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17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by protego_totalum 

31st January 2016:
I'm really enjoying this story so far! You are a really talented writer. All your characters are really interesting too. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Review #2, by dreamgazer220 

11th August 2015:
So four chapters in and I figured it was time for a review! I wanted to let you know how good this is- I started reading it this weekend, and I was hooked by chapter 1. I haven't read fanfiction in a long time, but this story jumped out at me on the homepage. I love seeing another side to the Slytherins, and you're doing a great job keeping true to characters and also shedding some light into their lives. I know this story is complete, but keep up the good work anyway!

Author's Response: Hello!! :D Thank you so much for the reviews, and I'm so pleased you like the story!! All your kind words mean so much to me, and I'm glad you're reading it and getting immersed in the characters. You're awesome!! :D

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Review #3, by Liana 

30th January 2015:
How hysterical that they are the Association of Slytherin Students. I'm surprised you were able to use the initials in the story. If I use anything close to an objectionable word I get a warning.

Author's Response: Hi again! :) I was able to use the initials because I have the 'Contains Profanity' warning on my story and it fulfills a certain rating - there are guidelines about which words we're allowed to use in the Terms of Service. Hehe, I thought it was quite funny as well. Thanks for reviewing! :D

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Review #4, by Secret Santa ;D 

20th December 2014:
Day four!

It's hilarious to me that Goyle Sr. would be the butt of the joke amongst her parents for some reason. It kind of makes the Death Eaters seem like a high school clique and he's that guy that kind of tags along, but no one *really* likes him. Death Eaters are so funny to think of in light contexts, which is why the Voldemort jokes from before worked so well!

I enjoyed the insistence that Tor could possibly belong in a house other than Slytherin. Of course, knowing that she eventually falls in love with someone she'd hate at this point of the story, she certainly does doubt her house or at least the seemingly popular ideology of it at the time. I like that Tor had a choice in her sorting as it gives the feeling of a parallel experience to Harry's which are always great to read about.

Another wonderful tie-in to canon here in which Tor suspects that Draco may be making fun of her, when we know that he's making fun of Harry.

Kitten cruelty is such an effective way of establishing that a character is Bad. That's got to be up there in terms of character defining things.

'because of dangerous students like Harry Potter' love this point of view, that boy gets into such hazardous situations.

Seeing all of the various uses of the Room of Requirement in fics is actually a large part of why I sought out harry potter fanfiction in the first place. This Slytherin meeting is an amazingly clever way to go about things. It's so cool that they had their own use for the RoR that sort of mirrored the DA, but for basically the exact opposite purpose. I've never seen this idea used anywhere else before!

Slimy is an awesome way of describing a smile. I'm curious about this small blond girl. The name of the group is PRICELESS. Goyle trying to flirt is actually quite pathetic.

Theodore Nott always seems to fascinate me, no matter which story he's in. The look into his mind here is great! I just so enjoy his relationship with Tor and I kind of wish they'd get together, although I'm sure that'll change once I meet this yet-unknown Mugglegborn. Great chapter!

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Review #5, by Jess the Enthusiast 

21st September 2014:
Oh I like Theo so much! I almost wish that this was a romance between Tor and Theo, but I'm sure once I'm introduced to the muggle-born love interest, I'll change my mind. Great chapter!!

Author's Response: Hello again!! Hehe, a lot of readers said they were originally shipping Tor with Theo at this point. She kind of idealizes him right now, though they both are subject to a lot of changes.

Thanks so much for another sweet review!! :)


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Review #6, by Teddy1993 

17th August 2014:
Your're right that not much has happened at this point in the story, but it's only the fourth chapter after all. I'm sure there's plenty to come, as you have already uploaded so many chapters. The story seems to be very promising to me, having read this first few chapters and I think you chose a very interesting main character. Great work so far!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, looking back I can definitely see how these early chapters were necessary for all the action to unfold, especially in the later chapters as the wizarding world becomes more tumultuous. I'm so pleased you like the story so far, thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! :D


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Review #7, by Courtney Dark 

19th December 2013:
Tag!

I'm really enjoying reading this story! I really love reading from the point of view of a character who is not exactly good. I mean, Tor definitely has some good, honest, likeable qualities about her - like how she rescued that cat and has a good sense of humour - but, like you just mentioned, she has this huge pureblood mania going on, and obviously thinks that what Voldemort is doing is right. I loved how you included the portraits of the Death Eaters in this chapter - it really showed just how 'for' the whole pureblood thing Tor is.

I loved your descriptions of Griselda Goyle! This bit: 'The Sorting Hat took a long time deciding, and Iím convinced the Hat knew she wasnít smart enough to belong at Hogwarts at all' especially, made me laugh. And I love the nickname for the Association of Slytherin Students, haha! Trust Pyxis to be the one to point out what it spells in short form!

Oh god, that conversation with Goyle! Tor's reactions to everything that he said made me laugh, and I love her inner voice - it's a great mix of humourous, serious and informative.

I can't wait to read more!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you're enjoying it! I really enjoy reading and writing about characters who have a darker side, and I'm glad to show that variety and complexity in her character. I'm so pleased you liked the addition of the portraits as well, I thought they would be interesting if a little terrifying to have watching you. :P

Haha, poking some fun at Griz is one of Tor's vices, though Griz herself isn't very nice either. Both of them can be a little cruel! Ah yes the name was just Pyxis (and me, by association) being a little immature, but also to show how ridiculous Draco and co. are.

Goyle is just so funny, though I do feel a little sorry for the guy. In this story, at least. It's great to know you like her voice and find her interesting and a little humorous- I really enjoy writing her!

Thanks for this lovely review! :D


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Review #8, by MissesWeasley123 

27th September 2013:
The Association of Slytherin Students is absolute genius. Nuff said.

Also, I had a total rolling-on-the-floor-laughing moment when I read "Grizelda Goyle" I don't know why.. maybe because Grizelda looked a lot like Gorilla. I shall now shall her that forever.

Godzilla or is that pushing it? Okay fine, Gorilla it is..

Your chapters just keep on getting better and better, and I'm only at the beginning! I really liked the characterization of Gorilla and Goyle in this, it sounds very correct. You do Draco flawlessly once again.

I think Pyx is very Ron Weasley also haha. ...and he seems very dreamy hehe.. I can't wait for more on him. I really like the Nott brothers though, and Taurus seems dreamy too... YOUR MALE OCS ARE SO AWESOME.

I needed to get that out of the system.

Tor's such a great narrator too, and yeah. Great works as always!

Author's Response: Hi! :) Haha, I thought so. Not Malfoy's finest moment.

That nickname fits her perfectly, and it pretty much how I imagine her looking... and acting. Griz is such an obnoxious character and nemesis but I love writing her mean antics.

I'm glad you think the canon Slytherins are sounding right, and that you like the OCs! :)

Thanks so much for another great review! :)


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Review #9, by EnigmaticEyes16 

19th August 2013:
Hi again! Sorry I haven't been reviewing much as I've been reading through these chapters. Anyway, I liked the insight into Tor's sorting and how the hat thinks she'll eventually doubt her house. I wonder where it wanted to put her, I think Gryffindor.

The scene with Malfoy and the Association of Slytherin Students was interesting. And while I understand the need or feeling for them to need to stick together, I think it's weird that Malfoy would ask them for help. I thought he was very secretive about it in the book so it just seems odd to me that he'd want someone else's help, he seems too proud for it. Although I'm not surprised by his bragging about it. That is so Draco.

I am a little curious to know if there will be something romantic happening between Tor and Theo at any point. Tor does seem to have a bit of a crush but I don't know if he feels the same way.

Anyhow, I think you're doing a great job with this story. The next chapter sounds interesting so I hope to get to that soon.

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Hello! :) That's perfectly alright, I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far, or at least enough to read on! I'm a little self-conscious about these early chapters, so getting positive feedback is very encouraging for me.

I'm glad you found the scene with the group interesting. I agree, Malfoy isn't really the teamwork type, I imagined him more lording his new power over the others before realizing what the real implications and dangers for being a Death Eater are. He's a slippery character, but I do enjoy writing him in this story! :)

You're right, Tor does have a little crush on him, doesn't she? :P As for if anything happens between them, you'll just have to keep reading and find out, but Theo is certainly a very important character in the story!

Thank you so much for following this story and taking the time to leave a lovely review! I hope that you enjoy the next chapter if you do get a chance to read on. :)


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Review #10, by Illuminate 

14th June 2013:
Hi! Review Tag again!

The chapters are just getting better and better! This was a great reason to develop characterisations and get the story kickstarted.

I've never read a story about Slytherins before, at least not in the POV of a Slytherin. It's very interesting to read a story where the main character actually supports Voldemort and is not actually insane or crazed (well, as sane as you can be if you support him xD). Her feelings towards the Dark Lord and Muggleborns seem so organic and just a part of her, just a belief she has. It's so interesting to see that, in fact, there are families on both sides of the War that are affected by Voldemort, not just Muggleborns and the side of good :) It's written very subtly, and I like that :)

I'm liking the romance you brought in at the end. That, too, is subtle, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it (don't think the boy in the prologue is Theo, so very interested for that character to be introduced if he isn't!). You write secret longing very well indeed, very true to life. I also like your use of her Legilimency, it seems like such a useful skill to have xD

All in all, great writing, great chapter :D

Author's Response: Hi! :) I'm so happy to see you back!

I'm really happy you're liking the story so far, and have made it past the slightly rough (in my opinion) first chapters! I'm glad you like Tor and the Slytherin POV of the story: I really enjoy writing this in Hogwarts era to show the other side of the conflict. I'm glad you like the balance of good and evil, and how the families of the DE are negatively affected as well.

Haha, well you'll just have to keep reading! :) Tor definitely has some secret longing going on for Theo, and it does get addressed very frequently in the story. I'm glad you also like the addition of the Legilimency skill, it is unique and a fun characteristic to incorporate! :)

Thank you for another lovely review, my dear! :D


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Review #11, by marauderfan 

8th June 2013:
Ok. The best part of this chapter was clearly Malfoy's name for his group. You'd think he could come up with something better! And it's funny how Tor thinks Malfoy is a slimy git, given that she ends up marrying him! ;) I also really like the wizard lullaby.

And regarding your A/N: I wouldn't worry about there not being a lot of plot yet. You're still setting the scene, which understandably takes time as we don't know much about the Slytherins really, since the books are from Harry's pov. So it's nice to get an inside look at how Slytherin house functions before lots of things start happening.

Author's Response: Hello again! I know, how ridiculous is that name! I never really saw him as the witty or creative type, however! I really wanted to avoid the fan fiction habit of making Malfoy into a hunky, sensitive heart-throb overnight: at this point in the HP books he's still a slimy git, as you so perfectly put it, and that extends to his treatment of the other Slytherins! Especially since he wants them to respect him, and they're all quite competitive with each other. And I'm glad you appreciate the lullaby! :P

I'm glad you think the plot is progressing well, that's really reassuring to hear! I enjoy writing the Slytherins, but agree that it's difficult to get the plot flowing without setting the scene first and establishing the characters, especially for me as the writer!

Thank you very much for another thoughtful, lovely review! :D


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Review #12, by Calypso  

24th May 2013:
Review Tag!

I really enjoyed that little insight into Tor's sorting... It was interesting to see a more innocent side of her, and the she addressed the Hat as "Mister" was really too sweet! I liked that there was some equivocalness about her House (I can actually sort of see her as a Gryffindor, somehow) and the foreshadowing about her doubting her house... Very intriguing!

And I do love a grandstanding Slytherin :P It's strange to think of that Slytherin gang using the Room of Requirement to plot Harry and Dumbledore's downfall when we see so much of Harry using it for the opposite purpose in the books, but I suppose that's what I'm enjoying so much about this story- seeing everything from another point of view.

The only thing I wasnít quite sure about was the part in the Room of Requirement when everyone was drinking... I don't know, it seemed a little incongruous considering the seriousness of the meeting...

I also liked the character development of the Goyle siblings, and then Theo. Demetria and Griz sound like they could make dangerous enemies...
The fireside scene with Theo was really touching as well- you brought across the intimacy of it really well. I imagine her relationship with Theo could be interesting, considering how close he seems to Draco at the meeting...

I really enjoyed this chapter- you've done a great job of continuing existing plot strands and also raising some intriguing questions!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad to see you back!

I'm glad you liked the Sorting, I feel like it's an essential part of any young wizard's time at Hogwarts! That's an interesting point, I can see her as a Gryffindor as well! She just doesn't express her brave and loyal characteristics often enough. I'm glad you liked the foreshadowing as well, though sometimes I worry I spend too much time writing foreshadowing and not enough time writing plot! :P

I'm glad you like seeing the opposite perspective of what's going on at Hogwarts! I agree about the drinking, it does seem a little out of place. I guess I was trying to show how they act both like serious, dedicated adults, but also like irresponsible teenagers, and are trying to find some happy medium and reconciliation?

I'm glad you're enjoying the development of the other Slytherins as well, they're a lot of fun to imagine and bring to life. Demetria and Griz are very questionable, indeed!

Thank you very much for reviewing! :)


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Review #13, by Broken Butterfly 

14th May 2013:
This was a really interesting chapter, I especially enjoyed the part about the sorting and Griz Goyal, what a witch she is. So mean, good writing there. Keep it up, I may cheat soon and read through to the end.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and learning a little more about Griz. You're right, she really isn't the sweetest! :P Thank you for the positive feedback, it really means a lot to me, and you are very welcome to keep reading!! :)

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Review #14, by nott theodore 

12th May 2013:
Tag!

You really don't need to be worried about these chapters not having much action in them because I've found them all compelling and I'm never bored - I just want to read on. I think you're developing the characters and the plot well, and sometimes that works a lot better than throwing the reader right into the action (which you kind of did in the prologue anyway).

Tor's sorting was really interesting! The idea of the hat warning her about how her choice might affect her future is very intriguing - that hat seems to be all-knowing. I know she was worried about being put into Hufflepuff but from the qualities the hat saw in her, I could actually see her going into Gryffindor. I wonder how the introduction of the mysterious muggle-born from the prologue is going to change her.

I really enjoy the tie-ins with the books that you keep including in this story, such as Draco miming passing out and the references to the past year with Umbridge.

Another thing I enjoyed in this chapter was the insight we got into the other Slytherins. You've managed to make them all very vivid characters, even those you've only described in a few lines. I know we're seeing them all through Tor's eyes, but quite a few of them seem horrible - Grizelda and Demetria especially! I liked the idea of Goyle having a sister and her looking the same as him from the back. I also think this was the most I've ever seen Goyle talk in any story!

I don't really blame Tor for finding the name of the organisation funny - I wouldn't be able to stop laughing! But I like the idea of the organisation of Slytherin students to support Voldemort. You got the characterisation there exactly right, especially with Malfoy and the way he sees himself above all the others there, even though they're all inherently superior to the majority of the students in the school.

And also, thank you so much for explaining how they know about the Room of Requirement! There are so many stories that imply everyone knows about it without any explanation about how, so I was happy to see it here! The detail about the portraits of Death Eaters on the walls was very effective, too.

Tor definitely has a bit of a crush on Theo, but I think that maybe she was reading more into the hand-holding at the end that was actually there? He probably sees her as a younger sister - and anyway, she's got the mysterious muggle-born to meet!

Another great chapter, and I look forward reading the next one!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Awesome, I'm really glad to know that they're not too passive of chapters! It's good to hear you think the characters are developing well and at a good pace.

I liked writing her sorting- it's such a pivotal moment in every Hogwarts student's life! I think she would be a good Gryffindor as well, though she of course wanted Slytherin. The fact that these kids almost choose their houses showed for me how much they base their identities and self-worth around the house.

I'm glad you liked the references to the books! :) It's fun to play around with canon and imagine what was going on with other characters at the time of these events.

I love writing the Slytherins! Some of them are so nasty, and I've had to remind myself to give them some good qualities as well. Goyle's sister in particular plays a bigger role in the future chapters, and she's actually become part of my headcanon! And yes, Goyle does get a bit of time in the spotlight.

Yay, I'm glad you liked the idea of the secret organization as well (and the name!). Malfoy is definitely still at that point where he's arrogant and sees himself as better than the others, even though he's not much of a leader.

Thank you for another lovely review, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story! :)



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Review #15, by Siriusly89 

26th March 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here with your requested review! Sorry itís taken so long!

Ah, Grizelda just sounds like a right charmer doesnít she? I never thought of Goyle having a sister, so this makes a nice edition!

The hat warning Astoria was also rather intriguing. And then poor Astoria thinking Draco was making fun of her with the whole Ďfake-pass-outí thing, when really he was making fun of Harry (which is still not okay, but better than him picking on my lilí Tori!)

Awh! The sotry of how Astoria came to acquire Guinevere was really cute! And Grizís little Ďadventureí with the kitten has seriously turned me off the girl for life. And that other one, Demetria. Both need to receive a lesson on how to treat animals! Pronto!

The little snipe at Harry Potter was very funny! The reason students needed a curfew wasnít because of a mass-murderer, it was because of him! I love the little tibit of humour in this! It really brings it to life.

Ah! The secret organisation is called ĎASSí! I donít blame Astoria for laughing, although it probably wasnít the wisest thing to do.

And Goyle is such a creep! He needs to back off, because right now I am shipping Astoria and Theo, although I know thereís still the introduction of the muggleborn (still really want to know who he is!)

Anyway, another really good chapter! Sorry I canít read any more of it at the moment, but please feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, and I'm glad you liked the chapter:)

Griz is pretty awful, I've been trying to give her some sort of redeeming quality but the cruelty to animals just cinched her as horrible! I've been thinking of her and Demetria as sort of foils to Tor, but then again it is only written through her eyes, so many they have some sort of good in them that she just hasn't noticed yet.

I'm glad the humour is showing through, there just isn't enough time in the day to be serious about everything, even in war time :P

And as cute as Theo and Tor would be, I personally think she's even better with the mysterious Muggleborn! Thank you again for another awesome review. Id love to hear your thoughts on the following chalter because it takes another angle, so I'll definitely be re-requesting!!! :)


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Review #16, by AHeat 

15th March 2013:
I really like the tie-ins to the books. It's nice to have a different story that is in conjunction with the original books rather than completely going off the rails.

Author's Response: Glad you like the parallels with the HP books! I'm trying to complement the books as possible: if I get an idea that wasn't in the books, I ask myself if its plausible that it could have happened and just wasn't mentioned. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #17, by marauder5 

28th February 2013:
Their meeting was really interesting. It's so weird to read this from their point of view, because they're the bad guys. But like I said, very interesting, and it makes me want to read more.

I do think Tor and Theo are just friends, but it seemed to be a bit more going on at the end of this chapter. Who knows? I'll have to wait and see. I look forward to reading the rest of this story. Good job! And if you're worried that not much has happened, don't be. I've never been bored so far, and reading about her childhood and family sounds intriguing. It's always interesting to find out why people are the way they are.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your comments! I'm glad you like reading about Tor's past, those are probably my favourite parts to write haha :)

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