7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst 

13th February 2013:
This story just keeps picking up speed! I love your pacing. It's definitely one of the best things about the story. There's obviously a lot of information that needs to come across, and you go about it in such a way that it gets delivered in the natural flow of the story. You never just dump names and places and facts and events on the reader. I always have good context for the information, which makes it much easier to follow along with a very intricate story.

The initial back story that Rose digs up on Krum was a nice little appetizer. It left me with some hints of how his playing career began and how it came to an end, but with plenty of questions that I hope you'll be able to explore as Rose digs deeper into the man for the book. He's such an enigmatic figure, and seemingly a cautionary tale of how things could have turned out very differently for Harry or Ginny, for instance.

Heart is such a bastard in this. He's perfect for the part, unburdened by much of a conscience and able to twist his narrative of events with ease in order to make it seem like what they're doing is moral if not downright imperative. I love the casual way that he directs Rose to essentially spend all of her waking hours and then some on the project, like the idea that she might have anything else to do in her life -- family, friends, eating, sleeping -- has never even occurred to him.

You're reloading a lot of new questions that left me wanting to read more. Who is Krum's mysterious friend who's given him this palace to inhabit? A former lover? Fan? Business partner? What will come of his trial? Justice seems to move swiftly in the wizarding world, at least a lot faster than in the non-magical world. Three months seems like a pretty long time relative to, say, the way that Harry was nearly drummed out of Hogwarts.

Krum seems totally casual about the idea of banging out a book in a couple of months, though. I suppose that since he doesn't have to do much of the actual work, it's no big deal to him. Answer the questions. That's more or less the extent of his involvement.

Throughout, you managed to keep Rose in a really nice light. She's mentally tough enough to tangle with characters like Heart and Krum, but there's also a naivete about her. She really doesn't realize how pivotal her role is in the entire process, or just how nasty the demons that torment the people around her seem to be. She sees everyone in a kinder light than they probably deserve. I suppose that will actually help when it comes to writing the book.

I did notice one thing that might be a typo: But it certainly wouldn’t hurt his case if people knew he’d spent that evening in the company of the daughter of two of country’s highest-ranking law enforcement officials. - ... two of the country's...

This chapter flowed beautifully. It didn't feel nearly as long as it was. I'll be back soon!

Author's Response: Hooray for good pacing! I really spent a lot of time fretting over it, and I still worry the opening chapters are far too slow, but I'm glad the story feels like it's chugging along at this point.

Since this is the chapter where the book excerpts stop, I thought I might be able to get away with a little more in terms of backstory. And I really wanted to lend some creditability to Quidditch. I think it could have been easy for Rose to brush off the whole thing, and by extension the books itself, as being silly, but sports is a big money maker and what Krum did mattered to people...at least for a while.

Heart is a blast to write, but he also really helps me to push the plot along. I tried to use him to help build immediacy by forcing this deadline on her, and also by giving her permission not to leave the man's side. Hopefully, he's both a voice of reason and the one adding the pressure.

Figuring out the timing for this whole story was the worst! Something like this could drag out for a year or more in the real world, so having it happen in a single week or month seemed like a stretch. I was also thinking that in a post-Voldemort world, justice might slow down a bit. Rule of law always seems the most blurred in wartime.

What you said about Rose is exactly how I wanted her to come across. She isn't helpless; she can hold her own with the likes of Heart and Krum. But she does see the good in people, which is exactly why Heart have her the job and why Krum is drawn to her. Hopefully her naivete feels genuine. As someone from a good family and a relatively comfortable upbringing, I can't imagine her not being at least a little sheltered.

Thanks you for this wonderful review. I'm kind of nervous about what you'll think once the more romantic elements of the story start coming into play!

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Review #2, by Dark Whisper 

13th February 2013:
Hmm... Heart. He sure seems to know how to sell a book... timing and all. Even though it is exploiting a bad situation, he does have a point, as ruthless as it seems. You have real-world insight, here... so true to the publishing world.

And I LOVE that he pointed out that Krum is trying to protect Rose from the circus that surrounded him for decades. I love that Krum refuses to mention her. It just speaks volumes of his character, his experience and wisdom that has come with age. There really are worse things than prison... like destroying a girl's private life, right? ;( I am loving your Krum more and more by the minute.

I love that we get to dive deeper into his life... her research of his history is providing your readers with wonderful details and we see where he is living now, which seems a pretty nice gift.

Thanks so much for this very intriguing and wonderfully written story. You are a true pro.

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad the publishing parts feel true to life. I don't have any direct experience in the publishing world myself, but I can't imagine it isn't a little ruthless at times.

I'll admit, a lot of my characterization of Krum is built around that part in the GoF movie where Hermione says he isn't "particularly loquacious." I really did try to make his actions speak for him here, or I guess his lack of action, actually... Living in the Potter/Weasley bubble, I'm not sure the thought would have occurred to her on her own, that he could have used her to get out of trouble. But I think someone as shrewd as Heart would have picked up on it right away.

I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. It really was a labor of love and it thrills be no end that anyone out there wants to read it at all!

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Review #3, by maskedmuggle 

5th October 2012:
Ahh this was a fantastic and so well written chapter! It really felt like the story was moving along, from Part I to this part (I'm not explaining it very well, but the transition was excellent). It was great to see a glimpse of the writing production/publishing process and to know that we're getting closer to discovering all of Krum's secrets!

I liked how you explained what had happened to Krum in his trial and everything, and it was interesting that the news came via Joseph Heart and the newspaper. A small part of me is kind of surprised that Brooks didn't contact Rose at all about it, considering how he was a rather important driving force behind the book and wanting Rose involved?

The quidditch info and some of Krum's history was great! It's already starting to give me a better idea of Krum. Interesting to see where he lives too.. well I really, really enjoyed this chapter! Looking forward to the questioning and I'm definitely intrigued by how the romance will come into play! :)
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Thank you again for another lovely review. I'm so glad you thought the transition worked well. I felt that some time needed to pass between their first meeting and what happens in the next chapter, but I worried about all the narrative and backstory reading too bland. Hopefully it worked all right in the end.

As to why Brooks didn't contact Rose directly, I hope that becomes more clear in future chapters too...about how he really fits into all of this.

I'm so happy you liked the chapter. If you get a chance to read more, I'd be interested what you think of Rose and Krum after they finally "get together." Thank you again for continuing to read and review. I really appreciate it so very much.

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Review #4, by Ardeith 

19th September 2012:
I'm sorry I'm so late getting to review your story. I'm going to try to catch up! Life gets in the way, you know?

Anyway, great chapter. I'm excited for the romance, but think the build up has been great. Neither Krum nor Rose went into this expecting a romance I think, so it would take a little longer.

Though it does seem like he is flirting with her in this chapter, which I like.

On the forum note, I tried to join the forums before with my (personal) gmail address, but it wouldn't let me. I don't want to use a more "official" school/work address though. Anything I can do?

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I know how busy life can get. It means a lot that you're continuing to try and find time to read the story.

As to the forums, the system won't accept gmail accounts due to spam issues. But if you create a free hotmail or yahoo mail account, you should be able to sign up with no problems. I hope you do. It's a lot of fun over there :)

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Review #5, by Jchrissy 

7th September 2012:
This reviews going to suck because I HAVE to continue.
Quick and dirty style:

Your Krum makes me want to care about him. I want to know everything then I want Rose to take it all away.

Your Rose makes me think -in main stream non wizard turns- of the young, virtues starlet (she's not, but close to it with her family's popularity) that somehow ends up falling for the Johnny Depp style bad guy. She's hard working, do I'm excited to see how she'll handle wanting something else besides work with him.

I don't think your progressing the relationship too slowly at all, it would have seemed unrealistic for something to happen as of now and not true to the Rose you've created.

Must continue! iPhone review, please pardon random errors.

Author's Response: I need to come up with a better word for thank you when replying to your reviews...but until then...THANK YOU! I'm so glad you're still liking the story. Rose is a good girl, and Krum is the bad boy with a softer side buried deep down. I'm so glad that is coming through and that the relationship isn't developing too slowly. Once it gets going, it's high gear, but I'm afraid I may have taken too long to get to the punch. Thank you again for continuing to R&R! You've been so supportive of the story and that means a lot to me.

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Review #6, by El 

2nd September 2012:
I actually really enjoyed this story. It's nice to see some things that are different like Hugo being gay, the Weasley's not having a massive house and Rose not having a super successful job. I love the long chapter and the plot line and am curious as to how events lead to the prologue. Great story, please update soon?

Author's Response: Thank you, El. I am so glad you are enjoying the story. I've not been intentionally avoiding cliches but I'm really pleased that this story brings a little something different to the table. The next chapter should be up in the next day or so. Thank you again!

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Review #7, by lilyflower132 

1st September 2012:
This is not the kind of story i think i would usually like, but i love this one. i was so excited to see you updated and and cant wait till you update next!

Author's Response: Thank you, lilyflower! I'm so glad you are enjoying. I've already sent the next chapter off to my beta. Hopefully it will be up in the next day or two.

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