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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

27th January 2015:
I want to know her plan! Please tell me she's not going to go to the Black's and speak to them like she did her parents and then fall into a trap with Bellatrix there and get blasted into tiny bits and pieces.

Please tell me her plan doesn't involve her going anywhere near that family.

REALLY. PLEASE TELL ME THAT BECAUSE I AM SCARED BEYOND BELIEF.

I wouldn't put it past dear Whalburga to kill or hurt Belle. I think she would enjoy that very much. And I have a feeling Frank is going to propose soon. I'm not sure you're going to show it but it makes sense maybe right before they move in or the day of. I don't think that's cliche either because I can see Augusta saying something and pressing him to do it because a respectable couple buying a house together would be engaged.

Plus, they all die when they're...21, right? So it's their last year. So yes, it should happen fairly soon. That would be nice if you showed him proposing to her or their wedding.

I'm sickly obsessed with wedding/engagement scenes.

(And yet I never actually want to get married.)

We're so close to the end! I don't know if I can go on!

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Review #2, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

I really liked the Order meeting at the beginning of this chapter - it's so nice that we can get a bigger picture of all that's going on with the war and we're seeing it from both sides in this story. It's impressive the way that you're able to handle so many plotlines and bring everything together like that. The only suggestion I'd make is during the meeting, there's one point when you refer to Marlene as 'Miss McKinnon' in the narrative, which felt a bit out of place when everyone else is called by first names. But I liked the reminder that they're just children and the moral dilemma that comes with it - do they involve someone that young in the war?

I really enjoyed reading the build up to the match and the match itself as well. It's great that Lily and Belle will have a flat in the same building as the boys! And I loved reading the match - of course, the fact that Gryffindor just one the Quidditch Cup made it even better! The ending was great though, because I thought that it was a good reminder of the way that Lily's been affected by all the recent events, I'm just glad that James was there for her! ♥

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

23rd July 2013:
Hello Jami!

When I saw the title of this chapter I was immediately excited! You know how much I love James so it was nice to have a chapter quite focused on him.

But let's rewind to the order meeting. I liked the start - it kind of gave us an update as to what's happening in the Ministry, Order and what Voldemort's up too. You also confirmed what I suspected about McGonagall's reluctance to ask her Gryffindors to join the order as well as Dumbledores. I liked the little cameo's of other characters too - Moody is always fun but also Hagrid.

The start of the gang's section at the breakfast table really had me giggling. I love your idea's about James puking in the middle of the game and Peter's fear he might need the loo up in the air. I have to say though, my favourite bit was this bit: 'She used to get annoyed by that trait of his, the bullheaded sort of attitude that always prompted him to think he could get whatever he wanted. Now she understood it better, and honestly couldn't help but admire it. It wasn't as if he thought he could get anything he desired because he was James Potter. No... it was the fact that he'd apparently realized long ago he had the ability to set his mind to something and try harder than anyone else to make it happen.' Yes. This is actually James. You've also given a little nod to how annoying Lily used to find him but as always I'm so so so happy you didn't focus on any of that. This version of them is so much better! Sorry to copy such a long quote but that may be one of my fav quotes relating to James/Lily!

Eugh - it feels like your starting the build up to Olivia and William and I hate that! I love them so much, you've seriously made them come to life as characters and I know I'm going to be uber sad when the time comes. I like your attention to the floo/apparation effects though and how they may take their toll on the body.

The Quidditch match was so exciting. You're right - you can't keep repeating things over and over again but you managed to capture the excitement of the match and you also made me so happy that James won! I think you did a great job! Also - the little present for James was a really cute and lovely idea.

Finally, the last bit. It was kind of sad to see Lily still effected by Alreks attack, but of course it was necessary. Of course she would still be dealing with it. Poor James must have felt awful but it was him who could make her feel better of course. A horrible but good way to finish the chapter!

Two typos I spotted:

'A few Hit Wizrads have already run.' Wizards not Wizrads (although that is kind of a cool word)

'keep the Ministry protecting the wizaring world' a different variation but I presume you mean wizarding.

Awesome chapter lovely! I really enjoyed this one!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren ♥

I really liked taking a bit to focus on James and well. He's the least exhausting of the bunch, i think :P!

I think the power struggle that was going between the Ministry, the people in it, and Voldemort would have really created a lot of danger. The Minster or a department head doesn't do what they've been ordered/threatened to, and suddenly a bus full of muggles is flipped off a cliff or a building is exploded.

Ahh I'm so happy you liked that bit, as it was one of those few of mine that I actually end up liking :P. I think James could seem very entitled until you get to know him and realize it's not that he thinks he deserves it all, but he wants it and he's going to find a way to damn well get it! :P

Don't worry, as I've mentioned before, I will keep those two around for as long as possible ♥ Lily's fun to look at the odd parts of magic, like Floo, through because she's a Muggle born and you'd think would have to think it's all just really odd sometimes :P

Yay!!! I'm so happy you liked the Quidditch game!!! It was hard, haha. I was happy that people *cough Lauren* have been asking *cough demanding* that I write a match, because it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be :P!

Thank you so much for another amazing review, m'dear! And I'm really happy you saw how necessary to show that Lily's still dealing with the attack is.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your amazing reviews ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #4, by MissMdsty 

21st July 2013:
Another brilliant chapter! I love it when you talk sports to me! :D

Let's take it one thing at a time! I'm anxious about Moody's plan about getting the Aurors to identify the mole! The part where Dumbledore thinks about what these kids are getting themselves into, that made me tear up, especially the part about them being brave as lions, but children none the less! This is something I've noticed in your writing, and it's something that your Marauder story has in common with the canon books, is those little bits and pieces that remind the reader that there is still a war out these, and people are dying and they will be forced to take up arms sooner rather than later!

Lily's attitude is very fitting of the whole ordeal she had to go through. She is still frail but you can tell she is trying to stay strong and enjoy what time she has left in school and that is amazing to see! I love how she is such a strong role model and is still a woman, with her own weak spots and her hesitations!

I just love when they make plans to move in and start their life, it's very bittersweet, because by this point I've already grown so attached to these characters, even though I know how they end up! You write these chapters and these stories, for Sirius and Belle, Lily, James, the whole group, that you make me just want to live in the moment with them and deal with stuff when it comes up!

This was a chapter so filled with emotions, since we are entering the "lasts" portion of their education. Last match, last Cup, last exams. That just makes me sad, but in a good way. That sounds strange! Amazing chapter my dear! *hearts*

Author's Response: Hi darling!!!

It's so sad thinking about how young they all are getting into this war, isn't it? I hate that they ha to sacrifice so much and saw such little improvement. But that's why there story is so tragic, I suppose.

I"m so excited that you think Lily is a strong role model with her own weak spots. I want her to be real, if that makes sense.

I wish I could say that I'm sorry it's bittersweet, but I'm still so happy that you love the characters that I can't be sorry! haha!

Ugh Ral, how do I even thank you for all the awesome review you leave? You turn me to puddles, puddles that want to hug you ♥


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Review #5, by CambAngst 

18th July 2013:
Hi, Jami! I'd hoped to be able to review this for the HC competition this evening, but it was not to be. So without further ado, here it is:

The meeting in the Hog's Head really helped to keep us in tune with how bad things are getting outside of Hogwarts. If you weren't giving us an occasional look into what's happening with the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters, it would be fairly easy to get lost in the stress and excitement of a group of Seventh Year students on the verge of finishing school, falling in love, starting their new lives and all the other wonderful things happening inside the castle walls.

I loved your Dumbledore in this section. All the different feelings that pass through him as he ponders the lives of his students -- current and past -- were a beautiful compliment to a character that seems like a very happy, mischievous soul who's been forced to deal with far too much sobering reality. He's trying his best not to let the war drag him down and destroy everything that's good and joyful in life, but it's hard. And that difficulty not only makes him sad, it makes him angry. A lot of writers are afraid to cross that line into "angry Dumbledore", but I think it's an important part of who he is and why he fights so hard to stop Tom Riddle and the Death Eaters.

The last bit, where he ponders the students and whether they'll become involved in the war, was bittersweet. It would be fun to think about James, Sirius and the others taking their places to fight against Voldemort except that we know how that ends. :(

Poor James! I love the pre-last-game-of-his-Hogwarts-career jitters. Even more than that, I love the way that his friends are relentless about not giving him a moment's peace to wallow in his nerves. (Can you wallow in nerves? Is that a thing?) In a way, I'm sure they're doing him a favor.

Lily couldn’t let that lie go untouched. “No, you had the firewhiskey flu!” - Ouch. Love hurts sometimes.

Bodies had to compress themselves and organs had to endure the pressure of squishing together until your travel was complete. A bit grotesque when you thought about it, really. - And Lily is just the one to think about it! I really do love it when you let her stop and ponder the ins and outs of magic.

I'm starting to get a definite "Friends" vibe about the group's post-Hogwarts living arrangement. Just trade the ditzy blond girl for Peter and I think we're there. You'll have Frank and Alice coming in from the 'burbs to go bar-hopping. The city crew heading out to Frank and Alice's house for cookouts...

Ooh! I can't wait to see how they're going to pry Sirius's money out of his parents' vault. Expecting lots of wonderful mischief!

I really liked the small token of appreciation and affection that the rest of the team gives to James before the match. Ooh! Before I forget... I really think you need to start making a list of all the little things that James and Lily are collecting over the course of this story: the sweet dreams snuggie, the Snitch and the picture, Lily's painting, James's first broom... I think all of it needs to end up in the family vault. Because then you, Jami, need to write a story where Harry finds it all after the war ends. I am expecting feels to end all feels... :)

I know how much you dislike writing Quidditch games, but I have to say you did a fantastic job with this one. I loved James's perspective, the sort of unfocused way that he spreads his attention all around the pitch, but then suddenly zones in when the Quaffle is in his hands. It really felt like the way a high-level athlete perceives the field of play, especially one that's calling plays for his team. You kept the speed of play crisp and there was the constant, palpable sense of danger that really should be a part of any well-written Quidditch match. It's a dizzyingly fast, incredibly dangerous sport and you could really sense that in the way that you wrote it.

His breath was coming in spurts as he tightened his calloused hands on the broom, then he made a quick decision, reckoning he didn’t really need all his limbs. - Sigh. Yep, that's our boy.

Moving on into the stands, I liked the warm, easy rapport between the group. The comfort level between all of them, and especially Sirius and Belle, has reached incredible proportions. Alice is practically inside Lily's head these days.

Lily's brief setback in the tent wasn't fun to read, but I think it needed to happen. It was a very realistic touch. It takes a long time to get over the kind of assault that she suffered at Alrek's hands. It was great that James was there to help her through it. OK, strictly speaking, he was the cause of her setback, but that's really beside the point.

She was okay. She would be okay. - Atta girl!

Another fantastic chapter. I knew you could write a good Quidditch match, and you did a great job with it. We're getting so close. This is tense!

Author's Response: Hi Dan! Guess who's on their response spree?!

I think sometimes I took on too much with all the different stories in one story. The order, the DE, the group and all their mini stories. But when I think about it, I definitely feel like it gave it all a very round sort of feel.

Dumbledore and I might be getting closer to making an agreement. I won't throw fits if he stops being so damn difficult. Though that doesn't prove true for the last chapter so far, because his section is turning into a nightmare. See, aren't you excited for Friday night now? ;)

That breakfast scene was one of those that feels like it takes forever to write. I almost cut it until I read through and was like... hmm... i guess it's amusing enough. This must be why jkr picked 3 main characters. Because 8 are a nightmare when they're all together!

I think I definitely imprint some of my feelings about magic in Lily. But it makes sense, we both come from muggle families! although I'm a muggle that comes from muggle families, so I guess that's the big difference :P Oh and I don't have James Potter in love with me. HAHA.

I love your comparison to the Friends vibe! I would love it more if we still had our French blonde ;(. I'm anxious to see how I do with them all in such different settings, though! It'll be an adventure, that's for sure.

Hahah Dan, if you can get someway to have a family vault with all this stuff, you are more than welcome to that story. Harry and I do NOT get along :P

I'm so excited you liked this Quidditch game! It was one of the most difficult thing I've written in this chapter, and I don't think I've made my distaste for writing it anything close to subtle ;). but I think I pulled it off rather well. When I was writing it, it sort of clicked just how dangerous the sport is! What are they teaching these children?!

I'm so happy you pushed me to write that setback, because I agree that it was really important. She's human and deserves to feel human things, not just breeze by stuff like it was no big deal.

Isn't it crazy how close this story is the end? It doesn't even feel real yet. I don't think it will until after I go to work on that weeks chapter, and realize I'm working on an entirely different book! haha!

Thank you so much Dan for all your amazing support ♥


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Review #6, by True Author 

17th July 2013:
Jami! I can't believe you've added a Quidditch Match through the PoV of the players! It was simply amazing. It fitted well in the plot and the flow. Glad Violet isn't around here too much.
Fabian! His appearance saddens me. Though it suited well here.
Lovely chapter as usual!!!
Ashwini

Author's Response: I KNOW! It's a miracle that I've finally just bit the bullet and wrote one! Trust me, if I thought I could have gotten away with breezing past another, I would have ;)!

Thank you so much Ashwini for continuing to make me feel so motivated about this story ♥


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Review #7, by ValWitch21 

10th July 2013:
Am I dreaming? Did you actually write a Quidditch match? From the point of view of the players?

*slow-motion applause*

I jest, I jest -- it was very well written, and definitely not boring, so congratulations to you! The only thing I'm curious about is did James ever say who'd be replacing Violet? Or did I just not read properly?

Again, Fabian's appearance at the start made me so sad. I wonder why him, but for me he's the character who marks the proximity of the war the most.

Boo, all caught up now, and it's only Wednesday! ♥

Author's Response: YES I WROTE A QUIDDITCH MATCH. FROM JAMES'S POINT OF VIEW. AND IT WAS TERRIFYING.

Yes, Nigel is the one that replaced Violet :) this is the first time that's mentioned in this chapter though, so if you mean did he say before... no :P.

I think Fabian and Gideon make me sad because there just another reminder of how much Molly lost. First her brothers, then years later her son all to the same man. ;(. It's too sad.

I wish it was still Wednesday! Now it's Monday and I hate mondays! BOO!



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Review #8, by Sarah Stone 

8th July 2013:
You r gonna write more chapters... RIGHT?

Author's Response: Hi there! Absolutely! There are three more chapters left in this book, and then a sequel that I'll start writing/posting a few weeks after the last chapter of this book :)!

Thanks for your review!
Jami


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Review #9, by Morgana Tales 

7th July 2013:
When I read the first two words in the title, I was freaking out. The Last! You made me think that I was reading the last chapter. Well, I have cooled off with that friend, and life seems good right now. I am so excited for school. Let's just say, I am going to a new one now. Thank you so much for posting this, and I am sorry for the delayed response. I didn't read this chapter until today. Love you, Morgan :3

Author's Response: Hahah no no I wouldn't just spring the last chapter on you like that!!!

And I'm happy everything has leveled out and calmed down a bit ♥ And a new school! Yay!

Thank you so much for another awesome review, Morgan!

♥ Jami!


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Review #10, by MoonyPadfoot&Prongs18 

7th July 2013:
I thought it was AWESOME! Plus your Quidditch match was good-I'm glad they won! Haha the ending was good too, totally diffrent then what I thought was going to happen! I loved it!

Author's Response: Hi darling! I'm SO relieved you liked the Quidditch match! My brain does not work in sports mode, so it was really difficult for me!

Thank you so much for your awesome review ♥


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Review #11, by patronus_charm 

7th July 2013:
Hi Jami!

I really loved the opening section, it was just really fascinating to see the dynamics of the Order and the outside world, because sometimes when we follow Lily and James we don’t always find out the full extent of it. Dumbledore’s thoughts were really touching and the part about watching these students grow up and then having to send them out to fight was so sad. I never really thought about it from his perspective but after reading that it makes you wonder how wracked with guilt he was after each death.

This line ‘But they were still just children.’ Really shows what I mean ♥

The banter between all of them at breakfast was fun to watch! I wish I had seen that match in fifth year it would have been funny but also slightly disgusting at the same time. Poor James! You did the transition to the more thoughtful and almost worrying Lily really well. Of course she’ll get admitted to the healing school though it will be interesting to see whether she decides to balance both that and the Order at the same time. I’m inclined to say yes but I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

No the Potter can’t be getting old! They’re so sweet and if they died I may actually cry. Ok I know they have to die, but I can at least hope it’s due to some old age thing and not because of the Death Eaters because that death wouldn’t be pleasant in the slightest. Ack the suspense! I almost thought the Potters had suddenly started hating on Belle because it was so long, but thank Merlin it was good news!

Hmm I do wonder how long they’re going to stay in this flat before moving in with their respective boyfriends. Or maybe something horrible like Belle dying will cause Lily to move in with James. Gah I really should stop thinking of everyone dying, but that’s the problem with Marauders story because it’s inevitable there will be lots of deaths.

Hell yeah to this line! ‘He knew they didn’t stand the best chance of winning the House Cup this year, Ravenclaw well ahead of all three houses.’ Though I think you might have missed a was after Ravenclaw or it could be a with, either one I guess :)

The present idea for James was really sweet and he did deserve because he put in so much for the team. It’s going to be sad to not see all the other Hogwarts people in the next book, but I suppose we’ll get to meet a whole new range of others which will be cool.

I forgot that Frank commentated at the quidditch matches! I’ve really loved him having a bigger part in this chapter as he is a great character and one I do enjoy reading. Though that might be because I think Alice and Frank are just so adorable together! I have to say Jami I feel so proud of you of showing nearly all of the quidditch match given how much you hate them! I suppose it is the last one so you never have to write one again after this!

Sirius was great during the quidditch match! I think it was just the cocky smile which really made it as it was so him. I have to admit I did enjoy reading what they were doing more than the match but then again I don’t particularly like sport so that’s probably why :P Aw and we got Sirius/Belle fluffy bits! You need to stop putting them in Jami, because they’re in danger of taking over James and Lily on the fluff scale!

Ok given that you’re a Gryffindor I shouldn’t have been surprised that they won the match and cup! I tend to make Ravenclaw win far more times than they probably should too :P Lily should join in with the party she deserves it! I mean, if she heard what the head girl at my school got up to she wouldn’t have anything to worry about at all :P

Then the ending was perfect. Perfect in a way of realism not as in Lily’s mental state mind. I really like how Alrek is still continuing to play with Lily’s mind and it’s making me wonder how long it will continue to do so. Another amazing chapter Jami ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi lovely girl! I hope summer holiday is treating you well! I always wonder how guilty him and McGonagall must've felt at times. It's not like they forced anyone to join, but just seeing so many young people die through both wars couldn't have been easy :(

I have an odd theory. In this book, Dumbledore -- he he isn't thrilled about it -- is still pretty quick to give the group information and let them handle themselves as adults instead of sheltering them. Then in the HP series he really tries to shield things from Harry that he thinks might be too difficult to take in. It kind of built itself into my canon that he wasn't as careful with Harry's parents, and that played into part of the reason that he held back so much from their son. It might be all crap, but it's there in my head regardless :P!

I love those just everyday friend scenes, and I'm so excited you liked it. There will definitely be a lot of changes that the group doesn't plan on, and I'm so anxious to see what you think about all those!

If it helps, the majority of people I've introduced you to/kept bringing back in this will probably be turning up in book two again ;). I think that's one of the most fun parts about knowing I have a sequel to play with, is i don't really have to say goodbye to any of the minor characters that I may want to pick back up :P!

I'm so excited you liked the present! I thought he deserved it for being such a good little captain! I was thinking along the same lines of you, that at least this was the last match I'll ever have to write, until I remembered about my Oliver story :P! But he's the manager in that so at least it'll be able to get written from a watchers prospective. It's just SO HARD to write from a player who is, well, playing! I'm so relieved you liked it though! Knowing you're proud of it gave me all sorts of feels ♥

Hahaha to be totally honest, I'd probably have had hufflepuff win the cup and have done things differently from the start, except for we know James's name was on a Quidditch Cup trophy and he was listed as captain. And, as this is the only year I've made him captain, I had no real choice but for Gryffindor to win. Poof Puffs... haha! I still can't get over that head boy and girls actually exist, haha!

I'm so happy you liked the ending and the chapter ♥ thank you again for another awesome review, Kiana! Three more to go!!


♥ Jami


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Review #12, by Courtney Dark 

7th July 2013:
Hey there! It was such a good feeling to get home from the weekend and find a brand new chapter up!

Okay, I literally have less than five minutes to write this before I have to be out the door, so I'll make this quick:

I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! Well, of course I did, I love every single chapter that you write. I just felt the need to say that so I could sound like one of those cool positive reviewers.

Anyway, I really loved the Order of the Phoenix meeting at the beginning - it's definitely cool to get to see into the eyes and minds of the adult 'cast members' of the story, and see what they're all up to. And Albus Dumbledore is just amazing! And so are Fabian and Gideon:)

Oooh, I am now very curious about what Belle's plan for Sirius's inheritance is! Belle has grown on me so much throughout the course of this novel - she is a lot more cunning and clever than I initially, thought that's for sure! And I just love her with Sirius so much - especially during the Quidditch match! They were so adorable!

I think you wrote the Quidditch match really well, and you managed to keep it interesting! I also find it extremely difficult to write Quidditch well, so kudos! (I really hope I used that in the right context or I'll sound like an idiot.)

It definitely makes sense for Lily to still be having a few worries and issues after all that's happened to her - after all, she's only human. And I love how much her relationship with James has developed, how close they are now.

Amazing chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney! Aww! I'm so happy you were excited to see a new chapter up ♥

I'm so jealous of the people who can sound like cool positive review responders. I read people's responses and they're so professional about it and I'm all, ahh too excited can't function! Haha!

I had a little but of a heart melt session during that bit at the Quiddtich match. I'm so happy they got to you, too! And that Belle grew on you during this ♥

Writing from Albus's perspective was SO HARD. Thank goodness that comes so rarely, because he takes me ages to figure out, haha! Thank you so much for your compliments on that section!

Hahah as far as I know, kudos was used in perfect context! And WHY on earth are those matches so difficult to write?! I'm so thrilled you liked this one ♥

Aww, as much as I love all the other characters, James and Lily will always be my babies so it makes my heart all fuzzy that you love how their relationship is developing.

Thank you so much for your amazing compliments! You really know how to make me blush, missy! Okay, that's a lie, I don't blush. But if I did, I'd be beet red during your reviews!

♥ Jami


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Review #13, by DracoGal 

6th July 2013:
I know this sounds kinda bad, but I find it good that Lily is still fearful because of Alrek's attack. No one could get over that in a matter of weeks so it makes her more human. Yay! GRYFFINDOR WON!! xD I cannot wait to see what is still in store for our lovelies next Saturday! :)

Author's Response: Hi darling!! I hated making Lily sad, but I agree, and my beta helped me with deciding, that it was important to show she hasn't fully recovered yet.

I'm so excited you liked this chapter ♥ Thank you so much for another amazing review!

&heats; Jami


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Review #14, by Owlpost68 

6th July 2013:
That was a great chapter! I'm really curious what Belle's plan is for making sure Sirius gets his inheritance. I also love the idea of them living right near each other :)
The teams present to James was sweet, and not anything I'd seen before in a story :) I do think there was a bit too much description in the game, but like you said, there can't be too many ways to make going back and forth interesting lol.

There were a couple of mistakes but couldn't find the other one, I thought I copied it but didn't.. :P

This one was when they were reading James' parents letter:
avoid traveling my magical means- by magical means

And lastly, I loved the ending, it was sweet, and realistic. There are going to be things that she won't get over quickly or ever, but at least James is there to catch her.

Really great job!

Author's Response: Hi lovely!! I'm so excited you liked this chapter! Belle's plan for Mrs. Black and what is going to happen is something I've been SO SO excited to write. It's taking all my self control not to just tell you everything in this response :P!

Thank you for pointing that out! I'll do another read through in the morning after my eyes have rested to see if I can catch the others!

Your reviews are such a treat, and I really appreciate you taking the time to stop by! Thank you again ♥

Jami


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