7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 

1st August 2015:
I was so worried about Terry! I'm glad he's okay and was safe and sound with his own family New Year's Eve. I wonder though if Pyxis recognized the Ravenclaw or if he suspects anything from seeing Tor's bogart.

And poor Theo! I'm glad he couldn't do it. Couldn't torture that poor girl. I wonder who she was. And I wonder what Voldemort's decision will be about whether or not to let Theo into his ranks. I hope not. But I also hope nothing bad happens to him because he failed.

Great chapter! It was definitely an emotional ride, this one.


Author's Response: Hey Nix!! :D I'm sorry for taking so long to get to the responses for your lovely reviews, but I really appreciate all of your feedback!! :)

I'm glad you were worried about Terry (that makes me sound evil, but it means I handled the suspense right, hehe). I think that Pyxis is very observant and by this point he is getting suspicious of Tor's behaviour.

Theo is just at the cusp of becoming a Death Eater - as is Daphne - and these are such tricky scenes to write because it really shows how fearful and brainwashed they have to be.

Thank you so much!! ♥

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Review #2, by Jess the Enthusiast 

24th September 2014:
OH THANK GOD IT WAS JUST A BOGGART ugh you really had me I was so worried

Really great chapter!!!

Author's Response: Yes!! Oh I could not do that to the readers at this point in the novel. Just a Boggart for now...

Thank you!!! :)

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Review #3, by Teddy1993 

18th September 2014:
You had me worried there for a moment! Of course you wouldn't kill Terry at this point in the story, but I could still think of a wide range of horrible things that could happen to him. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again! I had fun with that little cliffhanger and it definitely foreshadows the prologue. I'm glad you were pleased he was okay, though - it was so hard for me to even think about hurting him! Thanks for the review!! :D

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Review #4, by nott theodore 

22nd August 2013:
Hi lovely!

Okay, so even though I knew that Terry couldn't actually be dead because we see him alive in the prologue, you still managed to have me worried with the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter. I was really interested to see what the explanation for that would be, and then when I read on to this chapter I kicked myself for not having thought of a boggart at all - it seems like an obvious explanation, but it's a great twist. I really liked the way that even though we know Terry will at least survive to the point we witness in the prologue, the danger is always there for them, and I still find myself worrying about what's going to happen.

The changes in perspective and the different times of each of those sections were so effective. At the very beginning you say "Time moves slow" and they emphasise that. It's almost like they slowed time down and we get to see what's happening in so many different places, rather than just with Tor. It also meant that we had to wait for longer to find out what was happening with Terry, which was mean!

I know I've probably said this countless times before, but the fact that we get to view certain scenes from the perspective of the Death Eaters changes how I view them so much. Especially at the beginning, when Yaxley was preparing to attack the Burrow, and he found the sight of Ginny reminded him of his own daughters. That was actually really touching, adding a more human element to his character, and the fact that he had to focus on the boy, their reason for being there, to continue with the attack was very believable.

I feel so sorry for Theo! Just like Draco, he's a child that's too eager for glory, too impatient to grow up, and he's getting involved with things he'd be much better off avoiding. He's so young and it helped to remind me of Draco in the books; the way that he struggled to torture someone he didn't know even though there was a lot of pressure on him to do it properly. I don't really want him to be accepted into the Death Eaters, but I have a feeling he will be... perhaps as a replacement for his father, or some sort of punishment?

Daphne's perspective was really interesting to read from. In a way I'm pleased that her sense of self-preservation has led her to step back from the idea of joining the Death Eaters, and that she's much happier supporting them but staying out of the action so that if they lose, she'll still be safe. It's quite sensible really - very Slytherin - but I want to shout at her for just wondering whether Tor will be able to resist and not doing anything to stop her from joining when she knows that she is younger and perhaps sillier at times. Then again, I'm not sure whether Tor would want to listen to her sister at any rate!

Terry's section was probably my favourite of all the people included here. His perspective was so wholesome, worlds away from the fear and terror and torture that's going on in Death Eater families. The contrast was brilliant, and I felt like I warmed to him even more. Perhaps he's being a little optimistic about how well Tor would fit in with his family, but he's still viewing her from somewhat rose-tinted glasses, I suppose. His family seemed so kind and happy and I loved the dynamic that you created between them all. The light-hearted teasing was so very different from poor Tor, stuck in the Malfoy cellar believing that she's seeing Terry's body.

I'm really pleased that it was a boggart, but I'm getting more worried about Tor and Terry's safety. I don't like the fact that Pyxis is getting more suspicious, and after he's witnessed that, I think Tor will find it even more difficult to keep her relationship a secret with the poor excuses she's been using. I'm not sure how Pyxis would react to finding out that Tor is going out with Terry, but since he's grown up experiencing the same sort of pureblood prejudice that she has, I'm not sure it would be very pleasant...

It was nice to see Yaxley being a real father figure in this chapter too, lecturing Tor on knowing her limits with how much she drinks! I felt quite sorry for her when she wanted to be able to tell him about Terry and gain his approval, as she should have been able to. It's another reminder for her of how dangerous this relationship could be.

I'm happy to see that Tor's still in touch with Andromeda - even though she hasn't appeared in person yet, I feel like I know her character quite well. There was a wistful tone to the letter that might remind Tor how much she stands to lose if she chooses Terry over her family, and I'm so interested to see how all of that plays out in the future. It's great that she has got someone she can talk to, though, especially someone like Andromeda who's encountered the same difficulties Tor is currently facing.

Another great chapter, my dear! I'm excited that I'm nearly caught up on these reviews!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello dear! :)

Really, how can I ever thank you for spoiling me with all these incredible reviews?! And as if you're almost caught up on the whole story... thank you for being so encouraging, it really helps me as a writer and reminds me to keep writing, even when silly Tor is being difficult! :)

I'm glad you liked the idea of the boggart, and that it was a good explanation for what happened. As you said, it felt so simple, yet so logical. Tor definitely hasn't thought much yet about the implications of her boggart being Terry's body. I also imagined the scene mirroring what happens in the prologue and hopefully reminding the readers of that future as well! :)

I actually really enjoyed writing the structure of this chapter and talking about the other important characters in the story while building suspense. And yes, it did delay finding out what was happening with Tor, hehe! :)

I'm happy you enjoy how we see these events from the Death Eaters POV, and how it's different from the "good guys." I honestly really like Yaxley and like to think he has the potential to be a good guy, so giving him a touch of humanity and how he had to force himself to remember the task seemed right for his character, and I'm pleased you appreciated it.

You're right, Theo and Draco are so similar and going through similar situations, though they would never think of confiding and finding help or salvation from each other because of their pride. I feel sorry for him as well, and because of his father's involvement he's pretty immersed as well, so even if he isn't "worthy" of being a full Death Eater he, and Tor, are still in whether they want to be or not.

Ah, I'm glad you noticed Daphne's Slytherin characteristics as well, and found it realistic that she wouldn't want to necessarily join up. She's better at lying low and staying neutral than Tor is, as long as it's for her own gain. I'm glad you found her interesting, and even frustrating, since that's just how I picture her.

I really loved Terry's section as well, and it helped inspire me to write the chapter from his perspective! There's a lot more to him than just the lovely, slightly ideal version of him that Tor sees, and I really want to give him a little more depth. Yes, Terry's experiences during the same few moments were such a stark contrast, and hopefully showed that there may be other options for Tor than the limited world of the DEs which she often takes for granted.

Yes, it is getting harder to keep the secret, especially with Pyxis seeing the boggart and the other Slytherins getting suspicious and always ready to hurt their peers if it will further their own interests.

I love Andromeda as a character, even if it's only through correspondence so far. I thought the letter was a bit nostalgic and wistful as well, and that while Andy doesn't regret her choices there is a part of her that misses her family. But yes, she is a great confidant and role model for Tor! :)

Thank you so much again for following this story and leaving me these gems of reviews!! :D I know I keep saying this, but you are actually the best!! :)

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Review #5, by marauderfan 

28th June 2013:
I just want to say that you are a master at handling a complicated plot line. I think that's your greatest strength as a writer- you're able to seamlessly weave so many details and feelings into a very well thought out plot. There's so much happening, a lot of which is behind the scenes, and you tell it so well. Your descriptions are so evocative. In case I haven't said it enough, this story is really a magnificent piece of writing.

I liked the shattered narration you used here, with the several different POVs at (relatively) the same time. With all the little snapshots into what's happening all over the place, it gave the impression that although people are putting on a brave face, everyone is sort of falling apart a little.

So glad Terry is ok. And I loved that scene from his POV, imagining how Tor would fit in with his family. Aww..

Really great job with this chapter. 28176/10.

Author's Response: Aw, you're so kind! :) I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job of the complicated plot and the multiple backstories, it's one of the best parts of writing a long, drawn-out story like this one! It's lovely to hear you like the descriptions and hints, I'm blushing! :)

Ah, I'm glad you liked the structure and seeing into other points of view, and how other people experience the same hour. I wanted to build up to the reveal of Tor and Terry a little, and yes, show how so many people's identities are fragmenting and their lives falling apart.

I know, I just couldn't hurt Terry! And the scene of his family was one of my favourites, I really liked writing it! :)

Thank you for another wonderful review! :D

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Review #6, by BookDinosaur 

17th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

So I really liked this chapter. I don't know why, but I really liked those times that you wrote in, it just gave the chapter a feeling of slowing reality down somehow. Gah, I don't know, I just liked the effect it had on the chapter.

And HEY. You tricked me! when I got to the bit where they said 'it was a woman', I literally said "AGAH!' and hit the table and stamped my foot. I got plenty of weird looks, believe me.

I loved reading from Theo's POV, I knew he wasn't a killer and that just reinforced my belief. I'm so worried about him though, will he become evil? Is he going to be the kid who dies? I'm scared for him and Tor.

I loved Terry's POV as well, it lined up perfectly with how he acts with Tor. His family was just amazing, I loved reading about them, and it was so sweet how he was missing Tor as much as she was missing him. I mean, they're made forr each other!

Ooh, will Pyxis catch Torry? (That's the ship name I made up for them. Please excuse its utter lameness.) I don't know whether to be happy or not about that... I guess it all hinges on hs reaction. But is the letter foreshadowing for something awful that'll happen once Pyxis finds out? Gah, I can't take the suspense. ;)

Anyway, this was a brilliant chapter I really enjoyed reading.

PS-This is my first review from my account on here! ;D

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so glad you liked that effect, I wasn't sure about it since it's so different! But it's great to hear the changing perspectives through the clock times worked, it makes me happy! :)

Haha, oh no! Yes, I dragged that on a little, didn't I? Sorry about the weird looks! :P

I'm very happy you liked reading from Theo and Terry's POVS, I liked getting into their heads a little. They're such important people in Tor's life, but they have their own perspectives and troubles as well. I'm glad you're engaged with the characters and that you're scared for Theo, and still loving Terry. They are made for each other! :P

Torry is an excellent ship name, haha! And yes, Pyxis is beginning to catch on that something is up. As for what happens, you'll just have to keep reading! :)

Yay, you got an account! :D I'm so honoured that the first review was on this story! Thank you for another really wonderful review!

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Review #7, by marauder5 

16th June 2013:
Yes, you tricked me! But it's twists like this one that makes stories intriguing, so you have nothing to apologize for ;)

Wow, it's amazing what a story from the bad guys' POV does to you as a reader, because while you're rooting for the good side, you also start to feel sympathy for the bad ones. For example, I was so worried about the Weasleys, and relieved when the Death Eaters failed, but still worried about Yaxley and Voldemort's reaction to it... That's one of the great things about this story, that you take these people, whom I have hated throughout the HP series, and given them real identities, making me realize that they too are human. So, yes, well done on that part!! ;)

As for Theo, I just feel so bad for him. I worry that this whole thing will change him, that he'll become colder and more evil under the influence of the Death Eaters, and that Tor will lose the Theo she knows and loves. Also, I'm worried for his life - maybe his involvement will get him killed, somehow? Maybe he will fail to do what Voldemort asks of him? Or something like that. Well, that's a plot line that I'm interested to read more of! It's wonderful how you can keep me so engaged in not only Tor and Terry's fates, but that of other people in her life as well!

Speaking of Terry: I think reading from his perspective was my favourite part of this chapter. You portrayed his family so wonderfully! His cousins were so great, and him imagining Tor there was beautiful. It was also really sad in a way, because it can't happen (unless Tor runs away to be with them, becuase I'm sure HIS family will accept it, even if Tor's won't.)

And it seems that Pyxis is getting closer to catching Tor and Terry. For some reason, I'm not too worried, because I think he would be the most accepting one out of Tor's circle of friends and family. But maybe I'm a bit too optimistic - he is a Nott, after all. I can't wait to see more of that either.

It was also great to see Yaxley being a typical dad for once (when he talked to Tor about her alcohol consumption, I mean!). I felt so bad for Tor when she wanted to open up to him, to talk about Terry and I guess the fact that she's in love for the first time, but knew that she just couldn't. That's just the tragedy of being brought up in such a prejudiced family.

Glad to see that Andromeda is still keeping in touch. I wonder if Tor will take her advice and plan an escape, or if she'll remain faithful to her family. Well, as you can tell, I have so many questions and I'm so concerned for all of the characters, which has to mean that you have succeeded as an author ;)

So thank you for another brilliant chapter, and also, for updating so quickly! It's absolutely great for someone as impatient as me, haha ;)

Author's Response: Ah, well I'm glad! :) I knew I couldn't hurt Terry, at least not yet, I just love him too much!

I'm very glad you root for the bad guys as well as the good guys, as this confusion is exactly what I want to get across! :) I actually quite like and sympathize with Yaxley as a character personally, so I'm glad he's coming across as human, if a rather corrupt human. I liked giving him that typical fatherly scene as well and contrasting it with his role as a DE.

I know, poor Theo! :( He's really in quite deep, similarly to Draco, and things aren't looking great. I'm very happy you're involved in all these other characters as well, I am too and it makes me so glad to see this coming across in the story and getting your response! :D

I'm so glad you liked Terry's perspective! I loved writing that part. So far we've only really seen him from Tor's point of view, but I want to change that in the second half of the story and give him some more depth. They are so sweet together, aren't they?

Interesting thoughts about Pyxis! He's a lot like Tor, but hasn't had the revelations that she's experienced by being with Terry, so his reactions would be interesting indeed...

You are so wonderful for leaving another amazing review, thank you so much! :) Your reviews really encourage and inspire me to keep writing (and keep updates fast), and I promise they are coming very soon! :D

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