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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Liana 

1st February 2015:
That was a nice bit of luck--running into the person she was looking for to begin with. I hate it when someone overdoes it in trying to give advice when maybe you're just a bit jittery but still know what to do.

Author's Response: Hi again! It was some good luck, for sure. And yes, I agree - Tor knows what to do, and they were being quite irritating with smothering her with advice like that. Thanks so much for all the reviews - you're awesome! :)

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Review #2, by Secret Santa ;D 

23rd December 2014:
Here for the last day of this week. This has been super fun!

You've got me practically obsessed with this mystery boy's identity. I can't wait to find out who he is. I've gone through the process of elimination with everything we know about him and cross referenced with canon. Hopefully he is a canon character or all of that was worthless haha.

She's having the same kinds of thoughts for her Muggleborn as she has for Theo!! She's even getting pretty for him, that's how you know she's got it bad.

I'm surprised that she told Amaris. I wonder if she'll confide in her about his blood purity once she finds out. It certainly would have been awkward if he'd have overheard their conversation about him. (That's totally happened to me before and it was HORRID)

She's thinking about joining Voldemort and she's only fourteen! She definitely doesn't know what the reality of it is really like. This reminds me of poor Regulus.

The guy is so charismatic and sarcastic and he's Terry Boot!! Not who I was thinking at all, but he was on the list! Wow, I am so glad it's a canon character and one that I haven't read before. This feel like a story that calls for a minor character as a love interest for some reason. It's going to be awesome to get to know him more and more, he's already an incredible character.

I do want to know how his room works and who changes the password, but he said all will be explained in time, so I'll wait. I love her crush on him, it is really so sweet.

You wrote the Quidditch really well. I was a little sad that she got hit by a Bludger right before she was going to win, but it was a great ending to the chapter. I feel as though things are picking up. Such a great way to end week one. The story is really, really great!

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Review #3, by Raven 

13th November 2014:
I love the story, and i think i have an idea of the stranger's first name and yea, the chapter was rough but it was also amazing and you are a really good writer

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That really means the world to hear ♥

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Review #4, by Jess the Enthusiast 

21st September 2014:
Terry Boot! Ahh I'm so excited for him to be featured in more and more scenes because I really like him!

Great chapter! I hope Tor isn't hurt too bad after that nasty hit

Author's Response: Yay!! I'm so excited that you like him, he's so fun to work on.

Tor will be okay, hehe. :) Thanks so much!! It's so exciting for me to read your reviews as you work through the story, I really appreciate it!!


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Review #5, by Teddy1993 

3rd September 2014:
Great chapter. I was surprised by the ending, although it's not very hard to guess whose Bludger that was.

Author's Response: Hi again! :) You're right, it is pretty easy to guess who it was. :P I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 

21st September 2013:
Oh, crap. That sucks. About the bludger, I mean. And she was so close to winning.

But YAYYY, we know who the boy is! I've never really read anything about Boot, but I'm intrigued to see what he becomes. I wonder how it will go down when they discover more about each other.

Awesome chapter!

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: I know! Although I secretly don't think Tor would have been picked as Seeker no matter what, the Bludger does give her an excuse to have lost... and something to be mad about! :P

Terry just felt like the right boy for her to fall meet, somehow, maybe because we don't know much about him from canon. I'm glad you're interested in learning more, and in seeing the relationship evolve.

Thank you for another lovely review! :)


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Review #7, by Calypso  

22nd June 2013:
Hello m'dear!

:O It's Terry Boot! I don't know why, but I'm glad you chose a canon character, it sort of grounds the whole story in the magical world even more, and seeing as we know virtually nothing about him, you're pretty much at liberty to do what you like with him. I think it'll be interesting that he's older than her, just cos it'll be another dynamic in their relationship... I'm very interested as to what Tor's friends will think of him...

I really loved the way you wrote that delicious feeling of falling in love. I could really feel Tor's excitement about seeing him, and joy when she *did* see him, and that general anticipation that you get in situations like that. It was so sweet.

I always enjoy the little italicised sections you put in about her father and his Death Eater life. They make a great contrast with the rest of Tor's more everyday concerns, and help to remind us that there's a darker edge to her life too!

Ooh the Quidditch trials were exciting! (although I was pretty sure that Tor would get in :P) I liked all her friends' advice to her about the trials, it made me smile, as does her little crush on Theodore! One little thing- in previous chapters, I'm pretty sure that you were referring to Cousin Zelda as Cousin Zena- you might want to fix that!

I'm definitely starting to dislike Griz now! Although the bit about her shrunken head did make me laugh (I love how you mentioned its name!) She seems like she could be a powerful enemy for Tor though, and her hitting the Bludger at her shows that there's some animosity between them. So I can't wait to see how that will unfold!

Another great chapter! Well done ♥

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi darling, great to see you back! :)

Yes, it's Terry! I wanted to use a canon character who, like you said, helps set the story in Hogwarts era and connect it to Harry's world. And yes, there's a lot of freedom to define his character! I have a very clear image of him in my head now, and it's become my headcanon as well! :P

Aw, I wanted to give Tor a lovestruck teen moment! Despite the dark sides to her personality she is still a fourteen year old girl with a crush, and I'm glad you found it sweet! :)

I'm very pleased that you like the Yaxley references and anecdotes as well, I really enjoy including them and elaborating on the other people in Tor's life. There's a lot more to Yaxley than Tor realizes, and he's a lot of fun to imagine.

Haha, Tor was pretty confident about her Quidditch, wasn't she? I'm glad you find the Theo crush fun, and how the boys were of course trying to give her advice. Oops, silly me, I'll go back and fix that! :D

I'm glad you pointed out the Griz shrunken head bit because I thought it was quite typical of Griz! She really isn't very pleasant, and their relationship is definitely not going to get better.

Thank you for another lovely review! :D


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Review #8, by marauderfan 

8th June 2013:
It's Terry! (Afraid of heights and lives in Ravenclaw Tower, somehow I feel like that's going to come up again). I can't wait to see Tor's reaction when she finds out he's Muggle born.

Griz is evil, sabotaging Tor's quidditch tryout. And omg she has a shrunken head named Xavier - too funny. That would definitely not be a good thing to wake up to.

A bit of CC - The italic part about Yaxley felt sort of out of place. It's clearly in the past, because it's when he just joined the DE's.. but then Tor says she stops thinking about the future. I think that'd make sense if she hadn't just been thinking about the past, because she was thinking about the future before that... (am I making sense? I just read over that again and I hope I don't sound like jumbly words.) The part in italics looks like it was just stuck in there, it doesn't seem to relate to anything around it. Maybe use that piece later, in a different chapter? (unless you did that intentionally, in which case ignore my ramblings!)

Great job!

Author's Response: Haha, yes! :) And hmm that's a good point, Terry is braver than he acts though! :P

Yes, Griz really isn't too nice, is she? At least this gives Tor a good reason to have not made the team, as she would have been pretty angry if Zelda got the Seeker spot anyway! And yes, Xavier just sounds awful!

Aha, I have a tendency to write first and think if it fits later: I think it's part of writing a story chapter by chapter, instead of the whole thing and revising it. The flashbacks (and there are more coming!) are just my break from Tor's incessant drama. I'll see if I can re-visit it and maybe change it, however! :)

Thanks for another great review! :)


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Review #9, by Broken Butterfly 

22nd May 2013:
OH No! I guess we won't know if she makes seeker after all. I have a hunch who hit that buldger at her head. Great chapter. Really love her blatent lie to Amaris about teh mysterious boy, and his nickname of her to feisty. Can't wait to read on.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm sure your hunch is right! :P I'm glad you liked it, and Tor's lying to Amaris and the bantering with the boy. Thank you for the review! :D

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Review #10, by nott theodore 

20th May 2013:
Hi darling! I'm getting so into this story and I want to be able to read it all at once, but instead I'm having to take the chance to catch up when I can. I'm determined to catch up before you finish this story, though (unless that's going to be in the next two weeks, in which case, I might not be successful...)

Aw, this was such a cute chapter! Little Tor at the beginning, bless her, getting all excited about the mysterious Muggle-born, dressing up and putting extra effort into her appearance for him. It's really adorable, especially when you contrast it to how eager she was to dissuade Goyle in the last chapter!

I love your characterisation so much. You're managing to maintain the perfect balance between Tor as a protagonist who's the daughter of a Death Eater, and Tor as a normal teenage girl who's interested with everything a normal teenager would be, and those concerns are generally her primary ones. Also, before I rant about how horrible Griz is (that one's coming later, just to warn you!), I wanted to say how perfect it is that she owns something like a shrunken head and that she's given it a name. It just fits so well with what we know about her character so far.

The boys' eagerness to help Tor prepare for the try-outs is quite endearing, but it made me laugh as well. It's so in character with the majority of teenage boys to think they know everything and want to show off or 'help' girls, without realising that these girls don't always need their help. And Tor's obviously pretty talented at Quidditch, so she probably fits in that category.

We found out who the Muggle-born is! So it's Terry Boot? I had a suspicion it was going to be one of the Ravenclaw boys, because I'd discounted Gryffindor and Slytherin (obviously) but he didn't strike me as the sort of boy that I imagine Justin Finch-Fletchley to be. Not posh enough, for one thing, and he didn't seem like much of a Hufflepuff.

I like the fact that the two of them haven't actually exchanged names yet, although Tor's overheard his. I can imagine she'll be doing some research on that from now on, to find out more about him and work out who he is. One of the things I'm intrigued about is at what point she'll find out his blood status, because I think that will be something that puts her off, or whether it'll be a stumbling block because she finds out much later on. Either way, I don't think her reaction will be a positive one, since we've already seen how important blood status is to their families when it comes to picking a partner.

And so we come to the Quidditch try-outs. Of course, because of canon Tor could never be the new Seeker, but that doesn't stop me being angry about it. Griz is just so horrible! I'm not entirely sure what she's got against Tor personally that made her aim solely for her, but I don't like her at all. Hopefully she'll get what's coming to her soon!

This plot is developing really well, and each chapter leaves me wanting to read on and discover how everything continues. I can't really understand why you haven't got more reviews on these later chapters!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi! Oh my goodness, these amazing reviews were so lovely to wake up to this morning! Thank you so much! :D

I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and don't worry, the chances of this story being finished in the next two weeks or next six months are slim to none.

I think Tor is so cute too, and I want to make sure she comes across as a silly little girl sometimes, since she really is just a normal teenager. I'm so excited that you like her characterization and that she comes across as well balanced and with multiple layers, since that's just how I imagine her! :) I've been trying to write Tor and her friends, like the boys being boys, as realisitically as possible considering their extreme circumstances.

Yes, it's Terry! :) I picked him since we know next to nothing about him, and he appealed to me for some reason. I really like writing them, and their interactions together! :)

You're right, the blood status will definitely be an issue! For now though, she's in the blissful ignorance of having a crush. :P

Griz is just awful, isn't she? I actually see Goyle as having more redemptive qualities than his sister, and she and Tor definitely have an unspoken hatred for each other.

I'm really excited that you're enjoying the story, and especially the later chapters which I actually prefer to the earlier ones! :) Thank you so, so much for these reviews, and I shall respond to the other ones right away! :D





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Review #11, by Siriusly89 

25th April 2013:
Hello, Siriusly89 here with your very late review, for which I am very sorry for!

It seems I start every review with that first line these days. . . . .ah well, now is not the time to ponder my shoddy time-keeping abilities!

Awh, Tori’s making an effort to look good for her little crush! Naww. . . . .although I’m not sure how she’s going to react when she finds out that he’s a Muggleborn, somehow I don’t think that’s going to end well.

Astoria’s day sounds hectic! A little like mine, minus the whole magic part, and the preventing someone from hexing a Ravenclaw, but she sounds like a girl who has a million things to do all at one time!

The boys giving her Quidditch tips was pretty cute. I was just sitting there going, awh, you don’t think Astoria knows what she’s doing, that’s nice, just wait ‘till you see her in action. Because, lets face it, we all know Astoria’s going to be brilliant at Quidditch. Seriously. And if she’s not, I shall eat my hat.

GAH! SHE WALKED INTO THE MUGGLEBORN! YAY!

Mysterious muggleborn is Terry Boot! For some reason, I had it in my head that M.M was a Hufflepuff, but now we know he’s a Ravenclaw. HANG ON! Phin hexed a Ravenclaw outside D.A.D.A, right? What if that was Terry?

Wait, Terrys not in Astorias class. Never mind. .. . .

Their little banter was very well done. They aren’t falling all over each other, but there’s definitely some subtle flirting going on, and I love to read that, you know, the whole poking fun at one another, all the while batting eyelashes. It’s just brilliant.

Wohoo! Astoria is right on track to become seeker! That little piggy Griz just needs to leave her alone.

One snitch, I told you my prediction would come true!

Two snitches, I should so become a seer!

HOLD IT! That stupid Griz hit her in the back of the HEAD? What is wrong with that girl? She needs help, and lots of it! Stupid Griz, stopping Astoria from becoming the seeker, making me wrong. Grr. . . . ..

Feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Ahh, I love your reviews, they make me laugh :)

I love making Tor snap out of Death Eater child mode for a little and just act like a normal fifteen year old! I'm glad you think Terry and Tor seem to have good chemistry, I'm hoping that their relationship proves to be quirky and funny the way it is in my head instead of all Twilight-esque swooning and all that.

Astoria is really busy, and I'm sure all the identity crises in the upcoming chapters won't help with that at all! :P

Yes, Griz is just mean, isn't she! Well no worries, they get her back... in, like, Chapter 17... but eventually, she gets what's coming for her!!! It's too bad Tor got attacked during the trials, but I guess not everybody gets to be a Quidditch player. Although I'd totally be one if I was at Hogwarts. Definitely.

Thanks for another great and entertaining review! :D I'll definitely re-request. :)


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Review #12, by marauder5 

10th March 2013:
So Mystery boy is Terry Boot? I can't wait to read more! :)

Author's Response: :D love Terry.

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