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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

6th March 2017:
I absolutely loved getting to know Belle, her family, their interactions, how supportive Sirius was and the "punch". Loved the length of it. This chapter was just perfect!

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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
ďAs long as it didnít have anything to do with her cooking, I could have all the opinions in the world.Ē

^ HA!

Fantastic chapter. Where do I begin? First, with Sirius trying to reassure Belle that everything would be okay with story he told her that made me giggle a little right there. Or should I talk about her parents?

I was expecting them to curse her. I really was. I actually thought Belle would make it through dinner and then give it to them. I honestly wanted it to be longer because they were just so cold and calculated. To see more of their anger and disgust would have been great. I know Sirius wanted to help her but Belle needed to fight her own battle. I'm glad she did.

And the kiss. One word: HOT.

Now, Vernon the bore. This man just gets more boring as the years go on, doesn't he? And Petunia the terrible. Har-har. I commend James for making it almost through dinner with him. Who needs a car when you can vanish in thin air and go place to place or grab onto a can or whatever and go from one country to the other.

Calling him poor. James is so rich he could take money baths. Of course Vernon is so large it would take James and Sirius's fortune to let him take a money bath.

That was mean, wasn't it?

All well. Oh, and let's talk about Lily thinking about being naked around James. They haven't even been together that long! Makes sense though. Remember when you were a teenager and your emotions seemed right on point and you were convinced this boyfriend and that boyfriend was the one? Of course she doesn't know James is the elusive one but still, shows how young she really is.

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Review #3, by Pretense Of Perfection 

11th June 2014:
Ahhh, I haven't reviewed in a few chapters!!

These last few chapters have been so intense, wow! I love all the new interaction between Bella and Sirius, its about time those two finally stopped dancing around their chemistry. As for Sirius and James? I almost can't believe they're finally officially together!

I'm also glad Christophe and the Leclaire's finally had what was coming to them as well. Poor Belle having to deal with them for so long, I really have no idea why/how she did it.

Anyways, I just wanted to say this story is so great, I've really become so enchanted by it. It's nice to read about Alice and Frank as well, before their lives took a turn for the worse.

I usually make it a point to offer some sort of constructive criticism in every review I post, just because I feel like every writer needs it, but I honestly can't think of anything that I can even say in that aspect. I would perhaps like to read a little bit more about Remus and Peter, but since the story is mainly about James and Lily I guess that's sort of expected.

And I usually don't rate, but I just had to do it on this chapter (:

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Review #4, by nott theodore 

2nd October 2013:
*Sneaks in guiltily because it's been so long since she left the last review*

I've missed this story so much, I really have. Hopefully it won't take me too long to get caught up (I know I keep saying that but I really do mean it. I'm back at uni which means I'll have plenty of time to procrastinate :P). I loved this chapter so much!

The way that you structured this chapter made it really effective, as switching between Belle and Sirius and Lily and James helped to build up to the end of the chapter and give us more of an overall perspective about what's happening. I could imagine them both happening at the same time and I think the way you wrote it was just right. The length is never a killer with your lovely writing, dear! You always manage to keep me interested and engaged!

The first part of this chapter just gave me so many feels with all the Lily and James fluffiness. None of it was overdone and I loved the way that Lily was reflecting on her relationship with James and wondering how it had become so serious, but at the same time it doesn't scare her. It's such a difference to the way she felt at the start of the story and it's great to see them growing closer, even if they're not saying the 'l' word yet. And I loved seeing James being a gentleman as well, trying to pay for two rooms rather than sharing.

At the same time, you communicated Lily's worry really well. You manage to add so much depth to the relationship between Petunia and Lily (to everything, actually) and it doesn't seem unrealistic, as if Petunia just hates Lily for being a 'freak'. I can see that that point - when Lily's magic couldn't bring their parents back - seems to be the real breaking point in their relationship, and I can actually understand Petunia's reasoning a bit, which is incredible!

I really liked the way that you switched from the sweet section about James and Lily to a really tense and nervous situation for Sirius and Belle. I was so pleased when Sirius said that he was going with her and I really felt for her when she was getting nervous about going in and confronting her parents. It definitely isn't an easy thing to do and she's so brave for even attempting it! I loved Sirius's anecdote about what Olivia had said to him about having opinions - it fits in so well with her character and it's great that Sirius got to experience love like that and have a few years at least when he was free and relatively happy.

James's thoughts about someone with a name like Vernon really made me laugh. It sounds like he's a good judge of character (even before he's met the person). I really like the way that you're incorporating this dinner which has only been briefly mentioned by Jo and letting it play out in front of us. Poor James, thinking that maybe this dinner won't be so bad after all!

I really don't know what to think about all the photos and everything being back in Belle's room. It's almost like her parents have set up some sort of shrine to her, and I think maybe deep down they do love her - or at least love the idea of her as a perfect daughter to fit their mould. I'm not sure whether they were trying to hurt her or remind her how much she was missing with the way they'd put all those things in her room. And the fact about her favourite dessert - it was a nice gesture, but I can't believe that they don't even know her love of chocolate! And then when Christophe turns up! I really didn't expect that to happen, and I'm not sure why they did it either. It was nice to see that Belle does have some happy memories of her childhood though, because it would be far too easy (and unbelievable) to make them all unpleasant. I liked the fact that Belle was obviously a stronger person as well, being able to make them speak English because of Sirius being there - I think his presence definitely helped.

I really don't blame Sirius for punching Christophe, because he definitely deserved to be punched and I kind of wanted to do it myself! I can't believe that her parents would swallow all of his lies over believing their daughter, but I know that there are people like that in the world.

You wrote the dinner so well! I can definitely see Vernon being so obstinate and arrogant, trying to show off in front of James and one-up him when he's talking about cars and stuff. I was quite glad that the Patronus arrived in time to stop James from getting too angry, because he was doing such a good job and trying hard to be a good boyfriend for Lily.

I know I seem to say this in almost every review, but I love the way that you write the friendship between all of these characters. You can really tell that they'd do almost anything for each other, like the way Alice has given up some of her holidays with Frank so that Belle can stay with her. I'm hoping that Sirius and Belle will make it to Lily and James in time to help them with whatever attack is coming for them, because I don't think it'll be good!

The ending with the kiss was so perfect! I didn't see that part coming either but it just seemed to fit really well and I'm happy that Sirius and Belle are finally at the point they might start a relationship!

Sian :)

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Review #5, by FallenTruths 

13th June 2013:
Hi Jami!

Chapter 19 - I'm glad you pointed out that it was the first years' first time riding in the carriages back to the train. I've never thought about that before. Dumbledore and Minerva's conversation about whether they should warn Lily and James about the danger of going to the wedding reminded me a lot of Dumbledore not wanting to warn Harry about the prophecy until it was too late and someone had died because of it. I'm really hoping Dumbledore has made the right decision this time around with not warning them.

It's still hard to understand how Petunia can be so rude to everyone, even her best friend! It's very clear she's jealous of Lily still, even when it's just of her personality and ability to be kind to others.

Typos: But as far as Lily knew, her sister never spoken with Matti again

now she as able to look back and realize that she really hadn't done anything wrong.

answered, thought the end of his was drowned out by a loud whistle

Chapter 20 - The Bellatrix scenes are always creepy because of how warped her mind is. She wants to have control yet control is exactly what she loses when she's torturing someone into oblivion. At that point I think it's the thrill of the pain she is causing that controls her mind and actions. The back story you've given Peter is really interesting because it explains a lot about his personality and the position he was in when he started to turn on his friends. I like how you've taken time to develop Peter as a character instead of just ignore him.

One typo: to prevent them from waking rest of the house.

Chapter 21 - Poor Lily. I can's imagine how hard it was for her to tell Petunia she couldn't bring their parents back from the dead. I really hope they're able to reconcile their relationship a bit now that the loss isn't as fresh in their minds. I love how easy it is for Sirius and Belle to be together because they already understand all of the silly customs and pleasantries they must abide by to be taken seriously. Sirius's story about learning to speak his mind and share his opinion was really sweet. I think Belle has already learned that by being around her friends, but she doesn't know how to speak her opinion around her parents.

Typos: Their check-in had been uneventful thanks to Mrs Potter (period needed after Mrs)

He knew that not matter what

that he hand plenty of food right in front of his face

I loved this line, "With a name like Vernon, James wasnít expecting much." Ha, that is so true and I can certainly imagine James saying that. Wow, I hate Vernon so much. It's funny how he's so pompous about himself when everyone else can see he isn't anyone impressive. Thankfully Sirius's patronus stepped in and stopped James from getting too angry and blowing Vernon up or something like that. I'm so proud of Belle for standing up to her evil mother. I definitely wasn't expecting the kiss at the end! I wonder if Sirius and Belle joining Lily and James at the hotel will stop whatever attack Voldemort was planning. I hope so!

Alli

Author's Response: I'm so saddd. I just had this entire review responded to, then I hit back space but was clicked out of the box so it took me back a page and BOO.

Okay. Redo. I think Dumbledore makes some seriously interesting choices in the HP series. There are so many things he could have told Harry to make it just a bit easier instead of hoping all this crazy chance of stuff panned out. I mean, as much as I love the twinkly old man, it seems like he left an awful lot up to chance.

I think Petunia is one of those people that was never made to understand life. I always imagined that, after Lily left, their parents felt terrible for Petunia being left out and made things too easy for her. I don't think she was ever really made to understand the consequences for her attitude and actions, their parents not wanting to further alienate her by constantly getting her in trouble, so she just sort of learned to throw these little bratty fits and act like a spoiled brat.

I'm so happy you like Bellatrix! And that she's still creeping you out. Sometimes I get worried that her scenes feel repetitive.

Ahhh yay I've been excited for you to read this scene! In my head, this is when Petunia stops being jealous of magic and starts hating it. It can't do the one thing she wants, and she refuses to take the time to understand why that is. Poor thing :(

Ahhh hahaha now I'm imagining James blowing up Vernon Aunt Marjorie style! Like father like son, maybe? :P

Thank you so much for the typos and for another awesome reviews ♥ I'm so excited that you're still enjoying this, my lovely Alli!!!



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Review #6, by Courtney Dark 

11th May 2013:
THIS. CHAPTER. WAS. AMAZING. That is all that really needs to be said in this review, but I'll waffle on anyway and try to sound like I'm semi intelligent.

There was so many wonderful things about this chapter. The whole thing was wonderful but that's not really the point. SO MUCH JAMES AND LILY FLUFFINESS! And gah, James was so adorable, offering to get two rooms at the hotel.

Loved loved LOVED the dinner scene with Vernon and Petunia. James' reaction to Vernon was great - I adore how protective of Lily he is. And Vernon was so...Vernon-ish, in the worst possible way.

Now, onto Belle and Sirius. Now THAT is what I call drama. Belle's parents really are awful - I don't blame Sirius for losing it. How could they bring in Christophe? How could they do that to their daughter! Gr, I honestly felt like screaming in that section!

God, I was so glad when Sirius punched Christophe and glad that Belle showed some guts towards her parents. And Belle and Sirius kissed! Yay! I'm so happy right now!

You can probably tell I enjoyed this chapter A LOT. And sorry if it makes no sense whatsoever or is utter garbage, I'm still so full of excitement from reading it and have this huge dorky grin all over my face. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hahahah you're reviews always sound intelligent ;)! Probably much more so than my responses!

I loved writing all the James and Lily fluffiness in this! I'm so happy you liked that James wanted to get them two hotel rooms. It seemed fitting for him not to want to make Lily feel pressured or anything ;).

Eeek I'm so happy you liked Vernon. Him and Petunia would just be such a joy to have as siblings, wouldn't they? :P

Ahh I'm so happy you liked their kiss! It was never actually planned for them to kiss at the end of this, but then it just felt so right! And eek thank you so much for all your sweet comments on it! ♥

Thank you so much for your amazing reviews, Courtney! I can't even explain how much I just want to hug you!


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Review #7, by patronus_charm 

28th March 2013:
Aw we get to start off with some Lily and James fluff! Of course he would be the gentlemen and try and pay for two rooms, but I agree with Lily it would have been silly. I loved her thoughts about her contemplating her relationship with James so far, they just seemed so natural and realistic. Itís nice to see that she thought it was too soon for declaring the Ďlí word, as I agree theyíve only been dating for a few months so it would have been a little strange.

So James is going to be on his good behaviour? I totally forgot that JK said that the four of them went to dinner until you mentioned it, so it was nice to see canon being included :) Poor Lily and Petunia they must have been so affected by their deaths. I can see why Petunia would act like that, of course you would want your parents to be alive again, and unbroken. If only they could be fixed so easily. And then for Lily to feel as if she could have done something to fix them. I really love how youíve made their relationship so complex, and it has so many different sides to it, it just makes it so much more realistic.

Aw poor Sirius, he must have felt so trapped to be someone who couldnít voice his own opinion. I loved that Olivia picked up on it, and told him that having a different view is fine; as Iím sure he really needed to hear it. Even though we usually see this outspoken version of Sirius I rather liked this more timid and it seemed to fit him a lot.

Yay! We finally got to meet Belleís parents! I could see that Belle was already a lot more confident just by the way she asked her mother to speak in English for Siriusí sake, I really liked this change in her, and it made me all happy! Ooh and their families are interconnected, that was a really cool idea, and it makes sense for pureblood families of that standing to know each other. If only they knew he was an outcast of the family!

Hahaha typical Sirius putting that charm on his hand! Even though itís the wrong pudding, I have to give her parents some credit for trying to make her favourite dessert. It does give me some hope that they may love her deep down. The way they put all the pictures back in her room, and the clothes almost makes it seem as if her room was kept as a shrine to her. It seems as if her parents still love her, just the old version of Belle, the one without the mistakes. It still is slightly strange that they went to all that effort though.

Wow this chapter just got even more brilliant with the appearance from Christophe! I had issues with him straight away, Sirius is not greasy itís Snape ok! Then him acting as if he didnít so anything wrong when he did, was just heart breaking to see and I really felt for Belle. At least Sirius came to her rescue, and he was just amazing! Then Christophe trying to fight back, but he could tell that he would be no match for Sirius. There was just so much drama with Belleís mother getting involved and shooting spells at Sirius, and Belle trying to reason with her. It was great!

That dinner just seemed so awkward. With Vernon lambasting James about not knowing what a ford it, and Petunia saying she wanted to start a family, and Lilyís thought which followed! I loved the bit about Vernon complaining about not having enough food, it just seemed so him, and I can imagine him being just like Dudley. Yay James, even though it made relations between Lily and Petunia even worse, at least he did what was right. Then the patronus at the end was great!

Alice is just so nice, the way she sacrificed her holiday with Frank to look after Belle was lovely. I can see why Belle wouldnít want to go back there though; I think a few days in a place like that was more than enough. I always imagined her as playing cupid, so it was cool to see her pop here. Then the kiss at the end was great, and a perfect way to finish the chapter.

The length was perfect Jami, and I think if you cut anything it wouldnít have been the same!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you liked Lily's thoughts about their relationship. It think that they both sort of know what they feel, but knowing it and saying it are so different that it will definitely take some time to get there.

Ahhh the dinner with the group, or JKR saying it happened is one of the things I could just kiss her for. It was just something small she mentioned obviously, but it's what I've based most of the way I build Lily and Petunia's relationship around. Because she told us that, I knew they couldn't have despised one another to the point of no return, because they say eachother and Lily was invited to the wedding. Meaning I needed to create quite a bit of distance between them, but also give that tiny bit of hope at building a relationship again and regret at how badly it had gotten. So yeah, knowing there a dinner was just absolutely something I gobbled up from JKR. I'm rambling aren't I? I can't help it, your reviews are so awesome that I just want to keep chatting with you!

I'm so happy you like the idea of a once timid Sirius. I think that James's parents helping to build up his confidence is such a sweet thought, that I couldn't not include it ♥.

I really love what you said about her parents still loving a version of her. I don't know if they really now how to love her the right way, but I do think they love the idea of having their perfect daughter back and completing their family. Which, to them, is just the same as loving her.

Hahah I'm so happy you didn't mind the length! And I agree, cutting it wouldn't have worked. I figured anyone that had read this much of the story wasn't going to stop now because of a long chapter... but I still worried about it so I'm really pleased it didn't feel too long to you.

Thank you so much for your lovely, amazing reviews ♥ Happy Wednesday!


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Review #8, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

18th March 2013:
Hola! Sorry for taking so long on this one. I really wanted to make sure I had the time to sit down and read the whole chapter in one go. And since you said you were mostly interested in what I was thinking/feeling while reading, I did my best to write a sort of running review. As it turns out, I'm pretty terrible at them, so I basically just stopped at ever break in the chapter and wrote down my thoughts. And here they are...

I really liked this opening scene. It was sweet and simple, and it was nice to see James and Lily in this sort of domestic moment. I thought it was great that you very gently began addressing Lily's sexuality. She is, after all, a teenage girl. But you did it in a way that didn't betray her as a character -- someone who thinks things through carefully, especially when it come to this relationship. The revelation to James was also done very tenderly. You just keep layering the divide that separates Lily and Petunia. This is just one more reason (at least in Petunia's warped way of thinking) for her to hate Lily.

Belle's childhood recollections were great. It was nice to see her acknowledge the difference between having terrible parents and having no fond memories of being a kid. It's too simplistic for everything in a character's past to be terrible. There must have been something good about Belle's childhood or it's unlikely she'd have turned out to be as nice as she is.

I have to admit, I totally expected this next scene to end on a snarky note. I thought for SURE Vernon was going to say something crass. But I liked this. You know we readers are all just sitting here thinking, "Oh, silly, silly James. Of course this evening isn't going to go perfectly fine."

Can I say how much I love when Sirius calls Belle "Princess" and then offers to take her for ice cream?! It was such a perfect moment. Belle is a bit of a princess at times, at least compared to Alice or Lily, but to call her that while standing in that house was kind of thoughtlessly perfect. Maybe I'm reading way too much into it, but it was like both an insult and a term of endearment. It totally seemed like the sort of thing that would just slip out of his mouth.

Okay, moving on to the rest of that scene. First, I did NOT see the Christophe part coming. I mean, I knew from what you told me that he'd get punched at some point, but I wasn't expecting him to be in the house. Perfect! I love surprises. I was a little confused on the motives of Belle's parents with hanging the pictures though. What exactly was their plan there? I get them being nasty and just wanting to hurt their daughter for no other reason than to make her suffer, but I didn't really see how it tied into their plan of making her want to return home to them. Hurting her only made her want to run away the first time...

Next scene! You mentioned in you request about the bouncing back and forth. This was the only transition in the whole chapter that felt a little off to me -- breaking the scene just to switch POV. That, and up until this point, every scene change has switched us back to the other big event of the chapter. I liked that rhythm a lot. It helped give "meaning" to the frequent changes and build the tension. Other than that, it was a brilliant scene. This was definitely one of those times where Sirius was acting his age perfectly. Of course he is being noble and totally doing exactly what we all want him to do, but in being so rash, he's also spoiling the whole point of why they went out there in the first place.

"And Ford, that's a car model, right?" This whole car discussion was so perfect. I know it's just a few simple lines but it manages to hit all the characters just fantastically. Vernon dropping brand names, eager to one-up James. And James not at all impressed but being obliging for Lily's sake. What a good boyfriend! But Hmmm... okay, now I'm seeing why you can't just switch this scene with the last one. The ending wouldn't line up. Well, you'll just have to write another scene, I guess :P Just kidding... sort of.

I was really expecting this chapter to end on a messier note. I have no idea why. I kept waiting for something to go almost comically bad at the restaurant. But the moment between Belle and Sirius at the end was sweet, and I loved how Sirius just wanted to go home and see his friend. Awww...

See? This is why I don't do running reviews very often. They tend to come out very uneven and disjointed. Hopefully there is something in all this mess that is helpful to you..

On a few technical notes... First, be on the lookout for unnecessary commas. There were a few times throughout the chapter where you had one with a conjunction but it wasn't needed (since one part of the sentence wasn't a complete clause). A few examples:

-- How was it possible they were not only on a trip together, but already talking of more?

-- What if they did show up, but no one spoke the entire time?

-- James glanced down at Lily again, and resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head.

-- Sirius let Belle's hand drop from his, and curled his fingers into fists.

-- The creature lifted his paw, and scratched at the window.

Second, be careful of repetition. You had the characters "forcing" themselves to do something quite a few times. You also referenced people's tone a lot. Just something to look for. The rest are just typos (if I can get them to fit). Sorry again about the long wait. I wish I could have followed it with a more cohesive review!

Nope... I just tried to paste in the typos and I'm getting denied. I'll pm them to you :)

Author's Response: Becky! I PROMISE there will NEVER be another chapter as long as this. Scout's honor. Haha!

I can't buy into the whole, Petunia just thought Lily was a freak and hated her because of the magic. I can't even buy enough into it was just simple jealousy that drove them far enough apart. And granted, that's because my head canon of Lily's parents play a lot into it. But with such a confident young girl who is brave enough to befriend someone that isn't the most popular boy in school, and keep that friendship up until they both get to a point where they just can't do it anymore, ti's pretty much set in stone for me that she had an extremely supportive childhood. And if Lily's parents are kind and accepting enough to understand this part of her life, I see there being NO way that they would be cold enough to treat Petunia poorly. So that leads me to the entire, there has to be more than just simple jealousy. Umm... did any of that make sense? Haha. But yes, this is one more reason in Petunia's mind to hate Lily. All this insane, not normal stuff happens constantly to her, and Petunia just doesn't understand that Lily's world is governed by it's own laws. You can not bring people back from the dead. I think this is probably what, more than anything, broke them. Okay. I'm done rambling about Petunia, haha.

I love your comments on Belle's childhood. I actually think she probably even had a pretty good one up until she reached the age where her mother wanted to start molding her. And even then, I don't think she would have ever really understood the manipulative sort of life that she lived in without the Christophe incident happening. I wondered if that section felt sort of pointless, so I'm really happy that you liked it.

Haha poor James, living in his world of denial :P.

With Belle's parents - I know Sirius thinks that it was done to hurt her, but I'm pretty sure that's not it. I don't think they realize how much Belle was hurt when all of it happened. She definitely didn't confide in them what all her friends had done, and how they'd treated her, so they probably thought they were giving her something positive to see. It's like when your young and break up with a boyfriend and rip up your pictures, then he apologizes and your like, 'Damn. Shouldn't have ripped those up.' Oh... Only I did that? Oops. Jk. Anyway - I think that her parents probably thought putting them back together and around her room would be a nice way to remind her of the life she had, because they really are that clueless. I've been thinking about addressing that in the chapter I'm working on right now, and I think I probably should so we can kind of see that Sirius's 'because they're sick an mean' reasoning is more his own biased than fact.

Haha BECKY I can not add another scene!! I can't past that 10,000 word mark. It's just too much. Haha! But I'm so happy that you liked Sirius in his section. I wanted to be the one to hit Christophe so bad. I really don't like him.

That section where James mentions the car model - hands down my favorite one to write. I don't even know why, but it was just so much fun. Most of the chapter was really emotional for me, so I needed that bit to laugh while writing it.

No! This isn't uneven and disjointed. It's exactly what I needed for this chapter.

I get SO repetitive in these longer chapter. I'll go through with command F and see if I can edit a few of those to help it. Same with the commas, thank you.

And please know that this review was exactly what I wanted for this chapter. There was too much feeling in it to really have any cut and dry AoC's... I just needed to know if the sections were making you feel what I wanted you to feel.

And I'm going to find a way to thank you for all your awesome reviews one day, haha. Or I'll just continue demanding reviews and more Over The Edge II. :P

Thank you so much for this amazing review♥


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Review #9, by ValWitch21 

9th March 2013:
YOU. Yes, you.

I came back from holdiay less than an hour ago, and the first thing I came to read was this and ehehe I don't know how I'll ever be constructive.

I'll nitpick first. The sentence in French said by Belle's mom (horrible woman by the way) sounds a little off to me. It would sound more appropriate for a woman of her class to say que tu avais convie. That's just me being picky though.

Other than that, WAAAH THIS CHAPTER. meep meep.

I'm honestly not even going to attempt to refrain my rambling, because it won't happen. I loved every bit of it, I could just copy paste the entire 9.999 (!) words into this box and proclaim it my favourite quote. But I won't, because thre wouldn't be enough space, and I'd rather use the space I do have to proclaim my undying love for this story and my ever increasing admiration for your talent.

Here, have a heart or two or four. &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts

Author's Response: Val ♥

I'm so honored that you came here after getting back from your awesome Ski Holiday!!

Ohh thank you for the advice on the French sentence! And yay that you enjoyed all 9,999 words! I felt so bad for putting up such a huge chapter!! But, I figured anyone that's read this far wouldn't mind too much :P.

Yay I got so many hearts!! ♥ I'm so happy you liked this chapter. It was a terrifying one to write!


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Review #10, by GalleonScarlet 

8th March 2013:
This is absolutely brilliant! I love the detail you have put into the story and the characters are developed extremely well. You are a great author and I would love to read any story you've created yourself. Wonderful job!!!

Author's Response: I am so happy you're enjoying this story!! Thank you so much for stopping by to review and your amazing compliments! I update Before They Fall every Saturday, so there is now a new chapter up :)!

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Review #11, by CambAngst 

2nd March 2013:
Squeee! Not very manly, right? But still, so many things happened in this chapter that you've been making us wait forever and a day for. I couldn't let that pass without a squeee!

Lily Evans: one more human being who seems to do her best thinking at shower time. Her entire train of thought from start to finish was beautifully done. She definitely felt like someone who had that odd combination of worn out and over-stimulated that always comes from day-long travel. Staring at herself in the mirror, trying to imagine how she might look to James? Definitely the kind of thought that pops into your head when you're nervous as all get out and running on fumes and trying to think about anything aside from what you're nervous about.

"Lily, I can hear you thinking from over here," James mumbled. "Wanna talk about it?" - THAT line! Pitch-perfect James Potter!

I hadn't really stopped to ponder what words were exchanged between Lily and Petunia before the latter stormed out of the hospital. I'd probably just assumed that Petunia blamed Lily for the whole thing because she was a freak. What you wrote was ten times as heartbreaking. I'm never going to confuse Petunia Evans with a good person. You and I have had this discussion a few times. But every so often you slip in these details that make her seem like nothing but an overgrown child and it's just a wee bit sympathetic.

Sirius's story seemed like exactly the sort of thing Belle needed to hear at exactly the moment she needed to hear it. He's great like that. It was also a completely believable exchange between Sirius and Mrs. Potter. Like I said in my last review: Universal Parents. Everybody should have a William and Olivia Potter in their lives. The other thing I especially liked about this section was his one, brief line where he tells her how brave she is. To anyone who knows Sirius Blacks's story, that means a lot.

The scene where James and Lily arrive at the restaurant was a really great set-up. By which I mean, "Jami, you completely set me up to think that things were going to go just fine and boy, did you pull the wool over my eyes, you little sneak!" Two things: First, where is Lily's wand? Second, I think you did give a very slight foreshadow of what's to come when the hostess stops well short of Vernon and Petunia's table. If that was intentional, it was clever!

On to Belle and Sirius's arrival at Chateau LeClair. You did a fantastic job of capturing just how sterile the place is. In either the house or its occupants, there isn't a hint of warmth to be found anywhere. Her parents come off lacking any sort of emotional depth aside from the annoyance they feel toward their daughter. The contrast between Belle's youthful fantasy of marrying a man like her father and her present-day love of Sirius was a great idea. Their trousers are the very least of the differences.

But if I see them again, although I can only wish it wonít be until Iím standing over their graves, Iíll mention that you both send your regards. - THAT was a stand-up-and-cheer-out-loud moment if ever there was one!

The incredible emotional roller coaster that you take Belle on over the remainder of this section was gut-wrenching to read in some places and made me want to celebrate in others. The stunt that her parents pulled with her room was just beyond cruel. Their capacity for mind games seems to only be exceeded by their ability to maintain the thin veneer of gold-plated perfection that covers their fake, shallow and utterly meaningless lives. Good on Sirius when he finally decides that enough is enough and he's not going to allow them to torment her any longer! Without that, I'm not sure that Belle finds the strength to do what she ultimately does. The final paragraphs were like a punch in the stomach. It was the ultimate cruelty that her parents could inflict upon her. At least she didn't give them the satisfaction of crumbling.

I thought the switch to Sirius's point of view was a great idea. Belle is in a little too much shock, at least at the beginning, to give us a good account what what happens. Also, Sirius's descriptions are so much more colorful and emotionally laden.

If there was anybody left among your readers who didn't believe that the LeClairs and their erstwhile son-in-law-to-be were the worst human beings on the face of the planet earth, I think you just settled the matter. "... I Ďavenít forgiven you for what you tried to do to me..." Wha, wha, WHAT??? Is this guy for real? I'd rather spend an evening chatting with Voldemort and Dolores Umbridge than ten minutes in the same room with this bunch of jerks! When Sirius lays the well-earned beat-down on Christophe, that was his second stand-up-and-cheer-out-loud moment of the chapter. He's my hero right now.

Wait, Belle's mother slapped her? I seriously want to find a folding chair and go all Springer on her right now. Oh, no, she didn't!

I know I'm running out of characters, so I'm going to have to speed this up. What can I say about Vernon Dursley that hasn't already been said about the cast of Jersey Shore? He's crude, materialistic, unattractive, completely full of himself and seems to define his sense of self-worth by tearing down those around him. In other words, he's perfect! Don't change a thing. I thought James was magnificent here. This is "grown up, Lily-courting" James at his best. He puts up with Vernon for longer than anyone should have to, then puts him in his place.

The ending was so sweet, I just barely have the words. I've rarely been as happy for a character in fan fiction as I was for Belle. In short order, she has reclaimed a large part of herself, and she landed Sirius Black at the same time!

I know this chapter was long, but it just didn't feel anything like 10,000 words. The rapidly alternating scenes gave it a break-neck feel, and the events in Wales and France were so complimentary! Beautifully done!

Author's Response: Oh no Dan... ummm. that was a *very* manly squee. Yep. Really tough stuff. :P

I really had fun getting to play with Lily's odd kind of mood she was in. The poor thing is always thinking. She needs to learn to take a breath now and then :P

I *almost* gave away what happened in the hospital room with these two on the chapter where Sirius tells the truth about his involvement. But I decided I needed to keep that little card trick up my sleeve for a later time, and it just fell perfectly into place here! Good job Lily for thinking so loudly that James is forced to ask you what's wrong :P

I think that Mr. and Mrs. Potter probably put some work into making Sirius understand his own worth. Even if he did hate his entire family before Hogwarts, that hate wouldn't cover up the fact that they'd made him feel so useless his entire life. Poor guy needed some serious love :(. Thank goodness for our universal parents :P!

I'm not sure if you're thinking the same thing I was thinking with the hostess. Basically I'd decided she'd already met the couple once when she sat them before, and no way on earth was she going to talk to those two again, so she kindly directly Lily and James forward without her. haha.

I really had fun with that line of Sirius's. Leave it to him to make sure that he takes anything this family could like about him, and shoves it back in their faces. I can just imagine him standing there all casually with this thumbs in his pockets, smirking as he says it.

Your suggestions really helped the stunt come out more powerful. I think that these people were so set on making sure that their daughter crumbled back into their game, the never stopped to think of what happens when Belle realizes just how cruel they are. Though she might not have let herself realize it without Sirius. Yay once again for you lovely Mr. Black!

That line of Christophe's was one of my very favorite. He just started everything off from the worst place possible. Of course he's going to continue denying his involvement, and then to treat her like a little child telling a tale... oh man. He's lucky that Sirius wasn't there by himself.

HAHAHAH. The mental image of Belle's deliciously false family at the Jerry Springer show fighting this all out... perfect :P

A Jersey Shore and Jerry Springer reference all in one review? You're on your game today, Mr. Daniel. I had a lot of fun writing Vernon though. He's kind of a cruel sort of comic relief.

Aww Dan ♥ I'm so happy that you've built a connection with Belle and that you wanted to hug her in this chapter. Well, you didn't say exactly that you wanted to hug her, but who wouldn't after all this?!

Thank you so much for all your awesome help, Dan. And for not getting made at me when a 10,000 word message shows up in your in box on Friday afternoon. Really, you're amazing ♥



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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

2nd March 2013:
Jami! Oh my goodness! I don't even know where to start with this amazingness! I've been squealing and cheering and - just wow!

Ok I'm going to do this as Lily & James then Sirius & Belle or I'd end up repeating myself so sorry it's all out of order and if I end up commenting on every little thing again like last chapter I also apologise!

Can I first of all just say that James and Sirius are the most amazing people in this chapter and I would like to hug and keep them both! James is just too cute. Please can I have him? Please?

So James - the perfect gentleman paying for the room and also suggesting they have two rooms. I bet that killed him although I can imagine him being pleased Lily didn't mind them sharing haha! Then when he was laughing at the electricity I was laughing along too - such a small detail but it's these things that make your story so good!

Lily's shower also made me laugh - the thought processes that go through her head are so fun to read - they make her believable as a character. The time I waste when I start overthinking things in the shower, and getting on to a completely random subject like she does here - I do think it may just be a woman thing! It was a good little scene for her though.

Cue more cuteness from a certain Mr Potter. Poor James needing a nap and pulling Lily down with him. I could see the whole scene playing out in my head and I loved it so much. The line '"Lily, I can hear you thinking from over here," James mumbled. "Wanna talk about it?"' was so sweet. I don't know why but it really stuck out to me. It shows just how close James and Lily are and how close they will be.

The next scene really got to me. You know you make me feel more and more sorry for Petunia every chapter? It was so awful when she was begging Lily to bring their parents back, it felt really raw and it wasn't even a flashback or anything. It really broke my heart for both girls. Then Petunia has to go and ruin it for herself by being so cold to Lily when she doesn't deserve it.

So James once again is willing to do anything for Lily - even be nice to Petunia and Vernon for the evening! His thoughts on Vernon were really funny to be honest. I don't think I will ever understand why Petunia loves him but hey, who are we to question? He was so good all evening though - even when he didn't know what a Ford was. I can imagine it being so hard for James to take all the insults Vernon was throwing at him, even when all of them were such the opposite!

Then pretty much the worst thing that could happen happened. Not only are Petunia and Vernon witnessing magic but it was Sirius's Patronus so I was kind of worried something bad had happened but at least I know they were ok. I guess we will find out the result of the dinner in the next chapter? I canít imagine it going down well!

So straight away Sirius is in the mood to go beat up Christophe - I could tell this was going to be enjoyable straight away! Belle and Sirius are just so perfect for each other though - they get each other and what it was like to grow up in a house where their parents don't give a crap about them. You managed to bring a little Olivia wisdom in through Sirius again - the story he told was perfectly fitting for the task Belle was about to do and it again showed us how much the Potters care about Sirius. Don't call Olivia's cooking though - that made me laugh!

Sirius just doesn't hold back does he! He not only does he burn her dads hand (nice charm by the way - I could use that!) he got a great dig in about his family - the one thing that was going for him in their eyes. Just perfect. And he knows her favourite pudding! Again with a lovely happy squee moment. This chapter was just full of them!

Her parents just know no bounds do they? I couldn't believe what I was reading to be honest. Restoring all the photo's eugh it was just awful. My heart went out to her so much Ė it really did. Sirius was so amazing though Ė making her see sense and realising they just needed to get on with this. Just get out. But you were never going to let it be that easy were you? Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions for poor Belle! As soon as Christophe came into the picture my first thoughts were 'Sirius please punch him!' then he said the line 'Just because I 'aven't forgiven you for what you tried to do to me,' I actually gasped 'no!' and decided screw Sirius, I wanted to punch him! The absolute nerve of him! You write a good bad guy and not a bad guy that you can enjoy either (like Bellatrix) just one that you purely hate (like Umbridge) I actually canít stand Christophe and I'm just so happy that Sirius punched him. Thank god. Unfortunately only once but I was happy to see that he was scared of Sirius. Iíll stop now before this goes over 12+.

It gave Belle the inspiration she needed though! I love that she got to stand up to her mother, tell her how she felt and got it all out of her system. I know she got a slap but it was worth it, as she agrees. Poor Sirius feeling guilty for not stopping it - more lovely squees! They're so cute the two of them - I just love them.

YES THEY KISSED! Finally! Oh Sirius I just love that he did it. Big smiles from me and it ended the chapter perfectly.

Typos:
'He knew that not matter what' I think you mean 'no' not 'not'.

'curling up just as the base of his neck.' I think you mean 'at' not 'as'.

'What he needed more than anything right now was from someone to talk him down' This didn't quite make sense to me Ė did you mean 'for' instead of 'from'? If not I think it may need rewording Ė it didn't quite make sense.

Anyway this was just the most amazing chapter - you were right, I loved it. Thank you so much for writing this - your version of events is just amazing to read and I can't wait for the next chapters! I did want to say more but I ran out of characters. Thanks for bringing such happiness to my Saturday afternoons!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Lauren! I'm finally here! And hoping I can do this amazing review justice with my response! But I highly doubt that's going to happen... haha

Ummm don't EVER apologize for commenting on lots of things! I love that!

Well, I would like to give you James... I really would. The only thing is that Lily has come a *long* way, and she's really starting to get attached to him, so you may have to fight her for it... :P

Sometimes you just feel like you can solve all the world's problems in the shower. Like you just need to pick apart everything and figure it out, then you realize you've been in for way too long and do the speediest wash/shave/rinse cycle ever! Clearly Lily is not exception... haha!

That's really what I wanted to show with that line! I'm so happy you picked up on that! I think one of the best parts about being in a serious relationship, even the start of one, is learning this other person. I'm really looking forward to exploring more of that with these two.

I'm so happy that I was able to give you just a bit of sympathy for Petunia. Her making Lily feel so responsible wasn't okay, but she just didn't understand. We've seen so many instances in the HP series where lives are saved, where broken things are healed, and where characters break down when magic can't save them. Like when Harry kept hoping Sirius would come back somehow. Well, Petunia doesn't even know how the magical world works, so it really makes no sense to her why people can do crazy things like shift heir bodies into cats, and then Lily can't do something as simple as restarting a beating heart. And your right, Petunia absolutely didn't need to act cold to poor Lily :(

I really laughed to myself about Sirius making sure to destroy any good image these two could have of him. They were going to try whatever they could to get Belle back and restore their 'perfect family image' and Sirius was going to have no part in that. They compliment his family, he makes it clear that he hates them :P. hehehe. Now I want to hug Sirius!

I really hated Christophe too. I bed he's going to remember that punch for the rest of his life ;). I wished it would have been Belle's parents for calling him in the first place, but oh well. At least they'll never have the satisfaction of getting their picture perfect family back. Mwahaha.

THEY FINALLY KISSED! And we're only... 21 chapters in :P hahaha.

I'm so happy you liked how this chapter ended, and that the whole chapter was a bit of a roller coaster. Reading your reviews is so excited. You make me feel like you've really connected with my characters and are really liking them, and I can't even tell you what that means. Sometimes I feel like I put too much time into small details and characterization, then I get a review from you I feel like it's all worth it because of how well you understand them. Gah. you're going to make me all feelsy.

Thank you so much Lauren for this awesome review! And all the other ♥


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Review #13, by limelight1816 

2nd March 2013:
What a chapter! Loved it!

I loved the scene between James and Lily in the hotel room but Sirius and Belle took the prize for cutest couple this time! They finally kissed YAYY! :D

The part about Sirius needing James was adorable. Bromance.

And Sirius punching Christophe? Awesome! I only wish that he had caused more damage. :/ and also Belle should've so hexed her mom, but i guess its okay she didnt, since she atleast got to finally give it off to them. You go, Belle!

Cant wait to know what Rukin's got planned! And now Sirius and Belle will be there too so its gonna be even better! And i was ECSTATIC when i found out that you update every Saturday, id been counting down the days ever since. And i know i will this week too.

I repeat, this chapter was unbelievably amazing! :)

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked this chapter! I agree, Belle and Sirius were super adorable in this. Hahaha I bet Sirius wishes he would have caused more damage, too ;).

Awww yay I'm happy you like my Saturday updates! I get so excited when i wake up Saturday morning and am like, TIME TO POST THE CHAPTER! haha!

We will definitely find out what Alrek and Bellatrix have planned for the group next chapter! Thank you so much for all your awesome review, and I'm so glad you liked this chapter ♥

Jami


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Review #14, by MissMdsty 

2nd March 2013:
Are you trying to kill me? I went through a whole box of chocolates just to be able to handle this emotionally! Oh the feels!

Such a long chapter! I don't know where to begin!

Lily. I loved her inner monologue in the shower. You do know what showers are for, right? 35 minutes of philosophical analysis on the meaning of life and 15 minutes to wash hair/body. They're so cute with their shared room and kitten and playing house.

Vernon was as every bit unpleasant and full of himself as we remember him from the books and Petunia is such a poor excuse for a sister I can't even begin to explain. For God's sake woman, it's your sister, not your old desk mate from pre-school!

Anyway, James was such a perfect gentleman and even his comeback at Vernon was full of class. Great!

Now, as entertaining as Lily and James' dinner date was, it was nothing compared to the adventures of Sirius and Belle in the land of crazy French people! Look at you, you managed to keep the French to one sentence.

Sirius was amazing in this. You could see his rebel side in his actions, but also his controled upbringing. A lesser man would've moped the floor with those poor excuses for parents!

It was such a rollercoaster of emotions, with the room and the ex boyfriend, and Sirius got in a fight and Belle got in a fight and gah! I couldn't have imagined a better trip to France for that pair. Just imagine if they had to sit through dinner. Somebody would've received a fork to the eye. Courtesy of Sirius of course.

I loved the idea that Alice was the master mind behind the love life of Miss Belle and that she controls the results of her actions by taking her own actions. It's funny to me, because in my mind, young Alice is a petite woman and looks kinda like the actress that plays Alice in the "Twilight" movies. I'm sure you imagine her differently, so do share. If you had CIs of them I don't remember. I forget in my old age!

And the end of this chapter! I have waited for this for so long I squealed like he had kissed me! I'm too attached to your characters!

I actually enjoyed the lenght. But really, 9 words? How'd you manage that? You could write all your chapters at this lenght, I'll read and review! No? Okay...

Anyway, my diet is history, but I hope things go well with Sirius and Belle from now on! This was amazing! Really, one of your best chapters yet! And we're at 21 already! Where has time gone? Okay, I need to stop typing now! Good job, darling!

Author's Response: Ral now I want chocolate SO bad! Haha!

Hahah that's pretty much how my showers go. Lily' too, apparently :P. I loved the little playing house cuteness too. I remember how fun it was the first time Ben and I stayed in a hotel together when it feels like your so grown up, so I sorta wanted to give that vibe off.

Hahah wasn't my French sneakiness the best? I know it's probably unrealistic, but it seemed like the only way to make it work :P

Sirius and Belle definitely stole the show in this, though. I was worried that the trip to France would disappoint, so I'm sooo insanely happy that you liked it ♥

And yes! They kissed they kissed! Not the romantic should I or shouldn't I Lily and James kind of kiss, but a total Sirius wants it and goes for it kind of kiss. Hehe.

I don't even know how this chapter got so long. I was at 2,000 words on Thursday, terrified that I wouldn't finish, then 9,000 by Friday afternoon :P My characters took over my mind haha!!

Thank you so much Ral for all your awesome reviews. And I hope you don't hate me too much for next chapter...

;)


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