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25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Moony 

18th December 2013:
Such an amazing and creative idea. Loving the story so far, especially this chapter. I got chills when Snape says 'I'm coming for you, my love'. I love your imagery as well. Can't wait to finish the story :)

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Review #2, by marauder5 

3rd March 2013:
Wow. This is my favorite chapter so far, and it's probably the best chapter I've read on this site. Everything about it was so incredible!

First of all, the painting thing - how incredibly creative of you, and how beautifully written. I love how you describe the colours "bleeding into her skin". It was really poetic and beautiful.

Also, Lily's love for Harry. I think you've portrayed it so, so well. She really becomes desperate because of how much he loves him, so much that she's willing to go through the races and watch her friends or someone else die. While I can't see the Lily Potter from the HP series doing something like that, your Lily Potter can. I guess after-life changed her, and the fact that she was separated from Harry.

Finally, the Snape part of this chapter. Everything about it was beautiful, and everything about it was perfectly written. You really portray his love for Lily in a perfect way, and the ending, binding it all together was probably what made this my favorite chapter: "I'm coming for you, my love."

It's a shame that you can't get this story published, because it's so great that it deserves to be a 'real' book. As ever, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this story. I hope that you're proud of it and I hope you know what an amazing writer you are. If you're not writing professionally already, you should definitely consider doing it.

Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thank you! There's something about Snape chapters that make the tone a little more poetic than the others. I think he's one of JKR's biggest masterpieces, character-wise, because he's so complex and mysterious. I loved the opportunity of climbing into his head and seeing through his eyes. Alternatively, seeing through Lily's eyes as well and drawing comparisons to them really helped me highlight their different motivators. Severus devoted his life to the memory of Lily, and Lily is devoting her afterlife to the memory of Harry. Neither of them can truly move forward at this point because they're so attached to a world they don't belong to. But now that Severus has joined her in the afterlife, things could get complicated pretty fast. :3

Thank you so much for your lovely feedback! It would be nice in a way if this were original fiction instead of fan fiction, because I could get a wider audience for it, but it would lose so much of its magic - literally - if it were to be anything else. That and I love seeing reviews like this that I can respond to personally! I wouldn't have that if this were a real book. But I do write a lot of original fiction on the side and am hoping to be published someday. :)


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Review #3, by x3CherryWatermelonx3 

26th January 2013:
This chapter... I have no words. Severus's part... Oh my word, you've left me quite speechless!

I must press forward! See you next chapter! :)

Author's Response: There's something so poetic about JKR's Severus that whenever I write him I find myself focusing a lot on imagery. I'm happy you liked this chapter!

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Review #4, by justonemorefic 

2nd January 2013:
I AM SO FRUSTRATED WITH LILY BUT I LOVE IT. A mother's love is admirable, but at the same time, a bit terrifying, and you know exactly how to capture that, and I'm on edge for Lily even though I know she makes it out of everything alive, because she's alive now, and on edge for her opponents too because I know they aren't ;-;

Oh THANK GOD SHE HELPED ELLADORA even if she is going to die. These duels represent Lily's dark side, it seems, and like they say, June changes people. And that she stops and helps her shows that she's not entirely lost yet, because she does have a bit of an obsessive hold: Harry’s almost thirteen. He’s almost a teenager and he isn’t a baby anymore. You don’t have to do this, you know. You have to stop trying to control what you have no control over. You’re dead. :C

SNAPE ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK MY HEART SOME MORE D:

There was another park close to Lily’s house, which was much nicer, but they preferred this one because it was the same distance from each of their houses. Meeting in the middle, they’d said. creying, innocent sev days.

He chose death, and I knew he would. There's never been anything in this world for him. There could, but he would never see that. ;-; omg that whole last part is so sad omg let me hold you sev you sad deluded man.

Author's Response: I can really empathize with Lily. Being a mom myself I feel almost like...if anything happened to my kid, there is nothing I can't do to protect her/save her/help her/whatever. It's like if she was trapped in a cellar somewhere, it wouldn't even enter my mind that I couldn't pick up the entire house in my hands and just move it. You feel that there is nothing you cannot do when it comes to your kid. But on the other hand, Lily is not doing Harry any favors by signing up for the tournament all the time. Those 24 hours just make it worse for her in the long run, and by risking it she's constantly brinking on the possibility of losing the duels and never seeing him again at all. She needs to just chill and wait about seventy years for him to join her the natural way. STAHP IT, LILY.

SEV IS ALSO DELUDED. EVERYONE IS DELUDED. CREYY.


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Review #5, by noname 

18th August 2012:
Awww. Sev always was my favorite character, and I cried more when he died than when I cried for Dumbledore.

Author's Response: Baww, same. Dumbledore was great and all, but he had such a long, rich life whereas Severus's was so tragic.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #6, by shadowycorner 

14th August 2012:
This breaks my heart. You write this beautifully. Ever little thing.

Author's Response: Eeep, thank you so much. :) And thank you for all the reviews! It made my jaw drop to log in and see that. I will try to respond to them all very soon.

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Review #7, by Renfair 

4th August 2012:
Hi! Well, I have to apologize that this is my first review for this story. I always leave reviews for every chapter when I'm reading, but since I really wanted to fit this story in to finish up the last review challenge at TGS, I decided it was better to just read read read to save time. I've wanted to read this story for a while now after hearing lots of people raving about it. I can definitely say that it's living up to my high expectations of it. Hopefully this review won't be too unorganized and rambling. Since I'm reviewing 7 chapters in one, I'll probably keep thinking of things I want to comment on.

First off, this was such a great idea you had! You forget while reading the books how many people actually die in them since the deaths are pretty spread out throughout the whole series. Throughout the entire part I read you kept surprising me with mentions of characters I had forgotten would be there like Barty Crouch or Luna's mom. Lots of the character interactions were really funny or interesting, like the idea of Regulus taking the mickey out of his drinking partner Dobby.

Obviously the idea of a competition to the "death" isn't new (and is actually a bit saturated at the moment with the Hunger Games obsession), but I think you've definitely taken an old idea and done it in a new, interesting fashion. I had a very hard time reading The Hunger Games because it seemed too much like a rip-off of a Japanese book that pre-dated it by 10 years, "Battle Royale." I admit I was the tiniest bit apprehensive going into this story, worrying that it might end up just being a Hunger Games copy (sorry! sorry! I should have known better, having read your stuff before!) but you definitely put my mind to rest with this chapter in particular and reassured me you're doing a classic story idea in a new, creative way. The little snippets you gave us of past tournaments, the one in the paintings in particular, were so imaginative and well described.

Speaking of description, you're amazing! Normally when I review, I like to pick out specific quotes that I thought were especially well done, but that wouldn't work here or else all 6,000 characters in each chapter's review would be used up copying and pasting all of your fabulous descriptions. Almost every single location is something original, but you managed to describe each location so vividly I could see exactly what it must look like. I loved the idea of CC changing almost organically. The way you described all the random buildings here or there kind of reminded me of how limbo looked to Leonardo DiCaprio's character in "Inception;" a village completely created and shaped from the minds of the dead.

Your characterization was 100% spot on. I found Lily and Tonks to be especially well written. I don't know if you have any kids yourself, but the way you wrote both of their grief over leaving their sons behind struck a very personal cord with me, having a toddler boy myself. I admit it was kind of disturbing to me to think that you could still feel that sort of pain and worry in the afterlife, but I guess writing and reading about a perfect heaven would be really boring.

You've done a great job setting up a sense of mystery surrounding the Grotta. I'm guessing it's a sort of purgatory for people deemed less worthy in the afterlife? I wonder if it really is as bad as all the CC residents make it out to be. Maybe it's the tropical feel of CC, but it reminds me of how on "LOST" everyone from the plane thought the "Others" were evil, then it turns out they're just these normal scientists (um, sorry if you've never seen that show and I spoiled something. Don't worry, the show isn't worth spoiling. Bleh.) So I guess I'll have to read on because I highly doubt a talented, organized writer like you would keep hinting at this other location without letting the readers see it first hand.

What else, what else. Lily's ruthlessness was a very nice change from how I usually see her portrayed in fan fiction. I think your version is much more believable. You can bet I'd win that tournament every single year I could if it meant being able to watch my son for an entire day. It's interesting how Lily thinks this makes her a worse person than James. I think it just makes her a mom. It almost seems like she might have belonged in Slytherin like how Severus probably should have been in Gryffindor. You Severus sections were superb, so I really appreciated that since he's my favorite character. I'm obviously worried how things are going to turn out once he's face to face with Lily again since it's pretty obvious she doesn't care much about him anymore except for appreciating his unbelievable sacrifices to protect Harry.

Well, I'm running (haha, no pun intended!) out of words here. There's probably SO much I'm forgetting to write. I'll definitely be reviewing every chapter from now on because that's just how I roll, but thanks for understanding that I was on a pirate-deadline here to get this review in :) This really is an amazing story and you are a fabulous writer! I very rarely find stories of this length that I look forward to coming back to to finish, but this is definitely one I'll want to see until the end. Good luck with your writing! 10/10!
~Renny

Author's Response: Wow, Renny, what a review!

Lots of people raving, eh? Well I won't lie, that does make me a bit nervous. Whenever something's been talked up, it's hard to meet those expectations. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

Regulus and Dobby, ha. XD I love them quite a bit. Regulus is a minor character in this story but I do give him a bit more spotlight than most of the other minor characters. I can't resist; I really like him.

Ahh, The Hunger Games. Yes, that comparison often crops up in reviews at the beginning of this story. While I know that they carry similar vibes of high stakes, I must say that it's really quite different in that it's not a battle to the death at all. It's a tournament in which your mental skills are put to the test more than physical, and the objective isn't to harm anyone else, it's to win. There are various rules for each round that contenders have to adhere to. So winning each round isn't people actually /dueling/, it's just a matter of who's fastest, who's smartest, etc. And then in the end, the loser dies by default and not because someone actually killed them. Just thought I'd clarify that!

So happy to hear that you found so many quote-worthy things! And I'm glad you liked my descriptions. I'm kind of nitpicky about how I write descriptions because I think to myself that I /must/ detail every itty bitty thing about every itty bitty place so that readers will see it /exactly/ as I do. For some reason I hate the idea of leaving certain things up to readers' imaginations, especially settings.

I derive a lot of inspiration with Lily and Tonks and their separation from their sons from how I might feel if I were separated from my daughter. :)

You will definitely see more about the Grotta. It's more of a background thing, but it serves its own importance, existing in the background.

Your comparison to LOST made me laugh. Oh, my, that show got ridiculous towards the end. At first I was like, "Oh, okay! Oh, wow! Why didn't I start watching this ages ago, it's brilliant!" And then as time wore on...well, there was lots of confused frowning and "what just happened, where are they going with this" until the final episode, when it was so ridiculous that I just wanted to throw things. /end rant

Lily's characterization has taken a bit of a detour from canon, just because of her environment and history from death onward. You will see later on how participating every year in the Devil's Duel has shaped her priorities and mindset, what she is willing to risk. It's sad, really, how much she's willing to sacrifice to see her son for a few hours.

Wow, this review was so thorough and detailed! Thank you for taking the time to read and for leaving me this awesome review, and if you continue to read, I hope you enjoy it. :)


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Review #8, by maskedmuggle 

15th July 2012:
Woah! That Snape/Lily moment at the end was really intense but so, so moving, and that childhood memory.. gahhh I was literally hanging on your every word. You got in Snape's head so wonderfully - seriously, how are you doing this? How do you make all your characters feel so real?! It was fascinating to hear the memory - and Eileen's advice - don't know if this makes sense, but so beautiful! Your heart bleeds.

And I loved, absolutely loved reading about Lily in the final of a Duel! It was so creative - being in paintings! I loved the idea. And getting to hear the mindset of Lily during it - how important it really was for her to win it and see her son. It was fantastic to see Lily watching Harry too, since that's obviously such an integral part of why she's doing it. It's so strange seeing Lily like this. In this respect, Lily knew that he was a far, far better person than she could ever be. It's always been Lily that is usually portrayed as the caring, compassionate, "better" person, rather than James (though his loyalty speaks so much), but in this context, Lily's love for Harry is so consuming she does everything she can to win. Oh, I also loved the book and the dinosaurs with letters falling down (such an original idea! I can't wait to see what you come up with for this year's one) - and how Lily couldn't actually figure out the puzzle but was faster than the Ravenclaw who did.

Anyway, your ideas are so brilliant and this was another fantastically written chapter. Seriously, this story is such a joy to read! Half of me wants to read the whole thing today and just find out everything that happens, but the other half just wants to enjoy it slowly so each chapter really sinks in. I LOVE THIS! :)
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Hi, Charlotte! Oh my goodness, your reviews are going to reduce me to a pile of jelly. ♥

So, so pleased you liked this chapter! It was one of my favorites to write, stylistically, and I liked having the chapter divided between Severus and Lily, who were both focusing on two very different kinds of love. And I loved portraying James as the more compassionate one because Lily is so often credited with being the ultimate selfless parent and they forget how James died for both Lily /and/ Harry.

Thank you endlessly for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you're still enjoying this! I hope you continue to. :)


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Review #9, by Angelwithoutwings1470 

14th July 2012:
I never liked james potter because of snape and lily. snape's just a broken man and deserves lily even after everything he did.

Author's Response: Ahh. Well, I must say that I rather like James. I think that the argument comes back to the fact that it wasn't James vs. Severus, it was a matter of Lily choosing who she wanted to be with. She was a golden girl and her views and values aligned with James's; meanwhile, Severus was interested in the Dark Arts and conquering Muggles. As we all know, Lily came from a Muggle family. I can't imagine choosing to be with someone who was interested in that if I had Muggle parents. All that aside, however, Snape is a beautiful character and I very, very much enjoy trying to see inside his head. He's brilliant and complex and wonderful and sometimes awful - and in the end, no matter what he did for Lily, that doesn't always mean he should necessarily receive anything in return. After all, he did it voluntarily.

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Review #10, by ScarletEye158 

20th June 2012:
Ahh, I love a good Lily/Snape story and this chapter was so good (: I could really feel how much Snape needed Lily and it kind of broke my heart. He's just so different from everyone else and I sometimes find myself wishing Lily and James never got together... :S I thought you did really well with his emotions, so thats probably why I'm thinking this way and practically crying on his behalf... :p

I really liked Lily POV too. She really would do anything for Harry and I liked how you captured that in this chapter. :)

Keep it up, I'm loving this story!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Snape is such an interesting character. When I read from his point of view, I wish that he had gotten with Lily and they'd had a long, happy life together. But when I read from Lily's point of view, I root for James because I feel like she deserves James. Severus was so interested in the Dark Arts that his personality was too off-putting, and Lily was such an honorable person that she couldn't be with anyone like that. It's a tough situation.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

- Sarah


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Review #11, by forsakenphoenix 

18th June 2012:
SARAH,

I honestly thought the Duels were just that - duels between the wizards and witches who signed up, but the ideas you've come up with are just infinitely better than anything I could have ever imagined.

I love that we went back in time to see how determined and ruthless Lily is to get what she desires most - to spend one day with Harry. You have to be cold and you have to forget about friendships when you have that much on the line, and I love Lily's observation that James could never do that - could never sacrifice others for his own good. He's selfless that way and that makes her selfish. I also found it interesting how she saved Elladora from the quicksand and roses, only for her to wind up losing anyway and really dying. I can't even imagine being James during the last duel and watching Lily do this year after year, waiting for that one time that maybe she won't win and he'll lose her forever. My poor heart.

and, OMG, Severus's part? Seriously, I just died. I'm dead. I don't even know. It was fabulous and heartbreaking and bitter. It was perfect.

It's kind of funny how we seem to have written similar bits here and there in our afterlife fics. I wrote something in my Snily fic where Snape is kind of delusional and focuses on Harry's eyes and thinks he's looking at Lily.

But oh my god, the ending line. Just so beautiful. I loved this chapter - EVERY CHAPTER. You are seriously my new favorite author. I need to read more of your stuff if it's as amazing as this. The intricacies of Cliodna's Clock, your magnificent cast of characters, how you weave everyone's stories into this one fic and you do so seamlessly - it's perfection. If you weren't using Rowling's characters, I'd be hard pressed to find an original fiction story as fantastic and innovative as this.

Author's Response: Missy! ♥

Yeah, the duels are a bit different from average duels. Everything in death is larger than life, ironically, so the Devil's Duel is like...designed to really, really test you. It's a lot like the Triwizard Tournament. Lily's able to cut off her emotions so that she can be successful and win, but James just isn't built that way. The contrast makes her look even more ruthless.

I love afterlife fics - I gobble them up voraciously, so I wonder if I've read yours. I need to go wander over to your page and check it out. I do remember reading a Severus/Lily afterlife fic while I was writing the chapter after this one, and marveling at the similarities.

YOUR NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR?! I COULD DIE. I am dead. I am dead right now, and I am in Cliodna's Clock. I won't sign up for the duel though because I'm a wimp.

You are so lovely. I am eternally grateful. :)


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Review #12, by marlita1311 

18th June 2012:
simply wow.
this chapter was flawless and just proves that you are super talented!

"after all this time?"
"always."
^this is how rowling wrote it and in the chapter i just read, you somehow managed to expand it; you created a pensieve and you dragged us in it, looking into the neverending love of two people: lilly's love for her son,harry and severus's love for lilly.

the determination lilly has on this duel is just so strong; her will to see her son motivates her to hurting her supposed friends, not caring about anyone apart her only son.
after all these years she considers it her dept to visit him even if she doesn't get to touch him, or talk to him. this is just heartbreaking;the picture with her forced to watch her son suffer was very moving.

having read seven chapters i thought Cliodna's Clock is a version of paradise; you find your loved ones that had left you or you wait for them to join you.

Lilly is not in a paradise as the one person who she wants to be with is in another world.

no moving on to the half blood prince:
severus's childhood memories were very vivid.
again the whole relationship feels so real.
the story with the witches is simply inspiring!

i keep thinking the shock that overpowered lilly when she realized the impact she had on shape's life.
her death made her childhood friend switch sides and after all these years his feelings haven't changed a bit..
she knows that she is different from the person he remembered which makes the anticipated meeting even more dreadful..
how will he react when he finds himself on a world where she exists?
10/10

arghhh i have to study so i can't read more but i'll come back tomorrow!
~marlita

Author's Response: Wow, thank you!!

I'm so glad you said that about two different loves - Lily's love for her son and Severus's love for Lily. While Lily is consumed with going to see her son, meanwhile on Earth, Severus is basically living for her, hanging on by a thread just so that he can try to keep Harry alive. You're right - this is not her paradise. Without her son there, she can't be satisfied.

Thank you so much for reading and for leaving these fabulous reviews! I hope you enjoy the rest. :)


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Review #13, by peppersweet 

18th June 2012:
Oh my god the feels.

I loved this little diversion into the past. If you don't mind me switching fandoms for a minute, the first section reminded me a little of the hunger games...lily having to be so cold and ruthless when she is not as a person. Oh, the feels.

The diversion into Severus' death was as heartbreaking as it was in canon. The feels! There's a lot of unfinished business between these two. Can't wait to see it come to a head.

Love this so much ♥

Author's Response: Feels, crey D; lulzzz Hunger Games. Yeah, some people take the races super seriously and get all ruthless and lose sight of themselves because of the incredibly high stakes. Others, though, just can't adapt that way.

Severus and Lily totes have unfinished business. Lily loves James, who hates Severus, who loves Lily and hates James, and it's a circle of emotions.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY HOW AMAZING YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE LEGIT. I WILL BAKE YOU A CHEESECAKE.



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Review #14, by Hogwarts27 

13th June 2012:
This chapter was probably the most intense so far. Absolutely fabulous and captivating from start to finish. So filled with inventive creativity as well as emotion. This was professional quality writing in my opinion - you're a natural. Even published writing doesn't get better than this. I loved the whole thing.

Just a comment on Snape - Aside from holding a torch for Lily for love's sake, Snape doesn't strike me as a character who has any pleasant memories to look back on in his life except for his friendship with Lily. That may be a large part of the reason why he ended up loving her so obsessively. It may be the only good thing that ever happened to him in his entire life.

Author's Response: Oh wow, this review made me feel so floaty. Saying that this was professional quality is such an encouraging thing to hear; my greatest dream is to be a published author someday, so your feedback is very much appreciated.

I think that you're quite right about Snape. Lily was the one bright spot in his past, so it makes perfect sense that he's going to go back over and over to live in that bright spot in his mind, because it's the only thing about his life that brought him true happiness. It's such a sad thought.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by LittleWelshGirl99 

9th June 2012:
Eeee, I'd been wondering about how exactly the Devil's Duel...well, worked! This was just the BEST idea ever. Truly. I'm in total awe.

My heart aches for Lily, it's just the harshest thing ever for her to have to hear someone call her son a ‘useless, unwanted little vermin’ and not be able to do a single thing about it. I want to just... I DON'T KNOW! -sob- Make her alive and real again? Her love for Harry is so tangible, I can feel it and see it and I want to fight for it so badly.

'Her hands were now coated with thick layers of cloud – faint blue and white and gold and gray' GAH I LOVE THIS STORY. This is so special, honestly. Never stop writing!

Annd, enter Severus. Wow. Literally crying over here. That was the best description of his death I've ever read, and frankly I'm so glad you wrote it because you are the perfect writer to do so. I don't want to read another scene with him in again, because it just won't compare

~truth!~

Okay, I just can't wait to read on. You're amazing, Sarah :)

-LWG

Author's Response: Hiii!!

The way that Petunia and Vernon treated Harry was so, so awful; I know that if I'd been Lily and I witnessed any of that, I would have broken all of the rules right then and there and smacked someone. Lily is such a fighter. She's consistently won the Devil's Duel over and over from sheer willpower, and that says a lot about her personality.

Yay, thank you! I liked the cloud bits, too. It seems that I'm always writing about paint in some way. ^ ^

Severus's death was so horrible, especially when reading it for the second time after witnessing everything in the Pensieve about his love for Lily. I was so excited to be able to write it and to get inside of his head during his last moments. I'm so pleased that you liked it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by WitnesstoitAll 

6th May 2012:
This was a gorgeous chapter (as per usual). You probably get tired of me saying that, but I really can't think of a synonym that adequately does it justice. You're creativity is out of this world. Go publish things. Lots of things. The literaly world needs somebody with your vision. This story is literally one of the best works of FF I've ever read. You slip through one canon fact to another with so much ease, readers likely may not even notice it unless they are paying attention. It gives a very erethral feel to this entire story.

I loved the oppurtunity to see past races. Very very crafty what with dinosaurs and watercolour paintings and what not. Again, green with envy. To comment on Lily, let me first say that I think you've done a spectacular job of creating her character, and I may be in the minority on this, but I just don't like her character very much. Sure she's determined and a bit cut throat and has a very deep, un-yielding love for her son (all admirable qualities individually), but I just feel like if I were a resident of Cidona's clock, I wouldn't care for her much. Especially going into this upcoming tournament. If it comes down to her and Tonk, Tonks for the win. I know that lily loves Harry, but I can't help but think she's a bit selfish and manipulative when it comes to being able compete for a chance to see him. If I were Harry, I'm not sure I'd want my mum snuffing out people to come back to earth and pine over me from a distance. Just doesn't seem to equate.

I love, love, loveee the fact that you make me think about a character and their choices and motivations in such depth. I think that really says something as to the quality of your work. You are fabulous as is this.

Annnd Snape. Omg. Break my heart into a thousand pieces. That sequence was so, I can't even chose a word to start describing it. It was very surreal and floaty and sort of in tune with the whole "life flash before your eyes" thing. The description was so pretty. Of course Snape would choose Lily. He's lived his entire life for an image of a person who more or less doesn't exist. The Lily he loves has grown up and changed and lived a life. There is something so beautifully sad about that. Gah. Severus. My heartstrings you pluck them like an angel playing a harp.

Also as an aside, I love how you sort of ducked away from the new comer in favor of more character development. It makes the plot and story of Run very winding and deep. Love it.

Author's Response: MOL YOOR ROVOOWS. O JOST CON'T. ♥

- le squish-

I WILL PUBLISH ALL THE THINGS~ P.S. I will never get tired of hearing you say you liked something I've written. I admire your writing a LOT, so any kind of praise from you makes me feel like a marshmallow fairy.

I already told you this on skype, but I want to reiterate that I'm actually quite pleased you see Lily this way, because that's the intended characterization. In fanfiction she's usually portrayed as the golden girl because she was Head Girl and a member of the Order and because she died a martyr. But really, we don't know /all/ that much about her besides the fact that Harry has her nature. Harry can get kind of obsessed with things (Draco, the Hallows, his 'hero thing', etc.). Sometimes he can take things to extremes. I think death has really changed Lily and each Devil's Duel has made her less and less like herself. She's sort of stopped living so that she can concentrate solely on that 24 hours watching over Harry. And it's such a masochistic thing to fight for, too, because she's just going to have to watch him from afar and then leave again for another 364 days at the least. And beyond that, there are only a handful of women prominently featured in this story (shakes fist at JKR and how she always seemed to write more about men), so I've got to make their characterizations as diverse as possible to separate them. Lily's not exactly likable. She's selfish and a little bit lost.

I loff you. ♥


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Review #17, by Jess the Enthusiast 

6th May 2012:
This story just gets better and better! I find it rather sad than romantic that Snape has held onto Lily after all these years. Not only has he been holding onto a dead woman, but one that is happily married to another man. I feel like Snape truely believes that the only things that ever separated him from being with Lily were her death and his association with the dark arts. Now that he's dead too and on the good side, he probably thinks that Lily will be waiting for him with open arms - and that's so not true.

So basically, I'm really excited to see how this plays out. 10/10 :D

Author's Response: I'm completely in agreement about the Snape romance thing. It's just so unhealthy. I think that after growing so attached to her throughout childhood and then being sort of rejected for his arch nemesis, he decided it would be safer to love a dead woman than try to risk having his heart broken by putting himself back out there. He held onto Lily even when she wasn't his to hold onto, and he's in a place where he's going to have to deal with the fact that she's still married and still in love with James. Eeep.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

- Sarah


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Review #18, by shadowcat2 

5th May 2012:
I liked the idea that each race was different. The way you described Lily's emotions during the race was sad and beautiful at the same time. I really liked how you described Lily and Snape's childhood games. Snape's death was beautifully written. Can't wait to read more about Snape's afterlife. :)

Author's Response: Thank you. :) Snape's death is something I've been wanting to write for a while, whether it be here or in a one-shot, so I'm pleased to hear you thought I did it well.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Akussa 

30th April 2012:
Hi!!

Oh I really liked this chapter as well. I'm not too much for the romance and yearning hearts (my boyfriend says I have a heart of steel) but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I think the much slower pace of this was nice and touching. Your Severus was great and believable. He would drop most of his defenses in death, knowing that he would doesn't need to save his image anymoer and that he will find again the one person he loved.

As for Lily, well I loved that part a lot. It was a nice presentation of how her personnality adapts when time comes for her to see her son again. It was beautifully written, great work!

Author's Response: A heart of steel. XD I'm exactly the opposite, I wear my heart on my sleeve. My favorite kind of romance, though, is the subtle kind, so you don't have to worry about really gushy lovey-dovey chapters.

I think Severus must have been a bit of a closet romantic, seeing as how he pined after the same dead woman for almost seventeen years. Now that he's going to be in a place where they can both coexist, he doesn't have to be that hardened, bitter person anymore. Or at least that's how he sees it at the moment. And it's awesome that you pointed that out about Lily, because that's exactly what I was trying to convey!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by cazvalleygirl 

20th April 2012:
I'm amazed, this has to be your most creative chapter yet! The idea of Lily leaving that woman to die would have been almost uncomprehendable, she is a gryffindor, and she is kind. But you really, really nailed her motherly insticts, like a lioness protecting her cub! I totally understand why Lily has to enter, that desire to see her only child, just once a year even is the reason she is willing to risk her soul.

The idea of the duels being in a painting or a book, argh! Share some of that creativity will you...please! lol!

And Snape, his last few moments, so moving. Anyway cant stop got to keep going :)

Author's Response: Lily's had to change herself a bit to be able to emotionally cope with the races. I think that in a way, she's had to force herself to flip an emotional switch so that she could visit her son without guilt. You have to be a certain level of ruthless to win this so many times, so Lily spends each June converting herself into an apathetic, one-minded warrior. Still, she can't shake away all of her characteristics; which is why she had to stop and help her opponent.

Snape! Eeep, he intimidates me, so I'm very pleased you liked that part.


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Review #21, by Ardeith 

16th April 2012:
Wow! Love the Snape section...how he could have saved himself and didn't. How even in his last moments, he was still driven by his love for (obsession with) Lily. Love the glimpses into their childhood! The spotting the witches game. You have such insight into people/kids...it's so true that the game would get "ruined" when one person claimed to see them.

And Lily's remembrances of races past...so creative with the duels in books and paintings. Obviously you must have a better plan for this year's duel, those ideas are so good, I can't believe you "wasted" them in a flashback. Can't wait till this year's duel.

Thanks,
Ardeith

Author's Response: Obsession is a very good word and I'm glad you chose it. What Severus has for Lily is very different from what Lily has for James. I feel a bit sorry for him, dying to be with Lily when Lily still doesn't love him. The witches game came from my own childhood - sort of. Not witches, exactly, but I had a pretty vivid imagination and my best friend and I played a lot of games like that.

Eeep, I'm glad you liked the glimpses of past duels. And I do have something better in store for this year, which was why I had no qualms using the paintings/books for flashbacks. I'm very excited for this year's races - and races is the key word. :3

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #22, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

15th April 2012:
MY MIND IS BOGGLED! At first I thought you had just thrown us into the next race without introducing the others or the beginning so I was a little confused but then when I read on I was like...oh, oh, oh. You focused on Lily, who is such a fierce character but my thoughts were on James.

How would he handle Lily being gone forever?

Not well, even though he has Sirius and Remus. Though there's an obvious hole in their relationship because Remus did get to live much longer and has been affected by so much more (sure they both lost their sons, and their wives died but Remus had to endure yet another war, he saw Sirius die, he mourned the loss of his friends much, much longer).

I thought Severus's part was just.amazing. I want to say breathtaking too but I'm not sure it's the right word. I just...wow. I can't even make coherent comments on it because it was just that mind boggling.

Author's Response: Lol, you must not have seen the date at the top of the chapter. XD I can imagine how you must have been confused! You're not the only one who thought of James while Lily was slogging around through paint. I think it would sort of emotionally destroy him if he lost her. Right now, he's built up a certain level of confidence because she's won an unbelievable amount of times, so he would be a bit blindsided if she lost the tournament. He would certainly not be expecting it because he's started to sort of fancy her as invincible.

Yay, you liked the Severus bit! I like writing him; his relationship with Lily is really rich with memories that he's enshrined over the years. I find him and the way his mind works to be fascinating.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #23, by TenthWeasley 

12th April 2012:
This is just one of the coolest chapters... ever. It really shows the extremities of your creative mind, I think, because I wouldn't ever have thought to use something like paintings for a competition! Gahh, that is just so cool. And I love the elements you included of it too -- watercolor obviously blurs and it makes perfect sense that it'd get embedded into the competitor's skin. What's even more neat is how I told you for a long time that you can paint with words -- and here, you /did/. That was such a cool thing for me to see! :D I am in perpetual awe. ♥

And the raining words/dinosaurs one! CAN I BE IN THAT ONE?! That is awesome.

I for some reason got really emotionally connected to James in that first section, despite the fact that you focused on Lily. Because it's like... I just can't stop thinking about what it must have been like for him, abandoning in the first round and having to watch his wife in the final one, wondering if she'd get vanquished at the end of it. NEW HYPOTHESIS. Does she finally die?! Oh my gosh, it would be so super depressing if Harry never got to meet his mother. OH MY GOSH WHATEVER YOU ARE YOU DOING DON'T DO THAT.

Snape Snape Snape Snape Snapeee. ♥ ♥ This is the precise reason why I value your opinion on him when I write him. LOOK AT HOW WELL YOU CAN GET INTO HIS HEAD. I am just dumbstruck. And rather jealous, but anyway ~

He’d snatched it up because it wasn’t supposed to be Harry’s. -- This just says so much about him. He's portrayed so much as this tragic hero, perfect and misunderstood, and you can just FEEL how selfish and self-centered he is in that line. He cannot give up anything, for anything, and it's just such a Snape quality in that one line. I adore it.

And it marked the beginning of the end. -- NO. ALL THE FEELS. But you know what? I love that you gave him the choice. I loved it when you told me about it in advance, and I love it now. It's a brilliant move, and I am dead serious -- the fact that he chose to move on for Lily is the perfect headcanon way to come full circle in the whole relationship. He basically lived for her, and I know a lot of people think it's creepy or stalker-ish or whatever, but that's who he was. Simple truth of the matter. And you did it so much justice here.

Lovely chapter, as always -- and I am forever sorry for the wait you had to have on this review. :( I shall attempt to be more diligent (someday!). And until then I beg forgiveness and offer these humble words to you.

WRITE MOAR WORDZ PLZ. ♥ Cannot wait for your update!

Author's Response: -face falls off-

The painting with words! Hee, I knew you would notice that because of what you've said before. You deffo inspired this scene. ♥ LITERAL INTERPRETATIONS FTW. Raining words and dinosaurs. That would be the worst thing ever for me. I am so bad at clues. I remember just sitting there during the House Cup or the anniversary or whatever thing it was where we were given riddles and being like WHAT. I AM OBVIOUSLY NOT ON THE SAME SITE AS EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE I'M NOT SEEING THESE CLUES ANYWHERE.

James would have to feel really helpless. And I just had to pause and delete some things here in this response because I got an idea for the plot. :3 You always manage to kick-start my brain!

SNAPE ♥ OMG I WAS SO NERVOUS FOR YOU TO READ THAT PART. I kept imagining you adjusting your monocle and then bringing down the hammer of fail upon my meager Snape-attempting and banning me from ever writing about him again.

Right? /RIGHT?/ He's deffo portrayed as a tragic hero in most places, but underneath he's still a Harry-hating, jealous, bitter man and there's no way he was going to let Harry, despite the fact that he was an innocent infant, look at something that he considered to be his. Some areas of his brain are a bit warped in this respect. He holds on to things with an iron grip, even if they aren't his to hold on to.

Obsessive or not, you're right, that's just who he was, that was how he lived and operated. And if that's how he lived, that should be how he died. It's so sad, because in his mind he's going off to be with Lily in a place where she will return his affections. You can probably imagine what the future has in store for Severus.

I WILL WRITE ALL DA WORDZ~

♥ You are so brill.


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Review #24, by Elliegranger394 

12th April 2012:
This fan fiction is the best one I have read ever
Keep up the good work
Can we have some more of Fred in and maybe some dumbledore
Thanks

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you. That's a wonderful compliment. :)
I can promise more Fred, yes, and perhaps Dumbledore in due time. :3

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

11th April 2012:
Yey I was so excited to see an update! :D This chapter didn't disappoint - I really loved the insight into the characters minds we got to see :) And the water colour painting arena thing was a cool touch! Really looking forward to reading more! :D

Author's Response: Thank you for coming back and reading! The beginning chapters of this story focus on the different characters - how they think, what they want, what their motivations and plans are. I want everyone to know them very well before the tournament begins. I enjoyed writing about the watercolor duel and showing a glimpse of one of Lily's wins. I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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