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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lia_2390 

21st April 2013:
"Then I guess we better make this good."

Oh my! Best last line ever.

I apologise up front for the squeeing that will ensue in this review.

Can I just say how much I love your characterisation of Viktor Krum? Or that somehow, his relationship with Rose reminds me of Edward Rochester's relationship with Jane Eyre? He's so infuriating sometimes and yet he is the biggest tease. I loved the build up to this moment - I like the fact that you included certain things, whether they were gestures or words to make this entire moment believable. The only thing that will make this awkward is when Rose finds out that her new boyfriend was her mother's first kiss. I say 'when' because you mentioned it a couple times already, so I figure that she will find out.

It's a bit eerie how he knows exactly what she's thinking. The line you used to tell us that gave me pause. He has certainly seen a lot in his fifty plus years. While Rose does have the ability to be
sensible, there is something about him that strips all those layers away leaving her very vulnerable. That's why I used my earlier Jane Eyre comparison.

I really, really enjoyed this chapter, and I hope this review makes some sense to you :)


Lia

Author's Response: Hooray! I'm so glad you liked the last line. I always try really hard to leave chapters on a strong note. And please, never apologize for squeeing. I'm squeeing over this review right now!!

*falls over* Jane Eyre is one of my absolute favorite novels and I'm beyond thrilled that you see a bit of Rochester in Krum!! I know my characters will never compare, but Krum is my feeble attempt at a modern Byronic hero -- one of my favorite literary archetypes. And yes, Rose will find out -- to some degree -- about Krum and Hermione. Not everything, but enough...

In a lot of ways, the relationship is very unbalanced and Rose is vulnerable with him. She doesn't yet understand him the same way he understands her. Hopefully part of her journey by the end of the story will show her gaining some of that power and finding her footing.

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful review!!


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Review #2, by CambAngst 

14th February 2013:
Wow. I think Rose just opened up something that will be very difficult to close.

This was a brilliantly-paced chapter. From the very slow, frustrating Q&A session that starts it off through Rose's break-neck tumble into Viktor's invitation at the end, you just kept accelerating the whole way. Past a certain point, I don't think I could have stopped reading if I'd wanted to. I can't believe this was almost 6,000 words.

Krum -- I feel like I have a tendency to call him Krum when I find him frustrating and Viktor when I'm liking his behavior more. I do the same thing with Severus Snape -- really has me wondering, now that I understand what he was thinking at the end of the chapter. Does he really care about the book at all? Has the book simply become a way to get close to Rose? Thinking back to when the two of them met in the bar, he's seemed very interested in her at a personal level. His fit of jealousy when he sees Rose with Al at the restaurant would seem to confirm it. By the way, I don't know whether this was intentional or not, the way you emphasized how Al's hair was lying down was clever. That made it a lot less likely that Viktor would recognize him as Harry's son.

Just to hit on a few other themes, I love the game of cat-and-mouse that the two of them keep playing whenever Rose tries to get underneath the armor and into the details of his personal life. It seems like the two of them can go back and forth at each other for hours. And based on the timeline, I guess they probably did. Also, poor Al. He's so confused. And it seems that he came along at the perfect time (perfectly bad, anyway) to help Rose hear the ticking of her biological clock. Gah, that's a horrible thing to say about someone who's only 24! But her parents, aunts and uncles were already having kids in their mid-20's, so I guess it's whatever you get used to thinking of as "normal".

You did a fantastic job with Rose's racing thoughts at the end of the chapter. There was definitely a danger there. A strong possibility that the whole thing could have come off feeling very rushed. But because of the way this chapter was paced and the frustration and anxiety that you'd put Rose through after Krum bolts from the restaurant, it all just sort of fell into place. And don't think I didn't notice what Viktor did. He took her purse, making sure that she'd have no choice but to follow. Then he keeps warning her, "don't make me angry, don't make me angry", virtually guaranteeing that somebody like Rose isn't going to back down. He gets her all wound up and then he drops the line from her own book on her. Viktor Krum has so much game!

OK, so here are the little typos that I was able to slow down enough to notice:

Its nearly eight," he said, taking a breif glance at his watch. - brief

I want to know why came to see me that night at the Ministry. - why you came to see me...

There may have been more. Honestly, I was just devouring this by the end. Great chapter!

Author's Response: First, I've gone through and fixed all the typos you've pointed out in all the chapters, so thank you. It's terrible how many there have been.

You're right to be suspicious of Krum's motives. At this point, he could really care less about the book, except that it's a good reason to get close to Rose. Al's hair! I didn't even notice that. I mean... yes, of course. I am very super clever and planned that perfectly :P

I'm so glad you liked the pair's back and forth here. I really wanted it to build the tension between them but without crossing over into just annoying. Haha, I wouldn't say Rose is in any hurry to have a baby, but I do think she imagined herself to be further along in finding "the one" by this point in her life. The fact that everyone in her life seems to have someone really does highlight how alone she is.

I was so worried about the ending here. I wanted her decision to feel impulsive but without the writing itself feeling rushed. I really didn't want a whole long internal monologue where she debates the matter, or has this long disingenuous talk with herself about how much a surprise all of this was, and how could a man like him want a girl like her. And yes, Krum really is a master at the hunt. Rose isn't really any match for him here.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #3, by Dark Whisper 

13th February 2013:
I received your thank you message on the forums. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to respond. I'm technologically challenged like that. XD You are very welcome. I found your story on the Valentine's Day voting thingy and I'm so glad that I checked it out. Your story is outstanding and addicting and whoever recommended it was spot on.

Now... on to this chap...
Hot, hot, hot! Aside from the fact that your story is utterly brilliant, I cannot get enough of your Viktor. I love that he is a "one-word answer" kind of man and that he had a decent childhood, or at least he is unwilling to admit to anything else, perhaps his family is off limits in the book and without making an outright demand, it is clear that he will not talk about them and leaves it at that. I find it perfect that he calls her question session as 'interrogation' because that is what it feels like. It is no wonder that she has no real info to write about. She needs to get to KNOW him to get him to open up, which I'm sure she will... :)

He sure did have something on his mind, didn't he? More than dinner. And how bold is he to ask her to pay for it? As I read, I was wondering if it was more of a test to see if she really would, more so than him not having any money.

He likes to play head games a bit, really in seeing how she ticks. Her naivety is obvious and it probably amuses him.

Ah, he is jealous! How wonderful. But really, leaving Krum by himself was definitely not the right thing to do. I can totally see his point of view. It was disrespectful and obviously made him feel insecure. I would've been furious if my man did that to me. Grrr. And then... aha! He paid! Somehow I suspected that he would. :)

And then... his quoting of her own words about leaving a man his dignity... oh my falling stars! Amazing! He really knows how to win a lady, doesn't he? A true master of this art form. Oh, my. It was no wonder that it finally fast forwarded her to the same page that he was on. And again, it tells us about his character. He isn't all brawn and no brains, is he? No... he is Viktor Krum! Gah!

You've given me everything that I could've hope for in an excellent characterization of Krum. Amazing!

And here I am as a reader practically banging down the door to the next chapter...

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Well, I hope you don't mind but I've thanked you again in the Reviews That Made You Smile thread. The review you left on the very last chapter was one of the best I've ever received. Oh, and you can just hit Add Comment to respond to messages on your Profile feed :)

Now to this lovely review... I think Viktor always has something on his mind (and occasionally it's naughty!). Maybe from being famous at a young age, or just as part of his personality, but I do see him as a bit manipulative. He gets what he wants by playing games instead of just being direct with people. It isn't really malicious, but it isn't always nice either.

You're right. It was wrong of Rose to leave him there, but she wasn't intentionally being rude. Krum doesn't exactly take the high road about it though!

I'm so glad you liked the ending. I almost didn't have him quote the line, but in the end, I wanted, like you said, something to get her on the same page. To me, that felt way more intimate than any physical gesture.

It's been so much fun reading and responding to your reviews. It feels like I'm writing the story all over again :)


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Review #4, by maskedmuggle 

15th January 2013:
Woah - brilliant again! I really liked everything leading up to that moment... the moment when Rose had to make a choice. Throughout the story you've managed to make such a crazy relationship actually believable, and I think it was a good choice on your part to develop it over the 10 chapters.

Ahh I find Krum a little bit of a creep (partly due to all his hidden secrets that he doesn't want to reveal!). I want to know what's going on in his head, and of course, I want to know his whole back story! I like how Rose also wants to know, and it's kind of like both the reader and Rose are on the same journey, finding it out together. Even though Rose seems quite uncertain... I can imagine how this really strange intimate feeling might cause her to choose what she did.

Ooh I say this all the same, but I really can't wait until I read the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping in again. I know you're short on reading/reviewing time these days. And I'm super happy you liked the chapter.

Krum is a bit creepy at times, in that sort of way that overly-confident men can be (at least in my head). And I think Rose is definitely swept up in the intimacy of the circumstances. She's with him around the clock, he's obviously interested, he knows just what to say to get to her, etc. Anyway, I'm glad you think the pairing is believable, at least to some extent.

Thank you again for the lovely review :)


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Review #5, by Ardeith 

19th September 2012:
Loved this chapter!! Great build up... I had noticed in the last chapter that all the things that Krum said could be construed as flirting.

Especially loved that Rose took control at the end. Yay, she wants this relationship, too!

I'd paste practically all the chapter into this box, but there are probably rules against it. Here are some of my favorite bits:

"He was staring at her so intently now she could almost feel her knees start to give way under the pressure. It was like they were standing together at the edge of a cliff. If she turned around and walked out that door, she might be able to save them both. But if she continued on, pushed just a little further, Rose knew she could send them both straight over the edge."

and:

"It had been a long time since Rose had felt like this, like she was on the precipice of something big. Something primal. Something raw and full of need."

and:

Rose shuddered once and said, Then we better make this good."

Author's Response: Hooray! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. It's true -- Krum has been a big flirt but in the end it's Rose who really makes it happen.

And I'm so glad you pointed out those lines. That scene was a challenge to write, so it makes me really happy to know you liked those bits.

Thank you for the R&R!


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Review #6, by Jchrissy 

9th September 2012:
Okay, now that the next chapter is up I am prepared to leave a review ;).

First of all, I was SO annoyed that she didn't just tell him it was her cousin!! PS - I'm horrible at remembering whose next gen belongs to who, so if I ever call them cousin/brother I apologize ;).

Anyway - this chapter had some serious sexual tension. Not even just the ending, it felt like a game from the start. I am just as frustrated as Rose with Viktor refusing to really open up, and I was totally along the same lines as her with the - he must've had an unstable childhood, thoughts. Haha!

I am very curious as to how he is getting this book information, and can I think I may need a cold glass of water! ;)

I really love the progress this has made, it's enough to feel natural but not too slow, nor did I feel like you threw me in the middle of a relationship that made no sense.

And no, my patience is gone and I need to read on!

Author's Response: This, I will admit, was a fun chapter to write. I felt the same way about the whole "it being a game" idea. Krum enjoys teasing her, no question about it. What Rose just won't admit to herself until the very end is that she enjoys the chase almost as much as he does. And I'm glad the sexual tension worked/came through. I've never actually written romance before so this is all new territory for me. I was aiming to not be cheesy, so hopefully I came close to the mark.

The bits about how he knows about the book, who Albus is, and a small taste of Krum's childhood will all be addressed in Chapter 12...along with a few other questions I've been carrying along for a while. Hopefully the answers live up to the wait!

Thank you again and again and again!


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