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28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

20th January 2015:
More than a few glistened with the tears that often fell when you realized that life doesn’t care whether you’re ready to grow or not.

^ You have me on an emotional roller coaster. I cried from that point on even though the letter from the Potter's made me chuckle and Moody. I just can't seem to handle this story! I think you're the first person to ever convince me of this time period. You and I both know I write (or did write) mostly humor. Ridiculous things half the time but this, this is fantastic. It's everything I would want for Lily and James (and of course the others) story. I feel like I know them, is that weird? As if I'm making a connection to them. They're real and I think that's amazing because I've never really been convinced of Lily in fan fiction. She's always so snooty and rude to James and James is always so beyond extra it makes it hard to see them together at times. This story creates that for me.

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Review #2, by Europa27 

3rd February 2014:
I like your story very much. It is very good although, although the though keeps popping into my head, God all of them die long before they have a chance to live. And to see peter, it turns my heart. Just noticed a couple of things :
Remus was a prefect, but he says here in the story that we will leave if you are not sure before the Prefects meeting.
Mad-eye has both his eyes, during the trial of Bellatrix and others, as seen in the Goblet of Fire, which is long after this story takes place.
If you could just make sure of these two, yours would be the best James/Lily story.

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Review #3, by Rusty 

22nd October 2013:
Hey!
I just wanted to say I love this story! Your characterisations are really believable and the plot is fascinating :)
Just one tiny, little thing: though I thought you portrayed Moody brilliantly, I don't think he would have actually lost his eye yet... In GoF when Harry goes in the pensieve he sees Karkaroff's trial and Moody still has two normal eyes then. And since Karkaroff isn't convicted until after Voldemort disappears after trying to kill Harry, Moody must have lost his eye after the first Wizarding war, not during it like I first thought!
Just thought I'd point that out because I'm not sure how canon you want to make this story :) everything else seems to fit in really well with JKR's version of things!
Hope you don't mine my little bit of what I hope is constructive criticism, your writing really is amazing! I'm looking forward to seeing how the rest of this story turns out :)

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Review #4, by MissesWeasley123 

23rd August 2013:
Hello Jami! I managed to come back what with writing and over doing myself on the forums.. I do happen to be spending far too much time on that site. Bless it.

But what a chapter to return to! Well, two chapters, but you know what I mean :) I am determined to finish this before summer ends, just in time for the next installment of ADD (which has a beautiful banner, but you already know my views on that)

Ugh, Petunia. Ugh, ugh, ugh. There's not much I can say about her. That whole flashback was just cruel, seeing her hurt that poor kitten :( I'm glad that Lily sent her something though, maybe things will get a better due to her parents death. I assume they will, seeing as how we know that Petunia did once send them a vase in the near future.

I'm loving how you are now exposing the threats of war, the fact that it's happening , and we get to see what the Marauders are doing about it. They can't do much, but I love how they really are trying to take a stand of some sort.

I was literally shouting internally, "PETER'S A RAT, KILL HIM!!!" Though he isn't one at the moment, but he will become one and this is just making me despise him so much more... How dare he...

Haha, Shane! What a great dad. I think he is admirable, and I loved this quirkiness at the end of the letter! Sirius and Lily at the Potters! Yay! I can't wait!

Now, excuse me for leaving this review at such a short note, but I must go on and read more.

Author's Response: Hi there, my dear! I'm SO SORRY this response has taken this long. I would tell you why, but there just isn't enough room in this little box to get into that, haah!

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! Or, chapters ;)! Showing the threats of war little by little, and drawing the realism of it slowly over everything instead of just throwing the characters from normal life, to soldiers, was really important to me.

Thank you again so much for your amazing reviews, I'm off to answer the next! ♥


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Review #5, by nott theodore 

2nd August 2013:
Hi darling!

Okay, so I'm sure it's no surprise to you by now that I'm saying this, but this is yet another chapter that I love!

The opening dream was such a lovely way to begin this chapter. I really enjoyed the chance to see such a happy memory with Lily and Petunia with a relationship that isn't as broken as it now seems to be. I love the way that you manage to build up a picture with loads of depth and backgrounds to all of these characters without making it feel like you're overloading us with information.

The memory was actually really poignant and it had this dreamlike quality but still managed to feel real and solid (if that even makes sense...). I liked the insight that it gave us into Petunia as a character; she seemed to want to spend time with Lily but there were moments, like when she was asking her to repair the mug and throwing the snowballs at the cat, which help to develop the reasons which will lead to her abandoning Lily completely. It was nice to see them as a happy family though, even though I could see the cracks beginning to appear. Petunia is obviously jealous of Lily and is struggling to come to terms with the fact that she's different, but at the same time she still loves her sister.

Another detail that I found really clever was the fact that Petunia couldn't comprehend that Lily wasn't allowed to do magic outside of school - it's clearly something that will continue when she and Vernon are so scared of Harry performing magic in Privet Drive. There was also the mention of Severus breaking James' glasses and them being fixed - I found it very cute, because it reminded me of Harry and Malfoy later on.

Lily's parents are amazing! Seeing them all so happy and seeing her parents as such nice people makes me so sad to think about what happened to them, and emphasises the fact that Lily is still mourning for them. The dream reminded me that she can totally empathise with Amelia Bones as well, and I wonder whether there will be any interaction between them in future chapters.

I thought it was really sweet that Lily wrote Petunia a letter after that dream, and to be honest it feels like a natural reaction. I'm so pleased that this story does show that a relationship between siblings is so complex that it's very unlikely it would end completely suddenly.

The prefect meeting was interesting to read - I enjoyed the chance to see Lily and James in their respective roles, and the fact that their friends all came to the meeting as well to give them support. It reminded me a little of the DA meetings in the fifth book, actually. I liked the introduction of the likable Slytherin with Briscoe - it's nice to see some of the cliches being broken in this story. It was interesting to see Sirius sitting by Belle as well, as they're clearly becoming closer.

I thought that you transitioned really well from the dreamy, happy atmosphere at the beginning of the chapter to the darker atmosphere which takes over later on. The descriptions of their moods seemed pretty accurate and believable, with their tense reaction to the news about the attack and the gradual realisation that the war is going to affect their lives in the worst way.

Moody's appearance was just perfect! It really helps to bring about the realisation that the war is just outside their door, waiting to affect every one of them. You captured his voice brilliantly, especially with lines like:

"You remember those faces. With things going the way they're going, some of them will be the ones that are trying to kill you, and some will be a headstone in the graveyard."

That in particular strikes me as something that Moody would say - he doesn't mince his words, does he? It reminded me of the (admittedly fake) Moody teaching the classes in the Goblet of Fire. The presence of Rosier hikes up the tension in this scene and kind of showed that "the enemies are within the walls"... they're facing much more than the distant threat of Death Eaters.

Frank's reaction was so believable, and I can understand why Moody picked both him and Alice out to talk to; Frank showed incredible restraint, and Alice showed some steel and determination in attacking Rosier. It was great to see her in a completely different light in this part of the chapter. She always seems so nice and quiet but for her to become an Auror there clearly has to be a lot more to her character - I really enjoyed seeing that.

William and Olivia are so lovely! I think they make brilliant parents, and they clearly trust James and his friends more as they're getting older, trying to prepare them for the dangers they face without taking away their childhood completely. And now I don't want them to die either, but I know that they'll have to and it makes me so sad!

I loved the last line as well - I know that this chapter was quite dark and although Moody was reinforcing the danger they're in, the addition of the phrase 'Constant vigilance' made me smile.

I'm getting so invested in this story now and I feel like that isn't necessarily a good thing (because I know you're going to break my heart with your beautiful writing!) but I love it!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi again my lovely Sian!!!

You know, if we're being honest, I'll have to admit that I can never get sick of hearing you (or reading you, haha) say that you loved a chapter ♥ THANK YOU!

Focusing a bit on Lily and Petunia throughout the story was really important to me, because it's one of those parts of Lily that isn't looked into much. I don't think Petunia was bad/terrible or anything along those lines. I won't say everything, because there's still a big thing to learn about them and what finally made Petunia despise magic beyond anything, but I really think if Lily would have lived there could have been a chance for those two to make up. How Petunia treats Harry is never/will never be okay, and I think she partially does it out of anger for hi surviving while her sister didn't, and now she's stuck with the guilt of how she treated Lily. But I also just think, by then, she wasn't a very good person and had let the 'good' parts of her go untouched for too long.

Sorry, I'm not entirely sure where that ramble came from, haha!!!

YES! Petunia not being able to comprehend that Lily couldn't do magic outside of school was such a big thing to me, and i felt like it wasn't really to anyone else, so I'm SO happy you mentioned it!! That, Petunia's inability to realize the laws of magic, is going to come up again in a much more serious way and I'm so anxious to see what you think of that when it does!!!

I'm going to be honest here -- Amelia is one of those plot lines that I sort of just dropped. I wanted to do more with her, but it just never happened in this book. The Bones family will play more of a part in the next, though!

Moody was a lot of fun to write. I ended up feeling more comfortable with him than I thought I would. He sort of had the same feeling I get when I write Sirius, like i can say whatever I want through him and it would be totally acceptable, haha!


I'm so happy that this chapter did a good job of showing the start to Alice and Frank's futures. I knew starting off, if I wanted to include Alice and Frank, I had to have a believable way to get Moody interested in them early on because they are well known aurors by death. I'm so excited you thought the way it played out was believable!!

Yay! I'm really happy you like William and Olivia!! And don't worry, I'm hanging onto those two for as long as I possible can. JKR made it so they had to go before James and LIly (which is honestly a bit of a blessing -- no parent should outlive their child) but I can still keep them around as long as possible, mwahah.

I'm so excited that you're getting invested into this. That's such a huge deal to me, because I want to so much to tell a story the way it feels in my head. I still have a lot to learn about how to really get across what I want to a reader, but Before They Fall is the first time i've felt like maybe I *do* have the ability to create something that people care about, and yeah. You're just making me all feelsy and I can't say thank you enough for all the amazing reviews ♥

And if it helps, my heart will totally be breaking along with yours, haha!!

Thank you again!

♥ Jami


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Review #6, by BluebirdBrigade 

18th July 2013:
Two letters were shown in this chapter, both very different and very informative I think. I love the way you started the chapter with a memory - which sparks off Lily wanting to write a letter to her sister. I love how the sisters were so adorable but their differences were clearly shown. How do you come up with this stuff - these ideas were brilliant. The simple Petunia chucking snowballs at the neighbours cat while Lily told her not to and Petunia breaking her mug and getting upset when Lily couldn't fix it really established Petunia's character and will help us in the build up to when Petunia just decides that Lily is a complete waste of space. Lily is so sweet, I feel so bad for her having to through this and her sister doesn't even comfort her.

Oh my god, Alice almost made me cry. I expected the wand thing from Frank but not from Alice and I think that made it so eye-opening. Alice was so brave here, it really showed her Gryffindor side. Omg, MOODY! I'm so glad he made an appearance, and you know what - it kind of links in with Neville in his first class with Moody. Longbottoms always making a disruption in Moody's classes. Although the second Moody wasn't really Moody...I hope you ain't confused by what I'm saying.

I loved it once again, I really love the way you subtley build up the characters rather than in one big chunk. It's gorgeous writing, I don't know what to write as CC...I love it too much, it's too addicting, god. Just stop it. ;)

Author's Response: Hi Blue Bird Maz Brigade!

Oh my gosh. No one really picked up on the small things I was trying to show with Petunia in this. Like you said, her chucking snowballs at the neighbors cat and getting upset hen Lily couldn't fix it. I'm SO excited you did, and ugh how is one little Maz so huggable?! I just wanna squishy squish you!

Hahahahah i didn't even think about the tie in to the longbottom interrupting the Moody/not really Moody classes! Your brain is a fun place, missy!

I'm so excited you like my writing. That's what I'm constantly trying to improve on, so your compliments on it mean so much to me ♥


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Review #7, by WeasleyTwins 

16th July 2013:
I'm here as promised. I read it earlier, but got caught up in helping with the House Cup challenge concerning staffers. But anyway, I'm slowly catching up (only 27 chapters behind right?) -hides-

Okay, the memory/dream - it was excellent and didn't have too much description. When it comes to dreams, I really like it when authors use something really punchy that focuses on people and emotions. I also love that you used something from Christmas (I LOVE Christmas - my favorite time of the year). You also did well in keeping with the canon characterization of Petunia. She was very distasteful and rude when it came to Lily. I almost felt like there was something underhanded about her wanting to spend time with Lily - even though that wasn't your intention and it was supposed to be sappy and lovey-dovey, I just had this uneasy feeling about Petunia.

The camaraderie and friendship here is so strong, the strongest yet. Tragedy always has a way of bringing people together. It's bittersweet, but well executed. And Alastor - so perfect, Jami. From the little details with the artificial eye to his speech patterns, it's all impeccable. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! I hear that in my head and laugh - it made for the perfect ending to the chapter, I believe. It leaves readers with a sense of familiarity because we know that that is quintessential Mad-Eye. It also serves as a way to remind readers of the impending war and what the characters are going to really start facing as the story progresses.

I don't know if the idea of Death Eaters infiltrating the Ministry and particularly the Aurors is canon, but I LOVE it. Even though we know from DH that war sometimes stops even necessities like making a living, you give reason as to why James, Lily, Sirius, and all the others weren't Aurors (they weren't, were they?). Either way, I like it a lot. It gives you so many options for the future - you could go so many ways with that!

Nothing caught my eye in this chapter in terms of CC. As always, you are the best James/Lily author out there! ♥

Shelby

Author's Response: HI darling!!! Don't worry, the HC has kept us all a little crazy!

Writing the way Petunia and Lily's relationship changes, slowly but surely, is so much fun for me. I want to show that Petunia still is just a little girl, but the fact that she refuses to understand the laws of Lily's world shows how little she respects it.

I'm so excited that you liked Mad Eye! He was WAY too much fun to write and made me anxious for the next book to get to focus more on him!

Nope, DE infuriating isn't really canon, but I did get the idea from the HP series with how they didn't really know how to trust and it seemed like there was always a corrupt official somewhere! And no, you're totally right, they weren't Aurors :)! I'm so excited that you liked them deciding not to go into it because of that, and that this section gave you that sort of feeling of camaraderie! Your reviews always make me feel so light and fluffy! You know how highly I value your opinion, so it means a lot to me that you like how I write this bunch ♥

Thank you so much Shelby! You always make my day!


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Review #8, by Courtney Dark 

24th April 2013:
This was a great chapter - mainly because I absolutely love it every time you write a flashback into young Lily's life. I love seeing her relationship with Petunia develop. Though they are still reasonably friendly at this point in time in the flashback, you can definitely see that their relationship is heading downhill. And Lily's mother is so lovely! I love the bond between the little family.

Haha, Moody is the Auror teaching Sirius' lessons. Somehow, I hadn't been expecting that, but it definitely makes a lot of sense. Your characterization of him was brilliant and I especially liked how you ended with the line "constant vigilance" because that is just so Moody!

I like how this tension is slowly starting to build up between the different groups of the school, especially with the Slytherins. The fact that one of the Slytherin prefects didn't even turn up for the meeting was a nice touch and also the fact that Rosier spoke out of turn - and Moody's reaction was absolutely perfect!

I like that Frank seems to be getting a little more action, and that Alice showed her Gryffindor-ness when she got angry at Rosier. I am definitely beginning to see how those two will make great Aurors!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Lovely!!! You're my very favorite person ever right now.

I love writing those flashbacks. We'll start to see more and more of why tore those two apart, but writing them before that when they were just sisters was a lot of fun. I think Petunia never really got over the fact that she was so cruel to her sister and never had a chance to make up, then blamed magic for being the reason she was dead in the first place.

I couldn't let Moody go without making a few entrances in this! Haha! I think he'd be a very funny RL person to know. And very scary...

You are one of THE ONLY person who has commented on Abigail not showing up for the meeting! THANK YOU! I'm so happy somebody picked up on that!

Thank you so much for another amazing review ♥


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Review #9, by patronus_charm 

9th March 2013:
Hey Jami! I haven’t read this in ages, that’s the annoying thing about life, and graphics it takes me away from BTF!

Young Petunia is rather scary actually! It’s really cool that you can see the clear differences between them both already. It’s nice to Lily so sweet and innocent, whereas Petunia has this almost dark side to her, and the fact that she’s fine with throwing snow at a cat is just wrong! Then the thing with the cup, and you could tell how determined Petunia was to get Lily to do that! At least they made it up at the end, and that was rather adorable to see!

Haha I loved the prefect’s meeting, and with all the others there too! I think I was surprised as Lily to find them all there with her. I really liked how you put some backstory to the Bones’ as it made them more real, and the deaths just seemed so much more poignant, now you know the family dynamics, and what they were like.

Then James and Lily working together, and Frank standing up against the other prefects! I felt so proud for him, as you can see it took him a lot to do that, as dealing with their deaths mustn’t have been easy. It sort of reminded me of Neville, and the times when he stood up against people.

I didn’t expect the visitor to be Moody, but it was really cool that it was, as I’ve always had a soft spot for him. I thought his characterisation was excellent, and exactly how I imagined him to be! I think it was because of the way he talked to Rosier, as he seemed to be an intimidating person to me, so I would dread to think how scared he made him.

I really loved Lily in this chapter as well. I think it was the remark she made about the Prophet, as it showed how brave she was, and how she wasn’t afraid to voice her opinions, even if they were a little controversial. She’s just exactly how I imagined her to be, and she’s like Harry in so many respects, even if they always said he took after James.

Then Alice! Wah! She was wonderful too! I loved that line ‘Four people are dead, you coward,’ ( I had to cut the b word, as reviews are meant to be 12+!), I was just like girl power in my head! I felt so proud for her, and for all of them really, as they were just great.

The Potters! I want them as parents! I loved how you made Mr Potter the worrier, as it put a spin on things, as usually we see Mrs Potter as the neurotic one, always worrying over Sirius and James! I really loved the letter, as you could tell how much they loved their son, and Sirius.

This was another great chapter, and I’ll try to be back sooner than last time!

-Kiana:D

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! I may have been getting a tiny bit terrified that you didn't like the story anymore. YAY you still like it! ♥

You are one of the very few people to pick up on her throwing snow on the cat. It's such a small thing, but it does so much to show how she'll eventually become the woman she does. I'm so happy you noticed that.

I really thought a lot of Neville in Franks section as well. I think that he was much more forward than Neville and it was a lot easier for him, but it still feel like we see here Neville gets his ability to stand up to people when something isn't right. Ahh you're just spotting all these things! You're such a perceptive reader!

Hahaha The Potters would be so awesome to have as parents, wouldn't they? I feel like the fact that they are much older goes a long way into making them such awesome parents. They've seen a lot and been through more than most parents, and I bet that's gone a long way to making it so their able to really understand their child (children if we're counting Sirius)!

Alice is so cute, right?! I was so proud of her in this chapter ♥

Thank you so much for leaving another amazing review. I'm so happy that you're still enjoying this. I get scared about that stuff :P ♥


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Review #10, by ValWitch21 

7th February 2013:
In random order, my favourite pieces of this chapter.

Lily's thoughts -- you know about that, but I have to tell you every time, because each of her memory reminds me what an amazing author you are. Briscoe the likeable Slytherin -- not seen enough, but of course you thought of it. Marauder interaction that doesn't forget Peter.

Girl, your Peter. I find it really difficult to understand why he would have betrayed his friends given the way you portray him, but I suppose I'll find out with time!

I'm getting repetitive, but brilliant chapter again &hearts

Author's Response: Briscoe the likable Slytherin! I like him too :)

I'm so happy that you like my Peter. Giving him an honest part of this friendship was absolutely a big goal in this, and yes... you'll find out in time with what started the whole path of betrayal (tear).

I'm so happy you liked this chapter, and that you still enjoy Lily's memories. I need to get in a new one in one of the newer chapters, hmm..

thank you so much, m'dear!


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Review #11, by Athene Goodstrength 

6th February 2013:
This chapter made me so nostalgic! Somehow, the tone of it reminded me of being at Hogwarts with Harry. I think perhaps it was the group of friends trying to puzzle out what’s going on outside the school walls... And Alastor (not yet Mad-Eye!) Moody, too!

The Christmas dream/memory was so very beautiful. You managed to give it that dreamy quality, like I was watching it from the snow, rather than inside Lily’s head (which is where I spend most of my time in BTF). It’s such a poignant way to start the chapter, because it reminds us of course that Lily can sympathise with Amelia Bones all too well. The relationship between her and Petunia is beautifully played out here, and we can see that petunia’s envy and jealousy are causing her to push Lily away, trying to protect herself from losing her sister. I love that Petunia can’t get her head around the fact that Lily can’t do magic outside of school - it sets us up for her never correcting Vernon’s terror that Harry will do magic on them. Adrianna and Shane are such lovely parents. It’s wonderful that you give Lily that warm, spiritual moment to retreat to in her mind. Seeing Adrianna made me sad. So many mothers taken from their children too soon. I hate that Lily had to follow in her footsteps. I also thought, how messed up is Petunia that she tells Harry that the Potters died in a car crash, after that’s how her parents died? I guess it could be the first thing she thought of - but still. Messed up. (Do you see how your characters are becoming canon in my head?!)

I enjoyed the prefects meeting, it was cool to see James and Lily at work. Angry Frank was a sight to see. This bit was really impressive: “We don’t want to believe that it’s this close to us, I get it. But it is. And I hope to God that when Amelia comes back to school, you aren’t so damn insensitive as to ask her how she knows it was the Death Eaters that killed her parents in front of her.” ” Lily’s thoughts about the difference between ‘knowing’ and ‘seeing’ were really striking too. And then “wanting to end the meeting with something else besides murder.” ...God, these poor kids. It’s so awful. You’re SO GOOD!

I love that your Lily isn’t a saint. She’s a good person, who works hard and strives to be the best she can, but that doesn’t make her a Mary-Sue! Haha. She thinks that she’s probably a little bit selfish, and feels bad at James’s surprise at her offering to carry the bag, and it just makes her all the more endearing. Your description as Alice being like a butterfly is so lovely. She’s a gentle spirit, but as we see, there are things that do make her very, very angry.

I enjoyed Lily’s thoughts on the Lestranges. “ Lily had shuddered at the idea of husband and wife each being as soulless as the other” - sure makes you glad they didn’t have children!

Sirius’s excitement about Moody’s presence is so endearing. He’s just a boy! An ambitious young man with heroes he looks up to.

And what a hero! Moody is great! You’ve done such an excellent job of making him feel just like the Moody we know. This is probably part of the reason why I felt so nostalgic reading this chapter. Lily’s first encounter with his odd appearance and blunt speech remind me of how Harry and Ron were oddly fascinated by him, too (which reminds me of James and Sirius... oh suddenly too many feels.)

I tried to pick my favourite Moody line, but they’re all so perfectly him. Why did I not know that you, my dearest darlingest Jami, are so good at writing Alastor Moody?! You’re having so much fun with showing us things we just accept as The Way They Are in the books, before they were that way. I'm not making sense... Say, the Patronus-talking magic. That. And here, Mad-Eye’s eye. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH! Okay, so the line about him not being used to the eye yet may be one of my favourites. I also love how he seems able to see straight through (figuratively, not literally, for once!) the Death Eaters and Voldemort. He can see just how awful Voldemort is, and how little he truly cares for his pandering followers. He also seems to ‘see’, very quickly, some sort of potential in Alice and Frank. Maybe he recognises something of a kindred spirit in them? We know he respected the Longbottoms greatly.

The Potters (senior) are such loving, cool parents. I love the way you’ve written William - I really love him! He reminds me a little bit of my dad... A gentle man (at home - who, at work, probably kicks butt). And I love the advice he gives about Sirius becoming an Auror (he really does see him as a son, doesn’t he?). He kind of reminds me of Arthur Weasley, the way he’s willing to tell James stuff that may be too ‘grown up’ for him, but he knows it’s important and may just keep him safer.

A lot of dark, scary stuff is happening, but the final line of this chapter gave me such a pang of nostalgia and made me laugh out loud. Little stroke of genius, there, Miss JC.

Sigh. I love this story.

Author's Response: Anddd take TWO!

I am going to make sure that by the end of this, you have no idea what is actual Marauders canon and what is all head canon. Mwahahaa.

Hehe I had fun with Moody. I usually feel shaky about writing anyone that isn't one of my main 8. (Eight, really?! LilyJamesSiriusRemusPeterBelleAliceFrank. Yep, it's eight. They need to tone their group down. Way too many of them). ANYWAY. Anyone who isn't my main 8 I get nervous about. But Moody was one of the few that felt very good. He's such a passionate character. And he sees a kind of self control in Frank when Frank DOESN'T curse Rosier. Then he sees steel inside Alice when she does. Very skillfully, I may add. We all know Sirius doesn't have the control he'd need to work as an Auror when the office is being infiltrated. It would have been like Harry trying to work at the Ministry when they were all eating out of Lucius's pockets. But they still need Aurors... ones that can act like they're going along with it all, but who aren't. I'm not making sense anymore, am I? Okay... I'm going to move on now, haha.

That's exactly why I thought of them dying in the car crash. (A car crash! Kill Lily and James Potter! Oh god. I'm going to cry.) Because Petunia had already deluded herself into thinking the world was against her, so why not pretend like every ounce of blood she had was destroyed with that wreck? I really think these two would have made up if Lily wouldn't have died. They would have worked through their stuff. Petunia will Never, never forgive the fact that Magic killed her sister. She can't stand feeling guilty about how everything was left, so she casts her blame on the thing that's constantly around to remind her of the guilt she's trying to bury. Little innocent baby Harry. You know, maybe Petunia and Snape should get together.

I am keeping William and Olivia for as long as possible. Stupid JKR, taking them too. (forgive me JKR. FORGIVE ME).

I don't even know how to tell you how much I love you and your amazing reviews. But really, I do. Times a million. I was heading back from an at home eval when I realized I had all had all these new reviews and I saw 'ATHENE GOODSTRENGTH' and I pulled over in a gas station to read them. hahaha. Ohhh I love you ♥


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Review #12, by Roots in Water 

17th January 2013:
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Wow- it's been a little while since I read chapter 9... Where did 2012 go?

Anyway, I think that you did a lovely job once again! To jump straight into your questions, I think that you did a great job with your description of the prefect's meeting. The reactions of the Prefects worked wonderfully with their age and their exposure to the war; this was, after all, their first taste of danger that was close at hand. Frank's reaction about the doubts was perfectly reasonable as well- I doubt that I could be any calmer when faced with questioning about the truth of such a horrible experience. I also liked how you arranged for the Prefects to wander the halls in case anyone needed to talk or ask questions.

I do have a question for myself: in this chapter you mentioned that James and Lily represented Gryffindor- what does that mean for Remus? Are there no Gryffindor prefects? Or did I just misread/misinterpret that section?

I really enjoyed Lily's dream. It was fascinating to see little hints of the way Petunia would treat her nephew in the future- if it was in her to hurt a kitty when she was that old, it's not too big of a stretch for her to neglect her sister's child because he was "not normal". It was also interesting to see that she didn't completely hate magic at that point in time, though that could only have been because she needed it to fix something.

One of the things I liked best about that section was how it didn't portray the Evans' family as completely perfect. There were fights, but they are happy as a whole and that's what matters.

As well, I think that you did a fantastic job of transitioning slowly into a more serious tone. This chapter did a good job of expanding on the meaning/consequences of the attack revealed in the last chapter, trying to impress upon the students just how dangerous and difficult this time period will be.

Moody is tricky character to write, isn't he? I think that you did a good job with his portrayal- he certainly had his authoritative manner. However, as great as your portrayal already is, I do have a few suggestions. :) First of all, (though this could be a creation of my own mind), I've pictured him speaking in a gruffer, more threatening and informal manner. Though I loved the "insults" and tough tone you've already used here, I would love to see more of it sprinkled throughout his speech. As well, I would love to see more physical description as he speaks- he has such a large physical presence that I find that it's one of the most fun parts to write when I write him. As he speaks, how does he look at the class? Does he glare? Does he slam his hand on the desk for emphasis? Does he stride about the classroom, getting into people's faces? Does he watch the interaction between Alice and Rosier with a smile?

All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and I think that you did a fantastic job of moving the plot along. I'm really interested to see the changes in the characters after this meeting with Moody- I have a feeling it will leave a strong impression on them. Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hi darling!! I'm so happy to see you back here! Not like I gave you much of a choice to do anything else.. mwhaha. Dan and I were joking about how terrible we are, snapping up your slots the second your queue is cleared.

I'm so happy that the Prefects meeting felt realistic to you. So, I decided that Head Boy and Girl would bascially replace the 7th year prefects for their House. So if Lily was a Ravenclaw, there wouldn't be a girl Prefect for the 7th year Ravenclaw. I felt kind of bad for booting Remus out, but I imagine that he understood that Dumbledore needed to get James to grow up a bit, and giving him more responsibility was the way to do that.

I'm so happy you picked up on those hints of Petunia's future cruelty!! It's just something small right now, but like you said, an indicator of what she can become.

The Evans family memories are so much fun to write. And that's exactly what I want to show, that they were happy as a whole. I don't like when it's made to seem that they were completely negligent of Petunia, just because it doesn't make sense. If they're going to support their daughter who found out she was a witch, why wouldn't they be good enough parents to love their other daughter as well? I definitely think it was Petunia's own thoughts that made her feel like she was the least loved, and she just doesn't let herself understand anything she doesn't agree with.

I was afraid of going overboard with gruffness, so I'm happy to hear (or read, I suppose) that he could use a bit more. I'll definitely go back through this section and see what else I can add in to bring his presence out more without overdoing him.. thank you! ♥

Your comments are always helpful! Thank you again so much for being such an awesome review ♥ You have no idea how excited i was to see your slots open back up, haha!


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Review #13, by Pixileanin 

14th January 2013:
That scene with Petunia really explains a lot about her character. No one should WANT to hurt the poor kitty. That Petunia was willing to do so shows that she is also the type of person to lash out at people when the situation arises. I feel sorry for Lily, having to deal with such a sister. The fact that Petunia doesn't think things through the way she should probably makes Lily excuse her behavior more than she ought to. And also, that Lily was more concerned about cheering up her sister shows a lot about Lily as well. She truly has a kind heart.

I'd love to hear all those secrets those students had to give away to pass through the door. All those red faces at the meeting sure must have been amusing. But then the meeting turned pretty dark, especially with Frank there to give an eyewitness account.

I really like your descriptions of how Lily sees the relationships around her. This being a story about Lily/James and the things they deal with in their seventh year, it's nice to see Lily's progression in her mind about how her friends get along with each other. I think it's a sweet way to tell the story without a lot of undue angst or drama. Thank you for being gentle with them.

James' parents are both fearsome and incredibly optimistic at the same time. How do they do that? I want to know. I suppose it's because they are older and have more patience than any of us can fathom. Oldness does that to a person, I'm told. ;)

Another lovely chapter, with things boiling in the background.

Author's Response: Ahh you are the first person to comment on the Kitty! THANK YOU. She's throwing a snowball at a small little animal to lash out, then uses the excuse that it didn't belong in their yard. Sure, she's not hanging it by it's tail or anything.. but it's still mean. And it's just a small look into how easy it is for her to forget what she knows is right and wrong, or ignore it. Why she'll eventually be okay with emotionally and verbally abusing an orphan for 11 years. Seriously, I could hug you for noticing the bit about the kitty, haha.

I'm so happy you like that it focuses on a kind of a different level than normal teenage drama. Not that I don't think there's plenty of drama going around the school, I just don't think the group would pay much attention to it with things going the way they are.

That's exactly what I keep in mind when writing Olivia and William... that they're near 80. They've witnessed too much to believe the world is full of butterflies, but they've also been given so much, they both stayed alive during their auror days then had the son they thoughts they were much too old to conceive... so they kind of have this underlying sense of peace. Hmm none of that makes sense does it? I could just hug those two sometimes. haha

Have I told you lately that your reviews are amazing? ♥


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Review #14, by Arithmancy_Wiz 

9th January 2013:
See, I told you I wouldn't take so long this time to post another review. Nine days into the New Year and I've managed to keep my resolution! Of course, this review might be a bit shorter since you didn't have that many AoCs to cover, but I'm sure I'll still manage to push the maximum word count somehow.

Jumping right in, I really enjoyed this Lily/Petunia flashback for a number of reasons. First, I thought it worked very well with the flow of the chapter. I think having it at the start makes a huge difference, or at least at the start of a new scene. But even more than that, you made it lead seamlessly into the next section of the chapter. The content itself was also very poignant. Petunia begging Lily to fix the cup was such a realistic and telling moment between the sisters. I can't help but wonder how it might have changed their relationship if Lily HAD fixed the mug. Would it have altered or softened Petunia's view on magic at all? Maybe, maybe not, but it's fun to ponder because this fits so well into canon.

You asked about the prefect meeting, and I enjoyed that part as well. I liked the way it harkened back to that first Dumbledore's Army meeting in OotP, with Lily sort of playing the role Hermione did, and James filling the role of Harry. I particularly liked:

-- She waited a moment for the importance of that to sink in, the same way that Dumbledore had the previous evening.

I don't know why, maybe because it reminded me that they are still young, taking their cues from the adults in their life that they trust. That might be reading into it a bit much, but it stood out to me nonetheless.

You mentioned the details, and I did notice a few great little tidbits throughout the chapter. I liked the bit about Lily's friends handing her food as she entered the common room. And I really loved the line later on:

--Alice was as patient as a butterfly circling a fragile flower, waiting to land until just the right second.

The only CC I might offer in terms of the descriptions/details are to not worry so much about where everyone is positioned in the space of a room. Most of the time, I don't think it matters to the content of the scene, with the exception of when you noted that Sirius sat beside Belle in the classroom, instead of next to James. That does say something, perhaps that Sirius and Belle are growing closer, or that Sirius is miffed with James about the Auror comment. There was, however, a lot of mentions in the prefect meeting and the classroom as to where everyone was in the space, which you probably didn't need.

Oh, Moody. I really do love this character. He's fantastic and way underrepresented in fanfiction. You, my dear, captured him perfectly. I mean really. You got him to a T. I love how inappropriate he was, so unable to gauge what is proper to say in front of a bunch of teenagers, in a classroom no less. The comment about the dad using his left hand to do, well, that which I cannot repeat here, was absolutely brilliant. And then to also be so blunt and dark with lines like:

-- You remember those faces. With things going the way they're going, some of them will be the ones that are trying to kill you, and some will be a headstone in the graveyard.

You really did get everything right with him, even down to his total oblivion to the fact that it might be gross and unsettling for others to watch a man stick an eyeball back into his face. The only "negative" thing I could say (and this is technical, not a comment on how you wrote the character) is that the formatting of his speech was pretty broken up. I'd consider grouping his dialogue together a bit more, not starting a new paragraph so often, even if you do inject a small bit of action or narrative description in there.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Rosier. Another great way to ratchet up the intensity, reminding all of them that it isn't just about the Death Eaters "out there," but about their classmates too -- people they have known for going on seven years. And yet, you kept it in proportion. He was terrible and nasty, but also in a way you might expect from a teenager. Overall, I really liked his presence in this chapter.

Well, I think that's all I've got on this one. Another great chapter. I shall be back for number eleven quite soon, I expect!

Author's Response: Ohhh you're new years resolution revolves around reviewing? I have to admit... I'm not unhappy about this in the slightest ;)

I'm so happy that the dream felt smoothly transitioned in/out in this. That's exactly what I want to do... is get people kind of seeing there absolutely could have been a different side of Petunia. I think her and Lily always thought they'd reunite, then Lily and James died and Harry lived and Petunia blamed the infant for it ;(. Not that I'm making excuses for her, but at one point I do think there was something good there.

I always wonder if I pay too much attention to 'placing' people. Thank you for pointing that out ♥

I was so afraid to write Moody. He's seems so intimidating, then when I started writing it he sort of found his own voice. And honestly, I know I'm always supposed to say that my characters just make themselves and blah blah, but really... I still struggle with even Lily and James's voices quite often. I worry when they seem to similar, I worry about how they react to things, they really don't come all that easy. So Moody was an incredibly rare treat to sort of step in there and write himself :P.

I just went back and read through to see exactly what you were talking about with the break up of the dialogue and oh God, I wanted to cringe. I'll work on editing that as soon as possible, thank you ♥

Thank again for another amazing and helpful review. For the most part these later chapters have more 'just because' reviews and less and less requested ones, which I'm not complaining about, but it's so nice to have someone who isn't afraid to CC reading these newer ones.

Okay, I'm rambly. Only because I can't hug you. If I could just squeeze you and tell you how much I appreciate these, I wouldn't ramble so much ;)



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Review #15, by Remus 

28th December 2012:
So just before the forums went down you were apologizing for not answering reviews. SO! As a 'horrible' punishment, now you have to answer TWO of my reviews. Mwahahaha! XD I'm evil!

This is different to the other Lily--and--Petunia moments that I've read in other fics. I absolutely love how they still get along. It seems that Petunia sort of made peace with the fact that she can't do magic and her sister can. At least...for now. I'm waiting for everything to come crashing down and burning.

And it happened.

Over a mug! Ugh, Petunia can be such a pain sometimes! I think it would've been better if Lily had just said that she didn't know the spell...Maybe Petunia would've just moved on. But no she had to make a scene. However, I'm glad that she apologized to Lily in the end. I'm curious, though, what happened between the two sisters to make Petunia hate Lily because your Petunia, here, feels like she finally accepted Lily for what she was.

I absolutely love the Christmas feel to it, specially towards the end of the dream.

Just so you know you're upsetting me. I mean...Belle and Sirius are just perfect for each other. But he's going to be throw in Azkaban soon...so he's never going to have the happy ending he deserves. Ugh. Maybe you should make this an AU where they all survived. Except for Peter. Peter can die. XD

I have to say...I don't know why exactly but it felt, to me, a bit odd that the Slytherin prefect called Lily by her first. I know that not all Slytherins are bad but it still struck me as weird. Just a thought, though, nothing big.

The line "If even Remus was feeling confrontational" made me giggle. It makes me wonder if its the werewolf making him feel that way.

Say what! Moody is the person Sirius has been seeing?! XD I was not expecting this...had you already mentioned it? If so, I totally forgot about it but nonetheless...I love the small surprise. Your Moody was fantastic, though! He felt true to the book with his attitude, the way he spoke to Rosier...even McGonagall's reaction to his statement about Rosier's dad.

I really like how you're bringing the conflict to Hogwarts. It felt like up until the attack, those that supported Voldemort felt, to me, to keep their hatred towards muggles to themselves. And then the attack happened and I think that marked the moment everything changed in Hogwarts; Rosier is a prime example of that.

And Alice!! Yay! I thought it had been Frank but yay Alice for cursing Rosier!

Oh and by the way! Since I can't PM you and you have Mr. Potter here in a letter...did you know that the rumored names for James's parents are Charlus Potter and Dorea Black? If its true, it would make James and Sirius first cousins once removed. I thought that was a fun bit of information that I wish I had known when I was writing HPo4!

This was a fantastic chapter! :D

I hope I get a bit more time after the new year to go ahead and read the following chapter...I'm slowly catching up!

Until next time, Jami!! :D

Oh and if I don't have a chance to talk to you before hand...A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!! :D

--Rosie

Author's Response: This review put me in the best mood every so I really had to respond to it immediately :P

Before I forget -- Yes, I have heard the idea about James and Sirius having that distant relation, but I did end up deciding not to act on it. Mainly because I think the Potter on the tree would have been burnt away, and it hurt my heart thinking that Sirius knew he was *distantly* related to Harry and didn't tell him to kind of give him the sense of having *real* family.

I am so happy you like Moody! I actually really liked him too, which is rare with me because I'm definitely my own worst critic. And no, I hadn't mentioned before that it was him giving Sirius the lessons ;). Mwaahha. Sneaky me. My head canon has him close with the Potters. You'll find all this out later, but basically Olivia and William do help the Order in ways that they can, but because of their terrible health and their need to protect James they aren't actual members. They of course won't ever tell James not to join the Order, but they will keep him safe for as long as they can, and they think becoming part of it is as good as recruiting them himself. So yeah.. random head canon note there. Hahahhaa.

That's a good point about the Slytherin prefect.. it would feel more natural to change it to Evans probably.. thank you m'dear!

Ahh the next (but not final) Lily Petunia altercation is in the current chapter I'm writing. I fully believe these two would have mended fences if Lily would have survived ;(. Then Petunia felt so terrible, she just buried that all inside and blamed Harry for getting the sister she exiled killed. Poor sisters :(. Petunia was so terrible in the books, but I have to hope that she wasn't always that way. You know?

Anyway, I know this response was an entire ramble, but thank you so much for the review ♥. I'm visiting family in Idaho, and trying to do everything with my family and my fiances all at one and my mom just had surgery and ugh. It's been a crazy week so this review was just what I needed ♥


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Review #16, by LovlyRita 

11th December 2012:
It's 2:08 in the morning and I am wide awake, for reasons that I am not entirely sure of. So I have decided to come and read and review this chapter instead of sleep. yay

Ok, I read all the way through this time and some things stuck out to me. First of all, did I pick up on that whole invincibility thing last chapter or what?! It seems to be the theme of this chapter, the way that things are becoming real to the student and they are having to learn and deal with it. Beautifully done.

Oh! Before I forget, I love your chapter image! I have loved them in previous chapters but I always forget to comment on them so I will say now that this one really caught my eye! And I love that you chose Moody on there!

Today I read one of the most well written mad eye moodys that I have ever. ever. EVER. seen on the archive. I could hear everything he said in his growl, and the things he said were just so...in character! This is a tough one to get right and you absolutely nailed it. I loved the bit about the lost fingers, it was just brilliant.

Poor Frank, jumping quickly to hex Rosier or worse. Those nasty death eaters. But I was totally rooting for Alice when she blew him up a la Aunt Marge! so classic! Poor McGonagall too, because she's trying to uphold her honor as a teacher but even she must see that Rosier is a big non 12+ word. That being said I was glad to see in the beginning section with the prefect meeting, that the Slytherin prefects seemed to be normal human beings. Not all Slytherins are bad, darn it!

OMG I almost forgot the beginning, how sweet it was! The thing is, I can kind of see Petunia's side with some of this. It would be difficult to have a sister who you love dearly go off to some weird boarding school. And especially since she can use her magic there but not at home, I really can see how Petunia would be confused and hurt that she wouldn't do that for her, even though she knows she can't. It's such a sad story but I also love how Petunia was apologizing for her meanness. I think that is the other tragic piece of Lily's life, her relationship with Petunia.

Ok finally, James' letter. Methinks this is the start of the Order of the Phoenix, yes?! Exciting stuff here. I also adore James' dad's letter, because it is so so so real. It sounds like a real father, writing to his son, with real father problems (such as the cigar).

I cannot possibly tell you how much I love this story. It is so plausible, so canon, and so very real! That's my favorite part, that these characters see like real people on the page, your own best friend or grandpa. Simply put, it is just amazing! I cannot wait to continue this journey onto the next chapter.

Phenomenal job.

Ashley

Author's Response: I'm finally catching up on responses!

Well, I don't want to encourage you staying up until two in the morning, BUT I'm happy you did AND reviewed the story, mwahaha.

Aren't the chapter images awesome?? Pheonixn has made all but one, and she always does such an awesome job. I'm spoiled!

I'm so happy you liked Moody! He was one of the most difficult characters so far, but once I got into the groove of it I had so much fun. And yeah, I really wanted to take the 'r' out of that certain word about how he likes using his left hand, because it sounded cruder without the r, but my British friend advised me against it :P

Funny fact about me trying to make sure I remember to keep some Slytherins nice.. next to my notes I have all the prefects, and next to Briscoe the Slytherin one, I have written (7th year, Slytherin, nice snakey). Hehe. Just thought you'd enjoy that ;)

I will tell you now that Olivia and William are not official members of the Order. They believe in the cause, of course, and they help out a lot. But more as personal favorites to Dumbledore than anything. We know they died of old age, so at this point William is 90 and Olivia is 87. Except in my head they look like fifty year olds. And since they're wizards it flies, right? Anyway, they never accepted the invitation to be members because they just felt too old and wanted to keep James away from as much as they could. But they still believe in it enough and help enough that they wouldn't exactly tell James not to join. If they told James about it at all... which as of now no one in the group knows the name for 'Dumbledore's group' and I'm totally blabbering on. Hmmm. I'll stop now :P

I LOVE YOU AND YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS. The characters being real means so much to me, you have no idea ♥


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Review #17, by EverDiggory 

29th November 2012:
Jami, darling! I love you and this wonderful story! Don't think for a moment I don't enjoy giving you feedback!

You honestly make me feel bad for Petunia. I rarely ever, ever feel anything for her other than anger but you really hit it to a different base this time.

This prefect meeting was very tense to me. I was just waiting for someone to snap--I don't know if I mean snap as in brake down or confess to being related to one of the two identified Death Eaters, but I was waiting for it!

I really enjoyed Mad Eye! You characterterized him well while being subtle about it. I definitely would say thats one of the best ways to do it:)

Imagery... It wasn't disappointing, but I wasn't as thrilled as I have been in previous chapters. You let up only a little, but it makes a difference. If I were you, I'd make a point to describe the atmosphere, as well as the expressions around the room during the prefect meeting! I think that would get you back up to perfection!

I do hope you realize that I've seen absolute perfection from you. So, in turn I expect nothing less from you. Ever. So, to be fair this would easily be a 10/10 for others but its a 9.5/10 for you because I expect you to exceed expectations! Don't get me wrong, this was absolutely excellent! But I expect waaay too much fro m you, but that, my darling, is a monster of your own making!

Wonderful job, as always!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Ever!!!

I wrote a VERY long response to his, then made that fake heart symbol and yeah. Here we are again, haha.

I've been trying a few new things with detail, so I'm happy to see that it isn't quite there yet. I want to describe things that pertain exactly to the situation person, instead of just for the sake of describing, and it's turning out to be a challenge to get it just where it needs to be. But! I will get there!

I'm so happy you liked Mad Eye! He's been really fun to write so far!

Okay, I DO think I got the next chapter back up in terms of description, so I'm excited to see what you think about that ♥

Thank you so much for your always amazing reviews, m'dear ♥


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Review #18, by MissMdsty 

12th November 2012:
Alastor Moody (as written by you) is simply amazing! He was so in character that in my head I was reading with his voice. It seems appropriate that Dumbledore would've wanted him to speak to the students and of course he couldn't help himself when faced with the Death Eaters' children.

My favorite line was:
You remember those faces. With things going the way they’re going, some of them will be the ones that are trying to kill you, and some will be a headstone in the graveyard.”

That just gave me goosebumps, it's so fitting of how this whole situation is going to turn up.

I liked the memory of Lily's Christmas with her parents a lot. It was so sweet and just captured that age of innocence beautifully. Also, it just dawned on me while reading this, that if Petunia were magical, she'd be a Slytherin. Think about it. she's ambitious and selfish and has a desire to correct things which in her opinion are abnormal.

Author's Response: Ahh I'm so happy you liked Moody! So far he's been one of my favorites to write! He kind of just worked his way right into my head without too much trouble.

I absolutely agree about Petunia's house. So maybe if she had been a witch, these two would end up distant regardless...


Your reviews have absolutely made my week, by the way!


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Review #19, by shadowycorner 

3rd November 2012:
Moody.was.amazing. And Alice, she made me like her even more now. I see so much Neville in her. Always quiet, reserved, a little frightened at times, but when it's time to step up, and when everyone least espects it, she does. It's wonderful. And once again, Moody was spot-on. Your characterizations are flawless. Constant vigilance all the way!

Lily's Christmas memory was wonderful. You captured the atmosphere so well. And aw Petunia, she was still nice at that time. Now I really want Christmas to come. No wonder Lily is so devastated. It was apparent what a wonderful family they were back then. Speaking of family, the letter James got from his dad...gorgeous. I want a dad like that. it was so full of unconditional love and so Potterish! The genes Harry inherited are very visible - no use hiding and shielding things away from others, but facing them!

You really, really know what you're doing with this story. It's like reading a real novel from the Marauder era. I'll be looking forward to your next update. If you ever need any help, or to talk, I'd be thrilled to help. I need more of this story! :D

Liz

Author's Response: Moody was SO much fun!!! At first I was terrified, then I fell in love with writing him. I'm so happy he seemed in character to you, because it's always a struggle to work with these ones that we don't know a *tun* about. Or Dumbledore. Because Dumbledore's just hard no matter what, haha.

Ahhh Liz your compliments are so amazing. It means so much to get a non requested review. Just reading the opinions of someone whose reading the story just because.it makes my entire day ♥ more like week.

thank you so much for stopping by ♥


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Review #20, by academica 

18th October 2012:
Hey Jami! Here with another requested review, and finally caught up (though not for long, I suspect)!

I really like Lily's dream. It's so sad to see Petunia turn on her at the drop of a hat, but when they actually get along as sisters, it's downright heartwarming. I love the little scene with them and their mother, too--so sad to think that she's dead! I definitely felt the holiday spirit reading it, and I thought including the prayer was a nice touch. You also revealed a lot of Lily's characterization in subtle ways; she's concerned with the rules, but she's also morally just, as seen with the cat. And I liked the transition--a dream tinged with such strong emotions would probably end suddenly.

I can see why the Prefect meeting scene might have been tough. I like how you described Lily's slight hesitation about letting the non-Prefects stay, and I think you might have added a little more from the other Houses' Prefects--wouldn't you expect at least one of them to object to the breach of privacy? This could be my own bias, but I would have liked to see a little more of a reaction specifically from the Slytherin Prefect, too. Even now, there must have been at least some commotion within the House about Voldemort. Otherwise, I think that scene was done nicely, especially with Frank's bleak recollection.

I love your Moody! I think you've got him down to a T, and his section provided some much needed humor, as dark as it is. I liked his comment about looking around and wondering who will become who, because that seems so very in character. I'm guessing he saw the fight in Alice and Frank and tried to recruit them to become Aurors, in which case I can understand Alice's excitement. I can also understand James's hesitation. I like how you made him a little reticent about joining the Aurors, whereas Sirius is all for it--again, both of those reactions seem totally in character. You really seem to know your Marauders! :) I bet that Lily will be a big part of helping James resolve that feeling.

Oh, and descriptions! I think you did fine. I didn't notice anything that felt too heavy or out of place. It all seemed to accent the plot nicely as I read.

Excellent work, as always! Hope this is helpful! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi darling!! First of all, congratulations on most romantic for Diamonds into Coal!! I was so exited when I saw that on TGS ♥

Now, to the response. I am so happy you liked the dream. Giving Lily and Petunia these 'sisterly' moments is getting a bit more sad for me because it gets us closer to the disintegration of their relationship. I really wanted to drop hints about both girls in this. Lily caring about the cat, and Petunia not being bothered by the fact that throwing a snowball at it could scare it, because the cat isn't *supposed* to be in their yard anyway. So she's starting to show a bit of her more cold side when it comes to things that shouldn't be doing something certain, like a baby nephew that shouldn't have magic ;).

Honestly I can't even believe that I didn't add one person protesting to the additions to their meeting. Haha. Now that I read back through it, I'm going -- 'really, none of you care that there are are six other people in the meeting that don't belong?' haha I'll absolutely edit that, and of course credit you for the help ♥

I am so happy Moody felt right! His character was kind of intimidating for me, but after I was in the middle of it, it did become pretty fun. Mainly because I feel like he can say anything, or everything that others are thinking but won't say. The Order is all pretty prominent in the next chapter, so I'm super nervous about that.

Thank you so much for this review. I'll work on editing that prefect scene today, and hugs again for your Golden Snitch awards!!! ♥


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Review #21, by (; 

15th October 2012:
Amazing please keep writing

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked it! Thank you so much for the review ♥

Jami


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Review #22, by manno_malfoy 

12th October 2012:
I demand to know what Alice and Frank have been told! But I don't think Chapter 11 will be up by the time I finish writing this review, now will it?

YAY! A flashback! It certainly has been a while since we've scene one of those from Lily! And this was such a nice scene to go back to! I think it makes me understand Petunia a little more. Back then, they were still 'naive' little kids and all she really wanted was to be friends with her sister. Yet, through Petunia's eyes, Lily saw that Petunia getting in trouble for the mug -or her loss of it- was an easier way to go than get herself in trouble for using magic. Also, why would Petunia like something that she got absolutely no benefit out of? Had only Lily lived a little longer past 7th year and remained on good terms with Petunia, all the mugs in the world could've been Reparo'd. The thing is, the scene was so sweet and the way you've portrayed their relationship made me think 'just gather the pieces in a box until Lily is seventeen or just let her take it with her to Hogwarts and fix it there'. It's just sad to realise that such a wonderful friendship gets ruined by multiple small events like these.

Now, even though this chapter is certainly less action-packed than previous ones, it works perfectly for setting the scene and making the war feel real! You can actually see the students being scared and measures being taken, and, most importantly, denial! I love how you focused on this particular point; because if you don't believe in it, it doesn't exist. Until you're at wand point anyway...

I think the Prefects meeting was particularly interesting because it allowed us to see how each person is reacting differently to what's happened. There's Frank who's fueled by anger because of the horrors he must have witnessed the previous night, Lily who isn't quite scared -still thoughtfully compassionate and level-headed- is willing to tweak the way she speaks of matters so everyone can get along and stay on task -ever the diplomat- and there are those who don't even want to believe that anything's out there but are responsible enough to fulfill their duties anyway.

AND Moody! Even though he scares me most of the time, I was almost applauding him throughout the chapter! The way he just humiliated Rosier into silence and made it seem effortless! GO MOODY! He's just so easy to rile up and I absolutely loved how McGonagall was trying to keep him in line! It reminded me of her reprimanding James in the previous chapter! So you're doing a great job keeping her characterisation consistent!

Oooh! I almost forgot! I absolutely loved how you described Moody through Lily's eyes.
"A man, or what was probably a man..."
I laughed at that and thought it was quite vivid!

Now, to the star of the chapter, Alice! I wanted to go hug her and tell her she's a hero! So far, she has been characterised as the kind of person who promotes goodwill and she's the sweet optimist. And all it took was this little push!

I actually really love the way you've characterised Alice and Frank, not only because they're perfect for each other but because they do seem like the kind of people Bellatrix wouldn't just kill but rather play around with beforehand. They're both persistent and they're both emotional but each of them expresses that differently. And so is Bellatrix, except that her emotions kind of turn into blind devotion to Voldemort and purebred insanity.

-refreshes story page- There isn't a chapter 11... :( The downside of no longer being behind. But I really, really enjoyed this chapter and I want to know about what happened between Alice and Frank and Moody, so she better be telling her friends.

Good luck with Chapter 11 and congratulations on reaching the 10-chapter milestone!

-Manno

Author's Response: I've been staring at this absolutely unsure how to reply. HOW do I reply to such amazingness? You are so awesome.

Okay, how about I try and start at the beginning?

You will know what Alice and Frank have been told VERY soon, pinky promise ;).

I know what you mean about Lily and Petunia :( There will of course be a 'bigger' thing that finally does it, but right now we are starting to see a bit of Petunia's refusal to understand Lily's world. It doesn't make sense that Lily couldn't fix the mug. She has magic. Who cares if she breaks the rules? No one is really going to do anything about it, because to Petunia Lily's world is still not 'normal' and normal things, like getting punished for breaking a rule, just don't apply. And it might have been just as much Lily's fault too for not forcing he sister to let her explain more, to just understand. I really believe they were this close once though, and it's so sad that they couldn't mend things before it was too late :(.

I was really worried about the Prefects meeting! So I'm extra happy that you thought it showed the different feelings on the new dangers of the war, and I have to tell you. Lily will lose her level headedness for just a moment in the next chapter :(.

I am falling more and more in love with Moody! He's that character who can just do *anything*! We'll get more of him in this book, but not near as much as we'll see in book two.

Hahahaha your comment about chapter 11 made me giggle. How perfect would that have been though?? If it got validated the moment you refreshed! It would have made my life.

I am so happy you're still enjoying this ♥ your reviews turn me into squeel mush. You have no idea *hug*


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Review #23, by presi 

11th October 2012:
Loved the Christmas memory! It really makes you wonder what happened. As well let her send the letter. I think it shows that Lilly still wants to have a relationship with her sister. Mad eye was great! I like u don't feel like he would have changed much trough out time, so the one Harry met would have been the same his parents knew as well. Can't wait for the next chapter!!!


MEL

Author's Response: I am so happy you liked the memory! I had a lot of fun writing it. And Mad Eye! He's such an awesome character! And I completely agree that he's kind of an ageless one.

Thank you so much for your awesome review. They make my day!


Jami


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Review #24, by caoty 

10th October 2012:
Hello, you're going to have to put up with me again for the duration of this review.

I really like your characterisation of Petunia. You've given her the flaws we see in canon, but you've also humanised her, which many people forget to do. And as someone who is not too far from fourteen zirself, I can definitely confirm that she sounds like a fourteen-year-old.

The dream in general is lovely and heartbreaking. That said, since I assume you're going for realism, I'm kind of concerned about the lack of surrealism in the dream. It's basically like her mind plays films when she's asleep. I don't know if that's just me, though, and it's not exactly ruining the chapter for me, so ignore this paragraph if you want.

Also, this phrase:
>her entire face covered in salty water
I initially imagined that someone had upended a bucket of seawater on her head, which sort of breaks the mood a bit. :P

I love the way you've handled the prefect's meeting. It was unbelievably gorgeous, with the philosophical descriptions and the totally natural reactions. You've absolutely nailed it. Well done.

It's interesting to see that you've decided that Mad-Eye has his scars and missing nose pieces before the First War; I'd always assumed that a lot of them turned up then. That's not relevant to the review at all, btw, I just decided to share that with you.

And James' parents. You've just reminded me that you're gonna have to kill them off. D: Bloody hell, Jami. (I can't wait to see how you do it!)

Author's Response: Put up with you?? You know how much I love these reviews, m'dear ;). Hhahaha point taken with the salty water. It will get fixed pronto :P.

Yes! That was actually a tough call for me with Mad Eye. But I figured since he's arleady been an Auror for so long, and that (even though his is the first bit of reality the war is taking on at Hogwarts) it has still been going on for years... we'd start off with those gone. He'll get plenty more damage, poor guy. BUT! You will hear the story of both during a night that involves the Order members getting a bit relaxed.

I know I know :( I don't want to. I love them. BUT! If it's any consolation, they live to meet their only grandson :)! Their death won't be extremely exciting, Miss JKR put out a statement that they both died of natural causes. Which sucks cause I kind of wanted them to go out, wands blazing.

Your reviews are always awesome ♥ thank you so much darling!


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Review #25, by Emma 

6th October 2012:
Sorry they didn't put the rest of my review on :(
Any way as I way saying:
I love Lily and James :)
I fell in love with this story the moment I read it and I seriously hope that you update and put new chapters up regularly because I will be checking hahah I think I have found my new favourite fan-fic :) (major fan girling over here) :D
Please keep writing and don't give up!
Oh and by the way I love when the chapters are super long :) it means I get to read more of the story :D
Just asking (if you don't know or you don't want to say, you don't have to answer) but when do you think the next chapter will be out?!?!?!!
Again thank you for writing this story and I love it

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the awesome reviews! They really are perfect for each other, aren't they?! I love these two, as well. The next chapter should be up by the middle of next week! I'm trying to get a new chapter up every week, and you are more than welcome to ask anytime! I'm so happy you enjoyed reading what I have do far, and I hope that when
I get the next chapter up, you like that one as well :)!

I have a short one shot on my author page called Sweet Dreams that is just a little look into Lily and James's lives as parents, so if you need an extra dose of those two... ;)

Thanks again for reviewing! It means so much to me!
Jami


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