Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Ignite, Chapter 12: False Dawn
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roisin 

16th March 2015:
BACK! (Just so you know, I plan to review this WHOLE story)

I love the idea of there being dullness in crisis. It's both interesting and true. The best thing I have to compare it to is being in an E.R. waiting room--much like what you describe in this story, it's simultaneously nerve-wracking and boring, and one really doesn't know what to do to be useful. I've said it before, but CRISIS seems like a really daunting thing to write about, and your story is just SO convincing!

This sentence seems confusing, either I read it wrong or something happened to it during editing? "--sleeping in for as long as he could get away with wasteful."

Your use of summarized action and dialog through the opening of this chapter is really well placed. Some authors struggle with summary, because it can get telly-over-showy, and some don't summarize when they ought to, but you've found the perfect balance. It helps that you insert specific details into your summary.

Hah. "All quiet on the west side."

Man, it's so nice to return to this story! The prose is just so refreshingly masterful. Like, you know how reading a well-written story just kind of feels like less work? Your balance of description is also absolutely perfect, to the point that your writing has a kind of invisible quality. Like, I read it and get absorbed, rather than seeing the pen.

I like how Scorpius' affection for Rose is obvious to the reader without being belaboured, but also decoupled from Beauty. Like here, she's got ink smudged across her cheek, but he's clearly /into that./ You also include the language of annoyance ('smug smile'), which I think matches really well. I've said it before, but I like that Rose has her flaws, and I think she is owed them. I mean, she's a freaking BATTLESHIP in her own right (and working really hard), so she absolutely has a right to some smugness or whatever every now and again.

Also (you know I've read ahead and know where this is going) I love that you establish Respect before you establish liking. Scorpius' thoughts here about Rose's intelligence are really wonderful. Also, the idea that someone doesn't need to be THE SMARTEST EVER in order to be smart. Like, recognizing Methy's genius doesn't diminish from Rose.

It's very clever the way Scorpius kind of sets Rose off, and then lets his eyes kind of glaze over. It's clever because then /you/ don't have to detail whatever she's talking about, and also, because I KNOW THE EYES GLAZING OVER LOOK (my field is incredibly specialized and academic, so questions like 'what do you study?' tend to result in glazed eyes).

"Albus is leggy"--*snort laughs*

Your analysis of the whole Teamwork vs Individual Genius is wonderful! It's so satisfying to read an action/adventure story that also has so many smart and clever observations throughout!

The pacing of the hole 'riddle' sequence was genius. His realization was comically perfect!

I like that the crates have legs, because that's a canon spell! (Tantalegra?) Well done!

Aannd CLIFFHANGER! Nice. I remember why I read the first twenty-odd chapters all at once!

Yay, I will be back soon! I love this story so much!

xoxo
-Roisin

Author's Response: I would be sorry you've got so many chapters ahead of you to review, but... I'm not. Also I totally need to get back to Year Five, but I keep wanting to sit down and Review Properly. Maybe my 2 AM excitable rants were more productive!

A crisis can be horribly dull because either you're expected to be Ready For the Crisis even if there's nothing to do, in which case you're waiting around, or you're so stressed you can't think about anything BUT the crisis, even if there's nothing to do. The hospital waiting room comparison's about the only thing I could compare it too, though, personally, yeah. Not that this was a conscious choice. It just seemed inevitable with days of Waiting. The sweeping, overall STUFF of the crisis was just a PEST to write, and I don't think I knew what I was signing up for when I started, but... yeah. Came with the territory, so I am VERY glad it's worked.

'Get away with wasteful' - okay, I see the word and there was probably meant to be a 'without feeling' before the 'wasteful' there, but, no, no. Nothing happened to that sentence in editing. This is, I suspect, the problem!

I actually hate covering the passage of time in prose. I use scene skips WHENEVER possible. So I had to beat up and agonise over these segments SO MUCH - it's not a natural forte of mine, they were uncooperative paragraphs, so THANK YOU for saying it worked.

Albus is probably not making a conscious Western Front comment. I just couldn't bring myself to phrase the sentence differently.

I usually describe my own prose as 'workmanlike'; I know it's not flashy and florid, so I'm glad it's carrying the rest of the story and sweeping you along, because... well, if I'm not waxing lyrical in an exciting manner, better the penmanship is not noticed!

Scorpius slowly discovers he has a thing for brains. Or, yes, he sees Rose in her element, at her best, and her best is her being kind of frantic and forthright and brilliant but a bit unstoppable. And he's just IMPRESSED, so he kind of falls for that, warts and all. If she stopped to fuss about ink smudges, she would be less focused, and so would lose some of the vim and vigour he's drawn to.

While I suppose I could write a romance of flirty crushing growing to deeper affection, I tend to not. And these two certainly need to tear down their preconceptions about one another before anything remotely sensible or healthy could happen.

I feel sorry for Rose, stuck next to Methuselah. She really is the keeper of both her parents' legacy: brilliant like her mother, insecure about her achievements like her father (inevitably compared to her mother and family, and stood next to someone who overshadows her even at her best). I should ALWAYS give my Rose more moments of awesome, because she deserves them for all the hell I throw her way. Such as being one of the more unsympathetically flawed of my protagonists.

Yep. Scorpius glazing over means I don't have to make up more technobabble about magical medicine. Hell with that! And, cough, couldn't comment on setting off glazed eyes myself when on certain historical ramblings, cough.

Albus IS leggy. Scorpius appreciates hot.

I don't TRY to make these points, but it seemed natural. Methuselah is so introverted as to not be very useful to a team. Rose is better with people, and I think a bit more willing to do the rubbish leg-work bits of research and hard work (while I suspect Methuselah's very train-of-thought, just happens to be RIGHT), so she's way more use to Lockett.

I may have been thinking of the canon spell when I wrote walking crates (I don't recall, it was over 2 years ago I wrote this). I MAY have been thinking of Pratchett's Luggage...

So glad you came back! So glad you're still reviewing!

~ Slide


 Report Review

Review #2, by Siriuslover177 

19th June 2014:
Oh no... why cant things ever just go good for all of them? There is always something in the way of their plans. I really hope they get out of this okay. If not... *sigh*

I liked the whole thing with Scorp bringing Rose food! I like that, please continue:P I want them to get along well. No fighting.

And Jones... could he be any more down. He is saying there is no cure, I mean, they cannot have that attitude. They need to believe there is a cure.

I hope everything goes well!

~Sarah
10/10

Author's Response: If everything went right all the time, there'd be no story! Scorpius can be quite sweet, sorting Rose out. They're starting to learn how to get together. And Jones isn't so much saying there's NO cure as that it's complicated.

 Report Review

Review #3, by LightLeviosa5443 

20th November 2013:
This was a great chapter! I was going to read a long review but I'm so anxious to read the next one that I'm just going to say Brilliant job and leave it at that!!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Ha, this one IS one of my meaner cliffhangers. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell 

22nd October 2013:
Oh good. Irrelevant cure. Redcaps. This all looks promising.

Thank heavens there’s bacon involved, or this chapter would’ve been quite grim indeed.

Fave quotes:

“Hmm. She likes sausages, she hates you. I think she has impeccable taste."


"In a time of crisis, Scorpius had found his most useful contribution was to become the tea boy."

Author's Response: Bacon does make everything better, doesn't it? And poor Scorp. He needs a job, stat.

 Report Review

Review #5, by water_lily43175 

3rd November 2012:
I loved the beginning of this chapter. Absolutely loved it. I can't put into words exactly what it is that makes it so good, but it just IS. I'm sure you'll know what I mean.

Scorpius, caring about Rose by taking her food. NAW. But this actually says just as much about his general character as it does about his feelings for her, because he's been trying to feed Methuselah too. He's a good egg. Rose needs to see this. :)

So much hilarity at Scorp trying to be polite to Harley, and Harley totally rebutting him. Nice try, Scorp! And once again, it's all about Draco and generally being a Malfoy. Poor thing.

I GOT THE RIDDLE! *smugface*

Methuselah is utterly enchanting. I LOVE the way he talks! He has no social skills whatsoever but that's what makes him who he is. Love him.

And he has a point. It's intriguing, this whole "need a cure but need to find out what on earth we're curing" thing. HMM.

Redcaps? REDCAPS? Whadt? The proverbial faeces truly has hit the fan(ith). WANT MOAR.

Author's Response: Glad this beginning works; I rather hate writing this kind of "cover a big period of time and set up the new status quo" transition sequences, so I suppose that means I fuss over them. Glad to know it works, though I'm not sure why!

Scorpius is pretty eager to please right now. Despite his rather apathetic attitude he doesn't like not having anything to do, and this is a way he can help. But we can note he still kept on feeding Rose while he gave up on Methuselah. ;)

It is, indeed, ALL about Draco and generally being a Malfoy. As we shall see more of. And ha, Scorp is getting practice with the riddles. Glad Methuselah works. He's a real favourite of mine. Which, I suppose, makes them all favourites of mine, which is just as well. But he is a smart cookie despite his utter incompetence at working with others.

Hitteth the fan...eth... indeed. Redcaps. Dah dah DUM.


 Report Review

Review #6, by LillyRoseanne 

30th October 2012:
Ooh, Cliff Hanger!
Nice two chapters to catch up on, much appreciated.
Very good chapters too, always nice :D

Author's Response: Cliffhangers happen with me, you may learn to hate mine. I abuse the luxury of being the author, so *I* don't have to wait around for the shocking reveal. More shall come along soon, have no fear!

Thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #7, by AriesGirl40 

30th October 2012:
Oh my goodness! I suggest they get their shipments and bugger the heck back to the castle asap. I think a broom can outrun a redcap. Check out the craziness.

I enjoyed the chapter :)

Author's Response: A broom should be able to outrun a redcap, indeed. But can they get the brooms AND the shipments (duh duh DUM)? All shall be revealed!!

Thanks for reviewing.


 Report Review

Review #8, by MadiMalfoy 

29th October 2012:
Hello there! This is such an amazing story! Your prose is impeccable and you write like any published author would, and I appreciate your skills. It's not often I come across a well-written story like this. Keep up the amazing work; I am very excited and anticipating the confrontation with the redcaps! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I do try to keep a high standard in even my fanfic, because that makes it all the more fun, so I am glad it's appreciated. There will be plenty more to come, have no worry, and hopefully at a reasonable posting rate. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review