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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm 

2nd April 2013:
Roseís initial description of Krum was rather complementary, wasnít it? I rather liked that it was as it showed how potential relationship between the two could develop, yet at the same time didnít put too much emphasis on it. I found interesting that Krum found Rose just as intriguing, and that he was studying her with the same intensity. I wonder whether he was trying to pick out signs of Hermione in her. Aha I was right, he was looking for Hermione.

I really liked your characterisation of him. We never got to see that much of him in the book, but I liked how you made him surlier and almost cynical, it fits well with his deterioration and drug use. I was surprised as Rose about him not drinking alcohol, you almost just assume he would with his other vices, but I suppose this shows heís not as bad as many people perceive him to be.

Krum is such an odd character, but his oddness makes him all the more interesting. The way he has that physical dominance of Rose seems to be suggesting that he wants to lay claims over her, like he used to be able to. Then you would never have thought he would be the one to break up the fight, yet he did.

I really like Rose too, the way sheís trying to better herself, yet sheís still kind and compassionate. I can definitely see the mix of Ron and Hermione in her, and itís so nice that you passed on their characteristics, and didnít make her someone different.

I thought it was interesting that Rose seemed to think visiting her family as more of a duty rather than something of pleasure, and you could tell that there was some tension there due to her thinking of the family home as too small, and mentioning her parents retiring. I canít put my finger on it, but it just doesnít seem that right.

Hugoís gay? I always imagined him being gay, but I thought I was alone on that front, so Iím glad that youíve got the same views. I want to meet Billy too, and see what heís like. Rose did seem a little bitter towards them, and towards Albus and Amelia, I really want to know if this is just her natural inclination or whether thereís another reason. Rose must have made an impression on Krum if sheís the only one heíll see, so she drew him in.

Though Krum hasnít endeared himself to many, heís endeared himself to me with his quirkiness, and his obvious plead for help with him going so off the rails. The fact that he didnít put up a struggle seems to suggest to me that he almost wanted to be arrested, so that people will see how much he needs help. Or Iím just reading too far into this ;D

I thought Brooks may have just made it up that Krum didnít know anything about the book, but I guess my assumptions are being proved incorrect because it does seem that Brooks really didnít tell them. I have a feeling weíre not going to find out for a while, which is annoying as itís really bugging me not knowing!

I was so glad that Rose began to fight back against Krum, he needed telling off! I felt so proud of her and may have got a little carried and started doing girl power chants in my head! It pains me to say that he did deserve it as he was being rather obnoxious to poor old Rose, and she stuck up for Brooks as well. At least the book was agreed to!

Author's Response: Deciding how much to describe Krum was tough. He is the romantic lead, so I wanted to give him a proper introduction, but I may have gone a little overboard. It's strange because in the books, he isn't described as very handsome, but yet he still has legions of girls following him around. I tried to find a middle ground of portraying him as alluring without actually being overly handsome.

I'm so glad you liked his characterization! We know enough from canon to give him an interesting jumping-off point, but there was still lots of room for me to play. I'm glad his sort of contradictory nature came through here. It's a running theme with him that leaves Rose on unsteady ground. You aren't the first person to mention it being odd that he breaks up the fight. I might need to look at that part again. I meant to imply that he does it as a favor to his friend, the owner of the bar, but maybe that's not coming through...

It's not that Rose doesn't enjoy seeing her family...I just think of her more as going through that strange phase of life where the way she relates with her parents is evolving. She's an adult but she still feels a bit like a kid when it comes to parents. She's trying to look at them as fellow adults and understand why they do what they do (live in a small house when they could afford bigger, not retire, etc.) but she's not quite there yet. But if it's coming of as judgmental or out of character, I definitely don't want that. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll take another look at it.

A few readers have told me the imagined Hugo as gay too. I thought it was a good fit for the story since I wanted Rose to be surrounded by people in all types of relationships, but maybe it's an actual thing! Rose is pretty short with him and Al. That will all boil over a bit in later chapters, so if you read that far, I'll be interested to see if you think it was explained well.

I don't think you're reading too much into it at all! I'm glad that you have mixed feelings about Krum. My intention was always to leave his true nature and intentions ambiguous until the end. I want the reader to feel torn on whether to tell Rose of go for it or to run screaming for the hills.

Thank you for such a wonderful review. I always feel so terribly conceited when replying to them! I hope you've enjoyed the story up to this point. I've certainly enjoyed your reviews. Thank you again!!


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Review #2, by Dark Whisper 

13th February 2013:
Ah, the excerpt... it made me want to root for him and cheer him on. It is still heartbreaking that he had to fall so low, but you are so right about changing his life and having to find his self-worth through something else, not athletic ability or money. Whaa! Go Krum!

You had me laughing at his relaxed state. "Two nights in a row? People will start to talk." Hahaha! I love this about him. And I love his mentioning that there are worse things than prison. Wow, that is saying something with experience, I'm sure, to back it up.

But Rose was getting heated and irritated, she gets that from her mother for certain. And I think he loves it... someone that will stand up to him.

And finally, permission to write the book. Yeah! :)

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you're cheering for Krum. I really hoped people would warm to him before the romance kicked off, since the pairing is kind of odd.

I think Viktor's been through it all at this point, so he can keep that sort of nonchalant attitude, even when he's sitting in jail. And I'm so, so happy you picked out that line about being in prison. It's a point the two will revisit again before the story is over.

Lol, yes. I think Rose has a lot more of her parents in her than she'd like to admit. Thank you again reviewing!


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Review #3, by CambAngst 

11th February 2013:
KRUM!

I confess, ever since I read Goblet of Fire, when I see Krum's name, I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian muttering "CROM!" It's one of those little things I can never shake. Oh, wait, why am I here again?

Hi, there! Back again for another chapter. ;)

I thought this chapter was a really interesting mix of showing us how impulsive Rose can be as well as giving us a fun little peek into your thoughts on how the legal system of the wizarding world works. I'll save the former for a while and jump into the latter.

The way that you portrayed the wizarding legal system -- evening many years removed from the time of the books -- felt about right to me. The Wizengamot still seems to be a kangaroo court, focused more on appearances and outcomes than on procedure and the pursuit of actual justice. They're perfectly willing to toss Krum into prison for muggle-baiting, regardless of what other witnesses might have to say on the matter. It's sad that this would still be the case so long after Harry's sham trial for saving himself and Dudley from the Dementors, but entirely believable.

I thought it was interesting that Brooks also has no idea that Krum knew why Rose was at the pub. Whether or not Brooks's heart is in the right place, I think his step-father understands things a lot better than he realizes.

Your descriptions of the holding cells inside the Ministry were vivid and stark. The images of the metal doors that almost hermetically seal really stuck with me.

The Hit Wizard seems convinced that Krum is going to attack her. The way that she brushes aside his concerns adds a little more evidence of Rose's impulsive nature. And then they're face to face once again.

I love Rose's determination that Krum isn't going to get the better of her. There were so many places during there conversation where a less headstrong person might have backed off just a bit, but not Rose. She is fearless in the face of this man she barely knows who beat another man half to death in front of her less than 24 hours ago.

I'm kind of curious as to whether she really does want to write Krum's story or whether there's some other psychological urge here that she can't quite put a name to. But she's in, now. I can't wait to see where that decision takes her.

I did notice a few things that looked like typos as I was reading:

The small cafes and newsstands that lined either side of the long corridor were all closed up, not a shopkeeper in site. -- in sight.

ďIt wonít do any good,Ē Brooks said, removing the badge from his shirt and shoving into the pocket of his wrinkled suit jacket. -- shoving it into

They had traveled down several long hallways, entering an area of the Ministry Rose hadnít visited before, and they were now standing outside a plane metal door. -- plain metal door.

Overall, though, your writing was splendid as usual.

I'm making progress, chapter by chapter. The temptation to just burn through the whole story without stopping to review is powerful, but I'm going to stick with this. Back again soon!

Author's Response: Putting characters in legal trouble has become a bit of a habit for me. I guess it's true you write what you know!

I'd like to think the wizarding courts would be better now than what Harry faced, but I can imagine the pendulum swinging too far the other way -- to over-compensate for rounding up muggles, they'd now be quick to clamp down on anyone who attacks muggles just to look tough. Also, it's always extra circus-y with celebrities. They seem to either get preferential treatment or else have the book thrown at them to avoid the appearance of the former. Anyway, I'm glad it felt okay to you here, especially since I really liked the court scene you depicted in CoB.

I'm so happy Rose's impulsiveness comes through here. She really is pretty level-headed most of the time, but there is something about Krum specifically that brings it out in her, which in turn draws Krum to her.

In my head, the urge that is driving Rose to do the book is a combination of her interest in Krum, who is so different from all the other people in her life, and just the simple desire to write again. She doesn't want to admit that she really is happiest when she's writing -- something Albus was trying to tell her in chapter three, and Hermione will remind her of down the road.

Thanks for another wonderful review. You should throw in more criticisms so I don't get too spoiled :P


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Review #4, by maskedmuggle 

5th October 2012:
So my reading HPFF time has been very sporadic and I can't believe I'm only just reading this chapter now! It was worth the wait though, your writing is as brilliant as ever and I love how each chapter just flows and continues where you left off from the previous chapter.

There was only one thing that I found kind of questionable? From the previous chapter it seemed that Krum was extremely insistent on talking only to Rose, but in this chapter I felt like Rose and Krum didn't really put any focus on that, and it wasn't really completely explained why.. I mean, he's only known Rose for like a couple of hours.. and when asked by Rose why he had wanted to talk to only her, he kind of diverted the attention to something else.. and acted like there was no real reason.. ďVhat ever shall ve talk about?Ē but I guess it all kind of reflects on his mysterious character - Krum is such an enigma! His actions and changing moods are leaving me baffled.. he's suggestive/cheeky, philosophical, creepy, unconcerned.. basically I can't wait until Rose finally starts to interview him and to get the full story of his weird behaviour and thoughts!

I really liked that Rose finally realised/came out with wanting to write the book about Krum. I'm wondering who told Krum? and if he knew about the book why was he so surprised with Rose's intentions - you vhat? By the way, I think I may have said this before, but kudos for acing Krum's accent every time in his dialogue! I don't think it would sound as realistic without the v's!

It was a great continuing chapter though! Always enjoyable to read. I hope to read the rest of what you have up so far and the rest of the story! :)
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Thank you, Charlotte. I'm flattered you'd use any of your limited HPFF time reading my story. It makes me feel very warm and fuzzy on the inside :)

Hmmm...I had to stop and think for a moment on your comments. I didn't really mean to leave the issue of why Krum was so insistent on talking to Rose just sort of hanging out there unanswered, but I guess I sort of did. I think it becomes obvious as the story progresses, but thinking back, maybe it would be more realistic if she pressed him harder for an answer, even if he refused to tell her the whole truth. How Krum knows about the book though is definitely covered in a future chapter!

I'm glad you like the accent (though I do tone it down a bit moving forward as Rose adjusts to the sound of it, just so as not to drive the reader nuts), and I'm so happy you liked the rest of the chapter too. Sorry it took me so long to reply to your review. Thank you so, so much for leaving it!


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Review #5, by Jchrissy 

7th September 2012:
Bahhh you just love to play with my head! That big bold END OF PART 1. I have to say, you're a lucky woman that the next few chapters are posted...

So! I am thrilled to know you majored in criminal justice. Most people would gloss over the actual details of when he got arrested what his son/lawyer was doing about it, what could potentially happen.. all that. I love that you used the muggle system mixed with the wizarding world. And even happier about your degree, because it means I don't have to be completely jealous of how realistic your writing is when it comes to the legal aspects of this. Jealous of course, because your writing in itself is amazing, but not completely ;).

And Krum... Krum Krum Krum. If it were anyone else I'd think they were just faking their obvious nonchalant attitude, but I really don't think he is. And I can't help but wondering if he's going to end up elaborating on the 'there are worse things than Azkaban statement.' I also kind of have a crush on him.. I find myself really wanting to root for these two despite the scandal, his horrible circumstances, I feel like she could help make him better, maybe he could help make her life not so stressful (or, way more stressful if he keeps getting arrested). And she could writer an amazing book about him..

I'm going off on tangents, I just love how much you've made me care for these characters and their very different/original circumstances.

I also love the way that I could *feel* that Rose really, really wanted that book. It wasn't just about her boss/being a good person and trying to help anymore, it was that serious desire to create something about Krum that everyone can read.. Whether it was because she was starting to feel for him, and wanted to dig deeper into him to find out more, or because she wanted to use her skills to possibly change the worlds opinion on him... OR she just had that 'clicking' kind of feeling that it was right... I'm not sure. I'm just super excited that she actually *wants to* now.

ALSO! Very curious as to how (Krum) found out. I hope this review didn't feel too chaotic, I just kept remembering things I wanted to comment on during my second read through!!!

Can't wait to read the next chapter ♥

Author's Response: Yea! Another wonderful review from you. I'm too lucky!

See, I knew all those degrees would be of some use one day. Throwing people in jail has actually become an accidental theme for me, it seems. I suppose I could have tried to create some sort of elaborate wizarding legal system but I think it would have stood at as odd in scope of the story. I hope it worked okay as a hybrid of sorts.

I'm so glad you're liking them as a pair/potential couple. I've really tried to ease into the romance, to make it more palatable for people, sneaking it is a scene at a time. And, ah, Krum. I am shooting for a "confidence is sexy" vibe with him. I hope that's what is coming through!

I'm really excited for what you said about Rose. That's exactly what she's feeling. She doesn't yet know *why* she wants to write the book, but all those ideas have occurred to her, so I'm so glad you picked up on that.

As to how Krum knew about the book, he'll finally come clean with her in chapter 12.

Thank you so, so much for continuing to review. I hope you are enjoying the story!


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Review #6, by Ardeith 

22nd August 2012:
Yay, I'm the first reviewer! Good chapter. Of course, we know Rose writes the book, but it's nice to see her acknowledge that she WANTS to write the book and knows she CAN.

Great job on the exposition at the beginning of the chapter. The conversation between Rose and Brooks revealed so much information so naturally. And you kept it interesting as you described them walking through the ministry.

Author's Response: Thank you, Ardeith! It's true, Rose agreeing to write the book isn't really a surprise, but I hope her realization that she *wants* to write the book helps propel the story forward.

I'm so glad you thought the exposition came out okay. I worried that it would come off as using the dialogue as a means of lecturing to the audience. I hoped the fact that all the information was new to Rose, and giving them something physical to do why they talked, would make it come across a bit more natural. Thank you so much for the review!


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