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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Liana 

30th January 2015:
It would be very tempting to name a pug Pansy. I wonder who this mysterious student is. I don't blame Astoria for trying to escape Goyle. She's made him sound unattractive.

Author's Response: Hi again! It is a great pug name, isn't it? Goyle is definitely not the best, and his aggressive behaviour to Tor is quite disturbing for her. Thanks so much for reviewing! :)

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Review #2, by heronduck 

2nd January 2015:
Your story is beyond addicting! I can't stop reading it! Brilliant work!

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much!! :D

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Review #3, by Secret Santa ;D 

22nd December 2014:
Back for day six!

This is my favourite chapter so far. The whole Goyle fancying her thing could not be any funnier, especially since Amaris is tempting him over with food and generally doing everything possible to make things worse. That letter from her mother couldn't be any more cringe worthy for Tor. A fifteen year old girl because told that marrying Goyle wouldn't be so bad! That's stuff of nightmares :P

Wow, the way Tor reacts to the girl she ran into was surprising. She must really be having a bad day.

The rest of her day is just a series of unfortunate events, is it not? I especially love the tiny cupid shooting her in the arm with an arrow.

Her literal mad dash away from Goyle's incoming advances is so great. This story is far more humorous than I expected it to be, at least for now. The portrait named Anne was a nice touch. I really like when portraits are incorporated into stories here because they can be such interesting characters if used correctly. Glad she was introduced to a room that I don't believe we know from canon. I am all for new secrets of Hogwarts when a story is centered on someone we don't hear from in the books.

He's reading the Chronicles of Narnia! This has to be her Muggleborn.

There's so many things mentioned here that seem very much like hints and foreshadowing. I'll just have to wait and see.

I really like this guy. He's like Neville, but with more confidence. And he's in Harry's year. I'm thinking he's a Ravenclaw. But, I don't have a definitive guess yet. They have excellent chemistry and I just cannot wait to see them together again! Their first meeting was pretty much everything I hoped it would be.

I'll be back again tomorrow!

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Review #4, by Jess the Enthusiast 

21st September 2014:
I hope he's a Hufflepuff - really, really, REALLY hope he's a Hufflepuf haha.

Great chapter! I think I like this boy already :)

Author's Response: Haha aww!! Well, you know by now he's not but he definitely has some Hufflepuff kindness and loyalty. :) Thanks so much, I'm excited you like him!

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Review #5, by Teddy1993 

2nd September 2014:
Very nice chapter. The first sentence cr-acked me up for some reason. :) Good introduction for what I as-sume to be one of your main characters. Nice job!

Author's Response: Thank you! This chapter was quite amusing to write and Goyle is so annoying but fun to laugh at through Tor. I'm glad you like the new character so far, and he definitely is quite important for the future. :P

Thanks so much for a great review! I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts!


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Review #6, by Courtney Dark 

19th February 2014:
Tag!

This is definitely my favourite chapter yet!

I was struggling not to burst out laughing through most of it, especially the first half, as it was just so funny! Oh God, Goyle fancying someone...I feel deeply sorry for Tor! Amaris made me laugh in this chapter however, tempting Goyle with cinnamon buns - which I am now craving, thank you very much.

Tor's escape through Hogwarts was also enjoyable to read - and I really like your portrayal of Draco, by the way! And I really like the sound of this secret room! It sounds like the type of place I'd like to hang out.

Who exactly is this mysterious boy, I wonder? Is it a canon character? Or an OC? We know he is in Harry's year, because of his comment about the troll...hmmm...

Well, whoever he is, I like him (a lot more than Goyle) and I hope we see more of him soon!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney! :)

Ah, I'm glad you liked it! :) This chapter made me laugh a lot as well. I suppose Goyle has feelings too, though poor Tor isn't having any of this. :P Ah I want cinnamon buns too! I feel like the Hogwarts elves would make some really amazing ones. :P

I'm glad you like Draco as well! I find him a little tricky to write, especially from the more sympathetic Slytherin perspective, so it's great to get feedback on him.

He's definitely a canon character. :) I guess you'll just have to keep reading and find out! :D He shows up... well, rather a lot in the future, completely upstaging Goyle - for which everyone except Goyle is grateful! :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review!


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Review #7, by MissesWeasley123 

7th October 2013:
DUDE. THIS IS SO AWESOME AND JUST... ♥

I love him. I really do. Tor needs to back off. He's MINE. MINE I SAY, MINE. I love love love him and just.. ahhh.

Okay, inhale exhale Nadia, inhale exhale.

Goyle man, he's so funny because he's so stupid. I love stupid comedy and stupid characters and just LOL he's so stupid and it really makes me laugh.

Tor's mum is hilarious! I thought I loved the prologue.. THIS CHAPTER WAS SO AWESOME AND CAN I PLEASE MARRY THIS KID? He's so dreamy ♥

Hm.. girl with red hair that bumps into Tor.. can it be Ginny Weasley? I wonder...

This is, hands down, the best chapter ever. I have never laughed so much, and this wasn't even a parody. I know, I'm weird. This stirred a lot of my emotions. I felt happy, at the end of it. Just.. so happy! Gah, there's no other word!

I WANT TO MARRY MYSTERIOUS WINKING BOY. TELL ME WHO HE IS. I WANT TO MARRY HIM. ALL THE OTHER GIRLS CAN HAVE MALFOY, GOYLE, NOTT, ZABINI, OR EVEN HARRY. I WANT THIS MYSTERY MAN.

You really showed the funny/girly side of her in this, and I loveeed it. It truly was funny and you give her such a strong personality. She's awesome.

Now I want my own mystery man :(

Anyway Jenna,this is fabulous. I will definitely come back eventually, and not just because you're writing is brilliant as always, but also because this mystery boy seems cute.

Like.. Andrew Garfield cute :D I knew this story was gonna be good when I saw him on your banner... :P

Well written as always m'dear!

Nadia

Author's Response: Hello again lovely!

Haha, this review actually kills me. I'm so happy you lurve him as I do, and he's definitely almost as cute as Andrew Garfield. :P

I'm really glad you found this funny, these early chapters are so light-hearted and I miss them! I love writing Goyle, he is just the dumbest. I always really enjoyed reading about the stupid things Goyle and Crabbe would get up to so writing them is a great time as well.

While Tor goes through a lot of inner turmoil and angst I also quite like writing her as a much younger and more girly and immature version of herself. She is only fourteen at the moment, after all!

Thank you so much for this amazing review, and I'm glad you're sticking with the story! :D


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Review #8, by EnigmaticEyes16 

21st September 2013:
Hahaha, I don't know who this kid is is, but I like him, too. I can't wait to find out who he is. I really enjoyed the conversation between him and Tor and hope they meet up again soon.

This was a really good chapter and I can't wait to read more!

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Hi! Haha, I'm glad you're liking him and the banter between them. It's great that the story is making you want to read more. Thank you so much for the review! :D

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Review #9, by marauderfan 

8th June 2013:
Toss the spitball through Professor Binns lol. I guess you can only get away with that in a class where the teacher doesn't know anyone's names well enough to give them detention! And she almost got away with it. I thought that was funny.

I also like seeing the way other Slytherins see Malfoy. In the books it came across that all Slytherins are mean because Malfoy was mean to Harry, but I like how you've showed that it's not all Slytherins that act that way - it's just Malfoy being awful (and not many of the other Slytherins even like him!)

The part with Tor and the mystery boy is interesting. I was a bit surprised they didn't say what house they were from, or their names, but I kind of liked that. Like it showed that the house isn't really that important for a friendship. And I know it's very easy to get into a long conversation with someone and then realise at the end that you never learned their name. I'm guessing he's a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, in Harry's year obviously. I'd feel badly for him if he were a Ravenclaw because of his fear of heights and living in a tower. And since he didn't mention that I'd say he's a Hufflepuff. Justin maybe? (after all he was reading Muggle books. Good choice on the books btw ;) )

(Also, I thought Tor's parents' owl had a different name several chapters ago.)

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again! :) I know, poor Professor Binns! Tor was just having an awful day, so of course he had to pick that moment to become aware of what was going on!

I'm glad you like the Slytherins, and the portrayal of Malfoy. You're right, he's really a pretty awful guy at the moment, and there's a lot of rivalry and general dislike that occurs between the Slytherins themselves. Though some of them are quite ordinary, and not as consumed with prejudice and bullying as Malfoy and his crowd.

I'm glad you liked the conversation with the mystery boy! And yes, they just kind of jumped into this strange conversation, but things will be revealed soon enough. I'm glad you liked his choice in books, I definitely approve as well! :) As for his identity, well you'll find out soon enough!

Ah, I'll double-check on the owl front. Thanks for pointing that out, and for another thoughtful review! :D


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Review #10, by Calypso  

3rd June 2013:
Hello!

Oh Tor's Mum does make me laugh! I love how businesslike she is about Goyle's little crush, although I am feeling very sorry for Astoria as a result of it all! It also made me laugh how all the other Slytherins seemed determined to get them together! Somehow I don't think Amaris is Tor's favourite person at the moment.

One of my favourite things about this chapter is how you included all the little Hogwarts-y details that make the school so wonderful in the books- the helpful portrait, the secret room, the Arachne Orchid, the talking suit of armour. It makes the story so rich and vivid.

Ooh and could this be Tor's muggleborn?! He certainly seems very intriguing, and quite mysterious too... From what I've seen of him, I definitely like him though- he seems like a pretty cool guy! I liked the conversation they had together too, how they got on so well, even though they hadn't known each other long. The secrets thing was a nice way of letting them get to know each other a bit. He seems like a complete contrast not just with Goyle, but with that whole Slytherin gang- I'll be interested to see how his relationship with Astoria develops!
I thought you wrote that bit really well. It was so un-over-the-top, and simple, and understated, but none the less emotional for it.

Another brilliant chapter! Great job!

-Bethany

By the way, I forgot to say in my last review, but I love your new banner!

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

I'm glad you liked Tor's mum, and we do get to meet her in person eventually! She's very cold and cynical with occasional bursts of warmth, and entertaining to imagine. I agree, poor Tor! It's not her fault she was nice to Goyle and he got a crush on her, and everyone laughing at her and encouraging him certainly isn't helping. But of course running away from Goyle does send her into the secret room, so maybe she should be thanking him! :P

Ah, I'm glad you liked those details! :) Imagining Tor's awful day within the Hogwarts world is very fun to write.

I'm glad you liked the conversation with the boy, and that he seems like a cool guy so far! You're right, he is quite different from the general Slytherin mentality, which is often just what Tor needs! I'm glad you enjoyed it, as I really wanted to get it right and make the interaction natural and believable.

Thank you for another wonderful review!! :D And I love the banner too! Those TDA artists are just fantastic, aren't they? :)


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Review #11, by Broken Butterfly 

20th May 2013:
Oh Lordy. Poor Tor! Just ewww, I mean Goyal of all people, gross! And then her mother says that she should be dating him,. how humiliating! Great introduction to the mysterious boy, in the secret room. The plot is moving along very well, and so is characterization. Can't wait to see what happens next.
BB

Author's Response: Hi! I agree, Tor definitely deserves someone better and who can keep up with her. I couldn't help but feel at least a little sorry for Goyle, though! :P I'm so happy you're enjoying the story, and meeting the mysterious boy. Lots more of him in the future! :) Thank you so much for this review!

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Review #12, by nott theodore 

19th May 2013:
Back again! :D

I think this would probably have to be my favourite chapter so far. I really enjoyed all the conversation you wrote and the interactions between all the characters, and I'm growing to love Tor more and more as a protagonist.

You have a brilliant start to the chapter with that line about Goyle: "Is he even smart enough to fancy someone?" I couldn't help laughing at it, and the CI fits in really well - I think that's possibly the creepiest picture I've ever seen of Goyle! I can totally understand why Tor doesn't want to go out with him and the reasons she's trying to avoid him, but I actually (surprisingly) found myself feeling sorry for him when I was reading this chapter. He puts so much effort into looking presentable and finding her, just for her to run away!

I found myself feeling sorry for Tor in the first half of this chapter as well. Her day sounds really awful, especially with Goyle making advances on her and then having to watch Theo and his girlfriend (there's definitely a bit of a crush there, but it'll be interesting to see what happens now she's met this other guy). I love the idea of conjuring magical cupids to prank and tease the annoying lovebirds!

And of course, the introduction of the muggle born! It's him, right? It has to be! You were really clever here, not telling us his name. But I'm very intrigued to find out who he is, especially since he's in Harry's year. He's obviously not in Slytherin, because Tor would have known who he is, and he doesn't seem like Dean Thomas, so I'm guessing he's in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Argh, I really want to know who he is!

I really enjoyed reading all the conversation between them. This muggleborn's a very likeable character at this point! I wonder if Tor would have been so open with him had she known that he was actually a muggleborn? But I like the idea of the two of them just telling a random stranger something nobody else knew. I have a feeling there was some definite foreshadowing going on in that conversation, though, like the Seer who had told the guy he'd do well in his NEWTs IF he got the chance to write them. It doesn't bode well already, and that makes me a little sad. I'm looking forward to seeing their relationship develop, though!

Once again, another thing I love here is the thought and detail you put into this chapter. Even the fact that they have the magnificent owl is almost like a way of showing off the superiority of their family in comparison to others; the letter was also interesting. The way that Tor's mother is encouraging her to consider Goyle because he'd be a good marriage is so weird, because she can't be more than 15 here, and that's far too young to think about marriage!

There was also the little details like the book that the muggleborn was reading, kind of singling him out as that. The whole Slytherin and pureblood supremacy was emphasised through this line as well: "Is he a Slytherin? Heís handsome enough to be."

I just have one Britpick in this chapter:
"Heís taller than I am, but only by a couple inches." -- a couple of inches

Another great chapter, and I'll be back as soon as I can to read on!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello there! This review was such a lovely surprise! :)

I'm really happy you're enjoying the story, and that this was a favourite chapter! I like it too, and it was very entertaining to write, though Tor might not thank me for it. I totally agree about the CI as well! Ah, poor Goyle... I do feel a little sorry for him as well, and he certainly deserves to be happy with somebody, but Tor just doesn't want to be that person!

Oh, I'm so glad you liked the conversation with the Muggleborn! Their interactions are really fun to write, since they're so playful and comfortable with each other and really get along well. And yes, I am a fan of writing not-too-subtle foreshadowing! :P

That's very true about Tor being far too young to consider getting married, and I think her mother just knows how impressionable she is and doesn't want her daughter mixing in with the wrong crowd, at least from the pureblood perspective.

Thank you so much for another lovely review, I really loved it!!! :D


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Review #13, by Siriusly89 

14th April 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here with your very, very, very late review. I am so sorry! I really am! Please donít be too mad!

Anyway, Iím here, reviewing!

Ahahaha, ĎIs he even smart enough to fancy someone?í-pure genius. And itís only the second line.

Couldnít Amaris and Goyle get together and leave poor Astoria be? Hey! Thereís a plan, set those two up, and leave Astoria free for the charming muggleborn, who is making his debut in this chapter, if Iím not mistaken?

Wow. Remind me to never get on Astoriaís bad side. That girl has a sharp tongue!

Ahh, youíve got to love Goyle and his desperate attempts to talk to poor Tor, I almost feel bad for him. Almost. I would never inflict him on poor Tor, but maybe he could find love with someone? Donít leave the poor bloke alone anyway.

AH! THE MUGGLEBORN! Heís the guy in the room, isnít he, if heís not, then Iíll eat my hat (metaphorically of course, I donít think I own a hat) but anyway.

The conversation is really, endearing! He is just a real charmer, and you can see Tor falling for it hook, line, and sinker. Although she probably has a few tricks up her sleeve, so we wonít write her off just yet.

The pug, named Pansy, has to be the best part. No objections. The best.

Again, many, many apologies on the lateness of this review, but do feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Haha that's perfectly okay! I'm glad that you liked the Goyle-bashing, although I do agree that it gets a little harsh. Although his unrequited crush on Astoria is very hopeless, and he should probably catch a hint!

Hmm, Goyle and Amaris getting together, that's an idea! It would solve some problems, anyway!

I'm glad you liked the conversation between Astoria and the Muggleborn, I think they're very sweet together!!! No need to eat your poor hat, you were right :P Also, the pug named Pansy sealed the deal for Tor I'm pretty sure. Not only that he has a pug, but shares her dislike of mean old Pansy!

Thank you so much for reviewing!!! :) I will be very happy to re-request!!



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Review #14, by AHeat 

15th March 2013:
Oooh... really like this new character!
Fun stuff! Can't wait to keep reading :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like him :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #15, by marauder5 

4th March 2013:
Nice chapter! Tor and Goyle is a pretty funny sub plot, but I definitely think she made the right choice when she turned him down. She's too intelligent for him.

This new guy is interesting, though. I wonder what house he's in - I guess it's not Slytherin because I guess that this is the muggle-born that Tor will fall in love with - the one from the first chapter. Their interactions were funny and I look forward to reading the rest.

Perhaps I should respond to your last question as well. Conjuring up magical cupids? The perfect prank for teasing two lovebirds. Nice! Tor is obviously jealous of Theo's girlfriend. What a mess. She wants Theo, Goyle wants her and now there's this new guy...

Author's Response: I definitely agree! Tor deserves someone who really gets her, but maybe Goyle will find love someday. Thanks again so much for reading and reviewing :D

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