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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Justżna ČadanovŠ-Czech 

12th July 2017:
Yayy finally :-) love your writing and love this chapter :-) you're awesome

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!

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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
For a second I thought something steamy was going down.

Ha!

I think this was part filler, part the tables are turning on the dark side of things. Clearly they're still at school living their lives so little moments like this, Quidditch, injuries, fleeting conversations are necessary but man sometimes I just wish what was going on, on the other end.

But in your viewpoint. Although I'm sure it's just muggle hating and torture so you wouldn't be able to write 40 chapters on that. I'm getting sidetracked.

Bellatrix is a sicko. She really is. She makes my skin crawl. I think she would have married the Dark Lord if he ever needed to get married. Or she would bare his children if he ever needed children. And that just grosses me out my lunch might come back up.

Shudders to think of the two of them romantically.

I liked how Lily made her decision. It took a small push from her friends but I think she was getting there on her own anyway. Finally though, Lily and James are together. I've realized the focus has sort of shifted from everyone else to them and I guess that's to be expected. Would be nice to see little interactions with Sirius/Belle. I'm sure she's going to tell Sirius her secret soon. Or even more Alice/Frank/Moody.

I just have an Alice/Frank obsession that needs to be filled. You've given me an idea for a one-shot. Shame on you!

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Review #3, by nott theodore 

15th August 2013:
Review 800! Yay, I'm so happy that I'm the one to write this for you! ♥

It really made me smile to see Sirius teasing Lily about kissing James. Even if they had decided to keep it secret, there's no way that the rest of the group wouldn't have found out at some point, and they're obviously going to tease them about it - Sirius especially!

Aw, I love William and Olivia so much! I hope you meant it when you said you'd be keeping them around for as long as possible. The way they treated the group seemed so natural, and they're just so sweet. When Alrek arrived and started asking about the training that Alice was doing I started getting a bit worried, because it can't be good for the Death Eaters to know that both she and Frank are already at the level of second year trainees! I was also nervous about him meeting the Potters too, because I thought that it might give him more information, but I'm pleased that the Potters seemed to be on their guard when they met him and were a bit suspicious!

I was actually really surprised that James kissed Lily in front of everyone before the match, but it was actually really sweet - like she was his good luck charm. I'm pleased that she has such good friends in Alice and Belle, though, and at least they're making her realise that she does want to date James! And then Belle has said she'll tell Sirius soon, and I'm really excited for that happening.

Oh no! Oh no, Alrek knows about the wedding! As soon as they mentioned it in front of him and he started casually asking questions I got worried, and now I'm getting the feeling that he's taking notes and something bad might happen around that time. They'll want to attack when they're vulnerable - is this going to be one of the times that they defy Voldemort? Gah, don't make me so nervous for these characters, Jami!

Frank's commentary on the game really made me laugh! I can definitely see elements of Neville in him, it's just that Neville suffered growing up because of what happened to poor Frank and Alice.

Bella's back! Every single time she appears I get goosebumps but I'm oddly fascinated at the same time. I was really interested by the introduction of Karkaroff in this chapter - I wondered at first if he'd been of help in recruiting Alrek, but I'm not sure if he actually was since Voldemort seemed to be in his home as a punishment. Bellatrix's jealousy at first when she thought he was there as a reward was so realistic and in character, and I thought you wrote her feelings wonderfully.

So, I was right about the wedding and Alrek? No, I really didn't want to be - I feel like I'm guessing far too many things right in this story and that's actually quite sad because half of it is things I don't want to happen! The letter confused me a bit at first because although I understood the parts about the project and the extra project, the bit about the first of December made me think that it wasn't about the wedding after all.

But then I liked Bella's explanation about it and the way that she had been working on the plan and getting Alrek to find out information is so clever that I have to admire it. Now that we know Bellatrix was the one who attacked poor Beowulf I'm actually not that surprised about the amount of curses that she attacked the owl with - Bella is never someone who does something by halves, is she?

It was so creepy when Voldemort decided he was pleased with her work and wanted to congratulate her. The way that he knelt beside her and she was so happy actually gave me chills! But the reward was both horrible and completely consistent with Voldemort and Bellatrix's characters; we know from the books that she loves torturing just for fun and has spent a lot of time doing it. If the Death Eaters can be so awful to one of their own then it's no wonder about the torture they inflicted on others. I'm seriously getting worried about what's going to happen at the wedding!

Aw, James waking up after the injury was quite cute - the way it was written really conveyed his confusion and the fact that he'd got injured doing some crazy move in a quidditch game doesn't surprise me at all, it's so like his son! It made me laugh when he thought that Lily was in his room in the morning when Professor McGonagall was actually there to witness it - it's just the sort of thing that would happen to him! I'm pleased that Gryffindor won, even if James got injured.

Oh, I got so excited when Alice decided to take control and tell Sirius that Belle wanted to talk to her - I'm hoping that we get to see that in the next chapter because I'm really so excited to witness that talk. I'm not sure what Sirius' reaction will be and it's clear that at the moment he has absolutely no idea what she's going to tell him, but I'm excited for it anyway!

Aw, and that ending! Even with all this danger threatening them, you're giving me so many Lily/James feels in these chapters at the moment! I love the fact that she was the one who stayed, and that James was so happy because of it. And now she's finally decided that she's ready to try a relationship!! I'm so happy for them and I have such a massive grin all over my face now. Thank you, Jami!!

Sian :)

Author's Response: My brain is not functioning or something, because this is the second review I've had all ready to go then clicked 'cancel' instead of preview!

ANYWAY!

Yes, I am totally keeping Olivia and William around as long as possible! Since we know they die of an old age related disease, I want to make it s that, though it'll be sad when they go, it will also be time. If that makes sense. I'm so happy that you're still liking them, and that you were suspicious of Alrek finding out a little more than we're comfortable with!

I feel like everyone needs a friend like Alice. She's so sweet and loving, but she's also not going to let you hide from your feelings. I think that's my favorite part about her. And yes! Alrek knows about the wedding! *evil cackle*

I'm so excited that you liked Bellatrix's section. I get worried that I make hers feel repetitive, which is what gave me the idea of bringing karkaroff into this one, so please let me know if you ever feel like that about hers!

I'm probably a little more pleased than I should be at the idea that having her pop up gives you goose bumps... mwahah.

I can't tell you what's going to happen at the wedding! But am insanely excited to see what you think of it, hehe!

I felt like I was stepping into a bit of cliche territory with the hospital scene, but it just felt so appropriate! And having Lily be the one to finally take a big step forward and show her affection for James in front of the team felt like a big move for her, so I'm really thrilled that you liked that section!

Aww hahah Sian, I am so, so happy you're still liking this and that I can give you a big grin with lots of J and L feels! I can't even tell you how much all these reviews have meant to me. You're going to give me a big head :P but responding to them has seriously made my day, and really made me want to carve out some time to finish chapter 2 of ADD!

I feel like these responses aren't even halfway adequate to tell you how much I appreciate the time you're spending on BTF, but you've left me here in a smiley puddle of feels, so THANK YOU ♥


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Review #4, by Courtney Dark 

1st May 2013:
Oooh, this was yet another great chapter - and James' parents made a reappearance, which was awesome. They seem like such amazing people, and seem to have made children out of James, Sirius, Lily and all James' other friends, actually. I quite like the fact that Frank was a bit embarrassed when James' mother hugged him - Augusta has never seemed particularly affectionate to me, especially when you think about Neville's upbringing. Perhaps that is why he and Alice seem to be quite...closed off for lack of a better word.

I liked the fact that James' parents seemed to suspect there was something off about Alrek - after all, they are ex-Aurors and clearly haven't lost their touch. I am quite surprised they are nearing eighty, but I guess witches and wizards tend to live to an older age than muggles. And Alrek is really starting to get on my nerves, with all his prying!

Frank was an awesome commentator! He kind of reminded me of Lee Jordan, in the way that he was completely biased when it came to Gryffindor bs Slytherin and some of his comments (and McGonagall's reactions) were very funny. I can definitely imagine Frank as a commentator, actually.

I actually liked the fact that you didn't write about the whole match and split up the action with a little piece from Bellatrix's point of view, because your Bellatrix is awesome. Alrek's letter was very well done, and I think you wrote Voldemort, and Bellatrix's reactions to him, super well. I really liked that you included Karkaroff in this chapter, too, and that even at this stage, he didn't seem to be the ideal Death Eater.

The Hospital Wing scene was a nice way to end that chapter - I actually love how both Lily and James are so hesitant with each other, and how James' frustration came through when the rest of the team came in and his talk with Lily was interrupted. Alice was great, too, trying to get both Belle and Sirius and Lily and James to talk.

I am looking forward to upcoming chapters even more now!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: I think your evaluation of why Frank and Alice are sort of reserved is so perfect. Augusta isn't a warm person, and for Frank it's hard for him to be affectionate in front of other people when he just didn't see that much. Not that he doesn't make it clear to Alice that he cares about her, but he just isn't incredibly open about it.

I'm so happy you liked William and Olivia in this chapter! And I know, I don't love them being that old either. But JKR said that James's parents died of old age/natural cause, and they died before Harry was orphaned, and they had him 'late' in life. So with what we know about wizard ages and how long they live, 80s seemed appropriate. Still though, I like imagining them in their fifties a lot more :P

Quidditch is not my forte. Haha. I thought at least if I was going to cheat everyone out of a match, I could at least do a nice little Bellatrix scene :P.

I'm really happy you liked the hospital scene. I know I can be frustrating with how slow I move them, but I hope this was a nice way to speed things up, hehe.

♥ Jami


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Review #5, by patronus_charm 

18th March 2013:
Hey Jami! I have this week, and then one more after that and then itís the Easter Holidays, and I canít wait, even though Iíll probably end up spending most of it revisingÖ.

I loved the appearance of Jamesí parents; theyíre such cool people, so whenever I appear Iím happy! Then of course Sirius had to make that comment about James getting lucky, it was just so him as of course he would be the one to come out with something like that because I doubt he could miss an opportunity to embarrass James! I did spot a minor typo here Ė ĎFrankís ears turned bright read,í, I think you meant red :)

So Frank is a commentator? I can imagine him being one for some reason! I liked how Olivia and William seemed rather suspicious of Alrek though. You could tell that he was trying to dig for information by the way he seemed determined to find out what the training really was about, and he tried to as if it was something innocuous, to hopefully find out the truth. Haha I liked the part about Mrs Potter being the secret gambler, I never would have imagined that she would have been like that, but it suits her for some reason!

Thank god me and Alice are on the same wavelength! This kiss didnít have as nearly as much build up compared to the previous one, yet it seemed more romantic due to the spontaneity of it, and how it does in front of people so it seemed to show that James wasnít afraid of showing his true feelings for Lily, then again he never seemed to be too afraid in doing that previously.

It was funny to see how Belle and Alice were kind of forcing Lily into dating him! You could tell that she just needed that push from them though. I think if she let him kiss her three times, it does show that she does want to date him, as I canít imagine Lily would let someone kiss her that easily. It again shows how close all three of them if the other two know Lily so well. Haha and when they were talking about Lily going to the wedding with James it was just brilliant, I think it was due to Belleís Ďcackleí.

I really liked Frankís brief commentary, it reminded me of Lee Jordan, especially with McGonagall butting in and having a go at him! Is it bad that Iím glad that you only covered the start of the match? I just thought it was better that way, because unless itís from a playerís perspective it gets a little dull, so I was glad that we returned to Bellatrix, as sheís just so interesting, I donít think anything could beat her in that category, not even a quidditch match ;)

I thought Alrek had overheard the mention about the wedding, so Iím glad that my suspicions were proved correct! The cameo from Karkaroff was great! I thought the idea of the letter being written in code was really cool as well, as it just fitted with the whole death eater theme, and it made you realise how thought out their planning was. Iím already getting worried about what could happen at Petuniaís wedding, and Iíve just got loads of horrible scenarios playing out in my head.

I also liked that section for two other reasons. The first being, that you again showed how Voldemort wanted the Potters, as he wanted Lily and James brought to him, not killed, and I canít wait to see how that plays out. Secondly, I loved how you showed where Bellatrixís obsession with Voldemort may have sprung from, as you could tell when he praised her, how much she appreciated it.

Hahaha that was great! Poor James getting all romantic over Lily and for him to then find out that McGonagall was in the room as well! I think it must be a Potter thing, injuring oneself at a Quidditch game! It seemed fitting that it happened though, and of course he would have to injure himself in an impressive way!

It was another excellent chapter Jami!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Kiana! *Insert huge wave* hi darling!

Thank you for pointing out the typo! I'll head over to edit it as soon a I'm done replying to this :)!

Frank as commentator seemed totally fitting for some odd reason, didn't it?! I'm happy you could pick up on Alrek's sneakiness! I kind of love and kind of hate us knowing he's bad but not the group. It really does make for some stressful moments, though!

I kind of thought this kiss felt a bit more romantic too! It's all sweet and in front of his family and yeah, like you said, James wasn't afraid of showing his feelings and that just made me get all gooey. James is sweet. I might have to take him from Lily :P

Hahah I felt so bad for skipping the match, but they can just get so dull! Besides, Bellatrix is much more entertaining then a Quidditch match, isn't she? :P

Hahah I'm so happy you liked the end of the chapter! It was a million times different on my first write though, then this came out of nowhere and just seemed to work. I felt bad for poor James when he realized McGonagall was with them :P haha! At least he gets his kiss anyway :p.

Reading your reviews is always so much fun. I feel like you really do enjoy the characters, and that means so much to me ♥ I'm going to guess that Jily is your favorite pairing as well? Thank you again ♥


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Review #6, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

21st February 2013:
First off, super big apologies for taking more than a week to get to this chapter. Shame on me! But I have gone through each of the concerns you listed and shall do my best to provide some helpful feedback... though I may hit on a few of them out of order.

I think the opening was perhaps a lot better than you think. I thought you did a perfect job of identifying each of the speakers. There was nothing choppy or confusing about who was speaking when. There were a pattern of formatting the dialogue tags the same way (ie., he/she said, making a physical gestures...) but it wasn't over the top, and it fell into a more relaxed rhythm once it was just the girls talking.

Speaking of... I didn't think there was too much girl talk at all. What teenage girl WOULDN'T be talking about this sort of thing with her friends? Personally, I'd much rather read a character discussing all this with her friends than have to wade through a long internal monologue where the character contemplates their relationship -- and not just in this story but any story. There is a fine line between using a conversation to ram information down a reader's throat and using a scene to move the story forward. We know Lily is close to her friends and this was a great way of showing us they now know what's going on between her and James AND to get some insight into how Lily is feeling post-kiss.

If I had any CC about the opening it would be that you might have been a bit slow to introduce the setting, especially with James's parents not having appeared in a chapter for a long time. I actually tucked back to the previous chapter to see if I'd missed/forgotten something. Of course, I should have just kept reading on, as you do state where they are about 100 words in, but those opening lines hang there a bit in space. If it was just James and Lily talking, or James and Sirius, my mind would have been better able to place the setting. They would (almost certainly) have been somewhere in or near the castle. But with William having the opening line, I'm left hanging a bit on any frame of reference for the first few lines of the scene.

I don't think skipping the match was a problem at all. Unless something happened during it that was going to be central to the plot moving forward, like Death Eaters arriving in the middle of the game or something, it's no different IMO than not depicting a class they attend, especially with it being an "end scene" kind of moment. If you'd picked up in the next sentence immediately after the match was over, it might have felt heavy-handed, but I thought it was perfectly fine as is.

You know I LOVE your Bellatrix, and it was so great to see her one-on-one with Voldemort. (And yay!! I finally got to see where that scene snippet you sent me fit into the story.) I thought you did a fantastic job with his character. I much prefer to see him in this cold, more detached way than as a raving lunatic, killing people left and right. And her almost sexual draw to him was totally creepy in the loveliest of evil ways. And I thought putting this scene in the middle of the chapter was fine, especially if the events overlap time-wise with the scenes before and after it.

The only thing that was a *tiny* bit confusing was that I didn't really know until afterward that this was all happening on the same day, so there is a little bit of that "hanging out there" feel again. From Bella's line, "I believe Alrek is informing me that both her and Potter, and only her and Potter, will be attending and staying at least a day for it," I know this is happening sometime after the opening scene, ie., after Alrek asks if Belle and Alice are going to the wedding too. But I kind of assumed the Bella/Voldemort scene was happening the next day or even farther down the road. It's a lot to have happened in the span of a few hours: Alrek sending the note, an owl needing to deliver it, Bella working out what it all means, her contacting Voldemort, him having and arraigning the time to meet with her, etc. Not impossible, of course, and it isn't an issue of it contradicted your timeline, but it was a surprise to find out that the last scene opened later the same night as scene one. I know Bella says the letter just arrived from Alrek, but there isn't really a reference to when Alrek sent the letter in relation to the opening scene. Maybe there is a way to make the overlap in time a bit more obvious to the reader...

The last scene felt totally natural!! You set the scene for public kissing (that sounds so silly as I'm typing it, but you know what I mean :P), and this follows up on it perfectly. James issues this challenge of sorts, and just as he's about to back down from it, Lily takes it one step further. It was a really sweet little back and forth for them.

I wouldn't ever know you had trouble writing this if you hadn't mentioned it. It's another really solid chapter. We know a bit more about where we are headed -- Christmas with the Potters, perhaps. And definitely trouble at the wedding. We feel like James and Lily are on track, and that hopefully Belle and Sirius aren't far behind. What more can you ask for from a chapter!? Speaking of chapters...

If you want to hit me up with AoC for the next two chapters at the same time, I'll try really hard to crank them out this weekend. No promises, but the weather is supposed to be crappy, so I'm preparing my stash of good stories to catch up on now :)

Author's Response: Becky!! You have no idea how huge my smile gets when I click on a new review and see it's you. Well, you probably do know that because I'm sure I've told you :P

Don't apologize! I super apologize that I'm a bit over the top with my requesting. If you ever need me to back off, let me know ♥

That's what I kind of thought about the girl talk too. But for some reason people often seem to dislike girls being.. well.. girls in fan fiction. But it did seem appropriate to me that they'd dwell on it a bit. Because, like you said, they're teenage girls! Thanks for making me feel better about that. I was really second guessing myself.

I wondered if the setting did feel odd at first without really knowing why William was there until we get a few sentence down. I'll play around with that and see if I can get something that roots you to where we are right away. thank you ♥

Oh good, I'm glad the match-skipping didn't turn you off! I will write one eventually, but only one :P

Hahahah that's what I thought about when requesting this chapter! Was, yay it's finally the chapter that has the part I had questions about! Bellatrix really is fun to write. I hope I'll get an idea for a one shot for her someday or something, but right now just her little appearances in this are a lot of fun for me. And you saying you love how I write her as put me on cloud 9 ♥

I don't love when Voldemort is raging around all 'I'm going to murder every single person.' We do see him get angry sometimes, but for the most part we see him appear very calm while doing these terrible things. He's still a really intimating character for me to write, so I'm relieved you liked how he turned out in this section ♥

I was worried about that -- with how I didn't really make it clear exactly when this was. I think maybe I'll add an end of the last scene with Alrek actually leaving after faking ill so we'll see it. That way it would give us more immediate feeling of, wait, why's he leaving? Then Bella's scene, then 'ohhh!'... yeah, I think I'll try something like that. Thanks for getting my wheels turning ♥

The last scene was so scary! I didn't plan that, which is odd for me because I plan most of the stuff, so I always get nervous about the scenes that kind of pop up out of nowhere in my head, haha. I'm really happy you liked the public kiss ;)!

Aww Becky, I'd love to post the next two chapter AoC, but like I said, if I get to be a bit much just tell me ♥ I hope you can see improvement with each chapter, though, because I really take your advice to heart and want that to show.

Thank you again so much ♥. Also! I'm about to go in strike from the snow. Are you getting as insanely sick of it as I am??


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Review #7, by ValWitch21 

7th February 2013:
Just one sentence: I LOVED THIS CHAPTER THROUGHOUT.

With, obviously, a particular fondness for Lily making a decision about James when I wasn't sure she'd do it.

You never cease to amaze me, and once more I'll have to say this was a brilliant chapter :)

Author's Response: Lily made a good decision, didn't she? She's a smart girl sometimes ;).

I'm so happy you liked this whole chapter, and you really are going to make it so I can't fit in my house with my new huge ego :P



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Review #8, by LovlyRita 

31st January 2013:
Hi there!

OMG the return of the great William Potter! *is excited*

Awww Alice how cute is she, I just love her and Frank. It would make sense that he doesn't really know how to deal with certain types of close interactions given that Augusta Longbottom was never the really nuturing type of lady.

Ugh Alrek. I like throw up every single time that I see his name. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic. But srsly. And watch William Potter swoop in! I'm glad he has the same skeptical eye that I do. Well done, sir, well done.

Oh my GAWD I love James' parents even more. Thinking about her taking bets on the game. It's hilarious and it's so freaking cute, I love them, they are the best older couple ever. I want to be them when I Grow up.

Ahhh Jily kiss. Adorbs. And then Belle's all like "hey gurl, tings moving 2 fast 4 yall?" and Lily's all like "wut?" But I have to say, how could things POSSIBLY be moving too fast?! If I could, just for a moment, insert myself into this story. I'd pop up right there. here, I'll write it for you:

Suddenly, a random stranger popped up right in front of them. Given that there was no apparation onto Hogwarts grounds, Lily was confused and a little frightened at the woman standing before her.

"Lily, seriously," the stranger gasped, as though she had run a long way. "You're worried you're moving too fast? It's chapter 16, chica! You seriously need to google the definition of 'too fast.' You and James are moving like turtles as far as relationships are concerned. Just watch an episode of Teen Mom or the Bachelor. Things happen quickly. If you want to take this whole Jily thing and put some turbo boosters on it, I'm pretty sure he'd be cool with that." The stranger then winked at the girls and was magically gone.

"What's google?" asked Lily.

"What is zis Bachelor?" asked Belle.

And SCENE. Right? AMIRITE. Ahem. Maybe that was a melodramatic way to say so, but I just feel like someone should tell Lily that she shouldn't worry about moving too fast. She's cool. :P

And there's Alrek again, being an over all (non 12+ word). Poor Lily. At least Momma and Papa Potter were there to soften the blow.

Oooh Bellatrix. LOVE. I adore the descriptions of her anticipation of meeting the Dark Lord, especially when you describe the thrill she has at hearing his voice. It's all part of the intense crazy that makes her such an interesting character.

Loving the code about the plants, very sneaky.

And how just like the Dark Lord to make Bellatrix think that he's going to eat her soul before paying her a compliment. "I would like to reward you for your loyalty" says the Dark Lord. "I have booked a room at the Super 8 motel down the street for us just for the night, I hope you like free HBO" I mean...WHAT?!

Oh wait, nevermind, she just gets to torture Karkaroff. Psh. And to think she went to all that trouble. I mean, that is to say, what a delicious gift for a twisted death eater such as herself! :)

Ok ALL the LOLZ at this scene with Professor McGonagall!! Ahaha that is so funny! I can totally imagine it in my head too. At first you're all like What? And then you're all like AWW and then you're all like LOL. Fabulous work there.

Ok so now I'm all done. Gonna admit, I about had a heart attack at the end of the chapter when James thought he'd taken a hundred steps back. I was like NO, please see the above excerpt, James, and consult the Bachelor. You're doing FINE. But then Lily surprises everyone, she's so feisty!

Loved this chapter, the developments were great, always keeping the plot moving and entertaining. Wasn't bored for a second and I'm really glad that everyone is moderately happy, even Bellatrix. Though I do have to say I'm going to be very sad if there are no Jily feels on the trip to Wales because, hey, what else is a long Jily weekend good for? That stupid Alrek. Don't you find it funny how I adore Bellatrix and have nothing bad to say about the Dark Lord, but that Alrek is the worst person ever? There's something wrong with me.

ANYWAY Brilliant chapter, loved it so much, you're amazing as always and I look forward to the next installment!

Author's Response: Ashley!!! I was so excited to see you! Well, I'm still excited ♥ PS I've been thinking about making a podcast out of Casualties of War. I'll message you in a bit ♥

Oh god. I was laughing hysterically at your rewrite of yourself in this chapter, and I read this at five in the morning when I woke up. So basically I was laying in my bed laughing hysterically at five in the morning and I thought Ben was going to murder me. It would have been your fault too, just so you know. And his, but mostly yours. :P

HAHAHAHA. Oh Voldemort. Can you imagine how exciting that one finger brush over the arm must have been for her?? She's probably going to go home and tell her husband about it.. oh wait.. hmm.

JILY FEELS IN WALES? Well, there must be a reason that they're going too far past the 100 mile recommended apparation radius, because now they're going to take muggle transportation and they'll have to spend a whole night there...

but then with crazy people going after them, you never know ;). Maybe Lily will just offer Bellatrix a piece of cake and she'll stay for the wedding? Then she can torture Vernon, because who really needs that waist of air?

Ummm I love you and your reviews to tiny little pieces ♥


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Review #9, by CambAngst 

28th January 2013:
More, more, more! I read and I read and I beta read and I read some more, but I just can't get enough of your version of Lily and James. They're captivating! Sirius and Belle are getting really good, too. Frank and Alice need to learn to let their hair down a little more...

William Potter is like the Universal Dad. What I mean is that he sort of becomes a father to anyone younger than him who happens to be nearby. Frank, Peter, Sirius, Lily... they all might as well be James's biological siblings. He seems to have the same sort of fatherly affection for all of James's friends. Olivia is very similar in that regard. Neither of them seem like they've ever met a stranger, which is striking for two people who spend so much of their lives hunting down dark wizards. Or maybe that's why they're like that, I suppose.

I love the rise that Olivia is able to get out of Frank. Like Neville, I suppose that his upbringing wasn't very touchy-feely. It partly explains why he and Alice aren't more openly affectionate, I suppose.

Ooh, that Alrek! He's really starting to pry, isn't he? Good on James's parents for having the sense to not speak of things that are better left unsaid!

It looks like James is planning to make these public displays of affection a more common occurrence! And he caught her in a spot where she can't really be too upset at him, either. He's a smart one!

Lily's thought process is hilariously convoluted, but she finds her way to the right answer with a little direction from her friends. I love the dynamic within the trio of her, Alice and Belle. The thinker, the pragmatist and the dreamer! The three of them work so well together. Every time Lily tries to derail herself into panicking or over-thinking that her relationship with James, Alice and Belle put her back on the tracks, so to speak.

Lily laughed as they scooted into their seats. Leave it to Alice to get two lectures into one sentence. That's Alice's super power, to be sure. Well, one of them, anyway. When I think about Alice, I sort of wonder whether there are any emotional crises in her future that Lily and Belle are going to have to help her through. So far, Alice has been the rock of the group, helping the other two through their own difficulties. It would be really interesting to see what sort of things could throw a person like that for a loop and make her need to lean on her friends for support. Not that I'm advocating for anything terrible to happen to Alice any time soon, but since terrible things wind up happening to nearly every character in this story, I just wonder what form her troubles will take.

Dang it, Alrek! Go away! The guy is a conversational menace. And one more piece of information falls into the wrong hands. :(

Frank's commentary during the introductions is awesome! I knew the guy had more personality hiding in there somewhere.

Bellatrix is back! Oh, she's such a good, evil girl, isn't she? Such a good, evil girl! You are still doing such a perfect job of capturing the nuances of her fanatical devotion and her deep-seated mental problems. Events and situations look so different from her perspective. Things that would terrify most people excite her. Her eagerness is so palpable. She's perfect.

I almost find myself feeling bad for Karkaroff. The guy just can't catch a break in life. Obviously he creates the majority of his own problems by being such a twisted, evil coward. But the Dark Lord is known for assigning nearly impossible tasks to his followers and it looks like old Igor drew the short straw on this one.

Alrek's letter was cleverly done. He and Bellatrix have clearly worked out a very effective means of passing along information. I knew that guy was nothing but trouble!

Voldemort's speech to Bellatrix about his choice in servants was as chilling as it was brilliant. Her certainly knows how to play her like a violin, doesn't he? He knelt down beside her, his white skin nearly glowing as his sharp finger ran down her arm. Well that's about as close to erotic as the Dark Lord is ever going to get, isn't it? Ooh! Voldemort is so twisted! Pitting his servants against one another, letting them apply disciple... It's the perfect way to assure that they don't join together and plot against him since they all most likely hate one another. Genius!

I love the confused way that James gradually wakes up in the Hospital Wing. The way that his friends and Professor McGonagall are waiting for him to come around. Reminds me of another Potter boy...

Instead, she, Belle and Alice were huddled together talking in those fast whisper-hisses that only other girls can understand. Ah, yes, the whisper-hiss! I'm quite familiar with it. I don't understand it, but I'm familiar.

Sirius was the first to start, grabbing James's glass of water and chugging it first. Oh, Sirius, you beautiful bastard!

"Now," Alice started again once those two were gone. "Let's all go down to the Great Hall and we'll see James there. Except for you," she added, pointing a finger to Lily. James decided right then that Alice was his favorite out of the bunch. You know what I like about Alice? She figures out what needs to happen in a given situation and then she makes it happen. Whether it's cursing Evan Rosier or making Lily confront her feelings for James, she just gets things done!

And it worked. Brilliantly! Even with the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team trying to co... erm, disrupt James's attempt to further his relationship with Lily, she's already made up her mind!

Another amazing chapter, my dear. So many wonderful things happened, but as always, against the backdrop of so much darkness and evil. Are you sure that the apothecary can't accidentally put Plutonium into Voldemort's Preparation H? Sigh. I know, I know...

Author's Response: Now that I have two incredible reviews from you, I figure I should start replying. Inset ninja face.

I swear, you read my writing almost as much as I read my writing. Hahah. Have I told you how awesome you are, recently? When Before They Fall is over, I'm mailing you the world's biggest cupcake.

That's exactly how I feel about William. And I think that you're right about them being the way they are because of their careers. They've seen the worst of the worst and they don't take even a second of the best, like all of their son's friends and getting to be around them, for granted.

James is a sneaky boy... Lily better keep her eye on him ;)

We already talked about what's on the plan for Alice's future, auto corrections and all. I'm excited to see how she handles all that. She's such a calm sort of logical person, but then she does things like hexes people... so I guess there's no say just how she'll do ;).

Oh god, that's exactly what I thought about Voldemort in the sentence about him kneeling next to Bellatrix. At this time, I think he really could be still very charming. He hasn't had to create a new creepy body yet. He's still more darker, sharper, than he was when he went to Hogwarts. His face less filled, but he isn't by any means the creepy thing we know.

Karkaroff doesn't stand a chance against darling Bellatrix, that's for sure.

Daniel! You have to stop tempting me. Maybe I'll write two final chapters for book two of this. Which I forgot the title that you helped me with that I really liked. uh oh... anyway. Maybe I'll write one ending chapter that I put up, and then one for just us. Maybe Voldemort lost his wand and couldn't unlock the door, then the neighbor's dog attacked him? Yeah, that sounds good ;)

Thank you so much, as always, for your incredible support ♥


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Review #10, by starchickpotter 

26th January 2013:
? MORE, please, I'm in love! :D

Author's Response: Aww ♥ I'm so happy you're enjoying it! The next chapter will be up a week from today :)! Saturdays are my update days :)!

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #11, by zipzin 

26th January 2013:
Uh oh. James and Lily are in trouble. And they are super cute at being not together but actually together. This is anothe great chapter and I can't wait to read more of it whenever you post it up so keep up the good work! Excited to read more of it and I can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: Hi darling! Hahah I'm so happy think their good at the 'not together but together' thing.

I'm so excited that you're looking forward to the next chapter ♥ it will be up on Saturday :)!!

Jami


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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

26th January 2013:
Hello :D

Gosh - such another amazing chapter and a dedication too! Now I really don't know what to say!

First off I'll just tell you how much I love your characterisation of Olivia & William and Alice & Belle. Olivia and William are just so lovely! You can see why James is so close to his family and I don't know, when I read the interaction between them it makes me even sadder about Harry's future. He misses out on knowing his grandparents and the great father James would become from his parents love. The way you write them though, they're just everything I'd expect from what we know from canon. I love that Olivia had to drop in about James going to the wedding with Lily. I love how they tease all the boys in particular and it's clear how much all of James friends love them too.

Belle and Alice, and I think Alice in particular seemed a lot more prominent in this chapter. I loved the discussion between the three of them at the match discussing the future of Lily and James. It was a lovely girly chat and they were there for Lily and I just felt almost like I was part of the conversation. I really wanted to encourage her too! But yeah - Belle and Alice are amazing friends. I think my favourite line of the chapter was when Alice had ordered Lily to stay with James - 'James decided right then that Alice was his favorite out of the bunch.'

Alrek again. It's about time something bad happened to him, surely? He was being quite nice to start with, all friendly and the like but I still just wanted him to disappear. He just bugs me by being there, and I mean that as a compliement to your writing - if you hadn't written such a good bad guy I wouldn't feel this strongly. When he was questioning them about the wedding though I was practically screaming at them to stop. Now he knows all the details and no no no! This just isn't going well. I was relieved William stopped anyone revealing what Frank and Alice really are doing.


I loved your letter. That was such an amazing piece of writing on your part as as I was reading I was trying to figure out the code and I think I got quite a few of the bits but only because you had told us their plan. Using Herbology and plants though - yeah it was just really clever.

I think you've wrote one of the best Bellatrix and Voldemort I've read. Particularly Bellatrix - you just have her twisted side and her way of thinking down so well. The way she adores Voldemorts it's quite chilling. As much as I dislike her character and what she does and quite like Bellatrix in a strange way and so I love how you write her and the fact we do get the chance to view what she thinks in your story.

And then we get to have all the wonderful Lily and James goodness throughout. It just made me so so happy to read! The first bit, with the casual teasing and then he kissed her again. And then, bless him, he thought he'd pushed it too far again but she kissed him in front of the whole team. I can't tell you how happy I am with the two of them right now and you of course for making this happen!!

Oh James waking up from a Quidditch accident is just the cutest and funniest to read. When he said 'Morning, beautiful' then McGonagall answered - just hilarious!

Frank's commentary of the pre-match intro's was great - just funny and bias enough. I'm also mega happy Belle is going to talk to Sirius! I'm hoping this means we'll get some more details on the two of them soon.

Once again I have no CC to offer so I'm just going to point out the two typos I noticed so I have at least something to offer!

'Lily watched Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchange a look, a for some reason she was relieved that James's dad hadn't told Alrek the truth.' I don't think you need the 'a' in it, or it might supposed to be 'and' I wasn't sure.

'Evans, you aren't supposed to be in the my dormitory.' I don't think you need the 'the' in.

Once again you have amazed me with your writing. I love this story and it really deserved to be nominated in the ultimate ship off! Thank you so much for my little dedication!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi darling! The dedication was the least I could do, I just hope you know how much I love having you as a reader ♥

I feel the same way about Harry's future. It seems so cruel of JKR to take away so many chances at having at least some bits of happiness. Obviously to make her story what it is, Petunia needed to be the only one to left to go to, but still. James deserved more time as a father just as much as Harry deserved more time with him and Olivia and William ;(. Now I'm getting all feelsy :(.

Ahh I'm so happy you liked that line when Alice orders Lily to stay! Alice's personality obviously isn't quiet as strong as Belle's, but I wanted to give her some time to really shine in this chapter because she's such a constant strength and support to Lily.

Did you get quite a bit of pieces on the letter?! Yay! I was hoping that there would be a few parts that would stand out, I wasn't sure though. I'm really relieved it seemed well done, I was nervous that it would sound like random nonsense to anyone but me, haha.

I am so with you on not liking Bellatrix but liking her at the same time. Her sections are some of my very favorite to write, and she's just such a powerful character. I can't tell you what a huge compliment it is that you think I've done will with her and Voldemort. I still really have to struggle to find a good medium between between this creepy red eyed thing we know of Voldemort and then this, at one time handsome and charismatic man. I want to make him terrifying, but because of his personality. Not because he has slits for his eyes yet or has a body that was created from a creepy potion.

I always worry about the scenes where they kiss. I want them to be warm and fluffy without the, 'oh god, I feel like I should close my eyes' sort of reaction. I wish I could tell you how much your reviews mean to me, but I know there's no way I can explain it. So I'm just going to continue flailing around and overusing the term 'I'm so happy,' haha.

And! Thank you so much for noticing the typos! I'm going in to edit them right now :)!

Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews ♥

Jami


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Review #13, by MissMdsty 

26th January 2013:
Aaaah, they're so fluffy I could die!

This chapter (for the most part) put a huge smile on my face. I swear my cheeks are hurting from all of it. I love the first part, how James just kissed her in front of everybody before the game. I must say, I was thinking you would just leave them in this awkward phase of not just friends for a few more chapters just to torture me, but I'm happy to see she made her mind up.

I love Mrs. Potter! She reminds me so much of my soon-to-be mother in law, with her attitude and the way she just casually mentioned that James was going with Lily to the wedding.

Bellatrix. I have never read a more sick and twisted Bellatrix than in your story. And that's saying something. I loved the descriptions in that part. You set the mood for the encounter with the Dark Lord perfectly, I got chills up and down my spine from reading it. And the code. That was so twisted it hurt my brain a little but when she started explaining I just thought it was brilliant. Not the plan they have, no, but your writting and your ideas!

Frank and Alice really grew on me in this story and I love how in your Marauder Era, the group doesn't just keep to themselves, like in most stories, but they have friends and spend a lot of time with other people, even though they go on their little adventures alone.

Maybe next chapter we'll see how Sirius reacts to Belle's story? Here's hoping! :D (and before you ask, my next chapter is the queue already!)

Lovely chapter as always, a pleasure to read! Good job, darling!

Author's Response: Hi m'dear! I totally wanted to leave you there and torture you, just so you know. But these stinking characters never seem to behave. You tell them one thing, they do the other. I'm wagging my finger like an angry parents half the time. :P

Aww I'm so happy that you love Olivia ♥ I always get this sort of warm fuzzy feeling when I write her.

Hahahah, I'm taking your comments about Bellatrix as a huge compliment. I'm so tempted so, so often to give her her own one shot. It will happen as soon as I get a good idea for it, I'm sure. I love setting the mood for her scenes. I don't like when she comes to play, because it's never good news, but she's just such a.. yeah. I don't even know the word. I'm so happy that you felt like her scene was done well ♥

Oooh you're hoping may just be right along the right lines ;).

I'm so happy the next chapter is already in the queue! I'm keeping my eyes open for it!

Thank you so much for the review ♥


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