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25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
There was never a thing wrong with extra precautions.

^ That sounds kind of off to me. Doesn't read well.

Oh Minnie! I'm still a little emotional from the last chapter I might have to take a break and stop reading but I really don't want to. Poor Minnie, calling her Gryffindors her children. You know I think the way you captured Dumbledore is perfect because he changed after the first war. Lily and James were dead, Sirius was in Azkaban, Peter was a traitor (though no one knew), Remus was barely living and all these other students of his were dead but there was no option to not fight. So he had to protect Harry. That's why I think he was so adamant about him trying to stay out of everything from the beginning and even when he started Hogwarts. He was just a young boy whose life could have easily ended any number of times. Lily, James, etc, they're still young as well. Like she said, they're children but in both generations they were all forced to grow up too quickly. I think he did a better job of trying to protect their son and the rest of the students the second time because he knew more of what he was dealing with.

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Review #2, by Maddy 

18th July 2014:
I couldn't handle the feels when I realized that Lily and James's deaths were the boiling point that led to the end of the war (their deaths caused Voldemort's spell to rebound off Harry). I don't know if you were intentionally foreshadowing but I thought it was a great bittersweet moment

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Review #3, by MissesWeasley123 

23rd August 2013:
I thought I was going to be all sneaky and leave a review on the next chapter, but I just couldn't resist this one!

Minerva!
Minerva had said those words too many times to count, but each time they left her lips it was with the utmost sincerity. Never had she, nor would she, offer someone the comforts of her home without wishing them just that.

That is just, such a McGonagall worth sentence. That one just made me feel all warm on the inside, and again your amount and tender to your description is out of the world. If I could, I would quote each and every word of her perspective in her POV, because it was so well written!

I think by far this is my favourite chapter,it had everything! I love how they were re-assessing them and how you manged to find the good stuff about Peter! Wow. I was bouncing up and down in my seat because the Order's forming!!!

Again, you showed McGonagall's sentiments so well in the few concluding chapters of her point of view, I loved it - she truly is Head, but a mother too.

ALREK! EURGH. I still don't trust him! Why is James being a Gryffie... he should be like Sirius and show the Durmstrang boy the shoulder. Be gone!

I found nothing wrong, though I'm sure Moody has two normal eyes, and loses it after the attack on Frank and Alice, because during Karkaroff's trial, Harry saw in the pensieve that he has both eyes. Not a real biggie though, I know you added that bit about his eye whizzing because you wanted us to actually see the meeting, and only meant to give us description.

Ah, this chapter! :D I loved it!!
Nadia

Author's Response: Hi Miss Nadia!
I had such a hard time getting McGonagall to feel just right. Maybe even more than Dumbledore! But I think after this chapter I was able to get into a more comfortable groove with her.

You're so right about is eye. I've thought about going back and fixing it a handful of times, but don't know where else I have it fake in the story and am sure i would forget to change it! haha!

And yes! I felt like this was one of the first really good looks at the Order we know! I had to make so many notes on who would actually be sitting at that table before I tackled this chapter, haha!

Thank you again SO MUCH you lovely girl ♥


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Review #4, by nott theodore 

11th August 2013:
Hi Jami! I'm still determined to try and catch up before you start posting the sequel, so I'm going to have to go on a BTF reading spree!

The opening with the Order was such a great way to start. I love the way that you're building up the story in so many areas, and letting the reader see things that others can't. Here we're getting to see both sides of the fight, as well as following the lives of the people who are caught up in it all and have no hope of escaping its effects.

Minerva's thoughts here were so sweet. Even though she's a pretty strict teacher, we see hints of her softer side in the books, especially when she's so proud of Harry being in her house and trying to help protect all of her students. I really liked the fact that you focused on that part of her character here, and even though she knows what fighting on the right side means and is willing to do it whatever the cost to herself, she doesn't want her students to have to be dragged into the fight as well. I could really sense her pride at being able to watch her students grow and change - like the moment with Dorcas - and it really helped to hit home just how much this war is going to affect everyone in Lily and James' year.

I thought that you captured the dynamics of the Order members very well. Obviously Dumbledore is the leader, but then there are also senior members like Doge and Moody who have more influence on matters. Then there are also younger members, like Dorcas and Edgar, who still spoke up despite being less experienced; people who are fighting in a war like this are going to have to be prepared to speak their mind, and it also showed that everyone is valued in the Order. It contrasts well with the hierarchy in the Death Eater ranks, where only those most in favour can make contributions.

James in this chapter was so brilliant! So far in the story I've felt like I'm still getting to know him but with his thoughts in this chapter I found I could really relate to him. It was realistic since we've all had similar thought processes at times, when we just get grumpy and don't want to be around people. Well, I have at least!

The feels! Seriously Jami, how do you do this? I'm so invested in these characters already and the James/Lily cuteness in this chapter just made me so happy! "It's all about the girl."!!! I don't even know what to say about that but it's just adorable! I love the fact that Lily was able to turn him from sulky to smiley straight away.

What both James and Lily were thinking about wanting it to get worse was so believable. It feels like one of those things that people hope for in private but are often too afraid to admit aloud because of what other people will think of them. It really highlights how close the two are becoming because they can admit that sort of thing to each other. But it just makes me so sad to think that they're going to see everything getting worse, they're going to be the boiling point, and despite the fact that they'll do so much to try and end this war and they won't live to see it come to fruition. *Sobs*

Sirius giving up his place on the Auror programme makes me sad, but it fits with his character and canon. He's definitely the sort of person who would give up a chance like that so that his friends would be able to succeed, and both he and James are obviously realising that things aren't all they're supposed to be in the Auror office and the Ministry at the moment. It doesn't sound like Sirius is really the sort that would fit in and be able to hold his tongue, and of course Frank and Alice are going to make excellent aurors!

Okay, Alrek Rukin. I don't like him at all. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him and I'm pretty sure that he's the spy that Voldemort's placed at Hogwarts. I love the fact that Sirius was sticking up for James and then James was trying to be mature about it, but I have a bad feeling that this could lead to some of the group letting on things to Alrek that he should never find out...

Fantastic chapter lovely! I'm looking forward to seeing the Hogsmeade trip now!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi m'dear ♥

Hahah well even if you don't catch up, you're still doing some serious reading! And leaving these awesome, detailed juicy reviews during!

Showing all the sides of the war is something that I have a lot of fun with. The DE side was planned but then Order sort of crept up me. They wanted to come play, too! :P

Minerva didn't end up being quite as terrifying to write as I thought she would be. Dumbledore, that man never gets easier, but at least she give me a sort of break.

I'm so excited you like the dynamics between all the members! I wondered what they'd do in these meetings and what they'd talk about and who'd lead the discussions, then it seemed more natural to have them all just kind of jumping in. This scene made me really excited to start book two, though, because I learned how much fun I did have with the meetings!

I LOVED playing with moody feeling James! I'm so excited that this section of his made you feel like you could relate to him! I've definitely felt that way too. Usually I hide myself away and snap at anyone who wants to talk to me :P

Awww haha Sian, I'm so excited you're invested in them ♥ that puts such a huge smile on my face.

Showing how these two didn't fall in love because it was convenient and there was a war and decide to get married is such a huge deal to me. I want to show they had something special, two people who finally learned that they belong perfectly together. (imagine little hearts over my head)


It makes me so angry when I think how much they invested in this, and how they just never got to see the end. They deserved a long happy life and more babies and ugh ;(.

I would act all sneaky about Alrek, except you already know :P Hehe. I'm happy you didn't trust him from the start, though!

Also, I need to inform you that I've been writing all this while listening to my in laws talk and trying to ignore them and having me whole apartment invaded with people, so I seriously hope it makes sense, haha!

THANK YOU for another amazing review!!! They really are so much fun to respond to, and I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're reading this ♥


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Review #5, by WeasleyTwins 

6th August 2013:
Hello Jami! ♥

Okay, so I'm only 11 chapters in and already have so many favorite moments, but this chapter tops the cake for me right now. I loved absolutely everything. Everything. The first section is perfect. Minerva's love of her students, Moody's love of training good Aurors, and just the meeting in general. I've read so many Marauders era fics and none of them have ever written a meeting of the Order. It's just proof that no one does this era like you.

James's introspection was thoughtfully done. It was very normal teenager-but-emerging-adult and tastefully done. He's just in one of those moods that we all get into - the realism immediately connected me to him. I've always felt rather detached from James. Not that you don't write him well, but because there was nothing there for me to go, "Yeah, I know what you mean." But there, where's he just grumpy and ill at the world, well, it's relateable.

OH MY GOD THE FEELS. ALL THE FEELS. I CAN'T EVEN. "It's all about the girl." STOP IT. Stop it, Jami. I can't handle it right now. It's so true on so many levels. Like the tidbit about James's father shaving because his mother likes it. Dude, don't ask me why that made me gush like a fifteen year old girl over the Jonas Brothers, but it did. Really. When you do something for someone because they're a part of you on this romantic or deep level is just...please, make the feels stop. It's little things like that that hit me so hard.

I only saw one little thing that I want to mention: "Peter’s hands weren’t soft and small like Lily’s." - This seems unnecessary. There's just something unnatural about the sentence in that particular place. I'd say delete it altogether, but that's just my opinion! :)

Overall, another wonderful chapter. I'm so behind everyone else, but every time I come back to this story, I feel completely at home. Congratulations on finishing BTF and I can't wait to reach the end and do a celebratory, fangirl squee fest!



Shelby

Author's Response: Hi lovely!!!

Ahh I'm so happy you liked the order meeting! I really have fun switching from the students, to the DE, to the Order members in this. Sometimes it made me feel like things were getting a bit hectic, but I think (hope) it offered up an overall more rounded view of everything.

Hahha awww but I like making Shelby feels!!! I'm so excited you were able to connect with James with that. I felt the same way. Just like, poor guy wants to mope all by himself. I know all about that :P! haha!

I'm so excited you liked the mentions of his parents in this and his dad's little romantic heart, heheh. I think I'm half in love with the man :P!

I'm so excited that you still like coming back, Shelby! Knowing that you enjoying coming to read a chapter and it doesn't feel like a chore means so much to me ♥ You know how much I value your opinions, so having you stopping in always puts a huge smile on my face!

Thank you, lovely ♥


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Review #6, by BluebirdBrigade 

18th July 2013:
Pfft, poor James - that Durmstrang-Ravenclaw is totally getting all up in his grill with Lily...Not sure if I phrased that right but I sense that Alrek is gonna be just as romance-hindering as Violet, but I actually kind of like Alrek. He's kind of adorable. Anyway, so in this chapter I think we really saw the characters from their teacher's and mentor's perspective. I liked seeing what Albus thought of The marauders. Hehe, loved that bit where he talks about James' 'courtship of miss Evans', he knows everything that man!

And that hug between James and Lily was just, my feels exploded. I love how they are just there for each other. All James wants is to be there for Lily and she is finally letting him do that. I mean of course he wants more, but he wants her consent and her to be ready for an actual relationship first. He is such a sweet guy, and that hug was just - 'I really needed that'. I REALLY NEEDED IT TOO! ;) James and Lily have a lot of deep conversations ad I really love reading them! I cannot wait for more!

Author's Response: I'm going to tell you something.

Give it another ermmm lots of chapters, and you will not like Alrek. In fact, you will probably hate him. But shh, you didn't hear it from me :P

That hug was probably one of my favorite things to write in this whole story. It just felt so innocent and caring and ugh I love these two so much!

Aw hahahah I NEEDED IT TO! I can't believe how lucky I am to have you enjoying these two ♥ it just makes me too excited to have you liking my babies ♥

Also, if you'd like to know, Tryp just nosed my hand and is apparently saying hi to you :P



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Review #7, by FallenTruths 

4th June 2013:
Hi Jami!

Chapter 9 - It looks like the war is finally getting underway. I'm surprised Dumbledore wasn't able to think of the patronus idea himself, though I suppose he can't be extraordinarily innovative all the time. I especially like how you mentioned that spells can evolve and develop over time. The look that James gave Lily as he was about to cast his patronus reminded me a lot of how Snape channeled his memories of Lily into creating his patronus as well. It's interesting to see how Snape and James were similar in these ways, and Lily is probably completely unaware of it.

Two minor errors - "The mirror caught her attention and she glanced at if from the corner of her eye," and "to handle to worthless face glancing back at her."

Bella is just getting crazier and crazier. It's easy to see how invested she is in her position as a follower of Voldemort. The franticness of her actions seems spot on, and it seems the entire situation is already pushing her further towards the deep end. It's strange thinking how she could get to such a delusional and power-obsessed state of mind, but luckily we have your other story to tell us that. ;)

Chapter 10 - Petunia is so finicky! I still can't grasp how Petunia can go back and forth from hating and loving Lily so quickly. She's fascinated by the magic and wants Lily to use it, yet she also hates her sister for getting to experience something she can't. This quote reminded me so much of myself, "Lily was so organized when it came to homework, classes, books, everything really. Only her best friends knew that she couldn't keep her clothes folded and room clean to save her life." Let's just ignore all my clothes strewn around the room right now. :P

I think you meant pastry here - "Peter said, handing over a pasty to Belle."

Now that the war is getting more serious I love getting to see how everyone is reacting to the attacks. I liked that Lily was able to acknowledge her naive attitude towards the war. You can tell she is still surprised that the level of infiltration Voldemort has, especially with how the auror program has been comprised. It's frightening to realize the wizards supposed to be fighting off the Death Eaters may in fact be one of them.

Chapter 11 - I've always loved order scenes, so I'm glad you put one in this chapter! I really like how you show us each of the different perspectives of what's going on with the war. Getting to see it from the perspective of Voldemort, Bellatrix, the Order, and the Marauders gives the situation a whole new dimension and really helps the reader see how Voldemort's plan is developing.

I also really enjoyed the little moment Lily and James shared down by the lake. It seems like the two are definitely getting more comfortable with each other, and the tragedies occurring all around them probably isn't hurting either. I sense their relationship will be growing even deeper over the next few chapters.

Just one mistake in this chapter that I spotted - "It was the fist time they'd be able to come to one."

Alli

Author's Response: Alli Alli *insert other name here that I'm not allowed to say.*!

I was so excited about giving the Patronuses, or talking ones at least, an origin. We know the Marauders were always inventing sneaky ways to make their lives easier, like the map and the two way mirror James and Sirius have, so letting them figure out the way to communicate without owls was a blast. I'm really happy the idea of magic evolving. It seems unrealistic for a spell to never get tweaked a bit or anything.

I'm so excited that Bellatrix's insanely shaky mental state is getting noticeably more fragile. I think I mentioned to you before what I sort of base her off, and so far I think that's really helped me with writing her devotion in a hopefully eerie way. And chapter 3 of that one is almost done! Well, 'almost' bight be pushing it a little... :P But I've started it!

Oh my gosh I think 'finicky' is the best word I've ever heard used to describe Petunia. The next flashback of her and Lily (pretty sure it's the next one) I think shows a lot of how much her jealousy of Lily influences her (I was going to use affects here, but I didn't know if it's a or e so I just chose influence :P) to act the way she does. I've always had a huge issue with the 'they just stopped talking because Petunia hated Lily out of jealousy' thing. It's obvious they kept some sort of relationship because Petunia invited Lily and James to her wedding during their seventh year and they also had dinner with the couple before the wedding. So there was enough of a bond to want her sister there for whatever reason. And then we know that Petunia sent a vase for Christmas one year... so I've always really wanted to give their relationship more levels than just the 'hated and stopped talking' thing. Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on there :P.

The order scene was SO SCARY TO WRITE. I'm so happy you liked it!!! I don't even remember how long I spent on that section, but it was way longer than most. They're just such an important group to get right and I fiddled with everyone so many times and ended up doing a list of who lives and who dies and what their occupations are cause I was so scared I'd mention something small here about one of the members than counteract it later.

Aww I'm glad you liked the lake scene! And your suspicions may be right ;)!

Thank you so much for another awesome review, Alli! I have so much fun getting to read what stood out at you on the chapters, and think I should probably send you cookies or something for being crazy enough to start such a long story :P



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Review #8, by Courtney Dark 

26th April 2013:
I loved this chapter! And I know I say that about every chapter, but this was was especially good, in my opinion. In fact, I'm very tempted to say it was my favourite so far - then again, I'll probably end up saying that about the next chapter, too, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to me.

I really enjoyed reading the about the Order meeting, especially because it was told from McGonagall's point of view. I loved the fact that she was so proud of all her students and also that she feared for their safety. I have to admit, I got shivers up my spine when they started talking about the talents of James, Sirius, Remus and the others, though I'm not quite sure why. Probably just because you wrote it so well! I also like the fact that some of the Order members still have minor doubts about Sirius and that some more minor characters, such as Dorcas and Marlene were introduced. And I love that McGonagall remembers them all as students, and they way they've grown up.

James' section was just perfect. I really liked the line: 'Just a few minutes ago he’d wanted nothing more than a bit of quiet and a good sulking. Now he could barely stop from grinning. Funny how someone could do that to you.' I definitely had some very strong Jily feels in this chapter!

I liked the inclusion of Slughorn and his slug club invitations, because I'd been wondering if he would appear in this story. And Alrek is back! I have to admit, I'm quite curious about his character, and am wondering what sort of role, if any, he is going to play in the scheme of things. I am looking forward to hearing about this Hogsmeade visit now!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Miss Courtney!

I was so, so terrified to write this Order meeting. Getting so many adults in a room, two of those being Minerva and Albus AKA hardest people to write for me, then figuring out how to do this conversation without it seeming boring was so scary for me. I can't tell you how excited I am that you thought it was well done! Thank you!

Jily feelings!!! James is sort of cute when he broods, right? Haha

Ahhh you're so close to seeing what role Alrek does play ;). I'm so excited to see what you think when you find out!

Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews, Courtney!

♥ Jami


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Review #9, by patronus_charm 

11th March 2013:
Hey Jami! Don’t worry I could never get bored of Before They Fall, school’s just getting insanely stressful at the moment, so that’s why I didn’t appear for a while ;D

I liked learning more about Minerva, as I’ve always loved her, so any time she appears I get happy. It was nice to see her take quite an active part in the Order, as you wouldn’t have imagined that she would have played such a prominent role in the organisation, as I would have thought that would have just be Mad-Eye and Dumbledore, but I liked it that she featured in it a lot. Then the way she was bragging about her students was really sweet, as it just showed how much she cared about them.

I really liked the Order meeting as a whole, as the only time I tend to see it in the Marauder period, is when everyone’s dying, and it’s close to collapse, so I liked seeing it here, as it seemed to have more energy and vitality, and guess the biggest difference here, is that they seemed to have more hope that everyone wouldn’t die, even though they were just recovering from the Bones’ death, and that made such a nice change, to the usually sombre Order meetings I’m used to.

I really liked Dumbledore in this chapter as well, because even though Minerva was arguing that they were simply too young for all of this fighting, he still believed in them, and knew that they were up for the task. It was nice to see that he had noticed them so much to be able to pick out their strengths and weaknesses, and it just seemed so Dumbledore.

I thought it was really sweet that James’ parents bought him a plot of land just so he could practise quidditch it just showed how lovely they were. I liked the hinting at the possible relationship between Belle and Sirius, with him helping her with her Herbology homework, it was just lovely, and I do hope that they end up together. I liked how you caught James’ almost restless energy, as it seemed rather like Harry, as you often found he was like that at times, and that he couldn’t just do his work, he had to be up and about.

I really, really liked Lily’s characterisation in this story, she’s just lovely, and you want to be her friend. It was nice to see how brave she was towards the fact that she was a muggleborn, it was nice to see that she wasn’t going to give into the fear that the death eaters were inciting, and that she was going to stand up and fight for what was right, it made me think that her and Hermione could be great friends! Then the way she asked James gingerly about whether she could go to his, it was nice to see that she wasn’t so forward about it, and that she did have a bit of shyness about her at times, as it just made her so much more human and relatable.

Haha the end was perfect, and it contrasted nicely with the otherwise serious and deep chapter, as we always need some light hearted banter. I was getting really worried that Alrek would go to Hogsmeade then, but good old Sirius stepped in and saved the day for a few seconds. I was thinking along the same lines as James as I didn’t think he would want to go with them, as he barely knew them, so it would have been a bit awkward. I can’t wait to see how the trip goes though!

Another brilliant chapter Jami, and don’t worry if I’m not back for a while, it’s just because of school, not because I don’t like the story ;D

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! Aww that makes me so happy! That you could never get bored with Before They Fall, not that school was insanely stressful *ninja face.* I'm not sure what part of the world you're in, but do you have a spring break coming up soon??

Writing from Minerva's perspective felt really daunting to me, but I actually ended up enjoying it more than I thought I would. I'm so happy that you liked the more energetic meeting. This was good practice for book two when I'll be writing more and more of them. I do think that I'll always try and give them some sort of... bonding feeling... even through the darkness. Because you have to imagine that they were all able to keep their spirits up enough to keep fighting. So hopefully I'll be able to depict that through the Order meetings next book :)!

Belle and Sirius? End up together? My lips are sealed ;P

I thought of Harry a bit when I wrote that James section! He's moody in this, but not in a way where anything can really change. So he just has to sort of feel better... and Lily was just the ticket to that ;).

Aww your compliments on Lily really make me happy ♥ her characterization is one that is easiest for me to dislike in other stories, so I always worry that people love her in mine. Really, I just want everyone to love all the Marauders. Haha.

Thank you so much for this awesome review, and for making me not worry that you'll get sick of the story ♥ Pch. Who needs school. Fan fiction all the way! Totally joking... umm... yeah. Hahah ;P

♥ Jami


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Review #10, by ValWitch21 

7th February 2013:
Never had she, nor would she, offer someone the comfort of her home without wishing them just that.


Minerva all the way through, absolutely flawless.

The thing about her owning a house no one knows about, which makes it the safest place to go is pure genius -- I wouldn't even have imagined such a situation in the first place.

OLIVIA AND WILLIAM FLUFF &hearts To be completely honest with you, I enjoyed this even more than James and Lily fluff, though obviously it was meant to parallel, foreshadowing a steady and happy relationship for James and Lily, and now here I am rambling.

Just a few more chapters to go before I have to start waiting for updates again :(

Author's Response: Minerva was so scary to write! Especially that much of her, you know? I'm so happy you think that she turned out well ♥

Awww I love that you like the Olivia William fluff ♥ ♥ Don't worry! less than a day until the next update!! :)


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Review #11, by Athene Goodstrength 

6th February 2013:
CC first - So, a few more typos here and there (and some lowercase ‘Muggles’), but as I said before you can always mention in a PM if you want me to point them out :P They’re so minor and they don’t detract from your marvellous storytelling. I did pick up one a couple of things I could point out here though: Edgar’s line about “My aunts home, mother’s sister, yes. She was extremely close to my mum” seems a bit clunky. If you leave out ‘mother’s sister’, we still get ‘aunt’ and ‘close to my mum’, and can surmise from that how she was most likely related to them. It just seems a little unnatural in terms of speech. The other thing that threw me slightly is the description of McG’s house. It’s in London, so the only way it would ever be called a ‘cottage’ is if it were a ‘mews cottage’, which is a converted stables, usually in a posh area of the city. Cottages are more often to be found in a small town, village, or isolated countryside environment. Honestly though, I think that’s a nuance only a picky British person like me would notice really.

Now onto the FEELS - Ah, this chapter! The James-and-Lily-ness of it all! They’re so lovely - you’re so skilled. Please may you one day write me a romance that I know won’t end in utter tragedy? Thanks.

This first section is so interesting; it’s very cool to see the Order coming together, trying to get started and recruit some youngsters. I really like your characterisation of Minerva McGonagall as a very gentle, caring person - because that’s what she is, behind the strict rule-enforcement and respect for the hierarchy of students and teachers! Her solicitude towards Edgar is particularly touching. Her pride in her students is evident throughout JKR’s work, but it’s very nice to see you explicitly explore it here as she listens to Dorcas and asks about Sirius.

It’s really cool to see how sincerely Dumbledore et al are considering the futures of their young students. Minerva’s reaction reminds me of Molly Weasley - quite maternally wanting to keep her young chicks safe for just a little longer. Honestly, Jami, you’re very skilled at taking small details about characters I think I know well, and making me believe that this character you’re writing is exactly as JKR intended them to be.

Although he may be quieter about it than Minerva, Dumbledore knows each and every one of these kids, and he rarely misses a trick - his line about James and Lily made me laugh. I do have to question the morality of listing the possible attributes these young students could bring to an army without their being aware of it at all. I mean, I know it’s a secret Order, but I do sympathise with Minerva too -they’re kids! They’re going through enough already! But that’s just part of the legend that Harry finds out is Dumbledore, I guess.

Then, moving onto the next section. You go from a serious conversation about scary things, to our young hero wandering around feeling quite worried and stressed, and wanting to be alone. You show us that although he doesn’t know about the Order’s conversations, he wouldn’t necessarily be frightened or unhappy to hear that they’ve been having them. I think the feeling I get from James is that he’s feeling a bit useless - he doesn’t know what to do with himself, as there’s no action he can really take yet. But he also doesn’t want to have to take action, because although he knows they have to, he doesn’t want things to get worse. He’s really reminding me of Harry, who is always as stoic as his parents (sounds weird calling them back when they’re still teens here!) about the need for things to get worse before they can start getting better.

Okay, now I’m going to get into the heart-warming happy stuff! It’s really a mark of how meant-to-be they are, that even though James thinks he wants to be alone, being with Lily seems to actually be the answer he didn’t know he was looking for. And the natural way that they seem to be able to touch one another and be together - I wonder if the danger of the outside world is already beginning to show them that life’s too short to play silly games, and that they just need to be real with each other. That said, they are still young people on the verge of falling for each other, and I love the nerves and second-guessing you still show us in James’s thoughts. Oh, and his naughty thoughts about her bottom. I love it - you’re not letting us forget that he doesn’t just love her, he really fancies her too! I genuinely laughed out loud, and for quite a while, at the line:

That didn’t mean friends couldn’t hold hands. Not that he was planning on skipping down the halls holding Peter’s hand or anything..

- and then it turned all sweet again with the next bit:

but that was different. Peter’s hands weren’t soft and small like Lily’s.

Oh, you.

And then you make me laugh my socks off again, with the line about getting ‘excited’. Why did my mind say ‘Sirius’ immediately?!

Just when I thought you couldn’t make me love William Potter any more... It’s all about the girl. Seriously, I love him so much! And he’s entirely your own invention, so thank you for creating him. I want more! More Potterses!

I really appreciate that you portray Sirius here as not only selfless, but also emotionally intelligent and able to analyse himself sincerely. He’s a highly intelligent man, that’s a fact in canon, and it really annoys me when other fics portray him as a brainless pretty boy. And then, of course, you end with him being the reckless, cheeky man we also know. You have to admire Sirius’s devotion to the Jily ship. I do wonder what Lily’s reaction to all this conversation is - perhaps you could include a line just to say if she’s blushing, or frowning, or not even listening?

Um, I’ve rambled. Great chapter. SUCH gorgeous James and Lily feels. Lovely McGonagall. I liked seeing Slughorn, he’s kind of adorable. And you’re awesome.

Author's Response: I'm here to try and respond to this last amazing review! (insert cry face here).

I hate that I feel like I'm putting SO MUCH into showing how real their love was, only in the end to end it all ;(. But at the same time, it's so nice to put it out there that these were two people who were HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE. It wasn't a war, it wasn't Lily's split from Severus, it wasn't just convenience that brought them together. It's the fact that these two people belong together. And I just need-- umm.. want-- everyone to understand that! hahah.

I'm sort of trying to show more of Dumbledore's... harsher side in this. We see him wanting to protect Harry. He doesn't tell him enough because he doesn't want him to know. But he still uses him as a tool. Well, we both have talked about this old man so I'm preaching to the choir with you. We'll always keep loving him. But anyway, I think that maybe he wanted to protect Harry because he couldn't protect his parents. Maybe he regrets starting James and Lily so young, thinking that he could have done more, and that impacts what he tells and doesn't tell Harry.

Okay. Moving on to topics because I'm rambling.

Sirius has so many faces (which you found exploring his awesomeness with YOUR awesomeness) and it's just not fair when people give him the pretty boy jerkness. He was taken in by another family. He was given a chance at having people that love him. Your telling me he's going to honor those people by making a jerk out of himself and just parading girl around? No. No people that turn my Sirius into this jerk of a play boy. No.

Okay. Seriously, I don't know why you're getting me all riled up. This is your fault.

I LOVE YOU AND YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS.

More than that, I love that you point things out that hardly anyone else notices ♥



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Review #12, by Remus 

29th January 2013:
Hey! Hey! Hey! :D

Guess who's back! Well, guess who's ignoring chapter 6 of His Pack of Four...This girl! I rather read today! :3 By the way, this review was already in the making by the time you requested! XD You don't need to request, just so you know, its like you have a permanent 'reviewing spot' from me hahaha! Anyway, review time!

"Augusta's boy, Frank Longbottom, he'll make a (non-12 word) fine Auror. Him and that brown haired thing both.

'If you're referring to one of my students as that brown haired thing, Mr. Moody-"


That had to be the best line exchange ever written! I laughed not only because Moody would certainly SAY something like that but I managed to picture Minerva's face perfectly well when she was delivering her own line. Brilliant.

They are simply trying to stay out of the war, not unlike the majority of our country."--Wouldn't 'not unlike' be a double negative. Or would that be considered a litotes? o.O

I really liked seeing a meeting take place. I've never read one so whenever and if I write an Order of the Phoenix moment...I'll be sure to come here and re-read to get the feel of it. Albus here is perfect and does act as I figure he would. He's in charge of the meeting but is not calling the shots nor is he doing all the talking. And what Moody was insinuating when it came to Sirius...did he mean that Sirius would eventually turn evil just because of where he came from?

I really enjoyed reading James's part of the story. It sucked me right in that I forgot to review as I went along. The shift between how lighthearted the story felt at the beginning to the now dark times is starting to become more noticeable to me.

"But actually, we're all going together. You're welcome to join us." There, James thought. Now he was the nice guy for inviting him, and no way would Durmstrang want to go to Hogsmeade with all of...

"Sure, I vould enjoy that."

(insert James's non-12 word here)


That part right there had me laughing hard. James's internal dialogue is fantastic. I do have a few questions for you...how long are you planning on making this chapter wise? The reason I ask is because I know this is a either a 2 book length or trilogy fic, so I can't imagine the large amount of work you've put into it and what you still have left to do! Brave, brave woman indeed.

The only CC that I have, which is really NOT that big of a deal really but just me being...well...me. But there was a point where I thought you had missed a typo: " during emergencies so you can be vithstanding extreme cold" I made a mental note about it to tell you but as I kept reading along, I saw that it was the new student's accent. As a reader, I had totally forgotten about him, you know. This, I think, is the first time you've brought him up again since his tour of the school with Lily which was a few chapters back. Perhaps reminding the reader somewhere within that section that he's the new student. Anyway, that's just my take on it! XD I sometimes have a memory of a goldfish so yeah...ignore this if you want to! XD

Anyway, I really don't have much to say about this chapter! Hahaha!

I can't wait to see what happens and where you're going to take this, Jami!

Until next time, m'dear! :D

--Rosie

Author's Response: Awww I was so excited to see you here!! And that's very sweet of you ♥ let me know if you end up preferring that I request, okay?

Hahaha funny you should mention 'not unlike' I kind of struggled with that one a bit. But for some reason I hated 'similar to the majority of our country,' so I stuck with it :P. Sh. You're the first person to notice it. Or to mention it.

I had a lot more fun writing the Order meeting than I thought I would, but I still worry if it 'feels' right, so I'm extremely happy you liked it. That line of Moody's about Alice... yep, I actually patted myself on the back for that one. Or, mentally patted myself on the back. Haha.

NO!! Moody doesn't mean that at all! I'll play with that a bit because now I do how it could sound like he meant that about Sirius... and now I just want to cuddle my poor wittle Sirius doggy and tell him what a good boy he is. But, Moody just means that the auror training is pretty much unnecessary because they all know Sirius is going to end up in the Order, not training to be an Auror. He couldn't handle the new politics of it that way Alice and Frank will be able to.

Thank you for pointing that out about Alrek! Now that I look back over it, you're right, he hasn't really come back up since chapter 5. He's sort of in chapter 6, but in a very secretive way so you wouldn't know about him in there. He's in the next two chapters, so I think evening that out and giving him a small something in one before this chapter to remind the readers he's still here would be a good idea. Thank you for pointing that out! ♥

I'm not really sure how many chapters this will be. I do my outlines in sort of.. important bullet point things. So I list in chronological order the important things that happen, and just break up the chapters as I go down the outlines and write. I'm just over halfway done with my outline, but after Christmas things kind of speed up. Still though, I still have quite a ways to go. As of now, it's planned to be two books. This one ending at the end of 7th year, the next one covering their time with the Order until they..they.. (insert frantic sobs). Sometimes I feel brave, other times I feel stupid for getting myself tangled up in something that is going to make me so sad at the end, haha.

Thank you so much for this amazing review *hug* Be warned, the next chapter has some serious James Lily fuzzies in it.



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Review #13, by Roots in Water 

25th January 2013:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Haha- I'm slowly catching up to your most recent post!

Oh my gosh- I loved the interactions in this chapter so much! Your characterization was spot on! To begin, your Sirius in this chapter was perhaps the best characterization I've seen of him. Ever. He wasn't flat-out joking in this chapter- he was serious, loyal to his friends and he wasn't afraid to step it up and perhaps play the fool to help them out. His actions in the Potions classroom were funny because he didn't even think about not stopping Alrek from getting a date with Lily. His casual insertion of himself into the conversation was beautifully done. :)

To tell the truth, I'd forgotten about Alrek and his mysterious attempts to get closer to Lily. Now that I've been reminded, I'm very curious to see what will happen to and with him.

The interaction between James and Lily was also fantastically done. It was so heart-warming to see them interact, close because they're close. Not defined by strict relationships- just growing closer and closer together until they both decide to take the leap into "romance".

I think that one of my favourite parts of this chapter was the mention of the relationship between his parents. The simple yet meaningful actions his father performs "because she likes it" show the strength of their relationship far more than words could describe. And when James said that it "all depends on the girl"... I was so happy. :)

Your Order of the Phoenix meeting was very well done. Once again I was very happy to see how you didn't neglect a single one of the characters in their discussion about who to contact about becoming an Order member. It was great to see them listing strengths that Peter has.

As well, I really enjoyed your characterization of Moody. I think that you did a fabulous job with him here; he was gruff but definitely in his element. His wording was also fantastic- "little brown thing" sounded exactly like something that would come out of his mouth. Furthermore, I found his comments about Sirius very interesting. Are they canon because they definitely sound familiar... Anyway, I think that you handled his suspicions very well, as well as the reactions from the Order members. Of course Moody wouldn't be one to shirk on expressing his opinions.

Minerva's perspective was very well done as well. Her pride at having successful and well-recognized students fit nicely with what we know of her, but so did her worry over introducing them into a dangerous atmosphere. She really does have a soft spot for her students; she cares about them.

One thing I did find a little odd was the manner in which they summarized the last major activity of the group. I guess that it was for everyone's peace of mind and so that everyone felt involved, but it did feel a little odd to be questioning that everything had been done exactly to specifications when there would be nothing to be done if they hadn't. But perhaps that's something that military-type groups often do...

I did notice a few typos that I'll quickly point out. To begin, with the phrase "My aunts home" it should be "aunt's" and with "Sirius's was looking" it should just be "Sirius". As well, with the phrase "the fist time" it should be "first" and with "smiley than usual, he'd have to find out" I would use a semi-colon instead of a comma.

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this chapter! It was certainly very enjoyable and it moved both the plot and the characters along in an interesting manner. As well, thanks for the mention in your AN! :) And, as always, thanks for requesting a review!

Author's Response: I'm responding to this right now so you get my full excitement squee-ness.

First of all, I literally laughed at loud about your comment with them summarizing what had been done. I had to really think about where I picked that up from. A handful of the pre deployment ceremonies have done that sort of thing, bit it's not really procedure. Anyway, I've decided it's my *own* distrust for people and their competence in general that had Minerva going over to see that everything was completed the way it needed to be. Seriously though, you are so perceptive.

Your comments about Sirius made me so insanely happy. Like, I was tempted to hug my computer hoping the hug would get to you. I've probably told you all this before, but giving the boys a place they deserve is just as important to me is giving Lily and James a love that was *real* and not just a 'because we all might die soon' thing. I want it to be so clear through this that, no matter how this all ended, these four boys loved each other. Sirius and James were as much brothers as any could be. Despite their love for pranks and over confident attitudes, they were some of the most amazing people to have watching out for you. Now I'm going to get all feelsy because I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY JKR TOOK MY MARAUDERS. Phew. Okay.

Alrek become even more important very soon... dun dun dun.

The Order meeting was really, really scary for me to write so I'm really thrilled that you liked it. I wish I could think of a more creative way to tell you how happy I am, but yeah. My brain is broken. I don't *think* Moody's comments about Sirius are canon... but you know quickly head canon and real canon merge, I'm sure, so don't quote me on that. I love getting to look at the group from so many different angels, though. The Order, the DE (another one of their sections is coming up soon) and of course from the group themselves. There's just eight students, with all these plans circling around them that they have no idea about. Okay, I better stop before I get all feelsy again.

Thank you so much for pointing out the typos ♥ I just edited them in my Pages copy, and I'll edit them in the published chapter when I add chapter 16 tomorrow :).

I just want to keep rambling so that somewhere along the way I get across how much I appreciate all your reviews, by I'm afraid you'll exit out of the window you read this response in if I ramble on too long ;).

Thank you ♥


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Review #14, by Pixileanin 

16th January 2013:
I really enjoyed your portrayal of Moody at the meeting. He's callous and disruptive and at the same time, all business about the war. What a fun character! I especially liked his referral to the "brown haired thing". And then you humanized everything again by Minerva's reminder that they are all just children.

"And seven of them were hers."

I loved the protective nature she had during the discussion and how she really wanted them to have one last year without adult concerns.

The next section was full of James... I mean that in a good way. ;) You've really got a knack for getting into that boy's head and going with it. And it led to a sweet moment too. Awww!

Slughorn just does not give up, does he? I always thought of him as a collector of sorts. I'm sure he'd like to have those two boys under his thumb, but I guess they're not going to do it. Good for them.

Sirius really tried to thwart that bloke, Alrek. He ended up creating an impossible situation instead. Haha! Now James gets to deal with that too. Hopefully, Lily sees it for what it is and commends James for his creativity...

Author's Response: Hiii ♥

Moody was actually a blast to write. It got me pretty excited to start on book two, because that one involves their time in the Order. And then I can play with Moody more. mwahaha.

James and Sirius started out as a bit tricky for them.. making sure they both had their own 'selves' and stuff, but the farther I get into this the easier they become to distinguish in my own head, so I'm extra happy that you feel like I'm doing good with the darling Mr. Potter ♥

Hahaha Sirius is such a button, isn't he? He tried though, and that's what matters ;)

Thank you so much for this lovely review and all your awesome other ones ♥


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Review #15, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

14th January 2013:
Just when I think I'm getting close to caught up on this story, you post another chapter. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Just means more loveliness for me to review.

I'll get a few technical things out of the way before I jump into all the wonderful goodness of the chapter itself.

A couple of typos I spotted:

-- She'd was glad to offer her small London home... (She was or She'd been)

-- "Amelia is, of course, in the safety of Hogwarts." Albus added as he glanced down at Minerva's list. (needs a comma after Hogwarts, not a period)

-- Mr. Potter's decision on what to peruse after Hogwarts will influence... (pursue not peruse)

-- "Thanks Sirius," James said, coming up with an idea... (needs a comma after thanks)

I also noticed that there are several places where you use two periods in a row, marking a pause or break in a train of through. The third one seems to get left off a lot, which is needed to complete the ellipsis properly. And don't forget to be on guard for those darn comma splices :P

Now on to the meat of it!

I love that you chose to have Minerva as the narrator for the Order meeting. She's such a great character, and I think she tends to be underutilized in a lot of fics. I don't think she has as "strong" of a voice as Moody, like in the last chapter (or in this chapter, actually, where he totally stole the show again -- you write him beautifully), but I thought you handled her character really well. I was particularly enamored by the way she tried to convince the rest of the group to let James and Lily and the rest enjoy their final year at school. As strict as she is, sort of no-nonsense, I truly believe she both (a) cares for her students, and (b) understands that a little fun and mischief is part of the Hogwarts experience. Following on your Moody of the last chapter, I can see him being very cavalier about it all -- like who has time for a childhood when war is looming. Also, at that age, he'd probably have preferred to be hunting Death Eaters than going to Hogsmeade, anyway. But Minerva... well, she just gets it, and that makes me like her even more.

I know you said you were nervous about this scene, but really, I thought it was very well done. If you REALLY want a nitpick, I'd say the only "awkward" moment was that Fabian had no real introduction at all (unless I totally missed it). He has one line, but there is no other reference to him ever being in the room. Even something like a "said Fabian, who had been the first to arrive for the meeting/from his usual seat in the corner/who'd been quiet up until then, and Minerva had almost forgotten he was even in attendance. Whatever, you get it. Just a little something to better "fit" him into the scene.

Moving on, I loved, loved, loved this glimpse at brooding James. I think there is a tendency to write him as always upbeat or else poised for action; either pulling pranks or else fawning over Lily. It was nice to see him reflect on the world, but in a way that still felt appropriate to his age and his relatively positive outlook. And I loved the touches you added here about the odd happenings/news infiltrating Hogwarts -- the references to students whispering about "so and so's parents" and the missing witch who wrote about muggles.

And I think this was without a doubt my favorite bit of James/Lily you've written to date. For me, it wasn't about the romance but the very real moment they shared together, admitting their desire for something to just break and release the tension. Of course, his dad's advice about it being "all about the girl" was totally adorable too. But I just loved the small gestures here -- the hug, the holding hands -- and the fact that they could share a moment together this way.

I know I've got to be running out of space so I'll wrap this up by saying: Gah! I'd almost forgotten all about Alrek. I know you must have something up your sleeve with him. I can't wait to find out what it is!!

Another lovely chapter. Can't wait to read more very, very soon!

Author's Response: You're spoiling me, you know that right? Not only do I have this amazing review, but I also have a new chapter of Over The Edge to go indulge in *insert wub face*

Thank you for pointing out the technical errors, I'm going to fix those right now ♥ Also... I may just crown myself comma splice queen. I might as well get a good title out of it, right?! ;)

That's the exact way I feel about Minerva, as well. Right now Albus hasn't learned as much as he does by Harry's time. He's seeing it all through those half moon glasses and he sees an end. He doesn't know what Voldemort has done at this point, or not all of it, and he's a bit less gentle now than with Harry. This is an opinion that I know not everyone will share... but in my head canon he puts off telling Harry a lot of the more terrible things, he tries to protect him for so long because he didn't do that with James, Lily, the rest of the Marauders. They're such incredibly talented wizard and witches, that his thoughts focused a lot on how they'd be able to help. They were killed in the prime of their life, and he'll always wonder if he'd been a bit slower.. if he wouldn't have wanted them to join so badly maybe they wouldn't have, maybe they would have later, maybe they would have lived to see their 22nd birthday... and yeah. So when Harry comes around, he's a bit of the opposite.

ANYWAY. Sorry about the ramble :P But Minerva sees more right now than Albus. She sees these students that she's raised, and as much as she wants all the support the order can get, she doesn't want to watch her 'children' suffer.

I kind of thought the same way about Fabian as well.. I'll go back and tweak him a bit to give him a proper introduction :)

Brooding James was actually fun to write, haha. He's different than Sirius in the way he broods... he doesn't make a big show out of it, but sort of isolates himself. Sirius needs his people to cheer him up. He needs to be brought from whatever low he's at to the high that only his best friends can give him..but James is different. He sort of has to work his own way out of it. And then he comes upon Lily *insert Jami's wub feelings flying all around here*.

I'm so happy you liked the moment between Lily and James. One of my least favorite things is when their relationship is made to be one out of convenience (the war is coming, they just rushed and got married because they thought they'd die soon.. and on and on) so I really want to show throughout this that they didn't get married, they didn't end up together for any other reason than them belonging together.

Sorry about the rambly response ♥ your reviews always just get me thinking about these characters and what I'm trying to do with them so much. I swear, every time I finish responding to one all I want to do is go write the next chapter. You just make me think about everything I'm doing, and that's so awesome for me because it gets me excited to get back into these guys's heads and yeah. I'm stopping now and sending you a mental hug.


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Review #16, by LovlyRita 

11th December 2012:
Oh Crap there are only 2 chapters of this left. How did this happen? No!!

Ok, back to the story :P

I liked that we got to see a little bit of the beginning of the order of the phoenix, especially Moody's assessment of all of them. I have a fondness for him, definitely, and it's just so scary to think that these kids that are barely 17-18 years old, and they are already being recruited to fight. Although I guess 18 is the age you can enter the military but...shh. :P

And I love how McGonagall feels like they are "her" children, and she's watched them grow and morph into the adults they are becoming. aww. I feel for her. :)

Oh look at all this Lily/James all over the place. Oh dear, oh dear indeed. :P I'm just kidding, my skepticism is a cruel joke, I really liked this part. Poor James is all in his head, thinking about quidditch, thinking about other things, and then there's his lovely Lily by the lake. I'm glad that she let him hug her, kind of let him in physically for the first time. (I realized it as soon as I typed it, let's ignore it.) I'm glad that they are really starting to connect on all levels now, and maybe eventually they will even get to kiss! ahaha.

I have to admit though, I sit and read every chapter with awful trepidation, because I am so scared that something is going to happen to James' parents, I keep waiting for it in every chapter and I really really hope that nothing is going to happen to them, but every time they are mentioned, i'm like oh God please still be alive! But so far so good, thank the Lord. I wonder if this is what it's like when you're reading Brain Activity. lol I'm an awful person.

Though I must say that this chapter was a great relief, because I feel like a string of bad or really stressful things have been happening to them, so this chapter was a great break from all that sort of dramz, and it just focused a lot on James and Lily, and some of the lesser plot points which was nice. I have a feeling it wouldn't be like that for long, but this was a nice little break :) They deserve some time to be happy together.

And I've said it once and I'll say it again, I do not like the Alrek, he seems wrong, all wrong, and I dislike him entirely. I'm gonna go ahead and cling to that now :P

Also, I feel like I validated this chapter. I can't be sure but I'm pretty sure I did. *resists urge to stalk*

Ok, now that review is over, LAMENT FACT THAT THERE IS ONLY 2 CHAPTERS LEFT no!!! Not that I'm entirely innocent. I keep being torn, when you send back reviews, I'm like..review or write, review or write. Now I know the answer. The answer is write. Because then more BA happens, and I can put off having no BTF to read. yes, I feel like this is a good arrangement :P

LOVED IT as per usual, darling, totally brilliant, I look forward to the next chapter, which seems to be full of some type of Hogsmeade Shenanigans!

Ashley

Author's Response: Hahaha oh my gosh your 'oh dear, dear indeed' just made me have serous gigglies. Thank god you realized how your 'let him in physically' sounded, because there's no way I would have been able to be 12+ and point it out if you hadn't. Hahahahah.

So! If it eases your James Parents feels (although, you don't ease me DON'T TAKE ROSE AND SCORPIUS feels, so I don't know why I want to ease yours :P) But, Olivia and WIlliam will absolutely be alive to see their first (and only, sob) grandchild be born. Which means we have a long time left with them, yay!

Alrek! Mwahaha. Keep an eye on him. Don't worry!!! Chapter 14 is almost done! And you're halfway through 10, right?? I'm sort of excited to be caught up with BA so I can send you annoying messages and poke at you to tell me what happens (although now that I know you don't plan, that might not get me anywhere) and I can poke at you to hurry up and write. Mwahaha. Sorry, I'm a mean girl.

I'm so happy you loved this ♥ and the next chapter is a bit up fluff mixed in with some important clues mixed in with some more fluff :P Try not to let your Snape Lily heart burst :P!

Have I told you how happy your reviews make me, btw? Because they seriously turn me into a squee-y five year old.


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Review #17, by EverDiggory 

8th December 2012:
I'm finally here with your review swap, love.

You never disappoint me. Ever. Let that be a disclaimer.

Your imagery was perfect again. You had me a little worried that your perfection was slipping, but you're back to bat! Great job!

The flow is never, ever messed up when you write, this too impresses me. You always smooth everything out so flawlessly! Great job, again.

Characterization is fantastic as well! We're already very familiar with your take in the characters, but you keep all your characterizations they same as you go. If that makes any sense?

I feel bad, because all I ever do is gush about you but Im truly bone dry off CC for you.

Happy holidays lovely!

xx

Ever

Author's Response:
Hi my darling Ever! I'm so happy the imagery was back up to par in this chapter!! Hopefully it stays that way, but please feel free to get on me for it if it doesn't ;).

Your reviews are always such an awesome treat, with or without CC! And I love knowing that you're honest enough to point it out if something was off ♥

Thank you so much my dear for your always amazing reviews!!



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Review #18, by academica 

26th November 2012:
Hi! I decided to stop by during my lunch hour :)

Um, how many ways can I say that I love your Minerva?! She reminds me so much of the Minerva from Missy's Into the Darkness of the Grave: she thinks of her students like they were her own children, and despite her at-times gruff, practical nature, she's very worried about them and the future they will inherit. I also love how you strayed toward the domestic at the beginning, with Minerva being very polite. Somehow that seems unusual and non-stereotypical for her, if that makes sense. I also think it was genius for her to offer her home as Headquarters; you're right, many people would think that she would just stay at Hogwarts all year, being Deputy Headmistress and all.

I also love the other characters in the Order; we glimpse them only briefly, but they all seem to fit. As well, their descriptions of the students seem spot-on. I think that whole first section could be taken right out of canon, just as it's written.

Side note--it's cute that you have Lily organizing the N.E.W.T. review. She does in my story, too :)

Okay--and yes, it is really me saying this--I love Lily and James in this little moment. I love the hug, how she just let it happen because she realized how much he needed it, and how he just went for it, knowing she'd accept him. I love his comments about it being all about the girl, too, because I can see James as being the type to move heaven and earth for Lily if needed, no matter how much her nagging gets to him ;) It really is a shame they weren't married for long. Okay, okay, I'm checking my pulse and going back into my nice, comfortable anti-James corner now!

I also think Lily's attitude is interesting. I would think that she'd be more scared, being a Muggle-born, but she's actually happy that maybe her family will be out of harm's way. Again, I think the characterization of Lily is just perfect there.

Love the bit with Sirius and the (future) Longbottoms. It's so sad that they did end up being good Aurors with very short careers. It's also interesting to think of Sirius as being so self-sacrificing. His attitude of sacrifice really punctuated his entire (very tragic) life. So sad.

Hah, cute ending! I think the only thing that was missing for me was Lily's reaction. I wouldn't think she would take kindly to a boy taking charge on her behalf. It will be interesting to see what the Hogsmeade visit is like, though. I'm also looking forward to getting more of the "other side" soon.

Nicely done! :)

Amanda

Author's Response: Amanda! This was such an awesome surprise!

I was really afraid I over did it with the hug, but it just felt like one of those moments when he would need one. So I'm really happy you liked them in that moment. The Order section was really daunting before I began writing it. I had to do the chart of who is currently in the Order, their ages, occupations, how they got started with the Order, and of course when and how they die, since sadly most of them do ;(. But I wanted to get all that done before doing this chapter so later on in book two I wouldn't mess up any small details, so I was absolutely dreading writing this scene after all that. But then when I started, I really loved it! Just the group of people, all of them working for the same thing but having different ideas of how to get there, and of course Minerva's desire to keep the 7th years just children for a bit longer. I feel like in some ways her and Molly probably identified well with one another :P. I'm so happy you feel like that first section was well done ♥

'comfortable anti-James corner' hahaha. That just made me giggle. Severus comes back in chapter 13, only just the mention of him. I'm really trying to balance the line with him of want to be Death Eater, but want to be Death Eater because of the desire to have power and belong somewhere as opposed to hurt others. So when he does come back for an actual scene and not just a mention, I'll be looking forward to your thoughts ;).

I love the idea of Sirius being more self sacrificing in this, but I have to admit that wasn't completely how it was in my head. In my head he wanted out of the program because he knows he isn't going to be able to bend to the game now that the Ministry is being infiltrated, and he probably won't admit it but he also wants to be doing what James does. So it was kind of a way for him to do something nice for Alice while having an excuse to get out of the training program, but I like your self sacrificing version better..

Lily's reaction is sort of next chapter, but mainly just her reflection on it.

I am so happy you liked this chapter, Amanda! And your review really made my day ♥. But I will warn you... the next chapter is a bit slow. A LOT happens right after it, so I needed just a normal Hogsmeade day. I've been told it reads sort of like a filler, but it does have a few very important details as well as my version of how Lily and James end up with the cat that's mentioned in Lily's letter to Sirius :P. And! I really just wanted to write a Hogsmeade day, haha. The next look into the 'dark side' is chapter 13, yay!

Ummm I don't want to stop responding because I'm still on cloud 9 about this review... but I don't think I have anything left to say :P. Thank you so much for stopping by ♥

AND! The DAY I finish book one, or at least have the outline solid enough and move onto their lives in the Order, I AM READING YOUR MARAUDERS! I just know that everything isn't developed enough for me and I'd end up soaking up some of your characterizations and details. But I swear, you are eventually going to be massive review bombed by me on that story :P.


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Review #19, by manno_malfoy 

22nd November 2012:
Jami, look! I'm here and not as a ghost! I really missed BTF!

This chapter made me realise what I love the most about this story. It takes all sides of the war into consideration, puts them all in a good balance that allows the central characters to shine and at the same time shows the events they're yet negligent to.

The Order scene was absolutely wonderful! As always, everything was thought through well and it felt very realistic. How concerned all the characters seemed to be accentuated the gravity of the situation and how the war now is a reality, not just a story on the papers. I loved McGonagall in this chapter and how proud she is. And I can't help but think that two of her "own students" would die, two others would be mentally severed, and one of them imprisoned, and how that should affect her when it happens. Moody was brilliant as well! He remained in-character throughout the scene. You seem to really understand him right now and I like how you've developed his thoughts regarding the war.

AND LOOK! Advances on the romantic side of things for James and Lily! Granted, they're small advances, but at least things are moving! Soon, I'll have to personally lecture Lily for wasting precious time just because she's insecure and prudent. It was really enjoyable to see James be jealous but not try to show that to Lily so she doesn't think he's possessive or that he has no right to interfere. It's really sweet!

This has been a great chapter to get back to!
*stares at the 'next chapter' button-thingy with a grin* Yup, it's time to move forward! See you next chapter!

-Manno

Author's Response: Manno I've missed you! ♥

YES! Lily and James advanced! The next one has some serious fuzzy feels.. Lily will get there very soon ;). Chapter 13 centers mainly around Belle, so I'm excited to finally get that out there.

The Order scene was so daunting at first. Having to list out all the members that would currently be in, adding what their occupations are as well as the part they play in the order and making up an age for most of them, it was just intimidating. I wanted to make sure to have it all down though so I don't mess up something little in the scenes there in, and those facts will come in handy next book, but then when I finally got writing this scene I had SO much fun with it. Both sides are recruiting at Hogwarts, but this side is obviously doing it more delicatatly. The Order sees potential members that can play some part in helping them rescue their world, then Voldemorts sees young brains that need to be trained and manipulated into believing in his world, as well as young people he will need to make examples of to keep his world in his control. I am so happy you like the branching off parts instead of them feeling like they don't belong, because I really enjoy writing them.

Your review has filled me with so many warm gooeys ♥ thank you so much for stopping by, and I hope you love the next chapter ♥


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Review #20, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

13th November 2012:
OMG This story is absolutley amazing! I'm sorry I haven't reviewed each chapter, I'm a new member and I started reading it this morning and you had me totally hooked!! I just kept reading and now I'm gutted I have come to the end! Please say your posting more chapters soon!! I want to read about xmas with the Potters and I can't wait for Lily to finally give in and go with James! You have done an amazing job with all the characters we know and the ones you've brought in. I have to say Belle is turning out to be one of my favourites. You have got all the charcters so well and made the story fit in. The Potters, The order, Frank and Alice, Lupin changing, the war starting. It's just all so good! This has to be one of the best stories I've read so far. Well done!! Please write more soon!

~FredWeasleyIsMyKing

PS - if you have any tips about writing, they would be greatly appreciated. I have started a few but any advice you have would be great :)

Author's Response: Oh gosh!! You have no idea how awesome it was to see this review!

I am so happy that you're enjoying the story! The next chapter should be posted by Thursday, then the following by Saturday! After that, I'm going to be posting new ones every Saturday :).

Belle is one of my favorites, as well. I love her. Actually the next few chapters revolve a bit around her, so I hope you enjoy those! Everything you've said in this review that you're most excited to read, is absolutely what I'm most excited to write. And I can give you a tiny hint... Christmas with the Potters and Lily and James dating may happen very close together ;).

Thank you again so much for stopping by! I'll head over to your page today and see if there are any helpful tips I think I can offer!

Jami ♥


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Review #21, by MissMdsty 

12th November 2012:
There are no more chapters! Oh my God! I'm going to add this to my favorites so it's easier for me to keep track of updates.

I liked how Lily warmed up to James, there is something very sweet and heart warming about the way those two interact with each other.

I can't wait for the Quidditch match and for Christmas at the Potters! And more of Sirius and Belle, of course!

Looking forward to reading more!

XoXo

Ral

Author's Response: Ahh I'm so happy you're enjoying this enough to add to your favorites! And!! I just sent chapter 12 to my beta to edit tonight, and he's extremely speedy so I should be able to publish it tomorrow!

Thank you again for all your awesome feedback! ♥


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Review #22, by shadowycorner 

10th November 2012:
Jami! This chapter...just...blew my mind completely. I loved the beginning! Loved and loved and loved it! Everything about it was perfect. Dorcas was there! -squishes- And so was Marlene and Edgar -squishes too- I love them because they're my favorite original order members ever!

The conversation that was going on was very Order-like, to the point and interesting. I loved every character's input. Fabian and Gideon -DIES- I love them too! I just want to curl into a ball and cry because all these people die. Ugh. I hate the world. Anyway. McGonagall was perfect. I loved how she thought about her students, how watching them grow is the best part. Having McGonagall proud of me would be like the best thing ever. That's what I love about all these characters, the original Order members...there were these deep connections between all of them...between the friends, lovers, students and teachers...it was very visible in this chapter and you've done that so well! I also laughed when Moody was having another one of his Moody comments and McGonagall got all indignant when he called her student a thing. Haha, Moody doesn't do proper, Minerva. I like how their characters and appearances clash in the good way, they're such contrasts it's amazing to watch.

James and Lily feels, oh my God, woman, you are killing me with all the James and Lily feels. Their relationship is so heart-warming, moving at just the right pace. It's funny how obvious it all is, that they will be together. I think even Lily is aware of that by now, but she's also being smart about taking the time. If only she knew she should start using up ALL of that time because they're very slowly running out...god I have to stop because it would be embarrassing to make myself cry with my own review. They're still alive and they're wonderful and I love them in this story.

And yay, I bet there will be some more lighthearted mood in the next chapter since Durmstrang boy is joining them! The balance between the funny and serious tones of the story is well done so far.

Ah, what else can I say? You have no idea how much I'm enjoying reading this. I am so excited for the next chapter. This is a wonderful story. I probably won't get tired of saying that.

Liz

Author's Response: Okay. I am finally here to respond to this awesomeness. Or at least try to without turning into a mush ball.

Liz OH MY GOSH what you said about wanting to curl into a ball and die. So, I have this chart with all my members and how old they are, what they do, ect. Next to them I put if they live or die... and there are so many DIES. It's so sad :(

No! Your review is going to make *me* cry. Lily and James... ;(. Bah. I just want to hug these two and never let them go. I should have just made this an AU :P

I am so happy you love them in this story, that's one of the best complements I could ever receive ♥

The next chapter. I have to say.. you're heart may melt. You just wait... :P It should be up Wednesday, Thursday at the latest!

Okay. Your reviews are just too awesome. I'm so lucky ♥ thank you so much for taking part in my lil story and reminding me why I love writing it.

Jami


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Review #23, by Nikki 

8th November 2012:
please post the next one sooner!!! i was going insane waiting for this one!!!

Author's Response: Ahh you are awesome! Thank you so much for continuing to follow, and I promise I will try and get the next one posted much quicker :)!

Jami


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Review #24, by caoty 

8th November 2012:
OH MY GOD, ACTUAL PHYSICAL CONTACT! Though I do love my slow-growing relationships.

Erm. Anyway. I'm going to spend this review going HOORAY FOR MINOR CHARACTERS, in gratuitous capital letters, just so you know.

So, HOORAY FOR MINERVA. I was not expecting you to write from her perspective, but you've written her well - she's calm and brave and yet infinitely scared at the same time, which absolutely captures the Order's war spirit. Her fond and proud recollections of current and former students are lovely, and absolutely make that scene.

And HOORAY FOR RANDOM ORDER MEMBERS. You've given them all distinct personalities and integrated them well into the Order, which is sadly unusual for Marauder fic. Your Dorcas is pretty cool, and shows no sign of getting together with either Remus or Sirius. Yay.

And HOORAY FOR MOODY. Or rather, everyone's reactions to him. He shows similarities and yet key differences with the man he'll be around the time Barty Crouch Jr. shows up to kidnap him, and the way you've had people making fun of him and calling him out on his chauvinism is just... awesome. It shows the humour and friendly companionship (as opposed to unfriendly companionship? God, I've no idea what I'm going on about half the time) that the Order members still share despite the dark times. Despite that rather cliched description, I actually do love it.

And HOORAY FOR ALICE, because you can totally imagine her as passing down her genetic material to a guy who grows up to rock cardigans and slay Horcruxes. But mostly because she's a really awesome, strong young woman in her own right.

And I could carry on like this for years, so I'm just going to end with telling you how much I adore James and his emotional vulnerability, and brush up on your canon spellings (like Muggleborns and Sorting) will ya? :P

Author's Response: Hiii! Sorry for the forever response. I accidentally caught the Christmas fever early and spent all weekend decorating.. haha!

Minor characters!! Yay! I had so much fun including them in this chapter. I want to introduce them bits at a time, so in Book Two, when we see way more of the Order, everyone already has a good idea of these people and understand them to an extent.

No Dorcas action with either them, that's for sure! And writing from Minerva was SCARY. Dan alwasy tells me to pick the character that knows the least or has the most to lose. And I feel like she has the most to lose in this case, then her voice just started lecturing away in my head and the line, 'are you referring to one of my students as that brown haired thing, Mr. Moody?' popped up almost before the chapter itself :P.

I am so happy you liked this chapter ♥ I'm going to start trying to do regular Friday updates, so you're going to spend even more time over here. Mwahaha. Anyway, errrmm you're awesome, but you already know that. And YES, SIR OR MADAM, I WILL LOOK OVER MY BOOKS IN THE MORNING! Deal? :P


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Review #25, by CambAngst 

5th November 2012:
Alright! I've been waiting for BTF to explode back onto the scene with a new chapter. And what a good one! Lots of action spread out over several different venues.

I really love the way that you wrote the Order meeting from Minerva's point of view. She's a really good choice, being the very calm, objective, sensible woman that she is. She also has a big emotional stake in the major topic of the meeting. I'm thinking back to those sage words of writing wisdom: always use the voice of the character who knows the least or has the most to lose. You really brought home how much Minerva has to fear losing.

Once again, you did a really good job with Moody in this chapter. He comes across as so gruff and surly, but at the same time he takes a perverse sort of joy in what he does. I love the way that he brags on Frank and Alice, Frank for his actions during the Bones christening and Alice for the way she cursed Evan Rosier. He always makes me chuckle. And calling Alice "that brown haired thing" was such a perfectly chauvinistic way for him to actually pay her a high compliment. The cigar was the perfect finishing touch!

The protectiveness Minerva feels toward all of her students and the Gryffindors in particular was perfectly in character for her and a great reminder of how young James, Lily and the others really are in this. I think we really need one of those every so often. Something about fics set in the Marauders era always seems to make the characters seem so much older than they actually are. It's kind of jarring to make yourself stop and realize that they're no older in this story than the trio were during Deathly Hallows. At any rate, her plea to Dumbledore to allow them to enjoy their final year of school without being recruited to the Order or pressured in any way came across as very heartfelt and genuine. If she only knew how much worse things were going to get for these kids in the not-so-distant future. :(

Gah! James and Lily! What an incredibly pregnant moment. Not biologically pregnant, of course, but just full of potential and foreboding. I think my favorite thing about the way you're writing these two is the way that you're letting them have the time to really become friends before they become lovers. They're already there, for the most part, and The Hug in this chapter reinforces their friendship beautifully. Sometimes we do just need a hug for reasons that transcend physical attraction. Then you keep the ball moving with their mutual feeling of wanting something bad to happen so that things can finally come to a head and start to get better. I loved that part, both the idea itself and the way that they had both independently come to that conclusion. Poor James. He really is going to have a tough time with Lily under his roof and not drowning in grief. Too bad he's not friends with Severus, because I bet that guy knows a potion for everything! ;)

It's all about the girl. Truer words have rarely been spoken. Nothing else to add to that.

Wow. Fudge was a useless troublemaker even before he ascended to the big chair. Nice to see that some things don't ever change.

I think I like the fact that you're giving James a bit of competition here. He's the sort of guy that competition brings out the very worst and the very best in him. In other words, he's probably going to drive Lily crazy and still manage to leave her weak in the knees when it's all said and done.

A splendid read, as always, my dear! Lovely in its composition and touching in its emotional impact. You are welcome for every bit of assistance I can offer because it's an honor and a pleasure to play a small part in the telling of this wonderful story! Til next time...

Author's Response: Here we are, my dear, to once again bring my unanswered response count back down to 0 and I can breath easy again.

First of all, you are such a huge help during all this, so thank you again for that ♥

Fudge really is worthless. He learned poor leadership through watching it occur when he was still building through the ranks, which we'll of course see more of.

GUESS WHAT? I have a secret 'bring Lily weak in the knees' part coming up in chapter 12! You don't even know about it! Or Sarah! Which is weird, haha. BUT. It's such a heart melty moment and it just brings our little Lily one step closer to understanding how much she wants to be with this boy/man. Christmas time is getting so close in this story. ;)

I actually used that little saying when trying to decide who to write this from. It wasn't going to be from Dumbledore PoV ever, because I'm not putting myself through that. Moody was an idea, but I was really happy with it ending up being Minerva. I think this group was the closes to kids she ever had, and what happens in four (almost to the date of this) short years had to have nearly killed her :(

I know, isn't it crazy to remember that they are ONLY 17 years old! And they have so few years left... on top of that, no 17 year old thinks they could die. They think about the possibility in this situation of course, and they *think* that they understand the risks, but they don't. Because no one at there age would really understand that they CAN die. And gah. Sad. Sad. Heart.

PLUS SIDE ! We still have plenty of story left before it comes to that. And! I should have the next chapter to you by the end of the week!

Thanks for all your awesome reviews, m'dear ♥


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