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18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
It hadnít been until after heíd removed all the hair that he realized it would only make a difference if he played Quidditch naked.

^ Good golly. I tried to convince my boyfriend to shave his legs too for sports and he is not easily swayed, says he's not a polo swimmer. Haha, I just want him to do it so I can make fun of him. I'm a bad girlfriend.

Anyway, yes! The feels! I found myself beaming as I read this chapter and it happened so...quietly. No loud fireworks or crazy expectations. Heck, I thought they wouldn't get together until chapter twenty or the end at least. I liked this better. It was quiet. It was thought out and James still tried to control himself, as much as a man of his age can.

I thought the conversation they had of "friends" but "not just friends," was a classic. We've all been there trying to DTR our relationships or non-relationships. It was very real. I suppose that's what I'm trying to say. Relateable.

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Review #2, by ferruacia 

13th July 2014:
I enjoy your novel, but this couldn`t just slip past my eyes.
"Sure, they may not look a day over fifty, but the truth was that they were nearing their eighties."
Unless James`s mother gave birth to him in her 60`s, your calculations are nowhere near correct.

Author's Response: It's actually a canon fact that James's parents (or mom, I guess) gave birth very late in life :)! And with wizards life span being substantially longer than muggles, 60's is probably on the 'young' end of the spectrum. I'm so happy you're enjoying this, and I hope that clears it up!

Jami


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Review #3, by Lexi Black 

28th November 2013:
Eep I loved this chapter! I've been waiting for the Lily/James feels for so long. It was perfect!

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Review #4, by Remus 

10th September 2013:
I figured another review wouldn't hurt! Just making it more difficult for you to catch up on your review responses! :P Although, it'll be a short review cus I'm editing PoP and moaning about the lack of chocolate around here. Haha! XD

The line "You listen to me," James snarled with a burst of frustration, standing from his chair and pointing a steady finger at his friend. was very powerful to me. You have no idea how close I've become to my Remus and Wolf...so as soon as I read that line, I felt Wolf recoiling, ready to bring James back to his rightful place. Hahahah! Crazy, I know! But I absolutely loved that about that line.

I'm very intrigued as to who tried to get that letter from Beowulf! Was it Alrek? Bellatrix? Regulus? Another Death Eater? Gah! I must know! Haha!

Another thing, I like how you tie all the knots well together. You're very good at not leaving anything behind, like Alice's detention. I had totally forgotten about that!

That Petunia letter was fantastic! I mean it in a way that you've managed to capture her character so well that I just got so irritated at the contents. I could seriously picture a young Fiona Shaw (Petunia from the movies) penning that letter. Pure greatness!

OMG! FINALLY THOSE TWO KISS!! GAH! I've been waiting AGES to read that!

I think I spotted something. The line that says:

those restaurants that serves tiny potions of food that couldn't feed a Pixie--I think you meant Portions rather than potions.

Other than that, it was a fantastic chapter! You got me squeeing over here with those two and I wish you weren't taking this to that horrible doom! Waahh!!! :(

Ugh! Maybe you should A/U it! :P It'll make us feel better! Hahaha!

Until next time, dearie!

--Rosie

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Review #5, by nott theodore 

15th August 2013:
SO MANY FEELS!

Okay, so I'm going to try and write a coherent review for this chapter...

The opening of this chapter was so tense! At the end of the last one I really didn't expect the tension that I felt at the beginning because I assumed the reaction Beowulf being attacked would be similar to Hedwig being attacked in the fifth book. I suppose that Harry was already in enough danger and Dumbledore knew more at that point what danger they were facing, but it still made me nervous to see how seriously the attack was being taken.

I found the way that Remus was arguing with his friends was really believable - it's so consistent with their canon counterparts. Of course Remus would be the responsible one, arguing to stop James from doing something stupid and going against orders, while Sirius sees no problem with it and they all want to go and be there during Remus' transformations to help him get through. Even though I'm nervous about why James and Lily have been told to stay inside, I can't help but be happy that Lily won't be going to the party with Alrek, after all!

"Peter had always been so loyal to James, though."!
Seriously, Jami?! How can you put a line like that in there so casually as if it means absolutely nothing and in fact it's just foreshadowing the death of both James and Lily and Peter's betrayal and oh my goodness what are you doing to me?!

It's really interesting actually that Peter is suspicious of Alrek. I wonder whether there's more than just his position as a 'rival' to James that's aroused the suspicion, or if it's something more? The joking between Lily and James was so cute, and the way that they get on so well now rather than arguing - they've got to a point where they both depend upon each other and trust each other, probably more than they even realise.

I still really admire how well you write both Dumbledore and McGonagall! I thought you balanced the conversation well and that the tone was just right for it (I also love the name Beowulf for an owl!). It reminded me a bit of the books when Minerva worries about her students and when Molly worries about how much the kids will be told about what's going on in the war. I'm intrigued about what they'll find out about the attack, if anything, and I was surprised by how many curses were used to attack the poor owl! I can understand James not wanting to worry his parents with the information, particularly as you've managed to introduce their deteriorating health without making it really obvious.

Aw, Butterscotch is adorable! It made me really want a kitten, which is strange since I normally much prefer dogs! I love the way that the James and Lily are starting to become so in tune with each other and are thinking along the same lines about things without actually adapting their opinions to match the other's.

How do you manage to characterise Petunia perfectly through her writing a letter? Every word that I read was just so perfectly matched to her, the way that she only answered the letter because she wanted to avoid Vernon seeing the 'strange' form of communication that wizards use. No matter how much Petunia was trying to seem like she didn't care at all about Lily, I think it did come through in the fact that she didn't 'object' to her attending the wedding or meeting Vernon beforehand. When she said that Vernon had accepted her abnormality, I did find myself wondering how much Petunia has actually told him about Lily and the world that she's become a part of, since he seems so ignorant of it in the books. From this letter I got the impression that it wasn't a lot.

I can understand why James felt so protective of Lily and I love the fact that they're both going to go together. He also couldn't understand the fact that Lily still wanted to go and see her sister, even though the letter made it sound like Petunia couldn't care less - I wonder if part of the reason is because James is an only child and can't understand the relationship between Petunia and Lily, no matter what has happened between them.

I'm so excited to see what the meeting will be like, and I'm happy that James is going with Lily! I suppose that this will be the famous dinner when James and Lily meet Vernon and Petunia that's mentioned in canon? I'm really looking forward to see how you write it!

The kiss! With the title for this chapter I thought that maybe they'd come to some sort of agreement similar to the one that they did arrive at, but I didn't really expect them to kiss already! I thought the way that you built up to the moment was so perfect, and it was hesitant at first but then evolved naturally into something more.

I'm pleased that Lily admitted that they had both made the move and didn't make James feel guilty at all for having kissed her. I'm not sure how they're going to work with this agreement they've both come to, but I'm so pleased that they both actually admitted their feelings to each other, and that Lily told him what has been holding her back so far. I know that things won't go smoothly all the time when they get together, but I feel like the closer they get now and the more they know about each other is going to help them when they eventually do get together! There were so many James/Lily feels at the end of this chapter and you've put a massive smile on my face while I read this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Yay! I've been SO EXCITED for you to get to this chapter!

I know, I was pretty happy to keep Lily away from Alrek, too. hehehe. Can't let that slime get too close to my Lily! *huggles*!

I LOVED writing the tense sort of nature at the beginning of this chapter, and am so excited about how you summed up what was going on with the guys. Those are the things I wanted to get across, and you always make me feel like I'm saying what I want to and it just makes me so happy. I want to send you cake or something, haha!

Hahhaha I can't help it!!! Putting in those sort of ironic lines is too tempting!! I'm not the one that betrayed them, Sian! Yell at Peter! hehehe.

Aww I'm so, so relieved that the fact that they're depending on one another and trusting each other more than they even realize is coming across. You know how I am with these two. I want to show how real it is, how much their relationship means to both of them, and that it wasn't just a convenience thing. So the fact that you're seeing that closeness between them makes me want to hug/squeeze/send you cake even more :P

I am so with you on preferring dogs! My twitter account is basically a hundred million pictures of my puppy, haha! I love kittens, but wish they'd stay that way :P!

Ahhh I'm so happy you like Petunia!! I was super scared to write her. I still think that, though Lily and Petunia never would have been close, maybe they could have built up some sort of relationship if given the time. Maybe Lily could have talked Petunia into divorcing Vernon and then she wouldn't have been quite so terrible :P

Yes yes! This will be the dinner mentioned in canon!!! I'm so excited for you to read it. I think, out of all the chapters, the few surrounding the dinner are my favorite.

Aw I'm so happy you liked all the J/L feels at the end of this!!! You're seriously making my day. Responding to these reviews has put me in the bet mood ever ♥

Thank you so much!!!


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Review #6, by FallenTruths 

6th June 2013:
Hi Jami!

Chapter 14 - Lily's new kitten kept her up playing all night? I would know nothing about that. ;)

I really enjoyed all the creative spells you came up with in this chapter. Tachycardia would certainly be helpful for healers more than anyone else I think. I like that you're explaining the healer related spells and potions since Lily is interested in becoming a healer. Lily watching the intimacy of Sirius and Belle's brewing skills was interesting as well. It's funny how something as mundane as brewing a potion can show how close two people are and how well they work together.

The whole situation with James and Lily is getting even more complicated. If James really wants to be with Lily he should just avoid lying to her and say heís doing something for Remus. Lily will find out soon enough on her own anyways. She's a smart girl, and disappearing every time there's a full moon will certainly lead to questions. I wonder if Vernon was the one to hurt the owl? I can't imagine he would be very pleased with Petunia using such magical means to talk to her sister.

Chapter 15 - I love the name Beowulf for a pet! I'm honestly not a huge fan of the poem though. Even some of the translated versions are really hard to get through. Petunia's letter was hilarious. I love how she mentions that she will go through the painful task of reserving her sister a room so that she can attend her wedding. She also doesn't seem affected by the death of their parents at all. Maybe she was mad at her parents for supporting Lily's magical abilities?

THE KISS! You could tell you really spent a lot of time crafting that scene and making it just perfect. I love how you drew out the scene and made it a really big moment for the two of them. I can't wait to see what happens with the couple going forward! I really loved this line, "James knew she didn't like the way she looked when she laughed, but he'd never understand why." He is so perceptive of Lily and how she covers her mouth because she hates how she laughs, and it's sweet he doesn't see the ugliness that Lily does.

A few typos - "the feel of her arms still laced around him was all the could concentrate on" and "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have..." he began.The (space needed after period)

Alli

Author's Response: Alli Alli! I wish Ben liked cats more. Writing Lily with a kitten made me want one so bad, haha! Don't tell Tryp!

Making up spells is definitely my guilty pleasure in this. I know they get boring and I try so hard to keep myself from focusing too much on the didactic portion of it all, but it's just so much fun!

Vernon! That's a very good guess. You can definitely imagine his fat hands trying to squish an owl...Obviously you know who it really was now ;). But still, Vernon wasn't someone I thought of...

I've never read all of Beowulf. haha. But the owl is little and tiny and that seemed to be such an opposite but fitting name :P. Maybe I'll put 'get through Beowulf' on my to do list. Though I'll just complain to you all the while...

I know romance isn't your favorite, but I'm still so happy you liked the kiss! I was afraid it was too soon, then someone reminded me we ARE 15 chapters in. haha. It wasn't supposed to be just yet, but then it sort of fit really well.

Thank you so much for the typos and for another awesome review ♥ You realize how spoiled I am over here, sitting in my happy review feels, right?

♥ Jami


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Review #7, by tyrion's queen 

20th May 2013:
I've been reading this story since you first started posting, and I'm trying to ignore this, but every time it pops up on my bookmarked 'marauders' recently added I just cannot curb my disappointment in your story's summary. Your summary is not reflective of original substance waiting for us within. It's somewhat generic. You can't tell your audience that your novel is going to be heart-warming or soul-splitting. Those are reactions your readers have to apply to your story themselves. It's tantamount to publishing an actual novel and praising your own work on the dust jacket. Like you're telling us it is epic rather than showing us. It is not professional form for an author to compliment his/her own writing, characters, or plot, however indirectly, and referring to your story as heartwarming and soul-splitting, I must say, is a form of compliment. It sounds like something a critic would write under their rating of a film. To be honest, (and I assume you're open to constructive criticism since you've requested so many of the reviews you've received), it's simply not indicative of great storytelling, and I think your story is better than that. Honestly it's a great story - although I do prefer to hear about it from your readers and reviewers and not from you yourself. I've read a few of your other stories since I liked this one so well and I've noticed that you reference BTF in lots of review responses for stories that have nothing to do with BTF. It feels like advertising that's supposed to sound subtle and well-intended but really isn't very humbled behaviour on your part, as you go out of your way to weave in mentions of BTF. It's good to love your writing and to be your own advocate, but you've become a bit more corporate-minded after BTF's success - which is disheartening since I've been reading from the beginning and I watched you transform from an up-and-comer who sincerely loves her novel to a 'popular' author who cannot be perfectly content with her readership no matter how large it grows. Or at least that's how it seems to me. Seeing you reference BTF so often makes me less inclined to stay tuned for updates. That's why I'm a bit behind. I'm not trying to be harsh, only helpful in the long run. I wouldn't make these suggestions if I didn't think you were capable of improvement. Sorry, this review rambled on for much longer than I intended. Truly, I enjoy Before They Fall very much and I'm eager to see you return to your roots and focus on the aspects of writing that really matter; the aspects that translate through the screen to us readers who've been here before you had hundreds of reviews or pretty images in your chapter headers.

Author's Response: Hi there! I've tried to respond to this a few different times and I just don't think I'm doing it the right way. I'm trying so hard not to be defensive, but it's hard because I do really, really love this story.

First, I want you to know I am so grateful for every single review I get. I stopped requesting reviews because I am so happy with the people I have reading it. Well, except for reviews from Arithmancy Wiz because that girl is the queen of CC.

Okay. The summary. I wish so much I could say that I'm going to change that, and I'll PM my beta to see if he has any ideas. But... you know how get attached to your first car? Or your first pair of designer jeans? Or your first pet or first plant or whatever? That's how I feel about that summary. And I don't mean for it to be talking about *my* story, but more the actual Marauders. Theirs story, no matter who writes it, is heart breaking and soul splitting. Four best friends people died before ever seeing the war. It's just... these people are the most amazing part of the series in my opinion. And I guess I wanted the summary to respect that, not so much my story. But I will absolutely think about what you said, I just don't want you to feel offended if I don't end up changing it.

Oh it really breaks my heart that you don't feel like I love my story anymore. I do, more than I can say. And not because of the reviews it has, not because of the CI's (which, are really pretty aren't they? The artists that makes them was the first person I ever started talking to on the forums, and I think she was the first person to ever review for me and I was the first to ever request a graphic from her so we sort of have a special bond :P). But i love this story because of how much damn work I put into it. Haha. I cry over things in it, and not because I think I'm just that good or anything, but because of how much of my emotion I get invested. I update every week. you've seen the size of my chapters. That isn't easy, at all. I do that because I'm so committed to this story and I just want to do whatever I can to make it the best story it can be.

But more than that, this has all been about me trying to improve. I'm trying to grow as a writer, so requesting reviews at the start was the best way to do so. Those reviewers are so much of the reason I'm still writing. I don't request anymore because I know how lucky I am to have the readers I have. But still, the people that CC'd me, were harsh enough to make me cry, and reminded me of what I need to work on are some of those that kept me going. Now I just feel lucky that I have five or six people reviewing every chapter and don't want to get greedy by requesting any more reviews :P.

I don't know if I'm answering this the right way. I just want you to know that I do love this story. So much that the comment you made about it not seeming like I do broke my heart more than any other review has. But I'm still really grateful you took the time to leave your comments, and please don't hesitate to ever offer any CC. Or if you want to talk more about this, you can always PM me on the forums. I'm JChrissy over there as well.

OH! And about talking about BTF in other stories! AH! I'm sorry! haha, that really does drive me crazy when other authors do that, so I'm making a promise to you NOT to do it anymore :P. I think I fall in to that trap because most of my other story ideas come from writing things in BTF, so in my head they're all sort of connected :P

Thank you again, and I hope I was able to saying that made sense in this and I sincerely, sincerely hope you're able to see how much this story does mean to me.

♥ Jami


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Review #8, by Brinker 

1st May 2013:
I am excited that they finally got together, too but I loved the build up. I think I have read dozens of Lily/James stories but with your story, I feel like I am reading about them for the first time. It is so much more realistic for them to grow closer to each other gradually instead of other stories where they are rushed to couple. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there!!

I'm so excited you liked the build up between them getting together. I really don't like when it just sort of happens out of nowhere, and wanted to give their relationship a solid foundation built on friendship.

Thank you so much for your awesome review. It was such a lovely surprise! ♥


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark 

30th April 2013:
I LOVED this chapter! It was so full of perfection and awesomeness that I don't even know how to begin describing this awesomeness. But I'll do my best.

I love this tension that is slowly starting to build up, relating to the war which is about to begin - especially what we saw of it at the start. I loved how insistent Sirius and Peter were to accompany Remus to the Shrieking Shack and how insistent he was that they stay behind him, keep themselves safe. I felt a little sorry for hi, actually.

Dumbledore was great in this chapter - I loved how he went off on that tangent about the name Beowulf and how McGonagall occasionally sent him the slightly disapproving stare - that was definitely very in-character.

The letter from Petunia was written absolutely perfectly - even though it was only a letter, I could actually picture the Petunia from the Harry Potter books and movies in my head, writing the letter with a disapproving look on her face. It will be very interesting to see James and Lily interacting with Vernon and Petunia.

James and Lily finally kissed! I'm so excited! And I think you wrote it absolutely perfectly, too - I liked that fact that Lily was still worried about it, worried about losing her friendship with James. And that she was slightly insecure about how many other girls James had been with. And her comment about not having been kissed that many times got me instantly curious and now I find myself wondering which guy she has kissed...hmm...

Gah, now that I know Alrek's little secret I dislike him very much and hope that Lily or one of the - marauders or Alice or Belle find out about him soon. I am extremely glad that she didn't end up going to the party with him!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: I've been so excited for you to get to this chapter! I knew you would like it!! Hehe!

I tweaked with that letter so much to get it Petunia enough. I wanted to get her attitude without it being cruel and I'm so happy you thought I hit the right note!

In my head her first kiss was a very awkward one with Tig, another 7th year Gryffie, then the second (and a handful after) was with Alexander, the last 7th year Gryffie and Beater. They started dating during 5th year, which also started a lot of her and Severus's issues with seeing how possessive he could be, then broke up shortly after Severus called her a mudblood because she just didn't want anything to do with anyone. That's obviously all head canon, haha.

I'm so happy you liked their first kiss and this chapter. It was such a stressful one to write, and I was so worried it wouldn't come out the way I wanted to. Thank you so much for your awesome reviews ♥ I know I've said that so many times, and if I could think of any better way to say how appreciative I am I would. But you're stuck with my blabbery pool of mush ahaha.


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Review #10, by patronus_charm 

16th March 2013:
Wow that was a dramatic start to the chapter! There was just so much tension, anger and drama and it was just brilliant. I could understand where Remus was coming from, of course he would feel guilty asking his friends to come and help him, after Jamesí owl was shot out of the sky, and that was as well as the normal threat of him attacking the others.

I guess their determination to go with Remus no matter what shows what a good friend they are. And like James was thinking, it just shows how strong their friendship is, by their ability to overcome it. I liked the mention from Peter about James and Lily getting to spend time together, I was just awing as it was just so cute. And James didnít even deny that he was looking forward to it, and I was almost expecting him to do that.

I liked the banter between James and Lily, when James came into the heads room. It was just really light hearted, and it showed how close they had become. I liked the use of foreshadowing in this chapter. It was when James was talking about how loyal Peter was, and how he would always be suspicious. How wrong was James in thinking that? I have to give it to Peter that he had bad omen about Alrek as well, but still he ended up betraying them too.

I liked the scene when McGonagall and Dumbledore were talking to James and Lily. You managed to balance the levels of formality of them being their teacher, with them being the heads so they could be closer to them really well. The characterisation of them was perfect here, and you write Dumbledore so well. Whenever I write Dumbledore it tends to not work out too well!

Aw and the appearance of Butterscotch was adorable! I think Alice and Belle need a cat as well; they always help you out in tough times! It was nice to see Jamesí thoughts about he bought, and the fact that it was on an impulse, just makes it even more romantic. Haha I loved the fact that Remus and Peter shaved Jamesí legs; it just made me laugh so much!

The letter was perfect Ė so Petunia! The way she was bringing up the old insults about Lily being a witch was just like something she would do. There was also some parts were you could sense that Petunia still loved her, I think it was the mention about her moving, and the wedding. Even though they werenít worded in the nicest way, you could tell that she wanted Lily to know that, as she didnít have to include them. Perhaps this was a sign that she still wanted Lily in her life.

Even though Petunia sort of made clear that she didnít really want Lily at the wedding, it was nice to see that she was still invited. It was touching that she wanted a family member there, but I couldnít help but hate her at the same time, due to how mean she was to Lily.

So Lily and James are going somewhere together for the first time! How lovely :í) It was nice to see James ask rather hesitantly, itís always so cute to see how he loses his cool and confident demeanour around Lily. Then his thoughts about how his parents would be pleased that he was going, though they might lecture him on muggle things, seemed so fitting of the image I had been building of them in my head.

Aw! So they finally kissed :D I thought the build up to it was perfect! The way James was unsure of what he was doing, and at first he was only aiming to comfort her, then it just seemed natural for it to turn into something more! I was completely riveted by it all, and it was just perfectly written. When they actually kissed, I was just sitting here awing, and probably looking like an idiot! Oh well this is what Jilly makes me do;D

Haha Lilyís reaction to it though was perfect! Of course James being James would have to apologise, and then Lily to have a go at him for doing so. Then Lily finally revealed to him about why she didnít want to date him. I felt so proud of her for admitting that, and I guess it helped her overcome it, and change her mind, and when she said that she would like to be more, you could tell how happy James was.

This was just wonderful Jami!

-Kiana :D

P.S. the reviews seem to be getting longer and longer, sorry about that ;)

Author's Response: He Kiana ♥

I LOVE writing tension between the boys. You obviously know by now, but their friendships is one of my favorite things to focus on. They never stay angry for long, but when they all want to get their way and disagree, it's not a simple thing. They're personalities are so strong, especially when Remus is doing something for the purpose of trying to keep his friends safe. He doesn't want to back down, but he knows he really has no way out of it in this situation. Like Sirius says, he'll be in the shack transformed and they're going to do what they're going to do. Which is go help their friend *insert wub face*... these boys all just make my heart so warm and fuzzy, hehe.

I'm so happy you liked Dumbledore in this chapter! His sections alone usually take me longer than an entire chapter combined :P. The fact that he comes off very Dumbledorey makes me so happy!

I'm so happy you liked how James asked Lily if he could accompany her to the wedding. I do want to make sure not to let him come off as too confident where Lily is concerned, so I'm glad that he doesn't in this!

They kissed they kissed!! I really wanted to avoid the... I don't know... overly romantic first kiss I suppose. I wanted it to be scary, but still show how much he was drawn to her. And really, this wasn't the original plan for it to be now, but then I started and it just felt right and ahh I just want to hug you for saying that you enjoyed it ♥

Hahah long reviews are my favorite, no complains over here ;).

I can't even thank you enough for continuing to leave me your amazing thoughts and opinions. I get so excited when I see that I have a new review from you ♥


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Review #11, by Roots in Water 

9th March 2013:
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Sorry for the delay in writing it!

It finally happened! They finally kissed! :) I think that one of the things that I liked the most about your portrayal of their first kiss is that it seemed very natural. It worked beautifully within the context of their situation. It wasn't a giant, overly-dramatic moment- the war/danger of the time period lends more than enough dramatics to the situation. The slowness, the natural-ness of it, also fit wonderfully within their current relationship. They're both very hesitant and cautious with each other at the moment, afraid of losing each other and ruining their friendship. A rushed kiss would have destroyed that effect. Instead, you managed to keep the thoughtfulness of their relationship intact while increasing the emotional power of it.

As well, I really liked how you wrote the scene. Too many times I see these "first" scenes written purely from a physical angle... This manner, for me, only detracts from the scene itself because they are ignoring the most important part of it: the emotional aspect. I loved how you focused on his feelings both during and surrounding the moment: his joy, his worry, his thoughtfulness. It made their first kiss truly feel like a momentous occasion, just as it was meant to be.

As well, I'm very interested to see how their relationship will progress. Their relationship is still in a very grey area of "undefined romance" but at least they've cleared the air about their feelings for one another. Lily can rest easy, knowing that he won't start dating another girl (not that there was even a chance that he would do so in the first place).

Oh! One more thing about that scene! I really liked it when Lily said that they couldn't kiss in the Heads' room. Not only was it so very much her, but it also did double duty in ensuring that the Heads' room cliche would never rear its head in this story. Brilliantly done!

I think that you also did a great job with the discussion between the Marauders. It's definitely very clear that their argument came about because they care about each other... And the fact that it takes so long for one of them to give in just further shows the depth of their friendship. They are all willing to risk themselves to protect each other... And I continue to be so happy that you include Peter in discussions like these. He was a part of the Marauders, after all!

It will be interesting to see how this protectiveness translates during their time as a part of the Order of the Phoenix, because they will probably take on tasks that will separate them from each other, perhaps even on the days of the full moon... But that's a thought for a future time. :)

I think that you did a good job with Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore. I didn't notice anything glaringly (or even weakly) out of character with them.

I do have a comment about the letter, though. First of all, I think that you did a fantastic job of capturing Petunia's manner of writing/speaking and the confused mixture of feelings she holds towards Lily. I'm very eager to see how she and Vernon will react to James... That will surely be an interesting encounter! However, I was wondering if it would be possible to italicize the letter, especially since you broke it into several pieces. I just think that it would make it easier to identify its contents. :)

As well, I noticed a few typos that I'll quickly point out. To begin, with the phrase "your worth half the time", it should be "you're" and with the phrase "hurting a slugs feelings", it should be "slug's". With the phrase "the attackers original plan" it should be "attacker's" and with "get comfortable on is lap" it should be "his". Finally, with "into him we enough" it should be "was" instead of "we" and with "to say be both made" it should be "we" instead of "be".

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter. The feelings between the characters were expressed very well- everything felt very natural and realistic. As well, just as a reminder, I think that you did a great job with the interaction between Lily and James here! Thanks for requesting a review! It was my pleasure to read and review! :D

Author's Response: Hi Roots! (You know, I really want to call you by a real name. Haha).

They finally kissed!! Showing that James and Lily fell for one another because of who they are and not because of the war is one of my biggest goals. Of course the time they were living in enhanced their desire to do things like get married, but it's one of my biggest goals to show a true love story. I'm so happy that you felt like it was natural ♥

I love the unsure sort of position they're in. They care about each other so much but are so confused and young and ugh I love it haha. But you're right, there's no way he'll be dating anyone else anytime soon.

Ahh that was exactly what I wanted to show! Yes, they did just kiss in the Heads Quarters, but no, that's not going to turn into a love den :P. Thank goodness for Lily and her logical, rule following brain :P

Peter has become so much easier for me to write than he used to be. I actually find myself sticking up for him when he's left out now. I'm really excited for book two where we start seeing what happens to Peter to get him at the point he ends up.

Oh gosh I thought I'd edited this to italicize the letter. I must've forgot the opening tag. Thank you so much for pointing that out! I'm really happy that you thought the letter was well done. One of the newer chapters is the one that shows the dinner, and I have to say writing Vernon ended up being so much more fun than I thought it would be, haha.

Thank you so much for the typos! I'm going back and editing them in the second I submit this. I always feel like my chapters are so polished after a review from you, hehe. I love it. And I know I say this all the time, but thank you again for pointing the actual typos out.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you think that characters and their interactions are well done ♥ thank you so much for stopping by for another amazing review ♥

Jami


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Review #12, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

9th February 2013:
This is my 200th review! (Well, not really, since I've left a lot of reviews on stories that have since been deleted, but close enough...) And I couldn't think of any story I'd rather leave it on :)

Wow, this chapter is a rollercoaster of emotion, isn't it? I'll just start at the top and work my way through. I really enjoyed the opening scene between the boys. I know I've mentioned it many times before, but I just love the interplay between them. Their relationships with each other are just as dynamic as any romance, and the back-and-forth here was great fun to read. They really all do have very strong personalities, and at times, you know that's bound to cause conflict. Of course, what they are fighting over all comes from a place of caring and protection, but they argue nonetheless.

You mentioned the Dumbledore/McGonagall scene in your post... I think I've mentioned before that I like the way you portray both characters, and that stands for this chapter too. Of course, I doubt under normal circumstances, the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress would meet personally with students over an injured animal, but we already know the Order has their eye on these two, and I suspect Dumbledore might already have a few ideas on what might be going on at his school, even if he doesn't care to share them here. In terms of James's worry about his parents, I think he rationalizes his desire to keep them safe by lying to them very well. I do wonder a bit though why Dumbledore is so quick to agree to it. James is young so it may not occur to him, but wouldnít not telling the Potters at least something about what happened actually leave them at risk?

The letter from Petunia wasn't at all what I was expecting. I must have forgot that Lily had used it so I was expecting it to be for James. And while that might have actually been really fun to read, this makes a lot more sense, and I thought it worked really well. I like the way you continue to develop her and Lily's relationship. It's easy to just say they hate each other and leave it at that, but family is never that simple, right? Petunia still gets to take the high-ground here, making it sound like she's doing Lily the favor by allowing her to come to the wedding (and not missing a chance to through in a few jabs about the way Lily looks or the date she might bring), but clearly Lily knows her sister well enough to see this letter for the peace-offering it really is. Sibling relationships are complicated and I think you do this one a lot of justice by having them retain some (even if partially reluctant) contact.

And now to the kiss (but first, thank you for the lovely compliment in your review request -- though I won't pretend to be an expert on writing romance by any stretch of the imagination). James and Lily is a hard ship to write (IMHO) because you don't have the luxury of will-they/won't they. We already know that unless the story is totally AU, the definitely WILL. So that only leaves you with when and how. I think you totally set the tone for the whole scene to unfold early on with James's line:

Sure, he'd spent years telling her he was mad for her, but back then it was her waves of cinnamon hair and the way she smiled that caught his attention. What he felt then was nothing compared to the way he felt about her now.

That's the perfect WHEN... when James is at the point where he loves Lily for who she is, not how pretty she looks or how nice she is to others. Of course, James has been super supportive of her throughout the story, and not at all shallow in his feelings, but that was a really sweet moment, a great set-up for what follows.

In a zoomed-out view, I thought you did a great job with capturing the range of emotions, as you said, moving from the talking, to the wanting, to the kissing, and then to the worrying. I thought the light touches of humor in the lead-up were lovely -- Lily's line "He thinks he's so big and tough, but youíre tougher, aren't you?" was too adorable! And I thought the following was the most honest-feeling moment of the entire scene:

"If it helps, I can count the girls I've kissed on one hand."

"And the girls you've..."

"On one finger."

Simple but full of meaning -- perfectly executed!

If I can critique anything, it might be that the scene lacked a little tension, or a total sense of immediacy that often comes with a first kiss. It didn't feel like James was ever quite able to get out of his own head and just be in the moment. He almost got there with lines like:

-- Every part of him that was saying he couldn't let this happen, she wasn't ready for the next step, became drowned out by the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

-- All of the warmth that their hug had held, all of the tension that was forever pulsing between them, gave way to a heat that James could have only dreamed about feeling.

But there is still a more intellectual feel here as opposed to just letting go and living the moment. I totally agree that they would immediately discuss what just happened -- that's just the kind of couple they are. But that also serves to cut the tension. Maybe even just making the sentences in the kiss a bit shorter would ratchet up that exact instant of the kiss all that much more. For a second, maybe they could just be two teenagers snogging. I think they deserve it :P

Well, no surprises here, but this is another wonderful chapter. I can't wait to see where we go next!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by to leave your 200 ♥

Your comment about their relationship being just as dynamic as a friendship made my day. I really want to show how important they are to each other. They weren't just the kind of friends you meet in school and enjoy hanging out with occasionally. I was about to go onto a ramble about how they'd have died for each other, even Peter at this point would have, but I realized I'd get all feelsy so I'm not moving on. Haha.

My head canon reason for Dumbledore not getting involved and telling James's parents is that he almost wants to test James. Not exactly like that... but he knows in about seven months, he's going to be asking this boy to become part of the order and he's giving him the respect of a man, even if he's still closer to a boy. Another reason is honestly just that I don't want the Potters involved much more, or they might as well just be apart of the Order. Haha. but the first reason sounds better :P

I regret not making the letter Lily sent to Petunia more noticeable. It's mentioned in two chapter, but briefly. The last mention of it is chapter 11 when James offers to send Beowulf back to Petunia's... maybe I can try and make that stand out more?

I'm so happy you liked the letter. There's too much canon evidence that they didn't just stop talking for good. With her being at the wedding and the vase she sent them for Christmas... so i really want a relationship, though a very fragile one, to be evident. And I really just want to keep reading this review again and again. Haha. I'm over here smiling at every new thing you say.

No ones pointed out that scene yet! The 'one one hand/on one finger' one, and I'm so happy you did because it feels like such an important part to me! haha. It was important for me not to make James completely innocent, but also far from a womanizing thing. I'm so happy you pointed it out, I was worrying that I'd made the meaning too subtle.

I like the idea of letting him just get to 'let go' and enjoy for a few seconds before they go into freak out mode... I'll definitely play with it a bit.

Thank you so much for your always insightful reviews ♥



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Review #13, by ValWitch21 

7th February 2013:
James and Lily banter was so adorable and well-written in this chapter, and your chapter image, gorgeous again, was a perfect highlight.

That letter from Petunia, I can't possibly tell you how perfect it is. I could hear her and see her as she is in the books and film, and she wasn't even here!

I've got to say I really, really admire the way you smoothly switch points of view. This was, again, a perfect chapter.

Tell me when I get repetitive, okay? &hearts

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked the CI! I just requested three from the same girl for the newest three, yay!!

Ahh I'm so, so excited you could really hear Petunia through that letter. I wanted her personality to come through, that's for sure.

You're never getting repetitive! I LOVE hearing what you think of the chapters ♥ I'm the one that can no longer figure out ways to say, 'thank you so much!' hehe.

♥ Jami


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Review #14, by Grace 

24th January 2013:
YAY!!! I love it, please write more!!! I may or may not be addicted now . . . :)

Author's Response: Hi darling! Thank you so much for this review!! New chapters are posted Saturdays, so one will be up in a few days :)!

I'm so happy you're enjoying this ♥
Jami


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Review #15, by LovlyRita 

17th January 2013:
Alright! I am here and I am ready and let's do this!!! :D

Wait, what? Someone killed James' owl? Wait, WHAT? Did that happen in the last chapter? *goes to check* LOL Whoops. I totally forgot about that. *ahem* ignore me.

Ok, I'm loving this strong Remus you have here. He is by far my favorite marauder, I adore him, and I like to see him get a little angry here. Of course he has every right to feel like he does, but he's so hot when he's mad, isn't he? isn't he? Well he is in my mind :P

Ugh you had to interrupt this cute little Jily thing happening here with some talk about that Alrek? I don't like him, he's like gross, why you gotsta ruin the moment with him? Going back to the whole Jily thing, I love their little exchange whenever they first see each other. It kind of makes me want to google what a...t word is, 'cause I don't actually know what that means. It's like that with a lot of british swears, as it should turn out. And speaking of which, I love that swears that can be pretty bad in the UK are basically harmless here. It's so fabulous. Except I can't mention any of them because I have to stay 12+. Sad panda.

Anyway, back on track. Oh James' owl isn't gonna die. I thought he was already dead. Ok, clearly I need to focus on the details here. Well, in any case, yay for alive owl.

Ok so I want to talk a little bit about a description that you used that really caught my eye. Specifically, Olivia's Arthritis, and how the pain could "seep" through even after she had used potions to shut it up. That was brilliant, and it's of course so totally true. I just kind of liked the thought of it, like that the pain was muted but still there. It was great! well done!

I love how McGonagall keeps emphasizing how much homework they have. "Yeah, ya crazy kids, keep ya hands off eachotha before ya end up on Teen Mom." She said it just like that too, in my head.

Oh Petunia, she really knows how to bridge a long absence with heartfelt sincerity doesn't she? She's getting married in Wales? That's fun :P LOL don't wear anything that clashes with your hair. Oh she is JUST a ball of sunshine. I guess Lily's wearing orange then, amirite?!

Ooooh they kissed oh la la! Jily feels all around! *ignores Jily feels.*

Ok so now I'm at the end of the chapter. Again, I have to commend you for writing a brilliantly realistic and plausible James/Lily story without a lot of the typical stereotypes. You've made your characters likeable and unlikeable, but like I've said again and again, most strikingly, you have made them real. And the fact that you continue to weave the story and progress the plotline this far without solely focusing on the romance portion, or the action portion, or the mystery, is just great. It advances evenly which is fabulous.

Of course, as much as I don't particularly care for reading this pairing I do very much enjoy reading your version of it. As I've said before I am a total fan of all things canon, and we know how canon this stupid pairing is so I guess I'll just have to go with it :P I won't say you've converted me but I will say you've made me more tolerant. That's all you're getting from me, you hear? That's it! No more! :P

Amazing chapter! So well done :)

Author's Response: Ashley!

Sorry for taking ages to respond :(. A killer cold got me.

Your reviews are always so much fun to read. This is why you get me addicted to them, because you make them funnn!

Remus is ABSOLUTELY hot when he's mad. All controly and Alpha and yum.

Hahaha I love learning new British swear words. And then it's so weird because they're not really swear words! But they are... and yeah. Brits. Coming up with non sweary swear words.

I'm really happy that you liked the description of Olivia and William's health. I wanted to make it clear that these people may be witches and wizards, but their bodies are still 80 year old bodies. Most 80 year olds would be bed ridden, so their doing a ton better than muggles, but that doesn't man their spring chickens.

Hahahah I'm imagining Lily in bright orange with orange eyeshadow looking like a human carrot. Petunia would LOVE that :P

DON'T IGNORE YOUR JILY FEELS. LET THEM OVERTAKE YOU.

I am totally going to make up with the amount of Jily feels that I made you endure this chapter with a nice little look into our favorite crazy villain next chapter. She's getting her nails nice and sharp just for you...and making her curls extra insane.

I WILL CONVERT YOU. I WILL. My new goal in life is to make you cry by the end of this. Yep. Mwahahaha ♥

I love you and your awesome reviews ♥



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Review #16, by CambAngst 

13th January 2013:
Gah! Finally! You are bad, Jami. Bad, I say! You have made us all wait so long for this to happen. Then you make everything right in a few short, amazing moments! This is how you make us love you.

The chapter starts off with picture-perfect Remus. He's selfless and over-protective to the point of being angry at his friends for putting themselves at risk to help him. The overabundance of caution and the sincere concern for the well-being of the others over his own is spot-on characterization for the man who was willing to abandon his own wife and child because he convinced himself that it would make them safer. Every word was perfect.

You slipped a lot of great character material into the first section for James, as well. The boy is powerfully stubborn. It keeps coming up in this story that he's used to getting his own way, and here we see him going head to head with Remus's own stubbornness and managing to come out on top, if only barely. James Potter doesn't lose. He's also worked out a few other things, like the probably meaning of the attack on Beowulf. The war is suddenly very personal for him, even more so than when the Bones family was attacked.

James and Lily have such an easy manner with one another in this chapter, which is doubly meaningful, given the very tense circumstances. It's nice to see them kidding around to take the edge off. I adore James's crack about the glasses up the... um, that curse almost as much as I love the way that he can't understand why Lily doesn't like the way she looks when she laughs. Why is it that the people who love us most always seem to find the little things we don't like about ourselves so endearing?

Yes! I was wondering how you were planning to keep Lily away from old Durmstrang. Things could be better, obviously, but I'm quite pleased that she's not at Slughorn's party with him. Nothing good could have come from that.

Once again, I think you did a really good job of capturing McGonagall and Dumbledore. The quirky way that Dumbledore derails the whole conversation for a moment to ask about the name of James's owl was a perfect fit with his inquisitive nature. And to top it all off, he gives James and Lily a bit of a stump speech on doing what is needed instead of what is easy. Ooh! McGonagall didn't like that one bit. I really like it when you highlight the differences of opinion that exist even among those who are on the same side in this war.

James's concern for his parents was really touching and sounded perfect for him. As an only child, I'm sure that his parents were his whole world until he was old enough to attend Hogwarts. Throughout his years of school, they've happily opened their home to all of his friends, especially Sirius. And I imagine that learning about Sirius's horrible childhood gave him a lot of insight on just how good he had things. Now all he wants to do is make sure that they stay safe.

I'm with James on this one. It was really great to see Lily maintain her head and not fall apart over what happened to Beowulf. Even though her analysis of the situation is a bit naive -- I don't recall hearing of any other post owls being attacked on their way to or from Hogwarts -- it's good to see her attacking the problem with her rational mind instead of letting her emotions carry her away. This is the Lily Potter we've always heard about: brilliant, calm and brave.

Aww, there's Butterscotch again! Bundles of cuteness. I absolutely loved James's recollections of his past impulsive decisions, especially the one about the water beds. That had to be one of the dumbest fads of the 1980's. Back to Butterscotch, however, he's another awesome means of lowering the tension and the remaining walls that exist between James and Lily.

Once again, I'm with James on the topic of Petunia. What a horrible, shallow, vapid, prejudiced, snide, mean-spirited, vengeful, unimaginative, cheap... so I'm thinking of a word that rhymed with "runt". Anyway, if you were trying to show us that Lily Evans is a saintly person who is able to look past the very worst traits that people can throw at her and still find something positive to take away from it, you succeeded in spades.

Ah, but Lily isn't the only one who can find the good in the situation. Go, big lunkhead, go!

And then... and then... YES! I feel like there should have been fireworks. Anyway, they finally kiss! All of your physical descriptions of the way that James's body gradually overrides his mind were beautifully done. There is so much fire and chemistry in this scene. I think these were my two favorite sentences of the entire chapter:

"Yet, this wasn't a dream. As he finally closed the last flicker of distance between them and caught her lips with his, he was almost certain it couldnít be reality, either."

Gah! Brilliant!

From there, he retraces just a bit, making sure that he hasn't done anything terribly wrong. I thought you did an amazing job of capturing the awkwardness and the misgivings that both of them have about taking the plunge into the next phase of their relationship. Then entire conversation about going from being "friends" to "not just friends" was fantastic. All of their anxieties matched up perfectly with the way that you've built up their characters and relationship for fourteen and a half chapters now. But they manage to talk though it, and I think that process makes them even more aware that what they're doing is right.

The second kiss is every bit as tantalizing as the first. I am dying to find out how all of this played out from Lily's point of view. Normally, I'm not a big fan of stories where the author will retell the same scene from another character's point of view, but I'd totally forgive that in this case. Even if you don't, I can't wait for when she spills to Belle and Alice!

Such a beautiful, well-written and long-awaited chapter! I enjoy reading these two so much in your words! FANTASTIC!

Author's Response: Yay that little HPFF glitch didn't last long!

Okay--

Hi *insert fanatic wave here*

YES. That's exactly what I was thinking of in this first section. What he tries to do with Teddy and Tonks. He convinces himself people would be better, safer without him. But right now he's still young enough that the fact that they do want to be with him, that they care so much about him, is really all it takes for him to cave. And putting James's kind of patient but everlasting stubbornness against Remus's very rare one was really fun. I feel like James is one of those metal balls taht hits the other and they just keep going and going and going. He doesn't change their mind, he doesn't let up, and he usually manages to maintain his own frustration and keep it at bay to get what he wants. Sneaky boy.

I was actually pretty happy at the idea of adding a few recollections of James's about his past impulsive decisions. I'll never understand waterbeds. Ever. They are terribly uncomfortable, there's the chance your bed could leak into your house, and you feel like your sleeping on a tiny boat. Not a fan. haha.

Petunia really isn't the nicest person in the world :(. But I think when Lily compares the letter her sister wrote to all the different things she imagined a letter would say if Petunia ever responded, this one was much nicer. But it's definitely not hard to see how, in just a few years, Petunia will be the woman who put so much emotional abuse on a poor orphaned infant :(.

I get so scared when I write those two professors. I swear, they make themselves difficult on purpose. I'm so happy that they seemed right. I had fun inserting James's little thoughts about not being in the mood for riddles, because I'm sure they all wanted to strangle Dumbledore half the time.

I still can't believe that they kissed and sort of started dating all in this chapter. IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN YET. CAN'T YOU NAUGHTY CHARACTERS DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD? Really though, they were supposed to have a very quick first kiss then get very awkward/pull away/ just friends thing. But then, with what Lily and Belle and Alice talked about the other night, with Lily realizing how much she wanted James to go to Slughorn's with her... I really just felt like she would have started backing off of the 'let's just be friends' mantra. And then of course my amazing beta reminded me that this *is* chapter 15... so I suppose I'm not really moving too fast... ;)!

I'm trying to figure out the perfect way to get Lily's thoughts on it all this very minute!

Thank you so much Dan for just being so amazingly perfect. It's such a relief knowing I have you just an email (or a few dozen emails, depending on my current patience level) away when I need help/freak out that a chapter is terrible/or just whenever :P.


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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

13th January 2013:
Hello - I'm back again! With a full review this time haha!

Oh Lily and James. Just yes. I think I just need a moment to revel in the loveliness of it all. Okay on with actually reviewing...

I thought the first part was really quite sweet. The loyalty and friendship the four boys share just shines through so clearly and you got the characterisation of them all spot on. Remus worrying about their safety but the boys worrying about leaving Remus alone. I was kind of glad Remus caved - I didn't like thinking of him alone.

Hmm you've certainly given us plenty to think about with the attack on Beowolf. I'm still inclined to think it's Alrek as, as previously mentioned, I will happily blame him for anything (I also have other reasons which I will mention later) but I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Oh when Lily came in - I think those first few lines, where she said about being past calling each other and hexing and James reply, were some of my favourites. They just made me laugh so much - especially as you told me you hate focusing about that part of their relationship. I don't know - it just made me smile anyway!

I really like the way you write Dumbledore. He seemed to say things a bit out of the blue like he does in the series and that made him seem very canon. The bit about Beowolf and friendship in particular struck me as him meaning more than he was actually saying possibly? I don't know - maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Poor James being frightened by Butterscotch! I love it when you bring him up - he's just too cute.

I didn't really know what to make of Petunia's letter. She seemed to be being really nice for her (inviting Lily to the wedding and so on) while still calling her a freak. But it was nice to see that it was a positive response in Lily's eyes although I know that won't last and get better which is sad. Oh and I'm thrilled she agreed to take James!

Oh the last bit! Just yes! It was so beautifully written and I like that you kept Lily's uncertainty in there as obviously it would be unrealistic for her to suddenly change her mind so drastically but also because it made it that much sweeter and endearing. Then James beating himself up as he hadn't let her make the first move. Just yes. Perfection. I loved the whole part before that when he lost control too. Then they were still unsure and worrying and what if-ing. They are honestly just too cute.

Two things I noticed in this chapter that got me thinking (always dangerous) and I may be way off the mark and over thinking of course but they had me worried...

First was the part about Peter not trusting Alrek. Is this the start of his path leading to his ultimate betrayal? Does he know something about Alrek he isn't mentioning? Or is it just as James thinks... He's so loyal to James and doesn't like the fact Alrek seems to be getting in the way of Lily and James? I made that sound way too dramatic but anyway, I couldn't help but worry...

The other part was a mix of things... the letter has been intercepted so the interceptor more than likely knows Lily is going to Petunia's wedding. Any person with eyes will know that Lily is likely to take James. A few may even know she's staying with them over christmas. Now, thinking back to when Alrek was in the Shrieking Shack I vaguely remember him plotting something to happen to James and therefore Lily at christmas and this being the first of the three times Lily and James survive an attack from Voldemort. Okay so now my brain is seriously worrying that Alrek knows they're going to the wedding and is going to spring the first attack on them then (which I know they're going to survive but still) and it's not only going to be scary and so on but it's also going to ruin Petunia's wedding (which as much as I don't like her I wouldn't wish on her) and ruin their relationship!

Okay sorry for the essay on my inner thoughts there I just couldn't stop thinking about where you're going to take it!

I am sorry I'm not leaving any CC or anything again. I do honestly look to suggest things but I just love the story the way it is so I don't really have anything to offer... sorry!

Sorry for the long review - I got carried away as always. Another amazing chapter though! I loved it!

Lauren

Author's Response: How am I even going to respond to this amazingness?? Okay... I guess I should start at the beginning :P

I'm so happy you thought the first section with the four of them was sweet, I actually do too. I love the chances when I get to just focus on these four, even if it's just for a few paragraphs.

I have to say... I'm a big fan of your 'blame everything on Alrek' plan :P

I don't think you can ever read too much into Dumbledore... ;). I definitely think that his last bit before Minerva caught him off had another meaning behind it.

Ahhh I was so worried about getting that first kiss and their reactions to it wrong. honestly, it wasn't even supposed to happen in this chapter. It was supposed to get very close, and then they were going to kind of laugh it off. But then I turn around for two seconds and my naughty characters are off kissing and 'not just friends'... what am I supposed to do with these two?!

Haha really though, it was almost as surprising to be me that they kissed. But I really didn't want them to just be 'oh awesome we're good now.' because there's still so much uncertainty on Lily's part if what she's doing is right. But then everything gets to the point where you just have to stop worrying and let things fall where they may.. I think that's where Lily is at right now. I'm just really, really excited that you liked it ♥

Your thoughts on Alrek are really, really interesting. I'll tell you that, no, Peter doesn't know anything extra about him. For now, Peter is still Peter. Their best mate. It will be some time until the first step that begins his betrayal is taken.

The letter being intersected, who intersected it, and who is about to learn even more about what Lily and James plan to do over Christmas are all very important...and I swear your brain works too well for it's own good! Haha! You are a very perceptive reader, m'dear!

Please never, ever apologize for a long review! You have no idea how much I look forward to these, and how much hearing (well, reading) your thoughts on what might happen makes me smile. It's so awesome to have someone who loves this group so much reading my story, and I turn into a constant mush of mushy-ness each time I see your reviews ♥





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Review #18, by MissMdsty 

12th January 2013:
Half way through this, I was seriously considering being mad at you if anything happened and they would fight or be mad at each other at the wedding!

Then, as you said in the comment on the forum, I loved you by the end of it (not that I didn't love you before, just more so right now). They are simply too cute for words and I love how naturally they fall into each other. I've said it last chapter but I'll say it again, I love it when they can just be young and do things young people do, like over complicate romantic relationships and drive themselves up walls with what-ifs and made up scenarios in their heads. Your poor characters really need a break.

Now that I got my James/Lily fix, I need a Sirius/Belle fix, since it's been too long since I saw some fluffy interactions between the two.

I suppose I should be a good reader and offer some constructive criticism, but you are flawless and amazing as usual and I can't find anything I'd like to see differently. What I like best is how you take the various snippets that canon gives us and incorporate them so beautifully into this story that everything just falls into place.

I'm ending my review here for the time being, leaving you with something to think of, that I'm on the edge of my seat until your next update!

Ral

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked this chapter ♥ AND I will give you more Sirius Belle VERY soon. Geeze, keepin' me on my toes over here ;).√ā¬†

That's what I love so much, too. All the what ifs They kissed and they don't know where to go from there and there's so much tension about it and just all that first real love, all the feelings that go along with it... they absolutely deserve that and I'm so happy you like how I portray them in this ♥

I'm trying to be a good girl and stick to the update Saturdays, at the longest, so the most you'll have to wait is a weak! BUT missy, I don't see any new chapters from you! But now I'm going to go click on your name after I post this to make sure I'm not missing out on anything ;)



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