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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
Oh no! J, why couldn't you spare the owl. Hmph! But Petunia wrote back to her? I'm guessing it's going to be something horrid or maybe it won't be. Or maybe it'll be her telling Lily she's engaged or something and she doesn't want her there. Or that she's been seeing things, odd things, bad things.

Or I'm just looking into this too much because that's what I do.

And uh, Alek. Gross. Seriously, he's a slimy character. Anyway, I thought the potion scene was very well thought out. I actually quite enjoyed reading it! Normally I skim those parts because I can tell you for a fact I would not have been good at potions. I burn everything I cook.

...I still eat it though.

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Review #2, by Remus 

8th September 2013:
Jami! My darlin'! I'm finally here!! Ugh, I feel horrible for taking forever to review this. I'll eventually finish the story and dive into the sequel! I PROMISE!!!

Can I just say that I love, love, LOOVE the fact that you walk us through a whole class? I mean, that for me is a very brave thing to do. Some of us (and I definitely add myself to this) just sort of skim over that part of the student's life but you made this very realistic in a sense. Very canon. And I just love that about this story. From the lecture we saw to the potions class...that's just brilliant.

To be honest, I do see Alice wearing the trousers in the relationship. But only in a way that he loves her so much that he hates to disappoint her and wishes to do everything in his power to make her happy. Its cute...and...sad at the same time because we know what happens to them. Oh so heartbreaking!

WHAT! Is James just THICK?! Here is Lily, asking the guy out on a date and he says NO?! NO?!?!?! HE'S KILLING ME!!! I mean, what else does Lily need? A signage that blinks?! I mean, I get why he said no, and its pretty noble of him to stick with his friend in need than to go out with the girl of his dreams but even when he's told that it'll be ok, basically getting permission, he still sort of refuses! And then the big moment when she tells him that she's going with Alrek.

OMG!

I'm reading this on my tablet before going to bed and just screamed in frustration. My hubby didn't appreciate. Hahaha! But GAAAH!!! Those two are just killing me. They need to get together already!!! :S

Anyway!! Hahaha! I love the end though! I wonder what Petunia is going to say in that letter. In fact, my quite shocked that she wrote back... :S Knowing her, she just wrote a nasty letter. Ugh.

Alright so I just probably go to bed now...its past 2am. Hahaha.

Until next time, my dear!!

--Rosie

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Review #3, by nott theodore 

15th August 2013:
Jami!

I think that a lot of authors forget that one of the biggest lures of the books is the fact that we get to learn about magic at the same time that Harry does; I love the fact that you're including these class scenes in the story and that you manage to write them in such an interesting and compelling way! It's quite a nice calm chapter to read after all the revelations in the last one! But it's great that even when you include these scenes you develop the plot and the characters during them.

The Tachycardia Curse was a great invention - seriously, how do you manage to come up with these things? The explanations that you included about how it works were so interesting and believable (to be honest, I know absolutely nothing about that sort of thing but I'm sure it all makes sense to those who do!). I'm glad that Abigail was kind of taught a lesson today, because she has to go further than what she's been told to do in order to earn points. Remus and Lily coming up with the answers felt right and I liked the inventiveness of Remus's answer!

Also, the mention of Butterscotch was so cute! Every time that he appears I get an adorable reminder of what James has done for Lily ♥ The bit with Alice keeping Frank in line really made me laugh - those sorts of jokes help to remind me that this group is just a group of normal teenagers living their lives in the midst of a war.

The potions lesson was really fascinating to read about. It was great to see Lily so absorbed in her work as one of the few facts we know from canon is that Lily was brilliant at potion. That lesson showed her intelligence and her analytical thinking; I can imagine her becoming a healer and it's going to be interesting to see if she ever gets to pursue a career or if the war will prevent her from doing so. The water egg was something that seems to fit so perfectly with the world of HP that I wouldn't be surprised if JK had invented it, the way that you described the properties in depth.

Aw, Lily noticing about the way Belle and Sirius were working together was so cute! They seem like they'd make a great couple (although I can imagine there will be some pretty fiery arguments between them) with the way that they work together - it was made even sweeter by the fact that neither of them realised they were being watched by Lily (or us, of course!).

Thank you so much for not making Peter a complete dunce! "He was usually very capable at potions" I know I've said this in previous reviews but your characterisation of Peter is so refreshing to read. You're actually making me like him in this, which is a real achievement since I hate the way he betrayed his friends. It's going to be hard for me when it gets to that point, but at the moment I'm pretty content to like him and see him as the good friend that he is here.

The invites to the party! Oh, Lily was so brave to ask James to go with her, and of course it just had to be at a time when he couldn't go because his best friend is turning into a werewolf - and he can't even give her a proper excuse because she doesn't know about Remus' condition yet! You wrote their feelings so well there, and they just fit perfectly. I felt so sorry for James and Lily at the same time!

I really enjoyed the boys working out a plan to try and persuade James to actually go to the party with Lily. It's sweet to see how much they care about him and his chance with Lily - it's not always easy to put your friends first in a situation like that, especially when it could potentially put Sirius and Peter in danger if they can't control Remus. And at the same time James is worried about what will happen to them if he lets them go alone, but is torn because of the opportunity to go to the party with Lily. I really think you write the friendship better than any of the other writers I've read on this site, and they're just so sweet here!

I was also really happy to get an explanation about why they hadn't told Frank about Remus or why he didn't transform with them. It's not a question that had been annoying me or anything, but since they seem like really good friends and have all lived together for seven years, it was good to get that explanation about why the Marauders are closer and have secrets they haven't shared with Frank.

Oh dear, nothing is ever going to be simple where James and Lily are concerned, is it? I know that they can't get together already, but I just want them to be able to have a nice night in each other's company! But no, of course Alrek has to come along and claim Lily as a date (okay, it was technically the other way around, but still...) so poor James gets upset and Lily is going to the party with a Death Eater. I definitely feel like Alrek's going to get closer to the group and they won't realise that he is actually dangerous to them. Maybe the boys might start to suspect something, probably just because of the threat to James and Lily, but I'm still worried!

This letter from Petunia is so interesting! The fact that someone has tried to read the letter is intriguing, and I wonder if it's because they know that it's James' owl or just that people are trying to check mail going into the castle. One thing I'm grateful for in being so behind is that I know I can read on straight away and find out what's going to happen!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi my darling! I hope you've seem my mentions in statuses about being away, but if you haven't, that's why this response has taken so damn long! I'm going all around the country right now and visiting family, and trying so hard to keep up with HPFF stuff but apparently not doing so well :P

Aw I'm so excited that you liked the class scenes! I have so much fun making up curses and spells and all that, hehe. And I totally agree about Abigail needing a nice little reminder that she's not all that. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted Remus or Lily to give that answer, but it felt better for Remus to.

I was terrified people would quit half way through the potions lesson because, well, I don't think everyone likes learning about magic stuff as much as I do *hides* So I'm really relieved that you liked the potions lessons! And the water egg! You're making me blush over here, missy.

Yeah I'm with you on not being able to stand when Peter is made into a complete dunce. I'm so excited you're warning up to him, and if I'm able to write it how it is in my head, I think you'll feel more sorry for him than angry at him when the betrayal finally happens. Not that there are any excused for what he did, but I do hope to show it from a different perspective. Also, I hope this response is making sense. I'm currently have some younger cousins running in and out and trying to tune them all out and respond to your amazingness!

Aww Sian! Your compliment about how I write friendship is such a huge deal to me! I love that aspect of the relationships in marauders era just as much as the romances. Seriously, can I just come squeeze you?!

Hahaha no! Things can't be simple with James and Lily! What kind of fun would that be?! :P

Thank you so much for another amazing review, Sian! I'm really trying to get caught up on responses, so hopefully you'll see more from me! I'm in California until next week, then will be back in Idaho for a week and a half before going back to NY, but in Idaho I'll have a lot more time so hopefully I'll be back on the forums and in the CR lots!

Thank you so much again, m'dear ♥


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Review #4, by Courtney Dark 

29th April 2013:
I actually really love the way you incorporate the class scenes into your chapters, because I think a lot of people forget about them, and I've always enjoyed reading about the magical elements at Hogwarts and the schoolwork they have to do - after all, they are students and I'm fairly certain that being a student requires a large amount of work.

Also, I've always seen Lily as being very committed to her studies, so I think the fact that you focused on the Potions class quite a bit in this chapter was a good thing - it was great to see Lily in her element and to see the group of friends working together.

I've said it before but I'll say it again anyway, because of unoriginal and can't think of anything creative to say: I really love your Peter. In this chapter it was clear that he struggled more making the Potion than any of his other friends but he wasn't completely useless, as many other fanfictions suggest (if they even include Peter.) I'm also glad that he actually seems to be really close to Sirius and James and Remus - often the other marauders seem to completely forget him!

I actually really like reading bits and pieces about the close relationship between Remus and Lily - I remember Remus telling Harry that he and Lily were quite close, so it is very nice to see. And it's great that Remus' sensible side (occasionally) balances out his friends.

Agh, James! How unfortunate that Remus' turn happened to be on the same night that Lily invited him to Slughorn's party for a sort of date. But I'm glad that Remus was so good about it - your characters are all turning out to be so different and so fun to read about it that I'd find it difficult to pick one or even two favourites.

No Lily! Don't go with Alrek! Gah, that little bit really made me grind my teeth together! But anyway, I loved this chapter obviously.

TTFN!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: I got so carried away with class stuff in this chapter but it was just so much fun! Haha! I'm really glad that you liked it thought and it didn't just put you to sleep.

Peter is definitely one that I never thought I'd enjoy writing but really do. And really, you could tell me you love something a hundred times and I'd still be just as exciting each time. Knowing you're actually reading this, reading it. Not just reading one chapter and being like, 'no this is too long,' is just such an awesome compliment. I'm so happy you're enjoying this and I wish so much I had a better way to tell you that.

Hahahah that little Alrek issue was actually a spur the moment thing, and I sort of had an evil cackle while writing it.

I'm so excited that you'd have a hard time picking a favorite. That makes me feel like I'm doing something right with these characters!

Thank you again for another absolutely amazing review ♥


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Review #5, by Pixileanin 

29th April 2013:
You know what? You had the perfect title for this chapter. I think that "Build Up" sums everything up nicely. End of review.

Just kidding! I read this quite a while ago, all of your chapters actually, but I find that writing a new story and reviewing someone else's story don't mix well in my head. So now that I'm out of my own head for a bit, I thought I'd jump into your story and see if I can string a few words together to express how it made me feel.

Aww, first off there's the warm and fuzzy with the mention of Butterscotch again. I really love furballs, and to give Lily that extra sense of comfort was a brilliant touch. I had a roommate in college that snuck a contraband kitten into our dorm room for a semester and it was fabulous for a while... though I think that poor animal had some serious mental issues after its dorm experience... off topic... anyway...

I especially like the professor's explanation to Abigail for awarding points to another student. Abigail needs to know that extra points are for extra hard work, not for doing what is expected of you. *nods*

Aside from that, or rather, more importantly, I love how you purposefully use all of your story to show us your characters. I feel like every sentence gives us important pieces of their portraits, sometimes even more than a few pieces of the picture from different angles, and it's just lovely to read so much detail into the story without feeling like I'm getting lots of detail from the story. Your economy with words is truly skilled.

I can tell you love these classroom scenes, and it works in your story, because Lily loves the classroom scenes just as much as you do, making it pertinent to the story. And if Lily didn't love being in the classroom so much, and if she didn't have such a keen eye for all the details of things, we would have missed the cutest little scene ever, with Belle and Sirius working on their potion. Aww, that was so adorable, and it made it even more special that they didn't even realize that they were being watched by Lily... and all the rest of us. :)

James stepping in to be the honorable one after Lily's offer really surprised me. Oh gosh, and so unexpected! I loved how you turned it around and had his friends talk him into going with her. That showed how close those boys were, that they would want James to finally spend some time with Lily rather than help them out. And then you twisted it on us again by having Alrek step in. I don't like that Alrek fellow at all, but at least he provided an excellent plot twist. Gotta be good for something, right? Haha!

And then the owl!!! And the letter from Petunia!!!

Okay, that was my shock reaction to your scene twist at the end, so well done on that!

And the chapter is over!!!


Haha, that was my first reaction to the chapter, but luckily, I can just go on from here. Lucky me! Wonderful chapter fourteen!

Author's Response: Pixi! This was such an awesome surprise!

And now I have a confession. I've read all of Better Days Than These as well *ninja face.* But I've always been on my phone and I HATE reviewing on there. I need to go back and review. Yes. Nods at self.

Every time my dog does something cute I'm like, oh Butterscotch can do that in the next chapter, haha!

I'm so happy you felt like you still got a lot about the characters through a more mundane sort of chapter. I feel like showing them how they spent a lot of their time is important, and it was a lot of fun to play more with magic. hehe.

James had a rough time in this chapter, didn't he? First he has to say no to Lily then he gets talked into saying yes and is secretly super happy about it THEN we learn he's too late. Poor guy. They're not meant to have that much emotional stuff happen to them in such a short span of time. He probably needs a nap now :P

I'm so happy you liked this chapter, and I can't believe you've read past this!!! That's so exciting to me. And I'm sorry I'm a terrible reviewer, but I promise I'll go back and stop cheating and actually review our BDTT . Hehe.





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Review #6, by patronus_charm 

15th March 2013:
Look at this, two reviews in one day! Catching up, is now in sight!

It was rather nice to have a school related chapter, due to the drama and excitement of the previous one. I think if there was another chapter completely focused on big reveal scenes, I wouldnít be able to cope with it all! I could tell that Lily was still affected by the revelation, with her not paying attention in class, then getting angry at the boys for misbehaving. Itís the only natural thing really, I mean, I would probably react the same, if my best friend told me something like that.

I really liked the sound of the water egg, it sounded really cool, and it perfectly fitted in with the Harry Potter world. It was nice to see Lily working and her thoughts while she did so. She appeared to be rather analytical, and that just showed how intelligent she was. A lot of people tend to miss that out when portraying her, but Iím so glad that you included it, as it just seems so much more realistic.

It was interesting to see her contemplate her future as well. I hope she becomes a healer, as that job just seems to suite her so well, and her intelligence. It was nice to reflect on her friendship with Snape. I know that you donít like him, so thank you for including that;D It was really well done, and you could sense Lilyís confusion over how she viewed him.

I think my heart was swelling with pride alongside Lilyís. It was just adorable to see Belle and Sirius working together, and you really have made her such a strong character. Watching her now that I know her secret, you still canít tell that she went through that ordeal, and she seems to have recovered from it so well. It was probably due to all of the great friends she had made at Hogwarts.

I found it interesting that James and Sirius had never attended a Slug Club party, and Jamesí reluctance to do so. I suspect that it has something to do with a certain someoneís Ďfurry little problemí ;) It still seems a bit odd though, as surely not all of the partyís would coincide with the full moon, and they couldnít always do animagi. The plot is thickening! Or itís just me reading way too much into this!

Oops thatís the thing with rolling reviews, you found out that youíre right as soon as you begin reading again! Ah well, I was right so yay for that! Níaw Remus and Sirius are such good friends though. The way they want James to finally win his conquest. Remus just seems to selfless in this story, and itís just really touching to see that, and know that everyone thought he was the traitor, I mean how could they think that? Just look at him!

I really liked the banter between all of the guys as they discussed their plans for the evening, it was just so funny to watch, and even though they were disguising a serious situation, you could tell they were still having great fun in doing so.

Ooh then the dramatic ending! All of the drama of Lily inviting Alrek, if only she knew his true identity! Then James getting called away by McGonagall, then the owl appearing, and with a letter from Petunia of all people!

Another amazing chapter Jami, and I hope to be back soon!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hi darling!

I really enjoyed writing this school day sort of chapter. I think those were some of my favorite to read in the books, so I love getting to try and make up things and put my own twist on them.

I especially love getting to show Lily in just a normal 'student' sort of light. She's not doing anything crazy, she's just going to class. But like you said, she's very analytical and so intelligent. I hate when stories don't give her credit for that, so I really wanted to be sure and show it in this one.

I'm so happy you liked seeing Belle and Sirius work together! I thought it was pretty cute too, haha. I was so glad to get her secret out there so now readers can see her like I do in my head! Just as you said, she's very strong.

Yes, all this party it did land on the full moon, but for the ones before, they just don't like them. They're little brats, as you know :P. I totally agree about not knowing how anyone could think he was a traitor. He's Remus! But I also don't know how anyone ever thought it was my precious Sirius ;(.

Writing the friendship between the boys is so much fun for me, as you now know thanks to my rambling blog :P. But I can't tell you how happy it makes me when other people enjoy it!

Thank you so much for this lovely review ♥



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Review #7, by Athene Goodstrength 

15th March 2013:
Rolling review time baby! Happy Valentines Day! (a month and a day late...)

I really enjoyed this chapter. There are so many clever ideas, so much Hogwartsyness, and the relationships are so expertly played. It doesnít matter to me that itís not a big, dramatic chapter. You need these moments to remind us how much they all have to lose. The development of Lily planning for her future, and not knowing whether itís even feasible with war on the horizon, is important.

Youíve done a really good job of showing how very intelligent Lily is. I can see why we later hear that she was beloved by her teachers - particularly the relationship with Slughorn you portray. Itís also so refreshing to see intelligence portrayed not just as living in the library, head in a book, but exploring, experimenting, explaining... Itís lovely. Your Lily would make a brilliant teacher - she explains potions to Remus and Peter so beautifully.

The past relationship you allude to between Snape and Lily feels so realistic. I love that you can sense Lilyís pain is still present, but that it is a friendship that is set firmly in the past. And yet, she learned from it.

Professor Genov is so cool. And the potions and magic youíve come up with seem so canony to me. That Water Egg thing seems like something JKR would come up with. Itís brilliant.

I had such a strong image of the gang all working away at their desks, and it actually really made me miss school! Just being with your friends every day, noticing blossoming romances and helping each other out with work. I love Lilyís observation of Belle and Sirius working seamlessly together. They complement each other so well, itís like a dance. ďThe odd kind of intimacy behind it made Lily want to throw her arms around them both and hug them until her heart calmed down. Ē - Lily or you? And me? And the other readers? :P

I uh... am not going to say a single word about Siriusís stirring stick. That said, Jamesís line about Lilyís knickers made me laugh so much.

Oh my God, my heart leapt into my throat when Lily asked James to go with her! I was so excited! And then I was really mad at him for saying no, because I totally didnít get why heíd done that at first! Haha! Poor Lily. I love Remus leaping in to try and save the moment - the poor young guy must feel so guilty.

They really are a band of brothers, arenít they? They just care about each other so much, and they all show it in their own ways. Peter is the peacekeeper (sighhh), Remus is the moral compass, James is the glue that holds them all together, and Sirius is the one who makes them laugh when they really donít feel like laughing.

I love the characterization of Frank. It seems that being a late bloomer is hereditary, bless him and Neville. Iím slightly confused by the illegal potion they brewed - what was that? I love love love the memory of the first time they transformed and went to the Shack. The idea that Remus was frightened and upset makes so much sense and is soo interesting. Can I request a one-shot? Heehee.

Oh, it was like a blow to the stomach when Lily had to let down Jamesís suddenly raised hopes! And Rukin of all people! I mean, I know heís doing it on purpose, but even if he werenít a Death Eater... itís like Hermione and Krum all over again! But... before. Not Ďagainí. Ha. Timey wimey...

Not the owl! That just brought back so many Hedwig feelings. Poor Harry. All he had for company for so long was that owl. But yay for Hagrid! Who basically stepped out of canon, by the way ;)
Jamesís concern for his parents was so touching and I guess is quite important, moving and preparing us towards the inevitable.

I loved how Sirius just followed James. It reminded me of the way Ron inevitably follows Harry whenever heís summoned to a teacherís office. Itís that ďHey, Iíve got your backĒ nature of brotherhood.

And a cliffhanger! Petuniaís good at providing them, am I right? I didnít realise I was sort of plagiarising you... :P

Okay, wrapping up...

ďHe did want to go with Lily so badly... to get to pull her aside when no one was looking and hold her just a little too close.Ē - gah. Tears in my eyes.

ĎCustodiant Tempusí is quite a literal translation of Ďkeep timeí - it really means Ďkeep hold of/guard timeí. But I canít find a better translation, except maybe ĎTempus Numerareí.

Jamesís use of Ďgitsí isnít quite right. Itís one of those silly tricky things that only sounds right or wrong to a Brit. The word Ďguysí or Ďidiotsí would work better.

ďďAlice rip the pants right off Frank.Ē Ē - is this a phrase? It looks naughty.

I love this chapter so much. Iím really looking forward to the next one. This review has taken me ALL DAY to write because kittens.

x

Author's Response: Happy Valentines! Maybe we should make our own? This can be Happy Friendshiptines Day! hahahah!

I really think that Lily would have made a good teacher too. She would have made a good healer, or a good mum that actually got to see her babies grow up... and... and... wah ;(

I have such a hard time not leaving Snape totally out of this all. It wouldn't be realistic, because he was such a large part of Lily's life, but in no way do I think she's regretting that it ended. Like you said, there's still pain because of what they used to mean to each other, but he chose who he is and she's who she is. There's no way of having a friendship when one person supports another who wants you dead. Silly Snape.

The potions lesson was so much fun for me! I had a hard time trying to make up names that fit in but weren't over the top, and ugh SARAH WHY CAN'T I GO TO HOGWARTS!

This chapter made me miss school SO MUCH! haha! They're all doing their thing and helping each other out. Then they'll talk about what they did then go to dinner and then hang out and UGH I WANT TO GO TO HOGWARTS. I don't know why you won't let me, Sarah! Just kidding, I know if we could, we'd both go :P

Hahahh I'm not sure if Lily wanted to hug them or I wanted to hug them :P. I should have written a "Jami" in this story.

You. Keep it hushed about the stirring stick :P

You - in the paragraph where you stated what they all are to each other, just completely summed up why what eventually happens, happens. Obviously I won't go into detail about my versions of it on here, but they all need what the other brings to stay who they are. They need Remus around to keep their moral compass pointing them in the right direction. To help them all remember to calm down and thing. They need Sirius to make them laugh and keep everything okay, no matter how it gets. And they need to see his dark moods and help those bouts play out so they can help their friend, they need their peacekeeper that supports ALL of them no matter what they're doing, and they need their glue. If one of those things gets shaky, they all get shaky. Oh gosh. I'm going to start crying or something. Why do I have to love them all so much?? WHY?

Moving on *tear*

Why do your Britishisms have to be so stinking complicated, huh? :P I should have watched more British TV, haha!

That part isn't a phrase, but it was playing into the whole, who wears the pants in a relationship saying. Is that not a saying over there? Uh oh. I'm going to hide now and study my British flash cards. JK. I don't have those. I should, though :P

ALREK is naughty and he does not belong here. You send him back, yeah? ;)

Sarah I LOVE your reviews. Thank you so much for multitasking with your crazy kittens and writing me this amazing one. And for not letting them type it. Because as much as I love kitten paws, I don't think their reviews would be extremely coherent :X

WUB ♥


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Review #8, by Roots in Water 

14th February 2013:
SURPRISE FOR A SECOND TIME! Hello! I'm back for another fantastic chapter!

Wow. This certainly was an interesting chapter. Although the scenes in the classroom did feel a little long, they also contained enough small moments to make them interesting. For example, I liked the small thoughts Lily had about Abigail and Remus. Abigail's comments in class further demonstrated her personality and it was really interesting to see the thoughts Lily had about competing academically with Remus. I have a few friends like that where we're basically always within a point or two of each other, percentage-wise. :)

As well, I really liked to see Lily's Potion smarts coming into play, though my favourite part of that section were Lily's thoughts about her possible career path. It was really interesting to see her wondering if Healer's training would be worth it because there's a war going on... I definitely think it would be, though, if for nothing more than it giving her the ability to heal her friends if they're wounded.

As well, I also liked the comments the Marauders made about Frank being "whipped" by Alice. I'm sure that their turn will come soon, especially with Belle so close to Sirius and James so enamoured with Lily. Then whose turn will it be to be teased? :)

There was one point of confusion for me, though. In defense class, was she writing notes or writing an essay? It seemed like she was taking notes but then you mentioned that it was an essay, which would indicate that it was being marked...

I was surprised when James turned Lily down, since I had been expecting for the "whipped" comment to be turned on him, and sadly enough I didn't see through the "Quidditch" excuse immediately. However, it was definitely a testament to the strength of their friendship that he was unwilling to leave Remus alone on the night of the full moon to spend time with Lily. It was also very sweet that they, in turn, recognized how important a step this was for him and convinced him to go. It's too bad that Alrek became a block between them, especially because of what we know about him!

I hope that James uses the invitation Slughorn always issues him to go along and keep an eye on Lily. Alrek shouldn't be alone with her and it would be fantastic if James had the time to reassure Lily about her concerns with their relationship.

And what a twist the late few paragraphs were! I wonder what it means that his owl was attacked... And what its having been attacked will mean for Petunia. I know she'll survive but I wonder if she'll possibly become a target, if it was the Death Eaters who attacked his owl, since they'd now know that he's "close" with her and that she's a Muggle. It's all very interesting and I'm very keen to read the next chapter and see where you're going with this!

All in all, it was another good chapter and I'm just as intrigued as ever to read about your Marauders. Great work! :D

Author's Response: You are spoiling me with surprises!!!

I got so carried away with the classroom scenes. I swear, I have problems. Hahaha. There aren't much many of them in this whole book though, clearly because I can't control myself.

I think Lily and Remus would have had some fun/friendly sort of competition between them. Abigail is a sneaky brat. She's in another chapter very soon as well ;).

I always want to try and include some normal teenage boy type of humor, so I'm really happy that you liked the comments about him being whipped. Funny thing, at first I was going to make them joke about a whipping sound, but then I wasn't sure if that was a term used in the UK in the 70's, so I went with a bit of a more dated one.

Dun dun dun I've surprised you! Yay! I can't even tell you how much I appreciate your continuous reviews on this story. Your opinions are always so great to have, and you pick up on so many things that I'm thinking while I write these chapters. I really just want to hug you, but now I'm back trying to stop myself from hugging my computer.

The next chapter is a steamy one... ps ;).

Thank you again so much, m'dear ♥ AND thank you for putting my review in the reviews that made your day thread!!! I was so giddy when I saw that!!!



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Review #9, by ValWitch21 

7th February 2013:
Details, details: levels of Unforgivableness, Water Eggs, spells in Latin again, tsk tsk, you're not doing that well.

LIES, ALL LIES, I'M SO JEALOUS OF YOUR SEARCH FOR MINUTE PRECISION.

It's also good to see some class scenes, most people tend to forget that Hogwarts is in a fact a school -- but you're not most people, are you?

That cliffhanger is evil. I won't stay any longer because chapter 15 awaits me :)

Author's Response: I got scared at the start of this one! Haha! Tricky girl, you!

I love doing the class scenes. I may have got a bit too into it on this chapter, though. haha.

Thank you ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #10, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

6th February 2013:
Guess who? Oh wait, it's just me...

Your story blah? Not possible. One of my favorite things about the HP books was reading all about the classes and spells. It gives the world depth. I love that you continue that tradition in your story. And you don't just give a list of information. You use the scenes to develop the characters, and that's never pointless.

I thought the spells and potions themselves were all very creative. I especially liked the detail in the potions class, and the bits with the Water Egg. That felt so very in line with the HP world. And then when Lily mentioned considering becoming a Healer, it put both the Tachycardia Curse and this healing potion in a very interesting perspective. It made Healing feel more like being a muggle doctor.

And I thought you really had another theme besides classes running throughout this chapter: the romantic relationships of the characters moving forward. There was the reference to Frank becoming less odd once he started dating Alice (too cute). The bit about the intimacy between Belle and Sirius, even while doing something as mundane as potion brewing was perfect. And the line about Belle wanting the baby being more about wanting love than Christophe was heartbreaking and incredibly insightful.

And of course, the almost date for James and Lily. What a huge step for her to invite him to Slughorn's party. And yet it felt very real. It was a "safe" invitation. She had a real reason to ask him, there would be lots of other people there, etc. It felt like a good step in the right direction for Lily, but still in character (as opposed to her out of the blue inviting him someplace romantic). And then for him to say no? That was a shock, but then you followed it up with the only plausible reason he would decline a date: to help his mates. It was subtle, but there was definitely a real push forward for a lot of the characters.

Oh, and the offhand references to Severus? Loved it! You know I have a soft spot for Snape/Lily, and I love the idea that she learned a few things from him, even if most of her potions talent is all her own. I love the idea that people *think* her affinity for the class has something to do with him. It makes me think that maybe Snape thought the same thing -- that potions was something they could share.

Can I just say how much I loved the interaction between James and the boys in this chapter? The immature and slightly crude comments were so perfect for a bunch of teenage boys. I know they've all been through a lot in their lives and are a bit more mature because of it, but still, they ARE still teenage boys!

And the cliffhanger? I loved that too. So unexpected. What does Petunia want with James, and who would attack his owl over something so mundane?

I have to admit, I'm not totally sure what you meant about pointless things in your review request. Do you mean in the physical descriptions or in the larger details? Let me know for the next review (or just PM me) and I'll be happy to comment on either or both!

Okay, and since I promised to be nit-picky this time to make up for the last review, I did notice a handful of typos. Otherwise, another lovely chapter, my dear.

-- Lily's thoughts returned to the present, causing her to stifled a yawn and sit up straighter (stifle)

-- She didn't have the same ability to instal fear in someone the way Belle did (instill)

-- That was enough to ruin every bit of control the boys had managed maintain (*to maintain)

-- She went slowly, forcing her fingers to stay as steady as a a surgeon's while the thin (delete one a)

- Potions wasn't her strongest subject, which was understandable considering Beauxbatons had focused more on the theories of potions, what maked something do what in a potion (made)

-- the fact that Belle had almost been the mother a past lover's baby (*of a past lover's)

-- Lily whispered to James as Slughurn started at the first table to look over the potions (Slughorn)

-- James and Sirius had never attended one of Slughorn's gathers though (gatherings)

-- She knew before she opened her mouth that she was about to do wouldn't playing fair.. but she had no other choice. (wouldn't be playing or wasn't playing; also, the ellipsis needs one more dot)

-- "We're going to drop our stuff off in the Heads' Quarters." Lily said in response to his curious look. (comma after quarters)

Author's Response: Just you?? Yeah right. You deserve your own theme song.

I was afraid I got a bit carried away with the classes. I'm happy that you felt like it fit in with the HP world and that it didn't bore you to death. I had a lot of fun exploring Lily's mind when she's just doing something like trying to get through a long day.

I'm so happy you picked up on all the story of... backdrops of this chapter. On my outline it says, 'Show Belle and Sirius getting closer. Slughorn Halloween Party. Abigail struggling to maintain a position with the 'in' Slytherins. Werewolf time.' So I sort of figured getting them all in classes together was the best way to go about it, and indulge my obsession with pretending I go to Hogwarts :P

I had a lot of fun writing the boys' scene. Sometimes I like those better than Lily and James ones. When they aren't all tainted by their involvement of the war, before they've ever had to imagine killing someone... ugh. They were just such a perfect group of friends, you know? And getting to try and explore that is so much fun for me.

I think I just meant does this whole chapter feel pointless, haha. But you've eased my fears about that ♥

I'm going in to edit the typos right now, thank you so much ♥

Thank you for all your amazing reviews, Becky ♥ I love how you pick on absolutely everything. And now I'm going to stalk over to your request form mwaha. ♥


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Review #11, by CambAngst 

7th January 2013:
Well look who's back with a new chapter! Surprise, surprise...

OK, it wasn't really a surprise. A few things were surprises, however, and I loved the changes you made.

I really like the way that you write classroom scenes. You have a real knack for taking the relatively mundane aspects of getting an education and making them really personal and revealing for your characters. As Lily's thoughts wander to and fro during her lessons, we get a lot of insight into her inner thoughts and feelings. I'm kind of a geek for all the details that go behind the use of magic, so I enjoy the subject matter, too.

Butterscotch is pure cuteness, by the way. It's been a long time since I had a new kitten, but that's pretty much how I remember them behaving at night.

I love the fun, light-hearted dynamic that you've built up among the Gryffindor Seventh Years. They plainly know one another so well and are so comfortable being themselves around each other. In the most stressful year of their schooling, they manage to find humor and joy in the silliest little things. It's really awesome to see them all being relatively young and carefree, knowing the awful things that await them once they pass through the gates of Hogwarts for the last time. It really isn't too late to go all AU and have Voldemort choke to death on a chicken bone, you know? (sniff...)

Poor Frank. I guess Neville's tendency to become the target of other people's jokes is genetic.

I find myself wondering why you're devoting so much attention to the Slytherin girl, Abigail. Given what we know about Rosier from canon -- the fact that he's a murderous nut who has the skills to finish off a formidable wizard like Karkaroff -- I sort of wonder whether this rocky relationship isn't going to end very, very badly for her.

Gah! The potion-brewing scene was a beautiful example of the way you can develop a character without dialog or action. We get such a good look at Lily's sharp, analytical mind. She's patient and methodical and very inventive. It's no wonder Slughorn and the other teachers adore her.

We also find out things about her friends as seen through her eyes. Belle and Sirius make such a great couple. All of their strengths and weaknesses seem to be complimentary. She even able to help poor Peter salvage his potion. Wow, did I just say, "poor Peter"? I must be going soft in the head. I meant to say, "that cowardly, back-stabbing, rat-faced weasel". Grrr...

Very interesting to see the strange little dynamics that Slughorn's small acts of favoritism create. It's sad to think that a student as brilliant as Remus was passed over in favor of those with better-known names. I'm sure that Slughorn feels validated and even a bit cocky about the fact that James turned out to be Head Boy, but where would Remus have ended up with better opportunities?

Oh, no! Lily is throwing James the opportunity to a lifetime and he feels compelled to pass it up. I love the loyalty to his friends, even though it seems that they also think he'd be an idiot to pass on her offer. You're being so gradual about bringing James and Lily together. It's torture, I tell you, torture!

Speaking of torture, watching James come all the way around to making the right choice -- finally! -- only to have the rug yanked out from underneath him should be banned under the Geneva Convention! But that's getting a bit ahead of myself. The Marauders are so good together in this. I loved all the extra little commentary you added to James's thought process. The way that his friends know him to an almost alarming degree. His concerns for Remus and the others lay bare how strong their connection really is. He's willing to give up his chance to be with Lily just to add that extra degree of safety to Remus's transformation. Even in this scene where his friends are making him make the right choice, you managed to slip in some fun little thoughts. I loved the line about how James always gets his way. That really stuck with me.

ďCourse, and thatís how itíll always be. Even after you and Lily have a big girly wedding and loads of kids, youíll still have us,Ē Peter said with a nod. -- Argh! Why do you have to keep giving that filthy traitor such good lines? OK, never mind, Sirius's next line trumps it handily.

But then it all comes crashing down. Alrek? Seriously? Ugh, Lily, Lily, Lily! You need much better taste in men. James has the right idea, though. If he can just get that noble streak out of her.

Oh, boy. I don't like to see bad things happen to owls. It reminds me of poor Hedwig. I loved the way that James's first thoughts were of his parents. That added a strong note of realism to the whole situation, really brought it home, so to speak. And I wonder what Petunia, of all people, needed to tell Lily or James? It's a pretty nice cliffhanger.

Darling, darling... I do so love being part of this story. It's a slow chapter, to be sure, but those are the ones where characters come to life. And you put so much life into all of these characters. Couldn't Voldemort just decide to go to the beach one day and forget to wear sunscreen and die of a horrible, third degree sunburn? Seriously, though, excellent job!

Author's Response: Okay, let's see if I can give this amazing review an adequate response.

You know how much I love playing with the behind the scenes sort of magic at Hogwarts. Just getting to pick at certain things and showing Lily in a setting that she loves, at least when she's not exhausted, was really fun. I was super concerned that I'd get a handful of reviews saying that the reader fell apart halfway through the chapter, but as it turns out more of us are Hogwarts learning related geeks than I realized :P

I swear, Dan. It would take barely a shove to talk me into going AU, so don't tempt me ;). You know what gets me every single time I think about it? James yelled for Lily to take Harry and run. Meaning Harry must've been in arms length, or he would have said to go get harry and run. He knew Voldemort was about to get through the door. Wouldn't, Grab harry and disapparate! Then all of them popping away have been more effective? Or Lily doing it with Harry? She knew James was dead the second she turned around and ran with Harry.. I'm sure there are loads of different explanations. Maybe you can't apparate to or out of house with the Fid. charm on it. Maybe you can't apparate with a baby (though, if you can side long apparate, I don't know why a baby would matter.) But still. Lily could have at least lived. Her living would mean she could tell the truth about Peter. He would go into hiding, probably kill himself or something. Sirius would have been able to go free. Sure, the entire story of Harry Potter would have been ruined because Voldemort wouldn't have died that night and so on.. but whatev. Okay, I'm done pouting. For now. Moving on...

Getting the Marauders friendship just right and making it come out the way it is in my head is so important to me. I'm really happy you get the sense of their closeness, the way they read each other, and just what a loyal bunch they really are. For the time being.

Hahahh I had fun with that particular line of Sirius's ;)

I'm so happy that, despite the slowness, the characters personalities were able to sort of keep the chapter afloat. I have a feeling that you're going to be veryyy happy with a certain part of the next chapter I send you... mwahha.

Oh Dan. I don't even know how many different ways I can say thank you for all your encouragement throughout this story. One day you're going to get a giant chocolate cake delivered to your door.



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Review #12, by LovlyRita 

5th January 2013:
Alright here I am for chapter 14, which I am pretty excited for since its my first real time chapter!! Whoo!

Ah, there's the tachycardia curse! hahaha. Medical authenticity, always close to my heart. lol heart, get it? Moving on...

Hahaha I love this whole bit with the guys in the back of class. The line about Alice and Frank was hilarious. I hate it when guys do that, they all have this secret little joke and then purposefully keep you out of it for their own stupid amusement. Laame. But I thought this was really well done, especially the way Remus kind of played along in almost an exasperated fashion. It really made me laugh, like he's just used to their antics. And then, classic James Potter. I could punch him straight in the face sometimes!

Interesting thoughts on the water egg here, I like the detail that you go into here, with the merpeople and the black lake and all. It's really great :) And the mechanism of action of the potion itself is really interesting as well. I always love hearing how the potions work, and this is a really interesting potion, and I like how you've incorporated a counteracting potion as well. Very interesting.

I could definitely see your Lily as being a healer. Or I guess Lily in general. Maybe the wizarding equivalent of a pharmacist given her penchant for potions. I don't know, but I also understand a lot of her concerns. After all, she is watching her whole world come apart in front of her.

D'awww Sirius and Belle working together, how adorbs are they? I love the bit about her not wanting to cut her nails and having difficulty doing things. As a PT I always have to keep my nails short, and one time I didn't and I left NAIL MARKS in a patient I was doing massage work on. I mean the patient was totally cool with it because she couldn't feel it and the stuff I did was pain relieving but I was still like...crap. :P

SEVERUS MENTION. Now back to your regularly scheduled review.

Ok reading this, since I'm awful at cooking, I can see that I would also be awful at potions. It's ok, I've come to accept that. But the way she describes it, it makes it seem like a thing of beauty, which is really great. Very poetic :) you can tell that she has a passion for it.

Wait, James DECLINES an invitation from Lily for a daty thing? What is he DOING?! Is he CRAZY?! I mean I get that the slug club is not the coolest thing ever but like...seriously? Quidditch stuff? Lame excuse. Like seriously, he's been waiting his entire life for those words to leave her lips. What a jerk. Serious dislike. I don't even care what it's for. Nothing excuses this. *crosses arms and pouts*

Ahhh I figured it was for Remus. Nope, don't care, still doesn't excuse it. *continues pouting.*

Ok so I've just finished the chapter. First of all, You SEE James? You see what happens when you do that to Lily? She asks creepy, Voldemorty Alrek instead. Ugh. So mad at him right now! don't even care if it was for his friends and their relationship, don't even care.

But it's so sad about his owl. And a letter from Petunia! What on earth could that be about! Cliffie! I can't wait to see what's next! Once again you've written a beautiful chapter and even though I'm mad at James (I don't know, maybe I just have it out for him today) I still really enjoyed it! I thought it was a great job and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi. I yell at you for taking forever to respond now look at me... :P

Hahahah you wouldn't be awful at potions! Just don't tell Lily you're bad at cooking, she'll lecture you the same way Adrianna lectured her on needing to learn the art of simpler things and not ignore them just because she'll be able to fling a wand around. Which is now an in my head one shot.. hmmm.. your reviews clearly inspire me! Haha

Your pouting is my favoriteee. Hahaha. Poor James, he's going to be terrified of you and your crossed arm pouty glances by the end of this!

So, the entire part about Alrek is something I added very last minute.. like when I had this up on the page ready to post. I had him just refusing to go because of his friends and Dan wasn't thrilled with it, but it was the best i could get. THEN BAM! Alrek! Alrek is always there when things get sticky, so I figured he'd fit in well now :P

Ummm I love you and your reviews to tiny little pieces. Almost as much as I love my fictitious 100 dollar Sephora card :P ♥


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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

5th January 2013:
Hello :)

YAY! I have missed reading this story so much! And you've written another great chapter!

I quite enjoyed the focus on the classes; it made it realistic as we shouldn't forget that they are at school and it isn't always the weekend! I just love the attention to all the little details you put in though. The spells and potions you created are really cool: I loved the count down spell!

I love Lily's potions ability and how you likened it to baking with the balancing of ingredients. I think that would be a great start for anyone creating any of these potions! The spiders web silk was a nice little addition to figuring out what was wrong with the potion.

I can't tell you how much I loved the bit of Sirius/Belle we had in there! I was practically punching the air and wanting to hug them along with Lily! It was just too cute when they were helping each other with their potions. It just made me happy :) I really hope he can get past his jealousy when she finally tells him her past! I literally have all my fingers and toes crossed!

I like how you gave us the hint at the start about Remus looking tired to Lily. Full moon alarm bells ringing! Then James turning Lily down when she'd practically asked him on a date - jeez I can't imagine how hard that must have been for him to turn down! By the way - if I was happy at your Sirius/Belle moment it was no camparision as to how happy I was when Lily asked James! I may have actually cheered a little bit... Great characterisation of James though, always putting his friends before himself. I never quite agree with fanfics that just have James dump his friends for Lily. His loyalty was one of his strongest traits and he wouldn't have left Remus unless he was positive it was all going to be ok which I was really happy that the boys managed to convince him of :)

But then - NO! Alrek! Again with the interfering and runining eveything! I thought he'd been to quiet. I really should have known things wouldn't have been so easy for them but I really was gutted! Please, please, please, please just let them have a lovely date together. Please? They really deserve it!

Hmm you left it on a bit of a cliff hanger there! So why would Petunia be writing to James and who intercepted the letter? My mind automatically sprang to Alrek just because I don't like him and so I want to hold him personally responsible for everything that goes wrong in the story but I guess it could have been any of the potential or actual death eaters. I look forward to finding out more!

Another amazing chapter hun! Looking forward to reading more!

Lauren

Author's Response: Hahahah your comment about Alrek being too quiet! That totally made me giggle because I feel like that always how Before They Fall is going. It all seems good and then, of course, someone pops up and makes things hard again. But! I do have some bits of Lily James sweetness for you next chapter :)!!

Remember the dream Lily had in chapter 10? Of her and Petunia's Christmas? And then she wrote the letter? Then the following chapter she makes a small comment about wanting to use Beowulf to send a letter.. that may have something to do with it ;). Although it has been a while since that first chapter, so it may not :P

I totally agree with holding Alrek responsible for anything bad! Yes! Let's do that!!

I'm so, so happy you liked the class portions. I know they were slower.. but like you said it can't always be the weekend and.. just learning all this, how they take it all, seems so important to their characters that I didn't want to skimp out on it. Oh... and I love writing those ;) hehehe.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter m'dear! And I can assure you that, now that the Holidays are over, chapter 15 will be up by Saturday at the latest!

Thanks so much for your completely amazing reviews ♥


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Review #14, by MissMdsty 

5th January 2013:
Urgh! I was so looking forward to their date. The whole chapter was so light and fluffy and sweet and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. And as I scrolled down I thought "oh, maybe I have to wait until next week's chapter for the date" and then I realized this is "Before They Fall" and Alrek will most likely stick his nasty, dark arts marked tail into this.


Then he did. *cries* I need to see Jily fluff and maybe some Sirius/Belle as well. Pretty please with a cherry on top?

I actually really liked the classroom scenes. It's good to see them acting as students and just focusing on their studies, instead of all the drama. Or maybe I've gone soft in my old age and I miss school.

The Potions class scene reminded me once again of you brilliance and amazing talent. I don't think I would've been able to apply the basics of baking to potion making ever. That was so ingenious and the entire scene was so highly logical and well written.

So this is my first review of 2013 and I hope that I leave you with many more in the next 12 months. Great chapter, I can't wait for the next one (I have to know what the letter says)!

Author's Response: Hahhaha 'Then I realized this is Before They Fall' hahha come on m'dear you didn't think it'd be THAT easy did you?! ;). BUT I have good news, your heart will have some extreme James Lily warm feels in it next chapter!

I'm so happy you liked the Potions and Defence scenes. I always loved in the HP books when we'd go to class with Harry, and it just seems important to include some things they're actually working on. This chapter was jokingly titled 'Jami Pretends She Goes to Hogwarts' so maybe I'm missing school a bit myself :P

Awww I'm so happy you liked the Potions scene! And that you for that awesome comment ♥ I was worried that applying baking might be too simple, but it really made sense in my head! So I'm thrilled that it makes sense in yours too :)!

Thank you so much darling for all your reviews on Before They Fall. They make my day and are one of the biggest reasons I get excited about updating ♥


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