12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
Her anger at Sirius was justified but she also doesn't understand his relationship with Regulus. However, I can't see Sirius attacking Regulus. He hates him, yes, but that's his brother. I think if they fought against each other in the war it would be hard on both of them because Regulus did change his mind about the Dark Lord. He cared for Sirius and in turn Sirius cared for Regulus. It was both in their own silent way. I don't think he would have hurt him. I think he would have probably hexed him but he wouldn't have killed him and he wouldn't have done any major damage to him.

Of course if he had gotten to his brother in time and changed his mind earlier and wasn't so prideful they could have had some sort of relationship again.

 Report Review

Review #2, by PinkRose 

19th July 2014:
Lovely, I love the way you write. I can feel the emotions and the tensions building like tides.

 Report Review

Review #3, by nott theodore 

12th July 2014:
Hello, Jami!

Aw, the opening part of this chapter was so cute! I love the idea of James and Lily being able to communicate with little pictures of each other, kind of like the two way mirrors but only for them, and it was adorable seeing James acting like a lovesick puppy, as he put it. The mention of how his friends would tease him was great, because it reminded us that they are just young still, and I loved the bit when James was happy about being able to get Lily all angry, it made me laugh so much.

Okay, I wanted to shout at the group of them when James finally told them that he thought there was someone at Hogwarts spying on them. IT'S ALREK, GUYS! It's so annoying that we know that but they don't, and I felt sorry for Regulus actually when Sirius automatically assumed it was him. Of course it's not, but that quick anger felt really in character for Sirius - maybe the fact that he made Belle angry with him will make him think twice about reacting so much, though! I wonder what this term has in store...

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

 Report Review

Review #4, by Courtney Dark 

11th May 2013:
I can't believe I'm already up to chapter 25! I have to say, I'm looking forward to being caught up with everyone else! I'm also a little amazed that I am still so hooked and captivated by this story all the way at chapter 25. Every chapter I read, I can't wait to find out what happens next!

I loved the idea of picture Lily! That was an awesome present and definitely demonstrated Lily's talent for charms! Actually, the whole of James's section was great - it was kinda nice to see a little bit of the old James shining through, especially when he heard those younger students playing exploding snap in their compartment. I also thought it was very in character how he thought: 'God, if any of his mates saw him acting like a lovesick puppy over this, they’d never let him live it down.'

Oooh, James's big revelation was that he believes someone is watching them...IT'S ALREK! I was almost pulling my hair out as he told them that - I so badly wanted to scream at them that it was Alrek who was spying on them. But alas, I do not have magical abilities and can talk through a computer screen.

I actually love how quickly Sirius snapped and assumed the spy was his brother. Out of the whole group, he has always been the one with the biggest temper, and we can see this temper shining through especially in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, so it was great to see that teenage Sirius has a lot of this temper, too. I also liked James's description: 'Sirius was always the one to stomp about like a child if he felt even slightly off.'

Anyway, as I said, it was really nice to see Sirius lose it! I actually wanted him to punch Regulus, for being such a conceited little...probably not 12+ word so I'll restrain myself. And thought it wasn't exactly Belle's business, I do feel he overreacting a little bit by shouting at her like that - she was only trying to help, and Sirius would have done the same if their places were swapped.

I love the fact that it took practically all of his mates to calm Sirius down. And I think Sirius was very right when he said it looked like it was going to be a brilliant term. I'm excited to see what you have in store for these awesome characters!


Author's Response: I can't believe you're at chapter 25 either!! I really thought you'd read like the first ten chapters and be like, oh my gosh this is way too long. Totes peace out. haha. And I'm so insanely excited that the chapters are still keeping you interested!

James makes an adorable boyfriend, doesn't he? I think if Lily looks the other way, I might sneak in and take him. And Sirius. I want both. mwahaha. Greedy much?

Hahah don't pull your hair out! They're stubborn, they probably would have just looked at you like you were crazy if you managed to get through the computer. Lily would have given you detention for disturbing the peace :P

As much as I love Sirius, showing his darker side is important to me too. This is a boy who has enough of temper that he went after Peter, every intention of murdering him. Not that I'm saying Peter didn't deserve that, but most people would want to hear their friend out. All Sirius wanted to do was kill him. So showing that temper is there feels like the best way to make sure Sirius's darker side isn't ignored. And he's still gorgeous, even as a grumpy, bratty teen. :P

Courtney how am I ever going to thank you for all these amazing reviews?? I have little red hearts floating around my head!

 Report Review

Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

9th May 2013:
Hello again :)

Aww the pictures are so cute. You really did think this present thing through so well. Your James and Lily are everything I expected them to be from what JK told us and every encounter between them just makes me so so happy. I love them. I have such a soft spot for James! When he's thinking about Lily and his relationship with her it just makes me smile. You have all of his character absolutely spot on. From thinking of how much Lily fits in with his home life to being worried about losing her and thinking of all their past including a certain Slytherin. The part with his mum in particular I felt I could really relate to as I see the same thing with my bf and my dad and it always makes me so happy to see they're getting on and like seeing each other. I also like how James is sorry for the terrible things he did but theres still the rivalry there that will never go. I think you have him in the right place regarding Snape.

I like that you've had James deduce the fact someones watching them. It was very similar to reading Harry have a conversation with Hermione and Ron when he's figured something similar out so that was good to see. I love it when we see something in James and Lily that is very Harry.

Ooh I love the origins of spells too! Interesting idea having Snape be the inventor of that spell, although very believable after we know he made up others. I like it!

Ooh I don't know who's side I'm on with the Sirius/Belle thing. Sirius anger wasn't uncalled for but he did act before he'd thought everything through and it would have gotten him into trouble if the boys weren't there. Maybe it's because we were in his head so to speak but I totally understand why he asked Belle to leave. He didn't want her to see that side of him. He should know better though and if I had been in Belles position I would be angry at him. Especially as he knows she has her own family issues and he helped her. Oh it's too much to wrap my head around. I just hope they don't argue for too long about it.

Another really great chapter here. I love that the gang are working out things steadily. It all leads up well to them being in the order eventually. I'm so excited that I can keep reading!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren Lauren ♥ I'm way too excited to be replying to your reviews again.

I'm sure I've told you before how important giving the characters a story they deserve is to me, so knowing you think I have them spot on is just such a huge compliment.

I wanted to make it clear that James does think he acted a bit too harshly when he was younger, but that doesn't mean he's ready to drop all hatred. Snape isn't a good person, or at least he wasn't here. James knows that, but he also knows he didn't come off any better sometimes.

I loved writing that! The figuring out sort of scene. That's what I thought too while working on it, and I got all those R&H&H feels and now I just want to read the books again, haha!

Ahh I actually can't take credit for having Snape invent the Muffliato charm. That's actually a canon fact! I figured that out while googling how to spell it :P

I don't know who's side I was more on with the Sirius Belle thing either. Though I think you'll like the conclusion they come to next chapter ;). I think Belle is going to be really sensitive about certain things, and Sirius understands what it's like to be broken. I do know that I love writing angry Sirius though, haha!

I'm so excited you liked this chapter, and I can't even tell you how happy I am to have you reading again. Your reviews are such a treat, and I feel so spoiled every time I see you on my AP ♥

 Report Review

Review #6, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

17th April 2013:
Hopefully it goes without saying that the time it takes me to leave a review is not a reflection of how excited I am to read a chapter. But just in case ... consider it said. Also, I'm finding that my writer's block is starting to bleed over into reviewer's block, so if this seems shorter than usual or I seem to only be zoning in on your AoCs, know that it's totally a "it's not you, it's me" sort of thing :P

I thought you picked the story up again at a very natural point. Having this all happen on the train does make a lot of sense. Sure, it could have happened back at school, but then James would have wasted the chance to discuss his suspicions with all his friends present in one place, and it would have been a lot harder for Sirius to confront Regulus since they aren't in the same house or the same year... plus that pesky added complication of teachers always hanging around.

The bit with the snitch was a great added touch. Not only was it sweet, it also provided great continuity with the previous chapter. The snitch kept us grounded in place in the story even as we moved forward in time and space. The only transition that felt a bit abrupt to me was the move to Sirius's POV. Obviously the page break helps a lot, but we didn't have any "time" inside Sirius's head to help ease the transition. We are just sort of BAM! in the new moment and new POV. It's not really the starting of the scene with dialogue... Maybe just the need for some sort of acknowledgement that Sirius had been having his own life throughout the first scene, like... Sirius, who'd spent the last two hours since leaving King's Cross Station alternating between sleeping and playing with a strand of hair that fallen loose from Belle's ponytail, stopped his fidgeting as James's voice filled their now silent compartment. Obviously just a suggestion, but hopefully that at least helps illustrate what I mean.

I found everything James was feeling to be very natural. It doesn't really matter how in love he is with Lily, he's still young and it isn't at all surprising that he's nervous... even if he knows how good they are together. I think it's a perfectly human reaction to worry that you'll lose the thing you want the most, especially if you've waited a long time to get it. And I know you don't like Snape (:P) but I think you're right to continue to include some references to him. With everything that's passed between them all and their suspicions about his ties to the Death Eaters, his name is bound to come up from time to time.

I'll admit, I kind of thought the thing he was anxious to tell his friends was his continuing unease after Bella's attack. Since that was an important part of the scene immediately preceding this, I was anticipating that would tie in somehow. Not that I didn't enjoy the revelation of what was really bothering him. Of course, we know Alrek's part in all this, but I still hadn't really put together that THEY hadn't put together all the pieces with what was and wasn't said in the letter. James is so clever, isn't he?

For some reason, I really enjoy watching Sirius fly off the deep end. I find it... oddly gratifying. He's got a good heart, but he really is the loose cannon in the group. I'm not one for promoting violence, but it's not hard to want to see Sirius wipe that self-satisfied smirk off his brother's face. And can I just say, I loved the line: "This isn't the way we're going to handle it," James whispered. So cool. So collected and commanding. What a great moment for James.

You asked about the buildup and cause, and honestly, I'm a little torn. The resulting fallout with Belle was totally understandable. Of course, it would be nice if she was willing to be a bit more mature about it and understand this wasn't really about her, but her reaction and the offense she takes here seems very in character. And I do get where Sirius is coming from. He's got a lot of anger, not only over the attack but in his life too, and he's looking for an easy target to focus his rage. I think your line He'd wanted so badly for it to be Regulus, to make someone pay for what had almost happened really says it all. He wants both someone to blame AND a reason to lash out at Regulus.

That said, he literally doesn't even give anyone else a second thought. I can totally buy him reacting on very flimsy, circumstantial evidence -- not waiting around for solid proof. But I feel like he has no proof at all... are there no other students with the DM, or anyone else known to be talking to Bellatrix? If that's actually true, making that clear or even having Sirius trying to convince the others my bringing up these facts might build that sense of "cause" you mentioned. Again, I REALLY liked the scene a lot and I totally agree Sirius doesn't need a lot to nudge him in this direction, but since you asked about it, I do think there is room to give his leap to judgment a bit more oomph.

Okay, perhaps not such a short review after all! Sorry again for the wait!! Just a few typos below...

-- "Get out here, now he ordered Regulus, his fingers aching to clench into fists and give the boy what he deserved for ever getting involved in this life (now," he ordered)

-- Did he think the threat of getting in trouble was was worth walking away, despite the fact that he’d almost lost his... (double "was")

-- Her tone had changed just enough that it was clear she was daring them to say anything negative about the future Death Eater. (not really a type, but saying "future Death Eater" sounds a bit like a omnipotent narrator aside. Maybe "wannabe DE" or "negative about the boy Sirius had no doubt was on his way to becoming a DE.")

Author's Response: Hiii Becky! I hope you've broken through your writers block! I got so angry at this story Friday when I was trying to plan a few things, that I think it was the closest I've ever came to wanting to say heck to it all and never touching it again. I probably sound a tad dramatic, huh? Hahah but really, I was mad. I feel better about it now, so I hope you feel the same about Undertow and are ready to shower lovely chapters on me!!

Yes, those are exactly the reasons the train made the most sense to me. I'm sure James was eager to tell his friends, so why he'd pass this up I wouldn't know. And, like you said, having Regulus in such a close proximity made it a really easy choice.

I totally see what you say with bamming Sirius into his perspective. I thought something felt off but couldn't really place it, and that's absolutely it. Thank you so much for pointing this out. I'll edited it to give a smoother transition as soon as I finish this reply!

I agree about him being bound to come up. Severus, that is. And am happy that it seems right in here and my dislike of him doesn't bleed over too much. And at this point in his life, he's a lot easier for me to like than adult Severus. There's a part in the next chapter about him that Lily says, and I think you'll really like that, hehe.

I've been so excited to have James put together the fact that Bellatrix knew too much. Originally it was planned to be a chapter ahead of this and occur at Christmas. When James started saying something to Lily then cut himself off, that's what it was going to be. But then it felt like he'd want to keep that day happy, and I didn't want to write him telling her than retelling the group. Sometimes having eight characters is a pain in the butt. Haha.

I'm so with you on enjoying Sirius flying off the handle. As much as I love him, I think it's important to show there is a man who's capable of murder in there. Did he actually murder Peter? No. Are any of us convinced he wouldn't have? I don't think so.

I like the idea of giving Sirius's anger a bit more oomph. You're full of fun words today, missy. He's the only one the group knows of that's been marked, but that's addressed a bit next chapter. I think maybe having Sirius start explaining why it has to be Regulus, but more talking to himself and already too set on his own theory to listen might be what I need to do here. Okay, now I'm basically talking to myself through this response. haha. Sorry :P.

Thank you so much for another absolutely amazing review ♥ I'm headed over to rerequest!

 Report Review

Review #7, by patronus_charm 

12th April 2013:
This feels so weird being all caught up and everything. Now I have my laptop back from repair, I’ll be joining everyone else on a Saturday waiting for the update!

James still has his snitch then? For some reason that makes me insanely happy! Even though he was playing with it, you could tell he was all grown up with his serious thoughts and calling the people who were playing snap amateurs, as he was doing that not too long ago. I loved the mirror/photo idea, it’s just so cute. You’re so good at coming up with magical items Jami, I can never seem to think of any!

The bit about Lily putting poinsettias on her parents grave really reminded me of when Harry went to his own parents grave. I always forget that James and Lily lost their parents too, and I’m dreading when James’ parents die, as they’re so lovely and then you know that their deaths are coming along soon.

Poor James though, he’s still so insecure gah it’s so cute. Most of the James/Lily stories I’ve read are from Lily’s POV, so you don’t really know what James is thinking which is a shame in my opinion, so I loved reading his thoughts in this chapter. They seemed to suite his character perfectly as it shows how much he loves her, if he’s still doubting that he deserves her.

Belle was perfect in this chapter, she’s just so her. I think it’s the way she’s brave enough to fight back at Sirius and acknowledges that he is a bighead, and that he does have faults, and that makes them being together even cuter. I love there banter, and then this line from Frank was great – ‘“If you two are finished,” Frank said,’ it suggests to me that the others find it as cute as I do.

It made sense that Sirius would know Bellatrix well enough to be able to recognise her characteristics and personality. You can really tell how dark and dangerous the outside world is, with how seriously they’re taking it. It almost left me as confused, scared and worried as they were all feeling.

Poor Regulus though, I think his life is possibly even more tragic than James and Lily’s. It’s so sad to see Sirius blame him, and shows how different they’ve become. Wah, now I’m getting all sad about him :’( I can understand why Sirius would feel like that, as it’s perfectly understandable. I just think that any actions that Regulus may have done as a death eater weren’t entirely his own, and that he was more under the influence of others. Ok enough about Regulus, and back to the story!

That scene was so dramatic, and Sirius was so anger fuelled, with his venomous thoughts, and telling Belle to go away. You couldn’t help but feel for her, as like she said, he helped her with her family so she should be allowed to do the same for him. Of course James would come along and save the day, you can see why he is head boy by the way he just calmed the situation.

Thank you for the shout out, even though I already knew about it. And I agree everyone should check out Detox, it’s great :D Another amazing chapter and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Kiana! ♥

Hahah it's so exciting that you're all caught up!! I can't even tell you how happy it makes me that you're reviewing on 'real time' now, hehe!

This Snitch isn't the one we see him playing with in the books, but the one that he got from Lily last chapter that she had carved :). I think she definitely got the idea from watching him play with the other Snitch though, hehe!

Aww I'm happy you like the magical items! Making those up is one of my favorite parts about this. Sometimes I get a bit carried away, though. Haha

I'm really happy that James and Lily going to their grave made you think of Harry. That's what I thought of well, and what a sad cycle it all is :(.

I think that making James feel a bit insecure was one of my favorite parts of this chapter. We always see him as confident, and showing that he does worry behind that calm exterior felt like the right thing to do. He's wanted Lily for so long... poor guy better not go and mess it up. Hehe.

I think Regulus is such a complicated character. He made such terrible choices, but it's clear he ended up regretting those by his actions with the locket. I just wish he'd have realized a little sooner what Voldemort really was about and never have gotten involved. Poor guy :(

I'm so happy you liked this chapter ♥ It's so scary how close to the end we're getting!!!

 Report Review

Review #8, by MissMdsty 

8th April 2013:
Jami, Jami, Jami. After such a lovely chapter, how could I have you committed? :D

I actually read this yesterday on my phone in the subway but I reached my stop before I could review so I read this one twice! :D

Again, you are amazing with the descriptions and setting the mood. I knew from the start it was going to be one of those memorable chapters, like when Sirius and Lily told everybody else about her parents.

The bit about James riling Lily up was so cute. Boys do that and it's annoying until you get that they're joking. They are the poster children for sweet couples and I love seeing them together. I know that in everybody's past there is that one incident they never talk about, but in James and Lily's there are all those times when she called him names and he was mean. I can still remember the first chapters so long ago when Lily was so broken and so reluctant to let anybody in, and here they are now. They grow up so fast! *sigh*

Finally James! You figured out somebody's watching you! Hint... Creepy exchange student drooling all over your girl! Think! I love when the group all get together and plot stuff and exchange this kind of information. There is a dynamic between them that is amazing.

And Sirius, little hotheaded Sirius, always jumping to conclusions. To be fair, I'd be all over it as well. I do that all the time, make this scenario in my mind and then look for things around me to confirm it. Sometimes I'm right, but mostly I'm not. The confrontation between the Black brothers was really intense. They are both suck strong characters and when they go head to head, sparks are bound to fly. And nobody makes sparks fly like you, my dear!

I'm sad to see that no sooner had he gotten things right with Belle that he screwed it up. She is so proud and has been hiding under this strong mask for so long that this may have just made her snap back into that. Maybe Alice will fix it?

This chapter has made room to so many questions. What is the rest of James' story? Has he figured how who the spy is and what they want? Is this the thing that makes Sirius go out on a limb and make that one dramatic and romantic gesture that will make me fangirl over him for all the rest of time? Is there a limit to how amazing one person can be? Because you get better and better!

I loved this, 25 chapters in and you still leave me breathless with excitement when I read your story! Good job!

Author's Response: Hi Ral ♥ YAY you won't have me committed? I can stay free?! Woohoo! Hehe! I'm happy you liked the bit with James trying to get Lily riled up. Honestly, I think it's annoying even after you know they're just joking, almost MORE annoying then because you know they're doing JUST to annoy you! Haha!

They do grow up so fast, don't they?! I just want to pull them out and huggle them all. Stinking fictional characters not being able to come into RL.

Hahaha I love your not so subtle hint to James :P! I had fun getting them together to work out this kind of thing, as well. Even if it just ends up in Sirius being angry... it was fun while it lasted :P.

I'm so happy you liked the little Black Brother's show down!!! I don't want to ignore Sirius's more dramatic sides to his personality, like the way that he hunts Peter down after figuring out it was him that betrayed Lily and James, so slipping in these times where we do get to see his legendary anger at work is always fun for me

"Maybe Alice will fix it?" Oh my gosh that may be the best thing I've ever read. Hahaha. Alice has gotten quite the role of 'fix all' in this, hasn't she?

I can't even respond to the rest of your review. I'll turn into a mushy puddle. Thank you so much for all your amazing compliments and for making it through these first 25 chapters with me!!! There isn't a whole lot left to go in this book. I wish I could say I was sad about that, but I'm SO excited to start book two!

Thank you so much m'dear ♥ Your reviews always bring a huge smile to my face!

 Report Review

Review #9, by ValWitch21 

8th April 2013:
Okay. I'm in a wonderfully good mood right now, so forgive me if this review is all over the place.

THE PICTURE! meep meep. James is so cute in his attitude towards Lily, and yes I know, if he hears me questioning his manliness I'm in rather deep trouble but I can't help it: CUTE CUTE CUTE &hearts

She didn't mention anything about Bellatrix, but instead told them of the wedding and how suitable Vernon seemed for Petunia. Well, that was absolutely true, James thought.
Haha, this shouldn't make me laugh because BEllatrix is an absolutely vile woman, but this just so James, and I can't resist anyone poking at fun at Vernon the Walrus and Horsey Petunia. Maybe they should open a zoo?

Aw, I love how Lily is weaving her way into the Potter family so easily. This almost looks like a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law scene already. I'm a little surprised at how acceptant Olivia is, but maybe that's based off the stories in my family... When my brother was born, my mum's first reaction was 'Oh God, I'll have a daughter-in-law one day!' I wish I was joking. Of course, Olivia is so lovely through and through that this scene feels completely in character, not to mention she loves her son and wants him happy. See? I ramble when I speak about her.

JAMES DIDN'T CALL SNAPE SNIVELLUS. I could marry you right now, seriously (you know, in a metaphorical way): I love how James has evolved and respects Lily to the point that he's trying to be respectful of her friends, even when he can't stand them. Not to mention that Snape doesn't really deserve to be trusted, as we know, and yet he does, but this so confusing right now that I'll stop bleating.

I have missed angry!Lily so much, it was good to see her back again, glaring at James. Just a small typo though: James's face broke into a grin as Lily placed her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes into a glare. I think that should be narrowed because you seem to have switched tense. Anyway, moving on. Their banter is adorable. I feel like there hadn't been so much in the past chapters, and this was a nice reminder of their previous cat-and-mouse relationship.

Well. That certainly dampers the mood. You wrote the tension so well in that section, and they're all kind of helpless and they don't know what's going on and I seriously felt like sticking my head inside the screen to scream 'YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, YOU NEED TO HIDE NOW' except that would hurt and my computer would break and then I wouldn't be able to read BTF anymore and that would just be saaad.

I'm a bit confused here. Are Belle and Sirius official yet, or are they just flaunting their pretend ignorance to everyone's face while snogging in broom cupboards when no one pays attention?

EGADS I'VE HAD AN ILLUMINATION. The person watching them is Alrek -- whom I'd entirely forgotten about --, correct? Nasty bloke. We should stick his head into a bowl of vinegar and make pickles out of his ears.

Naw, Sirius, don't get mad at Regulus! He's the only family you've got, even though you think of James as your brother. Sirius' train of thought as he tries to put the pieces together was quite scary, to be honest. I would not have wanted to be the one facing Sirius then, nope.

James the hero, as always. If this wasn't such a dramatic scene I could easily imagine him in a SuperMan costume. I like the way you included Remus and Peter too, especially Peter. The way you've written him so far, and still do in the scene, really makes me wonder why he's going to switch to the other side. In any case, I love the fact that you've made him part of the rescue Sirius mission, and I'm eerily reminded of Dumbledore saying, about Neville, There are all kinds of courage, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. This particularly applies to Peter, in my opinion, because of the way we know things end.

Oh, I hope things get better for Sirius and Belle! Her reaction was justified I think, because it's proportional to Sirius'. I'm really waiting for next Saturday to see what happens there.

Now, this chapter aside, I wanted to congratulate you for reaching 500 reviews -- you totally deserved those, you know, and then you're surprised when I say your story is successful --, even though I'm offended I wasn't the one to leave it! I'll make sure to snag number 600, I suppose! Thank you for the sweet mention at the end of the chapter Jami &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts

Author's Response: VAL! I'm responding to this review this second otherwise I'll chicken out and it will take days.

Okay, I'm going to address Sirius and Belle first while I'm thinking about it. They're odd. I don't know if they'll ever actually define what they are, but we'll get a scene very soon that shows what they mean to each other, at least. That is, if Belle will talk to Sirius would cursing him off for the next year or so :P.

YOU ARE NOT WRONG ABOUT OLIVIA being accepting. So, my future mother in law... lovely lovely woman and most of the time we get along very well. But I'm still the woman that is not a huge part of her son's life. It's awesome because she's the only one who really understands how irritating my lovely sig. other can be, but at the same time it's still very difficult to bite my tongue sometimes whens he says ridiculous things. I think a lot of Olivia's acceptance of Lily has so much to do with how much she's seen. She's over eighty and has watched people suffer, lose their loved ones, just way more life than most people see. So knowing her son is cared about by someone as genuine as Lily is more than she'd ever want. Clearly I'm writing about everyone's dream mother-in-law hahaha.

PETER (sorry this review is all over the place.) But Peter's betrayal, what drives him to do what he does and everything that follows will absolutely be told eventually. Or at least my version of it. Which will be a little tweaked from the typical him just being scared thing. Because I can't do that. I just can't.

Yes!! The person watching them is Alrek. Remember the Quidditch game a few chapters back? With him asking the girls all those questions? He's no good, that's for sure.

I love getting into some of their banter, and now that things are calming down and James is blaming himself a little less for Lily being attacked, It felt right to slip a little in there.

I'm so happy you liked James's thoughts on Snape! They'll come back up again, but It's not something I want to ignore. Of course James isn't ready to be all, "Lily, Snape isn't a bad guy," because there's too much history for him to ever like Severus, but at least he understand that James and his friends's actions weren't the best things ever, either.

Yes! That was a typo! Thank you!

Aww well I wish I could do more than a mention, like balloons and cake, but those would be hard to get through my computer screen. BUT thank you for always being here to make me feel good about the story I'm writing and to just leave me sitting here grinning like an idiot ♥

 Report Review

Review #10, by CambAngst 

6th April 2013:
Hey, Jami! I'm getting on this week's installment a little earlier. And you started with the great lines a little earlier in this chapter, too:

James halted outside of a compartment as the sound of exploding snaps caught his attention. Amateurs, he thought, listening to the surprised squeals of what sounded like younger students. - Awesome. Just awesome.

James's solo section at the start of the chapter was a fantastic mix of the various vintages of James Potter. We had "Old James" mentally mocking the antics of the younger students and worrying about how his friends would make fun of him for the dopey sort of happiness he gets from being able to talk to Lily whenever he wants. We had "New James" performing some fairly in-depth analysis of his relationship with Lily and the way he's feeling about it. I loved all the small details about how each has managed to fit quite comfortably into the other's life: Lily settling in nicely with James's parents while James is accompanying her to visit her parents' graves. We even have "New James fretting over the legacy of Old James", when he worries that Lily will wake up one day and remember what a jerk he used to be. That last version of James added something pretty neat to this chapter. It's the first time we've seen him sort of confront the situation that used to exist between himself, Lily and Snape head on. And his take on things was actually quite balanced... albeit with a strong bias towards hexing Snape if he steps one toe out of line.

I loved the way that he plays Lily a bit at the end of the first section. He winds her up, then he concedes the game far too easily for her to take much real satisfaction from having bested him. It's a classic "good boyfriend" move. Let the girl win, but make obvious that you're letting her win. This is how the James Potters of the world save face without ending up single...

It's a move that the Sirius Blacks of the world are still struggling to learn, apparently. Sirius's section made me sad, but I think it was very well written. I didn't feel a bit of hesitation to believe that Sirius would have flown off of the handle and gone after his brother like that. You hit all the right notes with him in this chapter: the furious anger over the fact that James and Lily were nearly killed, the disappointment that no matter how hard he tried to turn Regulus away from the Dark Lord it just didn't work and the hurt that he will never admit that he feels over being disowned by his family. It was the perfect storm for him, guaranteed to put him in a bad place and spark a violent reaction.

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. You set up the circumstances beautifully to allow James to make the connection between the attack at the hotel and the spy inside the castle. I loved the group effort as they gradually weed out the possible alternative explanations and home in in the truth. Little by little they chip away at it until it's obvious that somebody tipped Bellatrix off that James would be accompanying Lily to Wales.

And then Sirius comes unhinged. Again, very nicely done, the way that Sirius gets his head of steam going. I liked the way you mixed some more familial, almost parochial feelings that Sirius once had for his brother in with the seething fury that he now feels. A lot of authors write Sirius as though he popped out of the womb wearing Gryffindor scarlet and gold and hating everything about his family, which is kind of dumb if you think about it. Obviously there was a time in his life when he was close to Regulus. You brought that out really nicely in this chapter, and it adds a lot of depth to his character for me. It isn't just the loyalty that Sirius feels for James and Lily that pushes him over the edge in this chapter. He could have directed that anger at a lot of different people. It's the feelings of betrayal and abandonment towards his own family that he's never fully dealt with that cause him to direct it all at Regulus.

Ooh, but Belle gets caught in the crossfire. After the way that she just opened up to him and allowed him to share a very personal, very painful moment of reckoning with her family, the way he tried to push her away isn't going to play well at all. You asked whether I thought her anger was justified. I'm sure Belle feels justified because in her mind she was trying to help him avoid doing something very foolish that would have had terrible consequences for the career he wants to pursue as an Auror. She probably feels even more hurt because Sirius didn't tell James, Remus and Peter to "get out of here" or that he didn't want them there. Not that he wasn't thinking it, mind you, but he didn't say it, which would have mattered to her. Above all else, she's French, so it isn't like she needs a reason to get angry, just an opportunity. ;)

You left us with some fun questions to ponder between now and next Saturday. (Thursday for me, but I hate to brag.) What else was James going to say before Sirius lost his head? What did James and Lily have to offer the Slytherins to smooth things over? And how long with Belle stay mad at Sirius? At this point I'm not thinking that James has managed to deduce that Rukin is the spy, but I'm really curious what he does think.

Awesome chapter! Very nicely written and great insight into James and Sirius. Til next time!

Author's Response: Dan! Look! I've almost responded to all my reviews!! Then I can finally go finish the review I started for Detox yesterday!!!

Hahaha I'm happy you liked that line. I love getting to put those little... James moments in there.

Hahahah I love, love love your analysis of James! I hadn't realized I was mixing that many James, but now that you say it, it's so clear! I've been wanting to talk about their rocky past for some time now. Originally I was going to when they were in the hospital, but there was just so much going on already. But it will definitely be something that gets brought up again. I don't like when Severus become a huge focus in these stories, but I also don't like when he's ignored, so I'm really trying to balance that out. But of course, James will still find any excuse to hex Snape if he finds it necessary :P

Hahhaah yes, exactly with James's little winding Lily up. He wanted to get her all.. Lily ish...but wasn't going to actually make her mad. He's learning quickly, isn't he? I'm so happy you liked that ♥

And like you just said, poor Sirius is still struggling with learning that one. Haha. I don't think Sirius was just born a Gryffindor either. I think that he probably realized at a young age that he wasn't okay with his parents life style and tried to question that, and was reprimanded pretty severely for doing just that. And then it just got worse and worse. But Regulus was sort of an innocent bystander in all this, and Sirius would have loved to drag him away from the values that Sirius realized were terrible. And not being able to did hurt him. I'm so happy you liked all the sort of mixtures I had going in Sirius. Sometimes it's so hard to figure out exactly what he's angry about with so many things always going on in his moody little mind, haha

Poor Belle does get caught in the crossfire :(. She's come so far, and it seemed like Sirius was already way ahead of her in accepting his past, but he really might not be. In my head, he's only really talked to James about some of the more terrible moments of his childhood. Maybe it's time he let Belle in on a few?

The fact that you're looking forward to beta reading the next and getting it a few days early is a miracle. I can't believe you haven't fired me as your writer to beta read for yet, hahhaah.

I don't think James has managed to figure out Alrek's part in it either, and remember he wasn't on the bench with the rest when the girls were talking about the wedding in front of him. So he may have no idea what Alrek *does* know.

I'm so happy you liked the little dip into our male characters mind. And that you liked this entire chapter, and that you're still such a huge part of this ♥

 Report Review

Review #11, by DracoGal 

6th April 2013:
I'm a first time reader and I absolutely love this story! It's one of the best James/Lily fics I've read! The dynamics between all the characters and their relationships are so well done! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by, DracoGal!! I'm really happy you're enjoying this! I update every Saturday, so the next chapter will be up a week from now :)!

Thank you again ♥ Jami

 Report Review

Review #12, by soufflegirl99 

6th April 2013:
This chapter is just so awesome...my fingers are practically shaking with excitement.

I must say, I can empathise with James about the english weather - it is truly ridiculous - and I love the pathetic fallacy that set the tone really nicely for the chapter.
Lily's gift of the photo in the snitch is so creative, and I think you made James be believabley in love - not too soppy, but then not really icy and cold either.
The build up if tension and suspense is incredible - you build it up right from the start, so when Sirius does actually pick a fight with Regulus, I fond myself shouting at the screen. I think Belle has every right to be annoyed because Sirius was getting a bit to wound up - I can completely understand why - and he did bite back too much at her.
The fact that Sirius is feeling so betrayed by his brother, just makes me even more annoyed at Peter. The dramatic irony is just so...Grrr!! I am so annoyed at Peter for putting the gang through so much pain and hardship - it makes me feel the third book much more actually, and helps to sympathise with Sirius.
You write emotions amazingly well - making the reader feel frustrated, happy, e.t.c I think i felt sad, happy, annoyed and angry whilst reading this - it's thirsty work :P
The characterisation is brilliant - each character is so crafted and deep - you've created flaws and moulded these characters perfectly. Much more realistic, than just saying all their good bits. Your portrayal of all of these characters are definitely the best I've read - you back up all of Sirius' anger, and defintely get the reader wondering about their own opinions on each character.
I'm sorry this review has been a bit messy, my emotions are just all over the place now after reading it!! Another beautiful chapter :D

Author's Response: Ahhh you've given me two amazing reviews! I don't even know what to do with you!!! Maybe I''l have better luck responding to this one :P

I've really been wanting to balance that line between James being in love and not being too romancy about it. I don't think he'd necessarily hide his feelings, because he doesn't seem like someone who really feels embarrassed about much, but I do think he'd tone them down. I'm really thrilled that you think I've done a decent job keeping him in a realistic sort of light ♥

I thought Belle was justified in her anger, too! Sirius of course has every right to be angry, but not at Belle! Yay I'm so happy you thought he was out of line snapping at her too!!

I really hate what Peter will end up doing, too. But by the time we get there and you see my version of it, I hope you're a little less angry at him for it all ♥ At least right now he's just a best friend of three other amazing guys *wub face*

Ohhh you saying that I write emotions well is one of the best compliments ever ♥ That's what I want to do most with my writing, is make people *feel* and ugh you're turning me into a mushy pile of feels. Can I hug you???

Showing Sirius's anger has been something that's felt really important to me. I want to show him in the amazing lights he is, because he's such a special person. Let's just ignore he's fake for a bit :P. But he also has enough anger to go after Peter without a second thought to murdering him. Not that I don't think he was justified in doing that, because I can't imagine what he felt that night, but still a lot of people wouldn't have reacted so intensely. So showing Sirius's ability to get to a point where he can't stop himself is really something I try to do.

Great. I'm not making sense anymore, am I? Okay, we better end this before I go on any more tangents. Thank you so much for stopping by to review, and this wasn't a mess at all! I'm so happy we got to be battleship partners, Sophie! Also, just out of curiosity, what country are you in?? I creeped out your profile to see if you had it listed and didn't see it :P. Also, I despite weekday mornings as well:P

Thank you again for stopping by!!! ♥ Jami

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review