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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

22nd January 2015:
Why couldn’t Belle let go of what happened with Sirius, even for just a day?

^ I understand why Belle is angry. I do. And I know she's going to forgive him sooner rather than later but I think the reason she can't let it go like Lily could is because she's not completely open to her feelings. Lily isn't sure she loves James yet but she's aware her feelings for him has grown. He was there for her multiple times and would have reacted horribly to his death if he had not survived their attack.

Belle is barely accepting she likes Sirius. She's still not completely open to the idea of a relationship or something more. They just are. That's it. I just don't think she's at that level yet and I don't think she's as understanding either so it takes her longer to process things.

Alice is amazing. I love her level headedness.

So I've finished reading the chapter and yup, I figured they would make up. I wasn't surprised by the argument but the two of them really need to get communication going. That's how their friendship, their relationship, their whatever is going to work.

I'm yelling at my screen for them to figure it out. COME ON! COME ON LILY! You know you spoke to Alreck (I spell his name wrong each time) at the game and for Slughorn's party. Use that amazing brain of yours. I'm surprised James hasn't accused him either when he was so aware of him before and then there's Peter.

I can't decide what you're doing with Peter. If he's already slipping to the other side you are not making it obvious. Do we know exactly when Peter turned on them? I think it was after Hogwarts but I feel like there should be an inkling there. It's hard because you make him likeable even though he isn't a main component to the story.

Oh, and J, I read your response to one of the chapters. I missed you too! One day I decided to log on and there I was missing what i used to do. it was exciting to be brimming with ideas again but I remember leaving. Real life was difficult and I didn't love writing anymore or Harry Potter. My excitement and passion wasn't there. Then I logged on and read one of Dan's stories and I found myself looking for you as well. I think you should finish the sequel but clearly I'm biased. Ha-ha. Don't do it for me, or for him or for anyone else. You have to do it for yourself because I remember that feeling of just not wanting to go on anymore with my stories. It can be overpowering and upsetting abandoning your writing but it can be thrilling as well.

...And I feel like your ending is going to make me bawl. I'm putting off reading the chapters and going through the rest slowly.

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Review #2, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

I really, really love the way that you write the friendships in this story and don't just put all of the emphasis on the relationship between James and Lily and then between Sirius and Belle as well. I think that friendship's one of the most important themes in the series and one of the things which helped get people through these wars, so it's great to see not only the Marauders but also the girls being close and helping each other when they need it, like when Lily and Alice were trying to persuade Belle to talk to Sirius.

I loved the whole interaction between Belle and Sirius as well, it seemed so believable from the characters we've seen this far. It made me smile when Belle got jealous of the Hufflepuff girl even though she was mad at Sirius :P I'm glad that they managed to survive their first fight as well and discuss some more important things.

Ah, the Marauders Map! I wondered when Lily would see it in this story and she's right, it's an incredible piece of magic. I still want to shout at them when they're not thinking about Alrek, though! At least Lily has got a good measure of Severus - even if they're not friends anymore, he wouldn't deliberately hurt her, I don't think.

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by FallenTruths 

9th July 2013:
Hi Jami!

Two more chapters down!

Chapter 25 - James reflecting on his holiday shows just how close and serious his relationship with Lily is after only a few short months. Obviously the fact that Lily is already close with his entire family makes it much more real and serious as well. It seems like Lily is already a part of the family, so it’s not a big jump for that relationship to lead to marriage shortly in the future. He's already picked out her "Angry Mother Mode," so he must be envisioning her as a mother to his children.

There are so many foreshadowing lines in here that make me extremely frustrated for the characters. "James supposed that when you cared about someone enough it was easier to ignore the stupid things they'd done and focus on the good." James knows it can happen and he sees it right in front of him, so it's incredibly frustrating that he doesn't make the connection later on with Peter. Even if he isn't paying attention to potential traitors among his friends right now at least he's paying attention to the enemy. I'm glad James was able to put it together that Bellatrix had to get her information from someone that Lily and James would definitely be there.

There goes Sirius again acting irrationally out of anger. Sirius being so controlled by his emotions is definitely his weakness. At least Sirius is aware of how much the death eaters are willing to do, including the ones still at Hogwarts. Belle's anger is certainly understandable in this situation. She hasn't really seen this side of his personality and I'm sure it's a bit frightening to her. Hitting her ex-boyfriend was one thing but hitting someone that they have no proof did anything wrong (yet) probably makes no sense to her. Sirius also got himself in major trouble by speaking to Belle that way.

Typos: "so he could head back to their comportment" and "they’ll just hear a buzzing noises instead of our voices” and "and he launched his body at the Regulus."


Chapter 26- First, a typo: "how often she caught James starting at."

I love Alice sometimes. "How he treated you wasn't kind, but neither is the fact that you're basically using it as a reason to back away from him before you get too close." Belle will use any excuse she can to protect herself from getting involved in another potentially bad relationship. At least Alice is there to point it out to her. I love how you pulled Sirius and Belle out into the storm to have their conversation. You could tell Belle was hurt and wanted to feel the destruction the storm could cause in that moment.

"I suppose I can live with zat. But if you ever snap at me like zat again, I'm going to stay angrier for much longer." This line made me wonder if Belle really has to die at the end of all this with everyone else. It seems plausible that she could get so angry at Sirius after he attacks Wormtail that she leaves England all together after Sirius is taken to Azkaban. Knowing the fate of everyone else it seems only fair that at least one of them survives. I can't believe no one called out Alrek as a possible person they told Lily's plans to when going through the list of potential traitors. At least they're finally getting smart and planning to use the Marauder's Map to see what everyone is up to around the castle. If I was them I would start planting false information with different people to try to prove who is passing along information. It can't be long now before they finally catch Alrek in the act.

Wonderful writing as always, Jami. Now that the paranoia has increased I'm interested to see who the group thinks they can trust and who they can't.

Alli

Author's Response: Good morning! You're not on skype yet! But I guess answering your review is the next best thing :P

Ch 25:
Aww I never thought about picking up on her angry mother mode really relating to her with a child, but that's such a cute analysis! I have a feeling, if they would have lived long enough, James would have been the one trying to be more of the pal and Lily would have been sending both him and the kids to time out :P

I completely agree with Sirius's weakness being how little control he has over his emotions. I think there were a few people who didn't like how angry he got in this, but to me it made perfect sense. In my head, this is the boy who, in a few short years, can go hunt down a best friend and attempt to kill him without even once thinking the serious implications it'll have on him. With Peter dead, or supposed to be dead like Sirius planned, there's no way of trying to prove his innocence. Not that he wanted to... he probably considered himself just as much to blame for suggesting Peter... Sorry, tangent, haha. Anyway, I really like that you picked up on how this anger this anger really is part of Sirius.

Typos! Thank you!!!

Chapter 26-
I knew you'd love the storm part! You and your rainstorm scenes :)! And I'm so happy you're liking Alice. I like writing her more than I ever thought I would!

Sneaky little Alrek just skirting right under their noses! Don't worry, he won't for long :P. To be totally honest, I hadn't thought much about bringing the map into it before this. Harry has a ton of use for it with all the sneaky stuff he's constantly up to, but in my head this is the year that the group is up to less sneaky stuff and more focused on working with their professors to make sure they're doing what they need to be safe and keeping each other safe. So using it for their own protection and to keep an eye on the DE felt like a good time to remind myself that it still exists :P!

I'm so happy you liked these chapters ♥ Getting to read along your running reviews and glimpse into Alli mind is so much fun. Now get to work soon and talk to me before I get bored :P!





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Review #4, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

12th May 2013:
Hi Jami! Sorry its taking me a while to catch up, but I'm getting there!

Once again you have shown us how flawlessly you can write the friendships between these people. Belles thoughts are pretty much how I expected them to be in regards to her feelings toward Sirius at this moment in time. It's totally understandable, as I said in the last chapter, the hurt she feels with how he dismissed her the way he did. I really enjoyed how she thought it out and went over things.

We then get to see her talk it through with her friends and once again they understand her and are so supportive of however she decides to take it from here. They also give her some good advice to help her. I just love Alice though; '"Except Belle," Alice added as they finished the descent down the last few stairs. "She'll come revise with us until Sirius shows up. Then she’ll spend the entire time trying so hard to ignore him that she'll have no idea what we're talking about."' I love the way she just bluntly says things like they are. Its a good dynamic to have in the group and makes me love her so much as a character.

The whole conversation between Sirius and Belle was a rollercoaster but I loved every second of it. One of my favourite bits though was where the Hufflepuff girl eyed Sirius, and even though she's still really angry at him the jealousy still kicks in, showing us how much she does care about him, regardless of what he's done.

They talk it out though and both understand how the other was feeling. The way they dealt with the whole issue is one of the highlights of their relationship for me and I really hope this makes them stronger as a couple! They're too lovely together to not be together.

Can I just say this quote: '"You think I give up that easily, princess? After watching James trail around Lily like a lovesick puppy for years, then that finally paying off, I’ve learned a thing or two about persistence."' Perfect. I loved it! This is exactly the kind of thing I could see Sirius saying!

Once again the meeting between the gang was just like picking up one of the seven books we know so well and watching the trio discussing the current events surrounds Hogwarts. It was fantastically written. The line '"I've known Severus most of my life," she said, her words sharp. "He may want power, and yes he’s going about it the wrong way, but he would never lead me into something that would get me killed."' though -Jami!! You're always always doing this to us! Gah when you know the ending it makes this so much harder.

I loved the unveiling of the Marauders Map. Lily is right - it is one of the most amazing inventions in the HP series.

I really enjoyed this chapter and the development of Sirius and Belle. Oh - and don't worry, belles accent was fine. It didn't bother me in the slightest!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Don't apologize! I'm just so happy you're still reading ♥

I really try and make sure to keep the girls personalities separate while still making it obvious how well they all fit together, so I'm extra happy you liked this section with them and their dynamic. Poor Belle has a lot of baggage and things she'll be more sensitive about than most people would.

Hahaha it FELT like a roller coaster when I was writing it! I very, very rarely just feel exhausted after finishing a section, but that one zapped everything out of me. I don't think their arguments would be clean and easy, I think they would be loud and messy and explosive. Just like the two people themselves ;).

Aww I'm so happy you quoted that line! Sirius is definitely one of my favorite characters to write.

Hahahah I don't really mean to, either! Like I don't set out thinking of lines I can to sort of twist the knife, but they just happen! And Severus, rawr. If only he'd have kept his fat mouth shut about what he overheard.

Phew! Belle's accent always worries me! I'm happy that it didn't bother you!

Thank you so much Lauren for spoiling me with your amazing reviews ♥


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Review #5, by Courtney Dark 

11th May 2013:
Ugh, stop writing such perfect chapters, you are making me far too jealous! On the other hand, don't stop writing such perfect chapters because I am now officially addicted to this story and your writing. I'm already dreading it being over, even though there's still a whole other book to go!

There were so many little bits and pieces I loved about this chapter (and wow, this review is taking forever to type, my fingers are so cold and numb and stiff they feel like they're about to fall off. Sorry. I just thought you might want to know that). Anyway, when Frank mentioned the werewolves, and used the words 'one' and 'it' I felt like I was going to cry at Remus's reaction! He's just too sweet and Frank's comment was so hurtful without him even realizing it! Sob!

OMG THE LINE: “I’ve known Severus most of my life,” she said, her words sharp. “He may want power, and yes he’s going about it the wrong way, but he would never lead me into something that would get me killed.” The irony! I love how you keep sneaking little pieces of foreshadowing like this into your chapters - it definitely keeps them very interesting!

Love the ending. Don't know why, I just do.

I'm so glad Belle and Sirius made up! I think you wrote Sirius absolutely perfectly in this chapter, especially when he started raging about the other members of the Black family. And I loved Belle's reaction to the Hufflepuff girl who was 'undressing him with her eyes'.

Great chapter!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: YOU are going to give me an ego the size of Texas. I'm still half convinced when people review or read my story it's because they talk to me on the forums and want to be nice or something, so I can't get over the fact that you're still reading ♥

That happens to me too, with fingers getting cold. You feel like you've been typing forever and then it's like one sentence, haha! Here, have a magic finger fixer potion. POOF!

I am a huge fan of irony, and us all knowing how their story ends gives me a lot of room to play with that. Now I just want to go tie Severus to a boat and send him to Argentina or something.

I'm so happy you liked their little talk! And I couldn't resist reminding everyone that Sirius is definitely still at the top of Hogwarts' girls lists, haha.

Ahh I'm on to your last review. You've seriously made laying in bed all night with strep throat so much better ♥


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Review #6, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

7th May 2013:
I know I've said it before, but Jami, your writing is improving so much!! I'll get into all the nitty-gritty in a sec, but I just have to say, without question, you did some of your best writing to date in the Belle/Sirius scene. I'm just so full of happy squeees for you right now!!

That out of the way, I'll have to be brief on the rest. My notes on this one are already pushing the character limit :P

You set up the Belle/Sirius confrontation wonderfully. The end of the last chapter left me feeling like Belle was being a bit immature, so focused on how the boyfriend who usually treats her well got caught up in the moment and acted like a bit of a jerk. It felt real and true to character, but it kind of made me want to roll my eyes and tell her not to be such a drama queen. In relationships, you have to let some things slide. But you did a lovely job of humanizing her throughout the chapter and reminding us that she brings a lot of baggage to the table. She's going to be extra sensitive to these sorts of slights, and if Sirius wants to be with her, he's going to have to learn to recognize that.

I thought this line in particular really captured where she was coming from: And it wasn't that she wanted to be upset, it was that she simply couldn't be anything else. Your feelings are your feelings, and sometimes you just have to feel them! As the fight progressed, I had a little trouble pinpointing what was bothering her most. That she needed him more than he needed her? That he blew her off? That he thought she was too fragile to handle the situation? She seemed to have different reasonings at different times, so that might be something to relook at, but you still did a great job at making us feel for her and showing that she has even more depth than we might have thought.

The war wouldn't last forever. Another one of those gut-wrenching lines you like to sneak in on us. In a way, none of them ever really see the war end. All of them are brought down by Voldemort in one form or another. So sad!

Mr. Moody. For some reason, this made me giggle, hearing anything aside from Mad-Eye used before his name.

Okay, getting back to why I thought this scene was some of your best writing: A gust of chilly wind came darting in. Despite the temperature, she continued down the aged steps with Sirius a few paces behind her. The fat, icy drops fell onto the hair she'd spent so long brushing, catching in her lashes and blurring her vision. What a great, smooth transition from one location to the next. Just the perfect amount of description to set the "new" scene. And ...she thought as she stepped aside to let the bodies and brooms go by. Bodies and brooms. What great alliteration!

Forcing myself to move along here... Eek! I'm so sorry if I'm in your head now! I don't even like having myself in my own head most of the time :P Seriously though, the whole scene was very well laid out. You set the scene to establish who was there, but pretty much kept it at that. I thought it worked really well. And I didn't think it was at all "too convenient" that they don't suspect Alrek yet. They are clearly focused on known or suspected DEs, which makes the most sense since there isn't a shortage of suspicious characters lurking about :P

Just a few other quick notes on the scene. I loved the mention of the sleeping potion. It's great that you aren't letting the notion of Lily wanting to be a Healer slide, even without referencing it directly. And I LOVED the mentions of Snape. I know, I know... but the line: Sure, he probably didn't say the curse, but who do you think brewed the potion? So good, Jami!! I love that idea - of him being this creepy boy at school who has not only the inclination but also the ability to poison people without being caught. Not to mention:

Severus did make it clear that the Dark Arts was where he wanted to be, but she knew without a fragment of doubt that he would never let her walk blindly into death.

Come on! Are you trying to kill us here, knowing how what he eventually tells Dumbledore leads directly to her death?!?

Okay, I have to stop now or I won't be able to fit in the typos below. Really, it's such a treat watching you grow as a writer with each passing chapter!

-When James told them what was on his mind, she herself had started thinking only of who it could be and what she'd do to them when she found them. (not wrong, just awkwardly worded)

-Alright alright (Alright, alright)

- ...Alice added as the girls began their walk down the the Great Hall (down to the Great)

-Her feet moved on their own accord... (OF their own accord is the more common phrasing)

-One girl whose name she was wasn't certain of, but recognized the nearly black hair, eyed Sirius as she walked by. (One girl whose name she was wasn't certain of but recognized by the nearly black hair... OR One girl whose name she was wasn't certain of, but who she recognized by the nearly black hair...)

-But I didn't want be there for what I wanted to do to Regulus (missing a few words)

-I don't know Belle (know, Belle)

-His anger she could handle, she could stay just as angry for probably longer. (comma splice)

-"Okay, well, we'll leave him listed," Lily deciding (decided)

-And they're all seventh years, with more chances to over hear us than any other Slytherins (overhear)

-Lily's turned her head, meeting Sirius's eyes. She'd accepted the way they used to treat her former best friend, though she'd still never let them forget how childish they'd been, at least she'd moved past it. (Lily turned her head... friend, AND though she'd)

- ...Belle said, sitting up straighter in her cocoon of blanket (cocoon of a blanket)

-But I do think we need to keep an eye on where all the Prospects all are (delete 1 all)

-"And this, my friends," James began, his voice full of pride. "Is the Marauder's Map." (of pride, "is the...")

Author's Response: I am so annoyed right now. I had this review about 85% replied to and then accidentally did the two finger swipe on my Mac and made it go 'back.' And when I went forward, the review was gone. RAWR.

Re do! :P

So when I saw this review first I was on a work call and it took all of my self control not to just completely ignore the person on the phone and read your review instead. Those last ten minutes or so of that phone call was brutal knowing I had a Becky review just waiting for me to read.

I can't even tell you how happy it makes me that you see improvement in my writing. I've felt so down on it lately, and reading this review made me feel a zillion times better. I think it's hard to telly our own improvement. I mean, I know I"m getting better in my own head with knowing what to do/what not to do, but you actually being able to see a difference is just a huge deal to me. Thank you :hug:

I'm so happy that this chapter humanized Belle more and sort of justified her more dramatic reaction in last chapter. To be honest, I struggled with what you commented on about not being able to pinpoint what was bothering her the most. I kept changing my mind with what she'd be more upset about and couldn't decide which one to focus on, so I decided to just throw them all in a pot together, haha!

That line about her not wanting to feel that way was one of the few of mine that I actually like. It's pretty rare that I go, 'hey. I really like that.' with my own writing, so knowing that one stood out at you makes me so happy. I think the fact that she's allowing herself to feel all this in the first place is a huge step to her own emotional recovery and stability. But that might just be more in my head than anything else :P

How sad is it that all of them die before they see the war to an end? Remus gets so close to making it through...

You know when we're in those tough situations and sort of just think, 'well, it has to get better eventually.' I can't imagine how many times they said that to one another during the war. And how many times they reassured each other that it will be all over soon. Knowing that never happened just makes me so sad. I want to mark this story AU and say that Voldemort died of a terrible freak lightning bolt strike :P.

I always giggle when I type Mr. Moody too :P. It just seems to proper for him :P

Okay, what I am about to say may sound relatively creepy. Err. I apologize for that. I'm a bit of a reviewer stalker though. Especially if I really like those person's review and have read a story that they've reviewed.

But anyway. I saw you'd reviewed a chapter of Wolf Calling that I read, and in that review you talked about transitions a bit. And it made me want to change mine up a bit to make them quicker but still easy to understand, and yeah. This transition that you pointed out with them going outside, when I wrote it I pretty much put you in my head to try and get it short and sweet but still enough to set a scene. Hehe. Sorry, I know I'm a creepy review stalker.

No! Stay in my head!!! It's so nice with you in here :P

I'm so happy you didn't think that not suspecting Alrek was too convenient! It just didn't feel like it belong here. And I KNEW you'd love the Severus bit!

Both getting the boys more negative opinion and watching Lily defend him was really fun for me. Keeping him... alive I guess... in this story and not making it seem like he's just disappeared is important to me. But I also don't want to make it seem like he's a big part of their every day life or anything.

NO ONE HAS POINTED OUT THE IRONY OF THAT LINE. The line about Severus would never let her walk blindly into death. I'm so happy that you did. You always pick up on everything. You're so awesome *reaches across state lines and hugs Becky.*

Thank you for the typos! Going to edit them in right now! And thank you so, so much for giving me back the confidence I've been lacking the last few weeks ♥


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Review #7, by MissMdsty 

21st April 2013:
What is this? I'm reading? And to top it all off, I'm reviewing? It's been a while I know. I wish I could tell you what exactly I did and be proud of all the RL stuff I got accomplished except I have no idea where the last week went.

But I'm here now! And no cheating! I didn't even peek at chapter 27!

I loved how this chapter began with Belle's internal struggle. She is so conflicted I just love her. It's like she wants to be happy but then again... what if that rips apart the fabric of space and time? Lucky she has Sirius to keep her grounded on that one. I loved her little spark of jealousy when she saw the Hufflepuff Quidditch player looking at Sirius. I'd have reacted in the same way!

This is my favorite line:

“You think I give up that easily, princess? After watching James trail around Lily like a lovesick puppy for years, then that finally paying off, I’ve learned a thing or two about persistence.”

I just want to take Sirius and run away with him! Squee! Oh and by the way, I was right! Alice did fix it! She made Belle think twice about her stubborn ways!


And the gang all gathers around to find out who could be passing along the information! And once again James, who could tell us how many times Lily turns her page per hour when she's reading, did not remember that there's a creepy foreign student dancing in circles around his lady friend! I just wanna shake him!

I loved the note on which you ended this chapter, with the big reveal of the Map. It makes them feel so gangster like. I love that! Now I'm off to see what happens next! :)

Author's Response: Yay!!! Ral's here!!! Hahahah that happens to me, too. And usually I was just being a slug and not actually doing anything productive, haha. I'm the queen of just laying around sometimes.

I'm so happy you loved Belle's internal struggle in this! You knew I wasn't going to keep them angry at one another for long, but of course I thought they deserved a proper fight ;). Haha!

And Alice did fix it! I was actually going to have Sirius approach her first without the girls, but then... we can't break tradition by not having Alice talk some sense into her stubborn friends! Hehe!

Thank you so much for your amazing review, m'dear! I'm so excited to read the next chapter of Twin Wands! I finished all my cleaning for the day so I should be over there soon!



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Review #8, by CambAngst 

15th April 2013:
Hi, Jami!

Yay, a big Sirius/Belle chapter! I hesitate to say "The" big Sirius/Belle chapter, because I think they have a couple more big milestones to go. But they made it through the fight, and I bet that's a huge thing, especially for Sirius. He seems like the sort who isn't in the habit of sticking it out through the tough parts of a relationship.

By the way, I've been keeping score. So far, we've had two big James/Lily chapters -- maybe 3, depending on how you score the Christmas one -- and two big Sirius/Belle chapters. How about a big Frank/Alice chapter? Granted, their relationship is farther down the proverbial road than the other two, but I don't think that makes them any less deserving of tingly, heart-warming feels. Am I alone on this? :p

Back to the chapter. I loved the progression you take Belle on over the course of this chapter. She's so grumpy, and withdrawn at the start. It was a cute but poignant touch, the way that she's going to take all morning in the bathroom just because she can. I have half a feeling that her desire not to be pestered about her relationship with Sirius plays a role in that. Even while she's being kind of immature, she's still motherly, though. It seems like a big part of the reason she's so upset with Sirius is the fact that he nearly threw his whole future away on a single moment of rage and vengeance. She's such a complex character. I love her!

While I'm at it, by the way, I loved her thoughts about James and Lily and how the two of them reacted to their brush with death. It was heart-warming. And the quick little aside about Lily's memory blanket protecting her from the nightmares was a fantastic reminder of just how fragile their happiness can be.

Alice halted in place, positioning her hands on her hips. “Sorry, Isabelle. You might be able to lie to yourself, but lying to us isn’t nearly as easy.” - The relationship doctor is IN. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Alice? Her anecdote about Frank struggling to get his head back together after the attack on the Bones family was a great counterpoint to Belle's situation.

I was glad to see Sirius make the first move to try and put things right between himself and Belle. I doubt that was easy for him. Coming from a nest of angry pure blood nutters, I'm thinking that life hasn't conditioned him to seek out conflict with people who are angry at him.

“Let’s walk,” she heard herself suggest before turning her body away from him. Her feet moved on their own accord, her mind too focused on trying to keep her blue eyes free of the emotions swelling up inside her. She didn’t want this − any of it. -- Aww, poor thing! She's so torn up inside.

The funny thing about Belle's character is that I've never really thought of her as being weak. Since her first appearance in the story, she's had that fiery temper and no-nonsense attitude that make her seem like a very formidable person. Nobody that you want to trifle with. Then we got to know her story and find out who she used to be and where she comes from. And I still didn't think of her as being weak, but it introduced this enormous vulnerability that we didn't know about before. We saw the person that she once was and is determined to never be again.

I think that she just took another big step away from ever relapsing back into that frightened, easily manipulated girl who was easy prey for her parents and Christophe. The determination and conviction and fire in the belly that she shows while arguing with Sirius was an awesome demonstration of just how far she's come. What was it that Dumbledore said about it being harder to stand up to your friends than your enemies? In this chapter, Belle stood up to the man that probably means more to her than anyone else in the world. And she did it without letting her temper really get the best of her. This was a huge chapter for her.

Sirius finally let some of his own walls down for her. I really liked the way that he shared one of his biggest anxieties with her. It seemed like a very personal thing. He's definitely the sort who likes to pretend that he doesn't care what other people think of him, and he's probably tell you that you could think whatever the hell you wanted if you told him that he was just like his family. But in reality, that's the part of himself that he fears most.

The way you ended their section was brilliant! That Hufflepuff girl had better watch out!

It was really neat to see the whole group sitting down to try to piece together who passed word to Voldemort about James and Lily's trip to Wales. Everyone seemed to contribute in their own way, and I really liked how you managed to give so many different characters a bit of the spotlight in this one. It's too bad that Lily was so preoccupied with her feelings for James during the Quidditch match! Otherwise, it would probably dawn on her who it was that knew about the wedding. :(

Frank's rationale -- well, Moody's rationale as told by Frank, I guess -- was really clever and totally true. Voldemort demands just as much from his Propsects as his marked followers. Nobody gets in for free, and once you've expressed an interest there's no way out.

Lily has such a huge blind spot for Snape. In this case, she's actually correct, but she really can't be as sure of that as she feels.

I am really excited to see where the story goes next. As I look back, it's really hard to believe that 26 not-at-all-short chapters have come and gone. It just doesn't seem like the story has been that long! Great job!

Author's Response: I'm here I'm here! And I should absolutely be ashamed of myself :(! Sorry I'm being a slow poke this week and taking a week to respond.

Hahahah well with that sort of convincing argument, how could I deny you the tingly heart warming Alice and Frank moments :P. Really though, I will try and get their chapter in soon. Scouts honor. Although I was never a girl scout so I'm not sure if me saying that actually means anything.

I love what you said about Belle taking so long in the bathroom just because she can. That's exactly what I wanted to get across. She knows she needs to shake a leg and get to it, but she refuses to even let that rush her. She's going to stand in front of that damn mirror until her heart is content, haha.

I really hadn't planned on turning to Alice to help Belle get her head out of you know where and think things through, but it just felt like a tradition that I couldn't break, haha.

Your 'awww poor thing' made my heart all happy, haha. She sort of feels like a little kitten who keeps hissing and hissing but you know all the kitten needs is a few cuddles to feel all better.

I love that you pick up on all the tiny things going on around/through Belle. She isn't weak, we all see that, but she's convinced herself she is and that's why all those bad things happened. The fact that you realize she's reclaiming such an important part of herself with standing up to Sirius and making sure she's heard, makes me so happy I just want to hop up and down. I'm at the book store though right now, and I think that may be frowned upon.

I'm really happy Frank's regurgitation of Moody's information made sense. I wanted them to sort of lay off the idea of it having to be a Death Eater but wanted them to have a convincing reason. We know they aren't going to stop speculation everyone, but at least I've managed to make it clear through Frank that the Prospects might have more of a connection with Voldemort than the group things.

26 no-at-all-short hahahahah. Ain't that the truth, Dan. And I couldn't have anyone better to share these last nearly 200,000 words with!! ♥


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Review #9, by DracoGal 

13th April 2013:
I loved this chapter!! I love love love Belle and Sirius together! They're perfect for each other hehe! I can't wait to read the next chapter next week! (:

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked this chapter DracoGal!! I really enjoy writing Belle and Sirius together as well, so it makes me ecstatic that you like them!

Than you so much for stopping by ♥

Jami


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Review #10, by patronus_charm 

13th April 2013:
I am totally with Belle on this. Silly Sirius treating her like that, I mean, how could he? She’s just so sweet, and he helped her with Christophe and her family so he should have let her do the same. Guys can be so dense at times! I felt so bad for Belle though, as you can tell how much it hurt her, and her confusion over why he did that.

The moments of humour in this chapter were really lovely too. I can just imagine how long Belle would take in the bathroom; she seems like the type of person to take an age! Then Lily’s dream made me laugh too, and I really wish I was there to see that moment, as I can imagine that it would be pretty hilarious.

Pff sorry Belle, but I agree with Alice Belle is a terrible liar. You could see how she’s just moping around thinking about Sirius, but not doing anything about it. I liked Alice’s observations of her, as it’s so true. I can just imagine her now peering over a book and looking at him, and thinking about him, but just sitting there.

I think this line is the one which has made me most nervous so far – ‘“Belle, can we talk?” She was so focused on attempting to ignore him that the sound of his voice only inches from her ear startled her.’ I was just sitting there on tenterhooks waiting for her answer, and hoping dearly it would be positive. I think the others were feeling the same due to their silence, and Lily had to go and ruin their fun by rushing them away, I guess it made sense that way.

Go Belle! Even though I want her and Sirius to be together and cutesy again, I felt proud of her that she’s now strong enough to stand up against things she doesn’t like. She couldn’t really do that with her parents and Christophe and it just landed her in giant mess. I guess Sirius gave her that confidence to stand up, and now she’s using it against him. It’s rather funny when you think about it like that.

Wah, all that tension and drama I could barely deal with it all. Belle was getting angry and yelling her point of view, then Sirius jumped and began shouting and swearing. It was perfect, and there both so fiery it suited them so well, as I could never imagine James and Lily having the same type of argument. I’m pleased that Sirius cared about her enough that he didn’t want to show her that he could sometimes resort down to their levels.

Yay they went back to being all cutesy. I loved the ending to their fight, and it seemed fitting that Belle would forgive him. I loved that bit about Sirius mentally undressing that girl, it seemed so him, and it was nice that Belle wasn’t overtly angry about it.

Now we have tension of a different kind. It seems so them that they would narrow down the suspects, and I was just sitting there yelling at my laptop ‘It’s Alrek, listen to me’. Then I felt kinda stupid as I realised they couldn’t hear me… Oh well, I went back to shouting at Lily for still being loyal to Snape. As much as I like Snape as a character I really dislike him around this time as he is evil then, and Lily really shouldn’t like him, as he doesn’t deserve.

The marauders map! I love that object, and I’ve always wanted one, as it would be really cool! It makes sense to use it, and I can’t believe I forgot about it until now, so I’m sitting here feeling kind of stupid again!

This was another amazing chapter Jami, and in regards to Belle’s accent it wasn’t a problem at all :D

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Guys really are so dense sometimes. I think that Y chromosome must eat away a bit of their brain or something :P.

I'm putting the fact that you'd like to see the time when Alice and Lily turned Sirius's wand on my list! I mentioned in my MTA that I want to do a 'missed moments' short story collection after book one and two, so I'm trying to keep track of the missed moments anyone wants to see!

Belle really is a terrible liar, isn't she? haha! And a pathetic little moper! I'm really happy you think Belle did the right thing by standing up for herself. I didn't want to show her being okay with it all too easily, and thought Sirius's reasoning would be what really helped. But like you said, she couldn't do it with Christophe or her parents and now that Sirius had taught her how, she's using it against him :P. We're sneaky things, us girls. Haha!

I can't tell you how happy I am that you loved their argument and the fire behind it. I definitely think these two would have some legendary screaming matches with how passionate of people they are. And I agree, I think James and Lily's arguments would be much different. I could see Lily shouting, but I think James is much more prone to closing up and going all quite and moody than yelling.

Well if it makes you feel better I haven't done much at all to bring the map into this. I wanted to wait for the whole group to see it until it really made sense, and this felt like a good time, hehe.

I love that you were shouting at them that it's Alrek, I was really hoping someone would!

Thank you so much for your amazing reviews, Kiana ♥ and I'm so excited to hear that Belle's accent wasn't a problem! ♥


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Review #11, by ValWitch21 

13th April 2013:
I'm making this short because I'm watching the Lizzie Bennet diaries.

So much Belle in this chapter, yay! I like that she needs her isolation, that she's often late, and that she talked to Sirius and that they aren't angry at each other anymore!

Out of curiosity, have Belle and Sirius kissed yet? I can't remember. Oh well, I'll just have to reread this.

But anyway, SIRIBELLE WAS CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE (there's the cute again) and I think this was one of my favourite chapters so far, actually!

And the map. It's so refreshing to see a story take 26 chapters to get to this point, instead of having the boys blabbing about.

Also, I loved the mention of the quilt.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This chapter was lovely
And so are you!

(I hope I at least get first review for submitting such an incoherent mess).

&hearts

(Johanna and Astrid are waiting for you, by the way, and I hope you found the dog toy you were looking for!)

This makes no sense, oops.

&hearts &hearts &hearts

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked all the Belle in this chapter!! Yes, Belle and Sirius's first kiss was after they talked to her parents and they were back in the park waiting for James's Patronus :). It was a whirlwind of a chapter though, so I don't blame you for not remembering, hehe.

I'm so happy you think they were cute in this chapter!!! I loved giving them their first fight then watching those two brats fix themselves. Heheh.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments! And I wish Johanna and Astrid were still waiting for me, that would mean I'd have more the read! Hehe!!

♥ Jami


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