IT WAS STARING ME IN THE FACE THIS WHOLE TIME AND I WAS IN DENIAL. I refused to believe you would make him the killer purely because I'm used to seeing him through the rosy glow of Beth Bridger. DARN YOU, BETH BRIDGER. YOUR LOVE FOR THIS CHARACTER TOTALLY AFFECTED MY PERCEPTIONS.

I am very satisfied about it being Snape, especially since you went out of your comfort zone a little and depicted him as an absolute psychopath. He has no conscience, and he's so mechanical, with no remorse or regret or anything - and after it all, he's still arrogant about it. Sitting there in that cell with a smirk on his face, congratulating himself. He doesn't care that the rest of his life is down the toilet. He just likes knowing there will undoubtedly be credit given to him from behind closed doors. He doesn't even need to be there to enjoy that credit. Just the assumed recognition is enough for him, and there is such emptiness and evilness in that that it gives me chills. I will never stop saying this, but no one writes the crazies like you write the crazies. ♥ Please keep writing crazies. P.S. I know it's bothered you a bit before that you're so good at writing these sort of characters, so keep in mind something I heard Rob Thomas, a singer for Matchbox Twenty, say: Someone asked him why everything he writes is so damn sad, and he responded that writing depressing songs is what purges all of that out of him so that he can be happy in all the other areas of his life.

It's not just an outlet for the writers, but for the readers, and all around pretty damn good entertainment. ♥

I am going to miss bugging you about this. You must write another mystery so that I can bother you to pieces about what is going on. One of the best things about this story is that your talent made the playing field for 'who is the murderer?' incredibly, incredibly broad. It was anyone's game. Guessing was very enjoyable.

I am still suspicious of everyone.

Author's Response: THAT IS WHY I SAID YOU HAD THE BEST CHANCE OF GUESSING. Between the fact that it was Snape and mental instability, I was sure you'd guess from day one! And that beginning section, with the elegance and the darkness... I am just laughing my butt off, all over again. I love you so much for all your theories. ♥ This is Snape in a world without Beth Bridger, my friends. It is a gloomy place, and that is why they should be together forever and ever.

I've always said that, for all the love I bear Snape (and that is quite a lot), I am not blind to his shortcomings. He was a pretty awful person in school, and even out of it, through all his double-crossing bravery... he kind of sucked. It's important to weigh both sides when you're examining him. And at the end of this story, he has certifiably cracked, no doubt about it. He absolutely does not feel guilt for what he's done, because he's so far into the mindset that he's working for a good and noble cause -- two good and noble causes, being both revenge and the furthering of the blood purity cause. What's the rest of his life, when he's already accomplished that? To him, the fact that he's essentially dead now is akin to him dying in wartime. He's fully convinced he'll go out looking like the hero.

That quote. ♥ I'll have you know I've come back and looked at this review probably fifteen times since you left it, just for that quote. You know why, and we'll leave it at that, but I am forever in your debt for that.

I definitely want to do another mystery! Please don't let me do it. Or do. I can't decide. I have lots of feels now. THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME AND READING /EVERYTHING/. I am still in awe that you do.

~suspicious 5ever~

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Review #8, by ValWitch21 

17th July 2013:
*insert jaw dropping, swearing in French, and a scream so loud you can probably hear it where you are*

This is one of the many reasons I love your writing: though I've read the story before, I'm still shocked every time, as if you might've edited while I was away.

That beginning scene made me (almost) cry. Like I said, I've had too many Marauder feels these days, so James without Lily breaks my heart.

Then there's the insight into Snape's head and I am at loss for words. I'm really disturbed by the way he sees Muggleborns and Lily in particular, especially if you draw the parallel between this and canon. A while ago I read Athene Goodstrength's Creep (go and read it if you haven't) and this leaves me just as uneasy as that one.

On a side note though, the itching has stopped. I suppose that's a redeeming factor.

Author's Response: *the sound of a distant Val-scream floats through the window* ♥

I definitely did not edit this story in your absence -- mostly because I'm the absolute laziest person in the world about editing -- but I am absolutely flattered that you can be shocked by my stories even on re-reading them. With an ending like this one, that's definitely part of what I'm striving for. I'm grinning like an idiot right now! It's just very surreal, having these hopes for your stories, and sitting back and watching people essentially tell you EXACTLY what you'd hoped. If that makes any sense at all.

Man, if you ever need to talk to someone about Marauders feels, hit me up, because I am WAY too inundated with them on a daily basis.

Snape's bit of the story, the only bit he gets by name (though he gets the start of chapter 1 too) -- it disturbs ME. One of the things I love writing most is mental illness, and sometimes that's alarming, but I don't know where I'm going with that. It's definitely supposed to make you unsettled, I will say that. He makes essentially no sense; he's not supposed to. (I have read Athene Goodstrength's story, by the way!)

You are fab. ♥ I have nothing else to say about that except THANK YOU FOR THESE REVIEWS. And all your reviews. And just being you.

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Review #9, by soufflegirl99 

17th July 2013:
Each new chapter of this never ceases to amaze me, and this story is just so riveting and original!! I had my suspicions about Snape, though I didn't think it would be him in the end. The way it all ties up perfectly though, like Rowling's writing herself!

The last paragraph is quite biting, and the whole chapter had me on edge. The tension is built really well throughout this chapter, and I found James' reaction so moving. The description of how his fingers are taunt, and the way he's speechless, is even worse than if he said anything, and that really helped me empathise with him. It was so touching!

The way Snape rejoices in his 'success' is written brilliantly - it's quite sickening the way he says "what luck!" and is pleased with himself for killing! I liked the way to just really illustrate how sick minded and disgusting Snape is, he liked the way a boy the same age as him was genuinely terrified of him. That struck me quite hard, just like the last few lines of the story.

I can't believe you let Snape (kind of) get away with it, and leave James in such a desperate place! Snape kind of won really, and the way you describe that accomplishment drives the punching resolution in to your head.

Thank you so much for such a fantastic and gripping story - the diverse ways in which you portray Snape is truly fascinating!

Sophie :D

Author's Response: Sophie! Gah, I'm so happy you enjoyed this story! AU is such fun; I can't believe I've explored it so little. Writing canon is like a puzzle, and writing AU while attempting to keep the characters and settings canon is even more so. As a logically-motivated thinker who happens to adore puzzles, it's a field day! I am unbelievably flattered you compared this to Rowling's writing; I can't tell you how motivating and inspiring that is. ♥

I think it's difficult, as the author and as someone who knew what was going to happen from start to finish, to gauge things like tension and suspense -- and I'm so grateful to reviewers like you who make me think I got it right. :) Snape's definitely certifiably crazy, and peeking into his head is supposed to be a bit nonsensical and jumbled and, yes, sickening. I adore his character, something I'm sure you know, but I love him because of his complexities and the immense shades of gray in his person. He is capable of truly awful things, but also truly heroic things. Here... he went with the former.

Snape COMPLETELY won, which is so sad for James and Lily and basically everyone. He doesn't care about death; he's probably looking forward to it, morbid as it sounds. He killed Lily, and what else is left to him?

Thank YOU for such a lovely and wonderful review! ♥ I enjoyed hearing from you so much, and am totally floored you enjoyed "Bad Blood." You're amazing!

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Review #10, by academica 

16th July 2013:
Wow. We all over-thought it completely. RACHEL!

I cannot believe I missed "worthless witch."

You may be expecting me to dash off and stick my fingers in my ears and guard my little shipper heart, but you know what? I liked your ending. I actually had a slightly different interpretation of Snape's actions, which is that he ripped her out of his life so that she wouldn't be there to torture him anymore. I think it would have bothered him forever even if she didn't end up with James or with anyone and had just gone on to live her life. It was just a methodical, effective way of removing an obstacle in his path to attaining his own success. I think he certainly would see this as a way of killing two birds with one stone because it would also get Voldemort's attention. I also think that it's perfectly in character for Snape to taunt Lupin and company by dropping hints like that. Now, I won't deny that this course of action makes me sad, but you probably intended that in some capacity :) I do have to wonder if Lily figured out who her killer would be before she died. That's probably the saddest thought of all for me.

But yeah, this was a great ending. I liked your portrayal of James in the beginning; he seemed truly broken up about Lily and that touched my heart. (Wow, this story has stretched my boundaries! Hey, it's a healthy thing to do from time to time.) And I feel bad for Remus and the others, having to clean up the mess that is James and try to help him push on past this awful tragedy. I really wanted him to be wrong about Severus, but like you said, the general sentiment about Snape being a bad person isn't totally false.

I noticed one little typo -- "taught" as used in the context you chose should actually be spelled "taut."

Fantastic work, Rachel! I couldn't wait to finish this story and I'm happy for you to have completed it :)

♥ Amanda

P.S. Please tell me that "Lily's Theme" also makes you cry every time you hear it. EVERY TIME FOR ME.

Author's Response: Everyone was overthinking it, yes! :D That "worthless witch" comment was something I thought would be painfully obvious, and so it was kind of neat that I got to keep everyone guessing right up until the end.

I love Snape, and I don't think canonically he was capable of murder like this; he was too rational and logical and detached. But twisting him slightly AU was a great exercise, especially after finishing the Sneth books, because it's just more of my perpetual research into his incredibly complex and fascinating character. Written this way, he couldn't have resisted, because it WAS like killing two birds with one stone like you said.

In my personal headcanon, I think Lily would have trusted Snape right up until her death -- she had a good heart, and would never have suspected he had the motivation to murder her. That's so sad, but in this story, it's true. :(

JAMES. I felt so bad for him in this story... he really became my favorite Marauder after Sneth, and I'm glad I could push you onto his side too, however briefly! Thanks for catching that typo, too; I do know the difference between "taught" and "taut," but I wrote chapters 4 and 5 in one sitting, and I'm sure my brain was just oatmeal by that point. ♥

Thank you for reading this story, Amanda! It's been so lovely seeing you on my author's page again. :) I'm so grateful for it, honestly!

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Review #11, by patronus_charm 

16th July 2013:
:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O Ė how I feel right now! I know I should be reviewing BE but I couldnít resist sneaking over here before for the last chapter :P

The funeral ♥ Man that was so tragic! The language was so simple there and it really fitted with austere feel of the place. It was just so horrible with the first line and knowing that the killer/Snape (well I didnít know then) was still out there. I read your response before reading the chapter and I almost thought it was James with your hint about the AU but he seemed to grieve too much there for it to be possible.

Poor George ♥ He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Man, Snape is insanely deluded here, not just a little mental here. I guess with the way he obsessed over Lily in the books it is possible for him to be like that and it might not just be Au :p The idea of George just being a scare tactic is so psychotic and just gahaha canít think really. All I can say is poor George ♥

The idea of him killing Lily really makes sense with the whole how deluded his mind is he could slip into that so easily. Iím so annoyed I missed that line from Snape though! I donít really see how I can as I read that section so many times finally pinning it down on poor old Slughorn and Peter and for it to be Snape. Iím going to have a magnifier every time I read a chapter of yours to be sure not to miss anything.

The last few sentences really do prove he is a psychopath Ė no arguments! The way he didnít have a conscious and did it just for the fun was truly terrifying. I really liked seeing it from his perspective of being in prison though as it was really interesting and made a change from how we had seen it so far.

Woo and that insane authorís note! I really loved how you provided extra info for us as it was interesting to read! I really, really loved this short story and I canít wait to see what you come up with next!


Author's Response: It's taken me a while to respond to this -- I got swarmed with HC reviews -- but I'm so happy you dropped by to see how everything ended up! James sort of broke my heart at Lily's funeral, and I went back and skimmed the chapter after reading your review. I think a lot of the emotion translates subconsciously into the language, and James was basically a robot, so it came out pretty simple. I actually really liked how that worked out!

I did intend to make you think it was James, but yes, it was Snape in the end. :) George was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time, a casualty of Snape's weird, twisted plan for a wrong he felt Lily had done him. His motives were largely driven by insanity and delusion... which should surprise no one who knows me and knows my affinity for writing crazies. (I've just realized that, counting this story, that makes 5 on my page where people go nuts. Oops.)

He's so nuts in those last few sentences! That whole section of his rambles and twists and is generally nonsensical, and my brain was rebelling the whole time I was writing it, but it's sort of supposed to be hard to follow. And I'm glad you enjoyed the author's note that came after, because I felt that, after sticking around in the mind of a crazy man, a bit more mystery explanation was necessary!

I'm so happy you enjoyed this -- truly. ♥ Writing my first-ever full-out mystery story was such a blast, and I hope to do it again in the very near future! Your reviews made the entire process awesome!

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Review #12, by The Misfit 

16th July 2013:

So it /was/ Snape! I /knew/ there was something fishy about what he said to Remus, but I think my brain was too canon to compute that Snape would be the one to kill Lily! *cries* I thought he was involved with Wilkes and whoever that other Slytherin was (Rosier?) but I didn't think he would be /the one/.

Ugh. You hurt my poor feels. :(

Tbh, I didn't even think that was possible after you killed off Lily, but you've managed to. Congratulations :P And you know, despite the fact that Severus was actually one of my theories, you were just so clever in your writing and so skilled that even though I was right, you made me second-guess myself.

The fact that you're planning on writing another mystery both excites and terrifies me. I'm excited because your writing is always superb, but even more so in mystery for the reasons stated above, and terrified because you are /too/ good. Do you eat feels for breakfast or something? :P

Don't ever stop writing, because your work is too fabulous. Thank you so much for writing such an amazing story, and convincing me that AU isn't /that/ bad. :P ♥

*goes off to cry in the corner because poor, poor Severus* (I know he's not quite all there mentally, but I still want to reach into the archives and give him a hug :3)

Love, cookies and cupcakes for wonderful Rachel ♥

Author's Response: It was Snape! Even through the Sneth series and all I've written about him... I couldn't resist making him the bad guy here. When I wrote the "worthless witch" line, I was so sure I was being beyond obvious, so it was fun getting to dangle the culprit's identity over everyone's heads for just a bit longer than that!

I did try and trip people up, of course, with the Wilkes/Rosier red herring (and the fact that I was basically being nonsensical in my review responses just for the sole reason that I could). I would definitely love to try and write another mystery! I have vague ideas for a Harry/OC murder mystery that would extend into something longer -- possibly even a novel -- but I haven't decided if I'll write it yet. Come to think of it, I have virtually NO plans for any long-term HPFF at the moment. How sad is that?

Of course I eat feels for breakfast! And sometimes for lunch. And as snacks throughout the day. :) I will seriously go out of my way to watch or listen to anything that makes me sad or scared, so there you have it. True story.

I promise to never stop writing. ♥ I don't know what I'd do without writing, anyway -- how did I ever survive before I started writing essentially full-time? I'll convert you to love AU fic, Katie, I swear I will! Thank you for reviewing and keeping up with this story, and being such an awesome friend in general. I hope to hear more from you very soon!

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