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16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Libbypotter 

24th March 2017:
Lots of truths coming out. Wonderful interactions

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Review #2, by Roisin 

20th March 2015:
I love Scorpius hopping from foot to foot :) You have such a great character in him. He has interesting connections to various archetypes, but doesn't fully correspond to any one cliche. He's just a really charming and unique protagonist, and just the right amount of annoying.

Again, everyone is each working to their strengths. Lockett's working on a potion, Methy is doing something ambitious with charms, Selena's helping Methy, and Scorpius is bouncing around worrying.

HOUSE ELVES. You are so good at remembering House Elves.

You do a clever thing by mentioning that if an idea works, then /why didn't they do that before?/ Like, a reader might ask that, but you shoot it down nicely with "IF WE SAY THAT TO EVERYTHING THEN NOTHING WILL WORK."

SWORD OF GRYFFINDOR. There's something weirdly perfect about Slytherin-Albus thinking of that. OH NO--did the sword just reject him for not being courageous enough? THAT IS COLD, SWORD.

I *knew* it! I *knew* Miranda cheated with Hector! Like, it perfectly explains why Albus was all standoffish about him! Man, it's amazing how you manage to draw a Teen Drama arc into the context of more serious things--because it WOULD still happen with teenagers. But you sell it really well, and manage to give it gravitas even with everything else going on AND Scorpius' intense fury at Hector. Like, understanding that Hector CHEATED WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND really explains Scorpius' behaviot. And like, OH MY GOD, it super helps explain why Scorpius was SO upset by Rose shooting him down after Hector woke up, and makes him seem like even MORE of a great guy for being the one to think of Hector in the first place. Like, he could have not said anything and been vengeful about it--like, 'haha, you hook up with my gf I hook up with yours!' It's really cool of him, even though he genuinely likes Rose, to not want to use her like that.

Ok, but, tbf--Scorpius really didn't need to come at Harley like that.

Then again, I think it was a good choice, because Harley's rant is EXCELLENT. He makes really good points, and I love it. 'You can't give someone freedom'--PREACH. It's true that oppressed or disadvantaged groups shouldn't be expected to be /thankful/ for being afforded smidgeons of dignity or rights.

BLARGH WHAT'S HE GONNA DO??? Like, I actually don't have a guess at what Scorp's plan is.

Author's Response: Scorpius was envisioned as something of a Guile Hero or Trickster Hero, but because he's not really learnt all of the cleverness and manipulation yet, he has to borrow from different archetypes to make do.

Watch me hang a lampshade on why nobody tried this idea before! I chalk it up to getting into the Headmaster's Office not being an especially high priority before now - Al and Rose are almost doing it to keep busy - and it just slipping their mind.

Poor Albus indeed - it's just because he's a Slytherin. Though it's an interesting thought, as Albus and the nature of courage is one of his long-term arcs...

I had wondered if you'd read up to this part when you were ruminating on the Miranda mystery before; interesting to know you're coming to this as a surprise! It's a very silly and minor thing, but it's the first mystery as these guys realise they don't REALLY know each other so well. And yes, Scorpius has SOME standards, like not wanting to use Rose to get back at Hector.

And then he loses those brownie points by being a jerk to Harley, but yeah, I'd almost forgive him myself because Harley's rant was very satisfying to write. Scorpius was being a jerk because he's stressed, but Harley is still absolutely right, and I enjoyed writing him as not entirely likeable while still entirely right. Blah blah tone argument blah.

Scorpius' plan is shocking. SHOCKING.


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Review #3, by Siriuslover177 

20th June 2014:
Did Scorp really think that was going to be a good idea? I mean, come on. He goes in there, and attacks him, and then gets mad when he wants a little respect. That is jist terrible.

We finally learn what Miranda did. I suspected that is what happened. I knew I hated Flynn for more reasons. I really hope she breaks up with hom now. He is just a terrible person. Plus, she realises she should be with Scorp.

And wow... she was mad at him because hr stoll Al alway... and Al decided to go into Slytherin so that Scorp wouldnt be alone. That is just so sweet. I mean, he hardly knew him, and he knew how people would view the perfect Harry Potters son getting sorted into Slytherin, but he did it anyways to help someone who really needed help. That is a true good person.

I hope him and Rose can get closer. They both got their feelings off their chest, so hopefully all is well now.

And hopefully the get out of the office soon.

~Sarah
10/10

Author's Response: Scorpius thought he could convince Harley, and was too angry to think about how, or to think about how Harley would react. It was not a good plan.

Rose is realising that while Hector made a good diversion as a boyfriend, he's not a good person. And finally she gets it off her chest, her problem with Scorpius, the real reason she's upset at him - the jealousy. Albus really was a sweetheart to want to stick his neck out for someone he'd just forged a connection with.


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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell 

23rd October 2013:
So, Harley has a point. Malfoy really was treating him as second class, and that’s not okay. However, I think he may be wrong in presuming that Scorpius wouldn’t have done the same to a wizard whom he thought was being unhelpful in that situation. If Methuselah could get Rose and Albus out, but was choosing not to exert himself, I imagine he could have expected a swift knock to the floor, as well.

Of course, the House Elves weren’t just being contrary in this case--they couldn’t help. But what in their behavior so far implied that they’d be willing to go the extra mile? That said, I think you capture well the idea that people have--that someone who was liberated from oppression should be ridiculously grateful for all time, instead of learning to consider themselves equal to their formal oppression. The whole, “They should be grateful” mentality is clearly there, in Scorpius and in Rose, and perhaps the elves should be more helpful, but also the wizarding bunch should be more respectful. Two way streets all over the place in this story!

Well, that plan’s out. I wonder what Scorpius will try next?

And at least Rose now knows the truth about Scorpius and Flynn, and has admitted to the reasons behind her resentment. Progress. That’s heartening to see. : )

Author's Response: Oh, yes. I very much enjoyed writing Harley in this chapter, the essential point that oppressed people shouldn't bow down and worship at the feet of people who deigned to treat them as equal. And Scorpius wasn't doing that - though you're right, while Scorpius DOES have his biases and WAS harsh to Harley, Scorpius would have probably been quite unpleasant to another wizard in that situation. That's Harley's error, for assuming it's all about Scorpius' mostly subconscious bigotry.

Glad you enjoy the double-edged sword! That's generally what I enjoy with my stories. Nothing is simple, because the world isn't simple.


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Review #5, by water_lily43175 

21st September 2013:
I was just beginning to get back on the wagon with fanfic stuff, and thinking I needed to get round to reviewing these last couple of chapters that I never quite got to when they first went up, and then a new chapter appeared. Seems like as good a time as any to catch up! So. Rose and Albus were stuck, weren't they? Here goes...

Oh, poor Albus, not being able to wield the Sword of Gryffindor! So unfair. And - oh. Oh, I like this. Rose's ill-feeling for Scorpius stems all the way back to when Albus effectively chose him over her at their Sorting. No wonder she feels some sort of resentment towards him!

Whoa - wait. Miranda cheated with HECTOR. Oh man. Oh, SCORPIUS. What a tangled web these kids have woven! Sounds like Rose and Scorp have a lot to talk about once she's out of the office.

IF she gets out of the office. Anyway, love the Rose/Albus chat, it really is sad that things ended up the way they did but it's so easy to see how it happened. House politics playing a part once more, you know how I love when you play on all of that.

Um, Scorpius. I would suggest that tipping Harley back on his chair maybe isn't the way to act if you want a favour out of him. Just a thought, there. Harsh words from Harley, but true words all the same, and words Scorpius needed to hear. Onwards!

Author's Response: Oh God I owe you so many reviews (and review answers)! Tomorrow's job, for sure. Typical we get back on the fanfic bandwagon at the same time.

Of course I had to do something with the Sword of Gryffindor. The levitation had to be possible because otherwise how did Snape move the dang thing, but I liked the idea of it only being wielded by a Gryffindor. And at some point I have to get around to explaining just why Al is a Slytherin (apart from his choices as explained here), but yeah. This is a starting point.

And finally I get to bring up the issues here which have been in place since literally chapter 1. You have no idea how good it was to get this chapter out with the Hector/Miranda reveal and the explanation of Rose's feelings. So good.

Scorpius remains a gentleman, scholar, and diplomat. Totally good at getting favours out of someone.

Thanks for reviewing! Has been too long, from us both.


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Review #6, by TheHallow 

30th July 2013:
I have to admit, I LOVE this fanfiction. I really really do! I've been following it for a while, not since the beginning but since there were only more than a few chapters. This is really impressive! You should definitely write your own story and send it to a publisher! And if you already have published something, please tell me what the books are! I would love to buy them!

Author's Response: One of the reasons my progress with this story has slowed down is me working on my own projects. I have something very much in the pipeline. ;) But I'm glad you've enjoyed the story here, and have followed it so far! I'm hoping to get it finished, time willing. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #7, by skippee 

15th June 2013:
Great chapter! I love the way you've developed each of the characters. The way you've written their feelings and conflicts is very believable and really adds to the quality of your plot. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this. There'll be more soon. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #8, by greenphantomme 

12th June 2013:
Bam! Scorpius got told. haha

I like how Rose and Al opened up to each other in this chapter. It adds a lot of depth! I absolutely love what you've done with this story so far.. it's intense.

And in survival scenarios, technically Rose and Al can last longer than three days without food and water. I know it's disgusting but they can drink their own urine. If your will to live is strong enough sometimes it just has to get done, even if it is gross. haha It has been done in desperate situations before!

Anywhoo, can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: I admit. I didn't think through the urine thing. XD Though of course, they could survive for quite a while without food and water but a bit of a browse of the interwebs suggested 3 days was how long you'd last without too much need for medical aid afterwards. That said, I did not think through just how far they could go to survive!

Thanks for reviewing, anyway, and glad you enjoyed!


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Review #9, by MadiMalfoy 

11th June 2013:
Hey again! :)

First of all, another phenomenal chapter! This had so much in it that I was hoping would resolve, and most of it did! Rose and Albus finally got over their problems and learned some new things that weren't necessarily good but needed to be said. It's very very well-written and sounds just like they would, right down to the gestures. I think that because they were the same age and then got separated they would miss that daily contact they had as children even more and Rose felt replaced and etc etc. Their hurt was almost palpable in this chapter!

You really had the chance to develop Scorpius's character in this chapter and you didn't disappoint! You showed what everybody else thinks of him and I think that that wakes him up, that he needs to stop being so rude and selfish if he wants to help save everybody and be able to have Rose. You introduced a very complex side to Scorpius, and I'm excited to see how you develop it further. Great job with this chapter! :) xx

Author's Response: This chapter is a bit of a stonker for resolution of issues, yes. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #10, by j 

5th June 2013:
i'm very happy waiting for your update - and very curious, of course!

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by AriesGirl40 

5th June 2013:
That was a cool chapter. I loved Scorpius's fight with the house elf. He never fully wins with this guy lol

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed. Harley really is good at getting one over Scorp. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #12, by ladymontgomery 

5th June 2013:
I love this chapter for the pure reason that you get to see a real side of all of the characters...and I don't know, I just loved all these revelations because they allowed me to see the characters in such a new light. I'm kind of tired so I'm probably not making sense, but I seriously love this chapter...probably one of your best as far as characterization.

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed. This chapter was a fun one for getting all the little secrets and challenges out. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #13, by chocolateteacups 

5th June 2013:
GO HARLEY! Scorpius needed that :)

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed. Harley is lots of fun to write! Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #14, by Solana 

4th June 2013:
Ok, I needed to add this because the other reviewer said it and I know it's true: Scorpius did need to be taught a lesson by Harley. I hope you have him learn from it, along with all the other things he's obviously needing to learn. :-)

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed. Scorpius is definitely going to be taking something away from this meeting with Harley. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by Solana 

4th June 2013:
Wow ... oh wow ... oh wow!!! I don't know which to respond to first! I loved it all! Ok, from first to last ...

Lockett's trying to be sensitive to Scorpius, that's easy to see. It's just that she's not really sensitive to anybody. Now, I didn't read your first story where she appears so I don't have the background everyone else does on Nat. Suffice it to say I'm seeing a personality in there, maybe trying to come out after so long. And in this instance she was doing what she thought was right: Scorpius was doing the most good in his own work. Nevertheless, Al and Rose need to get out soon or they will die. She they need the resources of everyone there.

Oh, I'm really starting to love Selena! I can see real growth there. She'll always retain her basic personality, of course. But if she were a real person, people would say, that's vintage Selena. She'll always be vain, she'll always have a selfish streak. But only a streak. It will not ruin her. She will prevail over it. And maybe, just maybe, find someone right for her.

Maybe Methuselah? I like our Methy for figuring out things, and I'm seeing there's humanity in there, too, as Scorpius is also seeing. He's really, really trying to figure out and in this case, Selena, from all the time she's spent with him, is a little shaky because she's accustomed to 100% confidence from him.

Oh Scorpius! Will he ever stop shooting himself in the foot. He verbally attacks everyone else in crises because he can't handle his feelings -- part of that being just a boy not yet grown and the other part being the damage done to him by being born a Malfoy (and possibly due to other damage we don't yet know about? ... We haven't yet seen your Draco ...). Now he behaves badly with the head House Elf when he needs help the most because he just didn't think.

But now you're scaring me as a reader. Anyone else feeling nervous, too? What's Scorpius going to do that he always said he'd do? Oh no! It isn't something bad, is it?

You've really got us in this one. Please, please update just asap! This is one of the best stories I've read with these characters. I can only imagine how good you are with your own. Please update as soon as you can!

Author's Response: It had been my intention that knowing Nat Lockett's history from my other work is a... perk, an Easter Egg, rather than a necessity. I would hope for old readers they would get the fun of putting the pieces together while she's an entertaining mystery for new readers. So I'm glad that's working! There are issues brewing under her surface and we'll see what happens with them.

Selena is petty, selfish, vain, and occasionally astonishingly rude. But, under it all, she does have a good heart. She's got more good stuff to come this story, too! Scorpius, not so different, and yes, we'll get more on his relationship with his father and what Draco in this story is like.

Thankfully, more updates coming all the time now! Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #16, by missdagane 

4th June 2013:
loved this chapter; finally Rose knows the thruth about Hector. Wonder how she will react now. the discussion with Albus was great and Scorpius was shown a great lesson by Harley

Author's Response: An update is coming soon! Glad you've enjoyed. This chapter had some fun revelations. Thanks for reviewing!

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