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26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Frances 

10th October 2016:
I read this ages ago and totally forgot to review but I've decided to re-read and oh I'd forgotten how much I like this story. Edie is fab and I'm probably too excited to go on and read more of this if I'm honest.
On a side note, all the barkeeps and bar backers I know (and I live in England) recieve tips from where they work, so it made sense to me

Author's Response: That's so interesting! And actually I hate hearing that because when I was in England this past September we rarely tipped because we thought we weren't supposed to, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN, I FEEL AWFUL NOW.

But I'm glad it makes sense for the story?

Oh man.

I love hearing that people are rereading. There are some huge (YUGE) edits in the works for this fic, so I appreciate you wading through the not-so-hot writing that is these first chapters. Thank you for sticking with Edie! ♥


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Review #2, by onestop_hpfan18 

14th August 2016:
I can't believe it took me a few years to come back to this fic after reading the first two chapters. I kind of dropped off the fanfic wagon for the last few years after graduating university when I had to get settled into a real adult job. But now I'm going back to a couple stories I had added as favorites before I vanished and have been binge reading/reviewing. I recently read/reviewed the entirety of Off the Rails and the 8 chapters of its sequel, Derailed, that have been posted in the past couple weeks. This is the next story I'm tackling.

I love your characterisation of Edie, and that scene with the drunks... especially after she had locked up and realised that 'Viktor Krum' had sounded more Scottish when he had apologised. He had to have been Oliver Wood and I think there's a part of Edie that realised that, but perhaps it hasn't quite fully sunk in enough to process the whole experience since all she wants to do is shove it into the past after being humiliated. I also had an inkling that Rose was going to ask Edie to write the article for her. I hope Edie grows a backbone and turns the article into Mr Ward himself instead of letting Rose take the credit when it's due. Edie deserves some recognition after busting her butt doing odd jobs for WW. Anyway, great chapter.

Author's Response: UM WHAT

A REVIEW ON EVERY CHAPTER ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Thank you so much!!! What a pleasant surprise! I actually logged into my account and saw that I had 20+ reviews and was like "Nah that's not right" but it WAS WOW ♥ ♥ ♥

I know what you mean about dropping off the fanfic wagon. This was my return to HPFF after five or six years, and even then I barely read other fic because I am terrible and a self-serving author who only wants attention all the time.

Tbh I think you're one of the few people who made the connection that "Krum" was actually Oliver doing a terribel drunk impression to make his stupid teammates laugh because he pushes everyone away and has zero friends and sometimes just needs companionship so he does stupid stuff like this. (Okay I just spoiled so much but you've obviously read all the way up through chapter 20 at this point)

(which is !)

(wow!)

Ehh I know what you mean about Edie growing a backbone and telling her editors the truth, but there's a lot on the line there. She's just a lowly intern and if she tells them that she's been lying and Rose has basically been plagiarizing etc. etc. etc. they'd surely tell her to get lost and find another sad soul who wants to work for free.

I'll try to answer as many of these as possible before leaving for work in the next few minutes!!

Thank you! ♥


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Review #3, by Penelope Inkwell 

28th July 2015:
Edie Edie Edie don't do it! This is a very bad decision! Even if your writing's great, you'll never get the credit. It'll just move Rose up in the world. She's getting a free article and you are getting precisely nothing from this. Except a lot of work. The Slytherin in me is horrified.

So drunk!Oliver was pretending to be Viktor Krum? Well that's certainly interesting. I do wonder why.

Man, I am not cut out to be a bar tender. I applaud Edie for holding out as long as she did, and I applaud her for kicking them out. And for having the sense to use magic in a barfight!

CC:

"Iíve kicked my fair share of kicking people out of pubs, and being kicked out."
--I think this is either meant to say, "I've done my fair share of kicking people out of pubs, and being kicked out, myself," or "I've kicked my fair share of people out of pubs, and been kicked out, myself."

Enjoying this story. And wondering what is going to happen when Edie discovers that the man who's caused her all this trouble is Oliver Wood!

--Penny

Author's Response: I think that the standard way to read this fic is with fist in mouth, cringing, "EDIE NO NO DON'T, PLZ STOP, WHY."

Ohh the Viktor Krum impression. Mostly I wanted a means for Edie to not know that she was meeting Oliver. I wanted her to dislike him--and for a good reason, I think--but to not realize who she was disliking. Something about that seemed slightly more refreshing to me, plot-wise, but that may not be true. I wanted to go into this deeper, but Oliver underwent a major character change halfway through writing him.. I touch on it briefly, but! Oliver was hanging out with the Reserves, which is kinda like the senior hanging out with the freshmen, because he's actually pretty lacking in the friendship department. Throughout the fic you never really see him with any friends. So he was finally out with the team, who kinda know he has a penchant for being drunk and stupid, and he was trying to make them laugh and impress them by doing a dumb impression.

(I don't think I ever actually explained that fully in the fic, so there you go!)

Ugh, bartending would be just the worst. Working in a restaurant that is open late and serves alcohol is taxing enough, trust!

Thanks for pointing out those errors! It always helps to have a fresh pair of eyes reading over the sentences I've read a billion times (but, like, three years ago.)

Thanks again! ♥


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Review #4, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

7th February 2015:
Bartering with journalists is something Iíve always been wary of. Itís an unspoken rule of the game; something gleaned from black and white Muggle films where men in jaunty hats get themselves into sticky situations by making deals with the press.

^ NEVER TRUST A JOURNALIST. We're a bad lot. Then again she's a pseudo-journalist and I too am a pseudo-journalist and I'm surprised it's such a big deal because at my internships I was required to do all the work for the so-called journalists and editors and write out their pieces for them and they would publish it under their name.

OH RIGHT, THAT'S WRONG.

Thank you kind author for being on my side in this argument.

Anywho, I'm obsessed with Wood. I used to write him all the time. I'm ashamed of the stories I wrote so they aren't on here anymore (ha-ha) with him at least. One might be making a comeback so it's refreshing to read this and be like 'SOMEONE LOVES MY OLLIE!"

Author's Response: AHHH! You have no idea how exciting it is to wake up to a new review for every chapter. Seriously, thank you! ♥ Do you have an account on the forums? I tried to send you a thank-you PM but had no luck. Anyway, seriously, it is so appreciated when HPFF activity has slowed and reviews are harder to come by.

Hmm, that's an interesting fact about your journalism internship. I never took that into consideration and wonder what I could have done to explore that in this fic... Probably would have cut out some unnecessary additional plot and backstabbing and conniving (there's so much of it) but oh well! Haha. Thanks for letting me know, though, if I ever try to turn this into OF or do something similar...

I actually have very little profession experience in the writing world (I studied Art History and Creative Writing and took the former path) but I've heard of a lot of artists who have interns who actually help to paint their canvas, etc., and aren't given any credit or compensation. Same kind of thing, I suppose, to a lesser degree.

I'm glad you like Wood too! He's one of the better minor characters I think. Oh gosh, don't even look at my first fic I published. It's from, like, 2005. I need to back up my reviews and delete all my old stories because they really are just mucking up the author page, I think.

Thank you!


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Review #5, by TheGirlOnFire 

17th July 2013:
Good for her, she's finally getting to write an article it's a shame it's not in her name.

TheGirlOnFire :)

Author's Response: You're right, it is a shame! But at least she's getting an opportunity of sorts? At least that's how she's rationalizing it to herself...

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Review #6, by marauderfan 

14th June 2013:
I'm so glad I randomly decided to click on this fic - I love it so far! It's so refreshing to see something that's set post-Hogwarts about characters in their twenties. And I completely identify with Edie as well, what with already making plans to become a cat lady. I'm in the same boat - the post-graduation "what am I even doing with my life, while my friends are all successful and I'm clueless" boat.

I also want to say how much I love the fact that you main character is a feminist. As a fellow feminist it is wonderful to see characters like her :) I hope she goes to that protest anyway, despite what Mr Ward says. (Maybe she can create a robot of herself that mans the refreshment table while she champions female goblins' rights.)

Ok that's my thoughts about the story so far, now for this chapter: Viktor Krum... OR IS HE? Based on his accent switching to Scottish, I think that's actually Oliver and now Edie is going to be interviewing him and heheheh things are going to get interesting. I can't WAIT until she walks in for the interview and probably wants to punch him. I do wonder why he was pretending to be Krum though.

So far I really like Edie's narration, and she seems to be that person whom just nothing goes right for her! But I love when she shouted "Father Christmas" at Rose, that had me laughing! Also, random side note, when she turned on the jukebox to Talking Heads I could totally see it being the song Life During Wartime and Edie's cleaning up the bar listening to "this ain't no party, this ain't no fooling around" to sum up a greeeat night, lol.

Okay I think I'm done rambling for now but expect to see me back here again with more rambly reviews in the future. Just added this story to my favourites and I'll definitely keep reading! :)

Author's Response: Yay for random clickings! They have brought me to some of my favorite HPFF stories of all time. And, uh, can we start a cat-lady support group?

I really wanted to write this to push my feminist agenda, haha. Really, I want people (regardless of gender) to realize that feminism isn't this thing you sign up for, like a voting party--it's just whether you innately think that everyone (again, regardless of gender) should be completely equal. It's not all burning bras or hating men or any of that... basically I want people, especially younger readers, to understand that it's not this horrible idea!

Hmmm... Is he Viktor Krum?! (No, he isn't, as you now surely know.) It takes quite a few chapters to figure out why Oliver was pretending to be Krum, but basically he was just trying to get a laugh out of his team mates and make them like him (wee insecure lad that he is.)

Yeeeahh! That would be a great song! I don't know exactly which one I was thinking of (it's different every time, and I wanted to leave it open to the reader) but I love that idea.

Yay, future rambly reviews! I always love them. ♥


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Review #7, by peppersweet 

29th May 2013:
I read this chapter about five centuries ago but I've only come to review now (I am a horrible, horrible person, forgive me).

Before I actually leave you a coherent review I wanted to mention something I read about the other day...apparently there's this new genre of fiction called NA fiction, as in New Adult; stories written with a protagonist between the ages of 18 and 25 that deal with, uh, 18 to 25 year old issues like flatshares and getting your foot on the employment ladder and writing exposees about Oliver Wood. I reckon that's the genre I read and write the most, but finding out about it reminded me of your story first! I'm so glad stuff like this exists on HPFF; there's a distinct lack of loveable protagonists who are my age in published fiction, and so it's marvy that there are people like Edie I can read about online who ~speak to me~ more. Thank you for dreaming her up!

I know who Viktor Krum really is because I've read ahead, so I'll withhold most of my capslocking comments for now but SWEET JESUS POOR WEE EDIE.

I love that the first exclamation Edie thinks of is 'FATHER CHRISTMAS'. I may start using that meself. It's a bit less, uh, offensive than what would usually spring to my tongue.

I. Do. Not. Like. Rose. GAARRGHR. EdieEdieEdieNo don't do it DON'T DO IT. Well obviously I want her to talk to Oliver and woo him with her charm but I DON'T WANT HER TO GET SCREWED OVER BY ROSEEE.

Marvy chapter ♥ and on to the next one!

Author's Response: HOLY GOD NINE JULIA-REVIEWS ARE YOU EVEN SRS RIGHT NOW I AM SCREAMING

OOoooh, I like the sound of NA fiction! It seems appropriate, as "they" (whoever "they" are) are now raising the age of adolescent to something like 30 years old, because so many people are being forced to move back in with their parents due to the economy. I'm so happy that you find this story, and Edie's plight, relatable. That was one of the most important things for me in writing this; I wanted readers to know that it's okay to be in such a situation, and that it's totally normal!

Yes! Father Christmas! It was just the first thing that popped into my (coffee-saturated) brain. I feel like it's time to bring it back for a reprise, in a later chapter... ;3

Thanks so much for ALL OF THESE REVIEWS HAVE I MENTIONED HOLY GOD WOW ♥


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Review #8, by Val 

23rd March 2013:
I AM CLAIMING REVIEW TWO HUNDRED.

I don't think I've ever told you exactly how much I like Lisa. She's collected, she's nice, she's modest, she's even pretty -- basically, she's perfect, but she doesn't realise it. She's also Edie's polar opposite, which I find makes their scenes together even more fun.

Deamusdie (because, admit it, it looks grammatically interesting) action, heehee. I'd missed that.

I cannot believe Edie referred to Lisa as a particularly scrumptious-looking, dead weasel. She really is a petty human being, isn't she? Particularly when this was supposed to be a compliment...

Hmm. Out of curiosity, how does Edie know Fleur? Is it because Fleur would be a famous Weasley after the war or are there other reasons that are relevant to the story?

HERE COMES OLIVER. Here come Edie's troubles too, hooray!

don't know a good beer from a broomstick Well, I'd like to see you fly on a can of beer or try to drink a broomstick. I wonder which one would be most painful!

I've just had a lovely mental image of Oliver Wood singing I Will Always Love You, bahaha. That and the centaur in Belize are going to follow me for life.

HAHAHAHA "I think you're in the wrong loo!"

Oliver drunk, I'll say it again, makes my entire day.

After this first kiss, I've got to say my expectations for the awkwardness of the next one are high. I hope there's a lot of nose and teeth bumping, and a lot of stammering.

I like the way Rose and Edie are so different. I wonder how Edie can ever have thought that they were something close to friends -- those two are like night and day. Knowing what happens further on, it's no surprise Edie can't stand Rose at all.

Now. CONGRATULATIONS ON REACHING THIS NUMBER OF REVIEWS SARAH &hearts

Author's Response: YOU SNEAKY THING YOU! hahahaha. ♥

I'm glad that you like Lisa. I know she seems too perfect but I swear she REALLY IS BASED OFF OF A REAL PERSON I KNOW WHOSE LIFE IS SO STUPIDLY PERFECT IT DRIVES ME INSANE. I do want her to have faults, though--one of them being that she's a bit of a pushover, another that she puts Justin above almost everything else in her life. Of course the person I know IRL is even more perfect in that neither of these weaknesses apply to her ;P

Deamusedie, hahaha. What about Deamudie? It rolls of the tongue quite nicely...

I think Edie would remember her from the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I also imagine Fleur to be this pop-culture celebrity in a Princess of Wales kind of way. She's beautiful and thin and famous for the "right reasons." (I'm not even going to get into that.) But I'd imagine that she's a bit of a celebrity at this point.

It's funny, at the time I was writing this chapter, I was actually decent friends with the girl who inspired Rose. haha. I think that L. turning crazy IRL inspired a lot of Rose's character--I never intended her to be so malicious and spiteful. But now that she is I love her so much more! :D

Thanks again so much! And I haven't forgotten your review, I promise! ♥


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Review #9, by ValWitch21 

21st March 2013:
We need more completely drunk Oliver. That is all. I can't leave a review as long as the others because I'm just not functioning properly anymore. I really wish I cold though, but my brain is fried.

So, I will stick to the obvious.

YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD, I WILL FIND YOU AND STEAL YOUR TALENT -- once I've had a nap.

Amazing chapter, as always!

Author's Response: Gurl, I am not surprised. That last review was amazing. And intense! I really appreciate you coming back for the next chapter, even though your physics homework is still in your lap xD

(I totally say you should nap instead though.)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #10, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

14th March 2013:
Okay, so I meant to mention this in the review for the last chapter but I forgot, so let me just say it now before I forget again: I really love your use of 1st person (and present-progressive tense) in this!! Not very many fics that I've read use either of those elements (or the combination), so I just wanted to say "Kudos" for using both of them, and for pulling them off so well!!

Secondly, "FATHER CHRISTMAS!" Bwahahaha!! That line had me rolling with laughter!!

And thirdly, I loved seeing the start of suspense in this chapter! My eyebrows furrowed when I read that the guy who kissed Edie was Krum, because I was like "I thought the summary said Wood?"... but when Edie realized that the accent had changed, I was like O.O!!! I really can't wait to see what you've got in store for me in the next chapter!!

I did notice one, tiny little grammar thing, and it's so tiny that I thought about not even mentioning it because it didn't affect my understanding of the story at all, but I thought I'd just point it out anyway, because if it were my story, I'd want to know. In the paragraph where "Krum" says "Excuse me" to Edie, there's an extra word in one of the sentences: "when I see (THE A) beard growing...". Like I said, it's not a big deal AT ALL, I just thought I'd point it out in case you hadn't noticed it!!

Anyways, great chapter, and I'm off to read the next!! 10/10!!

Author's Response: No, I totally appreciate those little glitches being pointed out. I'm constantly going back and editing, and I've read this story so many times that it helps to have a fresh pair of eyes. I think I've fixed that one already in one of said updates, but I'll be sure to keep an eye out!

Father Christmas also had me laughing... but I am incredibly biased ;) And good for you, for noticing the Wood thing! A lot of people--at least those who have left reviews--seemed to not have caught it. Which excited me. But at the same time I started worrying that it wasn't obvious enough xD



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Review #11, by soapman333 

24th February 2013:
On to the next chapter,
She's avoiding Mr. Ward? Oh man, but he's so funny! Jk, I understand. I would probably avoid the kid, too.

"I might as well be a guy for all the attention I receive" this made me laugh :D

Oh Dean, it looks like he's been friendzoned. Hard core. Don't worry, Dean! We shall be single and heartbroken together (Mildred is still my favorite though, so, I hope that won't be awkward. In fact, you're like fifth on my list).

Hello there, Rose. You are incredibly lazy, but I'm happy you're letting our wee Edie take over an article. I mean, that's a little weird for you to do, but super nice.

Why do I talk to your characters? Good question.

Jack

Author's Response: Hello again!

I wanted Edie to spend some time outside of the WW office in the first few chapters, because she'll be focused on it so much later in the story. And I don't like it when we see people in the same locations over and over xD So yes, she's avoiding Ward for now!

You're the first person to notice Dean's situation right off the bat, haha. (I have been friendzoned many a time as well, no worries.) But congratulations on the keen eye! :P

Hahahaha, you are the first person I have ever heard call Rose "nice." Just you wait. Just wait...

And please continue to talk to them, it's amusing.


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Review #12, by UnluckyStar57 

19th February 2013:
Hi!! Congratulations on another awesome chapter!!

I love the sharp contrast between Edia and Lisa; how Lisa is always so put-together and perfect compared to Edie's best-attempts-gone-bad. It almost makes me hate Lisa, because of her perfection. But I can't hate her!! She's too nice!!

Ugh. Very realistic characters you've got here. Fantabulousness!

The group of rich people that came in were stupid and gross. I loved how you made the time pass by with the amount of drinks they were having. Instead of saying "Time passed," you illustrated the passage of time with countless numbers of alcoholic beverages. Nice!!

Victor Krum peeing on the wall?! LOLOLOLOLROFL!!! Too funny!! That's the kind of gag that really gives this story its edge: you're not afraid to have your characters do some really unorthodox things!

Of course, there is some speculation as to whether or not he actually IS Victor Krum. I think not!! But the question remains: Why was Oliver pretending to be Vicky when he already has his own Quidditch fame? Was he just drunk out of his mind, or was there some other reason?

I am glad he apologized for all the damage he did, although he insisted on getting into so much trouble before he calmed down.

As for Rose... HATE. I just really don't even like her and her laziness. She has a paid position and Edie doesn't, for crying out loud! She should be more responsible or grateful that she, at least, has a chance to show the bosses her good work!! I think you've done a very good job of making me hate her. :)

I feel like Edie agreeing to write the article was a sort of Faustian deal with a pretty Mephistopheles. It's just a sticky situation; something that she's been waiting her whole career for, and here's a girl offering it to her. However, since Rose is involved, there's bound to be trouble!!

Great chapter!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Why hello!

I'm glad you like Lisa! I know I've said this countless times, but she's based very closely off of one of my own friends (beautiful, kind, fiance she's crazy about, travelling, dream job, etc.) So while some readers find her a little unrealistic, she seems completely palpable to me because she's based off of someone I know!

I'm glad you caught that Krum was actually Oliver! A lot of readers--at least the ones who have commented--didn't seem to do that. In my mind, Wood was just outrageously drunk and acting like a complete fool. I imagine he thought his Krum impersonation was particularly hilarious, and I picked him for Wood to impersonate because I feel like he's more popular than other players as a double-threat. Meaning he was a Quidditch hero AND a Tri-Wizard competitor. :D

Glad to know that Rose frustrates you so! hehe. I feel the very same. And you're spot-on with the article situation.

Thanks so much for the review! ♥


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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter 

23rd January 2013:
Hello!

Hey, there! Its Gabbie here with your requested revie and I'm pretty sure that I'd favorited this but it works out lovely for me regardless!
So, what a wild night for Edie, huh? I liked how you chose to open this chapter though, I was really curious about her relationship with Lisa (And working in that pub has to be torture). It seems that there's a bit of jealousy regarding her and after you described Lisa, versus Edie, I sort of felt bad for her. She tries hard and then just gets smacked around with reality but I hope that that doesn't damage their relationship, she made some cutting remarks that I picked up on. D': Perhaps its all the stress at WW that's making her sort of catty, though Lisa took it well, but then again, she was sort of tired wasn't she? I'm hoping that Edie's situation with WW goes better but by the end of this chapter, I was both rooting and worrying about her.
But I'll talk about that later!
I'm not sure which was funnier, the descriptions of the snobby group coming into the pub or the later moments with the accent-changing Viktor Krum! I was feeling so much sympathy for Edie in this chapter, I could practically see her foaming at the mouth as the orders kept coming and coming and coming. Hahhaha. Poor her. And then, she had to clean up the loo?! Uhm, way to make her night keep spiraling down but I think you might have done that on purpose to give a bit of hope at the end of this chapter. Maybe? I hope. D':
It'd make Edie feel better about that really nasty kiss from "Viktor Krum", I've got my doubts about this for some reason. Suspicious about that!
So, Rose! Sneaky little thing isn't she? I think Edie sort of underestimated how sly she could be, she mentioned the article so calmly while leaving out important information to draw her in. Well done on her part but Edie was about to explode if she didn't get answers, but I think she should be more careful. I dunno, but I think Rose is up to something a bit more fishy than what she told Edie and I can't wait to see how everything plays out!
So, Oliver Wood is going to be making an appearance, soon? Finally! I've been trying to see how she would react to him in my head and I can't quite picture her being formal and polite. And for some reason, I don't think Oliver Wood is going to be polite and easy either. Which is just more fun for me. :3
So, I don't really have any CC's for this! It was a tad long but since I make really long chapters for my stories, I plowed ahead without any problems. Still loving your characters and your realistic plot so keep up the good work! :D Thanks for the request too, honey, I love a good story.
Much love,
Gabby

P.S.: I will always love you shall be listened to by me later. Hahahaha. In homage to you and Ms. Whitney Houston! Hahaha.

Author's Response: Hello!!!

I think Edie has kind of resigned herself to accepting the fact that it's a shoddy job, and allows herself to be amused by it. Some of my friends who are bartenders just kind of go with the flow because you make good money, even if you're basically babysitting drunk people all night xD

Her jealousy of Lisa is tricky, because I don't want to portray Lisa as a bad person. Nor do I want Edie to be seen as one for not being fully supportive of her best mate. She does come across as catty at times, especially in the next chapter--I think she's just so frustrated by the hand that life dealt her that she's becoming a bit snarky. Bad Edie!

I've thought about shortening my chapters, and spreading out the content, but I'm just not sure yet... I want to have about 3,000 words per chapter and I think this one was almost to 5,000. Something I'll be considering, definitely!

YES LISTEN TO WHITNEY HOUSTON. hahaha. I wasn't sure exactly what tune I should have Krum belting out but that one seemed the most entertaining in my head.

Again, thank you so much for your reviews! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such thoughtful feedback :D


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Review #14, by patronus_charm 

19th January 2013:
I reviewed chapters 1 and 2 a while ago, and I really liked the story, so when I saw you needed 1 more review I decided to help out :D

I have to say I love the name of the pub - The Posioned Apple, it reminded me of Snow White, which has a witch in it(well an evil step-mother who can do mean things, so sort of a witch), so I wonder if in HP that story is real?

I really love all the characters, and the hints towards the other ones the bit when Edie was wondering whether they liked Fleur Delacour thin made me laugh a lot!

I can imagine that Eastern European singing I Will Always Love You, sounds a lot like my rendition of it, why do people always have to put down bad singers, we want to sing well, it's just not our fault we don't have the genes to sound like Whitney Houston!

Sorry I keep on going off tagent in this review, I tend to do that a lot, but your story is thought provoking in a funny way, so I feel the need to express these thoughts! I probably sound really weird, but trust me I'm not that crazy ;D

Wah! Viktor Krum, did not expect him to appear, but it was funny to see him, perhaps not for Edie!

I loved Rose's attempts at trying to say Puddlemere! And yay, Edie gets an article she'll actually want to write, and gets to meet Oliver Wood, what more could you want! Kiana :D

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much!! 100 reviews is so amazing :3

That's an interesting point. I would assume that of course canon characters have heard the fairy tale, but I've never wondered about it being real in the HP-verse... Food for thought!

hahahaha. You're right, nothing wrong with not being able to carry a tune. I just imagine a Quidditch player to be so good at tactics, athleticism and everything else that he is seriously lacking in the singing department ;D

Thank you so much, again, for helping me reach 100 reviews!!!


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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

5th January 2013:
Hello :)

I just have to say I love this story so much. Edie is such an amazing character. Reading her thoughts and take on things is just so funny, you have me constantly laughing throughout the whole thing! Her wit is classic.

Hmm the mysterious Krum... or was it Krum. I was actually really surprised when you said it was Krum to start with even though I really should have seen it coming! But then he punched someone who shouted Bulgaria and then was Scottish?! Count me as one very confused but very intrigued reader! I'm looking forward to getting to the bottom of this - I'm hoping it's explained anyway. When you mentioned a Scot accent I couldn't help but think of Oliver as I'm sure he was Scottish in the film but I probably just have Oliver on the brain!

Aha! I was hoping Edie would get this assignment and she's finally going to meet Wood yay :D looking forward to reading their first meeting!

By the way - I love Rose too. Writing "Throw it?" next to the snitch had me in stitches!!

Great chapter again. This story is great!!

Lauren

Author's Response: Hm, I don't know, was it Krum? YOU WILL HAVE TO READ ON TO FIND OUT DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE

;D

I originally planned on Mr. Ward just giving Edie the assignment himself, but that a) didn't lend enough drama to the story and b) would mean that Mr. Ward was actually conscious of her desire to write articles, so I decided against that, hehe.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #16, by Mystique 

29th December 2012:
Hey. I'm sorry a bit late with your requested review, but here I am ready to review.

I really love Edie - already I feel like she is one of my friends - and her narrative tone is really great. Especially her sarcasm and wit. I love this comment "Dean, Seamus and I frolicking through a field towards a giant pint of ale at the end of a rainbow." I laughed when I read it.

Poor Edie. She didn't really have a great night did she. What with being kissed by a drunk Viktor Krum and all that. Although I'm not to sure that it really is Viktor Krum as I don't think that he would have punched someone that supported Bulgaria and he most certainly does not have a Scottish sounding accent. But I think Rose's offer makes up for quite a bit of what's happened.

In your area of concern you asked about Rose an whether she was a bit to much like a stock character. I personally don't think she is like one at all. She has her own developed personality and it doesn't - to me at least - seem at all cliched. I don't really think I've read about a character quite like her. And although I loved the little diagrams she had about the Snitch with the words "Throw it" next to it, I think that she might know a little bit more about Quidditch as she most likely attended the matches whilst at Hogwarts and would have probably picked up on a few details. I'm certainly intrigued though, as to why Rose asked Edie to write an article for her as it doesn't seem like an article that one would turn down.

Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you thank you thank you!

I really am kind of mean to poor Edie, aren't I? ha. There's something to be said about the young female in pop culture lately; I think that in many cases her roles in humorous movies/TV shows have changed drastically from the hot yet clumsy girl next door to the really flawed, awkward, down-on-her-luck type that was traditionally reserved for male roles (a la Bridesmaids or New Girl?). Either way I am so glad that women are finally getting to play these roles and are being real human beings. So I wanted my OC to support that idea, instead of these sensible, scandalously dressed, clumsy and attractive women typically found in pop culture (like Big Bang Theory)... Wow. End rant. haha, sorry, it's easy for me to get on my soap box!!

Anyway! That's a good point about Rose probably knowing something about Quidditch due to her time at Hogwarts. I think I'll need to clarify in the story. Maybe she just never went because sports aren't her thing, or maybe she only went to stare at the boys and has no idea what actually happened during the games... XD

Thank you again, times a zillion, and pardon my lengthy response!


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Review #17, by hannnahgracr 

8th December 2012:
Hey! It's hannnahgracr finally getting round to your requested review.

I've just read the first 2 chapters as well and I really enjoyed them. They set up the plot well, you didn't rush into it too quickly which was good. I like how you took the time to set up the characters first before developing the plot. Anyway onto this chapter...

I really love Edie, the narrative is fantastic. The humour through out the chapter is great.

The whole pub scene was brilliant, I feel it really allowed you to develop Edie. Bringing Viktor Krum into it was a great idea!

I love the characterisation of all your characters, Lisa seems a wee bit too perfect thought. But I suppose it emphasises the contrast between Edie's life and her's. She is a very likeable character though.

The ending has really made me want to read on!

Sorry that I couldn't think of any criticism, I really enjoyed this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! Yeah, I know Lisa seems really unrealistic at times; I guess that's just meant to show how ridiculously lucky she is? I modeled her after my friend who is extremely beautiful, kind, used to be a professional ballerina, is engaged to the love of her life, traveled throughout europe for fun, lives out in the country in a beautiful house, just had a baby, etc. Her life is totally unreal, isn't it? ;D

Thank you so much for your review. :)


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Review #18, by ChaosWednesday 

8th December 2012:
Hey there! Sorry it took me so long to get to your review, but there are these evil things called exams, and they have an appetite for time :P

I still really love the narrative voice! In the last chapter you sort of went overboard with the sarcasm and classic tomboyishness (especially during the conversation in the break room. I think I might have forgotten to mention it in my last review, I'm not sure...). But here it was nearly perfect: fast-paced, graphic and funny!

I am still slightly concerned about the characters, though. They are consistent and fun, but somehow flat. The perfect freind who has a carreer,boyfriend, looks,patience, everything in the world? I can't really picture her because, although she seems to fit an idea very well, she isn't really a person, but a type. We have met her many times before, in different films and stories. I also can't quite picture Rose. She is the "normal girl" type, the one who likes Cosmopolitans and carries a mirror around to fix her lipstick...ok, that explains what KIND of person she is, but not really what it would be like to meet her. Do you understand what I mean? What you are doing here is a good tactic for creating secondary characters: giving us the characteristics that would help us place them into already popularly-established categories our-selves. But I like to see characters show us that, yes, they are a stereotype (most people are), but there are things they do that are unique to their personality and demonstrate either a very charactersitic way of maintaining their chosen stereotype or imply some sort of inner conflict. Basically, no one is just a tomboy, a popular girl, an overachiever etc.They all have very specific ways of living out these stereotypes. Usually,all it takes is one or two details. I am not telling you to give every minor character a spin-off! I hope I'm making sense. What you are doing here is used very often and there is nothing wrong with it. But I believe that the difference between a spot-on stereotype and a complex character (no matter how minor) is what makes the difference between good entertainment and good literature. The only reason I am being picky about this is because this story is very good and could use some minor changes that would make it awesome.

Oh, one more thing that I notice many people forget to take into account: The War was,what, no more than 10 years ago? I know people move on fast, but surely not from something like that? What were your characters doing in the war? Who did they lose? What is the world like now, is there any collective guilt, are there ideological movements that resulted from the war?

All in all, this chapter was very good, you built up some suspence (what happened to Krum's accent??), moved the plot along, told us more about Edie.

I'll r&r the 4th chapter as well I think, quite looking forward to it! cheers!

Author's Response: Oh, yes, I have heard of these exams. They are very evil indeed, from what I can remember! I'm glad you survived and were even so kind as to review my story :3

I actually considered taking out the bit with Mildred in the kitchens at WW, but I haven't quite decided yet. Maybe when the story is finished and I'm making my final cuts, because I totally agree with you ;)

I really appreciate your suggestions about my minor characters--I've been trying to give Lisa more of a sarcastic side as I've been writing to make her less of the two-dimensional supporting role of best friend, but I guess I'm still falling short... I'll probably send you a PM if that's all right, because I want to develop Rose and Lisa as much as possible. I feel like *I* know them inside and out, and all their little quirks, but I guess I'm not conveying it well.

I also realize that I totally am ignoring the war, and I guess that my story is slightly AU for it, but I felt as though there were a lot of post-war fics on HPFF that were focusing on the post-war, and I wanted to emphasize a culture rebuilding itself. Not to say that it's something that needs to be ignored, or anything, but I just wanted to try my hand at not writing angst/drama and I think this was my way of doing that. :)

Thank you so much for the very helpful review, as always!


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Review #19, by teh tarik 

18th November 2012:
Hello :) I came back to read the third chapter! Took me awhile, but I was very interested to see how your story progressed. I'm glad I came back because I'm beginning to like Edie more and more with each chapter.

It's got funnier and I know I said this before, but I really enjoy Edie's sarcasm and wit. Her voice really livens up the narrative. I often have a lot of trouble staying focused when reading stories or chapters (including my own, ha!) longer than...say 3000 words, but I just flew through this chapter, which was nicely punctuated with Edie's hilarious comments and musings. The writing's definitely smoother and more graceful here than the previous two chapters; there weren't any large tracts of backstory / context dropped in. And I was smiling through certain parts.

And oh my god, Krum! That was too funny and he's sort of adorable :D While Oliver has yet to make a proper appearance in your story, I think I'm going to root for Krum / Edie :)

And of course, your characterisation is excellent as usual - Lisa and Rose, in particular. And I'm glad we get to see Edie in her other job (the dead-end bartending one). There's so much detail to her lifestyle and character and her views of society (posh socialites from Chelsea who somehow stumbled into this pub and donít know a good beer from a broomstick.) that her life just seems so real, along with all the settings (you've managed to portray a less exciting and more humdrum side but utterly realistic of the Wizarding World and I love it!). Hope I'm making sense here; my sentences are running into each other and everything.

And this would be my favourite line:

They want champagne with gin and huckleberry vodka with muddled grapefruit salt on the rim bitters over a sugar cube shaken not stirred and on and on and on--until by the end of it, I'm ashamed to say, I'm pouring juice with sparkling water.

OK, that's all for now. This probably isn't as detailed a review as my previous ones, but I thought of doing some nice easy reading today and I hope you don't mind that I haven't got any helpful suggestions :) But there's probably not a lot of things that can be improved anyway because this was such an enjoyable and well-written chapter! I'll be waiting for your next update :)

-teh

Author's Response: OMGOMGOMG you came back! :D *throws you cookies and other such treats*

I was actually having a lot of personal turmoil as to whether or not I need to go back and shorten my chapters because they are on the lengthy side, but I really didn't want to XD So I'm glad to hear that it was a fast read for you despite being 3,000 words! And yes, there is a lot less back story here. Which is why I was thinking of going back and removing/rearranging some from the earlier chapters. I'm constantly editing this story, so we will see, we will see.

Oohhh, Krum/Edie you say? ;) Glad to hear that you liked it. Hehehe.

And seriously, I appreciate any review at all, even when they aren't so long that I make this face O_O before flailing with excitement.

My next two chapters are all finished, just going under some of that serious editing I've been mentioning before I submit them to HPFF! :) Thank you again, times a zillion, for your review!!!


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Review #20, by Jchrissy 

15th November 2012:
Hi darling! Iím finally here!! Sorry about the insane wait *ninja eyes*

I really love Edieís thoughts regarding Lisa. Especially that, though she seems jealous of the attention her friend gets, she doesnít seem to blame her in the slightest. And Lisa isnít doing it purposefully, showing up in a half see through blouse or anything. The fact that it upset Edie that she doesnít get that sort of attention around Lisa and that she does things like bewitching her engagement ring (HAHA!) shows that sheís completely human but still a good friend.

Oh my gosh, the part about her amplifying her voice to let the woman across the bar know that a certain body part fell out, AWESOME. You have no idea how many times Iíve wanted to call someone out for their dress being low enough that it could/did happen. I literally LOLíd at that point.

And the part about her picking up on subtle hints, hahaha. Have I mentioned how much I really love Edieís dry/sarcastic sense of humor??

Random note and personal opinion. I think you should up the bar tab. Eight Galleons, two Sickles, seventeen Knuts. is about eighty five dollars, and that would probably have gotten them each three drinks (assuming heís buying for five). And cheap drinks, not fancy cocktails. This doesnít have anything at all to do with your story, obviously, I just think more in the hundreds would have worked to further show his preposterous spending :P.

Ahhh I momentarily forgot this was going to be an Oliver/OC and was rooting for Krum and Edie! Haha, ooops! I really donít think I could do what Edie has agreed to with Rose. I wouldnít be able to stand my work being under someone elseís name, especially if it ends up being well liked!

And we will soon meet the mysterous Oliver! Awesome!

This chapter was incredibly amusing and went even further to show that, despite Edie having such an energetic personality, the girl works her dang butt off! She also really isnít living the dream life it seems like she may have oped. BUT she has two steady jobs, good guy friends and an awesome best friend, people that care about her, and sheís soon to have a hunky romance ;)

I really enjoyed this chapter, mídear!!

Jami

Author's Response: Yay, yay, yay! What wonderful reviews you leave. I don't care how long the wait is, they're always so lovely :)

I am constantly nervous while writing the friendship between Edie and Lisa, because I want it to be believable and I was really trying to avoid the stock-character best friend who is sweet and compliant, because sometimes it feels like they're just there to be there, or so that the main OC can have a friend, and aren't actually contributing to the story.

And thanks for the note on the price of the bar tab! I actually worked it out to be $80 ;) But it was meant to be his bar tab alone. So I need to make it clearer that it was just for his drinks--thanks for your suggestion!

I am so very glad that you liked this chapter. Your writing is always amazing, so your opinion is certainly valuable :) Thanks again times a zillion!


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Review #21, by Elphaba and Boyfriends 

11th November 2012:
Hello, sorry it has taken me so long to get this review posted! I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit. I like the balance between character development (especially Rose) and moving the plot forward.

I like the clever names you come up with for pubs and things, like The Poisoned Apple. Little details like this make the story come alive. A couple of things that made me laugh were the piss-vandal incident in the ladies room and the Guernica reference. Besides being clever, it worked: I could imagine the fighters contorted and entangled body parts caught mid-motion. :)

I noticed a couple small grammar things, but nothing worth worrying over.

There are some interesting questions raised in this chapter, like what is keeping Rose too busy to work on this story? Is Oliver Wood masquerading as Viktor Krum? And if so, why? Hopefully the answers will eventually be revealed! :)

Author's Response: Ah! I'm so glad you got the Guernica reference. Bit of my art history nerd coming out there ;) I have a very lovely Beta reader, but I'll be sure to give the chapter a once-over myself for grammar issues--thanks for letting me know! And yes, some interesting questions indeed... they will certainly be answered as the plot unfolds, promise!

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Review #22, by MissMdsty 

6th November 2012:
Hey there!

I ust finished reading and I'm hooked on this. I can't wait for her to meet Oliver. Edie is brilliantly written, she's funny and sarcastic and just captures the essence of what it's like being a twenty something girl trying to find your way.

Update soon!

XoXo

Author's Response: Hello there, Nano mum! :)

I'm glad that you like it. I was hoping that people would find Edie to be someone they can relate to, because I think she embodies most everyone's deepest fears about their future life (Am I ever going to get my dream job? Am I going to be alone forever? How long until I can afford to eat more than ramen and pop tarts?)


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Review #23, by SereneChaos 

4th November 2012:
" They all look to be a few years older than I and have clearly been drinking. I can tell by picking up on their subtle hints, such as the way that one bloke immediately raises his arms over his head and lets out a war-cry that silences the bar."

^^ Awesome line. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! :)

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Review #24, by LittleMissPrincess 

4th November 2012:
ehmagod i absolutely ADORE this story. like, theres no limit to the amount of appreciation and love i have for this.
First of all, love the characters. Edie, is a fabulous OC, and then theres Deam & Seamus who i practically (never) see in fanfics. And then theres Lisa, the lovely but slightly better that our OC in all ways except one.
And then of course, Oliver Wood, and you include Victor Krum in this -wow. And Theo Nott.

I mean, if this isn't a recipe for some nice successful pie, i don't know what it.

Not to mention the awesome feminist output you gave, in the previous chapter, with the lady-goblin rights.

Oh, and when you mentioned that Victor Krum's voice sounded Scottish at the end - that was Oliver, wasn't it?
Because she didn't even look at his face, so that she wouldn't know, AND IT IS, ISN'T IT? foreshadowing time!
And because Oliver is scottish and amazing.

Right so, this story has to be the best thing since portable nutella.

update soon!

Author's Response: Aww, why thank you! I *love* successful pie!!! You are so sweet, thanks so much for taking the time to read my whole freakin' story! I really appreciate it. Also--tell me more about this pourable nutella.

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Review #25, by Courtney Dark 

27th October 2012:
Hey! I'm really enjoying this fic so far-I don't read many post-Hogwarts story's because I often find them unrealistic and the characters unbelievable. However you have done a really good job making Edie and all the other characters very non-one dimensional. I can't wait for Oliver Wood to be introduced and I'm looking forward to seeing his interaction with Edie.
Keep up the good work, and please update soon!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so excited to have a review from somebody who I *didn't* have to request from! ;) I'm glad you like Edie...I think she's my favorite OC so far. It's nice writing from the POV of somebody who isn't a complete pushover for once! Thank you again. The first half of chapter four is written, and I'm having so much fun with it!

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