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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Liana 

5th February 2015:
I'm sure it's hard to be a Slytherin and make friends outside of that house. Voldemort is being as charming as ever.

Author's Response: Hello! :) It definitely would be hard, since the Slytherins stick to their own even more than the other houses. Yeah, that Voldy's a real great guy, isn't he? :P

Thanks so much for the review! :D


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Review #2, by Secret Santa ;D 

2nd January 2015:
I haven't given much in terms of clues to help figure out my identity, so today I will. Your clue is as follows: Contradictory swear uses toes.

That one took me a while. Now, on to the review!

Voldemort point of view is always creepy! Without fail. You've written it great here, capturing his super creepy vibe in this sort of poetic way. I especially like this scene because I'm viewing it through the lens of knowing that Snape is on the side of the Order all throughout this. You convey his body language so perfectly, I might as well be in the room as all of this is happening.

Ah Terry is back and everything he says and does is just so cool. Like, he just spins into his chair and kicks his feet up. He even sits down cool.

I feel like Terry is attempting to gauge Tor's reaction to being told that Goyle's father is a Death Eater, to judge her level of sympathy toward that side. I think he may headed toward disappointment when it comes to that, unfortunately.

The line - "The coming war is something that everybody and nobody is talking about." struck me as a really impactful one for some reason. Like, you went on to explain it in the rest of the paragraph, but I already got that exact mental image just off of the strength of that one line.

Aw, she thinks he's a pureblood...that's going to be a nasty shock.

I see his wink far too clearly in my head for any of this to be healthy. I'm literally obsessed with Terry Boot as a character.

'Grinning, but not in a sarcastic way' - Who is even supposed to be falling in love here, Tor or me??

I really love this story. I'm quite enamored with your writing and I cannot wait to see where all of this goes!

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Review #3, by summer blaise 

11th November 2014:
Im trying to sleep but i cant its to damb good 😢 keep writing 😃

Author's Response: Hey!! :) Aw, I hope you got some sleep, but I'm so happy you like the story. Thank you! :D

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Review #4, by Jess the Enthusiast 

21st September 2014:
Eee he's such a cutie!!! Great chapter!!

Author's Response: Hehe, thank you!! ♥

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Review #5, by Teddy1993 

3rd September 2014:
Great scene in the hospital wing. Your writing is amazing!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! That's so sweet. ♥ I'm so happy you liked this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it.

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Review #6, by MissesWeasley123 

11th October 2013:
Okay, reviewing two chapters in one.. let's see how I do..

I really like these flashbacks/memories/mind reading stuff Tor's goes through. They all are very interesting, and really add to the plot. Sometimes I wonder whether you're doing certain ones on purpose.. or if these all relate to each other.

TERRY! ♥ ... I love him. But, just a quick question: If he's a Muggleborn, then when he went to Hogwarts during his Seventh year, while Harry, Ron, and Hermione were horcrux hunting, he shouldn't have been allowed to, right? Because he's a Mugllebron? And no Muggleborns were allowed to attend Hogwarts during that year? But if you changed that to make it fit with your story, I don't mind at all - forget I ever said it lol.

But seriously. Tor and Terry.

EVEN THEIR NAMES SOUND GOOD TOGETHER!

Nadia and Terry not so much. *sigh* I really adore him though, absolutely love him. Gorilla is very annoying. KILL HER.

No seriously, kill her. She sucks.

You described Tor's guilt so well. I think you did it wonderfully, because at that moment, not only was Tor feeling guilty, I was too. I could feel her guilt and yeah. Very vivid and realistic.

A great two chapters as always!

Author's Response: Hola!

I'm glad you like the flashbacks! I feel like they're really important to round Tor out and explain why she is the way she is, and also to give her father a more rounded character even when he's not directly present in the action. They mostly have indirect or direct connections with the action, or foreshadow something in the future- foreshadowing is the best. :P

Ah I'm so glad you picked up on that! When I picked Terry to be the mystery boy I was traveling and didn't have access to the HP books, and hp wiki didn't inform me about that little fact of his blood status. But when DH rolls around (in the far, far away future), I actually figured out a cool plot to fit that in and it will help drive the story onwards in an interesting way!

Haha, I swear only in talking to a writer is it ok for someone to say "kill her" and the writer to think "yeah, I wish I could!" She does suck. :P

I'm glad you could feel Tor's guilt too! :)

Thank you for another wonderful review my dear!


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Review #7, by Calypso  

22nd June 2013:
Hello there! :)

Ooh I lurved the scene with Snape and Voldemort! It did make me marvel at just what a good double-agent Snape was, and it was chilling to think of Voldemort thinking about training up Tor and her friends while they're still barely more than children. So far in the story, I don't think that we've seen Tor specifically in such close connection to Voldemort... And I really liked that last little mention of Snape's relationship with Lily was very touching, and it was nice to have a tiny peek into another person's life who's been compromised by Voldemort...
One thing I wasn't quite sure about was Voldemort referring to Draco as "the poor little child." I get that it was meant to be sarcastic, but I'm still not sure that Voldy would even have a conception of him as unlucky... I don't know.

Oh no! Tor didn't get picked! That made me sad. Am I right in suspecting that there's something slightly fishy about Griz and that Bludger?
Ooh I can't wait to hear more about Amaris' plan! I'm sure that whatever she's come up with will be amazing...! Pureblood maniacs or not, I really love Tor's friends. They're so supportive and kind, and you write them so wonderfully together.

Yay! Terry came to see her! I really like how you're establishing how perfect they are for one another in some respects, and how mismatched in others. I hated (in a good way!) all the irony going on there when he was talking about Griz's father being a Death Eater, and also the way she just assumed that he was a Pureblood, and sympathetic to the Dark Lord- it's weird, because in the books, we assume that people are against him, unless told otherwise. I like how Tor's relationship with her friends and natural allies is already being altered by Terry, in the bit where she realises that her friends are responsible for his friends' plight.

I absolutely the way things are developing, and there's so much in this chapter that I'm looking forward to seeing the consequences of... This is such an interesting story on so many levels, and I'm looking forward to reading on!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked the switch in perspective and seeing what was going on in the rest of Voldy's circle. It is very chilling, and tragic to think about these young people being dragged in, often against their will or being blinded by glory. I'm glad you liked Snape, and you're right, Voldy is much more sadistic than sarcastic, I'll look into that! :)

I know, but she's too busy to play Quidditch anyway! There's definitely something fishy, Griz isn't the nicest person even if she can aim a Bludger. I'm glad you're excited for the plan, and actually like her friends- I think they're great as well, and love writing the dynamics between them.

I know, Terry and Tor are just so sweet together! You're right, they have such a strange relationship that both works and isn't meant to work. I'm glad you liked the irony, I loved writing it and having Tor squirm a little. And yes, she is beginning to see things in a different light already!

Thank you for another wonderful review my dear, I really appreciate it and they make me so happy! :D


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Review #8, by marauderfan 

14th June 2013:
Another great chapter. Tor's interactions with Terry are cute - he's clearly done some research to find out who she is, because I don't think she ever told him she was a Slytherin, or that her last name was Greengrass.

(And speaking of her last name... I'm wondering again about that. In this chapter she mentions how her father is her hero, and that Yaxley is mostly undercover, so it made it even more surprising to me that she goes by her mother's last name instead. It doesn't quite make sense to me.)

This chapter made it so much clearer just how much Tor idolises her father, and in a way that's made her blind to what he is really doing out there as a Death Eater. It'll be interesting to see her change as she socialises with "the enemy" more and realises how much she's been brainwashed. I thought her rationalising Terry's blood status "he HAD to be a pure blood" was good. She doesn't know, so she assumes the best so she can keep talking to him. I am so excited for the moment she finds out he's Muggle born!

Author's Response: Hello! :) I'm glad you're liking the interactions with Terry, and you're right, he's done some digging as well! I like writing their bantering and cute little conversations, especially at these early stages.

Yeah, I'm really glad you're pointing out that it's confusing because I'm trying to think of ways to clarify it! The unprofessional answer is that I wanted her father to be a known Death Eater, and really like Yaxley's appearances in the HP books. In terms of the story flow, it gets explained a little better I think in a couple chapters, but basically they just chose to go by their mother's name at school. Then if Yaxley's cover is ever blown, they can hide underneath their mother's name and not be targeted, if that makes sense? Also, I'm not sure about England but I know a lot of people who go by their mothers/hyphenated names, and I wouldn't want to curse my kid with an initial at the end of the alphabet! :P But I will try to clear it up! :)

I'm glad you liked the intrinsic nature of Tor's support for the DE, and how she's blind and brainwashed in a way to the truth. You're right, she is in denial in a lot of things and chooses to believe what is most convenient! :P I'm so pleased that you're excited to see how she changes! Thank you for another great review! :D


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Review #9, by Broken Butterfly 

22nd May 2013:
Hey, I loved the dream, can't wait to see the hidden meaning of it in the future. Great idea to post the kid in the bed with the ear curse, very creative and funny. Bummer about seeker but maybe something will make up for it in the future. Yet another wonderful chapter can't wait to go on.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you liked the dream, and that you're curious about it. I do love to foreshadow! :) I'm also happy you enjoyed the addition of the kid in the hospital wing, and it also shows how the Slytherins are pretty nasty. Thank you for another lovely review! :)

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Review #10, by nott theodore 

20th May 2013:
Two chapters right after each other? I'm doing well here - you should be proud of me!

The beginning of this chapter was really well written. Snape and Voldemort are definitely not easy characters to write, but I thought you captured their voices brilliantly here - they spoke exactly as they did in the books. The way that Voldemort views Snape as his best and most worthy servant is so true to canon, as were the comments about Draco trying to come up with a way to kill Dumbledore. I can also imagine old Voldy asking Snape for his opinion on the next generation of Death Eaters - he'd be a much more reliable source than their parents, who would want to put forward their children as the best candidates to become the Dark Lord's servants.

I found myself a little confused with the transition between the beginning and Tor waking up - I wasn't sure if Tor had been dreaming about the meeting between Snape and Voldemort with some of her amazing mind-reading skills, or whether the events were separate. Of course, it could be that you intended for me to be confused about it, in which case, ignore me completely!

Oh goodness, I'm even more annoyed at Griz in this chapter, because she did something like that and got away with it?! It's a good job that they've come up with a plan to get revenge on her, because she definitely deserves it for making Tor lose the Seeker spot on the Slytherin team!

You know, it's so typical of Tor's luck that Terry arrives when she's looking - well, not disgusting, but definitely not her best - and in the middle of some mini tantrum type thing. But he appeared, and I loved the conversation and the banter they have going, despite how little they know each other. There's obviously an attraction there already.

Oh, and the sibling rivalry's still evidently in action! The way that Tor gets jealous at the mention of her sister because she thinks Terry might like her more than him is so believable here. But, if I'm not mistaken, it also means that he's been doing some digging too to find out who she is, since he knows she's a Greengrass, and I can't ever remember her telling him that.

I find Tor's innocence really sweet in a way. She looks up to her father so much, which is completely understandable, and idolises the Death Eaters and what they stand for. But at the same time, it's sort of rehearsed rhetoric, and I don't think she's ever really considered the full implications of what they do. It's going to be extremely difficult for her to break out of that pattern and think for herself, because that's exactly what she's been taught not to do.

I wonder if that's going to start changing over the course of the story. It's interesting that she's thinking of talking to Terry in terms of 'fraternising with the enemy' and almost making the excuse that she'll befriend anyone who can help her get ahead in life. It's a very Slytherin way of thinking, with the cunning and ambition, but I do get the sense that she's trying to find reasons for her to talk to Terry again.

Another aspect was perfectly in character for her was the fact that while she questioned Terry's blood status internally, she's wise enough not to question it openly because then she'd be in danger of seeming too closely allied with Voldemort's side; of course, at this point nobody knows which way the war will go, or which side is really the safest to support. She probably also realises that Terry might not take kindly to her placing such importance on something like blood status.

At the end of the chapter it was great to see her begin to question what her friends have done; perhaps she's beginning to realise that what seems like a funny prank at the time might have more serious consequences, and sometimes they should put some more thought behind their actions.

There were just a few typos that I picked up on:
"Rumor has it that Harry Potter constantly meeting with Dumbledore" -- Harry Potter's or Harry Potter is
"Short for Terrance" -- more of a Brit-pick, but I think it's normally spelled Terrence here

I'm so intrigued to see how this story is going to develop, because while there's the introduction of Terry and there's obviously going to be some romance, there's clearly a lot more happening here. I'll be interested to see if Tor completely forgets about Theo now that she's met Terry, or if she'll continue with a bit of a crush on him!

Sian :)

Author's Response: You are just too good to me!!!

I'm glad you liked this chapter as well, and thought Snape and Voldy were in character. I often get tired of just writing about Tor and want to show what else is going on in the DE world, which is how these little changes in perspectives came about. It would make sense if perhaps Tor was picking up on these interactions unknowingly with her strange Legilimency powers, though! :P

I know, Griz is just awful! I'm not sure if Tor would have been picked or not, but it was a rotten move anyway. And yes, Tor certainly feels some resentment for her sister. And I'm glad you liked the next interaction with Terry, and yes, he's definitely been doing some investigating too! :P

You certainly understand Tor perfectly! She experiences a lot of conflict with who she feels she is, and who she thinks she should be. Right now she's kind of in denial about any possible blood status that Terry could have, and is trying to justify her interest in him just in case.

I'm really happy you're enjoying the story, and excited to keep replying to all these reviews! :) And you're right, there's a lot more to the story than just romance! :) Thank you so much for this amazing review! :D


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Review #11, by Siriusly89 

8th May 2013:
Hey. . . . .Siriusly89 here with your review that took me eleven whole days to get to and I am so, so, so sorry about that I actually donít even have a legitimate excuse apart from sheer forgetfulness! I am so sorry!

Oooh! Voldemortís point of view. I love the banter between him and Snape, especially when Snape mentions helping Draco. Thatís the exact way Voldemort would have reacted in my mind anyway.

Poor Tori! Griz not aiming at her is about as truthful as the notion that Voldemort is nothing but a big softie on the inside, which is to say that itís nothing but a big pack of lies! Lies I say!

I love it, Terry walks in while Toriís having a mini meltdown. The causal way he approached her was so cute. Gah!

Iím very interested in this plan now! Please tell me they carry it out in this chapter, because itís really bugging me as to what it is!

Toriís inner battle on whether she should be talking to Terry or not is very interesting. Its sort of sad that she views him at the Ďenemyí when really, all he is, is a friendly boy who has taken an interest in her.

I really like Toriís innocence. Her father is her hero, and all she wants to do is be like him when she grows up, pretty much like any child since the beginning of time. Nearly every childís first role-model is their parents. Except, Toriís father isnít a good person to aspire to be, is he? I mean, Tori doesnít seem like Death-Eater material to me, she just seems too innocent, but then again, she probably doesnít realise the full extent of what Death-Eaters do, does she?

Oh! For the first time, Tori sort of realises that some of the pranks the Slytherins pull mightnít be that funny! Interesting!

Another wonderfully wonderful chapter!

Re-request ;)

Author's Response: Hola! Thank you for another greatly enjoyable review! :)

I'm happy you liked the beginning with Voldy- I wanted to switch the narrative up a bit, and who better to cameo than You-Know-Who and his favourite follower!

Haha, yeah that Griz is a nasty one, but at least she has mean aim with that Beater's bat! :P

Aw, I'm glad you like Terry and Tor's banter!! I think they're cute, too. But yes, many more conflicted feelings coming up in future chapters! Ahh, and they kind of forget about the revenge plan, but it has since been published and is worth waiting for!!! (or at least I like to think so!)

I'm glad that you think she comes across as innocent, because that's exactly how she is: naive, and stuck in idolizing her Dad without realizing the true implications. She's just detached from the violence of it all, and can only see the glory. But yes, she's starting to see things in a new light!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!! Of course I would love to re-request! :D


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Review #12, by marauder5 

10th March 2013:
Another great chapter! The beginning with Snape was perfect - that's exactly how Voldemort talks, so well done! :)

Terry is just so cute, and I understand why Tor likes him ;) I'm very eager to find out just how she'll get back on Goyle's sister...

Author's Response: Merci beaucoup :) I'm happy Voldemort came off properly, he was strangely easy to portray because he's so singleminded. Good to know that you like Terry, too!!!

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Review #13, by Beem 

22nd February 2013:
Really enjoying the story, you write well! I am secretly hoping that Tor and Theo get together though :) please add more chapters soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!! I'm glad you like Theo and Tor together, I have big plans for both their characters:) I have several chapters already written so hopefully they'll be approved soon!!

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