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21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MalfoysAngel 

4th April 2017:
Wow talk about an emotional roller coaster. I almost feel bad for James with everything he's going through in this chapter. So his love interest has Parkinson's and is doing her best to shut him out. I hope she doesn't succeed and I'm glad James is going to do his best to make sure she doesn't.

I wish I had a friend like Felicity who could read me like a book and see through the front i put on and who is fiercely protective of me. Friends like that are hard to come by and I like reading stories that have characters included that fit that description.

I like that the dynamic between James and Carla is believable and how you've written James with no desire to ride through life on his father's coat tails. I'm coming into this chapter as randomly as my last review so if there is any mention of this in previous chapters and I am in fact wrong I apologize. I really do need to break the habit of randomly reading chapters since I never have a full picture of what is going on. I will have to do my best to come back and start from the beginning to put all the pieces together.

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Review #2, by adluvshp 

4th April 2017:
here for slytherin.

ooh, some romance drama in this chapter. finally get an insight into James' romantic life too! I think touching upon the idea of parkinson's disease is really brave as it can be a sensitive issue and difficult thing to write about. Yet, you have done a good Job of it. The way you Juiced the moments before James finds out was really good - it built up a level of anticipation and curiosity as to what the issue is.

Then, when he sees her, the little things like her arms trembling or her speaking slowly are subtle hints to her condition. Enough to make James wonder but not enough for him to Jump to conclusions.

Man how she struck a blow at him saying the whole "Just live for the Job" thing because James loves Quidditch so much. Carlotta's reluctance and her pushing him away made sense but it also broke my heart. I am glad James later manages to get together with her though - those two are really sweet together. I am glad he had her friend for advice, and the way they call it "parky" to not make her feel bad, it reminded me of Remus' furry little problem from marauders' times. Friendship goals honestly.

All in all, another lovely chapter. We delve deeper into James' life and how much he loves Carlotta. he really is willing to handle it all and it's heartwarming to see. The characterisation is charming and i am rooting for the two!

cheers
Angie

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Review #3, by onestop_hpfan18 

3rd August 2016:
Well, this sucks. But I'm glad that James is prepared to fight more than ever, and I hope it feels the same way after learning more about Parkinson's. I liked how you handled the writing of this chapter. It was realistic, raw, and emotionally charged. It really packed a punch. Great job.

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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell 

2nd October 2013:
I knew it. Or at least, that's what I was figuring, as soon as you mentioned the tendency of her shaking, and then how she was only interested in short term relationships. It just seemed to be the most likely thing.

But how awful. I can't say I'm happy to be right. However, I do think James can handle it.

Author's Response: Yeah, there have been clues for a long time. Poor girl. I just keep throwing James curveballs! He has the capability to handle it, but it's so different from anything else he's had to handle before that it'll be hard. And it requires a LOT of maturity. Probably just the thing he needs, really. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #5, by Genia 

29th March 2013:
I had a feeling that Carla had some sort of disease... and I had to thing of "Love and other drugs" immediately when I read this :)!

Author's Response: Your feeling was indeed correct! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #6, by Slide 

6th March 2013:
Yay James Quidditch history. I know this is a framework but the background pleases me. Typical James that he thinks these achievements aren't a big deal; no wonder he has so many inferiority issues. It's kind of down-to-earth of him - he gets tense but he just tries his best, so he doesn't see how GOOD his best is. But this is still something different.

Interfering housemate, go! They have a sacred duty as gatekeepers. And part of that sacred duty is knowing when to ignore instructions. But not give away too much. BECAUSE SHE'S DYING. Totally it. Heh, this one's a good gatekeeper. I approve of her.

And now we go. Carla's cautious, she should be. But she wants him to know the truth already, because him KNOWING isn't the worst part, the worst part is telling. Yes, James - honesty is the best policy right now, because if nothing else, you've got nothing to lose. Can't end worse than it is right now. I think. Interestingly, she's wrong, I think - I think James knows he doesn't need her to stop him from screwing up because he fixed HIMSELF. Which is a glorious thing and such a glorious thing about this story, it's not "girl saves damaged guy from himself", damaged guy saves himself and goes after the girl.

Less commentary on the next bit. Because it's a sorely important issue being addressed, something a lot more real than we usually put in our fanfiction - even if we go serious, we tend to go very high fantasy serious (how many of us deal with the actual fallout of war, for instance, even if the subject matter in itself is deathly serious). I think it's best letting your prose speak for itself in this, and to say I think you're tackling this with every inch of appropriate dignity and care.

But, now. She's lashing out to drive him off, of course, because that makes it easier. I can see why; James might be sincere but has he thought through everything this means? It's a tall order for anyone, and while it would be easy to say "TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL", the real world is a lot nastier and tougher than that. He's only just found out. Still, I trust him to do right. And, he's kind of right. Leave for now, because SHE needs to think this through as well as he does.

Okay, Gatekeeper Felicity is smart, sensible, and READING MY MIND.

So! There it is, the big Real Reveal of this, and there's the movie which you said would spoil everything. I've not actually seen it. And though people saw the broad gist coming, we didn't see the ACTUAL truth coming, and it's one of those things which, even if you know roughly what's bearing down on you, that doesn't lessen the impact when it hits. It's not so much a twist as an added layer, and the added layer is good and it is deep. I am only keen to see where we go from here. Of course, the question will come up on what magic can do for the situation, because that must be addressed.

We Shall See. But good stuff, truly. Most excellent tackling of serious issues, and so fie on anyone who says you can't do serious proper things with fanfic! Fie on them, I say! I doff my hat to you on this one.

Author's Response: Glad you liked the background, I certainly enjoyed writing it! I know pretty much everything of James' life, so it's nice to throw things in every now and again, just to flesh his character out. And yes, once more he undervalues his own achievements, the poor kid.

Interfering housemate indeed! Felicity's role ended up as rather a bigger one than I'd intended - in that I hadn't intended to write her into this chapter at all! But I felt that her perspective on things was needed, for James' sake more than anything else, so in she went.

Aand Carlotta does, indeed, have A Bad Illness, as you'd suspected for a long while. Her wanting him to know the truth is partly the fear of doing the Telling, and is partly because if he already knew then it meant he didn't care about it. Her main fears about the whole situation are the effect she might have on his life, and that he wouldn't want anything to do with her once he knew. And so there was a part of her that was hoping that he would have learned about the illness already and that he was still keen in spite of it, even if did then try to get rid of him.

I'm glad you liked their discussion. It was definitely one of the hardest parts of this story to write, given its importance. Obviously Carlotta, as much as she wants to be with James, can't bear to put him through such a terrible ordeal - because of course that's what she sees it as. And yet James can't bear to let her go. So we have a conflict of interests. She wins the battle - because she's right, he DOESN'T know what he's getting himself into and he really needs to have some idea of what's going on before he commits - but he's adamant that he'll win the war.

I didn't necessarily expect you to have seen the movie, but all the same it was best to just keep everything quiet in the event that you'd somehow stumble across the plot and thus work out what was going on. I'm actually glad that this didn't seem like a twist because I didn't want it to seem like a left-field issue. It did give me a sense of satisfaction to see (read?) everybody speculating over What Was Wrong! Well, now you know. :) There IS the possibility that magic might help; that question gets a part answer in the next chapter but it will be a continuing issue right through into the sequel.

Very glad you enjoyed, thanks very much for the review! :)


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Review #7, by Parry63 

24th February 2013:
This is an amazing story!! I check almost everyday to see if it gets updated! Thank you so much for writing such an amazing fanfic!!

Author's Response: You're most welcome :) And thank you for reviewing!

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Review #8, by Yasmin 

24th February 2013:
I really love this story. I've been reading on this site for about a month now and this story is really my favourite so far.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying so far! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #9, by CharliesRose 

24th February 2013:
Aw poor Carla :( I feel so bad for her, I mean, I also am beginning to want to slap her very hard and tell her to just let herself love James because obviously thats the RIGHT thing to do but somehow I think slapping a character from a story isn't going to happen any time soon...
And I love James, he's so sweet, he better find a way to get Carla or I'm going to cry :'(
Anyways you write amazingly, as usual, so well done and keep up. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Poor Carlotta indeed! It's easy to see where she's coming from; she just doesn't want to put James in a less-than-perfect situation. But James just wants to be with her! Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #10, by Something 

23rd February 2013:
This chapter was amazing! I am really looking forward to more James/Carlotta drama lamas, and quidditch, and Freddie/Brigid.

But you need to give me some cred. I totally predicted that Carlotta got Parkinsons (a review from chapter 35). That's some serious psycich skills :)

But seriously: This is one of my all time favourites on HPFF. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Aha that review you left! I wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh, other readers had guessed there was something wrong with Carlotta but when you guessed the FILM ... serious credit to you for that one! More of all the above is coming soon. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by Anon 

21st February 2013:
Very well written story! Love I think I read all 42 chapters in a span of 4 days? One error that stuck out was a repeated paragraph when James is talking about Sinead bringing him back onto the squad. Otherwise phenomenal writing and great plot!

Author's Response: Repeated paragraph has been deleted, thanks for mentioning it :) Really glad you're enjoying so far, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #12, by Potterblotter 

21st February 2013:
Ho-ly Crow! AMAZE BALLS!! And I thought the last chapter was good. It's funny, I was thinking as I read this, I wonder where she got inspired for this? Cause its reminding me of that movie with Ann Hathaway.

Just on a side note, not sure if you know already, (I'm sure you do) but you have one paragraph written in twice. It's right near the beginning, in the first quarter of the story.

Keep em' comein' :D

Author's Response: Thanks for letting me know about that duplicated paragraph! I wasn't aware at the time, but it's been fixed now. :) Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #13, by EMAW 

20th February 2013:
So, I love the story. I absolutely love good stories centered around quidditch. From most hovering around here, you can tell that the authors have absolutely no idea how professional sports actually work. You get it. But beyond that, I don't know if anyone has pointed it out or not but you keep calling Wigtown the Warriors, when they're the Wanderers.

Author's Response: ...you're right and all! I pulled the list of Quidditch teams from the internet ages ago, despite the fact that I have Quidditch Through the Ages sitting right next to me, and I guess the online list must have been wrong! Serves me right for being lazy. I'll get round to correcting all those instances when I have the time to do it, but it's going to annoy me now, knowing that it's wrong! Thanks for letting me know. :) I'm glad that you like the detail about the league so far though! I wanted to make a proper effort to hash it all out to make it as convincing as possible. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #14, by Random Person 

20th February 2013:
This story is amazing.. I can't wait to see where it all ends up.
-love-

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by Corleone 

20th February 2013:
WOW! I didn't get a chance to review the last chapter so this one will serve as the one for that one as well...Ok first off both of these chapters were FANTASTIC! I loved James dialogue with Al and Harry in the last chapter and I dug that he made a commitment to rebuilding his relationship with his brother...fyi I also liked the last line when Ginny walks in on Harry & James! I loved this chapter as well the confrontation between James & Carlotta was amazing and it was great that her roomie saw that James could be good for her...PLEASE UPDATE SOON! thank you!

Author's Response: I absolutely LOVED writing those scenes with Al and Harry! James' conversations with them before were so stilted because they all felt so awkward; it was really nice to be able to write a conversation with willing participants. Glad that you liked this chapter too! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #16, by Jtd 

20th February 2013:
I've been reading on this site for 3-4 years now and this is one of the best stories that I have read! Seriously this has everything I look for in a story, it's incredible. I was definitely not expecting her to have Parkinson's. Amazing chapter!!

Author's Response: Wow, that's high praise indeed! Thanks very much, I really appreciate it :) Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #17, by Just another muggle 

20th February 2013:
Hey,
I've been reading your story for two days. I finished reading all the chapters just now. So sorry for not reviewing the other chapters.
I like the story very much. You are a great writer. Keep it up!
But I didn't see "Parky" coming :{.

Author's Response: You read the whole thing in two days? I like your dedication! Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #18, by nott theodore 

19th February 2013:
Okay...wow.

Seriously, you are an amazing writer! I love this story so much and I get genuinely excited every time that I see you've updated with a new chapter, so I want to say thank you for that.

I thought this chapter was brilliantly written. I'm glad you mentioned the film Love & Other Drugs as your inspiration for this story, because when I was reading this chapter I couldn't help be reminded of it (not as though you had copied it or anything, but the similarities are there - I love that film so much, it's so sweet!)

Now that you've mentioned the film as your inspiration, I am really excited to see where you go with the story now. I seriously can't wait for the next update (although you always update quickly anyway, something else I want to thank you for).

Anyway, on to the actual chapter...

Carla is back! Or rather, James went to get Carla back, but it's pretty much the same thing.

And oh my Merlin, we finally found out her secret! I've been curious about this for ages and I'm really happy to know, although of course I can't help being a little sad that Carla has to suffer from something so terrible.

I told you in my last review that I had my theories, and some sort of terminal illness was one of them, but I actually never thought of Parkinson's when I was trying to guess the storyline. I can see, especially now, why Carla had to be a muggle. Aside from all the other reasons of course, but I love her character and I'm not a fan of those stories where a witch or wizard becomes the only one in the world to develop a fatal muggle disease. With Carla as a muggle, the plot seems much more real and plausible (apart from the devestating fact that JK's magical world is fictional. Sob).

I thought all of the detail about the disease - though I'm not claiming to be an expert - seems really convincing, so I think all your research paid off. Although Carlotta's reaction and attitude is really sad, it's also completely understandable. There's nothing exaggerated in the way you write it, because a lot of people with these sorts of illnesses feel like they're a burden, even though they never could be to the people they love.

I think it also makes James' reaction more real as well. In all honesty, he doesn't know anything at all about the illness, and that makes it easy for him to say he'll be there, because he doesn't have any real idea of what he would be committing to. Having said that, I absolutely love James in this chapter, he's just so sweet and it's nice to see him finally prepared to fight for something important to him. I have the feeling that he is going to carry on fighting, too, and I really hope he does!

I love how you have developed this story. The characters at the beginning, James in particular, seemed mostly fun and light-hearted. But you have fleshed out every single character until they are completely believable - everyons has their own story, and we can see how that has made them become what they are. Even the fling between James and Carlotta, which began as fun, has developed into something deeper and more meaningful, which neither of them expected. I think that is so hard to do, and I've read published books where the writers struggle with it, or just don't seem to attempt it at all - I think you have done incredibly well with that.

Sorry for the excessively long review! I just want to say that you are one of my favourite (and in my opinion, one of the best) authors on this site. I enjoy reading everything you write, and as well as finishing Off the Rails, I'm excited to see what else you're going to write in the future. I seriously think you're amazing!

Anyway, I'm going to stop boring you with my rambling now, so congratulations on this chapter and the whole story so far, and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: To be fair, I doubt that Parkinson's would be the first disease that would spring to someone's mind when trying to think of terminal illnesses! I decided to opt for continuity and go for the same disease that featured in the film, given that that was where the inspiration came from. Plus, I think cancer can be overused in fics (says the author with a character who's dying of cancer, but he's a minor character so that clears me!). I think (I only vaguely remember my initial creation of this plot, so I can't be sure) I opted to make Carlotta a Muggle so as to avoid that plotline of witch-with-rare-and-incurable-illness which, to me, is becoming a bit of a cliche. All the same, I was still a bit worried about throwing a character with such an illness into the story, but it's gone down well (aside from me making Carlotta and James' lives a bit worse!) so I'm happy with the reaction. :)

I'm hoping that I WON'T need masses of detail - because most readers won't be looking for it! All the same, I want to make sure that what I AM including is correct. I'm glad you found it convincing though. This chapter was really hard to write in the sense that getting Carlotta's point across was such a delicate job. James IS going into this blind, but at the same time he's totally fallen for Carlotta, and so it will take one HELL of a lot to get him to turn away. :)

There was certainly a conscious effort to develop James' character as the story went along. I think that was helped by the fact that when I first started writing this fic, I didn't know any of my characters all that well. I knew their general traits, and what would happen to them in this fic, but I didn't have them fully fleshed out in my mind. I've gotten to know them all - especially James - immensely well while writing, so that's certainly helped in terms of adding dimensions to them as the fic has progressed. I'm really glad you liked that though :)

Don't apologise for the long review! I really enjoyed reading it; it's great to know what people think of this fic because I've put a lot of time and effort into it. As for future projects, there will definitely be a sequel to Off the Rails, and I have a couple of side-projects in the pipeline too, so lots more of James to come which I hope will please you! Thanks very much for your review :)


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Review #19, by RoseScorp57 

19th February 2013:
I can't even tell you how much I wish there was a magical cure for Carlotta. I want her and James to be happy and have a beautiful future together!

I have to say that this is really an amazing story. I love that you've done a great job developing the characters and keeping it moving at a fast paced enough to keep the readers from getting bored. I'm always so excited when there's a new chapter for this story.

Hopefully this will have a happy ending. If it doesn't, I'll still love this story because you done a beautiful job.

Author's Response: It would be wonderful if the wizarding world could provide a cure for Carlotta, wouldn't it? That will become one of the main issues in James and Carlotta's story, but I can't promise anything as to the outcome. I'm really glad you're enjoying so far - and also that you think the pacing is fast enough, because sometimes I worry that it's dragging a bit! I think that's possibly because I didn't realise just how big this fic would become, so it's a bit daunting to reach 40 chapters when there's still a lot of fic to come! No comments on whether the ending is a happy one or not, you'll have to hang on till the end to decide that for yourself. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #20, by missclaire17 

19th February 2013:
JSLKDGHLKSDJFLKSDHGLKDS
WHY!
OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!
GOSH!!! Parkinson's Disease...
I wonder if the St. Mungo's Healers can make a cure for it even if wizarding folks don't usually get it because they're magical.

Gosh, I was so scared it was cancer or something like that, though I suppose that this is the same thing in a way: a horrible disease.

At least James KNOWS now. the earlier part about how he never had to really fight for anything was crazy, how nervous he was.
I think it says a lot about how nerve-wracking that must have been that he was so nervous to go talk to Carlotta after all of those other nerve-wracking experiences like must-win Quidditch games, getting his career back on track, and fixing things with his family.

Honestly, Carlotta needs to stop being like that :P it makes me sad to see that she really does think that she doesnt deserve something good and that she thinks she'll only be holding James back. It'd be nice to read about the moment when Lily told Carlotta that James is going crazy because she left him.

I hope magic can fix this Parkinson's Disease.
Honestly, I really do because those two deserve a happy ending

Author's Response: Poor old Carlotta's in a rotten situation! She doesn't like the thought of putting ANYONE in a less-than-ideal situation, and so for it to be someone like James, who has so much going for him ... well, she can't bring herself to let him commit! Clearly he needs to try to change her mind on that point. :) As for whether magic can provide a cure ... well, the next chapter might go some way to producing an answer to that question, but it will certainly become a running theme throughout the rest of James and Carlotta's story.

I'm liking your interest in the Lily/Carlotta discussion! I actually have a list of potential one-shot ideas which I may get round to writing someday if I have the time/inspiration. That moment is in the list, so you may get lucky. And on that note if there's anything else that happens 'off-screen' that you think you'd like to read then just mention it; I can't promise to write it but if people are genuinely interested in this side-project then there's more chance of me producing something. :) Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #21, by Lily 

19th February 2013:
Hey,
i really enjoy your story. i love how deep your story goes, without the writing being messy or boring. Its descriptive without taking up too many words. The chapter into the inner workings of quidditch was really really excellent writing, you managed to describe an entire complicated rule, without sounding like a rule book. Keep writing, i can't wait to see how this story ends :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your kind words! I certainly endeavour to make this fic about more than just the characters themselves, so I'm glad you like the depth. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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