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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by x3CherryWatermelonx3 

26th January 2013:
I don't know what it is, but the love Severus has for Lily has always amazed me. Of course, it's a tragic love story since his feelings weren't returned and he never broke through them to find love elsewhere. I suppose that's what makes it somewhat, in a dark sense, beautiful.

As always though, I loved this chapter. From the beginning when Snape passed, I've loved how you've portrayed his character marvelously. Absolutely wonderful! :)

Author's Response: Severus's love for Lily has given birth to so many stories, it's unreal. In my eyes, his love was more of an obsession - he was in love with the idea of her. His unrequited love is the reason why Harry triumphed over Voldemort in the end. He was the unsung hero, but also the anti-hero, and everything about him is so complex that he will eternally be dividing readers as to how they feel about him.

I'm so delighted that you like my portrayal of him in this story. I did my best to keep him true to canon and JKR's wonderful characterization while exploring him a little further on my own.

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Review #2, by justonemorefic 

2nd January 2013:
I am always up for a bit of dark brooding with Snape. I loooved that he's seeing Harry in Lily and James than the other way around, and I feel him moving on veeery slowly (admitting is the first step), but it's there and I'm hopeful.

Also Salazar is the best unexpected comic relief: Slytherin had drawn bitter comparisons about them all, saying that James was Godric and Snape was Salazar, and Lily would do exactly what Rowena had done and choose the easiest option. YOU ARE SUCH A GOSSIPY HEN.

Ugh what breaks my heart is that Snape sounds vaguely deluded at times but knowingly so, Some people were hailing Severus as a hero, but he didnít feel like one. Even now, he would have taken all of it back Ė all of it Ė for the chance to run away from home when he was eight years old like heíd planned to do after his parents had had a huge fight and it's such a natural selfish desire I can't fault him.

the park ;A; perf, one word only: perf

Author's Response: Dark brooding Snape = the only kind of Snape. I should write an OOC Snape who prances around in delight, his greasy hair slicked back Grease-style. Also busting out into a musical in the Great Hall.

Salazar giving out advice. Salazar is so bored with his life that he appears every now and then in the village only to impart pearls of wisdom on the unsuspecting and bare his teeth at Rowena while silently crying. He is a drama queen.

SNAPE IS DELUDED, EVERYONE IS DELUDED. The ~island~ is a delusion. ~ ~ ~


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Review #3, by peppersweet 

7th September 2012:
Owwwh this was an interesting look into Severus' mind - Owwwh. Owwwh really is the only word for it. Owwwh so bitter, so pitiful, so sad - makes me ship Lily/James for a change, actually. Which is unusual (you know how I gravitate towards angst, and lily/sev is pure angst). I think you may have changed my mind completely there. Owwwh Sarah stop making me FEEL things ugh tHis story is so perfect ;A;

Author's Response: Severus is a black hole, man. I start writing him and suddenly I am at the bottom of a well. I MADE YOU FEEL, HOORAY! Also made you feel the Lily/James :3 I feel this is an accomplishment. I'm not super, super into Lily/James but I do not like Lily/Severus unless it's unrequited because of reasons. Y U SO ANGSTY, JOLOO.

I have responded to like thirty reviews today and I think I'm starting to melt. It's showing in my responses. I feel very bad for the people who have to read these.

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Review #4, by shadowycorner 

21st August 2012:
This chapter was mesmerizing. You really let us into Snape's head. It's so devastating to still see him so biased and blinded and hopeful. His hate towards Harry, fuelled by his hate for James just makes me angry all over again. I'm still siding with James and i hate Snape a little for blaming Lily's death on James when he was the one who blabbed out about the prophecy. Still, I realize all that is simply part of his character, which you're painting so well! The end got me scared a bit. I think I would die if James were to perish in the Duel and Snape would be with Lily. No matter what he did because of her, I still don't think they belong together. I'm just...on the edge here! These chapters are so emotional, all of them. We're seeing the characters, almost all of them, so vividly and naked and vulnerable. It's really an adventure reading this.

Author's Response: One of my favorite things about Severus is that despite how brilliant he is, he is so, so flawed. They say that the best way to lie believably is to believe the lie yourself. Since he was able to fool the Dark Lord, it makes sense that he's able to fool himself so well, too. Severus has a way of making me admire him, pity him, and hate him all at once. And if James were ever out of the picture, I think Lily might consider Severus but in the end it wouldn't work out. There's just too much of a gap between them now, and a heavy imbalance in their relationship because Severus will always be the one who always loved her and Lily will always be the one who originally chose another man instead. It makes me emotional to write it and feel all of these things for myself, so it's great to hear that this is translating onto the screen for you to feel, as well.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #5, by cazvalleygirl 

1st August 2012:
You really, really pulled on my heartstrings with this chapter lady! Poor Severus!

Snape has always been my favourite character and not just in the Harry Potter series but in all literature. He is such a complex character and an antihero and he has always been fascinating to me. So you can imagine my sheer delight when I realised all this chapter was dedicated to him.

Iím glad that Severus has developed a sense of self awareness. He realises his love for Lily is a sickness, an obsession yet he still believes he could have kept her alive, when in truth, it was he who sealed her fate. I donít think heís fully accepted that he played a vital part in her downfall because it would destroy him.

I wonder if his early yearsí witnessing his parentís abusive relationship has disillusioned his views on relationships. He seems to view Lily as this being who needs protecting, he blames James for everything.

Anyway I so loved this chapter and I so hope you write loads more of him! Pleassse? And please let him have his moment with Lily? Begged enough yet?

Yet again an amazing chapter, well done, Charlotte x

Author's Response: Hey, Charlotte!

Oh my goodness, yes. Severus. ♥ You're so right, he's the ultra antihero. It's been a slow realization for him here, coming to the stinging conclusion that the Lily in his mind isn't the Lily in the flesh, and he's not the same person he likes to think he is, either. He's so complex and intricate, so many facets of him - and I think that's what makes him so interesting for fan fic writers.

I promise you will see more of him. :)

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #6, by jellylegs2066 

18th July 2012:
I've always had mixed feelings about Snape. On the one hand, he was a horrendous bully who tormented Harry and many other children. On the other, he protected Harry through his love for Lily. I ship James/Lily with unrequited Severus/Lily on the side: Severus was, I feel, never truly destined to end up with Lily. They both went against what the other stood for, and thus it would never have worked out, however much Severus might wish it did.

"Together, with white and black promises from both Dumbledore and Voldemort, the two most powerful wizards in the world, Severus had felt secure in the light and the dark, in the pure and sinister, and thought that their entwined chains would be strong enough to hold Lily to earth." This line really stood out for me. It seems to encapsulate perfectly Severus' standing in the middle of everything, thinking it will keep him safe when in fact it did not. He forgets individual choice; that despite his best intentions and all the efforts of both Voldemort and Dumbledore, it is /Lily's/ choice what to do. Severus couldn't protect her, not if that wasn't what she wanted. The fact that Severus condemns James for not protecting her highlights why I think the relationship would not have succeeded. I read in a book somewhere, I can't remember which, of these two characters who both loved the same woman; one treated her like she would break in a moment and thus he needed to be careful with her, the other felt she was a strong individual, and it was her choice what she did, not his. This scenario really reminds me of that.

"If anyone just so happened to escape their strangling husbands for a few brief moments (he envisaged Lily hovering at her living room window, waiting for James to disappear so that she could go look for her dear friend Severus), then so be it." Oh Severus. I feel so sorry for him here, because he's clinging desperately to his hatred for James because he simply can't cope with the idea that it might be Lily who doesn't want to see him. He is trying desperately to see her, in the hopes that she will finally return his affections, yet she was hiding from him. It really highlights how he has placed her on a pedestal and can't believe she would do anything wrong; it has to be her "strangling" husband. It's just such a Snape thing to say.

Can't wait to read more,


Author's Response: I'm glad we share the same thoughts on Severus. :) I don't think he was destined to end up with Lily, either. He searched for excuses, for something to blame it on, but the fact remains that he was way too into the Dark Arts and James was just more charming, more enigmatic, more giving and more malleable. Severus could not have made Lily happy, I don't think. Whereas James lets her make her own decisions and respects her enough to trust her, Severus treats her like something fragile that doesn't have the capacity to think for itself.

Thank you so much for reading and for your reviews!

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Review #7, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

18th July 2012:
and it was Harry's fault, it was all Harry's fault for ever being born; and oh, it was such a relief to have someone else to blame. It was James's fault, too, for taking his beloved Lily away from him to create this vile, disgusting little spawn who was barely over a year old and already creating terror in the world

^ For some reason after reading this I have never despised James so much. And I love James. I also love Severus though and I feel like it's unfair that he never had anyone to love him or anyone to help him out or at least another moment with Lily before she had died, one that could have kept them on good terms and maybe made Severus a little less mean and a little more friendly.

Wow. His feelings for her are just so much deeper than I could ever really understand. It really is a sickness. He's consumed by her and yet he knows that he can never have her. Never. Even if James was gone Lily would still have parts of him with her.

The park and the picture creeped me out. There was something about it that gave me goosebumps. I'm starting to think that Clidona's (I totally spelled that wrong) isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's as if the place is trying to toy with their emotions...it's as if the environment is trying to make them go mad...

Is that what you're hinting at? Hm.sneaky...sneaky...

Author's Response: Hahaha, you had the opposite reaction of most! A lot of people who read this chapter absolutely hated Severus, but Severus managed to make you see it from his angle. I agree, it would've been so much kinder if he could've been on better terms with Lily before her death. If that would have happened, he might not have spent the rest of his life pining over someone he could never have.

You're on the right track about Cliodna's Clock. ;) Keep your eyes peeled for more things that are not what they seem.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #8, by NaidatheRavenclaw 

18th July 2012:
I'm using the House Cup to catch up on all my favorite stories so YAY. I'm finally here.

So this chapter was absolutely gorgeous. I was going to pick out my favorite lines for you but then I ended up pasting every other paragraph...oops. In any case, the entire thing is just written so beautifully. And it takes a lot to give me a fresh perspective on Snape, but you've done it here. He's both the tragic hero I love and the twisted bully I hate. You've captured every side to him, including his twisted motives and reasoning and you haven't tried to hide the bad to make him into a hero, as so many other stories do. So this is by far one of my favorite and one of the most accurate depictions of him. And the writing omg. It gets better every chapter. The descriptions in this, the emotions. Just wow. I honestly couldn't describe it any other way.

And the end bit! Ahhh! You tied it back in to the story so perfectly after a minor deviation and I'm left thinking "WHAT". What is with this place?! Nothing makes sense anymore :P



Author's Response: HI, NAIDA!! ♥ So thrilled to see you back!

I love writing Snape! I think that the best part about him is that he isn't so easily defined - like you said, he's both the tragic hero and the twisted bully, and that's a fine line to walk without glorifying or focusing solely on one or the other. The end bit ties back to the greater plot at hand, but in a confusing, what the heck sort of way. :P SERIOUSLY, NOTHING ABOUT THIS PLACE MAKES SENSE.

Eee races! :D Thank you for reading!

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Review #9, by Jess the Enthusiast 

11th July 2012:
You're amazing, you know that? You wrote Severus perfectly; I mean, as an intense James/Lily shipper, I was pretty much seething while reading this, but it was all correct. This is what the mind of Severus Snape looks like. He's so unforgiving when it comes to James and quite delusional when it comes to Lily. I just find it interesting how he views James and Lily's relationship as controlling with no communication between husband and wife; perhaps it's because his parents' marriage was not a happy one and that's all he knows. I mean, Lily is not seeking him out, but to him, he can't even imagine that it's because she doesn't want to; /clearly/ James is preventing her from doing so. And the way you mentioned James "letting" her enter the Devil's Duel year after year reminded me of something in the Prince's Tale: Snape mentioned something to Lily about not "letting" her do something (I think it was be around James) and she was really mad that he said that. I don't think Snape understands that love is allowing your love or spouse to be themselves and make their own decisions and supporting them.
I'm not going to get too much into it, because otherwise this review will be a rambling about why James is perfect for Lily and why Snape should view things clearly rather than the lies he has been feeding himself all these years.
But absolutely amazing chapter! I think you wrote him perfectly :)


~Jess :D

Author's Response: Eee, Jess, your reviews. ♥ They're going to give me such a big head.

I could rave forever about my love for delving into Severus Snape's head. I like seeing everyone through his eyes, and seeing him through everyone else's eyes, and comparing all of the perceptions - some of them brilliantly accurate and some of them sadly distorted. Snape's a character that inspires a lot of hate and love and mixed feelings. I think that's one of my favorite things about him, actually; he's not easy to categorize. He's not completely good and he's not completely bad, and is entirely composed of shades of gray, I think. He's just a fascinating character. I'm so pleased you saw parallels in Snape's overbearing thoughts about James "letting" Lily enter the duel and Snape telling Lily long ago, "No! I won't let you!" or whatever it was he'd said. He doesn't realize that James won't force Lily to do what he wants her to do, whether that be avoiding the Duel or avoiding Snape. Lily does what she wants. It's a reality Snape's not ready to accept just yet because it means that Lily is willingly and purposefully avoiding him.

James is indeed perfect for Lily. :)

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Review #10, by Ardeith 

9th July 2012:
What a deep analysis of the Snape/Lily/James love triangle! I like how Snape was so angry that James hadn't protected Lily both in life and in Cliodna's Clock. I think this gets to the heart of why Snape wasn't the One for Lily. I can just imagine your Lily (and the Lily I envision from canon, too) saying "no one tells me what to do, whether I can enter the Duel or not!"

There are a lot of great lines, here's one:

"He had been the last to kiss her goodbye, which was a secret he treasured, knowing that in a twisted sort of way, heíd gotten her in the end, after all."

Oh, and another, the whole section that starts:

"Harry didnít resemble James nearly as much as James resembled Harry..."

But while this chapter could be a wonderful little "Snape thinks..." one shot, what intrigued me the most, is the last bit where Snape finds himself in his childhood playground. I think there's a peek into the Cliodna's Clock mystery there, though I don't know what to make of it!

Author's Response: Haha, I can imagine Lily saying that, too! Lily does not appreciate being bossed. :P I like getting inside the mind of Severus Snape. A lot of people don't like him, it seems, because of his more negative qualities; but I think that just makes his characterization richer. It's easy to like someone like James, who died a hero, who was charming and good-looking and fought for the Order. It's not so easy to like Severus because sometimes it's hard to see where he stands. I just really love all of the aspects of his character, and find him fascinating to write about.

Bahaha, this really could be a one-shot, couldn't it? Very monologue-y. And the last bit, with the playground, is a way of circling back to the plot. Things will get progressively more clear on that front as the story continues. For now, mystery ahoy! ~

:D Thank you for reading and reviewing.

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Review #11, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

6th July 2012:
Wow I think this was one of my favourite chapters! The way you write Snape never fails to amaze me! Keep up the fantastic work! :)

Author's Response: Yay! I was sort of nervous about this chapter because it didn't do much to progress the plot (there is one hidden in the story somewhere, I promise). Or at least, it doesn't seem like it does much to progress the plot.

Snape is one of my favorites, so that's very rewarding to hear. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review, Rumbleroar!


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Review #12, by TenthWeasley 

5th July 2012:
You are a soul-ripper. That is literally the word that kept buzzing about in my brain in regards to you while reading this chapter, because it's pretty much like you were thinking and went WHAT IS THE BEST WAY I CAN STOMP RACHEL'S HEART INTO MUSH. And then this happened. (I shall be vain enough to think so, at least. ♥) And so I shall now list, for your review-reading pleasure, the two things in this chapter that just made my heart ache in the most literal of terms:

And when heíd tilted her back, just a little bit and completely by accident, her eyelids had fluttered halfway closed like a porcelain dollís might. -- That is adlfhdsfjg the eeriest thing I can remember reading in a long, long time, and you'll remember I beta'd a voodoo fic before. And you know that I'm massively freaked out by the idea of people becoming dolls and vice versa, or at least, I feel like I've told you before. BUT ANYWAY. I literally had to walk downstairs and grab a glass of water for a bit of a cool-down upon reading that because it haunted me that much. And yet it's such a fitting description, and I'm just sitting here in awe at how apt of a comparison that is, comparing dead eyes to doll's eyes. Holy crap. Okay, I'm legitimately scaring myself again, please stop being so brilliant and nearly making me pee myself.

Her posture. In her expression of surprise or worry. In the way their arms swung at their sides. Their gaits. James was in Harry, who was in Lily, who had begun to adopt Jamesís mannerisms, and theyíd become such a warped mirage of monsters in Severusís head that it was tiresome to try to extricate one from the other. -- THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. ♥ Never before in the history of ever has the James/Lily/Harry/Snape/whatever analysis been so accurately described. Calling this right now. And I love that you put more of Lily into Harry than just the eyes, because of course Snape would have memorized Lily so thoroughly as to notice the less-obvious things like the expressions and swinging of her arms. It's almost disturbing to think about, but it's so accurate, and that's one of the best things about this chapter -- you held nothing back. (Brace yourself, I'm about to repeat something I know I've said time and again.) So many times people who appreciate Snape's character tend to gloss over the nastier aspects to sort of glorify him. And yes, he was a hero; yes, he was a great wizard. But I have so much appreciation for people like you, who can differentiate between his two personalities and have no problem showing the uglier side of things. He's not a likable man here, not by far. He's selfish and bitter and greedy and rude, and I know that if this was who he always was, I'd never come to have the intense appreciation for Snape that I possess now. But behind it all you paint with sympathy, however slight, and that's why I love the way you write him so much.

This was so fantastic. SO fantastic, and my eager eyes could not devour this chapter fast enough. The bit at the end with the childhood park made my throat swell with emotions, and I'm not sure if the late hour is a contributing factor, but you made it happen regardless. And now I don't want to wait until next Wednesday for an update! D: So what I'm trying to say is, update immediately on time, as always. That works.


SORREH ABOUT THE DOLL EYES THING. XD And I'm evil enough to steeple my hands and plot ways to insert dolls-turning-into-humans and vice versa in later chapters just to sneak attack you, but of course I won't because that would be r00d. Although it makes me want to write a very short OF about that sort of thing because lately I keep writing about stuff that freaks me out. I might be a masochist. Seriously, what is wrong with me.

I feel so sorry for Severus here because he can't think of Lily in the same way he used to be able to. James is in the way because Lily and James are irrevocably twisted up together with Harry entwining around them, and it's a threesome that Severus cannot be a part of. He is the fourth wheel, the onlooker. He'll never be on the inside of that looking out, and he's starting to realize it. Maybe a very long time ago, when Lily Potter was still Lily Evans, he could have had a chance, but it's passed.

I love Snape, and I think it would be doing him a terrible injustice to make him happy, upbeat, sappy, and forgiving all the time. He's so complex and I love it, and for all of his brilliance and bravery and other amazing qualities, he's still nursing delusions. He still has those old prejudices. The thing about Snape, though, is that I feel like he has the power to overcome those years and years of pining. He doesn't have to stew in pain forever if he doesn't want to; he just has to make the conscious decision to stop wanting it.

♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #13, by WitnesstoitAll 

4th July 2012:
Holy wow.

I really don't know what to say except, aljfaoiwejfwoiejfweijf. I have always had my mostly abstract thoughts about snape, but have never been able to form them into anything coherent and then this. THIS. WAS. AMAZING. You have given such depth to Snape's character in this chapter and it was so interesting to read the world through his eyes. He really thinks he knows Lily so well, but he lives in such a facade of the world. And the play ground, oh my. How haunting -- I can't wait to see what happens there (a snily meeting, perhaps?) This world that you've created never continues to completely astound me!

I think my favorite thing about this chapter was the bit of description about Lily in her grave in her white gown. Of course I know that all of these characters are dead, but it had never really hit home that their bodies are all buried somewhere on earth. I don't know why that struck me so powerfully, but it did.

anyway, this was another lovely chapter and I very much look forward to the next race!! :)

Author's Response: MELLL ♥

Can you tell that I ship Lily with James? :3 Severus, imo, belongs with Beth Bridger and that's just the way it is, so of course I'm not going to allow him to understand Lily as much as he thinks he does. He's got a very skewed perception of her, and of James as well.

The playground! You will see more about that later. :3

OMG I KNOW. I never gave a second thought about Lily and James and all the fallen witches and wizards actually being /dead/ until Deathly Hallows when Harry was in Godric's Hollow and thinking about how they would be surely bones by now, or dust, and how he halfway wished he could be down there with them. That struck me so much and I wanted to crawl into the story and hug poor Harry. And then when I read Missy's one-shot not too long ago before preparing to write this chapter, I was all OH, THEY MUST HAVE ALSO HAD A FUNERAL. Never even thought about what their funeral would have been like.

Pssst. The next chapter is Round Three. :D

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