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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm 

30th March 2013:
Iím just going to combine my reviews, and leave some here and there due to time constraints and me wanting to get to the end ASAP ;D

I really liked the excerpt at the beginning of the chapter. In so many fan fictions thereís a book/article published and we never get to read which is rather annoying in my opinion, so I was glad to see it included here. And we got to learn more about Viktorís background, and it was such an interesting and different way to find out things!

Well Joseph Heart certainly sounded formidableÖ. I loved the mention towards Hagrid though, and how he came out as a winner in a drinking game, I canít wait to see if there any more future references towards him! Then there was Regina McFey! Her stories reminded me of the ones which you can find on the free Kindle downloads page!

I felt rather sorry for Rose in this chapter. She just seemed so innocent, and so young compared to everyone else at her work. But I think thatís what made the work environment work so well, as you could see how something between her and Krum would then develop, if she was so used to dealing with odd people. The mix of people at her work seemed to balance really well though, and I liked how they all had fiery personalities as Iím sure itís going to lead to some interesting stuff later on!

I remember you mentioning that your Albus was dating a girl called Amelia as well, so I was really interested to learn more about her! I liked how you wove in details about both of them in this chapter, such as Rose not earning much money, and Al being restless. It was so nice not to see it done in a really obvious because when itís done like that it almost scares me.

I thought it was interesting that there was some tension between Al and Harry. I feel as if most people are too scared to show Harry in a bad light, but I really like it. I canít wait to see how that develops, and whether thereís any more history behind the two.

I liked how you made Rose stick to her principles. If I was in her position I would be dying to write that book for Krum, as it would be such a big scoop for her, but I liked how you made her reject it. It reminded me of Hermione, and how she wouldnít have done something unless she fully agreed to it. I liked how Heart valued her though, as you almost wouldnít think he would with his harsh demeanour, but youíve developed a really multi-faceted character here, and I canít wait to see more of him!

Iím still on the fence over whether I like this Peter Brook person or not. Thereís just something about him, which puts me off him for some reason. I canít explain it, itís just a thing! I liked the mystery behind Krum though; Iím guessing itís either financial problems, or something related to his drug taking! Either way, I canít wait to find out :D

I should have carried on reading as I found out straight away, but I was right, it was financial problems! Brookís is his step-son though? I certainly wasnít expecting that, and I canít wait to learn more about Krumís previous relationships, as they certainly sound interesting!

I almost felt sorry for Rose, with her thinking she could get out of it. I can understand why she would be offended by being called a Ďpretty little writerí, I wouldnít want to be recognised for my looks, I would want to be recognised for my talent. At least Peter made it up later, with talking about how she was reputable and published.

And there was the first encounter! I was wondering when it was going to happen, and I loved Krumís intro it was just great. I think it was the whole outlandishness by offering to buy the whole place drinks, only an ex-quidditch star whoís in debt would do that.

Itís proven to be an excellent start so far!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the book excerpts. Since the book is such a major part of the story, I thought it might be nice to use some of the actual passages to convey a bit of Krum's backstory.

Heart is a little over the top, I'll admit, though he has his more mellow moments in later chapters. Hopefully he balances out okay over the course of the story. Regina will return as well. And I know exactly what books you're talking about! When I first started writing this, it was the middle of all the 50 Shades hoopla. I may or may not have "borrowed" a little inspiration from that.

I'm so glad you liked the bits with Al. He doesn't have a lot of "screen time" in the story but he's one of my favorite characters. I tried really hard to give the reader a bit of a glimpse into Rose's life here without bogging the story down with too many details. I'm really happy it didn't feel too obvious or heavy-handed. Harry pops up later in the story, but his role isn't too big. I did try to show that all the characters have good and bad sides, so hopefully that's something that carries through the other chapters too.

I'm with you. I would have wanted to write the book too! But Rose doesn't really have the confidence yet to take the risk. I'm glad that Heart's support of her came through here. He comes off pretty crass at times but he really isn't meant to be a terrible guy.

I love reading that you're not totally sold on Peter yet. He's definitely meant to be a character you're just not sure about, at least at this point in the story. He certainly doesn't exactly go out of his way to endear himself to Rose. But hopefully by the end of the story (if you read that far), you'll have a better feel for him. And Krum's past relationships will definitely be a major part of future chapters. Hopefully they prove to be interesting.

I know the set-up is a bit long but I'm so happy you liked their first meeting. I tried to make it worth the wait. It is pretty audacious of him, but I really wanted to make Krum's entrance into Rose's life a memorable one

Thank you so much for such an incredibly lovely review!


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Review #2, by Dark Whisper 

12th February 2013:
The excerpt in this chapter just breaks my heart. Drugs. :( And people around him riding the wave until the money ran out. So sad, my poor Krum. Boo hoo. :( Such a sad existence and circumstance and not to mention entirely believable.

Oh and now we know this little twist with Brooks. It was very surprising that he would be Krum's step-son. Hmm. Intriguing.

And oh my, there he is... Viktor Krum in the flesh, whispering his husky voice into her ear, oh my twinkling stars! And he knew. Ah, a man of mystery. I do love what he says and how he says it. You've written him so well already. :)

Excellent pull to the next chapter. MUST KEEP READING!

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: I really wanted to make his past troubles as believable as possible -- having him both a victim of his circumstance but also very much to blame for his own troubles. I'm really happy it felt plausible to you.

Hehehe, I couldn't help myself. I figured Krum deserved a good entrance. And since he's going to prove a big mystery to Rose, it only seemed fitting.

I'm so glad the story is holding your attention and pulling you along. That's just about the best compliment there is!


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Review #3, by CambAngst 

28th January 2013:
Some were his suppliers, keeping him doped up and suggestible. The rest were an assortment of enablers just hoping to cash in before the well ran dry... - A really sad and recognizable situation if ever there was one. It happens to far too many people in more walks of life than just professional athletics.

You really started to fill in a lot of the important pieces in the first half of this chapter. I was also wondering why Krum was considering such a thing, although I had several suspicions. Brooks cuts straight to the chase. So Krum has no choice if he doesn't want to end up homeless. And he's unwilling to sell out to some sleazy tabloid. I have to say that I really like they way you've set him up here. No matter how desperate his situation has become, he still has that stubborn pride. He's uncompromising, unwilling to settle.

ďYou think Iím being cold, donít you? Talking about Krum this way?Ē - Well, you said it, Peter. I didn't. But Peter is being very matter-of-fact about the whole situation. It sounds like he's been beating his head against this wall for a while. Like he's well beyond the typical point where any attorney with a goal of earning a comfortable living would have given up and walked away. Almost like he has another motive for trying to help his client...

Aaannndd, Peter's his son. Well, step-son. Ex-step-son. Regardless, that puts a different spin on things. The whole situation just got a lot more complicated if you ask me. If Brooks was just another attorney looking to pull Krum off of the scrap heap of history, dust him off and grab a piece of the action for himself, then he would be a lot easier to figure out. But the familial relationship adds another wrinkle to things that makes the story a lot less predictable. Slow clap...

There's yet another angle to this whole story that you haven't touched on yet. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. But the fact that Krum and Rose's mother have a certain romantic history definitely holds some interesting possibilities. I'll just file that one away in the back of my mind for the moment.

Peter's explanation of why he wants Rose is indeed rather offensive, but it makes perfect sense. Rose is no Rita Skeeter. She isn't threatening. She comes off as being young and impressionable and perhaps, at least to someone like Krum, easy to control. We shall see...

I wasn't sure what Rose would do about Peter's suggestion, but it seems that her parents have made her decision for her.

I did notice one typo -- the only one in the entire chapter, I believe -- so I'll point it out: "But is she went through with the meeting, spoke with Krum face-to-face," - should be "if" not "is"

I assume there's some back story to Hugo's pursuit of this American witch? Perhaps another of your stories or some other bit of head canon you've come across? Inquiring minds want to know. ;)

I loved your description of the Olde Friar's Pub. I spent about a decade living in Boston and Cambridge and this reminded me so much of a lot of bars I used to like/frequent. The Druid in Inman Square comes to mind, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, it felt like a very relaxed, comfortable sort of place... unless you happen to be an attractive, young woman out by yourself. In that case, I suppose it would be rather intimidating. Fortunately, Rose doesn't have to wait long before Krum finds her.

The way he greets her is very suggestive. I'm wondering whether maybe my thoughts about Krum's past relationship with her mother and friendship with her uncle might play into this after all.

Another very intriguing chapter! Lots of interesting things transpire, and the picture keeps getting fuller and more detailed. I get the feeling that big things are coming in the next chapter!

Author's Response: First off, thank you for such a lovely and detailed review...my very, very favorite kind!

I'm really glad you're liking the way Krum is being set up here. Hopefully he'll come to show his good side, but stubborn and prideful are definitely qualities he'll display throughout the story. I didn't really want to make him totally down-and-out, but since he isn't after the fame, it was one of the few reasons I could see motivating him to agree to any of what follows, aside for growing to care for Rose.

I'll be total honest, the whole being his step-son thing was not something I planned in advance of writing this chapter. I wish it was, since I might have handled it a better bit, but it was an in-the-moment decision. It actually ends up playing a somewhat big role in the story, and while I still worry it's a little soap opera-ish, I like the added dimension it gives to Peter's character going forward. I am glad, though, that you bought his reasoning for wanting Rose on the project, even if he was less than tactful with the explanation. Between Heart's confidence in her and Peter's seeing her as a non-threat, I hope the reader can buy the idea that Rose would have been trusted with a book that might bring in a ton of money for everyone if done right.

I'd tell you that I love Boston and think it's a great city, but as a New Yorker (okay, I technically live in NJ, but it's practically the same thing), I'm obligated by law to never say anything nice about the city. I am glad the pub conjured up that vibe, though. I've never been to England, so I had to rely more on NEW England landmarks to round out the details.

You're right about Rose's family. All of them will end up playing a role in the story. The idea of Ron finding out his daughter is dating Krum was definitely one of the early mental images in my head when casting the story.

Thanks for this amazing review. I feel like this was really the last of the introduction chapters, so if you end up reading more, I'll be interested to see if feel the pace picks up going forward. Thanks again!


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Review #4, by Jchrissy 

8th August 2012:
I love the way you handled Brooks. I really got such a great hold of his character, and the way you showed his human side coming into play, his desperation to help this man, was excellent. I love also that you've already given us insight onto Krum - if he was kind enough that years later Brooks wants to help him, there must be some good parts to him.

I love your imagery relating to the bar, and really like that you put so much detail into her apparation. I always find myself getting annoyed when we know a character lives in a muggle area, and is apparating left and right, so the fact that you paid attention to those things really made me happy.

And here is Krum! Squeal!!! Great way to end this chapter! This entire one was fascinating and seemed to work a lot at putting the wheels into motion!

Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! There is a lot of good in Krum. I'm so glad you picked up on that bit. Brooks caring for Krum really is the reason the book idea even exists.

It's so funny you mentioned the Apparation bit because I'm actually finding it HARD to incorporate all the magical elements that go along with writing about Rose. I keep just wanting her to walk or drive somewhere but I know that won't make sense. I am trying to make it as realistic in HP canon as possible though so I'm really glad that detail hit the mark.

Thank you again for the review. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply.


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Review #5, by Cirque Du Freak 

22nd July 2012:
Right, so I was going to do more CC, but really I couldn't find all that much and its only very few things again - some commas out of place and the odd word missing a letter (relieved, by the way :P) but other than I didn't find anything else although I have been doing all these reviews continuously so it is possible that I missed a few bits, but I'll let you know if I find anything else the next time I re-read them!

So this was an absolute fabulous chapter that was full of surprises! Step-fathers and lawyering and all that good stuff and in a ~spoiler~ Muggle pub, too! This was definitely a most informative chapter that was actually really interesting to read to see the events that happened in Krum's life after his accident. I really like that you developed his character so well and I have no doubt that you'll continue to prove from his character in the coming chapters that you pretty much know him inside out!

I'm still feeling intrigued about this mystery that is Viktor Krum, because he's changed and alterred so much over the years and, actually, its a good example of how everyone who goes up high in their bubble - if that bubble pops then they've got a really long way to fall and you've shown that fall he did. I think that a lot of Next Gen stories have this thing where everything's perfect because, you know, there's no war - but really things are just the same. People climb up the metaphorical ladder of success and they get all the way up to the top of the cliff they don't always have a parachute to help them out when they trip up and fall off.

Honestly I can't wait to see this story bloom and expand in all such lovely ways, because it has honestly become one of my favourites! I could sit and gush all day about it, but I'll save a bit more gushing for the next chapter!

Hannah
xxx

Author's Response: Thank you again, Hannah. I can't believe how lucky I've been getting all these wonderful reviews from you.

I'm so glad you're already enjoying Krum. I do feel like I know him even better than Rose, having spent the time thinking out his back story. It's fun writing an older character who actually has some history behind him. It makes him all the more interesting to explore.

And it's true what you said about perfection in Next-Gen stories. It hadn't occurred to me before, but it is often the case. Or the only problems the characters seem to be facing are repercussions from the war. Those sorts of things are likely true to form but having survived Voldemort isn't the only thing that can cause a person to break.

I'm so glad there seemed to be less typos/errors this time around. I just went through and did a second look myself. I spotted a couple but hopefully that was the extent of them. At least, perhaps, they weren't so glaring this time.

Thank you again and again and again!


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Review #6, by maskedmuggle 

14th July 2012:
So many feelings right now! :) I really do love this story! It's just so exciting and intriguing, but I don't like all the mini cliffhangers you're leaving me on! :P It was fine before when the next chapter was already up but now I have to wait before I find out why the reclusive Viktor is whispering in Rose's ear!

The explanation of Krum's situation was great! It was really good to get the facts of his life right now, and it was another little surprise to find out that Mr. Brooks was his son (it actually makes lots of sense and builds up the realistic-ness of the plot). I seem to think like Rose: right after Peter explained Krum was broke, I wanted to ask how Krum managed to afford him as a lawyer anyway. So I loved it when Rose asked the same thing! The bar was great too - you add the perfect amount of description so that it allows me to imagine it all in my head really well, but not so much that it's too much.

But yeah, those last few lines! It's her red hair, isn't it! But still, it's fascinating that Krum would come up to her like that. And I can't wait for Rose's response and the ensuing chat they will surely have! Really enjoying this, really love the writing, and please, please update soon! ♥ :)

- MM

Author's Response: I'm terrible. I end all my chapters on mini cliffhangers. I don't know if I do it for the reader's benefit or my own. I kind of like that it leaves me knowing exactly where to pick up the next chapter, but I'm sorry it left you with FEELINGS :D

I have to admit, I didn't know Brooks was Krum's son until I wrote it. I realized the same thing as you: why are all these people trying to help out a broke man? And then there was the answer. Of course, now I have a whole second subplot swimming around in my brain. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. Hopefully good *fingers crossed*

I'm already writing away on chapter 5...and yes, her hair does come up at least once during their chat.

Thank you again and again. I really hope that if you read some future chapters, you continue to enjoy!


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