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24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StoryWebber 

9th April 2014:
Wow!
Amazing idea for the contest!
This was brilliant - totally, completely, sheerly brilliant!
And thank you - thank you for taking Lily out of the contest...
I couldn't bear it if she died!

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Review #2, by marauder5 

23rd March 2013:
This was absolutely brilliant. I'm astonished by your fantastic writing every time I return to this story to find out what will happen. I can only dream of becoming as good a writer as you are someday.

The chapter was intriguing. I like the fact that you revealed why Snape and Pettigrew entered the Races, and I suppose you revealed why James did too. He wanted to defeat Lily before the final rounds, so that she wouldn't die. It seems like something that James would do, and I thought it was perfect.

I keep speculating about which two people it will come down to in the end. My latest theory is that it will Snape and James, and that Snape will sacrifice himself for Lily, so that she'll get to keep her husband. I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out :)

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much!!

You're correct, James wanted to get in there and throw Lily out of the races while he still had the chance. He is trying to keep her safe since she doesn't have the good sense and clarity to keep herself safe.

Snape and James would be a fun match for the end, but since they're on the same team it can't be them in the final round. The last round will be one person one one team, Victus, vs. one person on the opposite team, Mortuus.

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review!


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Review #3, by x3CherryWatermelonx3 

26th January 2013:
I absolutely loved this chapter! I honestly can't wait to see what the other duels are like.

The part with Severus, James, and Lily was incredible. Although it's interesting to see Lily out in the first round, I'm intrigued to see how Lily will react, and how future duels will go with James and Severus.

Also, the part with Peter! I'm really glad that you showed him in the sort of light that J.K. Rowling herself had given him. It'll be interesting to see how Sirius and others will take it!

Okay, time to move on to the next chapter! See you then! :D

Author's Response: It was essential to kick Lily out in the first round because 1) No one would be expecting it and 2) This way, predictions are up in the air. It's anyone's game now that she's gone.

Peter's proven himself capable of being a threat, but is constantly underestimated.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by LillyRoseanne 

18th January 2013:
Very interesting I must say... Loving your characterisations and well, just everything really :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Review #5, by justonemorefic 

2nd January 2013:
Lily you saucy wench. Literally.

And then Cedric with his -- omg did he really bring up Quidditch. -shakes him- Cedric get a life (badumtssh).

And Peter all clever and out to prove himself. Still trying to impress the boys in death. no one knows how to let gooo. Hah, trying to pickpocket. You are still as stupid as ever, rat. The crewman patted at his suddenly heavy pocket, discovering his money and key. I loved this detail.

OH MY GOD. LILY'S OUT. OMG THAT WAS THE MOST. HEARTBREAKING. Okay lies, there are so many heartbreaking moments in this entire fic that I can't even choose. But Snape looking at her, wanting to see her when he can't /see/ her, and their short exchange, I HEARD SO MUCH BUT THERE WERE ONLY THREE LINES OF DIALOGUE??? And James' taking her out was really so bittersweet, and I don't know how to tell you how vividly I saw -- and felt -- everything.

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: lololol originally I had Lily wearing much worse, and then I was like IS THIS TOS? CAN I GET INTO TROUBLE FOR MAKING HER LOOK LIKE A PROSTITUTE. So I diluted it a little.

Peter is a bit of a dark horse here. Everyone had him pinned as easy to beat, but he's an expert at self-preservation.

AND LILY'S OUT. SO MUCH FOR TONKS vs. LILY. I love twists. :3 If I'd kept Lily in, she would have dominated everything. Now that she's out, there's no telling who will win and who will lose. Except for you. You could tell because you already know.



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Review #6, by Akussa 

2nd September 2012:
Oh wow.

I had my doubts that Lily would be the first one to go but I didn't honestly believe you would actually go for it!! As for Rufus, well that one was the easy one out of that team (although I still don't know why he wanted to go back to earth!!). I mean, we want Tonks to get to the end, and Fred and even Cedric because we know what they have to get back to. We also want Peter to stay there longer so he can suffer (ok, maybe that's just me.) but Rufus, there was nothing really "hooking" him to the game in my mind.
In the other team, my idea is that James will want to make Severus suffer and he'll want to stay till the end so he can "kill" Peter for good. But aside from that, I can't really make up a bigger picture in this group. I mean, Colin, it's not that I want him to win, it's more that I don't want him to lose and "die"!! And Vincent, well I'm at a loss for him as well because, once again, I don't know what motivates him to go back to earth so it's hard to root for him (that interview was just SO insightful! I actually laughed out loud during it; has Rita Skeeter died as well and I don't know?).

This was a brilliant first challenge. I love how you made everything flow effortlessly from one character to the other; one team to the other. It was really easy to read through this chapter even if it could have been pretty tedious considering the task you had set for yourself (two different teams that appear invisible but are in the same scene; characters that don't look like themselves and surrounded by decoys...). I also really enjoyed the many different points of view you gave us. It gave us an insight into some characters thoughts patterns and helped know of their strenghts and weaknesses.

Finally, the detailing of the scene was amazing. The boat felt so real and the decoys and other "looks" of the characters was so easy to imagine. Once again, your gift for detailing and description is what made this chapter so wonderful. Everything comes to life and is just so beautiful and (smelly?) like a dream; I love it!

Author's Response: Lily was a strategic move: I knew that a lot of readers would be expecting her to make it to the final round, since her track record in the Duels is exceptionally good. So kicking her out, in the first round, no less, was a twist I couldn't resist. Rufus, I'd say, probably just wanted to see how things were running on Earth. Maybe he had family and friends he wanted to visit; who knows.

They're really a motley crue. Some of them, like Tonks, have really obvious reasons for joining up. And some of them either don't want to explain their reasons or their reasons are simply that it's something to do. The afterlife is repetitive; and for a lot of them, they just arrived in the afterlife a short while ago - not nearly long enough to see that the Devil's Duel would be a bad idea. They all jumped on board without realizing what they were getting into. But throughout the story, you will get a glimpse as to why each and every one of them signed up.

I worked very hard to make each round very different from the others, so that they all stand out and involve a different set of problems. I switch POV's frequently during them to show what everyone's doing; they were my favorite chapters to write. :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by noname 

18th August 2012:
This is totally epic. If I were Sev, I'd just jump off the ship :P

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) Baha, you know, I wouldn't have been surprised if he had. Poor Severus. :(

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by shadowycorner 

14th August 2012:
oh.my. what do I say??

Somewhere in the middle of the chapter, I started to guess Lily would be the one to be thrown out. It brings an odd comfort, but it makes my heart clench because now I'll be worried sick about James! And what if he ends up facing Fred? WHAT WILL I DO THEN???

ANYWAY! I read this in a heartbeat, without a pause! It was exciting, perfectly written. You can write anything. Heartbreaking emotions, hilarious moments and then this great action-packed chapter with gorgeous imagery. You win at writing. I'm sad for Severus, but...it's James! -sigh-

I KNEW Peter wasn't in this looking for redemption. He is a rat and he will always stay a rat.

I don't know what to feel, who to root for. Well, I guess I do! I want James and Fred to stay alive the most. I'll even be as heartless and say I care more about James than about Tonks. But then...what will Remus do? And Teddy? That will take her away from him FOREVER! Okay, I take that back!! I don't want Tonks to lose. Really, Snape or Peter could, but that seems just too easy and too happy-ending-y, as twisted as that sounds(sorry for making up ridiculous words). Or Crabbe could go, I couldn't really care less about him at this point, but I'm surprised he didn't just slip on the deck and fall off the ship by himself. I really doubt he'd be able to get too far.

My eyes hurt from staring wide-eyed at the computer screen and your chapter, but I think I can do one more chapter before my heart bursts from excitement and heartache and suspense and all these feelings!

Author's Response: I really love writing rounds - I've made all five of them very different, with their own little rules and objectives. I'm glad you liked this one. :)

Lily's had enough time to shine, so I wanted her to have to sit this one out. Let someone else have a turn at those 24 hours.

I'm kind of floored that you read this all in one go! Some of my chapters are pretty long, and the duel chapters are always at least 5,000 words, so I applaud you for hanging in there!

Peter was a conniving little coward for a great many years, so I don't think that a month in the afterlife is going to reverse all of that. He's still the same sniveling rat he ever was.

Oooh, I love seeing who people are rooting for! Bahaha, it's very amusing for me to see all of those thoughts on who deserves to win and who the readers are indifferent about enough that they don't care if they die. I don't trust myself to comment, so I'll zip my lips. :3

Aww, I'm so excited that you're still reading this! And I'm absolutely thrilled to get these reviews - they're so thorough and detailed and encouraging beyond belief. Thank you so much. :)


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Review #9, by maskedmuggle 

22nd July 2012:
HYPERVENTILATING FROM THE SHEER AWESOMENESS OF THIS CHAPTER!!! I seriously read through that so fast going d;alksdfja;lsdk so exciting!! I honestly do not know how to express just how much amazingness this chapter contains. Okay warning: there will be lots of exclamation marks in this review if it wasn't apparent yet.

YEAH!! I got Rufus right!! :D (He seemed a lot less smart than I would have assumed he'd be) But I definitely did not expect Lily to go at all, let alone that drama with JAMES doing it!! But I think it'll certainly leave more intrigue when we get to the final duel because I certainly believed there would be no way Lily would lose in the final! With so many characters and all 10 of them different characters I really, really have to congratulate you on not only having this chapter make sense but making it so incredible. From the start I was pleasantly surprised - I have to admit I was not expecting Tonks to be a house elf, and unfortunately, the truth is that I thought they would all be humans which just goes to show how limited I was thinking and how creative you were - I loved how she was a house elf, and how Colin was a goblin!! The characters everyone had were quite clever honestly!

I absolutely adored Cedric here - as the captain (haha), and his strategic thinking was so clever! I thought he was smart, but so too was PETER. From the last chapter when you mentioned they'd all take on different characters and wouldn't know who was who, I thought Peter might change into a rat - and he did here! If I were Peter I would have just turned into a rat and hidden until the game was over. But gosh, stealing the wallet and causing Rufus to attack like that, and then attacking him? He might not look like it but he's definitely sly.. and yeah James, don't underestimate him! POOR SEVERUS :'( I'm a very strong James/Lily shipper but ahh I just feel so sorry for him at the end! So this was yet another brilliant chapter - definitely one of my favourites so far just because of the excitement of what happens here. I can't wait to see what the other rounds look like! Your writing makes me so happy to read!! :D

- Charlotte

Author's Response: HAHA, thank you!! Oh my goodness, I've been waiting to hear your response to Round One and I've admittedly been a bit nervous about it. I try very hard to make the duels interesting, so it's a big relief to hear that it was well-received.

You did predict Rufus! Well done! XD

Heee, knocking Lily out of the tournament in the first round was something I was hoping no one would expect. :3 I must say I am pleased that it surprised you. I couldn't resist the opportunity to make them into different creatures as well as people - like Tonks and Colin. They weren't featured very heavily in this chapter, especially Colin (there were way too many characters and unfortunately I couldn't focus evenly on them all for the sake of plot), but I love including non-humans in fanfic. They often go neglected in fanfic. :(

Cedric as a captain. XD Bahaha, Cedric's got a clever mind and he's definitely learned a few tricks by observing past Devil's Duels. And Peter! Everyone seems to underestimate Peter, but considering all that he got away with for so many years, he's a lot smarter than he lets on. I was excited to highlight that in this chapter.

Oh my goodness, this review. -hugs it- I must've read it at least five times already. Thank you so, so much. :) :) :)


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Review #10, by peppersweet 

19th June 2012:
She was falling, standing, and also sitting still Ė three contradictory poses Ė and before she could figure out which one was real, the many pairs of eyes all around her had blinked, now hanging in blackness as stars. - your description and the way you write: hnnng.

I love this whole ship thing but I am kind of too engrossed in this chapter to type much I'm sorry

oh my god so many unexpected feels at the ends of that chapter!

on and on and on...



Author's Response: Baww thank you. I AM TO PLEASE. ♥

lol you are amusing when you type reviews while reading quickly. Feely feels! Feely Snape/Lily/James/forever alone feels!

we!

owl goes hoot hoot, dog looks at him and shakes his head no, this is not the proper time for flirting from tree perches.


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Review #11, by pennyardelle 

18th June 2012:
I breathed the BIGGEST sigh of relief when Lily was out of the duel. I was honestly so worried about the possibility of it coming down to her and Tonks, because it would have been heart-wrenching to see either of them lose the chance at seeing their sons again. Thank goodness James and Lily were on the same team, or else I would have been petrified about it coming down to the two of them, as well. I don't think I could have handled that. D: I can't help but wonder who it will end up being in the final two. I feel like it could be interesting to see Snape against Peter. I have this horrible feeling that James will accidentally end up in it, despite efforts not to. OH NO, what if it's him against Tonks?! Agh! (You see what this story is doing to me? :P)

Anyway, I loved Peter in this chapter. He is such an intriguing character, and I agree with the qualities you've emphasized in him, especially the fact that he's quite clever in certain ways.

This entire chapter was just fantastically bizarre, with everyone having double identities. Really well-written! (By the way, I just happened to be reading some of this while the Inception soundtrack was on in the background...awesome combination.)

Author's Response: I think Lily needed a wake-up call. There's only so many times that you can tempt fate and win, after all, so being eliminated could be good for her. A few people have theorized that James will be in the final two. It's such fun to see everyone's thoughts on who might go head to head in the end. Of course, I can't really comment on it, though.

Peter's a clever little rat. I think that his old friends were too hasty to underestimate him.

Fantastically bizarre is definitely what I was going for! When I started plotting the settings for the Devil's Duel, I went back to what people said about the Triwizard Tournament, and that it was designed to test them. I'm trying to give each round its own set of challenges so that players (and readers :3) won't be able to predict what's coming up next.

I've written this story to several different soundtracks, this particular chapter being the DH part 2 one, but gahh! Inception! Why haven't I ever thought of that. I definitely know what I'll be listening to when I write this evening. :D


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Review #12, by Hogwarts27 

14th June 2012:
Great chapter! With the life history between Lily, James, and Snape, you could hardly go wrong no matter how this ended up. I was keeping an open mind so it didn't bother me that Lily got eliminated. I thought it very fitting that Severus saw this as James taking Lily from him again as Snape's love obsession takes over in the moment. And Lily still avoids having to tell Snape the uneasy truth. When I got to the end, the thought occurred to me that you could decide to play a really cruel trick on Snape by having him be the final winner yet only get to see Lily's green eyes on Harry's face when he revisits earth life.

Author's Response: Ever since reading about The Prince's Tale, I've been curious about how Snape, James, and Lily would deal with each other in the afterlife. An afterlife was definitely alluded to in canon, what with Dumbledore at King's Cross and the Resurrection Stone, so in canon, some kind of confrontation would be inevitable. I don't think it would be an easy experience for any of the parties involved. I feel so awful for Snape because he can't really win here. And oh, that would be such a cruel trick! :( :(

Thank you so much for reading and for leaving these thorough, marvelous reviews! They've seriously made my month!


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Review #13, by Ardeith 

25th May 2012:
Wow! Great chapter! (I think I say that each time...) Your description of the Admiral Murman was so good and so real, I loved it going under the sea in its bubble...so creative!

And you pulled off what could have been a disaster...10 characters, all "disguised" as someone else on two different teams. When you started with Tonks as elf and Lily as ...let's say ..sleazy lady, I thought I would never be able to keep it straight, but you made it all easy to follow. I don't know how!

I enjoyed the glimpse of Peter and his motivations. Peter's motives are pretty neglected in fanfiction and I look forward to seeing what you do with him.

And the twist! I'm sure especially when you got rid of the completely predictable Scrimgeour, following the rule of the least known character goes first, everyone assumed it would be Crabbe who went out. Personally, I'm glad...it's time for someone else to win the duel! :-)

You're awesome, too! :-)

Ardeith

Author's Response: Hey, Ardeith!

lol Lily as sleazy lady. Yeah, that's a pretty fitting description. Going into this chapter, I had no idea how I was going to jump from character to character. It kind of just took on a life of its own.

Peter's motives are often neglected, indeed. People like to pretend he didn't exist because he turned out bad and because he was never attractive.

Move aside, Lily! Heehee. I'd say she's already had her turn in the spotlight.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by Jess the Enthusiast 

18th May 2012:
Where can I acquire updating skills like yours?!?!? This is fantastic! I feel truely spoiled that each week I get to read a new brilliant chapter of this story!
So I've been really excited for the first round of the duel and I was not disappointed! It was really well-written and I love the way you describe everything - I can totally picture everything in my head.
And the direction you took this story is definitely not the way I thought you were going to and I'm really glad for that. I mean, who wants to read a predictable story? But, although surprised, I am very glad that Lily's out of the running (James is a dead man by the way; she is going to KILL him). I've been so worried that she was going to be the one who loses their soul; I just figured that she's already won 13 times so she's kind of pushing her luck, you know? James must really want to take someone out (Peter probably) to do that to her though. But now that I'm not worried about Lily, I'm worried about James! I CAN'T WIN.
Peter is different in every story I read, and I really like your take on him. He's definitely not someone to underestimate and the Marauders have now made the mistake of forgetting that not once, but now twice. He's much more dangerous than they think and he's bound to be bitter for being viewed as weak, little Peter.
I hate him; I hope he dies.
So I LOVE this story and I LOVE this chapter. I'm so excited for the next chapter!!! 10/10 :D

Author's Response: I've been writing like it's the end of the world because if I don't marathon-write a WIP, it inevitably dies. My window of maximum interest is pretty short-lived, and if I take a break for more than two weeks, I will probably never come back to it. So I write because I love it, but I write fast because it's the only way to keep it alive.

It seems that a lot of people were worried about Lily's soul! It appears that she is safe for the moment; and you're right, James is not going to be received with many smiles. Lily really, truly is pushing her luck. Thirteen times is kind of baffling, so it's like daring karma to make her reap what she's sowed. While she won't consider her elimination from the races a good thing, she should appreciate how lucky she really is to have made it out alive.

Peter's got a lot of resentment. He was never as popular or smart or well-liked as Sirius and James. Remus wasn't super-charismatic, either, but at least he was smart. Peter was sort of just in the way. That's bound to take its toll on you, and I think that's why Peter was able to distance himself far enough from his friends emotionally to be able to help kill them.

Thank you for reading and for your marvelous review! :) :) :)


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Review #15, by Marissa 

17th May 2012:
I have to say, you're absolutely incredible! Gosh how many times I wanted to rip out of my seat and strangle the characters (James) but *ahem* that would be slightly odd...

Lily and Snape were THIS CLOSE to talking! I am an avid James/Lily shipper but lord how I want them to have their fated conversation so that Lily can thank Snape for keeping her son alive all those years. And THEN- y'know- James can kick butt.

I was so shocked when you cast Lily off. I literally had to read over about three times to make sure I wasn't reading wrong. It was pure gold on your part of course because now we readers expect nothing and you're free to be the literary genius that you are.

And of course, I can't ignore the Lily-James-Snape ending. Absolutely beautiful.

xoxo

Author's Response: Hello, Marissa!

Thank you! And I feel your pain. These characters can be pretty frustrating at times. They just do what they want to do.

Snape has waited an eternity and a half to say his piece to Lily. It seems that he is forever thwarted - first, she didn't want to listen to him, and then before her death she didn't want anything to do with him, and now that they're both dead, she's still avoiding him and James is still winning. Poor Severus. :(

Hee, I love plot twists. XD And I'm massively pleased that I was able to surprise you all. Now you're going to be on the lookout for curve balls, so I'll have to be craftier. :3

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by WitnesstoitAll 

17th May 2012:
OH MO GOODNOSS, SOROH.

This was just... I can't even, wow. I firstly want to say that I so called the James/Lily/Severus plot, and am thrilled with how that played out. Now the men will have to fight it out against one another in the next round. I'm sure Lily will be upset with James for throwing her out of the running, but I do hope he is careful and takes place of himself. Same with Cedric and Fred and Colin. I loved all the plotty strategy here, and loved seeing how each of the characters approached the competition. Peter surprised me with his strategy at first, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. He's always been crafty and all about self preservation. If he wins at the cost of a character I care for, I'll never forgive the marauders for forcing him to enter. -__-

I cannot wait to read what comes next, I'm nervous and anxious and lkasjfdoaiwe. I don't think I'm going to handle the coming rounds well. lol.

This was fabulous as always, and I'm crossing my fingers that I'm review numero 200.

xoxo

Author's Response: MOLOSSO ♥

James/Lily/Severus, squee. THINGS ARE NOT PANNING OUT SO WELL FOR OUR FRIEND LILY. OR FOR SEVERUS. OR JAMES, REALLY.

Eee, plotty strategy. It was so fun to get into people's heads and make them look at everyone like a potential enemy. The mystery, the working out who is who, was /such fun/ for me to write.

YOU WILL HEAR MORE ABOUT PETER AND THE MARAUDERS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YAY. :3

In other news, this coffee tastes like popcorn.

What comes next will probably feel boring until we get to the next round. I think that most of the normal chapters will feel very slow and underwhelming in comparison to round chapters because no one's trying to banish someone else. Usually. Lulz.

Melissa, have I ever told you that you are the ritz cracker to my peanut butter?





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Review #17, by TooMuchMagic 

17th May 2012:
Okay first off, starting with Tonks as a house elf was brilliantly amusing. I didn't even think that the contestants could have manifested as non-humans! Silly me...

"Fred had been doing his job so thoroughly that he might have forgotten he was in a tournament" - Haha ha! I laughed so hard at this. It seems so appropriate of Fred. :P

I thought this chapter was amazing. I felt like I was actually ON the Admiral Murman, sleuthing along with the others, which was bloodpumping and all kinds of exciting. Such an adrenaline rush, reading this was! I feel like I should go for a jog now.

AND I was so stunned that Lily got the boot. In the first round, too! I expected her to go on to the final round yet again, but that would have been too obvious, I guess (I can't wait to see who does, omg!).

That bit at the end, where James carefully casts Lily off the ship and Severus watches them, was a really tender moment in the chapter. It was a nice way to end it :) I'm so excited for the other rounds now, I hope they're all as incredible as this one!! 10/10 x

Author's Response: Hello again!

I try to mention magical creatures who aren't given much face-time in other fanfiction stories. Elves are largely ignored aside from mentions of students popping into the Hogwarts kitchens and seeing elves there. That's why it was fun for me to turn Tonks into an elf and Colin into a goblin - the magical world isn't just stocked with witches and wizards, which people sometimes seem to forget.

lol, Fred. I think that while it might have seemed this way to Cedric, Fred was really just doing his best to blend in. We'll see what Fred's thought process in the Duel is like later. :3

What you said about feeling like you were actually on the Admiral Murman really, really made my month. I could not have hoped for a better response than that. My favorite thing about reading is feeling like I've been transported somewhere else, and more than anything that is what I wanted to achieve myself with this story. It's like inviting guests to one of my daydreams.

Lily's pride is probably a bit wounded at the moment. A 13-time champion, and she didn't even make it to Round Two. Just goes to show that there is something to be said for going head-to-head against someone who knows you extremely well. It was probably quite effortless for James to spot Lily and subsequently throw her out.

I love James/Lily so much, but I always root for Severus, too, so it's a struggle because poor Severus loves this woman and he can't have her. He can't even dream about having her because she's right there in the flesh, in love with someone else. It would be a hard truth. :(

I can't wait to get to the other rounds! I think they're going to be my favorite parts to write.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!!


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Review #18, by Aderyn 

17th May 2012:
Hello once more!

So--This chapter is quite interesting. I adore the world that you've created in this memory. While the Titanic would have been cool, as I said before, this is both more original, and more plausible. I love the descriptions of how the ship goes underwater, and the strange sea creates. It has a very otherworldly feel to it all. It's also very dark and creepy, with the dragon's and thestral's wings for sails. Honestly, how do you come up with this stuff? I'm so, so impressed. You do the best job using the setting of the story to set the mood for the action.

Also, there were some questions answered in this, which was good- most interesting, I think, was why Peter entered. That makes perfect sense, actually. He is too much of a coward to risk it for himself, but I could see Remus, Sirius and James being angry that he didn't end up in the Grotta after all the harm he brought to their families. There was a line in that description though, that struck me as a bit odd: "Mrs. Potter rip Peterís soul limb from limb." Does a soul have a body to rip apart? I understand it's a figure of speech, but do you mean soul as in what he is now, or soul as in his consciousness?

One thing that I guess I have to say is that this seemed rushed at times. I'm impressed that you managed to fit so many perspectives in, but during the transitions, the voice of a narrator seemed to emerge where there hadn't been one before. I mean, it must be hard to go through about 8 different POVs in one chapter, but there were times when I had to reread to realize what had happened. I like how you set it up, almost like a movie, where you switch from the POV of one person that that of a minor character in the background of the scene, but I think there were just a few times where it wasn't executed flawlessly.

That being said, I feel horribly sorry for Severus. That last line... I mean, this scene that has little to do with romance on the surface becomes this very symbolic moment for him. Your descriptions get particularly lyrical at the end, which is wonderful. (I think that that was what got lost, a little bit, when you were switching POVs, but it's wonderful writing here.)

And now- for who got eliminated, as I can saw is wow. I got the sense that this was not going to be a normal year, but I never would have thought Lily would be out in the first round, and by James, no less. I wonder why he did it...to protect her, I'm assuming, but he could have removed Snape just as easily and he chose her. Still, I guess it shows that when Lily's surrounded by people she loves, she can't really be as ruthless. And Rufus, I guess I had less of an expectation for the other team, but still, it shows that Peter is craftier than he looks. Really, all of them are forces to be reckoned with.

I can't wait to read more now. I wonder what subsequent rounds will be like, as well. Do they all get a chance to rest, between rounds, or will it be 5 straight chapters of the competition? I think it would be great to see everyone's reactions to all of this. Oh and random question, are injuries sustained in the competition lasting? So if Rufus is hurt, will he be hurt when he comes out?

Also, I just wanted to let you know that you have had the honor of being my 300th review--twice. How is this possible? Well, my review on chapter 11 was my 300th, and then when I checked today, it said I had only 299 (so probably someone deleted their story, or something) and thus your story gets to be my 300th review two times, which seems only fitting, since it's so awesome! :D

Once again, this chapter reaffirms why I love this story so much. Your creativity astounds me.

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for stopping by my story again!

Eee, thank you. XD Building the setting is one of my favorite parts of the writing process. Atmosphere plays a powerful part in how dialogue is given and received, and the mood of the characters, etc. In order to make the characters feel uneasy about their surroundings, I've got to show them why first.

Peter being forced into the tournament is a direct result of his little meet-up with Remus on the street in an earlier chapter. You'll see more about the how's and why's of this ordeal in the next chapter, actually. The bit about ripping Peter's soul limb from limb is mostly figurative - if he were to lose in the end, his soul would be destroyed, but Lily wouldn't be the one literally doing it.

There were definitely places in this chapter where things moved very quickly. If I'd slowed it down and shoved more filler into the transitions, it wouldn't do anything constructive for the plot. I wanted to tell the story exactly as I saw it happen in my head, and some characters and background scenes had to be skipped in order to keep everything on track. I do apologize if it was jarring. With your feedback in mind, I did go back and tweak two of the transitions. I added about a paragraph to the transition from Peter to Rufus, and then a couple of sentences to a later transition with Lily. I think they're slightly improved now, so thank you very much for your honesty. I like the new transitions a lot better and I hope they make the switches between POV's less confusing.

I'll be elaborating on James's actions on the ship in a later chapter, so I won't give much away here. But I will say that James knew what he was doing. And you're right, Lily's not nearly as ruthless as she wants to be. She was surprised - caught of guard - and that can mean your downfall if an opponent sees.

The subsequent rounds are something I am VERY stoked to get to! There will be resting chapters between all of them - probably at least three normal chapters between each duel. Since there is only one duel per week, it would be skipping a lot of time to just write duel after duel. There's still a lot I want to show besides the duels.

Since I won't show this in the next chapter, I'll answer your question about Rufus here. When he gets out of the Duel his head will still hurt, but it will swiftly heal. Cliodna's Clock has a slow-healing effect on even the worst of afflictions, and these temporary ones like Rufus's injuries are easily fixed up - especially with the aid of potions. Each contender will be good as new by the time they go back for Round Two.

300th review! Thank you, that is an honor. :) And congrats on giving so many reviews! Someone keeps deleting stories because my review count has been steadily declining. -___-

Thank you for reading and for the magnificent review!


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Review #19, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

17th May 2012:
YOU.
YOU HAVE JUST SWITCHED EVERYTHING ON ME.
WHAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN DID NOT.

I'm sorry but Lily? HAHAHA! NOT THE GAME WILL REALLY BEGIN.

I knew James signed up because of Snape! AWESOME! It's going to be James vs. Tonks, isn't it? That's what I think now because that would cause SO much drama between Lily/Remus.

Uh. You're too good. Snape! Bless him. I just wanted to hug him. Poor Severus. You know what would be awesome though? If Snape gets beat by James and then when James is in the duel Snape FINALLY gets to talk to Lily face to face since he won't be around.

So many possibilities! And Peter, woo-hoo! You give him a plot that isn't 'I'm Peter. I like cheese. Let me scurry in the background because I'm evil and afraid of everything.'

No, not you! YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

Author's Response: ME.
YES, I HAVE. :3
I AM VERY PLEASED TO HEAR IT.

lol, it's been difficult to keep my mouth shut amid all the speculating that everything would come down to Lily vs. Tonks in the end. I'm pretty sure that no one is more surprised by this turn of events than Lily, who was attacked from behind while she was in the middle of what could have been a really emotional confrontation. JAMES, WHY YOU SO RUDE.

Snape has his eyes peeled for moments of opportunity. James is making it hard for him, but Snape's on a mission. We'll have to see whose willpower prevails!

lol Peter. IT'S SO TRUE, THOUGH. I was reading a fanfic the other day about the Marauders. James, Remus, and Sirius were all on the banner and in the story summary, but Peter was magically missing. He didn't appear until the end of the first chapter, in one measly sentence. And in that sentence, everyone basically glared at him for existing. -___-

YOU ARE WONDERFUL AS WELL. TRUE STORY.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #20, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

17th May 2012:
Ah, oh my god!! Absolutely adored the chapter! So much action! I love it!!
I love how Peter took out Rufus! He can be a cunning one that's for sure - and we never see that with fanfiction Peter. He's always just being lame and cowardly in the background. So I really like your version of him!
Wow definitely did not think that Lily would be out first! Though I do like it was James that did it! What a really good twist! Poor Sev :(
CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE :D Wonderful, as ever. May have mentioned this before but I feel like it has to be said again: you're a FANTASTIC writer :)

Author's Response: Squee!

Action/adventure is my favorite genre to write. It took me a while to figure that out, but looking back on stories I've written, my favorite parts have always been the bits where people are running around in mad chaos.

Fanfiction Peter is pretty lacking, it's true. I've found that in most stories about the Marauders, he's all but invisible - and I've even read some where he didn't exist /AT ALL/. -___- He's a coward, that's for sure - but he's also got a self-preservation streak a mile wide, and he'll do whatever it takes to save his own skin.

Poor Sev, indeed. :( And it's just twice as bad since James did it. Severus really can't win.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. -flails- Your reviews are golden. Here, have some cookies.

*throws lots of cookies*


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Review #21, by cazvalleygirl 

17th May 2012:
Hello, itís me again, the person who is addicted to this wonderful story of yours!

Let me start by congratulating you on what I believe to be your best chapter to date. Honestly, I adored every single paragraph and Iíd just like to put it out there that I am insanely jealous of you writing abilities. I know this may sound bizarre but I honestly cannot tell whether or not you are a fellow Brit or an America! That may sound odd but being British I can usually tell with certain stories the writers origin by the use of their language or slang, but you write like a professional writer and I love that!

The whole idea of the admiral murman is genius! And it most definitely did not disappoint. It was such an action packed chapter that Iím impressed you managed to fit all into 5,000 words lol!

I loved Cedric as captain! Huffelpuff students are known for being loyal and honest and playing fair, not qualities that would be useful in a game like the Devilís Duel I should imagine but after seeing Cedric in this chapter Iím starting to think heís going to play the game a lot cleverer than some of the others. After all he has no children back in the land of the living so he can use his head rather that his heart to further himself in the games.

And poor Fred, heís obviously rather clueless. Iím glad he didnít get knocked out in the first round.

To be truthful Iím glad Rufus has gone. Even though he does seem to be a decent man, heís not someone Iím that interested in reading about. But Peter, the sly old rat is obviously a lot more cunning than his old friends give him credit forÖWill they ever learn!!!

And the last part of this chapter, Snape and LilyÖÖÖ..ARGH! Poor old Sev, heís waited almost seventeen years to speak to Lily and James Potter goes and ruins his moment. I really, really hope Severus beats him lol! I know that sounds horrible because James could have the chance to see Harry but Iíd love Snape to get one over on him lol! Although I do believe that both men were only really in the competition mainly for Lily so perhaps now she has gone they wonít have much will continue?

I must admit I wasnít expecting Lily to leave the races so soon, but I think itíll make for more of an interesting read now she has, it will be far less predictable. And I donít think itís just the races the competitors will have to deal with. Something else seems to be lurking in the shadows, and personally Iím hoping for something involving the Grotta residentsí lol!

Brilliant, awesome, excellent, astounding and the other gushy words I canít think of! Please update soon! Charlotte : ) x

Author's Response: Wooo! Hello again!

Hee, I am American. :) I try to make my HPFF stories as British-sounding as possible because there are some readers out there who will criticize authors to the death for sounding American. The only thing I don't do is British spellings because I know that I would mess up here and there and it would be inconsistent. I have to say that I'm very happy that you weren't sure if I was a Brit or not! I do try very hard to make everyone sound authentic, so it feels like that's paid off. ^ ^

I'm surprised that I managed to fit it into 5,000 words, too! I estimated that it would fall at around 6,000 words, so it was nice that I could show everything I wanted to show without making it super long. I don't know about future rounds, though - I imagine that they'll probably all be long chapters.

You're right about Cedric. I think that people have painted him as a bit of a simpleton, but they forget that Cedric was chosen by the Triwizard Cup - not Harry. And while Harry had the help of "Moody" and his friends, Cedric was mostly on his own. You don't get all the way to the end of the Triwizard Tournament by being a simpleton. The Devil's Duel is harder and there are more challenges and contenders, though, so he's really going to have to give it his all if he wants to stand a chance.

Peter's old friends are forever underestimating him.

BAHAHA, literally laughing out loud about your hopes that Severus will beat James. The response to this has been pretty divided - some people want to see James smash Severus and others want to see Severus get to say his piece to Lily. I can see why both Severus and James are doing what they're doing, so I suppose that in the end Lily will just have to take matters into her own hands if any of them want resolution. I'm very excited to have thrown Lily out of the tournament - now they don't have anyone with specific advantages. It's anyone's game, now!

Thank you for reading and for always stopping by to leave a lovely review. Your reviews are definitely a highlight of my day. :)

- Sarah


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Review #22, by EmilyChristine 

17th May 2012:
SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS STORY I SWEAR. I love lily. I was kinda sad she lost BUT now I don't have to be freaking out and scared that she will die forever because I was so afraid for her. I'm not gonna lie though, definitely didn't expect her to get out that early. SHE'S GONNA BE SO MAD AT JAMES FOR REAL THOUGH. but he loves her! I just love James/Lily

But poor sev :( he's the poster child for forever alone I swear. I feel so bad for him. And Cedric as captian l. LOVE. Haha I was totally suprised that it was Peter who took out Rufus!! Didn't see that coming either.

It's funny, cause I'm cheering for people to win. But at the same time when they lose, I don't feel too bad about it cause that means they're safe. :) can't wait for the next chapter. You're a brilliant author! :D

Author's Response: Baww, I could never kill off Lily. I've got to at least torture her first by making her squirm with all of the James/Severus tension. :3 And James should go find somewhere to hide very quickly because she is not going to be in the most pleasant of moods.

LOL, poster child for forever alone. It's so true, though! I was watching Half-Blood Prince last night and just thinking to myself, "Jeez, he has a miserable existence." And there is no reprieve in death because Lily is /still/ with James. It just really, really sucks to be him.

Peter takes advantage of the fact that no one expects much from him. He's a rat, but he's a cunning one.

It's wonderful to hear that you're cheering for people because it means that I'm doing something right. Nine of them are safe, but one is not. :(

Thank you SO MUCH for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by TenthWeasley 

16th May 2012:
THIS CHAPTER. I JUST. I CAN'T. This review will literally make less than no sense, because at this point I read this chapter about two or three hours ago and it's still freaking blowing my mind. I would call this my favorite chapter to date, but a) that would be the most drastic of drastic understatements, and b) choosing my favorite chapter of yours would be like choosing my favorite breath of air. I LIKE THEM ALL. ♥

I kept seeing the Titanic as I read this, you know. And I adored it because I've read enough ship plans and watched the movie enough (stop laughing) to make it seem real for me, and it was so COOL for me to read this! Especially seeing the characters in their little decoys. CEDRIC AS THE CAPTAIN, WHAT UP WHAT UPPP. Can I please just hug you via the Internet for keeping him in the running. That probably sounds really selfish but I have such feelings of relief running through me right now. ♥

I ACTUALLY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. TOTALLY DID NOT EXPECT LILY TO BE OUT. (Erm, spoiler alert, for anyone who for some reason reads reviews before chapters... That's a bad habit, yo. Stop that.) I completely expected her to make it to the last round! And there's me being unoriginal. I love this way so much better -- you're keeping me on the very tips of my proverbial toes. And oh my gosh, Severus. All the feels. "This would mark the second time James Potter took Lily from him." -- UGH I JUST DIED. I literally gasped aloud sitting at my desk at work, and I felt rather silly but THAT IS SO /SNAPE/. THE ENTIRE THING WAS SOMETHING COMPLETELY STOLEN FROM JKR'S BRAIN, I SWEAR. OH MY GOSHHH.

But James kissed Lily on the forehead and my heart broke into a million shipper pieces because I ship James/Lily with Severus being all angsty on the side. ♥ And I'm feeling all melty just typing it now.

I want to read the next chapter. I literally cannot wait. And maybe if I pester you enough I can get lots of previews but this chapter /destroyed/ my emotions and just thank you so, so, so much for writing this. You should be endlessly proud of it because it's something only you could ever have pulled off with any degree of wellness. And I just love it. And you. And all the things.

SORREH FOR TEH SUCKINESS. ♥ ♥

Author's Response: BAM, LILY'S GONE. HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES. And lulz, I knew you would think that. :3 MUAH HA HA, ALL OF THE TWISTS~

I won't say how, but you had some serious influence on the outcome of this story - the winners and losers of the rounds. You once said something that got my brain thinking and I changed a few things around that had previously been set in stone and this is all so vague but I want you to know that because of your amazing support and things you've mentioned, probably without giving it more than a second thought, there are bits and pieces of you scattered throughout this story. (hug)

OFC Ced was the Captain! I like Cedric. I see him as a boy with a very strong moral compass, and a lot of quiet intelligence, and just a lot of /goodness/, if you know what I mean. He's just all-around a genuinely good person.

Poor Sev. He just can't win. It feels strange to try to navigate all of the goings-on between James, Lily, and Severus because JKR pretty much confirmed that there's an afterlife in canon. I mean, Dumbles was still hanging around. Which tells me that even though JKR didn't show us her canon afterlife, it makes sense that James, Lily, and Severus would end up in the same place. And seriously, things would get awks. Because there are two truths that you cannot get around and those are 1) Severus loves Lily and 2) Lily loves James. CREY. So it feels like conflict would be unavoidable. I'm trying very hard to keep everyone and their reactions true to their characterizations. -bites nails-

I DON'T - I CAN'T - HOW DOES ONE RESPOND TO SUCH LOVELY THINGS. THANK YOU FOR READING AND BEING SUPPORTIVE AND ALLOWING ME TO DESTROY YOUR EMOTIONS. ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #24, by BoOkWoRm24 

16th May 2012:
There are not words for how much I love this story. It is just so amazingly perfect that I think its like physically impossible not to live it.

I thought you might want to know that your story is like now officially my favorite story ever. You have just done everything so well. From the characterization(which was perfect), to the origionally (which was perfect) to the just over all perfectness of it... it was just well perfect.

I'm sooo happy that James got Lily out so soon. I swear you had me like freaking out that it was going to be Lily and Tonks in the finals. Unfortunately Rufus Scrimeager got out to which means that you got rid of one of the two people that I actually wouldn't mind seeing you get rid of for all of eternity.

I also wante to tell you how much I love Peter Pettigrew. Now that might sound really weird because the normal person hates him, but I just love him. Given I might have some bias because I'm currently writting him but... Anyway the way you wrote him was perfect, he was bitter, but clever and sort of like the villian that is just so amazingly bad that you love him.

Did I mention that I loved this story?
Anywho I am going to forcibly tear myself away from this now cause I think I've gushed enough in the past 1000 or so characters. I just needed to make sure that you understood how much I love this story.

Update soon :)

Author's Response: There aren't words for how much I love this review!

Favorite story ever omg. -rolls around on the floor- YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE MY LIFE.

Not gonna lie, I've been cackling a lot while reading reviews on the past few chapters, because most people were under the impression that it would come down to Tonks vs. Lily (which was very satisfying because that's what I wanted everyone to think). Rufus gets no love, bahaha.

Peter, I think, is among the worst-represented in fanfiction. Yes, he was a sniveling little coward, but he was also clever. He was patient. He fooled the wizarding world for twelve years - he framed one of his best friends and completely got away with that. One does not achieve such a thing unless he's got a lot of willpower. Living for twelve years as a /rat/, I mean, come on. Peter might not be the most pleasant person, but he is undoubtedly a contender.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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