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Reading Reviews for Run, Chapter 14: Midnight Oil
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauder5 

8th April 2013:
Another great chapter! Not that I'm surprised ;)

I love the amount of detail you've put into this story. Your descriptions of this world they're living in are so vivid, that I feel like I'm watching it, rather than reading about. However, a tip for future stories could be not to let it get out of hand. It's absolutely fantastic, but sometimes, just sometimes, less is more. There have been a few times when I've read this story that I've found that it didn't flow as well as it could have, because it focused a little too much on descriptions. However, this is just a tiny detail and all in all, I love the descriptions :)

Lily in your story is so interesting. I find that many authors portray her as almost perfect, the ultimate good person, without a single flaw. Which is not very believable. That's why I love her in your story - she has flaws, she's a regular woman - she likes the fact that Snape is in love with her. She appreciates the attention. I love it.

But in this chapter, I just fell in love with James. I've always loved that character, even in the original series, and congratulations, you've done him justice! Lily is a lucky woman to get to be his wife :) He seems so wonderful!

I was so sad when I read about Fred. It seems like he hates the quiet because he misses the Burrow... maybe he'll win, so that he'll get to hide in there somewhere for just one day, and be home again. I'd like that :)

I look forward to reading the rest of your story. It's so, so good!! ;)

Author's Response: Sometimes I let the details run a little wild and forget to rear them in. XD Sorry about that! Some passages, for some reason, came out extremely visual and it was important for me to describe exactly what everything looked like. And in other chapters it's more action-oriented, or dialogue-oriented, etc. I tried to keep a nice balance but my tendency to go on description tangents does appear every now and then. *hides*

Lily's characterization in this story is somewhat divisive with readers. She's usually portrayed a lot differently in other fanfics, but I wanted to try something new. After all, we really don't know that much about her - and what we do know, is from memories or hearsay years and years after her death. The afterlife changes people. Lily is not the same person as she was when she came here.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by Aaron 

1st April 2013:
It was a good chapter but I believe someone hacked your account. Many of the words have been replaced such as wand with banana, eyes with puppies, love with Tinky Winky, and face with purse. There's a few other ones including underwear and eyebrow that I can't quite decipher. Just thought I would let you know, however I am very much enjoying your story and really appreciate your creativity and attention to detail. Thank you!

Author's Response: I would recommend reading the printer-friendly version of this story. As an April Fool's joke, HPFF has gone through and substituted certain words for other ones in everyone's stories. XD It'll all be back to normal tomorrow.

Thank you for reading!!


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Review #3, by x3CherryWatermelonx3 

26th January 2013:
Another amazing chapter! :)

I really enjoyed seeing James and Lily together, as a couple. I do wonder though if something's going to happen between Lily and Severus. Nothing scandalous, mind you, but something nonetheless.

See you in the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Lily and Severus, at the very least, need to have some kind of interaction. There's a lot of unspoken stuff that needs to be brought out into the open.

This was my first portrayal of Lily/James, in this story. I'm happy you enjoyed it.


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Review #4, by justonemorefic 

2nd January 2013:
James is so wise when it comes to his loved ones, I actually love him here. Harry lapping them in age. James must live long enough to meet his son, to shake his hand and embrace him, because Lily might not see that day. oh. ;-;

I love that they have to put away their wands. This Lily and James must have something fiery, and it must still get fiery. AND JAMES I LOVE YOU BECAUSE I LOVE SNAPE BUT AS A DEEPLY TRAGIC CHARACTER AND THE FACT THAT JAMES IS WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT SNAPE IS /THERE/ AND /IN LOVE WITH LILY/ AND LILY FORGIVES HIM, OMG I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE JAMES.

“What would you have had me do? He’s in love with my wife. He’s in love with you and everyone knows it. Everyone. I’m not so foolish as to think that you’ve never considered him. But it’s humiliating to hear people talk about it. We’re living in forever here, and forever is a long time to be with one person and one person only. Don’t you think I realize that?” This WHOLE paragraph. As soon as I saw that he was humiliated especially made me all the more sympathetic for him as well, but also I love how his wisdom comes out again.

And I know that guilty pleasure that Lily partakes in, loving being loved. It's a powerful thing.

Hah, all Freds are so bored. Desperate enough to take up the sparkly 'Puff himself. Heh, CC is starting to sound like that creepy too-perfect world from The Truman Show. I love his bromancey-but-suspish gossip time with Cedric. Ced sticking up for a fellow 'Puff's dueling rep.

i am up so late that julia signed on.

Author's Response: James and Lily are kind of stuck in an arrested development sort of stage, which has its benefits (romance always feels new and fiery), and also its drawbacks. And then on a different level they've also matured, more so James than Lily - and they're just a mess, really. But James has his head screwed on straight whereas Lily's kind of bobbles. Okay that image I just cannot.

JAMES IS BEING THE BIGGER PERSON, AM I ALLOWED TO LOVE HIM TOO BECAUSE I KIND OF DO. He walks along the high road with his staff of wisdom. ~ He's obvs not a huge fan of Snape but he's willing to overlook it for the sake of his own sanity. He's grown up past this more than Severus has and Severus is technically like sixteen years his senior.

Loving being loved. :( It really is a powerful thing.

Ahh, I love The Truman Show! And that is a good comparison. IT'S DECEPTIVELY SHINY.


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Review #5, by Akussa 

3rd September 2012:
Hi!

This chapter was really sweet. I loved Lily and James conversation; it was just so natural and honest. I'm not a fan of Severus and I honestly can't understand why people were so easy to forgive him and for, I think it's the first time, I felt like at least someone felt the same way that I do about him. James' reason for disliking the man are the exact ones I have. Sure he felt bad about sending Voldemort to Lily but he still willingly set a murderer on the trail of a child and that is unexcusable. Plus all the years of torture and bullying for every single Hogwarts students. Well, let's just say that I almost applauded James in this piece of dialogue!!

The second part of the chapter was really, really well written as well. I like how you presented Fred, thinking of his life and how lonely he felt. It must be pretty hard for him, considering he's always had someone by his side. His conversation with Cedric was everybit as ackward as it should be! Still, it was nice to see these two talk and share a bit.

I really enjoyed this chapter, it was a nice moment between the fighters. Great work!

Author's Response: I feel like I'm cheating because Severus haters like this story and Severus lovers like this story. I include different POV's and opinions on him so that everyone is appeased. :3 Severus did some really horrid things and I do not blame James at all for still being angry with him. For a while he could sort of escape it because he didn't have to deal with Severus, but now that Snape is in the Clock, everything's out in the open.

I feel awful for poor Fred. :( He doesn't realize yet that he needs Cedric. He needs friendship. You can't survive in a place like Cliodna's Clock if you want to be alone.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by shadowycorner 

14th August 2012:
So beautiful! And sad! James's part was amazing. I love how he thinks he has to stay alive so he can meet Harry one day, because God knows Lily is reckless enough to enter the races again. Although, maybe she wouldn't have to anymore. Maybe she'll realize Harry is safe now, leading a happy life and she could wait for him when his time comes. The love between her and James just makes my heart swell. Their argument was so heartfelt and I just adore James and the man he is. I also understand Lily's feelings, even that horrible satisfaction that Snape still loves her. It's so very human.

Fred is incredible, too. I'd give anything not to have him in this story, though, for obvious reasons.

but now they were gone, or rather Fred was gone… This just breaks my heart. It's so sad to realize all of his family got to live on, have families and grow old while he was the one sort of left behind. I always imagined Fred had it worse than George, because George had the rest of their family to help him pull through, while Fred remained alone. And I adore how you portray Fred's love for his family. You don't even have to say it, it's there, it's subtle but so strong, in between the lines.

I love this.

Liz

Author's Response: First of all, I want to thank you again for reading and for leaving me all of these awesome reviews. :)

I agree about Lily, and I think that since Harry's officially defeated Voldemort, that will take some of the worry and pressure off her to check on him over and over again. If she ever wants news, all she has to do is ask Cassandra Trelawney to take a look. Maybe now she'll be able to relax.

I love what you said about Fred having a harder time of things than George because while George has the support of his entire family, Fred is mostly alone. It's a very good thing that Fred's natural disposition is a light one, or he would be a huge mess right now.

Thank you for reading and reviewing (I sound like such a broken record but I'm just so appreciative so I have to say it over and over). I do believe that you are two chapters away from Round Two! I hope you continue to read and enjoy. :)


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Review #7, by maskedmuggle 

23rd July 2012:
There are just so many things you bring up in this chapter that describe something absolutely perfectly!! The relationship between James/Lily! and Fred looking for Cedric. Ahh but the beginning with James/Lily was just so perfect. All the thoughts, emotions, everything came through so believably THEM.
At this moment, she couldn’t bring herself to hate him, no matter how much she wanted to.

She would be honest, of course. They did not lie to each other about important matters.
Isn't this what real love is? ♥

Oh my goodness, Snape! It was surprising to find out James knew that Snape loves Lily - but it shouldn't be. I think it's surprising to see James so mature, but it's absolutely wonderful too.
“We’re living in forever here, and forever is a long time to be with one person and one person only. Don’t you think I realize that?” Aww James.. whilst Lily's feelings are kinda mixed inside (understandably) I hope she doesn't ever break James' heart because I couldn't bear that for him.

I was following you around most of the time we were on the ship. I saw that slippery snake try to talk to you and I just lost it.” I'm curious, how did James know which one was Lily and Snape? Might've been interesting to mention!!

Fred/Cedric's discussion was well written too. You just really get their characters (all characters in this fic!). I don't even know how Fred would be feeling, coming from a family of 8 others and finding himself all alone here. But gahh, the James/Lily relationship moment was just so special and I really loved this chapter like every chapter! :)
- Charlotte

Author's Response: And the James/Lily/Snape plotty bits thicken!

Heee. I love everything about James/Lily/Snape, exploring their various feelings, good and bad alike, towards one another. I'm a strong Lily/James shipper but with Severus all angsty on the side with his unrequited feelings, and the whole thing is like a treasure trove for me to dig into, poking at all the parts that hurt. Poor Severus. :(

Oooh, good question! Remember on the ship when Lily was talking to the man with the little watch at the table, and they were sizing each other up? That was James. ^ ^ He recognized her very quickly, and she realized it was him, too, eventually, but then the boat began to tilt downward under the ocean's surface and Lily lost contact with him. But evidently James kept an eye on her after that.

So, so happy you're still reading and enjoying! You've got one more transitional chapter before Round Two. ;)

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by peppersweet 

19th June 2012:
;A; lily and james. in a way, lily strikes me as...well, brave and noble and selfless, but so selfish at the same time. I don't really know how to phrase it and I'm going to stop typing now.

colin and orla in tents on the beach :3 colin is still my favourite by a long shot.

eep. fred and cedric bromance. fredric. ♥

Author's Response: Lily is very selfish. She's putting James through hell and she's disregarding the feelings of everyone else, and she's been hogging the prize for years and years and isn't at all sorry about it. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH CHILDREN ON EARTH, LILY. She is deffo flawed.

Colin and Orla are like little adventurists. I just want to scoop them up and put them in my pocket. P.S. I talked to Colin earlier and he says he appreciates your support and he offers you a pennant.



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Review #9, by pennyardelle 

18th June 2012:
One of Harry's parents must be present to fill him with the love that Harry's life had been lacking for so many years, to bridge across those burns and rebuild their family.

Too much emotion! Gah. That whole passage was just so moving. But the fact that James is determined not to lose the tournament was a little scary in its vagueness for me. Because, obviously, losing could mean getting out in one of the early rounds, but it could also mean making it to the end and getting his 24 hours on earth. But the risk of that...eep!

Also, something I've been wondering more and more as I read this story: is "dying" when you lose the tournament actually a blessing, in a way? I keep wondering what the difference between life in Cliodna's Clock, and, say, living as a ghost on earth is. Are they both sort of forms of purgatory? Is leaving Cliodna's Clock actually a form of "moving on"? I was just thinking about that and wanted to hear your views on it.

Fistpumps for James' rant against Snape. Every word of it, so true. It's why I despise when people try to insist that Snape was a hero, and that he did so much for Harry. Snape actually did just about the bare minimum he could for Harry, and maybe sometimes a bit less. One of my biggest pet peeves, and I loved seeing it explored so well in a story.

Author's Response: James is taking a pretty huge gamble here. On one hand, this could be his first real opportunity to see his son for twenty-four hours. He got to see him briefly with the Resurrection Stone, but that didn't last long. And on the other hand, the closer he gets to the end, the bigger the chance is that he'll lose and never get to see his son again at all.

Cliodna's Clock isn't quite what it seems, which will become increasingly more evident in future chapters. It wears the mask of paradise, so not all of the residents are quick to notice, but there's definitely something iffy in the air. :3

Snape might've been brave, but he was also a bully and there's no way around it.

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me these lovely reviews!

- Sarah


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Review #10, by MagicalInk 

18th June 2012:
Gaaah! So this is me again, shamefully back in catching up but this time I'll be reviewing /the best way I can/!

So... Merlin James! I love him so much I'm glad you aren't leaving him in the shadows. The way he cares about Harry and wants to keep his family together even though he's dead... ♥ You've made him smart which most writers don't because, well, Lily is generally the brainy one -- but the way he isn't just jealous and sees deep into Snape is just great. Not to mention I share his thoughts about Snape which may or may have not charmed me more.

And the house is just such an original detail! I love it because you avoid the typical description of trembling eyes or whatever and instead it's the house that's shaking. Just brilliant.

And no :( Fred. I love how he just won't think that it's over for him. I think it might not have sinked in yet that he's dead and he's taking the races as a chance against his odds and current situation. I just can't wait until he truly starts to miss George. (sadistic me thinking of more depression in afterlife :/). I love how you're characterizing Cedric as we don't know much about him from the books, but he definitely seems like a witty Hufflepuff :3

The last paragraph/sentence is so sinister and angst-y, how they're friends even if they should be enemies, and reminds us (readers) that all the stress is coming from the fact that someone will in fact disappear... *shudder* I don't know if I want to catch upside fast anymore because it's left me with such an /ironically nice/ uneasy feeling that's perfect for this story. But summer is coming so expect the fastest reviews ever! ;)

Author's Response: Wow, this review! You are fantastic. :)

Lily wouldn't be half the person she is without James. His support sort of carries her. Usually it's, "behind every man there is a woman" or whatever the phrase is, but in this instance the roles have been switched. James is a bit charming, isn't he? I'm starting to like him more and more as this story goes on.

Yep, I've been holding out on Fred's angsting over George. Don't worry, though, you will see his thoughts on that subject soon. :D

Cedric and Fred both need a friend to lean on, and they're taking a gamble in forging a friendship when one of them could possibly die soon. D;

Thank you so much for reading and for the awesome review!


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Review #11, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

18th June 2012:
This year she had been spared, but what about next year? There was only so much strength left in James; there was only so far that he could stretch, pretending to be unaffected, supporting his wife's decisions unconditionally. She was flawed and he loved her for it, but he could not submit himself to death. This was not a selfish wish for himself, but for the one he loved most.

^ You know I really didn't understand why James decided to join. I thought that it was because of Snape and Pettigrew, it was essentially because of Snape but I never really thought about Harry. I understand that Lily loves her son and her feelings kind of overpowered James's feelings for Harry to me but after reading that I feel like I have a better understanding of James now.

It's incredibly sad that he's trying to keep his family together even in death. He wants to be the one to greet Harry when he's an old man and I wonder...does Lily? I know she goes to earth every year practically to seek Harry and to watch him but meeting him in death is an entirely different thing. I don't think she would react well to the thought of her son one day dying and joining her. I think she kind of clings onto this idea that he's a young boy but one day he's going to be a man and he's going to have a wife and children that she's going to wish she could hold and love and i feel like seeing him throughout those years is only going to make things harder for her and then for James because he's going to essentially watch her sort of crumble in front of him.

He was mean to Harry, there's no way around it. Ever since he stepped foot in Hogwarts, Harry had to put up with a teacher who hated him just because he didn’t like his father.

^ You know, I wonder if James' views on Severus would change once Harry and Ginny have Albus Severus.

I can't believe I'm so behind on this story! I must catch up!!

Author's Response: James joined up because he somehow heard that Severus had, and he wanted to do his best to keep Severus away from Lily. I think that motivation is kind of justified, since Severus obviously loves Lily and it makes sense that in some point in time, he's going to try to make her change her mind about him.

I love your insight and what you said about Lily is exactly how I view her, as well. She is so attached to seeing Harry as he is, but what's she going to do when he has a family and this means more people - more family - that she can't touch or talk to? She won't be able to do more than look at her grandchildren. She needs to rip it off like a band-aid and stop torturing herself.

I think James is in a place where he can't appreciate Severus's good facets yet because he's still so angry with him. If he lives long enough to find out about Albus Severus, I imagine he would be shocked first and then slowly come to terms with it. Harry is obviously a forgiving person.

Harry. ♥

So excited to see you back here, Deeds! Thank you for taking the time to read this; I know you read a lot of fics, so I'm honored that this is one of them.

- Sarah


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Review #12, by Hogwarts27 

14th June 2012:
I left a review and don't see it posted, so sorry if this double posts.

One of the things I really like about this story is how you're exploring the motives of each of the characters to be in the race. I really enjoyed reading Jame's point of view on Snape, and I'm so glad you didn't just portray him as a jealous husband but also for how Snape treated Harry. Lily and James have never been my favorite characters, but I really like how you portrayed James here. You've shown that he really has a heart. I could get to like him when he's written this way.

I love Fred and I think you portray him really well. The only thing that seems a bit 'off' for me about him at this point is that you haven't portrayed him missing George very much. He seems a little too blase about the whole thing, like oh well, I'm dead, might as well just adjust. If the characters in this afterlife can't see their loved ones who are still living, I think Fred would be a lot more shell-shocked and feeling much sadder by the separation. When the second part of this chapter started with Fred all by himself, I was really hoping that you would delve more into those feelings, because it felt like the perfect moment. I'm not criticizing, just letting you know how it strikes me as an objective reader. I'm really enjoying this story regardless.

Author's Response: If I were James, I would have been livid. The idea of a grown man bullying a child...it's just terrible. I think that James has shown incredible restraint by not beating him to a pulp. I know that if someone treated my child the way that Severus treated Harry, there would be some hell to pay.

Thank you for your feedback on Fred, and I agree that up to this point, there has been little focus on George and the rest of his family. It's been intentionally done, and for two reasons, the first being what I mentioned in a couple of earlier responses - there is so much sadness elsewhere in the story that I didn't want to make everything one long train of depression by making Fred dwell on his sadness, too. Plus, he was such a strong, lighthearted character in canon that I don't really see him going on and on about his woes. I see him more so as taking a look around, seeing what it will take to see his family again (winning the duel), and putting all of his energy into that. But the second reason is because I have plans for Fred to think about George in a later chapter, and didn't want to add that here as well because it might be overkill. I really want to strike a balance between all of the negative and the positive, and so I've put Fred at the more positive end of the spectrum. But I definitely do see where you're coming from; his attitude is a lot different from the others'.

Thank you for reading and for all of these amazing reviews! I am trying to respond to them as quickly as possible. ^ ^ I hope that you continue to like the story. :)


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Review #13, by Ardeith 

7th June 2012:
Wow! This story would be soo good if you only focused on the inventive afterlife you've created and the Devil's Duel. But it is great because you bring in all these real relationships and issues. Loved the insight into James/Lily's relationship and thoughts on their pasts. Of course, Lily couldn't help be just a tiny bit flattered at Snape's devotion! I don't think I've ever read a James/Lily where their relationship seemed real, but yours does!

And your writing is just sooo beautiful. This: "The next day was years and years away, and impossibly, the day after that felt startlingly close." I just loved!

So glad that Fred and Ced are becoming friends. They both really need one, you know! I think it would be great fun to spend one of those evenings when the next day is "years and years away" with them. :-)

Author's Response: I figure that I could definitely just detail the events of the Duel, but readers' investment in the outcomes would be severely limited if I didn't stop to give them reasons why they should root for some of them. I wanted to show everyone's motivations for entering, and their relationships with one another, and overall their day-to-day lives in this strange village. I'm so, so glad that you're enjoying reading it because I'm having a blast writing it.

Yay, thank you for pointing out that line that you liked. It's such an odd feeling but it's one that I think we've all experienced.

Fred and Ced definitely need some manly bonding time, especially since they're already feeling so isolated, being in the Duel and all.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by Jess the Enthusiast 

2nd June 2012:
jkasjdjhfjahajfa LOVE
Okay, so this chapter is basically all of the reasons why I love James Potter; I think you wrote him incredibly well because a lot of the times he is pushed aside and overshadowed by Lily as if she were the only one who saved Harry. I mean, the guy was just a 21 year old kid who could have abandoned his wife and baby but instead faced Voldemort not only wandless, but standing tall. That, to me, is brave. And I think a lot of people forget about that. And usually in fanfiction I see James loving Lily more than she loves him; she's usually mean and -
I think I should stop there because if I don't I'll just rant about how people get my OTP wrong.
But YOU didn't so THANK YOU!!! I'm so glad! It was so well written and I think you really captured their spark; I've always felt that James and Lily had this incredible passion, this electricity. And I just really liked the way you wrote them and how you're dealing with the Snape issue because I don't think Lily would have ran into his arms - she's with James and James only.
And I loved the parts with Fred and Cedric!
So, as you know, I love this story as much as James loves Lily and Lily loves James (which is, like, A LOT) and I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
PS: You also really captured my feelings towards Snape in this chapter. I mean, I love the guy to death, but I also recognize that he's a jerk; he's mean (which is part of the reason why I love him. I love it in book 5 when he gets sarcastic with Umbridge). I think a lot of people (purposely) forget about that and turn him into this tragic, romantic hero.

Author's Response: Hi, Jess! *waves*

Eeep, let me just say that I am not used to writing James Potter. He felt kind of foreign to me and I was a bit worried because everyone's got their own interpretations of his character, and his relationship with Lily. I did my best to insert myself in his position and see how me might react to Severus coming to Cliodna's Clock and throwing a wrench in everything. And oh my goodness, James was /so/ brave. Staring down Voldemort without a wand, it's just...gah. And that's overlooked a lot because Lily died for Harry, but James died for Lily /and/ Harry.

Lily and James forever ♥
To borrow something TenthWeasley once said to me: I ship James/Lily with Severus being all angsty on the side. And while Severus was a reluctant hero of sorts, he was also quite nasty when he wanted to be, which was basically all the time.

Thank you muchly for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #15, by cazvalleygirl 

31st May 2012:
You have achieved what J.K Rowling failed to do...You made James Potter sexy!!! : )

I really, really enjoyed the whole James/Lily scene which is a huge first for me. I have very little interest in reading the marauder era so maybe I am not the best to judge; but honestly, your James is the best James I have ever read. His passion for his wife really added to his character I loved the line ‘“He’s going to try to work his way under your skin,” James said, lightly kissing her neck. He wiped away a lock of hair that had fallen over her shoulder, lips turning up into a smile of relief when he felt her pulse quicken. At least she still belonged to him, for now.’ I LOVED IT!

And I totally sympathised with him about not wanting to lose Lily in the Devil’s duel. This whole chapter has just made me see him in a different light so thanks for that! I may even read a good marauder’s tale if you could recommend any? Since I posted my own story Beautiful Within, which just happens to be a Dramione, I have read almost nothing but Draco/Hermione stories…UNTIL I FOUND THIS! : )

Anyway back on track! James really does HATE Snape doesn’t he? I can understand this to a certain degree and however much I adore Severus every bad thing James said about him was true…But he did keep Harry alive. Maybe he feels some sort of gratitude and for that he loathes him more? I’m not sure but I think Lily’s reaction is totally realistic. I cannot speak for all women, but even us who are happily married still get flattered by other’s attention. I don’t think that makes Lily a bad person at all! I think she should speak to Snape, she owes him that much.

I adore your Cedric! I really do. And I hope his friendship with Fred grows. It would be nice if they had one another.

Anyway, thanks again for updating so quickly and for yet another superb chapter. Charlotte : ) x

Author's Response: SEXY JAMES POTTER, GASP. XD

I feel so accomplished that I converted you to James-appreciation, because writing James is a first for me. Before this story, I had zero interest in writing James/Lily. I do like reading them when they're well-written, but honestly it's kind of hard to find characterizations of them where Lily isn't a condescending fire-breathing dragon and James isn't drooling over Lily, tripping over his shoes. My favorite marauders story is In the Black by TenthWeasley (you can find this story in my favorites), as well as its WIP sequel, In the Red. They're brilliantly written - they're about a girl who is friends with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but is in love with Severus Snape. I also love a story called Amaranthine, which is a James/Lily one-shot by Celestie. I'm sure I have other favorite Marauder-y things, but I'm all hyped up on coffee and can't think of them.

James was right about everything he said about Snape; and as far as the Longbottoms are concerned, Snape should be held accountable for those actions. In my opinion, though, he redeemed himself and them some by coming through for Harry in the end. He might not have been pleasant to the boy, but he saved him and for that, both Potters owe him a nice big thank-you.

Fred and Cedric both need a friend, so they'd better just get along. -shakes fist at them- XD

Thank you for reading and reviewing!!


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Review #16, by TenthWeasley 

30th May 2012:
I love how you wrote James in this! And this just goes to show how awesome it is when people who really get the Marauders try and write them. He seems mature here, which I'd expect him to be after getting married and having a baby. I just get so frustrated when people are unrealistic, but anyway, taking a deep breath and moving on. :) He's got a legitimate fatherly air about him, and that's basically what I'm trying to say -- when people realize James was twenty when he had Harry, their perspective of him changes from as it was in the books, when he gets talked about like he died at, say, forty. He loops right back into that sort of immature teen-boy mode that people seem to think Sirius exemplifies. It's that bridge connecting canon and reality that I admire.

And, of course, your views on Snape, which was very much you talking through the mouths of James and Lily. :D We've had enough discussions on that subject, I reckon! But that of course means that I know how you see him too -- realistically, really, or as realistically as you can see a fiction character. That's a feat, you know -- it's not an easy thing to write FICTION with such realism. People say it is and then you get things like -- well, maybe I shouldn't say. Nothing specific comes to mind, but knowing me I'd blatantly be paraphrasing someone's story. ANYWAY. Realism. Yes. I enjoy it. :3

Poor, poor Fred. I feel like he's gotten a bit more somber in death -- he doesn't have his partner in crime to back him up and as such his thoughts seem a bit moodier (although admittedly, he's got the Duel to worry about). I know what he and Cedric were talking about at the end there, with that incongruity of logic; that's a very human thing to think, even if we don't always know it consciously. I knew exactly what you were getting at.

CEDRIC. ♥ He is perfectly in character. And if I wanted to write I bet you would have made me want to write him again. :D (Woe is me, what is happening to meee.) Lovely chapter, as always, and I am not even going to bother reading it over because there is still lots and lots and lots of coffee in me, and it probably is a hot mess up there.

♥ You're an amazing author. You really are. I both love and hate writing alongside you for that reason! :D

Author's Response: This story is somewhat difficult to write because I don't write any of the Marauders exactly as I would if I were writing an actual Marauders story, back in the first wizarding war when they were all alive. I sometimes feel nervous when people say that someone or other is well-written canon-wise, because from my perspective, they're not canon at all. Like, I love Sirius. Really, I do, but I don't write him at all the same as I would had I been writing about him while he was still alive. Instead of making him be exactly the same person as he was in the books, I asked myself who he might /become/ if he were put in this situation. The afterlife has changed some of the characters, Sirius included. James, however, has this push and pull between the complacency of immortality (at least for now) and worrying about Harry and Lily. All of the worrying has prevented him from reverting back to his youth like Sirius is trying to do. All Sirius wants, in this story, is to go back to the days when he was happiest - young and carefree with his best friends. I see him as a bit delusional.

Wow that is some cereal rambling up there. I am sure you are not interested in all of that tosh, but anyway~

Snape. ♥ lol, using James as my personal soapbox. I think it's safe to say that if James knew his son was being bullied, he'd be peeved - especially if the bully was James's old arch-nemesis and a middle-aged man at that. I love Snape, and what I love the most about him are his flaws. It wouldn't be fair to his character to paint him in a way that's not true to himself.

Yeah, Fred's not as chipper as he once was. I'd say that adjusting to death after being thrown into a foreign island you can't escape from would do that to you, especially since all of his friends and family's back home and he went and signed up for the Duel like an idiot. Seeing as how far he and George went to try to get into the Triwizard Tournament, I couldn't /not/ make him enter his name, though, and I'm rambling again.

Fact: I only ever write Cedric at all because of you. Every time I write a scene with him I'm like, "WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING FOR RACHEL, HOPE SHE LIKES IT". So you can keep that in mind for future Cedric scenes. :3




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Review #17, by WitnesstoitAll 

30th May 2012:
I know you had said that this chapter was a long one, and I know the table of contents said this chapter was over five thousand words -- but when I got to the end, I was surprised. I could have happily continued reading because your writing is that good, that enthralling. Honeslty, woman. I don't even know where to start in this review.

You James. Be still my beating heart. I feel like James gets a short deal in canon -- always being over shadowed by his wife. "oh harry you look like your dad, BUT YOU HAVE YOUR MUM'S EYES." If you know what I mean. It was so refreshing to get a look inside of James' head. To hear him tick. He's such a good guy. Your opening bit, before James starting speaking to Lily was heart breaking. This little bit in particular really struck me:

James was so, so proud of him. The knowledge of what Harry had to endure throughout his life brought tears to his eyes, not out of anguish but out of triumph. His infant son, small enough to cradle in the crook of his arm…savior of the world.

And I wanted to hug James. His conversation with Lily -- how they had to set their wands aside, how they were sort of fighting, but at the same time not, how he pulled lily into himself and how she realized her own faults though she didn't outright admit it to her husband... it was so realistic. They felt like a real couple, and not just two characters thrown together for the purposes of a story. Brilliance, I say.

And just as I was finishing the James/Lily scene and thought it couldn't get any better, a Fred and Cedric scene happens. lakjoiwejfwoie. I feel for Fred, I really do -- not being able to sleep in the silence of the boarding house, in the comfort of a fresh mattress. It was so real to me. I am a huge sucker for Fred Weasley, you know this, but I think I love him even more now. I am happy he got a chance to talk to Cedric, the boy needs a friend, and I'm glad that they sort of shared an underdstanding of this and compared notes even though they were each other's competition. Bromance, yo. I think my favorite part of the Fred scene though was when you broke down what the Weasley family would think of his choice to risk his soul in the duel. This bit:

"The only person Fred knew without a shadow of a doubt would understand why Fred had made such a reckless move, was George. George, Fred sensed, would have done the exact same thing."

The Weasley twins are the best. Hands down. The fan fic world spends so much of it's fred!george angsting energy focusing on George missing his twin, that you don't see this angle very often. Fred is just as lost and alone with out George. Thank you for reminding me of that.

As always, your discription is brilliant times a billion. When Fred and Cedric walk outside into the night, I can see and hear it and I can taste the ocean air. It's all so real in my mind -- you are a sorceress of words. :P My favorite bit of imagery... was this simple sentance:

The next day was years and years away, and impossibly, the day after that felt startlingly close. Fred and Cedric decided not to question the incongruity of this logic, or to question anything at all.

Like, I don't even know why... but that feeling, I know that feeling and have never realized that's what it was. you articulated something that I have never quite been able to even bring to my conciousness. Sarah, this story is a gem and a half. I hope you know that. The way you continually shift points of view and craft this world, it's really a work of art and you should be really proud of it.

xoxo
Melissa

Author's Response: Mel, you always know the best things to say. ♥

I was a wee bit worried about the word count. I'd say that my biggest writing flaw, I think, is my inability to recognize extraneous material. I get it into my head that if someone sneezes, it's essential to the plot. Therefore, I cut pretty much nothing. I never have any idea whether or not I've included stuff that I could have done without. Rambling~

You're so right about James getting a raw deal. The focus is always on Lily because she protected Harry in his crib. Everyone tends to forget that James was the one who yelled at her to take Harry and run, full well knowing that he was definitely about to die. If it wasn't for James, Lily wouldn't have gotten that two-second head start. The whole family would've been smithereens. James is a hero. He died for Harry just as much as Lily died for Harry, if that makes any sense. Since I admittedly do focus more on Lily than James in this story, it was nice to be able to see James's point of view.

Fred and George. ♥ George angsting over Fred is pretty common, but that goes both ways. The only difference is that George has no idea what's happened to Fred - if he even still exists - while Fred has a pretty good idea of what George is up to. He has all the mental images he needs - the Burrow, WWW and their flat, etc. In this way, it's easier for Fred than it is for George, in my opinion, but also harder because George still has the rest of his family and friends while Fred has been on the solitary side.

Mel, I am so mushy with feels. ♥ You are such a lovely reviewer. :')


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Review #18, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

30th May 2012:
Gah! Brilliant! I so love James and Lily's relationship and was excited to see part of the chapter focused on them! I like how Lily feels about Snape's devotion to her, how she likes he feels that way, though feels bad for doing so - that was different but very good/realistic!
And Fred! Ha... “A racket?” Cedric arched one eyebrow, eyes darting to his book. “Sorry if I was turning the pages too loudly. I’ll try to keep it down.” This made me laugh :) Oh Fred, you're not to subtle and I love Cedric's reaction.
As always, can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi again! Yay! I love James and Lily's relationship, too. :) I was a little intimidated to write them because most people have their own idea of Lily and James, and those images kind of vary since we don't know an excessive amount of detail about them in canon. I did enjoy weaving my own vision of the Potter couple.

Realism is definitely what I'm going for. Only a saint wouldn't feel flattered that someone was attracted to them. Even if one doesn't return those feelings, it's hard to not feel pleased about it.

Fred is still coming into his own here, adjusting. He's been a bit proud up until this point, but he's just sort of throwing in the towel and going, "Okay, that's it. I need some friends." XD Bromance ftw.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!


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