9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

24th February 2013:
I really enjoyed this, but it was really sad! I love the link you make between Tonks and Lily, because I always think that Teddy's beginning in life is so similar to Harry's - except that Teddy will be loved, luckily! I thought the two parts of this story worked really well and the contrast was very effective. It was nice to read something about Remus and Tonks because there isn't much written about them, and I thought this story fit well with canon but also put the emotions into Tonks' last minutes. Well done!

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Review #2, by starryskies55 

11th September 2012:
Hey! The two sections of this were really powerful as they were complete polar opposites, which was super effective. Teddy's hair colour changes were a nice touch, and the emotion you portrayed for Tonks was amazing. I particularly liked the link to Lily Potter, that was very nice.

The second half was also really good, Remus and Tonks deaths weren't elaborated on in DH, but I thought you did it very well, and well with the little canon we have to go on. (you have a typo though- 'ling'- lying :P)

As you said you were editing this, I have a little crit for you- I'd maybe put a bit more into the description. The first scene could do with some more just to set the homeliness of it perhaps, and in the second scene, you wouldn't want too much, as you don't want to lose the immediacy and WHOA factor, but I think it would really benefit from some description.

This was a really touching one-shot though, that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Author's Response: I apologize so much for taking so long with responding! Feel free to rant about how bad it was! I really, really appreciate your review!

Great! The link between the two moms just sort of occured to me randomly, but then I realized how intense it is. Both little orphan boys :(

ooh thanks for pointing that typo out! I'm glad you think I did a good job on their deaths. Writing those scenes are so hard for me

Description is going to kill me one of these days XP I'll see what I can do with it! Thanks for the crit!

Again, I really appreciate this review!


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Review #3, by Shortie 

10th September 2012:
*Sob* She saw him die? *Sob* That's horrible!!! Too sad! *Sob*

I love this. Really! You really brought out the last minutes of a woman, Tonks, just as she was. I mean, that is exactly what would have been going on in her mind. Her son and her husband. *Sob* To see her husband die like that... That's plain cruel.

Sorry for rambling :D But this piece is really good. I love the way you've portrayed her, the war, and her last moments. You've taken canon just as it is and recreated your own story. Splendid.

Thank you so much for submitting this story :)

*Hugs*

Author's Response: I know :( I can't even imagine what that would be like! I'm so happy that you liked it!

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Review #4, by Jchrissy 

3rd August 2012:
Baw such a sad, sad topic. First of all, I love the comparison you've made between Lily and Tonks.

I'm sure Remus and Sirius both told her all about the Potters, so she would know that story well. Everyone wants to think they'd be strong enough to die for their own child, anyone they really loved - but I also think there's always the 'could I actually do it?' aspect behind the heart of the sentiment until someone is put in that position.

Lily did, willingly and selflessly, and you made it so clear that the second Teddy became part of Tonks's life, she knew she would too. Part of me is always slightly angry at Tonks, because she didn't need to die. She could have stayed alive for her son, but she also couldn't just stay and let her husband fight.

I think that what you've done here by making her leave to fight for the purpose of protecting her son was perfect, because I think I'll always see it as a somewhat selfish act. But you made it feel the opposite here with your beautiful writing and amazing flow.

This was heart breaking and such a crazy combination of soft sharp.

Wonderful story, m'dear!

Jami

Author's Response: I know :( DH is just filled with heartbreakers

Exactly--you never know what you're truly capable of until you face that choice.

Her choice is so complicated, I'm never quite sure what to think. I mean, she kind of had to choose between her husband and her son, and I can't imagine that!

Thanks so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it!


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Review #5, by academica 

21st July 2012:
Hello!

I'm assuming this is based off of Taylor Swift's "Safe and Sound" - I love that song, and I feel like in THG it was supposed to reflect the relationship between Peeta and Katniss, but it's always sounded like more of a mother-child song to me, so I think it's entirely appropriate that you used it here :)

This was really beautiful in its brevity. I loved how well the emotions came through and how sad I felt for Tonks when she realized that not only would she not be able to watch Teddy grow up, but that Teddy would also be losing his father on that day. I love her resolve, too - it seems so like Tonks to want to be active and fight and to do her part to make Teddy's future a good one, rather than staying behind and waiting. She seems a great deal like Sirius in that respect (in fact, I'm becoming convinced that it's simply not in the Black family genes to be passive or patient). Overall, I think you did a really great job on this beautiful one-shot!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing!

Yes, it is. It was written for a challenge actually! I can see it both ways honestly, but it really struck me as fitting with the Lupin family and what Remus said to Harry about Teddy knowing his parents died to make it a better world for him.

I can't imagine what it would be like to lose both parents on the same day. And for Tonks to go to the battle, knowing she might not come back...well she's obviously got some Gryffindor courage along with her awesome Hufflepuff loyalty!

The Black genes certainly don't let anyone just sit back! For better or for worse, they are always right in the action. Even Narcissa, who seems pretty passive at first ends up changing the course of the war when she says Harry is dead!


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Review #6, by CambAngst 

20th July 2012:
Hi, there! You've written so many nice reviews for CoB, I wanted to dig in and check out some of your work.

This was a really lovely take on Tonks's relationship with her son and her husband and how it affected the last night of her life. The emotions seemed really genuine to me. It was easy to place myself into her mindset and her single-minded determination to keep her infant son safe from Voldemort and his Death Eaters. A mother's love changes everything about a person's point of view.

Poor Andromeda. It must have been so awful for her to watch her only child charge off to fight, so soon after losing her husband. If I were to suggest one thing for this story, it would probably be to lengthen the moment between Andromeda, Tonks and Teddy just a bit longer. Tonks obviously couldn't stay too long or she would have possibly lost her determination. Still, I think it would have added something to see Andromeda give her daughter one, last hug.

The scene at the castle seemed maybe not quite chaotic enough. It felt to me like Tonks had a relatively easy time fighting her way to the spot where she witnesses Remus's death. It's obviously not the focus of the story, but I think an offhand mention or two of the chaos around her and the injuries and deaths that she sees would fill out the picture just a bit.

Remus's death is heart-breaking. Her reaction to it, how she frames it in the context of her son, was perfect. She takes her revenge on Dolohov, and never realizes that it's Bellatrix who strikes her down. So tragic.

Your writing was really lovely. Everything flowed very smoothly and I didn't see any typos or spelling or grammar problems.

Overall, good job! Fell free to take my comments or leave them. I'm just a nut for action and descriptions of it.

Author's Response: Hi! And just so you know, I am going to keep reading and reviewing CoB, but my parents have weird controls on my computer that are blocking chapter 5 for some reason. I'll get them to fix it soon though.

I'm really happy that you thought I did a good job with Tonks' emotions. Not being a mother myself, I wasn't sure if I has hit the mark.

Hmm, you're probably right. I'll think about that definitely.

Thanks for the tip! I'll see what I can do. I went a little easy on it because I didn't want it to overpower the rest of the story, but I see what you mean.

I hate writing sad stories :( so much!

I'm taking them! I appreciate anyone's thoughts on how I can improve my story. So thanks!


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Review #7, by angel_speaks 

18th June 2012:
Overall, there was one or two grammatical errors, no biggie. I could feel a bit of the angst that you, as the author, is trying to portray within the text. Maybe if you got more in depth with the emotions and the environment, you'll add more of the angst into the story.

The flow was consistent throughout and the characterization was appropriate. There is a lot of room for improvement and I think what you have written here is enough proof that you have the talents to do so!

Happy Writing!!! 8/10

Author's Response: Thanks! This was my first shot at writing angst, so I know I have a lot of room to improve. I appreciate the review :)

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Review #8, by meghna 

17th June 2012:
Well, there you go. You've reduced me into a sad mush of post-angst goop.

'She had always felt very awkward and uncomfortable around babies, and her habitual clumsiness did not help. But that changed when she had Teddy.' This line is so beautiful and after reading it you just /know/ that it's going to be a great story. I think the way the sentence is placed in the story is really important, because the chapter starts off with Tonks feeling at home with Teddy in her arms, only to decide that she has to leave him behind. The ending gave me goosebumps - starting with Tonks rushing to find Lupin especially when you and I both know he will be death, or will be soon enough, to watch him die right in front of her. Again, I love the line 'With each flash of her wand, Tonks thought of her husband, and her fatherless son.' and you just know instantly that she's trying so desperately hard to stay alive for Teddy, so that he won't have an entirely broken family. The ending was canon and therefore inevitable, but you traced out the emotional turmoil rather subtly but still at heartbreaking pace. Wonderful writing!

Author's Response: Thanks! I had a very hard time writing it. I'm not usually an angsty writer so I wasn't sure how the angst would come across. I wish I hadn't had to have Tonks die, but its canon *sigh* Anyway I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

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Review #9, by Phoenix_feather123 

17th June 2012:
so sad right when i finished reading this a big chill went down me. idk y matbe because of the story maybe because i ahve the fan on idk

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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