16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

24th April 2017:
Slight typo "so she was certain he opinion wasnít warranted."

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Review #2, by Sushmita 

24th April 2017:
What an exciting chapter! I was totally hooked.

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Review #3, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

27th January 2015:
The redhead again found the eyes of the stagís creator; a nearly tangible heat smoldered between them.

The Great Hall was silent as the animals chased the darkness into the sky.

^ Talk about sexual tension.

I mean...come on.

That was epic but I think I've been saying that a lot lately as we reach the end. I thought you handled the testing with great care and I applaud you for actually making it interesting. I'm sorry but I feel like I've read countless of these scenes in other fics and they bore me because they're all the same.

But yours, yours was very different. I also really liked the little nod towards Severus. Lily thinking about him and their friendship and including him in bits here and there in the chapter. It was almost a little pang in my heart, a fleeting feeling for their friendship that should have been and could have been once more.

The Dementor section was what made this chapter FANTASTIC. The description and the fluidity of the temperature and then James and Lily fighting it off at the end together but unknown until they locked eyes, experiencing this magical moment.

Grr...that ending though. He's tracking her? That can't be good. That can't be good at all. Jamie, if you hurt Belle in any way I will cry.

If you kill her I will cry big ugly tears because it will be devastating, heart breaking and painful. I'm too attached. Don't hurt my characters. Any of them. Let's just make this an alternative universe fan fiction and let them all live long and happy lives.




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Review #4, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi again, Jami!

Oh wow, what a chapter. This was so dramatic and I wasn't expecting the year to end this way for them at all - I just didn't expect there to be something like a Death Eater attack while they were doing their final exams at Hogwarts. But I suppose that it's all another reminder of how much of an effect the war has on the world and even those inside the walls of Hogwarts aren't always safe.

I liked the touch of Lily still saying good luck to Snape before they went into the exams, though. And then when they got in there I thought that the examiner was acting strangely, but I hadn't expected that there'd be an attempted attack on them in the school! I'm so glad they were able to avert it, and how cute the result was! Lily has shown James that her Patronus is the partner to his and they belong together!

Oh no, that final part of the chapter was absolutely terrifying. This was part of the test that Bellatrix had set for the new recruits, right? What's going to happen to Belle? I'm so worried now!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #5, by MissMdsty 

21st July 2013:
That is ... oh my God! I have no words! I knew Bellatrix would do something horrible, but this was beyond my wildest dreams! I mean, c'mon, if you're gonna try and kill somebody, do the honorable thing and kill them to their face!

I had a suspicion about the examiner from the start, but I'm paranoid these days so I just shook it off as a feeling! But that was the most frightening thing I've read so far in your story! It never actually occurred to me until now that James and Lily hadn't exchanged Patronuses so to say, or that Lily still has no ideea about Prongs.

I was happy the potion worked though. Remus deserves a break from all that! I can keep ranting about how much this chapter terrified me, but I have a feeling what's going to follow is going to need lots of chocolate, so I'm going to read on!

Author's Response: Bellatrix is terrible and if you want to go after her, you have my blessing!

I'm so excited you had a bit of odd feelings about the examiner, even if it was just your paranoia. At least it paid off, right? ;)

Remus does deserve a break! And you were right, you needed chocolate and I am a mean for for making you need chocolate in the next chapter :(!

I think we need to all get on a private jet and fly to somewhere warm and happy, yeah?

Thank you so much my lovely Ral for all your amazing feedback!

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Review #6, by CambAngst 

19th July 2013:
Jami, I'm taking a deep breath and counting to ten... Nope, didn't work, I'm still annoyed. What, exactly is Bellatrix's little dungeon muppet doing around Belle? I do not approve. Not in the slightest. I think we need to have a talk.

You did an awesome job of setting the scene for the N.E.W.T. exams. I could visualize every last thing about the Great Hall and the examination room. You could have cut the tension with a knife, and it seemed to flow off of the screen at me. These poor kids! Now we know what they mean by nastily exhausting.

Ooh! You've put Snape and Lily in the same exam room. How deliciously tense. Just when you thought the whole experience couldn't be any more difficult for Lily, life jabs her right in the "he used to be my best friend" feels.

She wasn't naive enough to think Abigail losing her prefect badge had shut her up for good, but what else could it be? -- Ugh. I almost don't want to know.

I love the little tension-breaking conversation between Lily and Belle inside the enclosure. The tension in this scene is so thick, I think the two of them really needed something like that to loosen up and get back in the correct frame of mind for the test. It also helps to break up the tension just a bit for the reader, which I appreciated.

This time when Madam Penrose's eyes fell on Lily -- their shade a brown so dark that it slipped closer to the color of a midnight sky -- the annoyance was gone. -- Ooh! Foreboding...

Lily's fight with the Inferius was another one of those awesome little moments you excel at that I always love. The precision with which she uses fire as a defense, the carefully selected parameters... it was just awesome!

You did an awesome job writing Lily's encounter with the Dementor. It was paced really well, starting with the change in temperature, then the darkness and finally the psychological effects. You took all the things we knew about exposure to the Dementors from the books and really expanded on that, adding detail and new layers of subtlety to the experience. It was a really lovely piece of writing, even if the subject matter was less than savory.

The scene with Lily and James's patronuses (patroni?) was awesome and beautiful and very touching. Talk about a sure sign that two people are made to be together.

She'd been careful after fifth year never to cast the Patronus Charm around him, not wanting him to annoy her even more with his jokes about the two of them belonging together.

Maybe they hadn't been jokes after all.
-- About time she was figuring that out, huh?

I'm still a bit uncertain as to the role of the examiner with the pipe and Severus in all of this. The guy with the pipe seems to be glued to Severus. Since we know that Bellatrix assigned Mulciber and Avery to get to Belle, it makes me wonder whether the Dementor was part of Lucius's trials for Snape and Rosier. Perhaps the burly wizard with the pipe wasn't actually burly after all. Perhaps he was simply in disguise. Hmmnnn...

Of course McGonagall doesn't get a thing from questioning Snape. I'm impressed with how focused and unemotional you've been able to make him.

And of course Madam Penrose is gone. If she wasn't the real Madam Penrose, I assume that the original will turn up dead somewhere, if she's ever heard from again.

I liked that you tempered James's anger toward Snape just a tiny bit, enough for him to question whether he's specifically mad at Snape or he's just mad and Snape is a convenient target. You can almost feel the guy growing up as the story moves along. He's older, wiser and he's made it through some pretty awful things at this point. He's starting to feel a lot more like the James who dies in Godric's Hollow than the James who hangs Snape upside down in front of the entire school. At least until Sirius comes along and pokes him.

"Besides, who else is going to put zese idiots back together each time zey hurt zemselves?" -- Well that's a good point.

If he was being perfectly honest with himself, it had gotten harder and harder to not confess the truth about their Animagus sides. -- This is definitely a moment I'm looking forward to. I'm still not sure how Lily's going to take it, and I'm very curious to see.

Augh! What is going on with Belle??? I am not cool with this, Jami! I think somebody needs to curse Mulciber so badly that he oozes more than walks for the rest of his life. Nice little nod to the books with the Imperius Curse, though. That was supposed to be one of his specialties.

Gah! I do not know where we're heading next, but things definitely took a rough turn in this chapter. I guess I'll find out later! ;) Great job!

Author's Response: Dan ♥

And my response spree continues!!!

Don't be annoyed! It's not MY fault Bellatrix and her maggots are bad and mean and, erm, here. Have a cookie :D

I felt too much like I was back getting ready for finals with their NEWTS. only they get to take them on magic, not boring stuff. So, at least there's that. Oh wait, the magic is deadly half the time and corrupt people are walking the halls. So maybe my finals were the better of the two?!

I feel like I threw Snape in that room just because I'd realized I hadn't had him in for a while. haha. So he seemed like a good person to heighten the intensity :P

Abigail's story is one that's going to continue on to the next book, so at least we get a mini break from her! well, sort of. I guess the last two chapters are far from a break for anyone.

I had a lot of fun trying to think of NEWTS Defence type of tests. I mean, how can you defend yourself against the Dark Arts without real dark arts? It was sort of tricky trying to keep it hogwarts appropriate, at least until we see the little Dementor attack...

I'm so excited you think that section played out well! It was weird, because I almost couldn't remember how a Dementor us supposed to influence someone who hasn't heard their mother die. We know Harry hears the screaming because of that... so I didn't want to make Lily's encounter as dramatic, but still dramatic enough.

Ahh I loved those two finally getting to see them together. Exactly, if there was every a bigger sign that two people are one another's, I haven't seen it. And the fact that their animals go together, and not that james is so obsessed that his takes Lily's form, yeah, that's love :P.

To be totally honest, I'm not exactly sure of that connection either... maybe there will be a good place for the guy with a pipe to come in next book? ;) I'm just going to pretend anything that isn't explain is for book two. hahaah. Snape's only reason for being there was because Jami realized she hadn't paid attention to him for a while :P.

Getting James closer to the man who dies in Godric's Hollow is one of the biggest goals of these, and showing how he grew up, so I'm really thrilled that the transition is coming through!

Dan! I'm not even mentioned the Belle stuff because, well, you know why :(.

Thank you again for helping make all this happen ♥

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Review #7, by Morgana Tales 

19th July 2013:
Sorry for the late review. I went on vacation for a week. And my cat is very sick. So, I can't wait for the next book. :)

Author's Response: Don't be sorry! And I hope you had fun on vacation and that you're kitty is okay :(. I'm excited you're looking forward to the next book! The second to last chapter is posted! ♥

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Review #8, by True Author 

17th July 2013:
Haha, that's sort of how I feel right now. :) James and Lily are perfect together.
But I'm worried about Belle. I have some saddening suspicions about the end of this chapter. Anyways, PLEASE UPDATE SOON!


Author's Response: The Patronus scene was SO MUCH fun to write! And it makes me way too happy that you're feeling like that, because that's how I feel most of the time, too ♥

The next chapter is up! But it isn't a happy one :(. Don't hate me by the end, pretty please!

♥ Jami

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Review #9, by LilyEvans613 

16th July 2013:
Please please please PLEASE publish your fanfic as G. Norman Lippert did with his James Potter II Series! I read through each and every one of your chapters yesterday and on into the early, early hours of the morning because I simply could NOT stop.

I have shipped Lily/James ever since Rowling's subtle insights into their relationship were dropped gradually throughout the HP series, and have since spent time really searching for a fanfic that does them justice (as well as the entire Marauder era). The closest I'd come (until now) was entitled 'Potter's Charm' and while I'm certain it earned several awards for its depiction of L/J, etc., I must say - it doesn't hold a candle to 'Before They Fall'.

I'll be waiting on the edge of my seat for the final chapter of this book (I think I read that in another review here!), and I CAN'T WAIT for the second installment.

Excellent work, positively captivating writing - please please look into publishing so I can add this story to my HP collection!

Author's Response: Hi there! I just looked up the name -- I hadn't heard of him!

I don't even know how to begin thanking you for the amazing comments you left me. To be honest, I probably won't ever try and publish this. I'm really happy having it here on HPFF, and am working on writing an Original Fiction novel so I try and put plenty of time into that. But the fact that you think so highly of it means more to me than I can explain.

There's one more chapter posted, and then the last one will be posted this coming Saturday (I update every Saturday)! I'll start writing the second book and posting chapters probably 3 weeks after I finish this one (to give me time to finalize the outline) and that book will also be updated every Saturday :)!

I hope you know how much this review means to me, and I feel so honored that you've taken the time to leave it ♥

Thank you so much!


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Review #10, by patronus_charm 

16th July 2013:
I swear every time I begin to review this another house cup event comes along so this review has been a WIP since Sunday :P I will attempt to get it done now!

Ooh I see why you needed to know about exams now! Itís kinda sad that Lilyís doing her NEWTs now because it signifies her going out in the real and all the horrible stuff. I guess itís also sad that she has to go through all of those exams too, because no one enjoys them.

The tension between Snape and Lily when they were found out they were in the same room was palpable. The way she deliberately tried to avoid him was interesting to me, it makes me wonder whether sheís actually allowing herself to think her true feelings towards him or not. I guess with things like these Iíll never know but I do like to think they were slightly warmer than before. It did make sense for her to be all reflective about him because the end of Hogwarts is sort the final door closing on their friendship.

Lilyís sudden composure was really admirably. If it was me I would still be freaking out over the whole Snape thing. I did really like that mental link Belle had and that line about her disarming Bellatrix was really great. Ew for Madam Penrose though, I really didnít like her. Though all the examiners Iíve had have never been particularly nice though so I guess it goes without saying really.

The mini-duel thing was a really cool idea! Poor Lily though, just as it was all going so well Alrek had to come along and ruin it all. Boo to him. The whole reflecting mood Lily is in though is really great and totally makes sense. The sort of mental/obstacle course thing was really igneous and it was nice to see that she had managed to fight her way through it in the end. Then Madam Penrose went up in my opinion with congratulating Lily and saying sheís doing awesomely so yay for that!

Ah the patronus scene ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ - thatís all I have to say for it!

Ooh forgot to mention the dementors scene Ė that was really great and I was actually quite scared, but the scariness was fine considering what followed it. McGonagall questioning them was really great, and the whole building up of the darkness fits perfectly with the end of the school days.

ďMadam Penrose is unaccounted for.Ē - :O I knew she was evil and all that jazz, but the whole working for Voldemort? I really did not see that coming! Gah, nowhere is safe nowadays!

Yay Lilyís going to Healer school! I really canít wait for those scenes and the ones of them all living together itís going to be so exciting and I have a good feeling about this, so yay I just canít contain my excitement for book 2! The ending scene made me even more excited with the Death Eaters and I canít wait to see them later on during the war because I can imagine it would be even more interesting to read.

I happened to read through a review response and saw that there were only two chapters left! Ahaha why not one or three more chapters? Iím away on some Swiss camp with like no internet access, so I canít read the last one as soon as itís posted. Gah this makes me so sad. Iíll have to celebrate in non-real time :( Plus, Iím away from internet for a lot of the rest of the summer so I canít read the next book. *pouts angrily*

Anyhow, moaning aside I adored this chapter, Jami ♥


Author's Response: Hi lovely Kiana ♥

Yes! That was the reason for all my questions about the exams :P

I think Severus and Lily are stuck in that awkward place of at one time knowing everything about on another, but now knowing next to nothing. I'm a pretty firm believer that it wasn't Severus saying mudblood that drove them apart, but more they'd been drifting for a while before hand then Lily used that as an excuse to sever ties. So now, being so close to one another but knowing everything different seems like it would be a really stressful situation.

Showing that really no where is safe is such a huge goal for me. I think this war would be more terrifying than the first, because Voldemort didn't keep to the shadows the way he did during the second war. His entire goal was to make sure everyone was so terrified of him and being constantly watched by him, in my head at least. To be honest, I'm not entire sure what the goal of using a real Dementor really was. Maybe just the chance to send a clear message to Lily and Hogwarts, that they aren't as safe as they seem. Yep, I'll stick with that :P!

I'm SO excited you like the Patronus scene! That one was SO MUCH fun for me to write. I mean, even their patronuses belong together. How many other ways could two people be totally right for each other? ♥

I'm so excited you were able to review the next chapter, and if you aren't able to get to the last one this Saturday, you know it'll be waiting there for you ♥.

Kiana, I can't even tell you how much your reviews and support as meant to me. Thank you so, so much.

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Review #11, by Bree 

15th July 2013:
I'm only just reviewing now after having torn through all of your chapters, and I must say that your story is FLAWLESS. Everything is so believable, and you portray the canon characters so beautifully. You've really won me over with this. I can't say I've ever been so invested in a fic before. (;
Also, I didn't realize that this story wasn't completed until having read this chapter! You've done a truly lovely job, and I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing compliments! Doing the characters justice and giving them, what I hope, is a believable life before their death is so important to me. I'm head over heels in love with these guys, so I feel pretty obligated to try and do right by them.

I update every Saturday, and this story has two more chapters left!! Then I'll start the sequel to it that will cover their life in the order :)!

Thank you again so much for your amazing compliments and I'm so thrilled that you're enjoying it!

♥ Jami

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Review #12, by Abbey Rose 

15th July 2013:
Great story! love it to bits :)
You have an AWESOME writing style and you have AWESOME writing skills!
I really think you should write a 19 years story!
Again Great Story can't wait until the next chapter!

Author's Response: Awww! What an amazing surprise ♥
I'm so, so happy you liked the style and the story. To be honest, Marauders era is more my thing, but you never know!

Thank you again so much for stopping by. You've really put a smile on my face and made my night ♥


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Review #13, by Owlpost68 

14th July 2013:
Okay, I know why, but Arg!!!
You're too good. The detail of everything, their feelings for each other. It's too good.
Really great job, totally wasn't expecting the Dementer bit, plus, if that examiner wasn't really and examiner, and a death eater, they'd be able to report Lily's abilities!! Ack...
Really great job!

Author's Response: Awww!!! Yay! I'm so excited this chapter played out well for you! And really thrilled that their feelings and the exam and everything felt right ♥

Thank you so much for continuing to be part of this with me ♥ two more to go!

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Review #14, by Courtney Dark 

14th July 2013:
Hey there!

Oh my god, the end of this chapter was so haunting! I am so, so, so worried for Belle now, worried that this is somehow the end for her - I really, really hope it isn't! I so desperately want her to be alright! Gah! I am a mess of emotions right now!

This was an amazing chapter which I thoroughly enjoyed - you might have guessed that from the paragraph above. I actually found the whole exam section really interesting - and then it got more interesting still when Madam Penrose led Lily away. From the moment Madam Penrose told Lily that she shouldn't tell anyone about the extra exam until the next day, I knew something fishy was going on...but that didn't stop me from being shocked and horrified during the dementor sequence, which was written really well, by the way.

Aw, James found out Lily's dementor was a doe! That was probably my favourite bit of the chapter. It was nice to have a bit of adorable cuteness in between all the action and scariness and OH NO! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT-NESS?

The way you wrote about the house elf...that really gave me the shivers. You have a talent for writing creepiness, have I ever mentioned that?

Great, great chapter! I am looking forward to/dreading to see what happens next.


Author's Response: Hi Courtney ♥ I'm so happy you liked the exams! I really wanted to skip over the start of it and get to the meat of the chapter, but that wouldn't have felt quite right :P.

Ahh you're so perceptive! I'm so excited you picked up on Madam Penrose's 'not okay' sort of behavior.

I've been so excited to show their Patronuses together! I wanted to make it sweet without being cheesy, so I hope I pulled that off!

Hahaha I didn't mean to creep you out, but I'm still thrilled you think I have a talent for writing creepiness :P! It's so much fun to just not be in the good guys head sometimes. As you know, writing between Charlie and Tori! Sometimes being the person who isn't sweet and who isn't really good is just a relief!

Thank you so much for stopping by, and making me sit here and grin like an idiot ♥

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Review #15, by fizzingwizzbies 

14th July 2013:
Loved your description of the patronuses, very beautiful. Urgh Burgess is evil, slightly worried that this will be the end of Belle at some point, I mean it's just so sad to know that they are basically all going to die or something at somepoint. Gah. Other than that though, brilliant chapter!

Author's Response: I know what you mean. I didn't think about the emotional turmoil I was getting myself into with all of this, and it's so sad that the marauders just couldn't have a happier ending :(. I do think I found a way to make the end of book two *feel* happy, at least!

Thank you so much for another amazing review, and I'm so excited you liked the Patronuses descriptions! ♥


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Review #16, by DracoGal 

14th July 2013:
Now the Death Eaters are messing with Belle? I'll kill them! Sirius won't let anything happen to her so I hope it'll all be okay! James and Lily; adorable as always. They have a calming effect on each other. I can't wait to see what happens next week! :)

Author's Response: I love what you said about James and Lily having a calming effect on one another! I completely agree! Whereas Sirius and Belle work one another up, playing equal parts in a mounting storm, I think James and Lily sooth each other. I'm so happy you mentioned that ♥

Thank you for another amazing review, and for sticking by me and BTF for so long ♥

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