18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

21st April 2017:
I don't like the idea of Lily referring to herself as a "mudblood" when that's the reason she broke up with Severus for calling her that.

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Review #2, by Sushmita 

20th April 2017:
Typos to fix "an odd kind if disbelief filling them", "me to follower her"

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Review #3, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

27th January 2015:
She was a flame all wrapped together, with those blue eyes smoldering like steel that had been heated beyond all reason.

That describes Belle perfectly in one sentence. Brava!

I got lost in this chapter but I can tell you there were plenty of quotes I wanted to analyze and discuss with you when Remus and Lily started to talk. I just couldn’t bear to rip my eyes from the screen and stop reading. Wow. Lily really is an understanding person and I feel like you not only touched upon that but you also revealed more of their relationship as well. We know Lily didn’t judge Remus when she found out he was a werewolf. For her to sit there and ask questions (even if he didn’t want to fully answer them or say the word that he is) and actively listen to his pain when he’s the one supposed to be comforting her was…well, it was bitter sweet in a way.

Remus understands actions that don’t necessarily make sense but I think he’s still able to see the good in people. I think they compliment each other well because they’re very similar they just grew up in different ways and have experienced loss and pain differently as well but they balance each other out.

I cried a little. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Their conversation was just so fluid and real it got me.

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Review #4, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

After all that you've put me through emotionally with the last few chapters, I'm kind of glad that this one was a bit slower and less action-packed, because I'm not sure how much of it I'd be able to take! Accepting and Understanding was a great chapter title for what went on here, though.

I'm so glad that Lily's slowly recovering from her ordeal, and I liked the fact that you showed how it had not only affected her, but Sirius as well, and because of that he was now being even more protective of Belle. The meeting with Dumbledore and McGonagall was well written and I loved the fact that all of the friends turned up, even though they hadn't all been invited. The news of Alrek's death - and Professor Genov's - was shocking for them and it's showing them how far reaching this war is, and the extent to which the enemy are prepared to go.

I liked the fact that James has realised he needs to give Lily her space, even if he doesn't want to have to leave her alone. Sirius isn't quite there yet and I'm not sure he will be because of his personality. The talk between Remus and Lily was sweet, though, and I think that he was the best person to go and talk to her after all of it. Another fantastic chapter!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

18th July 2013:
Hi again Jami!

Oh, I've told you so many times but I'm going to say it again - the friendships you've created here are so solid. Sure they've got different levels of closeness with each other but all together they're a whole, just as Sirius put it. Even if he was nearly as bad as a woman haha!!

I thought you wrote the reactions of the group well with respect to the news they were given. It can't be easy finding out somebody that tried to murder you/your best friend is dead. The mix of emotions - relief? Feeling a little bit glad? Feelin guilty that your a little bit glad? With all the different character who had to take the news in as well that must have been especially difficult.

I love the clear disagreement between mcgonagall and Dumbledore too. It's Ben goin on a few chapters now - Dumbledore certainly wants to get the group involved in the order and mcgonagall is fiercely protecting her students. It gives a really good dynamic between the two we don't always get to see.

The little argument between Sirius and James was so well placed and done. You can really see how much it's killing James to let her go but he's mature enough to realise lily needs that bit of space no matter the danger. It's little details like this that really make them the couple we know they're going to be.

I've already mentioned people's reactions to the Alrek news but Lily's had to be the hardest to write in sure. I think it was a good decision having Remus come and talk to her. He's such a good listener and you allowed him to have that same feeling towards his attacker from when he was young. It's something I've not seen that much of to be honest but you wrote it beautifully. It was strange - i must have gotten quite tense reading the first part of the chapter as Dumbledore spoke and James and Sirius got angry but as lupin spoke I felt myself calm down and feel better - exactly as lily clearly does. You're too good at this for you own goo Jami!!

I didn't notice any mistakes or anything to offer CC on so apologies for that but this was another excellent chapter and a much needed slower one to fill in some blanks :)

Lauren :)

Author's Response: HI PRETTY FACE!

I feel like i wanted to bring a lot of things to head in this chapter, and you're review makes me feel like I accomplished that! The Professors disagreements, the tension between everyone and James and Sirius finally taking that out on one another, Lily and Remus finally talking... i just wanted it to all sort of come out here.

Awww Lauren! I'm so happy you think I wrote the transition and Lily's reaction well, and if you keep saying such nice stuff to me I'm going to get a big head :P! I was really nervous during Remus's section with Lily because I wanted it to be just right, you know?

And I'm so relieved you liked the slower fill in the blanks sort of chapter. Some people weren't crazy about it, but I though it was necessary.

THANK YOU Lauren! ♥

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Review #6, by ValWitch21 

10th July 2013:
So, like I told you, this is you and Marauders. Of course it was going to be good!

I don't think we've seen the group as a whole in a while, so this was lovely, especially the Remus/Lily discussion at the end (and yes, I'm a bit of an in-the-closet shipper of those two).

My favourite part of this though was Peter's question, because he's obviously afraid and doesn't understand the Death Eaters approach, which makes me wonder why he joined their ranks afterwards. So maybe not favourite part, but definitely most thought-inducing one!

I've almost caught up, hooray ♥

Author's Response: I could totally see a Remus/Lily Sirius/Lily working out if it involved James dying and not Lily or Harry. Grief does really odd things, and i think leaning on the people that were so close to James and her both, it wouldn't be too much of a jump for one of those friendships to turn into more. And if James was dead, who else could he want to better take care of is family than one of his best mates?

You are making me smile way too much with all this amazing review showering!

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Review #7, by Courtney Dark 

1st July 2013:
Oooh, it was nice to read a little bit of Sirius's point of view, as I always enjoy getting a glimpse into his thoughts. I think he is definitely the mot temperamental out of all the friends, so it's nice to see his reactions. By the way, I just have to say that it's awesome how you make each persons 'voice' when we're reading from their point of view so different! Sirius, especially, has a very unique voice - and not just because of all the teen angst and swearing! :)

The fight between James and Sirius was unexpected, but I have to admit, I quite enjoyed it - at times, they kind of remind me quite a bit of Harry and Ron. And I love how protective Sirius was, of both Lily and Belle! I'm definitely hoping to see a bit more Belle/Sirius action in the next few chapters!

Aw, I adore Remus! And I absolutely loved the Remus and Lily moment - their friendship is so perfect. The whole time I was reading their conversation, I just had this big soppy grin on my dace, probably making me look like a bit of an idiot. In fact, often when I'm reading your amazing story I get odd and overly dramatic looks on my face. The people around my probably think I'm barmy.

Anyway, I was feeling very sorry for Remus in this chapter and just wanted to give him a giant hug.

Great chapter Jami!


Author's Response: Hi Courtney! I agree with thinking he's the most temperamental. that's probably why I love writing from his eyes so much :P

Aww I'm excited that I'm able to get their voices across. I worry about that, but Sirius is easier than the rest because of his colorful language :P.

Boys can get so mopey, and they won't even admit it. I hadn't really planned on those two taking their tension out on one another, but then it sort of just slid itself in! haha!

HAHA I wish I could be sorry if people around you think you're barmy, but I'm too excited that my story makes you smile to be sorry :P. Your comments always make me feel so good. Thank you so much for another absolutely awesome review ♥


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Review #8, by True Author 

27th June 2013:
Hi Jami! :D
It was nice to come back after a whole week of school projects and band rehearsals. =] Actually, I was planning to read and review this chapter as soon as you posted it and I did make time for HPFF on Saturday, but the chapter wasn't there as I'm one day ahead of you. =[ Anyways I'm here with a review now!

Aah, so many emotions mixed up in one chapter! I'm head over heels in love with Remus and Sirirus/ Belle right now. They're just so... adorable. Its hard to accept that they aren't going to end up together, isn't it? =[

The fight was unexpected, but it did fit well. It shows us the emotional side of Sirius Black, the tough man. It breaks my heart to see how much he cares for his friends. I wish I was Belle... ;)

Lovely chapter! :D

P.S.- You can call me Vini. That's what my friends call me. =]

Author's Response: Hi darling! Aww that was so sweet of you to make time! I hate the time differences, haha!

I've ended up being a lot more in love with writing Belle than I originally thought, and it makes me so happy that you like her and Sirius ♥

I think something needed to break with all the tension, and James and Sirius seemed like the perfect two for it to break on ;). Aww haha, you know, I've wished I was Belle quite a few times, too ;).

I'm so happy you liked this chapter, and thank you for stopping by and reviewing ♥ You always make me smile so much, and the second I figure out how to reach through a computer, you're going to get a million squeezes!

♥ Jami

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Review #9, by soufflegirl99 

25th June 2013:
Okay, before I start, I just want to say how amazing and awesome this story is, and how it's probably the best Jily I've ever read, and I can say with confidence that quite a few people agree with me about that.

I loveee your portrayal of Remus - he's such an awesome cute character, and you're characterisation of him is just the best! The way he can reason with anybody reminded me of the relationship between him and Harry in the fifth book, and how like Sirius/James Harry was being. I think it was so moving the way you wrote about how Remus got turned, and it found it really touching, and I totally didn't have tears in my eyes...

The argument between James and Sirius was really unexpected and upredictible! But I think it was quite important, and showed how Sirius is actually really caring, not just for Belle, but towards all his friends. And I don't really have a side, as I agree with both of them - James should be a bit more considerate and keep a close eye on her, but he can't exactly always be next to her. I think it was really funny how Belle is sassy 24/7, and, on a side note, her and Sirius are unbelievabley cute together!

Eek! Can't believe there are only 4/5 chapters to go! I'm really sad about that, but so excited for the sequel! It's going to be awesome (but no pressure) :D Overall, another lovely and brilliant chapter, and I was pleased the pace was slower after last time's heart wrenching action one!

Sophie :D

Author's Response: Hi lovely face! How am I supposed to reply to the sweetness of that comment? I try so hard to hope that people are enjoying this and not convince myself they're just reading it to be nice, so the fact that you think it's a good Jily seriously just makes me want to hug you ♥

I loved that Sirius and James's argument showed how caring Sirius really is. I agree with them both too. I can't imagine being in either of the positions, but I'm happy you could see both sides of it! And that you think Belle and Sirius are cute together! I think so too, but I'm a little biased :P!

Awww haha you are so sweet Sophie. I hope the sequel does the kind of justice I want to their lives after Hogwarts, and the only reason I have the courage to write it is because of insanely sweet reviewers like you ♥

Thank you so much for another amazing review, Sophie! I love seeing you here. You spoil me!

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Review #10, by CambAngst 

24th June 2013:
OK, a day late (several, actually) and a dollar short (but who's counting?), here I am, ready to review Jami's new chapter! Seriously, vacations are such free time killers!

I wasn't sure about using Sirius as the narrative voice for the first section, but the more I read, the more I liked it. I feel like James and Lily are probably still pretty shell-shocked at this point, a thought that would seem to be corroborated by their behavior later in the chapter. So I'm not sure how insightful either of them could be during the conversation with Dumbledore and still have it sound natural. Also, Sirius brings a certain combination of barely-contained anger and debilitating fear of loss that went really well with the subject matter. From the very beginning, you can almost feel him trying to pull his friends closer -- physically in Belle's case and emotionally for the others. You write him with such awesome complexity!

The message had only requested Lily and James, and Sirius smirked to himself as he looked around the room; all eight of them were spread about. -- Yep, those are Jami's Marauders. They're like the Eight Musketeers of Harry Potter fan fiction.

The crazy thing is I'm with Sirius. I don't know how I would have reacted if Alrek had somehow managed to make it out alive. I guess there was a very real possibility that Voldemort would have simply ordered the Death Eaters to dispose of his body, which would have left everyone uncertain about his fate. I like your resolution better.

That was Lily. Keeping herself together for as long as possible before reality finally set in. -- This line was perfect, and chock full of sad feels.

And Alice and Remus... Sirius knew they'd probably all have killed each other dozens of times if it wasn't for them. They were soothers. -- This chapter has something for everyone. I love the way that Sirius goes through each member of the group and understands the role they play in making the whole stronger. Good Lord, Black, Sirius thought, shaking his head. You're worse than a girl with all that rubbish going on inside your head. -- Well, he said it, I didn't. ;)

Once again, you did a terrific job of keeping Minnie and Albus in key. That's becoming a secondary stock in trade for you, you know? If you get tired of writing Marauders, you always have the two of them to fall back on. :p The interplay between the two of them was brilliantly complicated and subtle. I can only imagine the conversations they had before and after sitting with James, Lily and their friends. Dumbledore's stump speech for the Order must have nearly sent McGonagall over the edge. I bet she wanted to throw something at him, and that's funny and sad all at once. Dumbledore's deductive process was quite brilliant on your part. I felt like it all held together really well.

"Alone, we're simply inconveniences in their greater plan to either be disposed of or used. Together, we create a force unlike anything they can understand. One built on the need to help each other, constructed with friendship and love." -- You tell 'em, Albus! Oh, wait. That's the sort of talk that gets them all killed. Sigh. Nothing is ever simple with this lot, is it?

The conversation-bordering-on-fight between James and Sirius was a good way to cap off a very tense section of the chapter. Sirius has a good point. James has a good point. There aren't any easy answers here. But the way that Remus is able to step in and defuse the situation was perfect for everyone involved, especially him.

Poor Lily seems to hit a really low point right before her conversation with Remus. Her experience with Alrek forces her to question everything about her life, even the things that she takes pride in like her studies and being appointed Head Girl. It made me feel very sorry for her. Such a terrible thing to have to deal with.

Gah! You make Remus so amazingly insightful. The parallels that he was able to draw between his own situation and Lily's were perfect. Not only did he open up to her, he basically held himself out like a mirror, helping her to understand how some of her feelings were perfectly normal while others were ultimately self-defeating. The poor guy has been through so much. I'm so happy that he's out in the open now where Lily is concerned. I feel like this is going to be a really good thing for both of them, although I think you've created quite a challenge for yourself down the road. I'm really interested to see how you manage to set up events so that Lily could believe there was a possibility that Remus was betraying the group to the Death Eaters.

Terrific chapter! I absolutely loved the change of pace after the frenetic energy of the previous one. The story feels like it's careening madly toward an end, with events rapidly converging. Can't wait to see how you pull it all together!

Author's Response: Dan!! Okay, review is posted in a separate pages document. I have a drink next to me, and a puppy cuddled on top of me. review response time!!!

Isn't it crazy how you take time off work, you pack up, you get everything in order, then spend a week or more exhausted without as much as a free second to blink your eyes? Don't get me wrong, vacations are the best, but far from relaxing most the time :P!

James and Lily still being shell shocked were exactly the reason Sirius felt best for it. He had to see enough, and is passionate enough, that he still opted for an intense narration, but he wasn't quite as out of it as Lily and James.

Haahhaha 'Jami's Marauders' in a sentence together just gave me all sorts of smiles. Can you believe how far we've come with this naughty group? Part of me wanted to keep Alrek alive at the last minute in case I wanted to bring him back next book, but it just wouldn't fit. I don't think James or Sirius... or Belle... or Alice.. or any of them would have rested until he was caught. I just have this image of all of them tearing through the skies on this never ending man hunt, and the group spending their last few years in the air hunting for Alrek didn't fit JKR's canon quite so well :P! It was nice to tie up his story in a way, though oddly sad to know I wouldn't be able to use him anymore. haha.

Get tired of writing Marauders?! Don't utter such terrible words! :P But it's such an awesome compliment that you think I'm getting a handle on them. They're still scary, Minerva less so than Albus. No one can be as scary as Albus, haha.

When you mentioned that being the sort of talk that gets them killed -- YES. And it's so sad because he's so passionate about it, when they all sign up they'll all be passionate about it and they want so much to end it all and UGH. Why can't they just see it through, Dan? Why :(.

Dan Dan Dan. you know me and my spreadsheets and planning! Although their idea of Remus, or Sirius's idea, being the possible traitor will end up being more circumstantial than anything. Is it normal that I want to put them all in time out and give the a big long lecture about trusting one another? Even in Peter's case, because by the time we get there, his actions are just as much about not trusting them as anyone else's. Okay, zips lips. UGH. THERE ARE TOO MANY SADS.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! The next one has a fun tie in to canon that I hope you like! Five more chapters!

Thank you again so much for always making me excited about this story ♥

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Review #11, by MissMdsty 

22nd June 2013:
So, Nobel Prize winner William Faulkner said that a writer's duty is to connect. To put something into the world that nobody has seen or heard but that speaks to the reader's soul and relates to their heart.

In other words, this chapter right here!

We've all had people who did us wrong, whether on purpose or by accident and we've all wanted bad things to happen to bad people. Yet, you touched on something here. What do we feel when said bad thing happens to said bad person.

Remus is the only one out of the group that could accomplish that. More than the epic and tragic story of Lily and James Potter, for me this is a coming of age story. As I've said in my last review, these kids have grown up and they came so far. And I mean everybody. Belle, who has opened up and let the people she loves in, rather than shutting them out. Remus, who despite having every reason to be bitter and angry, draws the teachings of his trials and uses them to help others, Alice and Frank, who are already fighting for what they believe in. I'm sad that this first book is coming to an end... You can tell that I'm being melancholic, but I'm so excited for the next leg of the journey and to see what you have cooked up for them!

Amazing chapter my dear, I loved every word of it! *huggles*

Author's Response: Ral! You are too sweet. You're making me all puddly!

I don't even know how to respond to this except to sit here and feel all fuzzy and all sadsy at the same time. I can't even believe that you stuck around for this long, but wouldn't trade having you for a reader for anything. Getting your opinions on the chapters is so much fun for me, and I'm so happy that you liked this one as well!

Thank you so much you beautiful person for filling me with warm fuzzies!

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Review #12, by Admirer 

19th June 2013:
I started reading this awesome creation about yours about a week ago and I've to say this - "It is minblowing, amazing & Fantastic!"
Keep up with the Good work and please please please don't stop after 4-5 chapters... Pleaseee
I tried reading many fanfic but none are as good
All The best

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, this comment has absolutely made my day! Thank you so much for taking the time to review ♥!

Don't worry! After 4 or 5 chapters it's only the end of this book. Then the second one, Into the Darkness, starts! That one will show their lives post graduation, through the Order, into parenthood and all of that :D!

I'm so excited you're enjoying this, and thank you again for taking the time to tell me so ♥!


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Review #13, by patronus_charm 

17th June 2013:
Hi Jami!

I always enjoy Sirius’ POVs because they always surprise me in the variation in his thoughts. I always imagined him to be the most volatile in moods out of all the Marauders so it was nice to see it her. The thoughts he had about Belle were really sweet because we haven’t seen much of them recently due to all the Alrek drama so I liked reading it here :’)

I think the sweetest thing was when he was thinking about finding Lily. I’ve noticed that Sirius doesn’t often open up to his emotions so seeing him do it was really lovely and it made me aw about how much he cared about her. It also highlighted what the attack was like from an observer’s perspective which was really interesting.

His thoughts about how he and all his friends all fit together and serve a purpose were really great too. It is true though, you’ve given them all really unique characters and they merge together to form this group of people who love one another so much. It was seen in Sirius’ thoughts and it made me all fuzzy again!

Haha this line cracked me up ‘“What did I tell you,” the woman said, her Scottish accent thick. “You invite one or two of them, and they’re all sure to follow.”’ It was so like McGonagall with her disguised humour, accent and secret love for them all.

It was interesting seeing the aftermath of the attack from their perspective, because we of course know what happened to Alrek but seeing it from their eyes created a nice change. The swearing from Sirius there was a great input. For teenage boys they’ve been quite well-spoken but the inclusion of it in this chapter worked really well as it showed their anger about being ignored and their view not being taken seriously enough.

One nice touch was the line from Alice thinking what they did to Alrek as being barbaric. I agreed to when it happened because though he was an incredibly evil Death Eater who tried to kill Lily, he was still a boy at the same time and it saddened me to see that someone so young could be so evil. Out of all of them, I would thought Alice would be the most likely to feel like that and it was nice to see it proved correct.

You showed Lily’s maturity really well in this chapter too, Jami. I think it was the remark about her not wanting him just to be gone and I almost picked up on this sense of emptiness from him being gone in her life which was quite odd, but fitting at the same time because at one point they were friends. I feel so bad for her because her life isn’t going great at the moment, but that’s the problem with reading Marauders stories as their lives always seem to be going downhill :P

That conversation with Remus ♥ I don’t think I’ve ever read a story where someone has such a deep discussion with Remus about his lycanthropy so it was a wonderful surprise to see it here. I thought his reaction to being bitten was wonderful because he always had this sense of understanding and never self-pitied, well in my mind he did, so it was really great to see that he had almost accepted what Greyback had done and that he wasn’t going to continue to fight it.

I spotted this line ‘The article in the daily prophet’ I tend to see the Daily Prophet capitalised as opposed to it being lowercase so I thought I should point it out :)

Aha I had seen Dan’s Twitter updates about his road trip but I didn’t connect with the fact that there would be no chapter. Oh well, everyone needs a break :P Only five chapters away though, that is scary and exciting because I can’t wait to see them as adults! Another great chapter, Jami :D


Author's Response: Kiana! ♥

Not having much Belle Sirius feels lately was exactly what I was thinking about when doing it from his PoV. I swear, sometimes having such a big group can be such a pain. Especially when I want them all to be heavily involved.

I'm so excited that you liked his Lily thoughts. In my head, he and Lily have a special sort of friendship. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that they both care so much about James, and Lily becomes more of the family Sirius never really had. And they all should have gotten to grow old together and wahhh now I'm getting all feelsy!

Hehe aww yay I'm happy you liked that line! Sometimes she can be so much fun to write other times it feels like pulling teeth!

I'm sure I've vented to you with how much I don't like Remus just out and telling her. I wanted her to realize it first like she did back in the hospital wing, him to know that she knows, and then have a real reason to finally talk about it with one another. I think that they can both really connect over the fact that they were targeted for no reason, and neither got to see justice. Sure, Alrek is dead, but Lily will never know if even tiny bit of him regretted what he tried doing to her. And both of them are just such good people, that I think feeling how they do about Alrek and Greyback is hard. Wow, sorry about that ramble. Haha.

Ahh it should be capitalized, thank you!!

I CAN'T WAIT to write them as adults. Kiana I'm just SO excited for book two! I want to hug you just because!

Thank you so much for leaving me another absolutely amazing review. You turned my grumpy mood into such a happy one with this ♥

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Review #14, by fizzingwizzbies 

16th June 2013:
Love this story so much so far! The Lily, Remus moment was just perfect. I love their friendship! There needs to be more Remus!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: There definitely needs to be more Remus! We'll see a lot more of him in book two :D!

I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're enjoying this, and thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review! It really put such a huge smile on my face!

The next chapter will be up in about a week and a half. Usually I do Saturday updates, but my beta reader is out of town so I've decided to push it back to the following Saturday :).

Thank you again for this awesome review ♥

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Review #15, by Morgana Tales 

16th June 2013:
Holy cow, I forgot that it was Saturday, and now it is technically Sunday. I am so sorry that I didn't review straight away, but that is because I didn't read it when you first posted it. I have been going through emotional stress, and I have been sad recently. (I got in a fight with a "friend" and we are no longer friends.) So this chapter brought a smile to my face. Thank you, Jamie for giving me something to do today that is Harry Potter related. All I have done today was watch Iron Man 3, and drool over the original Pokemon episodes. So thank you for everything, and I can't wait for the next chapter. o3o

Author's Response: Hi Morgan!! I'm keeping my eyes open around the forums to see if you end up making an account ;)!!

Oh gosh don't be sorry at all! I'm just happy to see you here! I'm so sorry you've been dealing with some not so awesome stuff. Fake friends are the worse, but I hope things are getting a bit better! And I'm really happy that I was able to make you smile with this chapter ♥

Thank YOU for always being such an awesome person and leaving your lovely reviews ♥ I hope everything with your friends works out okay!

♥ Jami

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Review #16, by DracoGal 

15th June 2013:
I loved how you included a moment with Remus. There aren't too much of those. :) also I loved in the beginning how you made it Sirius's thoughts. Can't wait to see what's up next! :)

Author's Response: Hi my dear!! I'm so happy you liked the Remus moment! It made me feel a bit fuzzy myself ♥

Aww yay! I wondered if I made the wrong choice with doing the first section from Sirius PoV, but knowing you liked it makes me feel a lot better about it!

Thank you so much for another awesome review ♥

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Review #17, by Owlpost68 

15th June 2013:
It did feel a little blah, but that would happen after something THAT traumatic. I'm glad she feels a little better after talking to Remus.
I'm not really sure about Sirius analyzing that much in his head though.. That part seemed a little too long, not that he wouldn't do it at all, but maybe a little less. Plus, why would Dumbledore and McGonagall make them wait that long anyway? Just a thought.
I really like that you had James try and act normal and give Lily the freedom to go on her own. She wouldn't get better if she felt sheltered all the time.
Great job, this seemed like this was harder for you to write, but you did very well considering how tricky you've been making the plot!

Author's Response: Hi there! Yeah, I think I felt like anything after the last one would be a bit slow. And now that we're down to five chapters, things are going to start building back up so I did want to give everyone a bit of a break :)!

Haha, I totally got carried away with Sirius. I don't think they were waiting for more than two or three minutes, but being in Sirius's head while he did his little analyzing probably made it feel longer. He's so cute when he's thoughtful though; I didn't want to pull myself away :P!

I'm so happy you liked how James acted with Lily! I don't doubt that he cares a ton about her and wants her safe, but they both enter the order together. So I don't think he'd be overbearingly protective or he probably would have shipped her to Australia when she got pregnant with Harry!

This one was definitely a bit more challenging, with trying to pull in everything from the last. I'm so happy you still liked it! It's one of the last slow ones so I'll be excited to see how you like the sped up pace from here on out, too! Thank you so much for stopping by, m'dear! ♥


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Review #18, by Navera 

15th June 2013:
Good chapter! I've been really enjoying the story so far! I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm really happy you liked this chapter. The next one will be up Saturday :)!!

♥ Jami

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