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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

27th January 2015:
She thought of her own initiation day, the memory slipping into her as welcomed as the touch of a lover.

Bellatrix, you evil, disgusting woman. Uh. That sentence makes my skin crawl. You and Dan make Bellatrix one hundred times more creepy than she already is.

And now she wants to kill Belle. She’s going to kill Belle, isn’t she? Or rather her little minions are because I know you J, you’re not going to stray from canon and not make them Death Eater’s. They’re going to fufill their challenges because that’s what they need to do.

So then in my other review I was right. That’s what’s going to lead Lily to not train to be a Healer. That’s going to be her breaking point that leads her into the other. She needs a death. Not a death of an attacker but a death of a family or friend by the hands of magic, not natural causes, to really get her in the thick of things. Right now she’s still too innocent.

No one disarmed Bellatrix Lestrange.

I can’t wait for Molly to kill you Bellatrix.

(I’m way too invested in this story.)

Bore me? How could you ever bore me or anyone else reading this story? I figured by the title of the chapter you were going to have Lily make Slughorn his gift. It was so sweet. I wish you would have shown his reaction because their interactions, though brief, are really quite charming.

Oh Jamie, my heart is heavy. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to continue the story because I feel if I’m right about your foreshadowing and hints I’m going to be completely and utterly heartbroken.

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Review #2, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Bellatrix's return to this was so terrifying. Seriously, I don't know how you manage to write her so well, but it really does chill me to the bone when I'm reading the sections about her, especially the sections when she's alone. I actually feel a bit sorry for the prospective Death Eaters now that I know that she's the one setting the test. You just capture her so well, though - her inherent sense of superiority and the devotion for Voldemort. Also, I'm starting to seriously worry about Belle. Should I be worrying about Belle? Jami, please don't do anything to Belle!

It was so great to see Lily returning to being herself and starting to get over some of the things that have happened to her - she's been through so much in less than twelve months and it's nice to know she's got such great friends to keep her on track. I loved Belle's out-spokenness in this chapter and the way James noticed Sirius behaved around her. The part when Lily brewed the potion was actually really interesting, and I loved the detail that you put into it - there was so much there and it was quite soothing to read about something calmer!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by MissMdsty 

20th July 2013:
So it's 4 am and since the girls decided to form a support group on Twitter for BTF I just had to see what happened! I didn't read ahead so you can smirk in an evil way while you read and nod your head knowingly at my hopes for these characters, because you've probably dashed them by now and I have yet to learn this!

Bella is absolutely scary and her plan is evil and I am scared! I hope nothing happens to Belle before the end of this book! I will cry buckets and never forgive you! I promise!

I loved the part with James and Sirius and their talk about girls. It's so sweet to see boys in these moments of honesty when they don't feel the need to act all macho and can just be human as well! I giggled at the part where James took the tie from Lily's fishbraid! Those are tricky and make your fingers cramp up if you have super long hair. I'd be mad too if somebody undid my braid!

I loved the part about the potion brewing so much, you have no idea! I just ate up every detail and I was once again blown away by how amazingly talented you are! And the part about the fish just made me tear up, thinking about how Slughorn spoke of the fish to Harry! *sigh*

I'm off to read the next one! :) *hugs*

Author's Response: Ral ♥

Ugh I can't even address the first few paragraphs of your review because you know what happens and I know what happens and ugh :(

I thought the bit of the boy moment was fun, too. I felt like we hadn't had that in a bit, and I'm excited you liked it ♥ Those are SO tricky! It takes me forever to braid my hair into one, and even then it looks sloppy!

Awww yay I'm so excited you like those details! I know that everyone doesn't love the slower bits, so having you to nerd out on details like that with me is an awesome treat ♥

Thank you so much for this perfectly awesome review, m'dear!


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Review #4, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

18th July 2013:
Hello again!

Jami, the frightening way you get into Bellatrix's mind, well it just astounds me. You lace every thought of hers with revenge or her love of Voldemort and quite frankly, as amazing as it is, it does scare me a little!!

The initiation tests are such a good idea and I like the way Bella is using them to her advantage to get at belle who I am absolutely terrified for! I'm not going to lie! Not everyone can keep avoiding Bella and I don't know belles fate and yeah - you know I'm worried for her!!

I also like the bit of background we got about bellas own initiation tests. I wasnt surprised to read that she loved every second of it though. It's that kind of insane thinking that makes her such an amazing villain as well as a deadly one!!

Will we find out about Abigail by the way? I'm curious as to what changed for her? Has she seen sense?

Oh I was so happy to see happy lily again. Her mood after the attack is completely understandable but happy lily is so much lovelier to read!! I'm glad to see you dealt with her mood though with both her and James focusing it on a bit. The pair of them though, blaming themselves. I completely expected that reaction from James though so it was fun to see you write it that way!

I like that you also dealt with violet a little in this chapter too. I don't blame lily for not forgiving violet yet - if she ever does. She has every right to be angry at her!!

Oh I loved belles response to James! Her bluntness is so funny to read an really cracks me up. The little bit of guy talk we got at the end there was really good to see too. It was nice to have just a little James/Sirius time as they are best mates after all.

Ok the last section wasnt boring at all! You have amazing ideas that fill in any blanks we may have about what we know and/or make a really interesting read. I love your ideas about the potion - giving us the origins with the mermaids as well as some other details is what sets this story apart from others that I've read. I also love that you included the fish for Slughorn! One thing nobody ever does is seem to tell harry stories about his mum and dad ad that's one of the few we do get so it was really good that you included it in there!

Amazon chapte Jami - I really enjoyed this one! The level to detail was amazing and I just can't tell you how much I love these characters!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren ♥

HAHAHAH. Bellatrix's sections scare me sometimes too. Maybe I have some secret desire to be a minion of Voldemort ;). mwaaah. No, don't worry, I'll contain my creepiness to just Bellarix :P

I would comment on your paragraph not knowing Belle's fate... but.. ;(.

Hahahah I agree about it not being surprised she loved every second. And yes!! That, to me, is exactly what makes her deadly. The fact that she's doing this all because she really loves it. Not because she wants power, not because she wants money or to be feared. Because she wants to please Voldemort and because she loves being able to be part of it. Now that's just messed up. Poor creepy thing.

Yes! We'll find out about what altered her opinion enough to back off, but not until book two ;). She's one of those subplots that gets carried on. Polly will too!

Okay, this is going to sound weird. But! The fact that you expected that of James, and that James did blame himself like you thought, makes me feel like I'm doing a good job keeping their characters defined and consistent. I'm so excited that you've gotten to know him that well... if that makes sense.

I think I'd stay angry at her as well. She didn't know the extent of her actions, but this was a big lesson on life for her.

I felt like we hadn't had enough guy talk lately, so I'm excited that you liked there bit of it. The friendship between those two usually makes me even happier than the J/L one ;). Well, sometimes. You know... it's probably a tie. haha.

Awww I'm so happy that section didn't put you to sleep! I know everyone doesn't like those scenes, but... well... too bad for them because I like writing them too much :P Oh my gosh Lauren I've gone on so many rants with Sarah (Athene Goodstrength) about the lack of stuff people tell Harry about his parents. You all knew them! Give the kid a break and tell him some stories! hmph. haha!

Thank you so much for another amazing review and for liking my nerdy mermaid scene ♥


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Review #5, by True Author 

17th July 2013:
Hey! :D
Grabbing the opportunity of House Cup and reviewing all pending chapters of Before They Fall! :D

This was an amazing chapter as usual! Bellatrix scares me with her cruelty in this one you know. She was damn effective. Especially the mention of the fire consuming was very very effective. Her appearances are always chilling.
The concept of the First Five is wonderful and original. Its totally a Voldemort- ish idea. ;) All the hiearchy and stuff. Why isn't Lucius in there??
I loved the connection between Slughorn's memory here.
Too perfect!

Ashwini
PS- I'm in love with the chapter image!!

Author's Response: Hi there :)! Awww yay I'm so excited to see your thoughts on these chapters!

I swear, if I didn't get to write Bellatrix's evil parts in the story every now and then, I would just die from the Marauder cuteness, haha! It's always so... exhilarating to slip back into her perspective!

In my head, Lucius didn't really rise to one of the most important to right before Voldemort tired to kill Harry. The mental time line has him and Bellaltrix really taking a step up in the ranks about 2 years from now, and this (training future DE) is a big trial to see how they can handle being in command.

The chapter image is GORGEOUS isn't it?! I don't know how she keeps doing it! Ess is such a talented artist.

Thank you so much for another perfect review, Ashwini! And I hope you're enjoying the HC!

♥ Jami


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Review #6, by CambAngst 

10th July 2013:
So far behind it's shameful. That's all I'm gonna say about that. On to the task at hand!

Oh, Bella! She's so amazingly creepy. It was a little touch, but I loved the way that she feels soothed by what fire consumes, not what it provides. I really don't feel one bit bad for Mulciber and Avery, even though they have no idea what they're in for, even if they do well. I like the hierarchy you've set up among the Death Eaters, especially the idea of the First Five. Voldemort always seemed so obsessed with order and hierarchy. Also, if you add Bella and Lucious to the First Five, you have seven, the most magical of all numbers. The passive-aggressive sort of feelings she has about the only other potential female Death Eater were also a nice touch. I'm sure she loves the idea of being the only female taken into her Master's confidence.

I do not like this idea of her turning her prospects loose on Belle. Anything bad happening to our Marauders makes me irrationally sad. Yes, they're our Marauders now. I've decided to seek joint custody. ;)

I wonder sometimes whether Voldemort feels a little creeped out be Bellatrix, too. Not that he'd ever let it show, but how would you feel if you were an evil, dark wizard and you were torturing one of your followers and she's taking everything you can dish out and begging for more? Most of the Death Eaters probably tried to prove something by fighting against his Legillimency and here she is opening up her mind and gushing wub all over him. He probably felt like showering when her initiation was over.

It's nice to see Lily making progress on her recovery. Going through all of the little bits of her life that she's reclaiming was a great way to illustrate it. It even seems like she's found closure of a sort in the way that Alrek died. You live by the sword, you die by the sword. But it's not perfect. When she hears James at the bottom of the stairs, the panic still comes back, at least a little. Then she just sort of throws herself at him and she's all smiles and cuddles and everything is right in the world.

"I don't know why this affected me so much more than the Bellatrix one..." she began, her fingers lacing together nervously. -- For some reason, this line struck me as really amusing. It's like she gets attacked by dark witches and wizards on such a regular basis that she has a rating scale.

After the first week she'd actually been doing quite a bit better, until Violet tried to come up to her with an apology. Lily knew it was sincere, but she couldn't forgive the girl just yet. -- I think we can all agree that Lily should have kicked her butt. Everyone would have felt better. I know I would have.

I really loved the way that you've brought Belle and Sirius along to the point where they're quite comfortable with their relationship. Back before the trip to France, it definitely wasn't a foregone conclusion that they'd make it to this point. I'm definitely with James on this one. It's nice to see, but it takes a bit of getting used to. As far as these flats go, between couples and pranksters and werewolves, I think plenty of silencing charms are a great idea.

The two continued to wrestle their way to the pitch, which was really the only manly way to finish off the conversation they'd just had... -- This is the sort of thing I like about you, Jami. You get it. Nobody will ever see Jami's James and Sirius -- our James and Sirius, actually -- bonding over pedicures and having a good cry.

Poor Flitwick! He must have been mortified.

I think you just wrote the most perfect Horace Slughorn I've ever read in a fan fic. Everything about him is so cloying, glad-handed and genteel. Even the furniture in his office sounds like him: comfortable and conversational. Everything seems geared around creating an enhanced sense of intimacy with his favorite students. His concern over Lily's recovery felt equal parts genuine and motivated by his desire to be "in the know". I also loved how his desire to be able to outguess her intentions where brewing Fairy Water was concerned actually helped her to avoid revealing the whole truth to him. Funny how his desire to look well-informed could backfire on him.

Aww.. her thoughts on Severus were pretty touching and they cut right to the core of the character and his fascination with dark magic and power. You have to wonder how much Lily could have helped that "scared little boy" if only James and Snape hadn't hated one another with such a passion. In the end, Lily was forced to choose and her choice defined an era.

As always, you descriptions of the physiological effects of the potion and the details of the brewing process were brilliantly done. You mixed and matched so much muggle science and magical practice. It was lovely. And the little gift she leaves behind for Professor Slughorn was genius! No wonder she's his favorite.

We're drawing so close to the end. It gets harder and harder, at least to me, to write these reviews because at times I feel like I've run out of ways to tell you how great this story is and I'm just repeating myself. Well, at the risk of repeating myself, great chapter!

Author's Response: I'm getting caught back up with responses, yay! Hi ♥

These DE parts are always such a nice little break. I love the Marauders of course, but getting to step away from their still naive selves into someone as absolutely off as Bellatrix feels... rejuvenating. Haha. I'm excited you like the set up of hierarchy. I remember at one point us learning that the Death Eaters didn't even know all the other death eaters, keeping a kind of separation between them all and using the hierarchy system for that seemed the most fitting. And here come Avery and Mulciber, just little slugs on the bottom of it all.

We've discussed this joint custody, and I'm all for it. But YOU get them over Holidays while they're getting attacked by Bellatrix and Alrek, and I'll take them while they're behaving :P

So with Bellatrix's feelings toward Voldemort, you know my analogy for that in regards to her actions relating to a battered spouses. I think Voldemort probably realizes how much more control he has over her than anyone else, because it's not fear/greed/desire for power that drives her. It's the absolutely need to please him. But that could be somewhat terrifying... haha. She's like the crazy girl in college who stalks the guy she has one class with because she's certain they're going to get married and have babies :P

Hahahah aww Dan your line about me getting it put a ridiculous smile on my face. You know my deal and I've gone on this tirade too many times... but I just want people to see them and feel about them the way I do. MY WAY. haha. Sure, they can bond. They're best friends, but they're not going to humiliate themselves by being all girly about it :P

Slughorn ended up being a lot easier than I thought he would. Just keeping in mind that he's a nice guy who has his own bet interest first helped me a lot I think, and I'm so happy that his overall affect (effect?) turned out well.

Ugh this review has left me feeling so happy and giddy but all pouty because I know there aren't many more of these left for Before They Fall :( We have two more BTF Friday night date edits left. How crazy is that? We're going to have to have a big cry session on the last ;(.

THANK YOU DANIEL ♥


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Review #7, by ValWitch21 

10th July 2013:
Right, I'm really sorry but I take away everything I might have said about Bellatrix previously. Somehow, you managed to make her come across as sort of human before, but now she just scares me and I wish Molly Weasley could turn up quickly.

Still zooming through reviews, I'm so sorry, but the children will be waking up from their nap soon and I want to be caught up so yes.

Ack, I can't help but feel Lily dabbling around with potions won't end well. I love how you tied in Slughorn's memory of Lily in the movies into the story and with this scene in particular; it made a lot of sense and anchored this story as my headcanon once and for all.



Author's Response: HAHAHA I'm sorry that I took away Bellatrix's sort of humanness :P!

Zoom away! These little windows into Val thoughts are my favorite ♥

I loved tying that petal scene into it, and I'm so excited that I got to be your head canon anchor! Woot!

You are the best, thank you ♥


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Review #8, by namkrow 

3rd July 2013:
Awesome! Been reading this for about a week now and I can't wait for the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! Just added another chapter!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Jami


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark 

1st July 2013:
I certainly wasn't bored with all the details about the Potion - so many people forget about the classes and magical aspects of Hogwarts life when they write fanfiction, so this chapter was really fun to read! It was kind of nice to get back into the whole 'school' vibe - and definitely nice to see Lily ready to move on from Alrek's attack.

Bellatrix's point of view, as always, was awesome to read and her characterization was perfect. I also quite liked the fact that you gave us some insight into how one actually becomes a Death Eater - the trials and tests they have to go through to insure their loyalty.

Something else I noticed (and remembered) in this chapter was your amazing descriptions and imagery, especially when Lily was waking up, and the sun was shining in. I don't know why this bit stood out to me so much...maybe because it's just another contributing factor to your epic writing schools. Have I mentioned how jealous I am of you?

Loved Belle's bluntness in this chapter and James's reaction was great. I also loved the line: ' The two continued to wrestle their way to the pitch, which was really the only manly way to finish off the conversation they’d just had' which really made me giggle!

It was nice to see a bit of the relationship between Lily and Slughorn and I was getting some pretty strong feels when Lily started to make that fishbowl gift for him.

Amazing, great, awesome, splendiferous and every other positive describing word chapter! (I'm not entirely sure that sentence made sentence. Ah well. What can you do?)

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Awww yay I'm happy the details didn't bore you! I can get so carried way sometimes, and then I remember that not everyone is as into those sort of details as me, haha.

I was sort of stumped at first with how exactly you'd become a death eater. Having to basically prove your loyalty seemed like the safest bet for those who want to join. The ones who are forced, well, I'm guessing they don't have to go through them, haha! I'm really excited you liked those details!

Courtney! I don't know how to answer these awesome compliments! I'm just so, so insanely happy that you liked the descriptions in this chapter ♥ You're probably dangerous for my ego :P!

Hahah the sentence might not make sense, but I still love it anyway &heats;

Thank you so much for another awesome review, Courtney! And for sticking with me through all of this ♥


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Review #10, by patronus_charm 

30th June 2013:
Hi Jami!

I liked learning more about how the new Death Eaters were welcomed into the group. I always wondered whether they were just left to look after themselves or whether there was a mentor system and I liked the fact that you included one. I think it made sense that she would care about Avery and Mulciber’s success in becoming a Death Eater, though I pity them for having her as a mentor.

I found Bellatrix’s remarks about Abigail interesting. Maybe she was glad that she dropped out because she might have been a usurper to the position of Voldemort’s ‘lover’ or whatever. Hmm, it’s interesting to muse over.

It was interesting to see Lily’s thoughts about Alrek’s attack. I found it fitting that after this length of time she would begin to get over the attack, though I can imagine it’s still going to wear away at her from time to time. I can understand why this attack affected her more than Bellatrix’s one, because the memories she had there and the fact it was just her dorm and, therefore, should have a sense of security about it.

The talk between James and Lily was fitting too, because they needed to sort of have it out with one another and now the air’s cleared we can have some more Jily fluff! I liked the talk for another reason too, as it showed them more as friends rather than a couple which was nice to see as they started off like that, and that easy companionship still hasn’t faded.

I loved this line ‘they weren’t as smart or resourceful as Ravenclaw’ as it’s so true about us ;) ♥ Ahaha this means another quidditch match is coming too, I wonder how you’re going to manage to skirt around writing as little as possible about it!

At times I prefer Sirius/Belle to James/Lily, though those times are very, very rare as I do not give up on my OTP that easily but this chapter was one of those times. Nothing even that remarkable happened, well unless you count Sirius sort of allowing PDA to happen, but they just seem so sweet and loved up I couldn’t help but sit there and aw over them.

I liked the scene between Slughorn and Lily. It was nice to see him care about her and actually see nice because in the HBP he annoyed me a bit, but I liked him here. I thought you wrote him really well and he was exactly how I imagined him to be with letting Lily make that potion. Fairy Water does sound interesting too, and I can’t wait to see what it does.

Ah I get what your tweet was about now and I really don’t think you went into too much detail. I actually found it all really interesting but, then again, I love biology so give me any animal related facts and I will be happy. I think they’re quite a neglected aspect of the wizarding world so learning more about them here was really interesting. I also really liked how you tied it in with Remus and I really do hope that it does work for him.

Another excellent chapter, Jami ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana ♥

I always wondered the same, and it seemed likely Voldemort would want to keep a close eye on his little servants without actually having to interact with them much. So I'm really happy you thought the same thing!

I'm never really sure what I think about Voldemort and Bellatrix. I don't think they have any sort of physical relationship, but I think she's very obsessed with this power and the way he keeps her at arms length, and that's convenient for him to use against her.

I love what you said about her sense of security in the dorm, and the fact that the attack happened there sort of broke that apart. You pick up on everything, missy!

I really want to keep that friendship there throughout, because I can't see them having been able to be there for one another through hiding and everything without having a solid friendship under their romance. If only it could have gone on for years and years, instead of being cut short ;(.

Hahaha of course you like that line, you cute Claw! I don't know though why JKR didn't make more of a rivalry between those two, because it seems likely with both houses being pretty full of confidence.

I'm so happy you didn't think my Merpeople lesson was going over the top, haha. I just had too much fun once I started making things up, and i figured since I was in Lily's PoV I could get away with it ;).

Thank you so much for another amazing review, and sticking through the story with me ♥ I wish you could see my face when I get a review from you ♥


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Review #11, by Morgana Tales 

30th June 2013:
Tears pricked my eyes when Lily was making the present for Slughorn. NO! The memories are rushing through my mind like they are on an endless cycle.

Something you might want know is coming next! My "friend" and I made up, and I was chatting with my friend on a chat room the school was done. (Yay! Done school with high marks. On to Middle school with my sister. BOO!) Well, she was telling me how mad she was at this "friend", so mad she wanted rip her head off... :S. I asked her why. This "friend" has been telling so many lies about me and my friends, but this was the worst. She called my friend a w***e, and said she watched p**n and read stuff along those lines.

Enough POO, this fanfiction is fantastic, it actually helps me think of stories in my head.(Even though they are not allowed on here, my one had too much child abuse, and if I take that out, I lose something great for the story.) Stories I write now are more mature.

It is now 1:02 am, so I better go talk to my good friend now. Boobye Jamie, I can't wait for the next book!

Author's Response: Hi lovely!!! Awww I'm sad I made your eyes prickle but still happy I made you a bit emotional, haha!

Oh geeze, that doesn't sound good :(. I'm sorry you're dealing with that! If you ever end up over on the forums, you can message me there and we can talk more about!

I'm so happy that this story has helped you think of ideas! That's such an awesome compliment ♥

It's just about one in the morning here, too! And time for bed! Goodnight, Morgan, and thank you for another amazing review!


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Review #12, by DracoGal 

29th June 2013:
The History of Magic lesson you provided (lol) wasnt too much. It's Lily's POV so of course there will be learning. It's great that she is starting to come around! Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Hahah I'm so happy you didn't mind my lesson :P. That's what I figure, that I can get away with that sort of thing in her PoV :P. And making up stuff about merpeople as too much fun to resist.

Thank you so much for this awesome review! The next chapter will be up Saturday ♥

Jami


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Review #13, by fizzingwizzbies 

29th June 2013:
Aw, Lily is so perfect here. What with the lily fish, 'her favourite werewolf', memories of Snape, and the general cuteness with James. Also love Bellatrix, I mean I know I shouldn't but, wow, you have got to respect that level of determination. You write her so well! Brilliant chapter as always!

Author's Response: Hi there ♥

I have a confession... I love Bellatrix too. I can't help it. She's just so messed up and awesome and I have too much fun exploring her, haha. And I'm so happy you like how I write her! Thank you!

Thank you so much for this awesome review! Reading and responding to it put a huge smile on my face!

Jami


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Review #14, by Owlpost68 

29th June 2013:
Oooo Ooo you're working on a sequel?? :D Awesome!
I found all the facts very interesting, thought you did switch from typing Merrows to Marrows when talking about the Merpeople.
I thought it so nicely ironic that the morning sun brought such different reactions to 2 very different people, you did that so well!
I love the interactions between Belle Sirius and James, that was fun. I just wish that you had done a bit more quidditch practice, like who was the replacement seeker? how did they find him so fast or was he a reserve? I guess that's the part I like to get particularly nerdy about lol.
Anyway, definitely liked this last bit with the potion/fish that was cool. I loved all the information, it's very lily like :)
Also liked your last sentence about her favorite werewolf lol :)
great job sweetie! I'm so happy to have such a great story to read! happy first review for this chappie :)

Author's Response: Hi lovely! Yes! The sequel will start a few weeks after the last chapter is posted :D.

Haha, thank you for pointing that out. I've fixed the typo :P. And I'm happy you liked the facts... I get carried away once in a while :P. Like... every other chapter. hahaha.

Aww I'm so happy you noticed that about the sun! I love when people pick up those small details, and now I think I'm going to have to reach through and hug you.

Quidditch will dominate the most of next chapter, so hopefully I'll make up for my skimming over practice in this. I try and do as little of that sport as possible :P.

Aww thank you so, so much for those sweet compliments. I wish I could explain how much it means to me, but I'm just going to sit here and smile like an idiot instead.

THANK YOU ♥ I hope you like the last few chapters!!


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