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Reading Reviews for Bad Blood, Chapter 2: Two
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ribbons 

11th August 2014:
Eeek! A story with a real, honest-to-goodness mystery plot! Could it be real? Do mine eyes decieve me?

No. No they do not.

You, my friend, have done amazing work. Bravo. Encore! Despite wanting to cry/punch/hug you right now, you're brilliant! Keep up the awesome work and try not to make me want to murder you before the end of the story.

Also: waiting on a Jily (that sounds so wrong...I'll roll with it) kiss before the end of this Agatha Christie Bonanza you've cooked up, okay?

That's settled...onward ho! To the next chaptah!

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Review #2, by CassiePotter 

22nd February 2014:
This chapter was even better than the first! I love the dynamic between the four boys, and I think you write them brilliantly! The conversation James overheard was really suspicious, and I can't wait to find out more! Now to chapter three! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: I love writing the Marauders, and it makes me happy to hear you think I write them well! Nice to see you so intrigued by my writing, it means a lot. :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by Courtney Dark 

9th November 2013:
Oh, this story is just so good!

I absolutely loved the mystery in this chapter - you seriously write mystery so, so well! I am more curious than ever to find out what's going on! I've got a feeling that those Slytherins didn't have anything to do with George Asher's death, but I don't really have any theories as to who did. And is Lily somehow connected to George? Did the same person who killed him write the threatening letter?

Hey! Maybe George wrote the letter and then killed himself out of guilt! (Yeah, that's my one terrible theory.)

In this chapter I also really enjoyed the conversation between the marauders because it just felt so natural and realistic - which is saying something, considering their topic of conversation!

I can't wait to find out what's going on!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Thank you for saying that I wrote mystery well! I'm a huge fan of mysteries and would love to write my own someday, so that means a lot. Marauder dialogue is also one of my favorite things to write, so thanks for that, too!

Hope you enjoyed guessing! Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #4, by ValWitch21 

17th July 2013:
Piece of broccoli here to review!

Heavens, I've been having way too many Marauder feels these days... Between this and rereading the Beth Bridger trilogy (insomnia struck again, woe is me, though at least I get a chance to read more of what you write), I really need to find some Next Gen for a change.

THE TENSION I THIS CHAPTER CAN I JUST. IT'S PRACTICALLY CRACKLING.

JAMES NOO STAY WITH LILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. AND ROSIER AND WILKES ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING. I DON'T LIKE IT.

(Okay so I know what they're really up to, but still. If I didn't I'd be blaming them. Also, the capslock spree from last night hasn't worn off, I'm so sorry.)



Author's Response: Call me a tease, but you're going to be having loads more Marauder feels -- don't worry! ♥ I clearly have been having loads of them, which is why I wrote this story in the first place. It was too hard to quit writing them cold turkey, so what better way than an AU murder mystery to continue on?

James is playing the hero! And unfortunately, I do think it clouded his judgement a few times in this story... but you know that, having finished it. ;) Capslock is always acceptable in these cases, and often the Marauders need it. Yell away, Val dear!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #5, by Tun Perak 

14th July 2013:
I love your story and i'm dying to know what happen next. So please...please upload the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review this story! I promise you won't have long to wait for the last chapter to be uploaded. :) It's been done for a while, so all that needs to happen is for my posting schedule to catch up!

I'm so glad you're enjoying this. ♥ It really does mean a lot to hear you say it, I promise! I hope you'll return for the final installment!


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Review #6, by MadiMalfoy 

3rd July 2013:
I'm back! :D

So, like, what!? Ach, I can't even explain anything because I'm fangirling too much! Such a phenomenal chapter, like always! I couldn't find a single thing wrong with it, except for the ridiculous amount of suspense and foreshadowing you decided was necessary! :P One thing I really liked was that you had some of the more important plot points obvious to the reader, even with them "hidden" in the foreshadowing, like the fact Lily is muggleborn and Asher probably was too. It's things like that that make me happy as a reader and a fellow author because it helps us out a bit so we're not just reading something without exercising our brains at the same time.

This suspense is going to kill me, but I'm going to be patient and wait for you to re-request for the next chapter so it can be more of a surprise for me! Oh, such a fantastic chapter, my words don't express my love of this story and your writing well enough. Phenomenal. xx
~MadiMalfoy

Author's Response: I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond to this review -- I know you like people to respond before requesting again, and I felt so bad when I realized I hadn't.

I'm so happy you found a lot of foreshadowing and suspense at work here; seeing as this is a mystery story, those are rather key things I'm trying to include. ;) I'm trying not to confuse people, too, so it's good to hear you're not confused! Writing a mystery is sort of akin to balancing on a tightrope, man. If that makes any sense at all!

Thank you so much for this review!! (And for your other one, of course, which I'll respond to in just a little bit!) ♥ I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and it really does mean so much to me that you're willing to keep reviewing for me.


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Review #7, by Lady Asphodel 

30th June 2013:
Dang it, another cliff hanger.

You want to have a love/hate relationship with your readers don't you. *heartbreak* Hm? 'Cuz you have one with me now.


With all kidding aside... Great job with this awesome chapter. I'm glad to see some suspects and how the tension and suspension is growing. :D
And I definitely love seeing this protective side of James over Lily and the interaction between the Marauders.

It saddens me though that they will die in the future (And I mean canon wise, not in your fan fic).


Any who... Look forward to reading more! ^_^


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Cliffhangers are the name of the game in this story, I am afraid... :) I'm about to post chapter three, and I think the story's biggest hang comes in that one. It is a mystery story, after all! And love/hate relationships are some of the best writer/reader relationships. Glad you know we've hit that point! ♥

Thank you so much though, seriously, for returning and having a look at chapter 2. :D The mystery is building! Writing the Marauders in a whodunit setting like this one has been loads of fun, and I'd like to do it again, I think. Marauders is definitely turning out to be my favorite era to write, although it all does end very sadly. :(

Chapter three's on its way, I promise! And I honestly can't wait to see what you think of that one -- you'll see why. :D Thank you for coming back and leaving another lovely review on this story for me!


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Review #8, by MidnightBlue_x 

28th June 2013:
Only time will tell? LIES! I know you've got this all planned out in that beautiful little (okay, it's not little but its much more dramatic this one) brain of yours. I know how calculating and intelligent you are and so I'm watching you. My little theory is that it isn't Severus, personally I think you love him far too much to portray him this way. I may be wrong though, who knows with you?

Anyway, as usual, I adore this story much more than I really should so please update soon otherwise I'm going to be incredibly sad!

I love you muchly,
Ely.

Author's Response: Oh, I've definitely got it all planned out. ;) And it's all written as of yesterday, in fact! I'm scared it won't live up to some of the brilliant reader theories, but what can you do? I can't say whether or not your own theory's right, either... Because if time won't tell for me, then it must for you! (Did that make any sense at all?)

There will be an update of this story before too long, I'm quite sure. And I really hope you enjoy it! Much lurve! ♥


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Review #9, by patronus_charm 

26th June 2013:
Ah Amanda beat me to the first review, I guess I can console myself with having the first review on Breaking Even! I really loved this chapter it reminded me of the Chamber of Secrets a lot with them sneaking out under the cloak when theyíre meant to be shut up in the tower and the nod towards Myrtle completed it perfectly!

Ooh another thing I really loved in this chapter was your dialogue and how you gave each character a little accent or made them use slang as it added so much to the chapter overall. I loved the conversation between the Marauders at the beginning of this chapter because even though it was about a serious topic it still made me crack up!

When Peter talked about George maybe killing himself I had been thinking that too. Maybe this is just a giant ruse from George who wanted to leave in style and made the whole of Hogwarts terrified. Or perhaps he faked his own death is hiding out in the room of requirement and used complex magic to make a mannequin of his body which looked like his own and sent that letter to Lily because she annoyed him. Now heís pretending to be an evil dictator and stroking his white cat. That is definitely what has happened!

I really liked the news article in this chapter it added some level of authenticity to it, and now Iíve got a thick Yorkshire accent going round and round in my head and Iím tempted to speak in it. Maybe that disturbance is related to the possible murder of George. Gah! This is why me and AU donít always get along as it doesnít stick to the bounds of canon so I canít predict whatís going to happen.

I adored the scene with Lily and James. Lilyís reaction was perfect as I imagined her to be scared and worried considering she may be about to die. Then the way James swooped in and tried to protect was great. Ooh another theory! Maybe Lily just got really annoyed with all of Jamesí requests to ask her out and did all of this so he would see what a danger she was and left her alone. That one does seem quite likely.

Yay for the cameo from Violet and the Fat Lady Ė I loved that!

Iíve learned from the Beth Bridger trilogy to never take anything youíve written for face value and thatís why I believe that the scene with Rosier and Wilkes was just a Red Herring. It seemed too obvious and I doubt any of them could kill anyone. Iím going to go and develop my theories and find out whether George is actually dead or not and who started this thing in the first place!

Another amazing chapter, Rachel!

-Kiana

Author's Response: You're very good at having the first review on Breaking Even, Kiana! And no matter what review number you are, the fact you keep returning at all makes me incredibly happy. There was definitely an intentional Chamber of Secrets vibe here, too, and I think it's neat you made that comparison!

I don't know why, but a lot of my character speak different -- and I don't know if you remember, but Wilkes gets a spitty way of talking in the Sneth books, too, so I just decided to adopt it here as well. Who knows how he really talks? (P.S. Is that a Yorkshire accent, then, in the paper? I never know, never can pick out which accent belongs where. I'm only now getting the basics of recognizing the Scottish and Irish accents. Ah, to be British instead of American!)

I can't tell you for sure whether or not George really did commit suicide, of course, but it's definitely one of the possibilities people SHOULD consider. -wiggling of eyebrows- He could be lording it over the Room of Requirement right now, for sure! That's an awesome theory! :D

I think Lily's a lot stronger than a lot of Marauders era writers portray her, and even though I like the James aspect of James/Lily best, she's very distinct in my mind, and I'm glad once again that my vision of her seems to line up with your own personal one.

Nothing should EVER be taken at face value, and especially a story like this, where I'm trying to keep the truth from people as much as possible. ♥ I'm just about to post the third chapter now, and you'll get much more of an inkling of how things are set to wind up in that one!

Thank you for reviewing, as always!! You're seriously one of my best reviewers -- I truly can't tell you how much all of your comments and noticing of things makes my day. :)


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Review #10, by M'lady Mungo of Tittington or Whatever it Was 

25th June 2013:
-puts on goggles-

~*~!!!NEW THEORIES!!!~*~

1.) Death -- like from The Tale of Three Brothers.
2.) The Grim, personified.
3.) Lucius. I'm pretty sure he graduated already but that dude likes to hang out in whatever pockets are lined the best, and I can see him sneaking in to stuff nonsense into young Slytherin minds.

I am pretty sure whoever did it got into the Gryffindor common room via Floo. Which rules out any Gryffindors because they wouldn't need to do that. My reasoning is that the letter was left on the mantelpiece above the fire.

WAIT

I take that back. It was James and his Invisibility Cloak. He created this situation purely so that he could save Lily because he has a hero complex and thinks that if he comes to her rescue she'll ~see him in a new light~

WAIT

It was a house-elf! They can go anywhere. And they can be Imperiused. Maybe it's Kreacher.

IT WAS SEVERUS.

Look at the Marauders Map, James! And then you'll see. Unless they haven't made it yet. In which case, THEY SHOULD REALLY GET ON THAT PRONTO.

I feel like there's someone I'm overlooking...let's see. We have the professors; I don't think it was any of them. We have Hagrid, possibly Filch or whoever was the caretaker, the librarian, the matron...

I GIVE UP.

Is it Voldemort?? Aghh! With the developments in this chapter it is either a Death Eater infiltrating Hogwarts and doing all this, or someone pretending to be a Death Eater, who just wants them to take the blame, and them being muggle-born has little to do with it - which is very clever, really - or you're just tossing all this Rosier business in to distract us. I don't think any sixth-year Slytherins were behind this, though, since some of them thought Asher dying was convenient and like cheerful happenstance.

MOAR.

Author's Response: I LOVE ALL YOUR THEORIES. ♥ And obviously cannot tell you if you've guessed it or not, of course. I do stand by my earlier statement that because you've read more of my writing than anyone, you have the best chances of figuring it out... but have you done it yet? You'll never know! (That's not true. You'll definitely know by the end. But right now, everything's a haze. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL.)

They definitely haven't made the Marauder's Map at this point, either -- well. I cannot even remember if it's canon or not anymore, but in ITB they definitely made the map in their seventh year, and that's the logic I stuck with here. They're in their sixth year, so no map for them. And if that's not right, it's AU, I can take liberties, and I will cloak all my errors in swathes of suspicion and divert blame. That is the go-to method for writing mystery stories: Make everything nonsense and then justify your decisions. Works like a charm.

Rosier and Wilkes do make an appearance in a future chapter, I will tell you that! They are James's prime suspects, and that's important. :) All will be revealed in the meantime, and you'll get no hints from me. ♥

THIS REVIEW WAS TEH SUCK, BUT I LOVE YOUR THEORIES AND YOUR SUSPECT LIST ANYWAY. I have confidence you'll figure it out! Thank you for being the best, and reading all my stuff, and letting me talk in your general direction, and I say this a lot, but truly. Thank you.


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Review #11, by academica 

25th June 2013:
Here's hoping I snag first review on chapter two!

I liked how you came down from the meta-event of George Asher's death announcement and explored how each of the four Marauders reacted to the news on a more detailed level. James was nice in his solemn attitude, especially contrasted against Sirius's eagerness to jump in and solve the mystery. I also liked how Peter wasn't a total idiot and actually had some things to add to the conversation. Remus was sort of interesting--he had this keep-calm attitude that almost seemed a little casual at times. I think he's probably more worried than he lets on, at least on the inside.

Of course, leave it to James to strap on his cloak and go do what he can to help protect poor Lily! Again, nice contrast with his brave actions and the sense there at the end that he might be in over his head and not really know what to do after all. I also liked how he was tempted to just take both of them out--it reminded me of the same secret way in which Lily received her letter and Asher was more than likely killed, but this time it would be more of a defensive move. I am happy that he decided against making such a reckless choice.

I'm definitely curious about the dungeon passage and what Rosier and Wilkes have up their sleeves (quite literally, I'd imagine...). It's actually awesome that this is just a short little story because maybe then I can actually keep up, and I'm really excited to see the mystery unfold :)

Great second chapter, Rachel!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Confession time: When I write mysteries (and it admittedly isn't something I do very often, although I'd like to do it more), they play out chapter-by-chapter in my head VERY much like TV shows. The ending of every chapter is the kicker before a commercial break, trying to entice people back in, and the beginning of a new one's the slight recap back into the swing of the show. I don't know why mysteries come out this way when everything else I write doesn't, but there's the explanation. ;) That all being said, I'm glad you liked it! I think the thing I love best about the Marauders is the fact that four completely different boys formed such a lasting friendship, and I want to show their differences and their similarities equally. They all take the news of George Asher's death differently, too.

And James is off playing the hero again! He wants so badly to help, and the somewhat painful thing in this part of the story is that he really doesn't know how. You'll see more about Rosier and Wilkes in the upcoming chapters, definitely. :) It all comes into play later on!

Three chapters to go! Thank you so much for such awesome reviews on it thus far, too -- I'm so happy to see you reading something of mine again. ♥ It's been far too long since I've gone by your author's page in return! So glad you're enjoying it!!


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