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16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

22nd January 2015:
Lily told him she didn’t want a gift, considering her birthday had just been a few weeks ago and he’d given her a new set of art supplies, but he didn’t know if he was supposed to believe that or not.

^ This is me to a T. I always say don't get me a birthday gift, christmas gift or whatever. I'm not a big Valentine's Day fan. Funnily enough the only time I want a gift from my boyfriend is our anniversary and he thought I was crazy when I said I was thinking about what to him for our anniversary since it'll be in two monthish and he looked at me baffled and said, "I'm supposed to get you a gift?"

I just gave him a look.

(DUH. Men. At least give me a card.)

You don't like writing Quidditch games? But you wrote the other one so well and even though this one was short I was amused by it. I think more of my focus and glee went to Lily finally figuring out it's him, our dear Ravenclaw Al (I just can never write his name correctly). Finally! Of course Lily second guesses herself because he's not a Slytherin and she was chummy with him for awhile.

It's called deception Lils.

Yet then again you can't blame her. She has a knack for seeing the good in people. She's the only one that knows Severus is good at heart. Even though he doesn't know it himself.

I don't think I've ever considered the pain Minerva had to go through losing all of her students in two wars. You can see how attached she is to Lily, James, Alice, Frank, etc. In my opinion she still treated Remus as her student even when he became her colleague even though we don't see too much of the interactions in the books it's there. It's only natural for her to resist wanting to push them or guide them into the Order.

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Review #2, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Aw, I loved James's thoughts on his relationship and the idea of being a boyfriend to Lily. It just made me smile, he was so cute! He's been waiting for this for so long now and it's so adorable that he's finally managed to start going out with Lily and they're slowly falling in love. It's just adorable.

Yes, finally! Lily has realised that Alrek might be the one who is feeding information to the Death Eaters. I know that she didn't seem convinced on the fact that he would be the one but at least they're wary now. And James's jealousy is now turning into something more substantial, and he's so protective over Lily.

I really enjoyed the Quidditch match and of course the fact that Gryffindor won! And James is lucky to be getting a chance at playing professional Quidditch, even if he doesn't get the chance. The Order meeting was fantastic; each of the participants was so well characterised and I especially loved Moody's rant about the Minister and the uselessness of the Ministry! At least they've been alerted to the fact that there's someone in the school passing along information now and hopefully they manage to stop Alrek soon!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by Harrypotter24 

1st June 2013:
This chapter really interested me, I wish you would focus more on the order aswell as the students and death eaters. Also I really love mcgonigals thought and feeling they where very interesting
Please keep writing I'm kind of addicted to the story
Katie

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so happy you liked this chapter! I really enjoy focusing on the DE and Order. But for this book, the students needed to be the more prominent part. The next book is where we really spend a lot of time with the Order and DE, because that one takes place after graduation :)!

Aww that's such an awesome compliment! I'll definitely keep writing ♥

Jami


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Review #4, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

29th May 2013:
Surprise! I closed my eyes and picked a story and it was this one, but I'll be over to read some of your Oliver story soon!

I'm mostly going to go through the chapter in order, hitting on your AoCs as we get to them chronologically, but I apologize in advance if it's a bit disjointed. I actually read the chapter over two days so I'm having to try and decipher my own scribblings :P

Being a boyfriend was complicated, but James couldn't deny loving it. I just loved this line. He's falling into the role so well, but it's nice to see that while his affection for Lily comes naturally, knowing how to be a good boyfriend is a whole other matter. I also really liked the line Lily really had been born a Gryffindor. James always gets the credit for being the "true" Gryffindor of the group, but there has to be more to Lily than kindness and loyalty or she'd have been sorted into Hufflepuff. It's just a small line, I know, but I thought it was sweet.

I thought you handled the match perfectly. You've had some Quidditch before that you skipped over, and while I certainly didn't feel this needed a FULL account of the game, I liked that you didn't completely brush over it. I thought you tucked in just enough to hit the balance between looking like you just didn't want to write it out and boring the readers with an account that was longer than necessary. I thought you managed it perfectly.

Should I be worried about Polly? I feel like I should be worried about her. She's too adorable, but I'm afraid you're going to be a really cruel author and kill her off as a casualty of war.

I'm totally buying the way the suspicions are unfolding regarding Alrek. Using the Quidditch match as a way to jog that memory for Lily was very clever. Since we as the reader already know it's him, having them looking everywhere BUT at him would feel like you were intentionally dragging it out. I think this is perfect. They've made a very believable connection between what might have been said in his presence and what happened with Bella, and while they aren't ready to chase him down with pitchforks, they are bumping him waaay up the suspect list.

Aw... I loved the arrival of Gideon and Fabian and the way they rile up Moody the same way Fred and George might. I really enjoy when you write from McGonagall's perspective. You have a very nice way of humanizing her. And this is just another aside, but I really liked the line That allowed more time for someone to find a hole and break into it. I love this sorts of things -- the ones that get your brain churning on the inner (and often messy) workings of magic. And I think what Dumbledore said covers it all: we must allow him control of his own future, or we're no better than Voldemort's side.

Okay, last point. The characters. No, I don't feel the characters have been "created," if you mean in the sense that they do and say things that only meant to serve the plot. I think you've kept them true and consistent throughout. Though I should also add that I don't think creating characters to serve the plot is always a bad idea, as long as there is internal consistency and logic in why they do what they do. When it comes to characters, my philosophy is the messier the better. Real people are complicated, and characters should be to. Good guys should, on occasion, do mean, spiteful and foolish things, and bad guys who might not mind killing you can still me nice to their mothers and help old ladies cross the street :P

Ooops, I got a little sidetracked there. Sorry about that. I spotted some typos. Not sure if they'll fit. Anything that doesn't, I'll pm you. Another great chapter. I can't believe we're getting to the start of the end. Please don't kill Polly, okay?!?

-- Consequently, had to tell Frank and Sirius that they were expected to take their dates somewhere lovely, as well (I think this is missing a word)

-- James went through the calculations in his mind: They beat Slytherin the first match, Gryffindor scoring two-hundred and thirty points to Slytherin's ninety. (lowercase they)

-- Neither of those teams worried James too much, it was mainly Hufflepuff he was concerned about. (comma splice)

-- "No." He said firmly. ("No," he said...)

-- But no one is alone with him and, unless we somehow learn... (is to be alone)

-- Violet jetted through the air, her entire body forming to the the broom with the Hufflepuff... (double the)

-- ...but something about the way he'd been looking at her, the color of the dark blue... (eyes? is this missing a word at the end?)

-- "Polly, you were bloody amazing out there." The deep voice said followed by a sharp cough from McGonagall. (out there," the deep voice said)

-- Mr. Prewett and Mr. Prewett, if you would all care to take seat... (to take a seat)

-- I believe they aware of certain aspects as it is (they are aware)

-- He doesn't know what we are by name, but he understand that there... (he understands that)

-- He deserves to think through the offer presented by My. Henniway. (Mr)

-- Mr. Potter's future isn't he only that's been discussed this evening (isn't the only one that's)

Author's Response: Hiii! It was so hard for me not to respond to this review the second I saw it yesterday. I swear, works main goal in my life is to try and cut into my HPFF time :P!

It was a lot of fun getting to play back inside James's mind for a while in this. As much as I love writing from Lily's perspective, James is just really a ton of fun for me. I'm so happy you liked watching James sort of struggle with the actual being a boyfriend role. It's definitely still new for him :P! Though I think he has a lot easier of a time with it than Lily being a girlfriend...

Ahh I'm so happy you liked the match! I realized I couldn't actually take us away from it like before, but that didn't mean we had to be paying attention the entire time :P.

Polly is sweet, isn't she? Um. I don't know how to answer that question. She serves an important purpose during the next book. That's all I'm saying :P!

I really didn't love bringing Alrek into the list of suspicions, but then I figured having us know and having the group *kind of* know, but not really, would be a good balance. Like you said, if I wouldn't have looked at him it would have felt too drug out. I worried that jogging Lily's memory during the game felt too planned, so I'm really relieved you liked it!

The more I wrote McGonagall's perspective the more comfortable I get, but she still takes a million times longer to write than anyone else. Balancing the part of her that I think would be very caring with the woman we saw in the books is always a struggle for me. And you know how much I love jumping into those messier magic parts. If I wouldn't have actually been trying to entertain people with this story, it probably would have ended up being a 31 chaptered fic of nothing but classes and spells :P!

Ahhh I'm so happy the characters feel natural still!! Now that you mentioned it, I just realized how many I did create for a certain purpose, but I don't want them to feel like they only have that purpose. Though you don't know what those characters purposes are yet, so maybe I'll bring up this AoC after we get there. haha. I don't know if that paragraph made any sense :P.

Haaha I love your sidetrack moments. Especially the idea of a killer heading out and doing his thing then getting home and kissing his mom goodnight :P

Yay thank you for the typos! Those have already been edited in. Should i send you best unofficial beta in the word cupcakes??

Thank you so much for another absolutely amazing review, Becky! ♥


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Review #5, by ValWitch21 

24th May 2013:
meep meep fabulous CI.

Lily knows. I wonder what the impact of that'll be, once Alrek finds out.

You sneaky thing, avoiding the match again! You're going to have to write one with your new Oliver story, you do know that, right?

Your Moody was absolutely brilliant, as were Fabian and Gideon. They helped explain how Molly ould deal so well with seven children, including Fred and George!

Anyway, keeping this short because my next review is the big one!

Author's Response: HAHAHAH I know I know but that doesn't mean I WANT TO. Quidditch is impossible to write. IMPOSSIBLE. But yeah, i'll have to toughen up and do it eventually. Boo. haha

I'm so happy you liked Moody and Fabian and Gideon ♥ And Thank you again so much for another amazing review that just makes me want to squish you with hugs!


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Review #6, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

17th May 2013:
Hi Jami!

Phew, I'm back again :)

I love that we got a bit more Quidditch James at the start of this chapter. His determination to win, especially as it's his last year is not misplaced in the slightest and it was so fun to read.

I was slightly worried when Alrek first showed up in this chapter. He's been quiet for a few chapters which meant he could be up to stuff again. I was practically shouting at the group to realise about him then Lily did. Yes! Finally! I know they aren't sure but at least they're suspicious. It's better than nothing.

The quidditch match was really well written! One thing that did confuse me though is that you had the final score to be 'Two-hundred and thirty to one-hundred and sixty!' Which means Gryffindor were on 80 points to Hufflepuffs 160 before they caught the snitch but before that you had Gryffindor pulling into the lead. Tiny minute detail - maybe Hufflepuff pulled back (if they did ignore this completely) but I think there might be a small maths error there... No biggie though, I just thought I'd point it out though :).

I was so excited to see the Prewett twins come into the story! They were very similar to Fred and George and that was so fun to read. It was also kind of sad as that means I've got someone else to get attached to before they die but until then we can enjoy them. I also loved how enthusiastic Moody is about Frank and Alice. Oh and James has a Quidditch offer and Lily is getting through to being a healer. It's all working in their favour but there's such dark times coming. It makes me so sad.

Albus and Minerva in this chapter are once again so true to the original series. I love Minerva in particular, how much she wants to protect her students. It's so amazing to read!

One other little thing: 'Consequently, had to tell Frank and Sirius that they were expected to take their dates somewhere lovely, as well.' That didn't quite make sense... was it supposed to be 'Consequently, he had to'

Lovely chapter Jami!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren! Hi!!! :hug: Quidditch is always so hard for me, but I do try and remember what a big part of James it is. So I guess that gives it the right to featured now and again.

Is it mean to say that I'm happy you were practically shouting at the group? I really wanted to frustrate people with the slow sort of way they finally started suspecting him, haha.

Oh gosh, yes I'm sure it's a math error. I'm terrible with numbers. We'll just pretend that Hufflepuff started catching up, haha! Though I'll probably go back and fix it when my brain is working a bit better. That way it won't bug me. Thank you ♥

Oh my gosh that happens to be so much. I really enjoy writing a character and then realize it's another one that has to die, and pretty much think, lovely. It's so hard getting attached to people from the Marauder's era, and not at all fair that we love them so much :(!

I'm so happy Albus and Minerva still feel true to character. They take so much work for me and I always worry that they aren't quite right.

Yes! It's supposed to be 'he had to.' Thank you ♥ I'll go edit that one right now!

Thank you for another amazing review, Lauren! I can't even tell you how happy I am that you're still enjoying this ♥


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Review #7, by Courtney Dark 

11th May 2013:
Hehe, Gideon and Fabian reminded me so much of Fred and George! I definitely think they were my favourite part of this chapter - I loved Fabian's comment about the attractive barmaid working at the Three Broomsticks. I hope we get to see more of the twins!

I also loved the line: 'In many ways, she felt like a mother sending her children off to war.' Your characterization of McGonagall is really spectacular - you've really made me fall in love with her as a character!

I'm so glad that Lily suspected that Alrek might be the spy at Hogwarts! I just hope that he gets caught soon - they way Lily saw him looking at her really gave me the shivers. And the way that she realized he might have something to do with the Death Eaters was really well done, too.

Oh, and I think my favourite line of this whole chapter would have to be: "He could have invited us straight into Voldemort’s... house? People like him don’t really live in houses, do they? Lair? Lair sounds better." I can definitely not imagine Voldemort living in a house with a nice rose garden out front and perhaps a bird bath out back.

Violet is just that typical annoying mean girl. Grrr! That is all I have to say to her! I love how feisty Belle gets towards her, and how Alice and Lily have to remind her to restrain herself.

Speaking of Alice, I'd quite like to see some more Alice/Frank action. Is there any coming up, by any chance?

Remus has a date to Hogsmeade! Yay! And I hope Lily can persuade Peter to ask Ellie out (I have to keep reminding myself that Peter is not a baddie at this stage.)

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Awww I'm so happy Fabian and Gideon reminded you of Fred and George! I really wanted to get a lot of them into that set of twins. I'm not sure if this has ever been said in canon or not, but it always seemed appropriate to think that Molly and Arthur named Fred and George using the same letters in honor of her brothers :).

Oh that's such an awesome thing to hear! I'll never find McGonagall easy to write. She's not like just slipping into one of the Marauders or the girls, so knowing the extra I spend to try and get her right is paying off makes me so happy!

Hahahah when my beta was reading through this he marked that line as one he liked a lot too. That sort of came from me own, 'what the hell do I call this?' feeling. And I figured if I didn't think Voldemort could really live in a house, Lily didn't either :P

Hahaha no, Peter is definitely not a baddie in this stage. I promise you'll know when that switch starts happening ;).

Thank you so much for another incredible review! ♥


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Review #8, by MissMdsty 

26th April 2013:
Oh my God you can write Quidditch! I am blown away by that. Doing the math on the points and describing the game! Is there anything you can't write?

I loved so many things about this chapter! James is so sweet! I really like how you portrayed his efforts to balance out his duties as Head and captain with his relationship. It gives the story a dose of realism since we all balance out these things and even though you can do magic you shouldn't have to be excused from that!

And the ball drops! Thank you! Finally figuring out who the culprit is! I liked how James didn't remember the girl's name. I know it's something small but I've had that happen in University. I've had entire conversations with people who knew me by name and I had no idea who they were!

Lily's so cute when she's jealous! I sometimes have the urge to peel women off my boyfriend. I need a Belle in my life to scare them off. Where can I get one? :)

The pieces are slowly coming together and the Order is getting into the formation we know in canon. I loved the last part being from Minerva's POV. It's sad that she nurtured so many children that went on to become soldiers and gave their lives for the cause. I absolutely loved how Albus sees the issue of giving them a chance, or else they'd be no better than the other side.

And I finally caught up with this story and I'm anxiously waiting for you to update! Brilliant chapter (as usual)!

Ral ♥

Author's Response: Hi my lovely Ral!!

Oh my god that single paragraph about the points took probably as long as the entire chapter. Sports are SO hard for me to wrap my head around. I'm so excited you liked it!!! ♥

Don't you hate when someone comes up to you and totally remembers you and is so friendly like you've seen them a million times, and you just can't remember their name?! It drives me nuts. Poor us. We need better memories. Haha

Yes! They're finally suspecting Alrek!

Everyone needs a Belle in their life, right? ;). She says all the things we want to, haha.

I think I'm actually really excited to write book two with all the Order scenes that will take place. I've enjoyed writing the few in this book quite a bit, and having the Marauders all in on the meetings is going to be so fun!

Aww I'm so happy you liked this chapter and haven't gotten burnt during the last 27 chapters!!! ♥

Thank you so much darling for all your awesome reviews!


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Review #9, by CambAngst 

24th April 2013:
Hi, Jami!

After so many chapters focused on Lily, James and their friends, I liked taking a step outside of that circle and seeing what's going on in the wider wizarding world. OK, maybe "like" is too strong of a word, because it seems like an awful lot of what's going on is bad, but it definitely helped to broaden the story and keep the students' seventh year in context.

Between classes, Head Boy duties, revising, keeping their eye on the Slytherins, and trying to snog Lily every chance he got, Quidditch had been one of the last things on his mind. - Ah, James! I love the competing priorities. He's not letting anything slide, though. When does the man sleep?

Lily told him she didn’t want a gift /.../ but he didn’t know if he was supposed to believe that or not. - I feel his pain. You women, always telling us not to do anything special for Valentine's Day / anniversaries / your birthday / Mother's Day... and then never letting us live it down if we actually listen! I bet Frank and Sirius want to hex James for dragging them into the middle of this. But I do love the workmanlike approach he's taking to being a boyfriend and the joy that he seems to take in the positive outcomes.

Quidditch is an incredibly complicated sport, even when nobody's actually flying! I always thought it was weird that a team could conceivably lose every match and still win the cup if they put up huge scores in all their losses. I wonder if there's a rule against replacing your Keeper with a fourth Chaser and maybe having your Seeker join the offense until somebody spots the Snitch? Sort of like pulling your goalie in hockey, but doing it as a strategy for the whole game. OK, I'm really over-thinking this...

Poor James. I know his brain is probably full to capacity between school, Quidditch, Lily and spying on the sneaky snakes, but it was really funny how he couldn't remember the name of the girl Rukin brought to the game. I see Durmstrang is still hanging around like some sort of rash. Whatever he's going to do, I just wish that he would go ahead and do it. I don't like him hanging around, being creepy. Get away from Lily, Durmstrang! RAWRRR!

"... He could have invited us straight into Voldemort’s... house? People like him don’t really live in houses, do they? Lair? Lair sounds better." - Bwaaahahaha! That was brilliant! Followed almost immediately by: Ethan looked at James like he’d inhaled a bit too much broom cleaner, then just shrugged. Funny as those lines were, I loved the fact that James was getting extra-protective of Lily. Like I said, priorities!

You gave us just enough of the substance of the Quidditch match to set the atmosphere, although that scene was obviously more about what was going on in the stands. Recently I've been thinking a lot about what James and Lily might have done for careers if the war hadn't driven them into hiding and tragically shortened their lives, and playing professionally seems like it would have been a good fit for James. Aside from the attention James is drawing, I thought the star-struck younger girl with the Omnioculars was a clever touch. Never bad to take a second and remind us that the Marauders were royalty of a sort within Hogwarts.

Ooh! Looks like Durmstrang's facade is starting to slip just a bit. I suppose the fat helping of Crucio he was served for Christmas must have left him feeling a lot less friendly. But even with Lily feeling so creeped out, she's determined not to spoil James's "moment". Gah, they're both so selfless sometimes! It's a beautiful thing unless and until it gets them killed.

Does this Violet girl want to get hurt? Because she's doing all the right things if she does. Lily had a very good sense of restraint in this, but Belle doesn't seem to suffer from one of those.

I love your Moody. The fact that JKR was writing a children's book really limited what she was able to do with him, I though. Aside from transfiguring Draco into a ferret, she really kept a tight leash on him while he (or the fake Moody) was at Hogwarts. You're able to turn him loose and allow him to be his crude, cantankerous, profane self. Well, at least until McGonagall cuts him off at all the key moments. ;) All of the back-and-forth between the two of them cracked me up, actually. They're already sparring over Frank and Alice, and it's probably only going to get worse once Moody discovers that James and Sirius are talented duelists.

And your Gideon and Fabian are like a reflection of Fred and George from a different age and era. They don't quite finish one another's sentences the way that the Weasley twins do, but you can tell that they're basically inseparable. They also have the razor-sharp wit and the mischevious streak that even forces McGonagall to suppress a grin every so often. It struck me as I was reading this that there was probably even another layer to Molly's pain after the Battle of Hogwarts. Losing Fred must have brought back horrible recollections of losing Gideon and Fabian. :(

“It seems as if there’s always something worthy of worrying over, doesn’t it?” - Well put, Dumbledore, well put.

Another brilliant chapter! It seems like things are really accelerating downhill toward graduation now. So many sad things coming. I'm determined to enjoy the fun moments when they happen!

Author's Response: Dan!

So, when I go through my unanswered reviews and scroll from the bottom to stop, I always know if it's about to be a Dan review by the fact that I keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.. ;).

Nope, James can't let any of those priorities take a back seat. Though he may be giving himself too much credit when he thinks that he's been revising...

You MEN need to get it through your poor little heads that we don't want something if we have to ask! We want you all to pay attention and know what we want, and then get it all by your selves and be big boys and not have to be told. Are you writing this down?? :P

I think that the most annoying canon fact is the one that James won the cup as captain. Without that, I am positive I'd have had an attack during a match by now so I'd never have to write about it again. Now I know why JKR made so many excuses during the books not to have it. I thought of something so similar! I was wondering if Violet could act as a second Keeper to stop them from getting any points, and then when they up enough she could start actively looking for the Snitch. Of course if Hufflepuff's seeker saw it, she'd have to go after it. But come on, they're the Puffs. :P

James's perspective always puts me in a more humorous mood. He's not someone who can remain serious for too long, so getting to jump into his little messy haired head is always fun.

I'm happy I gave enough of the Quidditch match sort of feeling without having to go on and on about it. I think James probably would have been a big interest for the scouts, but I think he'd have ended up teaching actually. Haha. I can see him playing for a year or two then realizing he just loved it too much to make a career out of it. He wanted it as a hobby, and he wanted to spend more time with his family and friends. Then he'd have taken over the DADA teaching position, and he and Lily would have lived in a sweet little Cottage in Hogsmeade. She'd come by the school occasionally if she got off work at St. Mungos early and meet James there, and all the students would talk about Mr. Potter's hot wife.

Ohhh Dan why did they die :(. Now I'm all pouty.

Your review made me want to write the next chapter so badly. You always get me so excited about what happens next in this, haha. But I need to work on Bella--- you're a bad influence Daniel. Bad bad.

I'm so happy you liked Gideon and Fabian. It was hard for me to figure out how to write them without making them too much Fred and George. But the fact that they were in a more serious situation helped.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter ♥ it was a million times easier than the newest. Haha. Maybe this story should be strictly told from James's perspective :P




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Review #10, by Ginny Weasley 

22nd April 2013:
This will probably sound harsh, but please have some type of bad thing happen. (Like maybe Lily is kidnapped by Bellatrix...)
Well I know my reviews are always so short...
As a treat I will make a longer one.

I DEMAND SOMETHING TO HAPPEN! AND IT SHALL BE EXCITING!

O3O

Author's Response: Hi darling!!! Hahahah yes ma'am! Well, I obviously can't tell you exactly what's going to happen, but there will definitely be some really sad parts by the end of this. Which is only about eight chapters left now! When the time comes, don't forget, I warned you ;)!

Thank you so much for stopping by! ♥

Jami


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Review #11, by patronus_charm 

22nd April 2013:
This line summed up James perfectly – ‘Between classes, Head Boy duties, revising, keeping their eye on the Slytherins, and trying to snog Lily every chance he got,’ wub. It was so just so James and it summed up his character perfectly. Then the way all the guys were taking their dates so seriously, it was just so cute. It was a good idea asking the girls what they wanted, as that way everyone was happy. I spotted a minor typo here ‘Consequently, had to tell Frank and Sirius’’ I think there should be a ‘he’ before the ‘had’.

Aw poor James getting all jealous over Alrek sitting with Lily. It was so cute to see that he was still insecure about whether Lily loved him or not, hopefully Jenna will prevent that from happening in the future. Yay for Lily bringing him up though! They’ve practically got him now, and it’s so exciting. I can sense why Lily would be wary about it though, as they haven’t got any evidence apart from him being suspiciously ill. Hopefully they realise anyway.

I really liked how you made the quidditch scene interesting with the arrival of Polly’s brother, as it created a bit of excitement compared to her worrying about Alrek being the suspect. Yay for Gryffindor winning, James wouldn’t let the house down, even if he’s mind hasn’t been on quidditch all the time recently. And you managed to make the quidditch scene fun, so yay for that, as I know how hard it is to do.

I love Belle! If she just had a monologue for the entire chapter I wouldn’t get bored. She’s just so headstrong and it’s lovely. The way she kindly tells James that he has something stuck to him is brilliant, and of course Lily’s reaction to it was also awesome. Then the way she says she’s only finished for the afternoon is great, as it seems as if she’s going to pick it up again sometime soon.

Aw how cute Peter may get a date, and Remus has one too! Aw this is so cute and adorable! Then the way Henniway wanted to speak to him, is so exciting as he might become a famous quidditch player. Ok, I know he doesn’t but I can dream :P

Ah Gideon and Fabian! I love these two and I really wasn’t expecting for them to turn up, so I can’t explain my excitement about seeing these two here! Perhaps it’s a good idea he didn’t became a famous quidditch player and that he joined the order instead, because by the sounds of it they really needed him. I really loved that scene as it was perfect, and we got some more Albus and Minerva time :D

Another awesome chapter Jami!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana!!! I'm so excited that you think I made the game interesting! Those are SO hard for me to write. I'm dreading writing the season finale, but I think I'll have to do that one to justify not doing much of any others haha. Now I know why JKR made sure that every book didn't include Quidditch :P

Ohhh thank you for that typo I'll go in and edit asap! So right when I'm done responding to this :P

Belle ends up stealing the show more often than planned. It's such a huge compliment that you like her though because I feel like I've put so much into her... it just wants to make me hug you. I swear, if they ever make up computer that you can reach through, you're going to be spending some serious time getting hugged :P

Gideon and Fabian! I'm so happy you liked them because they'll show up pretty often in book two :)!!

Thank you so much for your amazing comments, Kiana. I always look forward to seeing what you're going to think about a chapter, and I really think you'll love this Saturdays :D!

♥ Jami

PS. I'm probably going to have to name an OC after you someday. haha. I love saying it! Kiana. Kiana. Kiana! :P


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Review #12, by GalleonScarlet 

21st April 2013:
I absolutely love this story! Keep writing! :)

Author's Response: I'm so happy you like it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. New chapters are posted every Saturday :)!

♥ Jami


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Review #13, by starchickpotter 

20th April 2013:
I liked your Quidditch game! Don't feel self-conscious!

Author's Response: You did? Yay! Those are so difficult for me to write. My brain doesn't work in 'sports' mode. But I will write a full game for the last of the season :)!

Thank you so much for stopping by!

♥ Jami


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Review #14, by DracoGal 

20th April 2013:
Another great chapter! :) I love the subtle romance between James and Lily! I still don't like that Violet girl and I don't think I ever will >:/ Gideon and Fabian!!! xD they're my second favorite twins lol. As usual, I can't wait till next week for a new chapter! :D

-Britt

Author's Response: Hahaha I can't blame you for not liking Violet. But I think she plays an important part on the spectrum of things. She's not a bad person like some of the Slytherins but she's also not as good of a person as the group. And, you know, it's fun to make Lily a bit jealous;).

I'm so happy you like Gideon and Fabian! They'll be in the next book pretty often!

Thank you so much for your awesome review, Britt! Is that short for Brittany? I love that name. It's always been one of my favorite!

♥ Jami


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Review #15, by soufflegirl99 

20th April 2013:
It ended so tensely! Eeeek can't wait for the next chapter!

I love how you show everyones perspective in third person, and how smoothly that runs. The thought process of James is always fascinating, and I love how detailed you make the chapters - e.g him thinking whether to tell Lily he forgot Jenna's name (that was very funny.) The whole Valentines dilemma was brilliant as well, and how clueless all of the males were!
I love how caring Lily is! It shows what a true gryffindor she is, because even though she's really creeped out by Arlek, she doesn't want to ruin James' moment. I think that showed true courage, and definitely added more eerie edginess to the story.
The way you compare Magonagall as a mother is so sweet, and made me feel quite moved actually. Because in a way, the Marauders, and Ron, Hermione and Harry are like the children she never had, and they looked up to her.
I can't believe James might be scouted! And Frank is an awesome commentator :) I think you wrote the game extraordinarily well, especially the litheness of Polly and the realistic action.
I also really like your characterisation of Moody; how he swears at the meeting, how he expresses his opinions and how he actually really cares about the order, and marauders.
I was laughing loads at Belle's reaction to Violet flirting with James. The comic delivery is classic, and the way you describe her facial expressions and tone of voice is very humourous. I found it hilarious!

Thank you for making my saturday again, Jami, and I look forward to the next instalment. This chapter's awesome! :D

Author's Response: Hi Sophie!!

I really enjoy getting to jump to the different sides of things. Getting to see the whole picture is something I always wished we'd gotten more of in the HP books, so I couldn't resist doing it for htis.

Males are so insanely clueless. Poor James is no exception, that's for sure, haha! Thank you so much for your comments about McGonagall. I can't imagine what she'd lost during this, and I agree with you on her feeling like they were sort of the children she'd never had. It's so sad to think of how many she'd lost ;(.

My brain does not think sports at all. Not even a tiny bit. So knowing that you think I wrote the parts of the game I included realistically means so much. It gives me the confidence I'm going to need to write the full game for the last of the season, haha.

Thank YOU for making my Saturday with this awesome review!! 99% of the time, when the chapter still isn't finished and it's already Friday, I go back to last weeks reviews and try and motivate myself. I'll definitely be doing that with yours!

Thank you so much ♥ Jami


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Review #16, by limelight1816 

20th April 2013:
I havent reviewed in forever, and i feel so bad about that, but ive been reading every week, and i look forward to Saturdays because of your updates!

Great chapter once again! I like how you showed McGonagall's concern for her students, very well written and the way Lily realizes that she told Rukin about their holiday plans was really natural and believable.

In the previous chapter, i loved Sirius' and Belle's fight and the way they made up. They just keep getting more adorable.

I would have liked to read a little bit more about the Quidditch match though. Maybe for the final match?

Will there be some more Jily action soon? That scene in the hotel room was so adorable, more like those would be great!

Overall, great chapter, the story is progressing beautifully and keep up the good work. :D

-Deeksha

Author's Response: Awww don't feel bad! But I'm so happy to know that you're still reading it! I always get scared if I haven't seen someone for a while, like they hated a chapter and called it quits, haha. So I was very excited to see your name on this review!

I'm so happy you said that about Alrek! I struggled with being unsure if I should bring him up last chapter, but Lily had so much going on I just didn't think she'd remember. Then this felt like a good opportunity to jog her mind a bit, so I'm really glad you think it felt natural.

I had so much fun writing Sirius's and Belle's fight last chapter, haha. Yes! You're exactly correct; the final match is the one I plan on showing the entire thing for. I'm so bad at sports though, I hope I do it justice!

More Jily?!? I'm sure I can make that happen ;)! I'm curious, do you like those two or Belle and Sirius more? Or both the same? Sorry... I'm interrogating you, haha!

Thank you so much for your awesome review! I'm so happy you're still reading and enjoying this. You've made my night!

♥ Jami.


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