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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by onestop_hpfan18 

14th August 2016:
I'm not mad that you had Edie back out of telling Blakeslee because this chapter still was written brilliantly. I'm just mad at the whole situation and how Rose is dragging it out, milking it for all its worth despite Edie being the writer. I loved the interaction and humour between Edie and her younger brothers. Also, there's something up with Oliver and his excessive drinking... I think it has more to do with a personal issue than just being an alcoholic. Also, interesting that he used the past tense when he mentioned his Dad... I wonder if things are taking a turn for him because his Dad passed away and he still hasn't come to terms with it. After all, he's a private person and really doesn't seem like the out-of-control alcoholic type. There's got to be something deeper. I'm not done wanting to think the best of Oliver. There's still hope for Ediver, even after this spat.

Author's Response: AHH yes it was so difficult when writing this--I really REALLY wanted Edie to just out Rose right then and there, because 1) she does not typically think before she acts, 2) I wanted the charade of Edie moonlighting as writer to last for only so long, because they would probably have been discovered eventually. But there were still a few more plot points that needed to happen--and for them to happen, she still had to be living her little lie.

This chapter definitely needs a re-write. I had originally intended alcoholism to be more of a problem with Oliver's character, but I decided not to go that route because it added a layer of angst that this story just didn't really need. So now it's pretty incongruous with the rest of the story and just makes Oliver look kind of pathetic. I'd really like their argument in this chapter to be *about* feminism and women in the sex industry, and that Oliver points out maybe these women are just more clever than the idiot men who come and throw money at them because they're so obsessed with seeing a female body, and isn't that liberating, and maybe it's their choice to do what they are doing, etc etc etc.

Also it really pains me that Edie slaps him (VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER KIDS) and I really want to remove it, but also it's not my job to make her seem more perfect and politically correct--she's supposed to be flawed and the fact that she slaps someone really makes me cringe.

So we will see.

Glad to hear you're still on the Ediver ship at this point! ♥


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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

8th February 2015:
I did say that Charms was my best subject.

^ YOU GO GIRL.

I didn't think Wood would be the reason she wouldn't say anything. I didn't think he would make an appearance. Makes sense but I just figured Edie would chicken out because well who wouldn't?

I love Liam, Luke and Leo. Drunk Wood was fun momentarily until Edie gave him the business. I feel I am on the fence with their relationship and I can already picture well another picture of their little debauchery. But I also think she's determined to think of the worse in Oliver when come on Edie, pot meet kettle, you're not a saint yourself.

Author's Response: Hiya again!

I suppose it's a combination of Edie being thrown off-guard by Oliver's presence and also just chickening out because, as you said, who wouldn't. She really had no way to prove she wrote the article, at least at this exact moment. Plus she and Rose didn't really think up a "master plan" to keep Oliver in the dark about everything with the articles... All he had to do was show up before everything could have totally fallen apart. And he did!

Ohhh gosh oh gosh I actually re-wrote that entire scene with the slap. Honestly I'm so horrified that it's even in this story--I wanted it to come across more as NO EDIE BAD YOU DO NOT HIT PEOPLE WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS. But I don't think it did, and it seems like another "slap trope." I wanted to convey that violence is NOT THE ANSWER ESPECIALLY IN THIS CASE and I don't think it was clear, like, at all. But I have yet to complete that re-write and upload it, as per usual.



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Review #3, by TheGirlOnFire 

17th July 2013:
Yeah I was really excited that she was finally going to tell hut I guess not. *sighsindissaponitment*.

TheGirlOnFire:)

Author's Response: I originally had her telling Blakeslee everything, but it just left too many holes in the plot. But everything will come full circle soon, my friend! ♥

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Review #4, by peppersweet 

29th May 2013:
I am so mad at Rose, I think I'm in danger of demolishing my house solely with my fists.

I really hope Oliver plays a part in bringing her down. I mean, as much as I want victory to be Edie's, he could atone for being such a berk in earlier chapters by helping her.

But now I am laughing so hard about the farting shoes thing omg

Edie's brothers! Eee. They seem like a handful. But also nice.

Also. My feelings about Oliver really fluctuate. He is not in my good books after this chapter! Taking Edie's brothers to a strip club, what is he thinking?!? I'm glad, though, that you didn't play Edie slapping Oliver for laughs; so often it is, in media, when you'd never see a man hitting a woman played for laughs. I hope Oliver does something to atone for his behaviour in a later chapter!

Brilliant, as always, but SERIOUSLY messing with my emotions ♥

Author's Response: JULIA SMAAASH!!! Apparently Rose is responsible for several demolitions, including my desk-chair, which I want to throw at the wall when thinking of her. Actually in a twisted way, I really like Rose. She's fun to write!

Oliver is quite aloof as to what's going on between Edie and Rose. He's so focused on QuidditchQuidditchQuidditchQuidditchFoodQuidditchQuidditch that he probably hasn't noticed a thing. But you'll be surprised by what he does pick up on ;3

I really really want to find a way to include her brothers again! This chapter seems a bit out of place, but I needed to give her a reason to go into the interview angry with Oliver. Doing something that hits so close to home, like behaving this way around her brothers, was important. They will definitely make a reapperance, I'm just not sure exactly when.

I'm glad your feelings about Oliver are fluctuating. HANG ON TO THAT FEELING DON'T LET GO DON'T START HATING HIM AGAIN! And you're right about the slap-trope. I was so, so, SO worried about including it, but it 1) shows how impulsive Edie is, 2) shows how upset she was, 3) puts a reall strain on their "relationship." (Hey have you noticed that I over-analyze and overthink everything related to this story at all?)

Thanks so much, SERIOUSLY! All of your reviews have been so amazing!!! ♥


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Review #5, by teh tarik 

6th April 2013:
I have this theory why Edie didn't get to tell Blakeslee after all, and it's because you want your readers gnashing their teeth in frustration for Edie and in fury for Rose and because TEH BAD THINGS must go on for Edie. And before us readers can vent all our frustrations on you, you go and bring Oliver Wood in. And then gah it almost makes up for Edie not having that conversation with Blakeslee. Mmmmphhhmfff. Anyway.

OMG the Farting Charm really killed me. I suppose Rosie deserved it :P What really kills me is Rose running away and with each step her hoity-toity high heels emit some terrific farts. smmmasjfk;l AND BEACH QUIDDITCH. What is that. Is that played by women in bikinis? WOMEN IN BIKINIS ON BROOMSTICKS.

Am so glad you brought in a bit of Edie's family life to the story. Although it's a chaotic bit of family life in the form of Luke, Leo and Liam. I've never seen or heard of Edie's mothering side before so i was pleased to see new things about her. I wonder if the brothers will feature in later chapters, otherwise this visit would be a bit of a random unconnected event. I suppose that's normal, though.

And that's the smack that Edie bestows on Oliver. I know you were posting on the forums asking if such a matter could be taken seriously, and I'm pleased to see that you wrote it really well here. It wasn't melodramatic or farcical and so far from what I've read in later chapters, it does affect both Oliver and Edie a little, but not to dramatic extremes. So well done there :)

Anyway, whe. I'm off to reread and review the next chapter!

teh

Author's Response: Hallo!! ♥

Edie's little trick gave me a chuckle as well, particularly the part you mentioned. I really wish I could see that xD

And yes, you've got Beach Quidditch right ;D I was poking fun at the way women's sports are widely ignored or disregarded, unless it's beach volleyball or something similar. It was my feminist (passive?)aggression coming out... I'm channeling Edie for sure!

Her brothers will be reappearing, although it's not a major plot point. You're right, it is a bit disconnected! But I thought that Edie's home life is a really important part of her character (said Captain Obvious.) It felt even more random and disconnected to be like "oh I have brothers and I had to take care of them all my life and THAT'S why I'm so bossy and opinionated about other people's lifestyles," but then not get into showing it. Plus this chapter was just a lot of fun to write... ;3

I'm so flattered that you're actually RE-reading my stories! Gah! Thank you so much for another lovely and very thoughtful review :D


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Review #6, by patronus_charm 

23rd March 2013:
Hello there Iím here with your requested review!

So we back to Edie on her mission how exciting! Haha so weíre already thrown into the drama with her having to get the drinks, then spotting Wood, then Rose jumping out of her chair, I knew this chapter was going to be a good one! Thank god Edieís a good liar because Rose would be on the warpath!

He asked to see Edie! Aw how cute! No Rose, how could you say she had diarrhoea! Thatís just mean, and embarrassing, Oliverís going to find her even weirder now! Poor Wood I agree he did act very awkwardly. Yay Edie though, she should become a professional prankster it would be a much better job than having to work with Rose, at least she got her chance at revenge though.

I liked their conversation it seemed as if they got closer. Oliver speaking his dad in the past tense made me wonder about him as well. Then Edie announcing she watches quidditch, and Oliverís shock about that was great.

Hahaha and we meet Edieís brothers, they seem just like her being all lively and loud. I really liked Liam and the way he was such an enthusiastic quidditch fan. I liked how they all had names which began with the letter l, the alliteration seemed to suite them. Even though Edie doesnít want children I think she would make a great mum and it would be fun to have her as one, because she seems as if she would always be up for a laugh.

A brief thing you werenít consistent in capitalising the m of mum, so itís probably best to keep it all lower or all upper case.

They ended up in a strip club? I never would have expected that! I agree with Edie those three words would make me give all my feminist beliefs too! Haha I agree the brothers are definitely spirited, and the way the stripper was offering a dance to Edie, poor her! This day just keeps on getting stranger and stranger for her! Luckily she managed to get out of it, though it would have been funny to have seen her reaction to it.

Wood tells Edie not to smoke when heís drunk out of his mind, talk about double standards! I did feel bad for Edie having to see her brother get a lap dance that must have been awkward! Then her slapping Oliver, he did deserve it but he seemed so pitiful after wards!

Another great chapter!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Yay, thanks so much!

I couldn't just let Rose NOT embarrass Edie. She knew that Edie couldn't reveal herself, so she took advantage of it because she's just that spiteful. Edie was feeling spiteful too, and Rose got SOME comeuppance, at least.

Yez, Oliver was indeed trying to ask Edie out for a pint. But his awkward tendencies, and the whole issue of her being a "professional journalist," made him all tongue-tied.

Liam is totally my favorite too. I just imagine him as this really serious kid who's horribly socially undeveloped because of it. But then he gets around his brothers and that mischievous side comes out too. I know Edie's not allowed to pick favorites, but I am ;D

So the Mum thing. My grammar skills are escaping me right now, but I thought that if you were saying "my mom" or "my mum" you wouldn't capitalize it. But if you're saying "Hey, Mum" because most people wouldn't call parents by first name, then it is capitalized? Because to them, Mum is a nick-name and thus a name? Right? I think? Maybeee?

OMG I hadn't even thought about that. Oliver telling Edie not to smoke while he's completely blitzed. Hmmm. An interesting double-standard indeed...

I know, I totally don't think she should have hit him. Even if he was being a jerk. :P

Thank you so much!! ♥


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Review #7, by LittleMissPrincess 

21st March 2013:
OMG NO I LOVED THIS CHAP!
liam, leo and luke were all so funny, and it was cool reading about edie's backstory AND I THINK EDIE AND OLIVER SHOULD KISS - wait wut i didn't say that/

ON TO ZEE NEXT CHAPTAH

Author's Response: Writing upbringings/families for my OCs is one of my favorite things! I love Liam, Luke and Leo as well. They annoy me just like I'm guessing little brothers should.

I also think Edie and Oliver should kiss. hehe. ♥


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Review #8, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

15th March 2013:
WoW. Pretty much the opposite of what I was expecting to happen in this chapter, although I have to admit that Oliver's non-sensical rambling was pretty funny!!

I think we got a much better look at what makes Edie tick in this chapter. I really enjoyed hearing about how she helped take care of her younger brothers; I really feel like that gave a whole other aspect to her character and it made her more relatable (not that she wasn't relatable before, though!).

Another brilliant chapter, and I'm having mixed feelings about this next one. I can't wait to read it... but then there will be no more for me to read right now!! :(

Author's Response: Yes, I enjoy socially awkward Oliver. If you've noticed, he rambles nonsensically when he's got a certain motive behind his words ;3

I'm glad you liked the little brothers thing! I've had that in my own mind since I first created Edie. To me, it's always been a major part of her character, and important to understanding why she is the way she is. But unfortunately it didn't appear in the story until now! I think when KC&CO is all finished, I'm going to go back and give the her brothers (or the L-Team, as Val so brilliantly calls them) a little more face time.

Thanks again!


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark 

28th February 2013:
First of all I am so sorry about how slack my reading and reviewing has been lately, especially because I love this story so bloody much (I'm even starting to talk Edie!) I promise I will get to the next chapter as soon as possible...when real life stops being such a big pain in the arse!

Anyway, this chapter was amazing. Rose is a piece of work, isn't she? I'm so glad Edie got a little bit of revenge because her life can be pretty dismal at times. And the way she did it was just perfect...especially after Rose told Oliver she had diarrhea.

The awkward conversation between Oliver and Edie as they were walking back to the flat was perfect. They have amazing chemistry, which you write so well-have I mentioned how jealous of your supreme writing skills I am?

Aw, I love Edie's brothers. They brought a very funny edge to this chapter and the strip club scene was great! I love that they boys and Oliver hit it off immediately, and the fact that Edie is so protective of her baby brothers. Her inner voice is awesome and hilarious and all things perfect.

I don't know what else to say except that I love this story so much! Keep up the good work, and sorry for rambling and rabbiting on like a crazy person.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: No problem! I am almost always behind on my reviews, how could I possibly blame you for doing the same? Glad to have you back, though, for another round. It means so much that you enjoy my story :3

I'm still not sure how I feel about the charm Edie performed on Rose. I had to do something to make myself REALLY feel like Rose deserved it, which is why she said that stupid thing about Edie being sick just because she could. I'm just a passive person, I suppose, haha.

I'm glad you like the chemistry between Oliver and Edie. I want it to seem realistic, and I know sometimes it isn't consistent. At Alchemy Coffee, for example, he wasn't so awkward. But I also know that I behave differently around certain people depending on what I want or what's just happened to me or how my day was. I just want their inconsistencies with each other to feel realistic and not like I can't decide how to portray them xD

Yeah, Oliver definitely is the easily-influenced-by-males type. I kind of elaborate on that in chapter twelve (as well as a ZILLION other things so I'm trying not to bog you guys down with new info).

Thank you so very much for another lovely review. :D


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Review #10, by Hope's Mom 

26th February 2013:
The flatulence charm Edie hit Rose with was a good one - too bad we can't do it in real life! Edie's brothers are quite an experience. I feel sorry for her as an (unwilling) tag along on the boys outing. The end is uncomfortable, isn't it? Did Edie slap Oliver for corrupting her brothers? This type of experience seems new only to Leo (maybe Luke it's hard to tell). Certainly Leo is not a newbie to this scene. The upcoming interview should be awkward. Thanks for the update.

Author's Response: That would be a handy charm for real life, eh? Whoopee Cushions are just kind of childish, but somehow this seems like it isn't! xD

Yes, that's why she slapped him. I drew a bit from my own personal life for that. I still feel proctective over my younger sister, because my parents made sure I was, but now she's an adult and can take care of herself. But it's hard to shake that feeling! Anyway, it's addressed a bit more in the next chapter. But you're right, Edie really needs to just let go! Being a control freak is part of her character (and, I don't know if you noticed, something that she got from her mother!)

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #11, by AlexFan 

25th February 2013:
I was highly amused while reading this chapter. It was hilarious and the Shining part was especially funny. I was all pumped for Edie to step up and be all "it was I who wrote that amazing article!"

But hey, at least she got some form of revenge over Rose. I absolutely loved Oliver in this chapter! He just seemed so darn sweet and cute. I just wanted to give him a big hug!

I gotta say though, that slap was really uncalled for. Besides, Edie's got to admit that Oliver is right though. She needs to let go.

Author's Response: Hello!

Yeah, I was kind of let down that I had to take back her decision to tell Blakeslee. I had that whole chapter written and worked on it for a long time, but something just didn't feel right. And it messed up the plot too much anyway.

He is quite sweet and cute, eh? ;3

I'm glad to read a negative opinion about the slap. I feel the same way you do! xD I think it's really important that writers don't always agree with the way their characters are acting--I'm not changing it because it's an important part of Edie's character to overreact. But I don't think that JKR agreed with everything that All-Caps-Lock Harry did and said in OotP. :D It's interesting to see how some people think Edie was in the right, and some in the wrong.


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Review #12, by SweetandSilent21 

21st February 2013:
I love this story loads! You write wonderfully and your characters are really just completely excellent. 10/10, I hope you update again soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate that you took the time to leave your thoughts :3 The next chapter's pretty much done, just working on some minor tweaking!

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Review #13, by soapman333 

21st February 2013:
Ah, this is where the slap comes in.

Completely believable and well deserved :) I'm mostly just reviewing to rate and tell you that I like the story. . .I don't really have much to say.

10/10
soapman333

Author's Response: Yes! Yes, this is where it is. I'm glad you find it to be believable; like I said, I've never included it in a story. Thank you! Your thoughts are appreciated, no matter how random!

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Review #14, by Siriusly89 

21st February 2013:
Grrr. . . . .my internet was down so I have been piped to the post once again! Curses!

Anyway, I am loving Edie's girl-power! You go Edie! And her little revenge on Rose was pure genius, I do understand why she couldn't take Blakeslee about the article though, as she probably woudn't have believed her!

And Edies brothers, they are like the brothers you'd love for your best friend to have, because they would be hilarious, but hate for them to be your brothers, because they would more than likely embarrass the hell out of you (just see Edie as an example :p)

I loved Edie's scene with Oliver at the end! Because lets be honest, that establishment was the last place Edie wanted to be with her YOUNGER BROTHERS. Period. And Oliver should seriously have thought of this BEFORE getting drunk with them, and buying them, well unsuitable things!

I must admit, I was slightly, well, excited when Edie slapped Oliver round the face because HE DESERVED IT!

The interview is going to be quite awkward though. . .

UPDATE SOON PLEASE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOOOVE THIS :D

And I'm suffering from Seamus withdrawal. . . . . .so if he could appear? Pretty please *fluttering eyelashes*

I will get my title the next time! I will!

Author's Response: Awww, that's okay! It was the internet's fault--not yours! ;D

I couldn't help but throw in a little (or a lot?) of feminism in here. I think I got too concerned with readers being like "ugh, the strip club scene, how trite," so I was like NO GUISE SRSLY IM DIFFERENT I AM I AM. Don't know what exactly was achieved here.

I loved writing her brothers! Leo gave me some trouble, as he was coming across a bit too Seamus-y. But I think I finally figured out what makes them different, and it's that Seamus has this sense of duty and responsibility whilst also being a partier. And Leo is just a partier. ;D

I'm going to talk about it later in the story, but Oliver is the type of person to be put in the spotlight and not want to disappoint. Edie's brothers recognized him, and must have known him for being a notorious partier, so he was all I AM MAN MUST BE COOL MUST IMPRESS ALL OF THE DUDES. So of course he just got crazy and didn't think about how it would affect Edie.

And yes, yes the interview will be quite awkward.

Gah, I know, I either have all Oliver or all Dean/Seamus in my chapters. He makes a brief appearance in the next chapter. Promise ;3

Thanks so much!!! Your reviews always make my day!


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Review #15, by ValWitch21 

21st February 2013:
That scene with Rose. You just made my day. GO EDIE, TAKING ACTION AND BEING A STRONG WOMAN.

Seriously though, Rose got exactly what she deserved, and more than that.

And Edie's brothers are the best (except for my brother, of course), I hope to see more of them soon! And a chapter image too. And now I'm wondering, is Edie a nickname for something starting in L? I've been looking but I can't think of anything.

I would leave a longer review, but duty calls. Until the next chapter! &hearts

Author's Response: Hello you!

I admit that writing the scene with Rose was a bit out of my comfort zone. If she'd done something like that to me I would have been all I MUST BE EXCEEDINGLY REASONABLE AND LOGICAL TO A FAULT and waited to speak with her quietly about how rude she was being. But, that's totally not how Edie works. So as I was writing that scene I was like "God, Edie, way to be mature, ugh." haha.

Edie is short for Edith, her grandmother's name. It's mentioned waaay back in chapter one... I considered giving her an L name too, when I started the fic, but I liked that it separated her from her brothers. In a lot of ways she's very different from them, not to mention much older. :D

Thanks so much for reading, miss Val!


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