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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by happiestlittlelobster 

23rd January 2015:
Forgive me, this isn't a specific chapter review. This is my first review, but I've been reading as many chapters a night as I can manage for the past few days. I just wanted to say that your characterization throughout is brilliant and really well-done. I love how you structured the chapters to incorporate little details that show how the relationship dynamics are changing and the students are growing up. For example, every once in a while we'll get a thought from James or Lily about sex (bc they're teenagers, of course!). Or a moment of sadness from Lily via her blanket that lets us know, though not explicitly, that she is still having nightmares about the events of the last 6 months. Or McGonagall will make a passing comment about Alice and detention to Lily/James which is probably Order/Auror business. Even Moody's recent comments about "his aurors", it all flows really well, sounds entirely realistic, and is well-organized.

It's so enjoyable coming home from my day to move a little bit farther in their story.

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you're enjoying this!! Knowing it's something you look forward to really means a lot to me! Thank you for putting a huge smile on my face with this review :)!!
-Jami


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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

22nd January 2015:
ďI think the fact that we can hurt this badly for people weíve never met is whatís going to eventually make our world better.Ē

^ Like I wasn't crying already because of McGonagall being injured. WHY! Why would you do that to me?

Dumbledore is one bad apple man. He can do anything. Most powerful wizard proof right there, fighting off all the Death Eater's and saving my favorite Professor all in one go. You know if Rowling killed off Minnie in the books that's one death I would never forgive her for.

Of course I don't forgive her for Sirius either.

Years later and I'm still not over it.

(And Dobby! WHY!)

I liked how you opened the chapter because I was expecting a fluffy chapter with an annoyed Sirius that would end up happy from the snogging and flirting he would have with Belle. I figured Lily and James would also have some alone time but I knew we wouldn't see Remus or Peter on their dates.

I should have known something was up though with Sirius's mood. You know what I like though? Sirius can change his tone instantly. He knows what matters. He was being a brat in the opening of the chapter but once things started to go down, and the thought of Lily and James in danger again, he pushed himself to the side and got ready to do whatever he had to do. I also liked that he swallowed his pride though it was hard to protect Belle and let her come with him and though he didn't want to leave her alone and was hesitant he would have trusted James's judgement and let her search Hogsmeade herself. That speaks volumes of their friendship.

Does our friend Al, the angry Ravenclaw, mean Bellatrix or Lily? As in he wants to get Bellatrix and make her hurt or he wants to be successful and get Lily to prove how worthy and strong he is. That wasn't completely clear to me.

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Review #3, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Ah, I loved the way that you wrote Sirius at the beginning of this chapter. He was so moody and angsty and acting as if he was trying to be all defiant, even though he had nobody to really defy. It made me laugh a bit actually, but I really liked reading him like that - he had no idea why he felt that way but obviously it's because Belle means so much more to him than any girl has before and he was nervous about the way that Valentine's Day with her would go. I kind of wanted to give him a hug, but at least she made him realise that she wasn't going to try and make him do anything he doesn't want to, like go to Madam Puddifoot's! And I love the idea of Belle running a bookshop!

Then when the attack came everything seemed to escalate very quickly. They all had a nice, undisturbed Christmas Day so I suppose it was too much to expect the same for Valentine's! But I really liked the way that you wrote it because I could sense the chaos and confusion about what was going on, as well as the fear. Poor McGonagall! And I absolutely loved Peter in that scene when he suggested taking her food or something, that was so cute!

Ugh, Alrek. I really don't like him, he's so awful. Why can't he just leave them all alone?!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #4, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

28th June 2013:
How I have I fallen so far behind?!? It's so absurd I can't even talk about it so I might as well get right to the review :P

I really liked this angry Sirius. He's got a great Harry-during-OotP feel about him -- angsty without really understanding why. The other characters have shown a wide range of emotion: fear, sadness, grief, love, shame, regret. But Sirius really is the only one who brings any real rage to the table. It's subtle but it's there in his short temper and snarky remarks. So often he's relegated to the playboy or jokester role, and I think there is a lot of that in him too -- a real disregard for the rules and consequences -- but with the anger, it puts all of that other behavior in a totally different light. It goes from carefree to a mask for hiding his true feelings.

Lol, okay. That wasn't really what you mentioned as an AoC in this scene at all. Ooops!! But I do think your reasoning for his anger came through as well. In addition to simply channeling his anger regarding other issues into this one area, he's also being very much a teenage boy here. He has feelings for Belle he isn't able to fully verbalize and process. He's scared how much he likes her and he's acting out. It's perfectly childish and a wonderful addition to his character.

I thought the attack was great, but more than that, I like the perspective you wrote it from. You could have written from McGonagall's perspective, or have had the students more directly involved, but I liked the way this one was kept at more of a distance. Too much direct fighting and it could start to weaken the impact of later battle/attack scenes.

Speaking of this scene, I LOVED Sirius's line: Fine, stick with me and don't get yourself killed (there may be a typo in the line though. I can't tell if I wrote it down wrong or it had the word 'we' instead of 'with'). It makes me think back to that line on the train when James says something to Sirius like, "We aren't going to do it this way." It was so cool and commanding and such a perfect capture of his character. I thought this line did the same for Sirius. A brave but reckless smart mouth, with a hint of some that could be humor or else something much darker. Brilliant!

Oh, and just a random thought. I loved the way McGonagall burst into the hall with the "Get to the Gryffindor tower" line. It was great the way you lulled us into a quiet moment and then BOOM! sent the scene in a totally unexpected direction.

For me, everything about Lily's section was perfectly in character. Staying behind to make sure the younger students were safe seemed like exactly the sort of thing she'd do. Not exactly as dangerous as running into the battle, but a calculated risk where she put others before herself in a way that even the teachers couldn't argue with. And that moment between her and Slughorn was perfect. She really does know how to play him, but in an innocent and harmless sort of way.

Wow! Alrek's creep level just climbed up about 100 points. Until now, he seemed like just another Death Eater wannabe, special only because of the danger he poses to the character we like. But in this scene, it's clear there is something much more dark and sinister inside of him, like maybe he didn't join the DEs just because he believed in the cause, but because he's got some serious craziness of his own inside him and murdering muggles and non-purebloods is just an outlet for it all. Creepy!

My only suggestion on that last scene is to maybe take a second look at the opening transition. It's a little abrupt. And you "lose" the setting near the end. It all becomes totally internal. I like that the scene is short -- like a ominous cutaway in a movie -- but even 3 or 4 lines might just round out the whole thing a tad more. Oh, and the opening to Lily's section. You might want to add the words "the next morning" after breakfast or something. Maybe it was just me, but I was confused for a minute since I thought we were still on the same day as the attack, and I was like, but didn't everyone just have breakfast?? :P

I'm aiming to keep this under the limit so that's it for now aside from typos. I'm so, so sorry I've gotten so behind. I'm really hoping to play some major catch-up in the weeks to come. I want to be able to celebrate with you in real time when you finish the story!!!

-- Just because it was the Valentine's Hogsmeade didn't mean he had to get all dressed up. (Valentine's trip to Hogsmeade or Valentine's Hogsmeade trip...?)

-- He moved the faded, worn pair of jeans to the side and grabbed the newer pair and that didn't look quite so aged. (newer pair that didn't look)

--He rubbed his fingers over face (over his face)

--"Impressive," Belle said as a the passage opened. (as the passage)

-- "Remember Lily," James continued, glancing at her (Remember, Lily)

-- Each second that ticked away with no word on their professors condition. (professor's)

-- Now, please enjoy your breakfast and let the events of the past twenty-four hours serve as a reminder both of the dangers that we face the benefits of facing them together (we face and the benefits)

-- "...I vill be seeing you in Charms," with a wave goodbye, he stood from the table. (he said with a wave goodbye as he... OR ...Charms. With a wave goodbye, he stood...)

Author's Response: Becky! I'm hanging my head at how long this response has taken. I should get grounded. With chocolate. And my computer. yes, that would teach me! :P

That's my thoughts exactly on Sirius. I think too much he's portrayed as nothing but carefree and play boy-ish, which of course is good, but there just seems like there needs to be something else under there. He's been through way more than people his age, and there's no way someone who's grown up in the world he has is just carefree. He doesn't have the same kind of hold on his emotions the way James does. In my head, their bromance sort of balanced. His anger is wild and uncontrolled, where as James's is quiet, silently but deadly. Okay. moving on. Haha. It's almost midnight, so I may be rambly.

I'm so thrilled with your comments about Sirius's anger and the reasoning. That's exactly what I wanted, to show he's scared with how much he's like her and is having a hard time accepting it. Poor guy, such a big baby.

I used to try really hard to figure out whose eyes I wanted a scene through. Which is my own fault for wanting to feature them so heavily. but it's seemed to get easier to let it just play out. I'm not sure if it's always best, but it seems to work okay :P And exactly what you said about later battles and attacks. I want there to be plenty of seriousness in this, but they aren't in the war the way they will be soon, and I want that world to be shocking, not to feel just like it was at Hogwarts.

You're making me so feelsy about Sirius right now. I'm so excited about your comments. I have this idea of him but never know if I really get it through, and you're making me feel like I am. THANK YOU.

Hehehe creepy little Alrek. I'm really happy that he sort of came into his own craziness in this chapter. I've been trying to figure out where I can make that clear, that he's his own little evil, and worried about tacking it onto here. I used your suggestion to add a bit to hopefully smooth his section, and I can't say I'm anything but thrilled that you picked up his more sinister side! And I totally picked up what you meant about him sort of floating off into nowhere land. Haha! Thank you for pointing that out!

Okay, I don't even know if I've made sense. I tried, but your reviews turn me to mush. So, if this didn't make sense, I think we know who's really to blame!

And thank you for the typo!!! One day, I'm going to give you a chapter without even one! :P

THANK YOU ♥


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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

25th May 2013:
Hi Jami :)

So... Valentines day right? What on earth can go wrong...

Okay I loved the first section. Sirius getting all worked up about Belle. You've used his intense personality to fit the situation at hand and it was quite sweet to see him this worked up. It shows how much he really cares about Belle and this relationship.

Oh the two of them are so cute for each other! I was always so taken with your Lily and James and then these two have just come in and completely taken over at the moment. Sirius offers her what he thinks she'll want for a Valentines day but Belle gives an option that is so much better suited to the two of them. You've made these two into such an amazing couple Jami. It's breaking my poor heart to know it's not going to last.

And you have to remind us again how close danger is lurking! Instead of giving us happy happy valentines day you give us some action! Not that I'm complaining in the slightest.

I have to say Belle is amazing if she can run properly in high heels at all, never mind on the stone floors of Hogwarts, which I can't imagine being the most perfect of surfaces! Then she comes through again, when they go to Hogsmede. She has the ability to plan ahead and think quickly which Sirius tends to lack. I was kind of worried we were going to end up in the middle of another argument between Sirius/Belle. I see why Sirius finds it hard to let her go, being scared of loosing her and all but I hope he learns to eventually, like James. Both Lily and Belle are such strong witches and can definitely hold their own.

I love that Remus and Peter snuck out as they were worried about the other two. That was just perfectly in character for them to me and yeah, I just loved it.

Poor McGonagall! She does take some hits bless her. I was pleased to hear she was recovering well though.

You got the fact the ministry was hushing up all the events in well there. It's annoying to read that's what they are doing, but of course, we know that is what they did do. I can imagine Alice and Frank taking the news of the Aurors the worst.

Oh, you've put Mr Potter right back to the top of my list. He's so lovely with Lily and it just makes my heart melt. I hope they do kind of get to follow their dreams, even though I know the chance are slim. I just want them to be as happy as they can possibly be before the inevitable happens.

Eugh - can something happen to Alrek soon please? He annoys me so much! He's obviously feeling some hate towards Lily right now, I really just want for him to be stopped in his tracks - and soon!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren!! ♥ your first sentence of this chapter cracked me up. With me, anything can go wrong :P

I'm so happy you liked Sirius's first section. I didn't want to give the impression that he was jut fitting into the slot of boyfriend as easily as could be, so it was fun showing that he still struggles with caring about her as much as he does.

I'm so happy you picked up on Belle having the ability to plan ahead where as Sirius sot of just rushes in and figures he'll fight of anything bad. I have so much fun meshing their personalities. Similar as they are sometimes, it's fun to find the differences.

I struggled with deciding between having the Ministry hush up events or not. It seems like, in the past, it's taken a lot for the Ministry to finally face the problems. We'll see a change in leadership very soon, actually ;).

I know what you mean about wanting to see them as happy as possible before the inevitable happens. I'll try to make that happen, I promise!

Well, if it helps, your wish about Alrek might jut happen ;). *Zips lips*

THANK YOU for another amazing review, Lauren! I know how busy you are, and i can't even tell you how grateful I am that you're taking the time to keep reading this ♥


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Review #6, by ValWitch21 

24th May 2013:
AND CONGRATULATIONS LOVE! I said I'd be getting this one.

I can't believe it's been so soon after review 500, and I'm so happy I got down to reading this in the first place. You deserve each of the reviews you get, each of the nominations, recommendations, favourites, you name it -- even though some people have said otherwise (yes, I have seen that review). I can't believe we're so near to the end of book one already...

&hearts &hearts &hearts

Author's Response: VAL. I know I shouldn't be responding to this out of order, but I have to anyway. THANK YOU. I'm so honored that you wanted to be number 600, and still shocked that I've reached that number. I'm so, so lucky that you started reading this story, and absolutely cherish each and every review you leave me.

THANK YOU, you beautifully, amazing girl, you!



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Review #7, by Courtney Dark 

12th May 2013:
This was definitely not what I was expected for this chapter - it was 100 times better!

I loved that we got to have a little of Sirius's point of view at the start because I always enjoy his perspective. I love how stressed out he was getting at the prospect of going on a date with Belle, and worrying how high her expectations would be. And then he sees her just wearing plain trousers and a jumper - I could practically see him breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Poor Professor McGonagall! She actually often seems to be injured, protecting the people she cares about at Hogwarts - I hope she gets wells soon!

Love how protective Sirius is of Belle - I definitely think he forgets that she is perfectly capable of looking after herself sometimes, like we saw when she disarmed Bellatrix.

And Lily was so...Lily-ish, wanting to stay in Hogsmeade and make sure all the younger students were safe. I have to admit, I quite enjoyed Slughorn in this chapter - that description of him half waddling half running was perfect, and I got a very vivid image of him in my head

Grrr, Alrek! He's quite an unnerving character, actually, the way he is so cold and distant and focused on only one thing. I just hope that he gets caught out soon!

I'M ON TO THE LAST CHAPTER NOW! THIS FEELS SO WEIRD!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Courtney! I couldn't just give them a nice afternoon in Hogsmeade, now could I? :P

I struggle not to give Sirius too much PoV time. He's just so much fun to write, but I'm constantly reminding myself that this is more James and Lily's story than anyone. I'm so happy his relief was evident once he realized that Belle hadn't sprouted a tiara over night :P

I always try and remind myself that Slughorn isn't a bad guy. He always just sort of got on my nerves, more in the movies than the books, but I try and write him more humorous than anything. I'm really glad he played that part well in this chapter. Waddling is a gross word, isn't it? haha

I know I can't believe how quickly you got caught up! Really, can't I just reach through the screen and hug you?!

♥ Jami


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Review #8, by Ginny Weasley 

4th May 2013:
I am no joke waiting g on my kindle for the next chapter. Do not rush though. Your system is perfect. This is no joke this best fan fiction ever. No. It is not even a fan fiction any more. When I read this, I feel like I am reading a prologue to Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling herself! Keep up the fantastic work. Oh, and by the way... IT'S THE FINAL COUNT DOWN! #do do do do do do do do do do do do do do# THE FINAL EIGHT CHAPTERS, IF YOU TOLD ME THE TRUTH...;)

Author's Response: I'm so terrible :(. I made a post on the forums but you obviously don't have an account. I got really ill this week though and just couldn't write anything. I tried really hard, but between being sick and trying to go to work, nothing would come out right. Updates will be back to normal next Saturday and I promise no more missing updates!

Okay the count I gave you last time was wrong. Well, sort of. It's either eight more chapters or nine more. I just went back over my break down and realized I probably needed to break one chapter into two because of how much has to happen in it. But either way, we have less than ten left! Eeek!

Thank you so much for being such an awesome reviewer, and again I'm so sorry about not getting today's chapter posted :(. I'm feeling much better though and will not let any more slip!


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Review #9, by soufflegirl99 

4th May 2013:
This chapter is so moving - Belle and Sirius are such a cute couple, and James and Lily are such awesome people! This chapter was definitely not too long - I was captivated and so gripped by it, I didn't even realise the length, haha.
I love how grateful Lily is for Mrs. Potter, and everything. It was really touching how appreciative she was, and I loved the last paragraph in her view, because it made me be all reflective and feel grateful of my own life! The words James says to Lily brought tears to my eyes, ďI think the fact that we can hurt this badly for people weíve never met is whatís going to eventually make our world better.Ē, that's so wise and insightful!
I love how Sirius thinks Belle wants to go somewhere fancy, and then she's really down to earth and wants to go to Honeydukes. That was such a sweet touch, and really adds more depth to Belle. I think that was an awesome little detail that showed us just how well they get on as a couple, and also how actually relaxed Belle is around Sirius!
Grrr Alrek just got me punching the screen! I loved the way you wrote the last section in Alrek's perspective - you write his bitter thoughts so well - and the you built up the tension really well with the stricture, it was formatted like his thoughts.
The last line is so suspenseful! I can't wait till the next chapter eeekk!

Author's Response: Hi Sophie!! ♥

I'm so relieved you didn't think this was too long. I don't know how the word count gets so away from me.

Awww I'm so happy you liked James's bit in the final section. And I hope they were happy tears!

Sirius's bad mood was so much fun to play with, then when I got to show what Belle actually wanted to be doing and Sirius realized his bad mood was all for nothing, I just had to giggle. He's such a complicated little creature, that Sirius Black.

Alrek's section was one that I really enjoyed writing just to get us back into the bad guy sides of things and show us that he's really not doing well. Though I can't say I feel bad for him :P

Thank you so much for another really awesome review, Sophie ♥ I'm so spoiled by you!


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Review #10, by CambAngst 

30th April 2013:
Hi, Jami! Hope you make it through this without falling asleep. ;)

I loved the first section with Sirius. He isn't adjusting well to this whole "boyfriend" thing. You do such a great job of capturing the flip side of his intense, obsessive personality. Sometimes it's humorous, like this chapter. Sometimes it isn't pretty, like when he tries to attack Regulus. Sometimes it's painful to watch, like when he confesses his role in the Evans's death. Throughout it all, you've been consistent in showing the ups and the downs of being Sirius Black, without glossing over the bad parts.

Good food, a beautiful girl, and some snogging. It all sounded brilliant, so why was he stomping about acting like he couldn't stand the thought of it? -- Poor Sirius. He's so unaccustomed to good things happening that they make him feel uneasy. You did a good job of capturing all of his jitters, and the way he reacts to those feelings of unease is classic Sirius. Pretending that he doesn't care or need anyone else ia a perfectly natural reaction for a guy who spent most of his life putting up walls to protect himself from the people who were supposed to care about him.

He'd never tried to impress anyone, not willing to cover up the rougher edges of himself. But still, the idea of Belle being unhappy with their plans for the day had caused a sort of cold dread in the pit of his stomach, even if he didn't want to admit it. It wasn't fair that the girl could get under his skin the way she did. -- That's how love works, my friend. It's hard to pretend that you don't care when you actually do. :)

Belle really is perfect for him, isn't she? In short order, she puts a goofy smile on his face, sets his mind at ease and decides on a way to spend their day that's much more in line with what he wanted to do in the first place.

Then things get tense... Among the many things that Sirius Black doesn't deal well with, the possibility of losing anyone that he genuinely cares about is pretty high up on the list. It sends him into a very irrational mode. Fortunately, he has Belle there to watch over him and keep him more on the level than he might otherwise be. I am so impressed, by the way, that Belle is able to run like that in heels! Especially across an old castle floor that's probably made of slightly uneven flagstones. I think it's fair to say that a lot of people would have been on their way to the hospital wing with some combination of a broken wrist, ankle or face before they got anywhere near the one-eyed witch.

He took a breath, trying to think. "We should be hidden enough with the Disillusionment charm. If we get up there and something is wrong, if they - the Death Eaters - have taken over, just get back into the tunnel and run."

"Not until we find ze group."
-- Silly Sirius, when are you going to learn? I loved every moment of Belle throughout their entire adventure. She's bold, brave and motherly. Also very clever when it comes to planning ahead, which obviously isn't his strong suit. They compliment one another so well.

Dumbledore... wow! I love it when he delivers one of his grand displays of magic on an unimaginable scale. If I was following the events correctly, he shielded himself and possibly the village, then unleashed a barrage of offensive magic against the Death Eaters? Awesome stuff. Marauders stories need more of that.

Sirius's parting thoughts continued to build on the running theme of the chapter. He has a problem treating Belle as an equal, but I don't think it's because he doesn't think of her that way. He's over-protective and scared to lose her. The funny thing is that I'm sure James feels exactly the same about Lily. He just conceals it better in the heat of the moment.

I felt terrible for Lily and the others as they waited things out at breakfast. The tight relationship you've created between McGonagall and her students isn't something I see very often in Marauders fics, and I really like it. Her strong personality adds to the story in so many ways. She helps to balance out Dumbledore and his rather laissez faire approach to the health and safety of his students.

It's sad to see the Ministry turning a mostly blind eye to the reality of Voldemort's rise, but it fits well with what we know of the historical details and the way that the Ministry has always been portrayed to work. I liked the various theories about why the Ministry wasn't doing anything, especially Frank's.

"But then I think about Bellatrix. The way she looked at me, at both of us, and I realize people like her don't do both. They don't just work by day and go murder people by night. It's everything to them." -- Lily hit on a really good point there. Dumbledore's Order will always be at a disadvantage in that way, because their goal is to be able to live normal lives. So when they're not fighting Death Eaters, that's what they do. They go to work or to school and lead normal lives. Sigh. That was depressing to realize.

Durmstrang. Grrr... I want to throttle him, but since I can't, it's nice to see that his carefully manicured facade is starting to unravel. He doesn't seem to be able to pay attention to people very well. I though it was grimly amusing that he actually checked to see that her bloodline was pure, even though he's just dating her to maintain appearances. If you're gonna be a lunatic, I guess you might as well be thorough. Ooh, and the Dark Lord is still making him pay for the fiasco in Swansea. Unlike Bellatrix, he doesn't seem to welcome the pain.

He's scary, though. He's been subjected to enough brutality at this point that I imagine he's capable of doing some pretty awful things and feeling no remorse. Good thing that Lily and the others are onto him.

So many neat things happened in this chapter! Sirius and Lily are both feeling so well-rounded after the past few. I can't wait to see who you focus on next!

Author's Response: Dan! Midnight reviewing answering.

Sirius has so many sides, and I feel like including those is such a fun part about writing him. Especially in this situation where it's not angry Sirius but bratty Sirius. Although Angry is still really fun to write..

He really isn't adjusting well to the bf thing, but at the same time I don't think anyone expected him too. He has his friends and his basically adopted parents, but to step out past that and really get close to someone like Belle, and understand that he can get close to her while still being himself, is so much harder. Poor guy just needs a cuddle.

Belle is a woman of many talents. And I think we're both aware that I've translated that talent of mind directly too Belle, so I'm going to take your comment about being impressed as a personal one ;).

Yes, you followed Dumbledore's actions perfectly! It's fun to think about the ways he may have been different fifteen years prior to meeting the HP group.

I think you're exactly write about James and Sirius's actions. James knows Lily can protect herself, but he also knows he couldn't handle losing her. He's realized though he has a better chance of getting them out safely if he just goes along with what she wants and he can still keep an eye out for her. Sirius doesn't think about that. Instead he would spend ten minutes arguing with Belle about it if the group wasn't there, and by that time they could have both been finished.

I don't think I meant to give then such a close relationship when starting out, but it's really evolved that way and I do like it. I think maybe because she realizes they'll be working together soon, it's easier for her to sort of want to keep a closer eye on them. And she's McGonagall *wub face.*

I was thinking about the Order and how/why James Sirius and Lily would not work and devote all their time to it, and I think that really ended up being the most logical explanation. Because most people can't. And they need more people that can, because for every step forward they take the DE are setting them two back.

Dan, I already let you punch Christophe through Sirius, now you want to throttle Alrek?! :P

And as we've already been over this -- yes Dan, I've picked up your subtle hint on who you would like me to focus on next ;).

Thank you so much for another absolutely amazing review and all your awesome support ♥


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Review #11, by Avis12 

29th April 2013:
I'm caught up! Nooo! It was so lovely to breeze through the chapters with a single click and now I'm going to have to wait like everybody else. Boo.

There are so many things I want to say; I don't even know where to start. Okay here goes.

1) Your characters are simply perfect. One of the reasons I've tended to stray towards next gen is because I don't always think that the canon characters are captured completely. But, you, Jami, have done such an amazing job at it! I think that Lily is spot on. I like that she isn't all whiny (I've seen that quite a bit) and that her reasons for not wanting to be with James in the beginning of the story were reasonable, not just the usual "I don't like James because he breaks the rules." Gosh I'm pretty sure that didn't even make sense. Also your James is fantastic. I like that he is so dynamic. Sometimes he is sweet and tender but then BAM he's all tough, protective, and intense. And then Sirius is just so...Sirius! I believe that this is what he would be like. A few times when I think you got him perfectly were when he punched Belle's old boyfriend and stood up to her parents, when he got all protective over Belle in Hogsmede, and whenever he is with James. Ugh. You are just so good. I also wanted to say that I like how you made Neville's parents outgoing and popular, not just replicas of Neville. And your Remus is pretty great too. And just about every other one of your characters.

2) The plot. I love how everything you write could have really happened. There is nothing too far-fetched or unreasonable. I also love how you took it upon yourself to create your own spells (that's a little off topic, but I just remembered that I wanted to tell you that.) Anyway, I am just so invested in your story and I can't wait to see what's going to happen! The sad thing about Marauders era fics is that you know how it will all end eventually. I mean, Belle isn't in the books so somehow she's going to go. I don't know which will be worse, her leaving Sirius for some reason or her dying. Either way I know I'll be sad at the end of this. Also I know all the horrible endings that will become the cannon characters. Off topic again! What I'm trying to say is that I can't wait to see how You will finish this story. Especially what you will do with Alrek and Belle.

3) I've said it before and I'll say it again. The quality of your writing just blows me away. The descriptive detail and the nearly flawless grammar never stops amazing me. After reading your work all I want to do is become a better writer. I know I have a lot of room for improvement, but I can honestly say that you've inspired me to be better.

That's all for now, but I'm sure I'll review again later!

Sam (which is short for Samantha to answer your question!)

Author's Response: Hi Sam! I'm so sorry that this response has taken ages. Of course work chooses the week that I get sick to be insane... *insert eye roll here*

I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to such an awesome review. Characterization is such a huge thing to me. With a Marauder's story there aren't too many original things that can happen. I've tried to make this my own as much and possible, but there will always be common elements, so getting the perfect characterization is such a huge deal to me. I can't even tell you how much it means that you are enjoying mine, and I'm so happy that you picked those points as ones where Sirius seems very Sirius. Those are a few of my favorite bits of his, too :).

I think a lot of what had to do with Neville is the fact that Augusta couldn't really handle losing Frank. That was her boy, her son, and as much as she loves Neville, he won't live up to Frank. It's a bit part of how she is that I think made Neville the way he is, but in my head Augusta was a lot more supportive of Frank. Giving him a lot more confidence.

Did any of that make sense? It's late... haha!

That's on of the saddest aspects of the Marauder's era. There's only one real ending. But I'm so excited to explore their life before that point. Book two will be quite a bit different and more...grown up. But I'm so excited for that, to watch Lily and James learn to be young parents, to watch the group help one another get through the rough parts...all that sort of stuff. Knowing that your invested in this story and finding out how I'll get to that end is such an amazing, incredible compliment and I just don't know how to say thank you enough ♥

You've really made me feel so happy about this story and the fact that my writing has made you want to improve. There's been a few authors who have done that to me, so knowing I was able to give that feeling to some one else is just amazing.

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to review and just all your wonderful compliments. I can't even tell you how much this all means to me, and I hope you enjoy where the story goes from here ♥


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Review #12, by Ginny Weasley 

28th April 2013:
I knew that Alrek was suspicious and part of both attacks... :o

Author's Response: Yes!! Alrek is definitely not a good guy...

Thanks for review ♥


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Review #13, by MissMdsty 

28th April 2013:
No chapter you write could ever be too long dear!

In the beginning I actually had hopes of a fluffy, makes me want to run off into the sunset with fictional characters chapter. Then the Dark Mark appeared. You did a wonderful job of capturing the emotions and the fear that went through all of them. It's so sad to see that these are all good people, normal people, apart from the magic and this world is making them do things like choosing to go to war and actually make the conscious decision that they might kill people.

I somehow suspected this wouldn't be the second defy, since they planned so hard to get them the first time and it would've been too soon.

I loved the image of Dumbledore swooping in surrounded by light and restoring the safety of Hogsmeade. He is so powerful and just calming all around.

Oh Alrek. Why don't you just drop dead? For me? Part of me was actually happy he got to suffer, not that he suffered for what he did but because he failed. And I'm happy he suffered because I suffered when I read what Bellatrix did to them. We need more suffering for the Death Eaters, yes?

This was a lovely chapter m'dear! We're so close to graduation and I know that the next book will bring us some more action and it will be a whole new dynamic, with them out of school and on the front lines! I can't wait! Good job!

Author's Response: Awww haha you're so sweet Ral!

You expected a fluffy chapter?! With me?! HA. Are you new around here, Miss Ral? :P Just kidding, but the next one does have some fluff in it :D.

Yep, as you suspected, not the second defy ;). I think you'll know when that's coming. *rubs hands together.*

The second book will definitely take on a whole new dynamic. I'm so excited to explore their new adult life with all the craziness of the Order twisted in. And to get to explore what those last few years really brought them.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter and that it wasn't too long ♥ I try so hard to keep them at a reasonable length, but it just never happens. haha.

Thank you so much Ral for your awesome feedback ♥


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Review #14, by DracoGal 

27th April 2013:
I. Hate. Rukin. Belle and Sirius; still love love love them! Sirius is all mushy when it comes to her. It's nice seeing that side of him! And James and Lily, what else can I say? They're James and Lily. The most adorable couple ever in HP history. I love seeing their sweet moments. I can't see what comes next in your amazing story.

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so happy you still love Belle and Sirius ♥

Thank you so much for this awesome review, and I'm happy you hate Alrek. I'm not his biggest fan either ;).

Saturdays update has been delayed do to me be being ill for a few days :(. I hope I'll see you next Saturday though, and I'm sorry about not updating today!

♥ Jami


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Review #15, by patronus_charm 

27th April 2013:
I may have the first review on this chapter if no one posts while Iím writing this :D

I think this line from Sirius perfectly defined his and Belleís relationship Ė Ďif Belle didnít like that, well bollocks to her.í Theyíre both so headstrong and determined their way is the right way, Iím often surprised that they managed to stay together. Then Iím reminded of the moments like the one at Christmas, and you canít help but aw over them and how perfect they are for one another.

I wondered why Sirius was in a bad mood, and it was so cute that he was so nervous over his first date with Belle. Iím sure itís going to go fine and thereíll be nothing to worry about. Yet, at the last event like this Bellatrix turned up and wounded Lily and James so perhaps I shouldnít be so optimistic.

Aw so Belle wants to have her own book shop, thatís so cute. I can imagine her having one, and considering her and Sirius bonded over him helping her with her homework in the library it makes sense for her to have one. It was so lovely to see how happy she was about the book shop, because the past few months havenít been the best ones for her recently so it was lovely to see her back to her former self.

Ok perhaps Sirius was right to be nervous about the date as something bad did happen. I almost wish they got a break, but then it wouldnít be an accurate portrayal of what happened in that year. I was so scared when they were walking down the tunnel, as you really didnít know what to expect in Hogsmeade. Iím hoping that the Dark Mark set off will be like the one at the Quidditch World Cup and nothing but a Death Eater wanting to scare them all off.

I think this one of the best descriptions of Slughorn I have found Ė ĎSlughorn half waddling half running toward them.í I have a mental image of him doing the exact thing right now! Yay nothing bad has been found, well hopefully they searched thoroughly and nothing was lurking away there. I loved his reaction to Sirius and Belle being there, it seemed as if he didnít expect any less from them. Then Remus and Peter sneaking down, I didnít expect any less from those two either.

Those poor muggles and aurors, I really wish I was right about it being a fake mark, thank merlin that Dumbledore managed to save them all from attack. Poor Alice too, she seemed so affected by the deaths it was horrible to see her crying like that, as I never imagined her to be one to lay bare her emotion all that much if it wasnít anger she was showing.

Wub James was so cute the way he was comforting Lily. You can really see how those two ended up working for the Order, they seemed to have such a strong desire to make justice happen in the world and make it a better place. I felt so bad for James that he know realises that he canít become a quidditch star as he loyalties lie elsewhere. Iím sure he would be happy to know that his daughter-in-law became one.

I spotted a minor error here ĎI didnít want to interrupt you while you were reading the paper, but Mum and dadí I think you need to capitalise the d of dad :)

Another appearance of the evil Alrek! I rather liked getting an insight into his thoughts, as itís always interesting to see what evil people are actually thinking. I feel bad for poor old Jenna being treated like that. Then again, I wouldnít be that suspicious of him if I couldnít see his thoughts and what the other death eaters were up to.

Another excellent chapter and the length was fine and I honestly canít see what you could have cut from this to make it any shorter!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi darling! I'm embarrassed with how long this response has taken :(.

I had so much fun writing Sirius's grumpy bratty feeling. Haha. I'm happy you liked that line, it was one that I sort of chuckled during.

The bookshop idea was kind of a random one so I'm really happy you liked it. It just fits though, doesn't it? Her walking around in some long summer dress and looking all magical and unearthly, but then doing something as simple as tending to costumers and organizing her shelves. For some reason it seemed really appropriate, and I'm so happy you think it works well too!

Kiana! I've never thoughts about that! About the fact that James's daughter in law becoming a Quidditch player. That's really cool. Haha. You always spot such neat things.

Alrek doesn't know what he's gotten himself in with this group, does he? Hehe.

I'm so excited that you liked this chapter, and I sort of had the same feeling you about just wanting something normal for them. I think you'll really like the next chapter, and sorry again about the delay for it :(. I felt so terrible at not posting this week, but it just wasn't up to par.

Oh and Slughorn! Hahahahah! I'm really happy you imagined him half waddling half running too, hehe. It was nice little way to giggle during the seriousness.

Thank you again for this awesome review and I hope you aren't upset at me for the delayed update ♥ ♥


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