5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jess the Enthusiast 

24th September 2014:
Andromeda! Of COURSE! I don't know why I didn't think of her before, but she's the perfect person for Tor to talk to in a time like this. And I'm really hoping that Tor follows the same path.

We definitely saw a different side of Theo in this chapter! One that definitely makes him less desirable; I'm sad for him, though, because if he had the same guidance that Tor is receiving, he could be a really good person.

Great chapter! I hope Guinevere doesn't eat Lancelot!

Author's Response: Yes!! Hehe, I was wondering if people would guess or not but she is perfect for Tor since they have so many shared experiences and backgrounds.

Theo has changed quite a bit, or maybe Tor's seeing his darker side. Perhaps both. He's one of those characters who really unravels a lot at the end of the story, but he could be a good person, you're right. The potential is there, just not the opportunity.

Thank you!!! :D

 Report Review

Review #2, by Teddy1993 

18th September 2014:
There's a lot going on in this chapter, but it turned out alright. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. (Although I can relate :))

I didn't expect Ginny's name to be Andromeda, as they weren't close in the books. They didn't even meet for as far as I can remember. It's the perfect person to give Tor advice on the subject, however. I hope it can help her to make the right choice.

This was another amazing chapter. The story gets better and better. I wonder what you still have in store for me.

Author's Response: Hey hey!!

Aww, thank you! You're right, it's always best to be positive about our own writing though it is tricky sometimes. :)

I imagined that Ginny might have met Andromeda at some point through Tonks, or heard about her history from her mom (I imagine them getting close too for some reason :P). Andromeda is great for Tor since she can relate, and I can imagine her counseling Slytherin girls throughout the years, haha.

Thanks so much!! :D It's always so exciting to read your reviews and know you're liking the story!

 Report Review

Review #3, by nott theodore 

20th July 2013:
Hi darling! Every time I read a chapter of this story, I'm reminded how much I enjoy your writing and the characters you've created here.

I'm giving myself another congratulatory pat on the back for guessing that Ginny gave Tor Andromeda's name, since the two of them have a lot in common and their situations are very similar. Really, she's one of the only people who could empathise with what she's going through, and it would be good to see her in other chapters, still helping Tor in the future. I think Andromeda's reply to her letter helped bring home how difficult and dangerous this situation is for Tor, and what a difficult choice she may one day have to make. I'm kind of hoping that point will be far in the future, but even so, that won't make it any easier for her.

I loved the fact that the letter she wrote to Andromeda revealed that Tor is actually starting to notice the changes in herself, and even suggests that she's liking the person that she's now becoming and is beginning to embrace her - in secret, or in Terry's company, of course. She's becoming a lot more open-minded and interacting not only with people like Ginny and Terry, but also beginning to notice Muggles and their families a lot more. It's like her eyes have finally been opened to the fact that Muggles aren't the animals she's always been encouraged to believe they are, but are actually very similar to witches and wizards.

I find it a little surprising that Tor didn't recognise the name of Andromeda Tonks. I would have thought that her name would be broadcast among pureblood families as a perfect example of what their daughters shouldn't do, and that perhaps people like Yaxley would enjoy the fact that he had no familial connections to a blood traitor like the Blacks did. Although at the same time, the story could be hidden from them so that it seems impossible for them to escape the cycle.

The interaction between Malfoy and Tor was great to see, although their attitudes and behaviour are going to have to change a lot before they can end up (hopefully) happily married. It was interesting to see that Tor was able to note the changes in his appearance, since he's suffering the stress from the task he's been given. The casual remark about how similar he looks to Theo definitely makes me think that Theo is somehow getting involved in the Death Eaters. I wish they weren't all getting to that point so soon, trying to grow up too fast and only realising when it's too late that they can't back out now. I'm also a little worried about Tor - when Malfoy subtly hinted he might need help, her answer was rather ambiguous. I hope she doesn't end up getting involved in trying to find a way to get Death Eaters into the castle...

As for the Notts, I'm worried about them as well. I've already mentioned my suspicions about what Theo is getting up to, but I'm not entirely sure about Pyxis either. It was sweet of him to buy Lancelot for Tor, though - and I hope he and Guinevere become friends, rather than poor Lancelot becoming a snack!

The bit with the policeman was so funny. Of course Pyxis would have no idea that he shouldn't be carrying around massive bags of drugs! It made me laugh that the two underage characters were quicker to see a solution than the adult wizard. I want Pyxis to stop smoking drugs, but I am glad they got away.

This book seems very interesting! I'm wondering if, without knowing it, Yaxley has just handed his daughter a way to become more proficient at hiding her relationship with Terry? Hmm, I can only suppose that he wants Tor to protect her mind from Voldemort, but I hope her talents help her in the future.

As for the ending, that was very chilling and effective. I'm reading on straight away!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ah, I'm almost caught up with your amazing reviews! And then I guess I should work on the next chapter of my poor neglected story! :P

Okay, so this review is so long and thoughtful it's incredible, and very appreciated. I love hearing your thoughts and ideas, and it's so helpful to get this feedback on each chapter. You're basically the best, okay? :)

Haha you were very clever to think of Andromeda! It's true, they do have a lot in common and Tor's situation mirrors Andy's in a way, even if we don't know much about the former. I'm glad Andromeda's reply seemed to give more insight into how Tor is changing, and how difficult her situation truly is. I think you're right about Tor being more open-minded and how it's beginning to come out even if she doesn't always fully acknowledge it. Yes, she is more perceptive to Muggles and caring to understand things about them, and not only through Terry's eyes but on her own accord as well.

Hmm, I'm not sure if Tor would know the name! One thing which confuses me about the wizarding world and which is a bit unclear is how large the pureblood community actually is. She might have heard of the Blacks - actually, her yearmate Phin is related to them - but the Tonks part might not ring a bell. However, her parents definitely know about Andromeda, and might have some opinions on Tor corresponding with her... :P

I'm glad you liked seeing more of Malfoy! I quite enjoy writing him and Tor's general annoyance towards him. It's so awful how these kids are getting involved but for some of them maybe it's the wake up call they need to see that the pureblood outlook isn't as wonderful as it seems, especially when they go from leaving comfortable, pampered lives to being Voldy's tortured minions. I wonder if Malfoy would have helped Harry and changed after the war if he hadn't suffered under Voldy's regime? Okay, tangent. But yes, it would make sense from Malfoy's perspective for Tor to get involved, but she might not see it that way!

The Notts are in quite deep as well and you do well to worry about them! I'm glad you thought Pyxis and Lancelot were sweet as well, it was a spontaneous addition, maybe since I love the idea of a Pygmy Puff! They just sound so cute!

Haha I'm glad you enjoyed the scene with the policeman, it just showed how useless these sheltered kids are in the Muggle world. And yes, Tor and Pyxis are true Slytherins in their cunning ways! And being arrested would be quite difficult to explain.

Interesting prediction about the book! :) And you're right to wonder about her skill of mind control, and the effects it will have.

Thank you for this amazing review again, I really can't express how much they mean to me! :) I hope to update soon!

 Report Review

Review #4, by -BookDinosaur- 

16th May 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your criminally late review! I'm so sorry! :(

So, down to business. *cracks knuckles* I really, really like this story. A lot.

Just your first area of concern, the prologue flows really well into the actual story, so don't worry about that. :)

All the background you've added to the story makes it really believable and realistic, and I especially like your portrayals of the Death Eaters-they weren't all emotionless killing machines, only Voldy was. I loved the Yaxley-Greengrass twist you put in the story as well, all the small details in the story add up perfectly and there are hardly any gaps in your background story.

Your characterisation is also really good, I feel like I can hear Tor speaking to me and see her doing everything in the stoy, you've really managed to breathe life into her. But really, it's not just her, it's all your other characters as well, you've done a really good job characterising them.

I love the way you write Tor, I can really feel what she's feeling, the turmoil she has roiling around inside her and her newfound uncertainty of the world she's always lived in, I feel you just write that so, so well.

The flow was also good, if anything there were a couple of typos here and there that disturbed the flow a little, but nothing major.

I will admit, I was nervous at first of the romance you were writing here, the Romeo+Juliet-esque thing, I feel like every time that's written it turns the story into a mess of cliches, but you managed to pull it off really well, so well done on that. :D

Out of interest, how did Pyxis get hold a Muggle drug? I thought he was Pureblood?

I don't think Guinevere will eat Lancelot, I think they'll become great friends. He'll lure the mice out of their holes and she'll kill them. They will become the Unstoppable Mouse Killing Machine. ;D

Author's Response: Hi! Well, this review was certainly worth the wait! :)

It's lovely to hear that you're enjoying the story, and got to read it through in one go and give an overall opinion. It's very helpful to me to get this feedback!

I'm so glad you're liking the details that go into the background and bringing these characters into being. You're right, they're very diverse and nobody quite personifies good or evil. I'm glad you enjoyed the Yaxley addition, since I worried readers would just be confused.

I'm so thrilled that you like Tor as well! I've really put a lot of heart into giving her this personality and voice, and she feels real to me as well. :) Her inner turmoil is so central to the story, and very dynamic for me to write, so I'm really glad to hear it's coming across right.

I'm glad you thought the romance avoided cliches! I think it would have been more cliche if Terry was from a prominent family like the Weasleys, or was a really obvious Muggleborn presence in the Hogwarts community, but since he's kind of a nobody it's more original (or at least I hope so!). :) I wanted to show not so much forbidden love, but how Terry and Tor help each other to be more open-minded and accept other people.

Hmm, I think of Pyxis as being a lot more relaxed about pureblood values than Theo and some of the others. He gets the drug from a wizard supplier, I wanted to show how inter-connected the wizarding and Muggle worlds actually are. :)

Haha, that's an excellent prediction! I hope they'll become friends as well, I'm a huge fan of both of Tor's pets!! :D

Thank you for this really great review, I really appreciate it!! :) Hopefully you keep up with and keep enjoying this story!

 Report Review

Review #5, by marauder5 

15th May 2013:
You're not content with this? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to shower you with praise to make you realize how brilliant it really is! :)

Of course it was Andromeda!! Why didn't I think of her? They're in the exact same position, when you think of it. I hope she can help Tor in some way, because I feel really bad for her.

It was quite nice to see some interaction between Tor and Malfoy, actually. Even if it's still far off, they do have a future together. I guess Malfoy was acting strange because he was worried about his task - I felt really bad for him. Maybe Tor will be able to relate to him when she finds out, and that's how they'll connect. After all, their situations are quite simular as well. Both were born into pureblood families, but as Malfoy shows later on in the series, I don't think he really wants it either. Of course, Tor is way ahead of him in that development.

I guess the whole secret forbidden love thing is taking its toll on Tor and Terry, which is very understandable! It can't be easy. When you're in love you want to shout it out to the world, not hide it and pretend like it doesn't exist. Well, they'll have to cope. I hope they will, at least, but I have a hunch that someone will find out about them before they grow sick of always hiding their feelings. I guess we'll see.. ;)

I love how Tor starts to notice so many things about the Muggles, like the boy throwing himself into his mother's arms at the platform, and the kid who kept staring at the Pygmu Puff. It's like it's really hitting her now, the fact that Muggles aren't all that different from them. Those nice little details hints it in a subtle way that works perfectly!

I also really enjoyed reading about Tor and the Nott Brothers doing their Christmas shopping. I love the fact that Pyxis bought her the Pygmy Puff! I hope Guinevere doesn't eat it, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did. And then Theo went and acted strange again. When you wrote that thing about Malfoy reminding Tor of Theo, a thought hit me: is he doing something simular? For Voldemort? Hmm... I really want to find out what is up with him. He was so sweet in the beginning of this chapter, but something bad is definitely going on there.

Oh, and the police walking up to them: that made sense! Of course Pyxis wouldn't know anything about Muggle law. Even though I think he should stop doing drugs, I'm glad Theo finally got a hold of himself and helped them.

I also really enjoyed the fact that Yaxley gave Tor that book! In a way, he's giving her the information she needs to (possibly) save herself and Terry when people start to suspect something about them, and he doesn't even know it! He's helping his daughter continue her relationship with a Muggleborn (but I still think it will end very badly, unfortunately).

Andromeda's response to Tor's letter was really sweet and insightful. It must have been so hard for her...

Well, that last paragraph was a brilliant ending to make the readers want more! (But you already know that I want more) ;) You should absolutely be content with this! You packed so much into it, and all of it was good and relevant and interesting, and I'm still in love with this story! I already long for the next chapter and I hope it won't be too long! :) Keep up the wonderful work!

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, you are just too nice to me! :) Thank you for these wonderful comments, it definitely helped me feel better about this chapter.

Yes, I thought Andromeda would be a perfect confidant for Tor, since they were in very similar situations! Plus, I really liked Andromeda in the books from what little we saw of her, and thought that she and Tor would get along.

I'm glad you liked the interactions with Malfoy! He's actually a really entertaining character to write, and I hope he's staying true to canon, though a little more bearable. I think he and Tor have a lot in common as well, and that they (and the Notts and others) should learn to stick together instead of resenting and playing power games with each other! And yes, I wanted to give them some interactions because of the future they may or may not have... :P

I'm glad you liked the parts with the Muggles! :) It was fun to put there characters into Muggle London and switch up the setting a bit! And you're definitely right, not only has hanging out with Terry and Ginny opened Tor's eyes a bit, but they've made her want to be able to see other perspectives and become a more accepting person. And I'm glad you liked the shopping, it was fun to write and I was so excited to get Tor a Pygmy Puff! They remind me of slightly more intelligent and colourful hampsters. :)

And hmm, keep questioning what Theo does! :D And Pyxis. Tor is going to start paying more attention to their problems in future chapters as well.

That's a very good point about the book, and well, I can't say more about how it's going to end, but it makes me happy that you're wondering about it! :D

Thank you so much for another great review!!! :D I love writing this story and having your encouragement is just so lovely, so thank you!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review