Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mariano_Pingitore 

7th October 2014:
Wow... What a great battle, flawless work!

Author's Response: Hi!

I really enjoy writing battle scenes, so I'm especially happy that you thought it was good.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #2, by caapotter 

30th June 2014:
Once again I finished reading with lots and lots of tears in my eyes. First you take Ginny away from us, then I was starting to ease up to Esme and you take her too, Rose is f*cked up and now Neville.
If your writing and your story weren't so damn good I would probably have given up by now. But congrats anyways with your geniality of this story! Caa xx

Author's Response: Hi, there.

I have to admit, this chapter wasn't much fun to write. OK, that's not completely true. The fight scene and the part where the kids take down Professor Tennant were actually a lot of fun. But the ending, not so much. I'll just have to beg your patience. Everything happens for a reason.

I'm glad that you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Felicia 

15th February 2014:
I've been a silent reader until now, since it's been a while since this story was posted and I don't know if you still read reviews, but I have to say that I absolutely love it. So much brilliance, from the start (Harry talking to Ginny's grave, and at the same time telling the reader what the settings are), to the dialogue, different POVs, Hermione's change under the influence of dark magic, everything.

A lot of your characters seem to fill the same role as a canon character. Lady Tebabra/Lord Voldemort (anagrams, similar styles, even though Tebabra is more manipulation where Voldemort is more brute force), Gamp/Bellatrix (cruel and crazy), Rose/Frank and Alice (slowly breaking under the Cruciatus curse), Portia/Luna and so on. But that's not a bad thing, not at all! They are good roles to play.

I love the characters Susan, Esme and Octavia, but as much as I hated to see Esme die, I understand how it was probably necessary. A widower falling in love and embracing it in a world where souls can meet in the afterlife might get a bit too complicated, in a way that maybe wouldn't fit in here.

I wonder, too, if Tenabra is really the villain, or if it's Herodonthos (or whatever his name is) acting through her, transfering part of his self into her, from the book. (I also wonder if the "dragon" Heermione fought was him, or if that was another manifestation of dark magic willing to stay alive.) But I presume that will all be explained before the story is over.

As for this chapter, and Neville... The first thought to hit me was that he seemed to be a bit out of character. Neville in the books is not a duellist, despite his time in DA and his part in the battle of Hogwarts. He's brave and he has a good heart, but he's clumsy and forgetful and his magic is not strong. He finds his place in herbology, and moves on to teaching and, in this story, becoming a headmaster. It is, of course, possible that he learned over the years, but I have a hard time seeing how or where. It's not like he went through auror training or anything.

I can live with it, though. Neville deserves the glory. He deserves to fight a righteous fight, and die protecting the students. It's worthy, and it's beautiful, even though it's also very sad.

That will be all for now. If you're still reading this, thanks for an amazing story!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Yes, I do still read reviews and I cherish every one. Especially the detailed, thoughtful ones. ;) So I'm glad that you decided to exit "silent reader mode".

Thank you so much for all of the compliments. This was my first attempt at writing anything of this length and it was a labor of love from the beginning. I loved the Harry Potter books so much and I started reading fan fiction after I finished Deathly Hallows, looking for something to fill the void. I realized that I had never seen anything set in this time period that focused mostly on the canon characters, so the wheels in my head starting spinning.

I'm sure there are a lot of parallels between the roles certain characters play in this story and the roles played in the books. They were the inspiration, after all. I'll take that as a compliment.

Susan and Octavia became two of my favorite characters as I made my way through the writing process. They were always scene-stealers when they appeared. I tried very, very hard to think of some way that Esme could survive, but none of them were satisfying. Some things are sad -- like Remus and Tonks dying during the final battle, for instance -- but they simply have to be for the story to end the way you want it to.

You'll find out in the end who the "real villain" is. Tenabra is a very complicated character, and she'll only get more so.

A lot of what I think about how Neville turned out was shaped by stories like Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness. I felt like he had to become a much more formidable wizard if he was able to survive life under the Carrows and actually lead the resistance inside Hogwarts. I can definitely see your point, though. And I definitely felt like he deserved a glorious death.

Your review really made my day! Thanks so much!


 Report Review

Review #4, by Nicole Swift 

22nd December 2013:
:-( so sad. Tears in my eyes.

Author's Response: I'm sorry. I hate to make anyone cry. I'm pleased that the story had such an impact, though.

Thanks for letting me know!


 Report Review

Review #5, by APerkins 

30th October 2013:
Hmmm now I am wondering whether it mattered where they throw the sword in this story.
anyway. I was pleased to see Northway taking part in the action. And the good guys having some victories. I kinda liked having Harry hanging there, helplessly waiting for tennant. I kinda liked seeing the really really nasty side of tennant too before he died ( I know Im doing it again. Reviewing the wrong chapter in the wrong review box. Keep life interesting.)
I think you do action scenes quite well. the whole thing is great. Im runnign out of flattering words.
Just really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Throwing the sword away was definitely a short-term strategy, but Tenabra doesn't know that yet. Shhh!

Something kind of big happened for Dennis in this chapter. He finally got angry. Not angry for a bad reason, but angry about the bad things he sees happening around him and angry at the bad people who are making them happen. Throughout the story, Dennis has been a sort of metaphor for the rest of wizarding society. Just as he's waking up to the need to take more responsibility for the world he lives in, so is the rest of society getting tired of the Blood Order and the Minister's attempts to appease them.

Tennant isn't actually dead. Just stunned. Aggressively.

I'm glad you like the action scenes. They're always my favorites to write!

Thanks!
-Dan


 Report Review

Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

11th February 2013:
Oh... N-N-Neville. I'm not sure what else to say. Shock and sadness does not begin to describe how I'm feeling. But this - I only ask that you let me finish the story before you pass final judgment. Everything happens for a reason. - has me not breaking down and shutting off HPFF for a bit, but continuing to read. Yeah. I'm just gonna... Oh, Neville. And he was smiling as he died. I suppose I can take some comfort in that. ;(

Tennant needs to get what's coming to him. To threaten Harry and leave him to be killed? I'm so glad the kids came when they did. And that it was Dennis who knocked him out; after he was being chased by Tennant sending curses his way, he really did deserve to knock him out.

I can't wait for Harry to get Tenabra and end this war!

Such a sad, but still brilliant, chapter.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi.

Once again, I'm so sorry for springing something so ugly on you. Neville's death was another very difficult decision that I had to make to get the story to where I needed it to be. It wasn't fun and I agonized over it. You can ask my beta reader all about it. So knowing that it had to be that way, I tried to give him the bravest, most noble death I could. Nothing seemed more appropriate to me than letting him give up his life to save a group of terrified children. It's so like him.

Tennant will be dealt with in good time. Don't fret over it.

The end is coming very soon. Sorry for the tears, but I'm really glad that the story made such an impact. Thanks for sharing it with me!


 Report Review

Review #7, by Elenia 

5th August 2012:
I'm starting to think you secretly enjoy making people cry.

Urgh, what a chapter once again. You certainly know how to make them intense!

Phew, so many things happened in the beginning of this chapter! It was fast paced and there POV changed quite a few times, but I think it really worked for this chapter!

"Looking at them like they're already dead. It's the surest way to make it happen."
^Loved that. Way to go, Ron. We've had enough of gloomy Harry d: He really should take an example of Seamus!

It's funny how easy it is to actually break into Hogwarts. All you need is a house-elf, but nobody seems to think about that. Let's hope that none of the future evil dark wizards realise how useful the little creatures actually are.

I'm glad they found Professor Astor! I was starting to worry how long she had to stay there before somebody found her.

But how did Harry know that the Hospital wing was safe and there were no Blood Order members there? Or did he just think they wouldn't be a threat to her since she's a member of the School staff? Or maybe I just missed some vital information about that? I wondered about that, so I thought I should point it out (:

Oh, and I loved how Dumbledore's portrait reminded Harry about the Sorting hat. That was a nice touch ^^

Yey for Peeves making another appearance! I love Peeves! And bashful Nick was just priceless!

"But it's just too dangerous. You're not ready for this yet."
^Haha, love the irony of this sentence. Oh Harry, remember how frustrated you were when they told you the same thing d: Didn't you learn anything?

Remind me to ask help from you when I want to use Peeves in my stories and I need to come up with rhymes for him d:

Haha, I bet Harry is quite happy that his grandson is a lot like him. Stubborn and brave those Potters, aren't they? Luckily it seems to be an advantage for them ^^

Anyways, I enjoyed everything that happened before the last scene. This probably would've been one of my favourites, if one could cut the ending out. All those action filled scenes just suck me right in, it really feels like I'm in the same room with them! But then you go and pull the rug from under my feet! Again, just when I least expect it! I mean come on! Neville? Why did it have to be Neville? Couldn't it be anyone else, like... like... okay, you'd be having this same complaint chorus, no matter who you killed, so I guess I should just shut up, right? Unless you start only killing the bad guys, that I won't mind at all.

Urgh, let's see if there was anything else I can remember from that scene d:

Oh who am I kidding? The whole scene was brilliant (if you ignore the last paragraphs) probably the best fighting scene I have ever read! It was just wonderful!

I did have the feeling that someone was going to get hurt badly during it, but I would've never guessed it was Neville since it was from his POV.

*sniff* Why, Dan, why?

I'm so pathetic, aren't I? I know I am, no need to deny it (x

But I have to admit though, it was a really noble way to go, so at least I'm glad about that.

Urgh, I have no words left. I will rant about this when I'm able to form coherent sentences again d: I'm surprised I managed to write this much now!

Now you'll have to excuse me while I go weep some more for Neville. I'll see you again once I'm able to continue reading d:

Take care!

~E

Author's Response: So I feel badly, dear. Really, I do. I'm always torn where good friends like you are concerned. Do I warn you and ruin the suspense? Do I not warn you and risk making you cry? I never know quite what to do in these situations. I guess the obvious answer is, "stop writing things that might make Elenia cry, and then it won't be a problem." I'll keep that in mind for future stories.

Ron is definitely getting a bad vibe from Harry by this point in the story. Harry has just suffered such a huge loss and now they're about to go into yet another very dangerous situation. Harry's seeing tombstones wherever he looks. And if you think it's bad now... well, see what his mindset is like in the next chapter...

You know, you have a great point there. With a house elf, it's actually quite easy to break into *anywhere*. Of course, even if they didn't have Hermys, Neville has already shown that the Headmaster is able to do some things that other witches and wizards cannot at Hogwarts. Suffice it to say they would have gotten in even without Hermys. He just made things easier.

I'll tell you a secret. I forgot about poor Professor Astor in my first draft. She can thank my beta reader for her rescue.

How did Harry know that the Hospital Wing was safe? Well, um... I guess my "official" answer is that Hermys had lots of advance intelligence from the House Elves. The honest answer is, hey, who attacks a hospital?

Peeves and Nick are a great one-two act, aren't they? I have enjoyed every second of writing the ghosts.

Yes, Harry has both the blessing and the curse of having a family full of descendants with a similar mental make-up. It ended well in this case, but you're right, it could just have easily gone terribly, tragically wrong.

I hated to do this to you. That's the first thing I have to say about poor Neville. I hated to do this to you, I hated to do it to my other readers and mostly I hated to do it to Neville. Again, mostly all I can say for myself is that the story has always been meant to end a certain way, and that requires decisions to be made. I tried as hard as I could to give Neville the kind of death he deserved: brave, noble, glorious and selfless. He died the way he lived.

Feel free to PM me and rant as much as you'd like to. I probably deserve it.

Thanks so much for all of your wonderful, thoughtful, emotional and all-around awesome reviews!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Pixileanin 

15th July 2012:
"I'm a sentimental man," Seamus suddenly blurted out, "and I doní wanna be cryin' over none of you today. So be careful!"

I so much prefer this. Such a great contrast to Harry's brooding. Thank you! But it had to be said. They're going into dangerous territory and the potential for disaster is high.

I love how you add details to the scenes like Harry grabbing the Sorting Hat before he leaves the Headmaster's office. You must have an awful lot of foresight to set things up from scene to scene to scene. My imagination is trying to figure out when and how (and if) we'll be seeing that hat again.

The news about what's going down in the Great Hall is quite disturbing, but at the same time, I was relieved that Professor Astor was taken care of. You've had so many things happen in the last few chapters that I had completely forgotten about her stuffed in that closet.

"One cannot slay a man with fresh produce and kippers." The Bloody Baron has a good idea. And those were some particularly well-turned insults. The ghosts were really fun to read. You gave them some great lines!

I loved the moment when Dennis gets courage. I think he gets what is happening and is ready to step up. I was going to be angry with Harry for locking up the young people in the Headmaster's office, but fortunately, they figured things out for themselves and saved him.

You finally gave Tennant his moment to gloat over Harry. That must have been so gratifying for him. It was almost funny though, because you couldn't possibly have him prevail over Harry Potter and his family. Not now, when they are so close! I read that whole scene while waiting for him to get smacked.

I tell you what; I would be one lousy wand duelist, what with having to remember the names of spells every time I had to cast one. I wonder how wizards train for the obvious reflexive actions they have to develop. You did a great job with the crazy in the halls and then in the Great Hall. The action was just superb here. It's so hard to track all the movements and portray them in a believable way while keeping the reader inside the scene. You kept everyone moving while raising the stakes to an unbelievably high level. Really well done!

And then Neville is gone! *shakes fist* For shame! I know, it's war. You just had to make everyone *feel* the loss, didn't you? But this can't possibly be the final showdown, because it's at Hogwarts for goodness' sake - and Tenabra hasn't shown up and there are more pieces that need fitting.

It's a good thing I'm several chapters behind. That way I don't have to wait to see what's going on next. :)

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Yes, I'm afraid that Neville finally meets his end in this chapter. It was a tough decision to make, and I still feel kind of strange about it. I read one of Deeds's awesome stories about Neville and Hannah, for instance, and I think, "Oh, no, I just killed him!" But in the end, there was no way I could have it any other way and still have the story end where I've planned it to end all along. So I tried to give him the most noble, heroic, meaningful death I could.

I'm glad you liked Seamus's little outburst. Sometimes I have to do things to cut through Harry's broody-moody-depressing point of view.

You're the first reviewer to express any concern for Professor Astor. So, yes, she did end up safely in the hospital wing.

I've really enjoyed including the house ghosts and Peeves in the story. The world of Hogwarts is so rich. There's no way that JKR could have given every interesting character their due without every book being 1,000 pages long. So I've tried hard to pick a few of the more neglected ones and shine a light on them.

As I've said from the beginning, Dennis is symbolic of the larger wizarding world. And he's finally waking up and taking an emotional stake in the future of his world. It's a big moment for him.

I really wanted to smack Tennant so much harder, but I couldn't find a way to make it fit naturally into the plot. So I had to settle for Dennis inflicting his first "emotionally charged" stunner on the man. In a way, I bet that being taken out by a student whose defensive skills he views as sub-par actually hurts him more than being brutally defeated by a more accomplished opponent.

One of the best things about writing Harry and the others at this age -- and believe me, there aren't many -- is that I can just assume that they're all experienced and powerful enough to cast a lot of their spells non-verbally. Otherwise, it would be a lot harder to write all of the dialog. I'm glad you were able to follow most of the action inside the Great Hall. Between you and me: I drew a map to keep track of where everybody was so that I wouldn't mess up any of the directions in my descriptions. High praise to the Lexicon, for giving me a great map of the entrance hall and the Great Hall to start from.

So now we're back to Neville being gone. I would feel sort of bad if readers *didn't* feel the loss. I think he deserved no less.

You'll see Tenabra again very soon, so don't worry about her. The next chapter is... well, it's pretty heavy. Harry finally lets go of all the grief and anger he's been carrying around and it's something to behold.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and reactions with me!


 Report Review

Review #9, by CloakAuror9 

10th July 2012:
I finally get to write this freaking review. Do you know how much time I've spent plotting and constructing this review while I didn't have my internet? I had so many scenarios planned in my head, one of them included too much blood and I figured I might get in jail for that so I chose not to go with that plan.

Let's get this thing over and done with.

Dan, how dare you kill Neville Longbottom off?! I am not happy about this, the fact that he died in such a noble way only compensates for just a tiny bit. I'm sure that you know what betas do, and if you get a beta, you listen to the beta. If they tell you to not kill Neville Longbottom, you do not kill Neville -even if it means re-writing the rest of the story plot.

I refuse to trust you any longer, Esme's death then Neville? This story should have a warning that says 'This author kills characters off, that you'll probably love'.

(Rant Over)

Seriously though! Stop killing good characters off!

(Rant really over now)

I'm quite surprised I managed to write that rant without using BIG BLOCKS OF LETTERS. xD (Too much sugar!)

So, I thought the rest of the story is really good. I really missed reading your story while my internet was gone. I read this chapter three times, now first time I read it at school because I couldn't put it off and hell did I regret that decision. I was crying in front of the screen like a right lunatic and the librarian thought I was suicidal. Not cool.

I love how you manage to be in so canon with all the characters. Harry hasn't changed one single bit, despite his denials I seriously think that he is a hero (along with so many other characters of course). I have a very very very amazing feeling about Neville's dying wish. Harry tends to escalate things when his friends die; he's so loyal to his friends its mind-blowing in a way.

I am so so behind your story! I promise to catch up, you don't even need to request on my thread (because its locked) (Great compromise, huh?) :P

Anywho, I know you already know this, but I love love love this story so much. Are you sure you really want to finish this story? ;)

Ta,
Izzy xx

Author's Response: Izzy! So glad to have you back with us.

OK, OK, I knew this wasn't going to be your favorite chapter. At the same time, I'm glad that you left your pitchfork in the shed. I don't know what else to say, aside from the simple fact that for the story to end up where I've meant for it to end up all along, I had to make a lot of choices. Some of those choices haven't been fun to write, any more than they've been fun to read.

The case of Neville was particularly tragic, but try to imagine Neville going on as headmaster with The Harry Potter looming over his shoulder as DADA professor. Not very fulfilling, is it? So I decided that I would give Neville the most noble, brave and purposeful death that I could imagine. He deserved no less.

OK, beyond that, I sincerely apologize for forcing you to have to mend your reputation with the librarian. If you like, I'll be happy to send her a letter attesting to your healthy, stable mental condition. ;)

"Escalate" may not be a strong enough word for what happens in the next chapter. You'll see soon, but Neville's death -- along with Esme, Ginny and all of the others who died in the first war -- has a profound affect on Harry, pushing him into a pretty dark place. His last promise to Neville definitely comes into play, though.

You're not so far behind. Only two posted chapters. And they're both pretty short, by my standards, anyway.

That is a great compromise! To be honest, I do really want to finish this story. It's been an amazing journey, and I've had a lot of fun, but I'm at a stage now where I feel so much pressure to... well, basically not to screw it up. CoB has been one of the biggest defining things about the last year of my life. It just feels like it's time.

By the way, this was the 600th review for CoB, and I couldn't be happier about the fact that it was you who wrote it. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful, encouraging, vocal (even about the things you didn't like) and enthusiastic reader! It means the world to me.


 Report Review

Review #10, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

9th July 2012:
I'm finally back to read this chapter! Woo-hoo! I feel like it has been forever. I have thirty-five minutes, do you think I can do this?

Let the countdown...begin!

I'm afraid some members of Slytherin House are participating enthusiastically in the process

^ The bad news just doesn't end, does it? I feel like nothing good will come out of this battle. They don't even have the sword. They'd either have to start a fire, which would mean danger or get the fang of a basilisk.

Do they have a basilisk fang around?

a tattered, old leather hat sat on a shelf in the corner.

^ Why do I forget that? Ignore everything I said. Seriously. My brain is off today.

I am challenging your manhood!

^ You just want to kill everyone, don't you? Oh Sir Nick. I can't...funny...yes...safe? No. The smartest plan? I think not.

He peeked around it just in time to see Professor Longbottom take down the other Blood Order wizard as Harry Potter jogged toward him.

^ YES! When I was reading what came before that, Dennis not really doing anything but just standing there in shock I was surprised but now I'm not. I expected him to be able to fight back but why would he be able to? Yes, he's a smart boy and he has to be prepared if he wants to fight but this generation has never had to see war or fight like Harry's generation had to. Now that I think about it I think I would have been a little let down if he had been able to fight and react quickly. Hesitated could of course get him killed and I quite like his character.

"Even great and powerful wizards need help sometimes," Dennis interjected. "Somebody to watch their backs for them."

^ I'm experiencing that moment I had all those years ago when Sirius dies. The tears are in my eyes and they're ready to fall because they're just throwing themselves recklessly in danger. I know they want to help. Their intentions are good but I also know, I can feel it that something terrible is going to happen.

Imagine the distraction. Someone, Harry, Neville, Ron, will see them and there's going to be that moment. Everything is going to stand still and someone is going to fall.

"Hogwarts, Harry. Promise me you'll take care of her."

I don't like you very much right now Dan. I really don.t. How could you...how could you kill Neville?

Granted you gave him the perfect fight scene and sent him off fighting but...Neville? Not Neville.

I have seven minutes left. That's not nearly enough time to get over the ending right now but I will power through the tears that are coming from my eyes and blurrying my vision.

I think this was my favorite chapter. It was action packed and exactly what I wanted for the next battle at Hogwarts. Is it as bad and as large as the first one? No. Is it as dramatic? No. But it fits this story because it wasn't just about the fighting. The fighting will continue into the next chapter, I know that. It was more about the family and the friendships to me more than anything. A really powerful image I got was when Draco, Angelina, George and everyone elses rushes into the fight and everything starts to just let loose. So much has changed to have Draco fighting on their side.

I could see it happening. I could feel the emotion in the end of the chapter. I could feel the emotion when the children commanded Hermys to bring them to the fight. I was glad you didn't make him another Dobby. Yes, he wants to protect the family and his master but I think he is more afraid than anything. He doesn't know true darkness like the other house elves experienced, especially because his master is Harry Potter. If Harry tells Hermys to leave and to stay safe he's going to stay safe.

I wanted to say more but I've run out of time. Seriously, you're not letting down with this story. I don't think I was ever disappointed with a chapter.

I do have to ask what was going through your mind that you thought it was alright to kill Neville.

Honestly...listen to your beta!

I'll try to read the next chapters as soon as I can. Curse work!

- Deeds

Author's Response: Speed reviewing! It's a great game! And you are crazy good at it.

Sadly, the bad news never seems to stop coming in this chapter. As much as people have tried, we may never be able to completely eliminate pureblood fanaticism from Slytherin House. Must be something in the air in the dungeons.

I'm glad I was able to quickly recover from the apparent flaw you found in my plan for dealing with the book. ;)

Sir Nick sort of panicked and made a poor choice. He's a ghost, after all. He's in no danger. The others... not so much.

Dennis reaches a real turning point in this chapter. Suddenly, he realizes that failing to act and living in fear carries its own price. And he decides to do something. Fortunately his timing is just right so that the realization isn't his last.

Artie, Portia and Dennis do act more than a bit recklessly when they leave the safety of the Headmaster's office. In this case, it happens to work out favorably, but I can easily see the parallels to Harry, Ron, Hermione and the others storming off to "rescue" Sirius from the Department of Mysteries. There's something about Potter children and their friends...

I realized that many people would be unhappy about the choice that I made. That said, there was simply no other way to deliver the story to the endpoint that I selected before I even began to write. There can be only one headmaster. If Neville had survived and Harry had taken the DADA position, how satisfying would that have been, really? To have Neville spend the remainder of his tenure with a wizard of Harry's formidable reputation looming behind him. It wouldn't have done justice to either character. So I tried to give Neville the most noble, brave, glorious death that I could manage. I hope that I was able to do his character justice.

If there was one thing this chapter had in spades, it was emotion. However it pales compared to the next one.

I always listen to my beta reader. 9 times out of 10, I do what she recommends. This was #10.

Work: the curse of the fan fiction reading classes! Well, I'm very pleased that you allocated some time for me! Thank you so much for all of your awesome thoughts, reactions and feedback. It is inspiring and humbling to have a reader who gives back as much as you do! Until next time...


 Report Review

Review #11, by Roots in Water 

2nd July 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

First, I must say that this chapter certainly sped by! I think that it's one of your longest, by word count, but it felt like one of the shortest. Your action sequences were very smooth to read and they definitely made me feel as though I was right there next to them!

Now: Oh. My. Gosh. You killed Neville. You KILLED Neville! I had begun to suspect that you might, after the line "He shrugged his shoulders slightly, hoping against all reasonable expectations that Harry would understand this was his choice and his alone", but I had still hoped that Neville would survive. However, I understand why you killed him. This was a very dangerous situation and it was unlikely that everyone would have survived it. Furthermore, you gave him an honourable reason to die: he died doing his duty, protecting defenseless children.

I really liked Ron's line at the beginning of the chapter about how thinking that the people were already dead would make it more likely for them to die. It makes sense- the whole "if you're expecting it to happen, it probably will" idea. You've managed to write so many wonderfully true one-liners in this story!

Another line that I like was "Maybe if anybody had to die, it would be him". It expressed Harry's character so perfectly. Harry still has the mindset of a hero, no matter how much he would prefer not to be thought of as such.

As well, I wonder how Neville's last request will affect Harry's future actions. If I remember correctly, Neville had wanted Harry to become a permanent teacher at Hogwarts... I wonder if, after the end of the war, Harry will finally have become sick of fighting and will take up the position of teacher (or maybe even Headmaster) at Hogwarts.

I liked how you orchestrated Dennis, Artie and Portia's entrance into the fight. When Dennis asked Harry how he had gotten into the castle, I immediately thought that the house elf would be later utilized by them. I was ready for Harry to be angrier than he was but I suppose that their saving of his life made it pretty much impossible for him to be too angry at them for escaping from the office. They would have had a solid reason to support their escape, if he had chosen to try and force them away from the fight.

So they've discovered that the sword of Gryffindor has been stolen... I wonder if that will cement their suspicions about the true nature of the book. After all, if a tool that was known to be one of the only methods capable of destroying a Horcrux went missing after a dangerous (and valuable) book had become vulnerable, it would certainly raise my suspicions. I wonder if you can simply summon the sword. I know that it didn't work in DH, but that could have been a result of the Horcrux Harry was wearing around his neck. It would certainly make everything that much simpler if they could just summon it.

All in all, I'm still enjoying your story very much and I do hope that you aren't going to kill anyone else, especially not the younger children. Sorry for the way this review jumped around... And thanks for requesting and I look forward to reading the next installment of this story!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I'm glad the chapter read quickly for you, because it felt like it took forever to write! So many details that had to be covered and so many little things that had to be put into place. Can you believe that I actually sketched out a map of the Great Hall showing where different people were positioned during the fight? There was no other way to keep it all straight. In the 0.1% chance that somebody ever turns this into a movie, they can use my notes. ;)

It was a very difficult decision to have Neville sacrifice himself, so I'm glad you approve of his reasons. I wanted to give him the most noble, heroic death possible. He deserved no less.

It was strange, actually, that this chapter wound up with so many little one-liners, considering it was mostly a grim, plot-driven chapter. Not sure how that happened. I'm glad you enjoyed them, though.

Neville's dying request will definitely impact Harry's life. Stay tuned...

I needed a plausible way to get Dennis, Artie and Portia into the battle, but there was no way on earth that Harry was going to do anything other than tuck them away into Neville's office. So Hermys came to my rescue as much as Harry's in this situation. Elves are so handy to have around!

The sword is gone, but the still have the Sorting Hat. So there's hope...

Well I'm very please that you're enjoying the story and I will certainly be re-requesting when your queue is open again! Thank you so much for all of your wonder reviews! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a new chapter of your Pansy story waiting for me. :)))


 Report Review

Review #12, by Christina 

27th June 2012:
Back again, with another review!

And the only thing I can say is, OMG. NOT NEVILLE. I did not see that coming. At all. Like, he just really needs to not be dead because this has caused me much sadness. I can't stand the fact that someone else that Harry is close to, has once again died. Even after that, I do appreciate the fact that he stayed in his true Neville form until the end, and still thought about how Hogwarts remains a precious place, that should be protected.

Overall, I enjoyed how many details were included in this battle and how action packed it was. Half the time I could hardly keep up with what was going on! It was awesome.

Author's Response: Hello, there! Wonderful to see you back.

I wasn't at all happy about the decision to have Neville sacrifice himself. There simple wasn't any other way for the story to end where it must. I tried very hard to at least give him a hero's death. I felt like he deserved at least that much.

It will be very hard on Harry. He starts to come to terms with it in the next chapter. But he will try to honor his last promise to Neville.

I'm glad you liked the battle scene. I really enjoy writing them.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #13, by Remus 

25th June 2012:
Finally got around to read this! The excitement! :D

I love how after 35 chapters in, your Harry is still the same Harry we know when dealing with death. Despite being the 'Master of Death' I still gather that he's afraid of death. Not his own but of the people he loves. I suppose we can all relate to that when our own death is knocking on the door vs a loved one's death.

Phineas Black Portrait is so much like canon, nice touch. And going back to our old portrait chat from chapters ago, I'm glad that you're finally using them as I hoped you would. I always saw them as another means of communication for not only the head masters but Harry as well.

Why is the Slytherin House always the evil one here? Hahaha! Why can't some Gryffindors or crazy Hufflepuffs join the muggle-born hunts? I'm sure there's some blood purity madness among the other houses but may keep it quiet.

Sir Nicholas here is hilarious! Loved it when he shouted a challenge to the Blood Order wizards. I look like some mad woman here at work as I'm trying not to laugh or have a random grin as the customers are about.

Artie here shows his Potter blood by attacking first however, Dennis here deserves the medal for bravery. He comes a long way from being the boy that didn't care much for history and Voldemort to being tired of being afraid. Him fighting back, physically fighting back is a great way to have him develop as a character.

I find Harry's line "You're not ready for this yet." ironic. In fact, I think it brings Harry full circle and I love it.

What I would've liked to see is more of Hermy's struggle. I know that he's done some of the self punishment before (or maybe I've imagined it) and I think the section with Artie would've shown more of the elf's struggle. Obey his Master or Obey the Master's family member?

Just as a note: you must have had fun writing Peeves.

OMG. WHY?! Im having to stop myself from PMing you very un-lady like words here. In fact, I am close to tears and I'm still at work. Ugh, the only phrase that I could think of right now is Valar Morghulis to make myself feel better about it. I would ask you the why behind his death but I suppose it gives Harry another motive? No idea, no idea...but wow, another great chapter.

Until next time!!

--Perelandra

Author's Response: Hello, dear! Sorry for the slow response. I've been slaving away over chapter 36.

Harry is very fearful of seeing the ones he loves die. I think it comes from missing that connection throughout most of his childhood, then losing so many people he cared about over a short few years in his teens. This is *the* major theme of the next chapter.

Phineas Nigellus is a fun, little minor character to throw in from time to time. He's humorous and informative and provides a solid link to the past.

Sorry, but you know us Lions, we're always hard on the Snakes. :P

I had a blast writing and tweaking Sir Nicholas's dialog. He's such a card.

Dennis is the real "coming of age" story within the story. He's symbolic of a world that's waking up to the reality that magic comes with a big responsibility, one that's been largely forgotten over the two generations since the war. Again, another major theme of the story.

Harry really has come full circle. He is now the authority figure he chafed against as a youth.

Thanks for the feedback on Hermys. I wasn't really sure how much to make of that without sounding like I was belaboring the point. The poor elf was obviously deeply conflicted. And I think the magic governing such a situation is inherently unclear.

I had **A BLAST** writing Peeves.

It wasn't a fun decision, having Neville sacrifice himself. I took some consolation in the fact that he died a hero's death, which I think he truly deserved. In his own, quiet way, Neville is one of the bravest characters in the entire series. Just the courage it took to come out of his shell was non-trivial. I wanted him to go out in a blaze of glory.

I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks so much for all of your awesome reviews!


 Report Review

Review #14, by spartacusblack 

25th June 2012:
Even though I have been following your story for quite some time, it is the first time I am reviewing it. Mainly because I feel that filling your inbox with another review saying that your story is amazing, and if it were a book I would call it a page-turner, would be uncalled for.
As it stands now, I really have to say that I do not usually wish a character's death, but Lady Tenebra... and now with Neville dead...
I just wish that as painfull as his death is, because even though Neville was never my favourite character, he was definitely the most relatable one, it leads to Harry being headmaster, now that would be interesting...
Anyways, it really is a most amazing story, can't wait to know what happens next.

Author's Response: Hi, there. Thanks for taking a moment to leave some thoughts. No need to worry about cluttering my reviews. I like them all!

I completely understand where you're coming from with Lady Tenabra. The terrible things she's done and caused to happen are enough to make anybody wish for her painful demise.

I'm working on ch. 36 now, but my narrative voice isn't cooperating. Gonna keep on chugging away.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #15, by Em 

25th June 2012:
NEVILLE N O O O O O O O ! ! ! !

How could you?!?!?

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

*flips table over*

*kicks chair*

*runs away crying*



(Great chapter, excellent descriptions, I could totally picture it in my mind. Can't really say anything else, most of what's going through my head is incoherent bumbling and unbearable sadness at the death of Neville Longbottom)

Author's Response: So sorry to have caused you such grief. It wasn't an especially fun thing to write. I have to ask you to trust me that there is a reason for it and it will become clear by the end.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #16, by Lilly Luna 

23rd June 2012:
NOOO NEVILLE! ARG. I like this chapter a lot and cant wait for the next one! This story is most deff my favorite right now!

Author's Response: Hi, there.

Sorry about Neville. :( It was a hard decision to make, but one that I think was necessary for where the story needs to go.

Thanks for reading and taking a moment to review!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Jchrissy 

23rd June 2012:
Oh darling, darling, darling. I have been waiting for so long to review this. You just made my Saturday morning! Well, and the yummy plate of Crepes covered in whip cream.. ubt

Anyway.

Seamusís sentence was a tiny bit of comic relief, for me. Just because it was said in more of a joking but obviously worried way, and I love imagining Seamus talk. Those Irish... mmm. I think itís really great how you manage to have Harry switch from loving father, grandfather, best friend, to the commander of this mission. Itís almost like he has to force himself to think logically, and only logically, so he doesnít get to wrapped up into his own fear. The link about Tonks, Remus, and Fred was incredible. Heart breaking, but perfect.

Iím so curious if Ron is correct about the book. I believe, because ití definitely creepy, but it almost seems too easy. Looks like itís time to head back down to the CoS... hehe

I love the scene with Artie, Portia, and Dennis! I love it! I really thought Dennisís foot was going to kick somewhere else, but I guess your spot works too ;)
And of course, Peeves is always available to lighten the mood a bit.

Artie, Dennis, and Portia to the rescue... I feel so bad for poor Hermyís though :((. I really like how Luna like Portia is, she seems so lovable and easy to get along with.

It amazes me how well you can write these fighting/chaotic/crazy scenes. There is so much going on that I have to be really careful not to loose track of anyone, I caít imagine being the one that has to keep them all straight while writing them! Itíís all so realistic and smooth, there is nothing choppy or nothing thrown in to try and make two other places blend better. Itís just really, really good. Sorry, Iím fangirling over here. ;).

I donít know what you are thinking, Dan. Really, you just wrote your own death, you realize this, right? Esme was bad enough, and she was a new character that we new for under 10 chapters. But this is Neville. Neville Longbottom that has already survived one war. Part of me feels like he deserved to die a hero, I always assumed he would at the end of the HP series.. but now that it has actually happened it hurts my heart so much :(. Harry is never going to forgive himself... and if you survive through all the fan rage that is going to come soon, iíll be thoroughly impressed. Do you know how many times i've cried over this story, now? :(


This was such a fast paced, on the edge of my couch kind of chapter. Your characterizations continue to be flawless. I am going to have to side with Deeds about you actually being JKR. But, I think you would have told me by now, right?

I am going to die before I get to read chapter 36. Now you are going to kill me and Neville :(!

Author's Response: Hello, darling! So nice to find your review waiting for me!

I'm glad you liked my small dose of Seamus. He's one more character that I'm just not doing justice, I'm afraid. There are so many of them.

Harry is definitely forcing himself to stay focused at this point. His stress level is obviously off the charts, in addition to being exhausted and coping with the recent loss of Esme. Sadly, life isn't going to get any easier for him any time soon.

Dennis is too much of a gentleman, I suppose, to kick another man, um, somewhere else. Not that I didn't think of that while writing it, mind you. Hermys was used and abused just a bit in this chapter. Harry will certainly forgive him. The poor elf didn't have any choice.

The battle scene was fun to write, even if the outcome wasn't what anyone really wanted. I do enjoy building these large, complex action scenes in my mind and then trying to turn them into written words. I really hope the layout of the battle was reasonably clear in your mind. This is the part where I wish I could add illustrations to my story.

I'm not really sure what to say in response to your feelings about Neville's death. I'm still grappling with many of the same feelings, myself. I do think it was important that he died a hero's death, because he was a hero. Going back far before he lopped off Nagini's head, Neville was a quiet hero of the books. I just hope that everyone can appreciate his death for what it was: the ultimate act of bravery and sacrifice.

Yes, yes, I would have told you by now if I was JKR. You know why? Because you would have badgered the information out of me! You're incorrigible. You know that, right? :P

Oh, hush. You're not going to die. I really want to be finished with killing people/characters. No promises, though. ;)

Thanks so much for all of your awesome reviews and for being so enthusiastic about the story!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review