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8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dark Whisper 

12th February 2013:
Oh, A-Wiz, this is by far my favorite chapter so far. You really went beyond my expectations in your description of this place, Krum's mannerisms, his relaxed state and that coy smile.

I must say, that if I was really reading that book of hers, chapter five would've had me taking up an entire box of tissues... "a forgetable nobody?" Gah, my heart, that's harsh! I would've been bawling my eyes out like the true fan I am. His fall from Quidditch, then from grace is heartbreaking. ;( I cannot help but think at that point while life was falling apart, that there was a part of him that actually wanted the world to go away... kind of like a self-depreciating spiral downward. Sad, indeed.

I Love, love your description of him... black eyes... oh, those serious eyes that any female could fall in love with quite easily. His hair, black and flecked with gray, very fitting and right for his age. I love that he is still broad-shouldered and muscular and LOVE the tattoo... I mean he MUST be tattoo'd, right? LOVE HIM! Pardon while I catch my breath from 'seeing' this hunky brute... perfectly masculine and rugged in all of the fine ways men can be. Honestly, you have described my husband (minus the tattoo and the crooked nose from fighting). LOL! :)

I love the fight scene, the reasons for fighting... and love how she was a bit mortified as she watched him become lethal.

And the end of the chap... WOW! He knew about the book, which if I was Rose, I'd being feeling like a complete fool. But alas, the mystery builds and you have your readings clicking that button to turn the page.

EXCELLENT CHAPTER. Perfect 10/10.

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: For someone who'd been famous since he was a teenager, I imagine it would be a pretty hard slap to the face to be forgotten, but there would also be some measure of relief to it as well. I'm so glad the excerpts are making you feel for Viktor, since he doesn't always do things in the present to make himself very likable.

I'll admit, I almost scaled back the physical description of Krum. I didn't want this to venture too far into harlequin romance territory, and so I tried to stay in line with the way he's described in the books. But I may have ended up indulging just a bit -- but hey, some men just get better with age, right?!

I'm so glad the revelation about the book was a surprise. Now that we'd met Krum, I really wanted to find a hook that would keep the momentum building.

Thank you for another wonderful review. I've never had this many reviews all at once and it's both unexpected and absolutely lovely!


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Review #2, by CambAngst 

29th January 2013:
Wow! This chapter was tense. Up to this point, you've definitely been setting the story up. Layering in details, building up characters and setting the scene. And now something has really happened and I thought it was brilliantly done!

Krum was not at all what I was expecting. He's about as far as you can get from the stereotype of the gullible, insecure former sports hero who allows fake friends and hangers-on to lead him down the path to ruin. He had an almost sage-like quality to him, very perceptive and in touch with the things that were going on around him. He figures Rose out in a hurry, but he doesn't play up his advantage. He allows her to come to him, very gradually. If I came away from this with one conclusion about Krum, it's that his fall from grace was not the end result of a weak individual who was led astray. Whatever happened to Viktor Krum, it seems like he was a knowing participant.

The exchange between Krum and Rose was also really well done. It became a chess match of sorts, with neither one of them willing to give up their secrets too easily. Rose seems to second-guess herself a great deal, but it seemed to me like she was holding her own quite well. At least until the end, when Krum reveals the rest of his cards, so to speak.

You did a fantastic job of writing the bar fight. The tension you created was amazing. I thought you struck a great balance between giving the scene gravity and realism without making it needlessly gory. The way that you supplemented the visual and auditory details with Rose's physical reactions to what was taking place filled in the picture perfectly. There was nothing glorious or over-dramatized about it.

I don't think you could have picked a better reaction for Krum after he finishes thrashing the hooligan who insults Rose. For a brief time, he rediscovers that rush of physical competition, even if it does come in the form of a bar brawl. And his ending revelation -- that he'd already figured out why Rose was there -- was a great twist. Rose is going to have to getup pretty early in the morning to outfox Krum.

So I did notice a couple of typos as I was reading:

She remembered someone once mentioning how her Uncle Harry had meet Krum while they were both still at school, but it never occurred to Rose that Krum might have meet her parents at the same time. - met her parents

I guess now youre sure to have something interesting to vrite about in our. - did you mean to say, "in our book."?

This story really kicked into high gear with this chapter, and I enjoyed it immensely! Will be back soon for more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, CA. I've always sort of thought of this chapter as the real start of the "action," which might be a bad sign seeing as it took six chapters to get there, but I'm glad it had that sort of feel for you too.

It's really cool to read your take on Krum so far, and I see him very much the same way. He's far from bookish, but I do think he's smart to the world around him just because he's pretty much seen it all by this point. And I really think he is his own worst enemy. What he did (and continues to do) is self-sabotage, though I think at some point, when you get that low, even strong people are vulnerable to manipulation by those around them.

I think a chess match is a good description for them here, or at least what I was trying to go for -- and something I hope sort of repeats through some of their future encounters.

Having (thankfully!) never been in a fight before, that scene was really tricky for me. But I'm so glad you thought it felt grounded. I really didn't want to give a blow-by-blow, but I also didn't want to gloss over the grittier details.

Thanks for the typo spots. I made a few quick edits the other day. I can't believe I goofed on the last line. *forehead smack* And thanks for another lovely review. I'm glad you feel the story is picking up steam.


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Review #3, by The Empress 

19th November 2012:
I loved this chapter. The play between Rose and Krum was fascinating. He's really something. The dialogue, the description - it's gorgeous.

Author's Response: Thank you! This chapter was a lot of fun to write. Krum has turned out to be such a great character to play with. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #4, by Jchrissy 

8th August 2012:
Bahhh this was such an intense chapter!!!

AND for some reason the scandal of Rose being Hermione's daughter didn't set in until now. That's crazy and perfectly planned, you sneaky author, you! I love that he remembers so much about Hermione and his comparisons to Rose and her, it made me smile while reminding me how inappropriate this is. Haha

It's also obvious he may have a tid bit of resentment for the man that ended up with Hermione Granger, but not in more than a joking way.

He's quite charming, you know. And I never found him charming in the books, great job with that!

And all the age jabs after breaking up the fight! Poor Krum just lost control.

I can tell you put a lot of work into this chapter and I think it really paid off, I often find fight scenes are over done or under done, either moving too quickly or just being unrealistic, but I think this one was done very well. You made my stomach churn during most of it!

Very intoxicating chapter, m'dear!!

Jami

Author's Response: Thank you for another lovely review, JC! I feel like you always pick up on exactly what I hope readers will take from each chapter.

You are so right. The relationship is/will be inappropriate, and everyone will be eager to tell Rose that. But I hope as it unfolds, readers will see that they actually do care for one another and maybe even root for them as a couple. And you're right about Ron too. No real hard feelings there but they do have a history. Ron will have to deal with a man who once dated his wife and is now dating his daughter. Awkward!

The fight scene was very hard for me but I'm glad you found it well done. I don't like writing violence. I nearly cried after writing the staff violence tutorials!

Thank you again for all the reviews. I hope that if you get the chance to read more chapters, you find them up to par :)


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Review #5, by Cirque Du Freak 

22nd July 2012:
I LOVE THIS CHAPTER AND THIS STORY SO MUCH. Okay, there's the extreme enthusiasm out of the way for now...

Okay, again, I must be tired because it was just the same Britpick-y things and I just couldn't see anything else that major to point out so I will ensue in fangirling instead, because sugar levels are down and I have another 3 hours to go until I eat *completely off topic*

Viktor Krum was everything I did and didn't expect. He was absolutely brilliant and alluring (which was weird, because...well, I didn't like him all that much in GoF) and really he was just full of surprises. He was all mature like with Rose which I thought was quite funny considering she was really quite gobsmacked about the whole ordeal and really she was just trying not to be overly obvious, which then made her obvious.

I still think the character choice for this story is amazing, because as was mentioned in the prologue by The Man in the Suit- Krum was with Hermione and to sort of have a thing with her daughter is really scandalous. Its brilliant.

The whole drunken fight scene was really interesting to read as well, because I'm all for some sort of action and I thought Viktor would've just walked off really so I was a bit surprised to find that he stayed behind and helped out. He has all sorts of hidden qualities, doesn't he?

The scene afterwards was magnificient as Viktor really pushed forward with all brute strength in order to defend Rose's honour (how cute!) against the drunken Muggle. I have a feeling that's something to do with what he saw in her as a person and also what he saw that was her mother - lots of reminiscience and memories pushing forward to make him act so extremely.

HE KNOWS. Ah! I seriously can't wait for the next chapter and I am, again, so glad we got paired up fo the swap! :D

Hannah xxx

Author's Response: I finally made it through editing all the chapters you reviewed. Thank you again for all the notes and comments you left. Such a treat!!

I'm so glad you liked Krum. I didn't really like him in GoF all that much either but I see him as having gone through so much as to be a very different person now, 35 years later. He is supposed to be alluring, so I'm glad you said that. Not necessarily overly attractive but with that little something that pulls people in.

A couple of people said they were surprised to see him intervene in the fight. Hopefully it didn't seem out of character. He will explain his motives a bit in Chapter seven. I hope they make sense then.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapters you read and if you ever get a chance to stop by again, I hope you like the new chapters just as much! Thank you again for all the reviews. You really went above and beyond.


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Review #6, by Ardeith 

20th July 2012:
I've just finished reading your story to date and am very intrigued. I like how Krum turned out to be different than Rose and the reader expected.

And I didn't find your dialogue hard to read, but maybe I'm reading the reformatted dialogue. :-)

Definitely intrigued and looking forward to future chapters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking the story so far. I just made some minor tweaks in the way I was grouping chunks of dialogue together. Nothing too major, but I'm glad you didn't find it hard to read. Thank you again for the R&R. I hope you'll stop by again when the next chapter is up :)

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Review #7, by maskedmuggle 

20th July 2012:
SQUEE! THE END AGAIN! You did it again! Another mini cliffhanger! HE KNOWS ABOUT THE BOOK! AHH! Gosh, at every point you surprise me! You never disappoint - every chapter is just as good if not better with the building of the plot! This was a very intense chapter with the fights and Krum's mysterious character - yet he also felt very powerful in that muggle pub. I have to commend you on the description of him at the end - a lot of people try to describe someone and make it absurdly boring, but you managed it in a way that worked and really allowed me to visualise him.

It was intriguing to see Krum dominating their exchange and Rose so confused! I'm surprised that Krum broke up the two men's fight - I can't help but wonder why? I thought he'd just leave them to fight and not care (since the drugs made him mean, violent). But woah, Krum's fight was seriously big - the bad/mean/violent side of him was really conveyed here and I can't help wondering why he was so affected by the insults mainly aimed at Rose.. (and the old man bit!) Their first interaction is turning out to be quite the drama and I really cannot wait to read more and to see Rose's reaction and response!

It was another fantastic chapter that I really loved reading. I will be waiting for updates, so I'm super glad to hear that you're working on new chapters out once a week! :D Cos' I'm really enjoying this :)

- Charlotte

Author's Response: Squee right back at you! I love you're reviews. They/You are way too good for my ego!!

I'm so glad you didn't think the descriptions of Krum were too boring. I didn't realize until I was done that it was several hundred words long. I thought about scaling back, but I figured if there is one character to really go into detail on, it's him.

The fights were rather hard to write. I've never been in one myself so I had to stretch a bit on that. The reasons for Krum's actions won't be covered so much in the next chapter, but after that, hopefully things will become clear.

Thank you so much for reviewing again. It really makes my day that you're enjoying the story.



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Review #8, by Nicole 

19th July 2012:
This is absolutely wonderful. Your writing is so beautiful, just drawing me in and making me feel as if I'm watching it all happen before me. Rose is fascinating, as is, of course, the mysteroius Viktor Krum. This may be the oddest pairing I've ever seen, but it's incredibly believable so far.

I didn't think your dialogue was difficult to read at all in your previous chapters, but I guess that's just me. Please keep up the incredible work, as this story is already turning out to be one of the great ones.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was afraid people would be really turned off by the pairing, especially now that the characters have finally met, but I'm glad you're finding it interesting and believable. I'm already working on the next chapter and hope to have it posted soon. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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