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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal 

4th April 2017:
So I see Jim's issues with the press isn't a one time thing then. (Comparing the last chapter I reviewed and this one.) Decking a photographer while drunk never good. Of course I assume the photographer deserved based on Ginny's remark.

Anyway the rest of the chapter you really worked to ramp up the drama and tension pre-match. A missing captain who turns out to have a loved one in labor to a replacement captain freaking out about being captain such to the point that she vanishes. I almost makes one wonder if the match would actually happen and how the team would manage! Yet it all turned out and another victory was scored! Yay Falcons! Yay James! Of course I know it would happen because of the near end of the story.

I have to say I really am now wondering how Ryan went from being on the same team as James in these games leading up to the finals and yet played against him in the finals. I'm not a big sports person but generally the draft happens before the season starts and then players don't move teams until a new season. Of course I'm jumping around and missing information and that is fully my fault - maybe there are two seasons here or maybe it's something else, maybe I'll find out in a coming chapter that I read.

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Review #2, by adluvshp 

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin!

Ooh, another match chapter. James definitely needs to up his game this chapter owing to previous events so the way he felt was believable, like he owed it to his team and his loved ones to perform well. I like Ginny and how snarky she is, especially with the photographer comment and telling him he can have a little to drink if he likes. She is a cool and sensible mom at the same time xD

Your description of the entire match was pretty good. I could visualise it happening in front of my eyes, and i could feel James' frustration when the snitch wasnt being caught alongside him. His comments (in his head) about the madness of the seeker made me chuckle, especially considering his father was one too. but they fit in his personality.

The pace picked up really well towards the end and i could feel the energy of the match vibrate through the narrative itself. They finally won and then it's a girl - two awesome announcements coming together, the Jubilation felt by James was wonderfully conveyed. I also absolutely loved how that detail of him picking up Carla is what stuck in his mind the most, that he was happy that she was happy about his victory. That's a sure sign you're seriously in love! Totally shipping them.

cheers
angie

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Review #3, by onestop_hpfan18 

3rd August 2016:
Best chapter ending ever... so fluffy, yet you can't help but love James and Carlotta. Also, that was an intense match... I was on the edge of my seat while reading it, especially when James, Della, and Ryan were closing in around Eoin. Insane. Then that plunge between seekers, a race for the snitch, as everyone froze to watch. Madness. This chapter was brilliant and entertaining.

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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell 

2nd October 2013:
Hooray! I've been looking forward to this match all season...er, story. Gracious, but you really do write Quidditch so well. I feel as if I saw the whole thing!

Author's Response: It was great to finally get to this match, after all the build-up! I was really pleased with how it turned out in the end. Thanks again for all the reviews, it was so exciting to see so many! They really mean a lot, and it's really nice to know you're enjoying my fic :)

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Review #5, by Slide 

27th September 2013:
I know I keep saying this. But I do love the little details about the Quidditch league and rules and so forth. All so realistic. But then I guess that stuff's been in my head with the recent talk of a winter footie World Cup in a few years. But yes. It makes the world REAL. Little things.

Ha at Ginny. Reasonable words when expressing your dislike. I bet you're lying for your son's sake. We all know you, Ginny. Fiery temper. :D And then she says she's not sorry he lamped a photographer. See! It's good of James to consider his drinking, but Ginny's probably right - it's a bad habit in how he uses alcohol. He clearly CAN control his drinking. Also, he's 21. Gee, like he's the first 21 year-old in the world to get verrry drunk lots. At least he's being responsible.

Ooh, there's a Scorpius. Provocative Rose. I'm glad old habits don't die hard with Harry, I always find it hard to believe it ever becomes sunshine and daisies with Draco and so there'd need to be a reason for them to be at least not awkward with Scorpius. And a Charlie! The eternal bachelor. Glad he's made a cameo.

Poor Brigid. Re: Freddie, re: Ingrid. She's a good sort, I always do feel sorry for her in these situations. She does get the short end of the stick. But perseveres! And then Freddie goes and is adorable. *facepalm*

And no Alfie. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Good on Sophie for stepping up to the plate. Perhaps for the best she got no notice, poor girl, now she just has to focus on doing the job instead of freaking out. And evidently is up to the task!

Oh HELL Della isn't. Did not see THAT coming. But then this was going to get the best of someone, these last minute changes. Oh, phew, Ryan saves the day. That was very sweet.

I'm pausing reading the beginning of the match to say this is SUPER tense. Like, woah. Good job building the tension. And then, hee! The Bagmans pull through, of course! And Della's right to make them play it properly from here, it IS a questionable tactic even in a world of magic medicine!

Mrfle. They win. Of course they win, but ALL THE FEELS.

Author's Response: League shortening and whatnot. Done accidentally, because I gave NO thought whatsoever towards an actual calendar and schedule when I started writing this fic, and by the time I DID it was too late to change it. That's probably the biggest thing I'd change if I had the opportunity, because in a lot of ways it's a pointless occurrence. BUT it does have a real-life comparison I suppose, THANK YOU FIFA for being so corrupt and useless.

Definitely not sunshine and daisies with Weasley/Malfoy relations. More teasers - that becomes relevant in Derailed as well. Aaaand Charlie, because I feel bad when I forget about him. Brigid ... I am cruel to her. Poor thing. One day, my plot threads will be nice to her. I think. Not promising anything.

The Alfie storyline is purely here to allow me to write that Ryan/Della moment. Utter self-indulgence I will admit, but then extra drama can never be a bad thing. Plus it reminds us that Ryan/Della is a relationship that is not happening yet. Those poor Murphy kids.

Glad to know you like the tension building, sometimes it's hard to gauge whether I'm going OTT or being too blase with it. And THEY WIN. Of course they do. Cheers for the review :)


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Review #6, by CharliesRose 

6th May 2013:
YAAAY! They won! I'm so hapy I can't even think straight. It's all good and happy-ever-after-ish... there is going to be a happy ever after right? Because if there isn't I'm going to cry and that won't be very good for anyone right...
Ok well as usual, I don't even know why I bother saying this time after time, but your writing is amazing and inspiring and I honestly wish I was as good as you. You make it sound believable, like it's really real. It's just so good. And you seem to think it out so well, like the whole match - it was very sweet that Della got captain, very believable too, - it flowed and it made sense and it was really good.
And your characters are just so loveable and amazing, and Carla, I am sososo happy that she and James are together, it makes me smile.
Anyway that's all from me, well done for your incredible writing and update soon.
~Char

Author's Response: I couldn't possibly whether there will be a happy ever after or not ... but I can say there's another eighteen or so chapters to go before any sort of ending, so we've got a bit more to go yet! I'm also planning a sequel, so if there is a happy ending it may be short-lived ;)

Della getting the captaincy was snuck in for the opportunity it provided Ryan to be a total babe. But it also let me expand on her character a bit (as well as making things more dramatic, of course) so on the whole I'm glad you liked that bit. The match was a nightmare to write, but I'm pleased with how it turned out in the end. I'm really glad you're enjoying this fic, thanks so much for your lovely review! Next chapter is in the queue :)


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Review #7, by nott theodore 

5th May 2013:
James is such a real character that it's really hard not to like him, even after seeing the terrible way he behaved to all his family and friends and the reporters. I think it's great that you can see such an obvious change in him from the very beginning of the story - quidditch used to be the main focus of everything in his life, while everything else was a pleasant distraction. Now he has multiple things that are important to him, and that's made him even more likeable as a character.

I love the idea of Harry and Ginny taking bets on whether Carlotta would be there with James. It's something I can definitely imagine them doing - in fact, I can imagine the whole family running sweepstakes on it. It's great to see that James not only shares this ritual with his mother, but his father and girlfriend now too.

Another thing I enjoyed was the way we got to see more of his family here - even Uncle Charlie, who knows James is settling down, no matter how much James tries to deny it. The bit where Freddie introduced Carla to Ingrid and Mark was a nice touch, too. Even if Brigid doesn't forgive him and they don't end up together, I can see them starting to at least communicate properly in the near future.

The build-up to the match was so tense. James feeling nervous and freely admitting to it - no matter how good you are, when your game has such an important result at the end of it, there's no way you're not going to be nervous - and then Alfie having to pull out of captaining at the last minute, leaving Della to take over. No wonder, with all that pressure on her, that she turned into a nervous wreck and had some sort of breakdown!

The match itself was intense and really well written. I liked the fact that while we knew they were planning to take out one of the Lynch brothers, you left out the details about how it would be achieved, so there was still something new for us to read as we saw that plan played out. Della's decision not to take out their seeker was the right one, I think; they wouldn't have seemed very sporting to 'kick the man while he's down', so to speak. Not many people can manage to write quidditch as excitingly as you, and I'm really pleased that the Falcons won the league!

Another great chapter and I'll look forward to the next update! I'm guessing the Weasley dinner (which Carla has to go to) and maybe Lily's dance are next?

Sian :)

Author's Response: There was definitely a positive effort to make James as likeable as possible before his little breakdown, so that people wouldn't completely hate him even while he was being so horrible to his family. He's probably the most developed character I've ever created for a fanfic; I have a fully formed image of him in my head, more so than possibly any other character including those from canon, and he's definitely my personal favourite. So it's really nice to know that other people share my love for him, and it's also reassuring to know that his character is coming across in my writing. :)

The breakfast ritual serves to show how James' priorities and relationships have changed over the course of the fic; it's a literary metaphor, if you will. And that's enough pretentiousness for the day! I get far too much amusement out of writing a post-war Harry/Ginny, because I think they'd be ridiculously laid-back and playful. Of COURSE they place bets on their kids :)

Alfie pulling out was done purely for the opportunity it provided to stick a bit of Ryan/Della development in. James' nerves can sometimes be hard to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed that. And the match itself was a nightmare to write! I left out the detail of the Falcons' game plan before because I didn't HAVE one, their tactics came from nowhere and so when I sat down to write the match, I first of all had to figure out how the heck they were going to actually go about doing it. It was proving hard until I remembered I had a third dimension to play with! And the Falcons were always going to win, weren't they? ;)

Next chapter is in the queue - the Weasley gathering is included, and Carlotta is of course there - but it doesn't quite get to Lily's school dance! That's the chapter after. :) Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by missclaire17 

4th May 2013:
I freaking LOVED this chapter!
All of the intensity when it came to the match and how Della had a breakdown too because she was forced to become captain since Alfie wasn't going to be there. AND the fact that Alfie LAST-MINUTE couldn't make the game was just INTENSE!
Not to mention the actual game itself and trying to take out one of the Lynches.

I love how incorporated Carlotta is with James's family; the bit with Charlie was so funny when Charlie confronted James about it and how Carlotta was so fascinated with dragons. Molly Weasley would have a complete fit if James didn't invite Carlotta to their Weasley lunch; it seems like exactly the type of thing that Molly would do xD

I loved this chapter!!! It was a great update(:

Author's Response: I must confess, Alfie's no-show was totally contrived (mind you, isn't everything in fiction contrived? But I digress) so that I could move the Ryan/Della storyline on a bit, and I think it also develops Della's character a bit. I certainly enjoyed writing it! But on the whole it's really reassuring to know you enjoyed the match because it really was a slog to write!

I'm a bit concerned of running the risk of almost 'forgetting' that Carlotta is a Muggle - just because she knows about James' world doesn't mean she's suddenly going to become fully integrated into it, she's always going to be coming across new concepts. And for her, it must be the most bewildering thing in the world to meet a dragon-keeper! She's definitely incorporated in the sense that she gets on with his family and vice versa, but it will take a while for her to become fully accustomed to being in the magical world, and the next few chapters in particular have a bit of focus on that. Thanks for reviewing! :)


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Review #9, by ellen-may 

4th May 2013:
heya,
i absolutely love this story!! and am always in anticipation waiting for the next chapter to come out haha!!
i love the way you contain drama to a certain extent to make the story interesting, but don't overdo it- so please keep that up!!
i also love both Carlotta and James.. oh and the twist with Lily (i won't mention in case aspiring readers look at this review!! haha) was executed perfectly :) so thumbs up :P
please keep up this fab story :)

Author's Response: Haha, sometimes it can be hard to judge what drama counts as being overboard, so I'm glad you're finding it all realistic! I do actively try not to throw too much left-field stuff in because it's the kind of thing that puts me off in a story. It's especially good to know you like Lily's storyline! Thanks for reviewing :)

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