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18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Justżna ČadanovŠ-Czech 

14th July 2017:
Holy... that was close. I was realy afraid that Lily wants to do IT like this. But it pulled through good :-) love your writing as always

Author's Response: Aww I'm so happy you liked this chapter!

Jami


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Review #2, by MyDearWatson 

18th October 2015:
Hello,

I am in love with this story! It has truly captivated me to the point where I think about when I will have some free time to read more of it! Fantastic writing style. I love that your characters are round and developed instead of falling into casts, like so many other authors' versions. I feel like you are really doing justice to Lily and James, and also love the inclusion of Frank and Alice (unsung heroes, in my opinion).

I can't wait until I reach the end, even though i know I will be sad to have none of the story left.

You are a gifted storyteller.

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Review #3, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

22nd January 2015:
#awkwardfirsttimes

And I know all about awkward firsts.
And seconds.
And thirds...

Anywho! So glad they talked it through. I knew she was going to try to...uh...how do I keep this age appropriate (12+)...give him the cookies. James wants the cookies but he's a good guy. Good guys do not pressure girls and I wish we knew that. Then again James Potter is a fictional character.

Why can't we just blast Al, our hated Claw, to oblivion and let delusional Vicky go with him? They're awful. She's awful in the cliche crazy chic I want to steal your boyfriend because I'm not and I'm entitled type of way and he's awful in a I want to be a mini Bellatrix with an accent type of way.

That's just too much awful.

Make Voldemort look pretty.

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Review #4, by Tris  

24th November 2014:
Yup. I love this chapter particularly much! This was sooo cute! When James said that guys weren't made to have so many feelings I literally burst out laughing! This was so cute and I like that you (so far at least) are making this the way I would expect Lilly and James to be when they were togather. They don't go on and off, they don't REALLY upset each other, they are perfect. loving this so much!

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Review #5, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hey Jami!

Wow, what a chapter! I was really glad to see James standing up to Abigail and not letting her target Lily in that way because she's really nasty and just so frustrating. Definitely the sort of person who I can see going on to become a Death Eater, or at least helping them! I'm glad the rest of the prefects rallied round as well because it's nice to know that they do appreciate James and Lily and all the work that they put into their positions.

Oh my goodness. That scene with Violet and Alrek! Here was me hoping that Violet would get the message soon and now I suspect that she's going to have been pulled into something else much bigger, far beyond her understanding, and extremely dangerous. It was a great plot twist because I didn't see that coming, that the romance and the danger in this story would collide and come together like that - I'm so scared for them now!

The last scene was adorable, too. I loved the fact that you showed some of Lily's insecurities because it just made me like her even more, and James was so sweet responding to them. They're just so cute together!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #6, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

6th July 2013:
Gah! It feels so wrong not to be reviewing every single chapter! I did look over the last two real quick, though, so I wouldn't get totally lost :P

And I'll totally get to your main AoC, but first, I just have to say.

Good riddance, Abigail, indeed!! What a little you-know-what. Don't you just want to slap her? But seriously, it was a nice touch in the overall theme of the war growing around them. That someone would just stand up and call the Head Boy and Girl a blood traitor and a Mudblood just shows how far things have gone. I mean, just in fifth year it was scandalous for Snape to sort of mutter it under his breath, but here is a girl shouting it in front of several dozen students without any real fear of punishment, except losing her badge, which she was already going to have taken away from her anyway.

I'm not sure if it's because I didn't read the previous chapters carefully or you are just super sneaky, but I did NOT see the Violet/Alrek conspiracy coming at all! As I was reading through the start of the scene, I was kind of wondering why you were taking us down this path with Violet, and then suddenly... BAM! Plot twist!! I love they way you brought two seemingly separate plots and mashed them together in such an unexpected way. The danger and the romance of the story just got set on a major collision course. Perfect!

And it really did a lot, perhaps unintentionally, for Violet's character. At least for me. We all remember girls like her from High School. She's easy to hate. But now you've made her an unwitting pawn in a much larger game, with consequences she didn't sign up for. That makes her a victim of sorts, which in turn, makes you feel a little differently about her. Her obad decisions and devious ways are the cause of her problems, but there is a big difference between trying to steal someone's boyfriend and setting them up for something that might get them killed. It really adds a whole other dimension to her story!

I'm going to sidetrack here for a second to offer a suggestion. I know you mentioned being a little overwhelmed at the length of the story and possible wanting to make the sequel shorter. In that light, I think this is the type of scene where you could lose some length. I love the Violet/Alrek subplot, but I don't think you would have lost any of the impact of it by cutting the scene off after "And I think I am having a vay to help you vith your situation."

Okay, you might need one or two lines before or after, but in general, the plot wouldn't suffer if you cut the next 600 words. We already know Alrek is a bad guy and there was no doubt in my mind when he said he had a way to "help" her what he was really up to. Next time you cut to Violet, a quick sentence or two about how she'd been surprised to find Alrek so eager to help, perhaps guessing he had the same interest in Lily that she has in James and was willing to go along with any plan that might help her get him alone would be all we the reader needs to know. There's nothing wrong with what you wrote, but cutting scenes like this will not only help with length, but also build tension. We know enough to get a sense of the danger Violet is in now, but it would leave us on the edge wondering what Alrek really has in mind.

I should end this all by saying I'm not nearly as good at moving scenes along as quickly as I wish I was, so take this all with a grain of salt. You know who I think is really good at it? WTM. She can do what I only preach about :P

Okay, back to the action. Erm, maybe that wasn't the best choice of words... hehehe

I can get why you were worried about this scene, but honestly, I think you handed it perfectly. I totally believed and understood Lily's thought process here. She didn't want to be with him for all the wrong reasons, but she didn't really want to be with him for all the right reasons either. She wants to be with him when the time feels right; she just let Violet get under her skin enough to think now WAS the right time. And as so often is the case, she didn't see the real truth of her actions until James confronted her on it. Oh, Lily. Always over-planning.

I thought James' anger was not only realistic, but justified. He was right to call her out on this, and to say they'd been through too much to rehash this old business. James has done all the right things to make Lily feel secure in their relationship, and he's right to be a bit miffed that she still isn't getting the message. I loved when he called her exhausting. She is, but so is every other teenage girl ever, so you really can't blame her. Everything at that age is just so damn complicated :P

Okay, I think that's it from me. Oh, except the line Usually they traveled in a pack. HAHAHAHA! She has no idea how right she is!! Gah, and I was going to talk about how much I like the way Violet views Lily (about her being a snob). It isn't true, of course, but it's so realistic in the way (a) people have these grossly incorrect opinions of others sometimes, and (b) how we convince ourselves certain things are true to support our own bad behavior. But I'm running out of room, so that will have to do!

Just a few typos if they fit. Great, great chapter, my dear. And a killer ending!

Hi Lily (Hi, Lily)

Lily gestured for the girl to sit down at the chair beside her (sit down in/on the chair)

If I run into any of the Gryffindors I'll remind them... (Gryffindors, I'll remind)

Remus was a bit of a know it all, but he was nice enough (know-it-all)

"Hey," James whispers, moving away from her and reaching up... (whispered)

What would Alice and Belle say if she'd have told them? (Not sure on this one, but maybe: What would Alice and Belle have said if she told them?)

"No, It's not that," she lied. (it's)

"What would happen if we didn't do this. (? not .)

Author's Response: Do you feel like you're cheating on my chapters with other chapters? :P Haha!

Abigail almost ended up being a loose sort of end for me, but I've figured out a way to sneak her into the next book. Mwaha. You know those times when you're going somewhere with something, then it doesn't happen, but you can find a different way to go about it by some miracle? That happened with her :P!

I don't think I gave any sort of Violet Alrek hints... I think for once I really was sneaky! Woot! I loved the idea of Violet's actions having consequences much more serious than she meant for them, and I think that's sort of how I ended up wanting to tie her into Alrek's plot. I'm so happy you weren't expecting it!

Yes, I love what you said about there being a big difference between wanting to steal someone's boyfriend and wanting to set them up for a murder. Violet, at least to me, isn't bad. She's just self absorbed and she has no loyalties to Lily. Why should she?

You know how 'derrr' I am when it comes to knowing what to cut out and where. Obviously it's too late for this novel, but you spotting these parts is such a huge help. It gives me an idea of the other sort of scenes that I don't necessary need, and that's what I need to really work on!

Isn't that the truth of everything at that age being so much more complicating? I'm so excited that you thought that whole scene worked. I don't think Lily realizes just how long James has waited for her to reciprocate his feelings, and he's not going to risk doing something a bit earlier than necessary and just taking a million steps backward. Then Lily... poor thing just needs to go take a bath, haha!

When I was writing Violet's section I couldn't help but think how, to someone who doesn't like Lily, annoying she really could be. Head girl, perfect grades and a solid group of friends. Of course we know how far from ideal her life is, but I think Violet definitely has enough to go on when working herself up into, 'I hate Lily,' fits :P.

I'm so excited you liked this chapter! Especially the James and Lily, or, well, almost :P. Because those still really make me nervous and knowing that I'm on the right track is such a huge relief.

AND thank you for the typos!!

♥ Jami


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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

22nd June 2013:
Hey Jami :)

Jeez, Abigail is as vile as Violet, although she's also got a much darker side which isn't pleasant. I was glad she kicked off though, it means Lily and James got to get rid of her and it was completely her own doing. Ha. Serves her right.

I really wanted to hug Mary here. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her to tattle on her friend but its obviously the right thing to do. I was glad she told Violet too. She needed to hear it.

Violets thought's were so idiotic - she was really winding me up. Delusional people are just impossible though. I think the definite no needs to come from James when she's trying this rubbish that will supposedly make him fall at her feet otherwise she won't get the message. Who is going to give her this chance though? Alrek. I think I actually shivered a bit when she bumped into him. Whatever plan he has up his sleeve won't be good and I'm kind of dreading it in the next few chapters.

Oh Jami! Hahaha!! I couldn't believe Lily's present for James. And in the heads quarters too, tut tut. You are so good at getting inside Lily's head and dissecting her thought processes in moments like this. The way she's over thinking things to me shows she's not quite ready yet, even though it's also clear how much she loves James. I'm just so happy James is there to see how she's actually feeling and even though it must be so so hard for him he still manages to stop and check she's okay.

The way she came out with "Should I, um, take my clothes off?" I wanted to spit my drink out haha! Oh it was so... innocent. Bless her. I think I would have paid to see James' reaction though.

I do love his first instinct though. "This is a birthday joke, isn't it? Sirius put you up to this. Any second everyone is going to come barging in here saying they tricked me, right?" The poor boy. That would be such a cruel trick.

The more Lily tries to convince herself, the more clear it is that's shes doing it for completely the wrong reasons. I'm just glad James is astute enough to pick up on Lily's mood. Something not every guy would be capable of.

I'm glad you let James get angry at Lily, even if it was just for a few minutes. I know how hard it is for Lily when she's got Violet saying all the things she is but James really hasn't ever done anything to suggest he would do otherwise and I think he deserved that moment to be maybe a bit hurt that she would think that, even if she had a perfectly good reason. The way they worked it out was good for them though, it was sweet. I thought the dropping out of the 'L' word was nicely done too.

This sentence didn't quite makes sense: "She'd read the instructions a million, knew that she had up to fifteen days of protection before her next dose." I think you need a 'times' before the comma so it reads 'a million times' and something that joins the next bit up with an and or something :)

Great chapter. These pair make me laugh so much and I love how your write their relationship!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren! Hi Lovely!

I'm so happy you liked Mary in this chapter! I hadn't planned on her telling Violet, but it seemed like the right thing to do when I got to that point. It would be hard enough to tattle on your friend, then keeping it a secret seems almost impossible!

Ahh I'm so happy Alrek and Violet bumping into one another made you nervous! haha! I wanted to make it clear that they were not a good duo, especially not with how desperate Violet is to get James's attention.

James was such a sweet boy in this chapter, wasn't he? I think if someone understands patience and how to maintain it, it would be him. He spent so long liking her, that I find it hard to think he'd risk anything messing up what they have. He spent too much time liking her to let the physical part of the relationship move too quickly and mess things up. I think he deserves a gold star for being sweet *nods*.

I laughed so hard but also felt so awkward writing that line. HAHA. poor Lily. She just wanted to do what she though was necessary, but you're right. It was absolutely for the wrong reasons.

I thought he deserved that bit of anger at Lily as well. Like you said, he's never even gotten close to giving Lily a reason to think he can't be a million percent trusted. But of course things can get a little warped in us girls' brains, but that doesn't mean James was okay with the way she handled it. Ahh these two. Should we just hug them?!

Ooops, thank you for pointing out that sentence! ♥

Thank you once again Lauren for all the amazing reviews you've left. I feel bad that I don't ever post in the 'reviews that make your thread' day or anything, but ugh. I always feel like someone's going to think I'm bragging or being big headed or something, but I hope you know how much every review you leave me, means to me ♥!

Jami


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Review #8, by Pearl Halligon 

15th June 2013:
Really enjoying this story! I'm hooked!

Author's Response: Aww that's such an awesome compliment! Thank you so much for reviewing ♥
Jami


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Review #9, by True Author 

6th June 2013:
Hi Jami! :D
I wanted to read and review this chapter right away, but non- HPFF life was too hectic and I had to write a new update for my current WIP. I hope you understand! :) Anyways, I have two free saturdays and I'm looking forward to the next updates. =]

A lot happened in this chapter. Some of it was lovely and some of it makes me worried. So I'll call this a bittersweet chapter.
Violet and Alrek is a recipe of danger! I mean, I don't really want it to happen. What if Violet becomes a Death Eater in the future? I don't like her that much, but I want everyone of them to be good in the future. Even Peter! He's so kind and nice in BTF that I can't believe he's going to do that. He and Mary would've made a cool match I guess.

The last scene was very touching. I love Lily and James!!! I love them so much! James was a bit silly though, when he thought it was a prank. That was too much for a prank... But I'm glad you decided not to go ahead. It wasn't the right time and situation.
Let's see what happens in the next chapters!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi lovely Ashwini ♥ Does anyone ever call you Ash?

Aww, don't ever stress about getting over her when you're busy! You know it's not going anywhere!

I think Violet is a very self centered girl who's too focused on her own wants to really give much thought to anyone else, but I don't think she's evil. If that helps ;).

Aww I'm so happy you like Peter in BTF. I know how hard it is for people to give him a chance. I think, even after he does what he does, you'll feel more bad for him than angry. At least if I'm able to write it the way I see it in my head.

I agree with it not being the right situation or time and I'm so happy you liked their section together ♥ hahah poor James is just a bit clueless sometimes, isn't he?

Thank you so much for your awesome review, Ashwini! ♥

Jami


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Review #10, by MissMdsty 

3rd June 2013:
Actually, I was kind of hoping they would catch a break! Really! We need more smooshy romance!

I loved everything about this chapter! You have these two girls, Lily on one side and Violet on the next, battling over James' affections and the way in which you write them, as complete opposites, is very lovely! Though I'm not a big fan of Violet's, her comments made me laugh.

If you look at Belle from her POV, we all have that one girl who is just too perfect for words and we hate her and want her to be fat. Well, not really hate her, but want her to be fat. I know I do.

Alrek and Violet is a recipe for disaster and I can feel the heartache coming on. It's so sad to see that in the middle of the war and death and destruction there are still girls who want to be the most popular girls in school. It gives me a kind of Gossip Girl vibe (you need to watch that show).

And to get mushy with you, you are such an amazing talented writer, regardless of what anybody says and you created this beautiful story with such amazing characters, you can't not love it! So thank you for that!

Author's Response: Ralll! Hi!

You will eventually get your smooshy romance, promise! haha!

I love what you said about looking at Belle through Violet's prospective. I thought the same thing. We know she's lovely and nice and isn't perfect, but oh my gosh to another girl who doesn't know her? Can you imagine some gorgeous transfer coming to your school and getting one of the most popular boy wrapped around her finger? I think I'd half hate her too :P

I really wanted to show that even with everything going on, there is still the normal teenage crap to worry about. I've heard so much about Gossip Girl! I'm obviously missing out!!

Awww Ral! Now you're making me all feelsy and I just want to hug you! thank you so much for all your sweet words, and keeping me sane during my insanely tired Monday morning ;)!



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Review #11, by Morgana Tales 

29th May 2013:
FINALLY I MADE AN ACCOUNT! hi, this is your loyal reviewer Ginny Weasley, who was convinced by her best friend TheAwesomeOne, to make an account to post a story I started to write. well now I can review truely. peace out Jamie! with all of my love, Morgana.
I think you can guess my true name.

Author's Response: Morgan, I'm so excited you made an account!!! Your reviews are always such a lovely surprise, so seeing you become part of the site is so awesome!!

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!!

♥ Jami


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Review #12, by Ginny Weasley 

27th May 2013:
I can tell Alrek wants to get Lily alone for a diffrent reason than Violate. and it's not a good one. Fantastic! Sorry I haven't reviewed right away, but I couldn't read it right away with my internet being crazy. I love it as much as I ALWAYS do. ( ;) Harry Potter refrence for you.)

Author's Response: Hahah YES! You're right! Violet and Alrek have very different agendas, that's for sure.

Aww no worries, I'm so happy you were able to read this and that you loved it... ALWAYS ;)!! See look, I'm using your reference back at you! mwahaha! :P

Thank you so much for another amazing review ♥


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Review #13, by Ginny Weasley 

27th May 2013:
I can tell Alrek wants to get Lily alone for a diffrent reason than Violate. and it's not a good one. Fantastic! Sorry I haven't reviewed right away, but I couldn't read it right away with my internet being crazy. I love it as much as I ALWAYS do. ( ;) Harry Potter refrence for you.)

Author's Response: Hahah YES! You're right! Violet and Alrek have very different agendas, that's for sure.

Aww no worries, I'm so happy you were able to read this and that you loved it... ALWAYS ;)!! See look, I'm using your reference back at you! mwahaha! :P

Thank you so much for another amazing review ♥


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Review #14, by patronus_charm 

26th May 2013:
Even though I didnít get to post it congrats on BTF reaching 600 reviews thatís amazing! *throws confetti* and the chapter summary for this one! Iím trying not to get too excited about what might happen and skip to the end and find out.

Aw I really liked Briscoe; itís so rare to come across a nice Slytherin but Iím really glad that youíve included one as it shows both sides of them. I almost donít want Lily and James to leave because I wonít find out whether they are any developments on the Eleanor/Briscoe front :P

Ah and Abigail appears again. Even if itís a tiny appearance from her she gets me riled up, I really feel for Lily and James as they actually have to deal with her! Woo go James! He was awesome, though I dread to think what Abigailís going to deal as her way of revenge; I canít imagine itís going to be pretty. Aw Lily was lovely to Mary I really liked that scene :í)

Ok I could handle Violetís hate for Lily considering sheís dating James and all, but her hate for Belle is unjustified quite frankly. Yay I love surprise parties and it seems fitting that McGonagall was invited as she always seemed to have a soft spot for those Marauders. Iím kind of worried what Violet was planning to do to James without McGonagall being there though, and Iím also questioning the sorting hatís abilities; sheís way too Slytherin for her own good.

Aw if Mary and Peter got together that would be so cute. Iím trying to disregard what he does later on so the cuteness can actually happen. Theyíre both really quiet and kind and can be pushed around easily. Then the thing I liked about both of them is that they stand up to their friends when necessary and thatís what Mary was doing and I was her personal cheerleader. Iíve done a lot of cheering for people who take Violet down in the past few chapters.

Violet + Alrek = danger. This is not a good sign; perhaps her Slytherin tendencies will cause her to become a Death Eater. I really hope that isnít true, though I donít like her I donít want her to become one of them. Ah Iím worried about what those two are going to do now, they really arenít a good combination and the only thing I can think is that theyíre going to cause a lot of trouble. I hope someone overheard them and is going to report back to James and Lily, though thatís very unlikely.

Ah! This is it! I thought from the chapter summary something like this might happen but I didnít want to get carried away so I didnít mention it, but now you brought up the conversation she had with Belle and Alice it must be. I was wondering what his present could be, but it makes sense now. Haha, you really are good with your little hints, Jami!

This line was perfect for James ĎI mean, weíd feel... different I think, but not, um, bad different.Ēí It really reminded me of Harry and how unsure he could be. If there is a lack of comments on this section itís because it would just be squealing and hearts and I donít want to seem too crazy. But aw James + Lily = ♥ aw those two theyíre so cute and I love them.

Ok I take that back. James you idiot Ė it was so awkward when he thought it was prank. There was Lily being all organised with her protection and psyching herself up for it and he goes and says that how could he. He really can be infuriating at times. That section was way too up and down. I was having a go at James and then they were going to ahead with it and then Lily got scared. If it wasnít like that it wouldnít have been realistic. I really thought it was brilliant even if it did result in a lot of feels. Iím glad that they didnít go ahead with it as I could tell Lily wasnít ready and the moment will be even more special.

Another amazing chapter, Jami ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thank you so much Kiana ♥ for both another amazing review and for playing such a massive part in helping keep me motivated to write BTF and make me feel like I am doing something right with this bunch of characters ♥

I do get sad by how terribly the house is looked upon, and I thought Briscoe is a nice way to show that they aren't all future Death Eaters :P.

I thought you would like the Lily Mary scene :D! Mary might not have the best taste in friends, but she's still a Gryffindor and brave enough to stand up to them when they're being ridiculous!

Hahaha agreed about Violet's hate for Belle. Usually it seems like if a girl doesn't like another girl, they don't like their entire group of friends, either. Our species definitely has some kinks to work out... starting with Violet :P

I fully agree about Violet and Alrek = danger. If it helps, I can tell you that Violet won't become a Death Eater. She's very selfish and refuses to see things from any other point of view, but if it helps ease your nerve I can assure you she isn't actually evil. We'll see more of that soon!

Hahaha aww thank you! I still struggle to leave hints without giving things away, so I'm happy you like them ♥

I'm so happy you agreed with their decision to not go ahead, and I definitely don't think i was the right time, either. But at least they got to talk things out with Violet, and I got to write some serious James and Lily feels. HEHEHEH.

Thank you so much for another amazing review Kiana, actually for 31 amazing reviews. I'm so excited to see what you think of next chapter!!

♥ Jami


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Review #15, by DracoGal 

26th May 2013:
Another cute chapter! James and Lily are so adorable! So when is Violet being pitched off the Astronomy Tower? Alrek can join her too. Can't wait till the next chapter comes out :)

Author's Response: Hahaha No no no we don't throw people off of towers! :P I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter! Your reviews always brighten my day ♥

Jami


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Review #16, by CambAngst 

25th May 2013:
How to love you? Let me count the ways I love this story right now. After devoting some quality time to Sirius and Belle, Alice and Frank, we've come back around to some major James and Lily relationship development. All kinds of stuff happening in this chapter, some of it awesome and some of it making me want to reach in with the Beta Reader's Hand of God and smite some of the antagonists. What's that you say? Beta Readers don't control the Hand of God? Well they should! What good am I if I can't smite the characters who are threatening James and Lily? Anyhow, on with the review.

Again, you managed to come through with some really engrossing "nuts and bolts" situations in the midst of all the high-stress romantic drama created by Vile and her little plan. It really helps to ground all of the higher-level plot in the reality that we're still dealing with school-age kids trying to live their lives as normally as possible.

Before I got to the second scene of the chapter, Abigail would have been my first smiting victim, but by the time this chapter was over, her nonsense barely registers as smite-worthy. She's an arrogant, bigoted, pureblood supremacist who obviously hates James and Lily intensely now. But she's not very threatening in the great scheme of things. I liked the way that Lily and James handle her, though, and the way that her riot act serves to turn up the pressure another notch at a time when Lily already has too much on her mind.

The conversation between Lily and Mary continued to build toward the "moment" between James and Lily in the Heads' Quarters. Throughout the chapter, you did a really good job of selling the pressure that Lily feels to "cement" her relationship with James by taking the intimacy to the next level. Well, taking it up several levels, actually. She's trying to get ahead of the game.

I don't like Vile. This obviously isn't news to you, but it bears repeating. I want to smite her so badly! I'm talking old school, Greek gods chucking thunderbolts from the top of Mt. Olympus type smiting. Either that or turn Belle loose on her. Somebody, be they mortal or divine, needs to have a go at this girl and knock some sense into her. I loved how delusional you made her. The conviction with which she believes that James is simply going to dump Lily and fall for her, her misplaced hatred of Lily and this bizarre idea that she's somehow going to "run" Hogwarts after the current group of Seventh Years depart gave her something approaching a "Single White Female" level of creepiness.

Her situation plays right into Alrek's hands. Now we come to the recipient of smiting #2 that I wanted to hand out in this chapter. Durmstrang is still at it and now he's found a willing accomplice. There's not too much I can say about his conversation with Vile except that I thought it was brilliant the way that he's so creepy that even Vile, as messed up in the head as she is, notices that there's something seriously off about him. Of course, she's much to wrapped up in her own desires to seriously question it. Yep, she's still standing at the head of the Smiting Line, with Alrek on deck.

And that brings us to the most awesome part of the chapter. I ran the gamut of emotions in this section. At times I wanted to cheer for Lily and at times I wanted to give her a big sympathy hug. Her inner thoughts were beautifully done, the way that she keeps trying to convince herself that something that means so much to her and James is such an inconsequential thing. The planning that she had put into the evening also really helped to sell it. By the time she sat down on that couch with James, she had obviously convinced herself of what was going to happen, although I admit that I had my doubts. After what almost happened and didn't at the hotel, I just had a feeling that James wasn't going to let things happen like this, with Lily being an emotional nervous wreck. That said, I don't know how much longer the poor guy's control is gonna hold out.

I loved the way that Lily almost pulls it off before her nerves betray her. That was what really sold me on her intent.

James was brilliantly sensitive in this chapter. I mean way, way above and beyond the call of duty. You do realize, I assume, that most guys would not be able to see things for what they are the way that he does. Once Lily Evans was lip-locking them and crawling on top of them, most guys would lose the blood flow to their brains required to detect such nuanced indicators of her emotional state. ;)

The part where he gets a little mad at her -- maybe more than a little -- for doubting him was what kept James from turning into a complete... um, what's the male version of a Mary Sue? Well, whatever that word is, I felt like he was getting dangerously close to it until he got mad at her for doubting him. That's what really sold me on James Potter here. It's a perfectly natural reaction, especially when you consider that he's probably feeling very aroused and frustrated at that moment. Nice touch!

James exhaled, letting his head fall back against the cushion. "You're going to kill me one of these days. I don't know how someone can make a bloke feel so many things in less than an hour. We're not supposed to be able to feel this much, us guys. Not made for it." -- Amen, James. Amen.

"But you still love me anyway," James said, a cocky grin on his face. -- Genius! He manages to drop in the "L word" AND do it in such a way that he puts it in her mouth instead of his own.

... they never noticed a pair of green eyes watching them. -- Bad Jami! Bad!

I'm almost out of characters so I can't gush much. Suffice it to say that people -- me included -- love this story and really feel the emotional investment you've made in these characters. Anyone who acts as though you're being self-absorbed or snotty for loving the story as much as you do just doesn't get it. Until next time!

Author's Response: Hahah I'm not really sure where that title came from, but it felt right :P! Hahhhahaha NO Dan no smiting! As you know, they are all very important and play important roles and if you smite them that WON'T HAPPEN and things won't be pretty! Or they'll be prettier I suppose... but not realistic :P. Keep your pretend Hand of God put away, please!

Abigail, as you know, is still up in the air. I think I've finally come up with my solid plans for her, though those could change. I need her around for a bit longer before you smite her. :P. But you're right, in this chapter she's the least of what Lily has to deal with.

I'm trying to think which would be worse... sending a Greek god to chuck a thunderbolt at Vile or letting Belle loose on her. I have to say, I think she'd get a much more painless death if it was the thunderbolt option. Good thing Miss Isabelle is kept on a rather tight leash by the group :P

I really wanted to make it clear that Violet ... sorry, Vile.. did realize that Alrek didn't really feel right. But like you said, she's so wrapped up in her world and the fact that he's giving her a chance to get closer to what she wants, that she ignores that. She'll wish she hadn't very soon.

I think that James was definitely even more angry than he led on when he realized what was really going on. Nerves, he would be able to handle. He understands how new to this Lily is, and doesn't want to mess up what they've worked so long to build, but if he thought it was *just* nerves I'm pretty sure he'd have soothed those and carried on, but when he gets to the bottom it.. oh boy. Not a happy camper, our James.

Hhaahah I figured you'd like that line of James's. I do think he's a bit more emotionally in tune with other people. He's dealt with Sirius and his fits for years, and had the advantage of Olivia and William talking through things that most parents don't. But of course, he's still a guy and your species can only get so far :P

Hahhahah THANKS DAN for the last paragraph of this ♥ I definitely got over the level of upset I was at before, but I do hope that person realizes how ridiculous they sounded.

FLY SAFE, PLEASE!




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Review #17, by Courtney Dark 

25th May 2013:
Oooh, how very exciting! I'm actually reading and reviewing a chapter on the very first day it comes out! This is definitely unusual...

Anyway, this chapter was awesome, but that's obviously nothing new! I actually loved the section from Violet's point of view! She was still a complete...witch, but somehow she seemed nicer. No, nicers not the word - she definitely wasn't nice. I think somehow she seemed more human.

Wow. I just realized what a load of waffle that last paragraph was. Sorry about that, it's still early and I haven't had my peanut butter and honey on toast yet.

Okay, winding back up. I really liked the start of this chapter, because I don't think I've ever read about a Head Student meeting in any fanfiction but yours - and the start of this chapter just felt so...so Hogwartsy! I think that's what I love about your story most of all - that you haven't forgotten about the magic that is Hogwarts. The simple things like prefect meetings, classes and studying. And I'm glad that Lily put Abigail in her place!

Violet and Alrek! I am officially trembling in my boots! Nothing good can come out of those two plotting together - Alrek is one of the most creepiest people I have ever read, I have to say. Even Violet was uncomfortable around him, which is certainly saying something!

Naw, Lily and James! So many feels! Especially Lily feels - I absolutely adore the way you write her and I adored how nervous she was in this chapter. But I kinda have to agree with James - for someone who is so smart, she can be pretty thick. And I think James' reaction to Lily's little piece of Violet related news was perfect - I think this chapter showed very well how much he has grown up over his school years. In his fourth or fifth year, he definitely would not have been that mature!

I'm looking forward to the next u[date already!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!! I'm still in shock with how fast you read through this story. I might pick my jaw up off the ground eventually :P

I'm so happy you liked Violet's section. I don't want her to seem like she's just going after James for the sake of upsetting Lily, but that in her own obsessive way she really does have feelings for him and thinks Lily is the enemy. Ugh, being a teenage girl is hard. Haha. But she does need a dose of reality, that's for sure!

Waffle. That is definitely a new Britishism for me... haha!!!

It takes a lot of self control for me no to write more of these Hogwartsy moments. I'm always reminding myself of how long this story is and that I need to pick and chose, but I still can't resist including one every so often :P!

Hahah I fully agree with nothing good coming from those two plotting together. Violet's just to stuck in her own little selfish world to really analyze the situation...I think she may end up regretting that ;).

I'm so happy you liked Lily in this section!! I definitely wouldn't have allowed the full thing to follow through, but I did want to show Lily's insecurities revolving around what she and James have yet to do. But then the last thing I want to put across to any teenage girls reading this is sleeping with a boyfriend is the way to get him to stay with you, and we all know our little James cares about Lily too much to let her do something she may end up regretting. I swear, the man should have 'softie' written on his forehead :P!

Aww I'm so happy you're looking forward to the next update!!! And that you still like this story and aren't like THIS IS TOO LONG I'M DONE READING. Haha.

Thank you again for another brilliant review that put a huge smile on my face ♥


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Review #18, by ValWitch21 

25th May 2013:
GAH JAMI SO MANY FEELS AND I WISH I COULD STICK MORE E's THERE BUT I CAN'T SO JUST IMAGINE THEY'RE THERE OKAY?

*flails and flops down like a hippo on stilts*

Okay. I have a greek exam on Monday, the first one of a series that will determine my entire future, so yep, no pressure. If this review is sort of rambly it's because of the stress and the exhaustion and the chocolate I just had (thankfully I never drink coffee because otherwise I don't know how I'd live with myself).

ANYWAY. James being overprotective was so sweet, and Abigail completely deserved that. I loved the pragmatism of Lily's organisation, and the whole opening scene was wonderfully Hogwartsy.

Ooh, this will come as a surprise but I adored the scene in Violet's point of view! I'm a cynical person who enjoys a hefty dose of criticism and snideness, so her train of thought was particularly entertaining. And now she's being manipulated by Alrek... I should probably be sorry for the poor girl knowing what a horrid bloke he is, but Violet deserves being the pawn for once in her life. Also, more importantly, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? This does not bode well.

LandJ (I read that Land J the first time, I was a bit perplexed) fluff, baaaw &hearts Yes, I did really think you were going to use the Heads' Quarters for that, and the (generally silenced) morally upright part of me was squawking in absolute horror. But of course James is James and he respects Lily too much and nope -- which I totally approved of.

Yes, and about your beta. You should stop using his Friday evenings so he can write Detox instead! (except that would mean no more of this which would be sad and oh dilemma dilemma)

Fabulous chapter as always &hearts &hearts

(I think my absolute favourite part was Violet's comment about Belle's behind!)

Author's Response: Hi m'dear ♥ AH I'm so happy this chapter gave you feels!

Aww I hope you do well on your exams! And that BTF didn't distract you too badly from studying! You had your Greek exam yesterday, right?! How did it go?!

You know how much of a sucker I am for Hogwartsy scenes, haha! It's so difficult not to include more of them. Then I remind myself that this story is already way too long :P.

AH YOU USED CAPS WITH ME. Violet needs to grow up quite a bit and realize that her consequences have actions. So I don't feel too sorry for her either :P. I actually had fun writing in her PoV. I guess I needed to get some snarky out :P.

Woot I'm happy I tricked you! hahah! There was almost about to be a big thing happening in this chapter that starts with the letter L, but then it didn't feel write in the context of all the Violet talk :P. Also, the last message I want to send out with this story to any young girls reading it, is sleeping with a boyfriend is the right way to get them to stay with you. Of course Lily loves James and there's nothing wrong with her wanting to be with them, but under the circumstances and the thoughts that maybe this is necessary to keep them together -- no way jose.

Hahhah I think he's forever crossed Friday Nights off of his 'to write' list. Don't worry, I poke at him lots during the work day to get to writing, so that counts for something, right? :P

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! Thank you for another amazing review!! ♥


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