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19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 

15th November 2015:
Hello there Dan!

I'm here for the next chapter! I hope this review finds you well.

The Ron and Hermione scene was a real treat to read. I love how multi-faceted you've made both of them (not made, but rather, extended). It's how I see them as well. They're both really, really talented - and they have a softer side as well. Or rather in this scene - a naughty side. I'm sorta glad you stopped the scene just short of their tryst. It leaves a lot to our imagination - but you've set it up nicely enough that we know how it plays out ;)

At the same time, there's some valuable information here. Barsamian is looking less and less like the bad guy and more like a pawn who had little choice but to play the hand he'd been dealt. Agnar Cheshire... I'm going to have to look back through previous chapters, but I don't remember him being mentioned. To be honest, I thought he was going to say Rory Tennant - given his history of ineptitude and bad blood with the Auror department.

The scene with Goyle and Nott was disturbing and creepy and awesome. Your description of the effects of the curse made me shudder - you have such a talent for drawing not only images, but emotions in your reader. It also seemed right that Nott was the one to master the curse and not Goyle - I'd always categorized him in the slow department. The fact that all of the members of the New Blood Order were able to get jobs at the Ministry is even more disturbing. It seems that at every turn, Lady Tenabra has infiltrated even deeper than I thought. This is going from bad to worse. The poor witch who is their victim reminds me of Charity Burbage and her senseless murder at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

The length of time Harry and Esme had to wait seemed to a waste for all the information Elena gave them. I'm highly suspicious that the missing Auror, Katerian, is in fact, Arabela Dynt - but I'm not going to cash in my chips just yet. There are several chapters left and you seem to have introduced quite a few characters that I don't want to rule anything out just yet.

Ooo! And then we get to meet the Head of the French Auror department. Very interesting, indeed...

If any fighting does break out, Iíll make sure that she remembers to follow orders.

Yeah... good luck with that, Harry. I have a feeling that you can keep Esme from doing anything that she has her mind set to do just as well as you could break an unbreakable vow...

Haha! I see Esme is along the same line of thinking as I am. However, it's a good thing Ricard Dauzat turned out to see the real picture. At least something is going well for our heroes.

I gotta admit, Arabela does make a good argument for Percy. I even know what she's up to and I'm still rooting for him. Go, Percy go! You got this! At the first read, I just glossed over Arabela's story about her family - I was being very, very confident (read: arrogant) that it was a bunch of claptrap because I already knew her real family history. But on my second read-through (okay... third or fourth - I know that I am responsibly for at least four of your reads on this chapter), I decided to pay attention. Mostly because, if I know you, there is at least something hidden there that will come to light later on in the story. And this question is still on my mind: if Arabela (as Lady Tenabra) is able to control the current Minister, why would she need Percy to take over the position? Hmmm... much to ponder.

I only saw one typo in this chapter:

Why are you suddenly so keen on seeing your boss out a a job?

It should probably be "...out of a job..."

I liked how the title tied in to each scene in this chapter. Barsamian might not be the enemy that the trio once thought, Goyle seems bound and determined to ally with Malfoy, Dauzat seems to be setting his allegiance with Harry and Arabela is "allying" with Percy to become the next Minister.

Thanks again for writing this awesome story!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I've been busy lately, but who isn't at this time of the year? I suspect it will get worse before it gets better. :-/

I did my best to age all of the canon characters realistically in this story. Try to preserve some of the things that make them unique while also allowing them to grow into the roles and responsibilities that characterize later life. Ron and Hermione have been married for nearly 50 years at this point, but I wanted to show that they still found ways to make life fun. And yes, from a ToS standpoint, the scene had to end where it did. Feel free to let your imagination take it where you like.

I enjoy weaving pawns into the story. From reading ASLtW, I've come to suspect that you like your pawns, as well. They're a great way to keep the reader guessing about who's really responsible for what.

The scene with Nott and Goyle was interesting to write because of the mismatch between the tone and the content. The scene is brutal and violent and disturbing, but the tone of the conversation was light and almost... well, conversational. I was thinking a bit of the scenes in Pulp Fiction where Jules and Vince have these everyday sort of conversations while they're on their way to kill someone. The witch's death did have a bit of a Charity Burbage vibe, now that you mention it.

It's true that Elena didn't give Harry and Esme a lot of new information, but the locket... that was a bigger deal than it seems.

You're right. Harry will never have much luck convincing Esme not to do something if she thinks it's the right thing to do. He has a thing for that sort of woman, don't you think? ;)

Don't discount what Arabela tells Percy about her past. If you think about it, it might explain a few things...

Gah! Another typo! Thank you for picking them out. By the time you're done, this story will be so shiny!

Ha! I'll let you in on a secret: By the end of the story -- once I'd figured out how all the plot threads were going to come together -- I probably agonized more over the chapter titles than anything else. I wanted to find something short and pithy for each one that tied into the chapter's content.

Thank you again for reading. And for reviewing!

-Dan


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Review #2, by GingeredTea 

23rd May 2015:
I know I have said it before, but I will say it again. I really do appreciate your entrances. Weíve been delving into Esme and Harry quite a bit, but it was so nice to see something from Ronís perspective and to see, even in the first line, how much in love they still are.

And thenÖwell you do a great job capturing the fact that Ron always was easily distracted. LOL

Then Ron surprises me, with how he redirects Hermione from a rash and headstrong moment of self-assurance.

ďIf I know Harry, heíd turn around, leave, come back in twenty minutes and try like hell to pretend that nothing happened. Heís a decent bloke like that.Ē ó- Oh my, that had me laughing!!! And I do imagine that is exactly what Harry would try to do.

Ugh, your next scene, while definitely important, wasnít that fun to read. If Goyle and Nott dropped dead Iíd be totally fine with that! Oh I really did not like when they found Octaviaís name!

You did an excellent job with Katerina familyís scene and the following scene with Ricard. Your dialogue was spot on!


How much of ďArabellaísĒ childhood story is true here, I wonder? From her emotions, probably not much.

As always, you have done a great job. This is the chapter where I really started to feel all the threads coming together!


Iím really sorry about our swap. I thought Iíd send out a review that day but things got hectic. I thought since I had said ďIíll go firstĒ Iíd set the Ďstartí time. And even though Iíve been writing, I havenít really been on HPFF except to check the forum once. So I had no idea Iíd kept you waiting a week! So sorry about that, Dan! I really enjoy our swaps!

Author's Response: Hi!

I feel like you can't start off every chapter in the same way or from the same point of view. People get bored and zone out. One of the great things about writing a story with such a large cast is that there's always somebody who could use a little more "screen time" and you can switch to their PoV whenever the story starts to feel stale. On the flip side, of course, one of the worst things about writing a story with a large cast is that there's always somebody who could use a little more "screen time"...

"If Goyle and Nott dropped dead I'd be totally fine with that!" -- Umm... hold that thought.

"How much of "Arabella's" childhood story is true here, I wonder?" -- You want to know a secret? Everything she told Percy about her childhood in that scene is true. All of it. I'm not sure I've ever revealed that before.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and don't fret about the review swap! No harm done. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #3, by dobbywhisky 

11th June 2014:
I read this obsessively on my phone. Whenever I have a free moment I just whip it out. Its permanently saved on my browser. Thought you should know.

Author's Response: You definitely know how to make a guy smile, you know that? Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by APerkins 

24th October 2013:
Be humbled. :)

Love this story. Have nothing constructive to say.

But im gunna try real hard.


I Enjoyed the subtext of harry being irritated at esme for her nervous oversharing. Thought you played that scene well.

.. oh who am I kidding, I just liked the whole thing

Author's Response: Hi!

I have to say that I have been nothing short of humbled to my knees by your reviews.

Thank you!


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Review #5, by Courtney Dark 

6th August 2013:
Yet another amazing chapter!

I really liked the section from Ron's point of view. I think you have aged both he and Hermione perfectly - and I can't imagine it would be a particularly easy thing to do - Ron, especially, I think would be very difficult. But you do an excellent job of keeping that slight, what's the word, goofiness of Ron while making it obvious that he has matured and grown as a person. And it's lovely to see that Ron and Hermione's relationship is still going strong, after all these years!

Oh god, that spell that Nott used in Goyle's section was nasty! And I am now seriously concerned that something horrible is going to happen to Octavia/Rose/Scorpius - I can't think why they would have been mentioned in the chapter, otherwise!

I LOVED the section from Harry's point of view. I like that there are these little hints of romance between Harry and Esme, because I think Harry needs something good in his life - though of course he'll never forget Ginny. I liked Elena too, and I am even more curious about Katerina - I just can't quite work her out, which I guess is a good thing at this stage!

Percy's section was very interesting - Arabela is another person I just can't figure out. Was she telling the truth about her parents, I wonder?

I really enjoyed this chapter! (Of course I did, i enjoy every chapter!)
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi, Courtney!

I love writing from Ron's PoV. I wish I'd had more opportunities to do it, but I try to follow the following rule: always write from the PoV of the character who knows the least or has the most to lose. That's not usually Ron in this story. I'm really pleased that you feel like he and Hermione were aged realistically. It's hard sometimes, keeping them in character while making them seasoned adults. And I tend to think that they're still completely smitten with one another, but too stubborn to let it show all the time.

Nott finally perfected the spell that he messed up when he tried to kill Hermione. It took him a while, but I think we can all agree that's a good thing.

Harry is giving some serious thought to whether he could possibly fall in love again at this point, and Esme is doing the same. They're both old enough to know the risks. Things will continue to evolve between the two of them.

I can't really comment on what Arabela is or is not telling the truth about. OK, actually I can. What she told Percy about her parents is 100% true. Keep it in mind for later...

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

7th February 2013:
See, now I'm confused again. I don't know what to make of Arabela. Could be a lie, could not be. This is why I don't assume. :P

But Percy would make a good Minister, as long as they don't assume he'd turn his back or cut and run. That might knock him back. That would be sad.

I do really enjoy reading the tiny bits of romance between Harry and Esme. I stand by what I said about not being sure if I could accept him being with another, but I also enjoy resding more of his life besides fighting and mourning. Like thinking that maybe he could move on, though never forget. I think you've got his hesitation, his worries about his attraction for another woman, perfectly. Readers will never forget how much he loved, and will always love, Ginny.

Great chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: Arabela is a complicated one, that's for certain. I'll share this one bit of fact with you: she's not lying about her parents.

Percy would make a good Minister, for more or less the exact reasons she lists. I think he's well beyond turning his back on his family at this point in his life.

I'm really glad that Esme is growing on you. I didn't really want readers to like her right away. I hope that people *do* feel a lot of doubt about seeing her and Harry together. This shouldn't be easy.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by academica 

28th August 2012:
Hello again! I'm back with another requested review!

Oh, my, Ron and Hermione are really taking advantage of those few moments alone! Normally I cringe when reading sensual scenes (and thus haven't written one in quite some time), but I think you executed this nicely and left enough to the imagination.

The crime scene was interesting, and, um, vivid. Your description of the curse and the way Goyle and Nott moved about messing up the evidence was chilling. If your goal was to demonstrate (a) how much influence Lady Tenabra has taken in the Ministry and (b) how evil the Blood Order members are, I'd say you accomplished it tidily. I like how Goyle misses his old friend, despite how awful Draco was to him in school. I hope Draco'll keep his head on straight, though.

I really liked getting a peek at Katerina's family and the French Auror. I like how Elena has basically resigned herself to the loss of her sister, though it's sad to imagine that her sister has not really thought about her in four years. I also like how the French Auror was used to show that not even Esme can get her way all the time (or can she?). Your little joke about the Island of Misfit Toys was funny, and it felt like pure Esme :)

The conversation between Percy and Arabella was touching. I like that you opened and closed this chapter with more sentimental scenes, although the latter one was certainly a bit sadder than the first. It's sweet that Arabella told Percy the truth, and I can see romance growing between them that seems to fit a bit more than his dysfunctional relationship with his wife. I'm not sure what will come of it, but I'm interested to find out more.

Nicely done! As always, hope this is helpful.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I deliberately went sort of light on the details of Ron and Hermione's "alone time" in the Gaunt Shack. It really isn't that type of story. I just wanted to show that the two of them are human and still very much in love with one another, even after so many years of marriage.

Nott is a nasty piece of work. He certainly didn't come out of prison a better person than he went in, but then again, who does really? Goyle is maybe a little less horrible. He's still very much a follower. And he misses Draco in the sense that he wishes he had somebody else he trusts inside the Blood Order. I wouldn't get overly worried about Draco. You'll see...

For a squib, Elena is pretty insightful. She has already accepted it and believes that it is inevitable. We shall see whether she's correct. Dauzat was introduced to try to remind everyone that there is a larger world, and the rest of the world is paying attention to what's going on in Britain. To me, there would still be raw memories left over from the last "British war". And I couldn't help taking a dig at British cuisine. ;)

Percy and Arabela... So I wanted to make it realistic and understandable why she would want to help Percy unseat the Minister. After all, she's been his secretary for a long time. One might assume that she would want to see him stay in power. But don't give up on Percy and Audrey yet. There's more going on with him than meets the eye...

Thanks for another awesome review. I always look forward to them, and as I look back at everything I've written with an eye toward improving it, they are really very helpful!


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Review #8, by Beeezie 

17th July 2012:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review! Er - two months later. Sorry - I was away on holiday for awhile.


First section (Ron)
I had slightly mixed feelings about this section.

I really liked your portrayal of Ron and Hermione's relationship as well as both of their characters individually. There have been points in this story where I've really liked how you interpret the way the characters we knew in the books might have changed over time, and points where I felt like you kept them a bit too static. This is definitely an example of the former; I could easily see how Ron and Hermione would have grown up to be like this, and in some ways, I could see a ghost of their interactions regarding doing their homework when they were in Hogwarts in the beginning (with much more adult content, obviously).

As the section went on, however, I also felt like you showed that Ron has matured since then (which in some ways is obvious, but so many writers don't depict him in that way), and that Hermione has mellowed a bit. In that respect, the chapter was very well done.

However, while your treatment of Ron and Hermione as characters was excellent, I wasn't so sure about your treatment of the plot important information. In the first paragraph, I think she was reorganising the case file in a way that made more sense, but I had a hard time following (and visualising) what was going on. More importantly, there were points where I felt like you were presenting information because the readers needed to know it, and it didn't integrate well into the narrative.

For example, Hermione not knowing that the Aurors sometimes don't allow Magical Law Enforcement to copy everything struck me as odd - she's not an Auror, and I can see how that might not come up over dinner, but she does work in Magical Law Enforcement, and she's presumably of a pretty high rank. I would believe it if she said, "Oh, of course, I hadn't thought of that," but for her to apparently be completely ignorant about the idea made me feel like it was a fairly transparent attempt to relay the information to readers, rather than something that fit with the story.

There were a few other points like that, and I wish you'd integrated some of the information a bit better. The characterisation was good in this section, and I felt like there was important information being presented. I just wish the presentation had been a little smoother. (If that makes sense.)


Second section (Goyle)
Okay, I found this section really interesting. It wasn't very long, and at least as far as I could tell, it didn't reveal any crucial plot information, but it did give a new glimpse of the world that compliments where the story is right now nicely. The idea of magical children going to muggle schools is interesting and shows how their society has changed since the time of the books, and the attack also helps set the mood for the current atmosphere in the country. Nice job.

I'm still not wild about all of the povs, especially ones like this (that, at least as far as I can tell, is probably just going to be included this once), but that's personal preference, and I don't know who else you could have used to show this.


Third section (Harry)
This section was excellent. You fit a lot of important pieces into it, and you did it in a natural, interesting way.

There were some very important additions to the plot in this. The information about Katerina is probably the most important, and that was well done - I especially liked the bit about Katerina's sister and the locket. But you know that the information about Katerina is vital: it's obvious.

What's less obvious but what I liked just as much was the glimpse into international relations that you gave us. Harry's reluctance to open up to the French Auror despite the serious problem in Britain's Ministry was interesting and made a lot of sense, as did Esme's willingness to. Of course she doesn't care about tact or secrecy regarding the British Ministry - she's French.

Her openness also helped to establish more about her character on her grounds, not Harry's (which I think was important, given that she seems to be becoming a major character), and it was a nice way to show Harry's irritation and frustration with her. It seemed to me that Harry was irritated with her as much just to be irritated with her than anything she actually said or did, in part because of their past and in part because he feels emotionally vulnerable because of the thing with his parents, and surprise surprise, Harry deals with emotional vulnerability by getting annoyed.

That's Harry, through and through, IMO, and I think it's one thing that wouldn't have changed. Nice job in that respect as well - it was subtle, but it was definitely there.

My only issue with it was with some of the dialogue; some characters were written with obvious French accents, and some were not. I would have liked to see some difficulty understanding each other or thicker/milder accents, if you were going to include them at all. As is, it just felt odd. Other than that, though, this was terrific.


Fourth section (Percy)
Another excellent section. As with the second one, it was short, but I think you accomplished exactly what you needed to in it. You showed a side of Percy's personality that hints at what we saw in the books - ambition - and also that has been tempered since he was in school, presumably in part from the war. Nice job. I'm wondering how his giving into Arabela's prodding will turn out.

My only complaint about this section is that I would have liked to see a little more about Percy's relationship with her; when she started to talk about her family, you could have offered up some more detail about that (how long they've known each other, how close they've been for how long, etc).


All in all, this was a very nice chapter. My apologies again for the wait.

Author's Response: Hi, there. Long time, no see!

Ron's section -

One of the biggest challenges throughout the story, but also the most important, has been to age the characters realistically. I'm really glad you liked the way I aged Ron, because he is probably the trickiest of all. It's so hard to imagine how that goofy personality of his enters its seventh decade *and* to keep him out of the dreaded Second Banana Zone.

This section wasn't heavy on plot, as you indicate. It was much more about character development.

Goyle's section -

I think maybe you missed an important bit of plot in this section. Aside from the socio-political statement, the letter that Goyle is planning to send to Draco is quite significant. The choice of Goyle's PoV was necessary because he's the one who ultimately contacts Draco. No other reason.

Harry's section -

An awful lot happened in this one, and I'm happy that all of it seems to have come through. Aside from the part about the locket -- which, as you said, is pretty obvious -- the bit about how the different wizarding nations relate is significant for more than just context. It gives an idea of how Lady Tenabra views her priorities and the caliber of minions she's trusting to run the Ministry while she focuses on other things.

Esme does give too much away for Harry's taste. It's partly because she's talkative, but also partly because Dauzat intimidates her. She'd never admit that, of course, but he isn't head of the French Aurors for no reason. She's trying to talk their way out of a situation that doesn't actually exist, and if she'd been a bit more patient she might have known that. In that sense, there's definitely a contrast between her and Harry.

Eh, I can accept what you're saying about the dialog. Unfortunately, there are only so many ways to write a French accent.

Percy's section -

Again, I think you picked up on the key plot points. Arabela is nudging Percy in a certain direction for reasons that are not completely clear. I take your point that a little more definition of their past relationship might make it a little clearer. Then again, maybe I didn't want it to be 100% clear. ;)

No worries on the wait. It's your thread, your life, your priorities.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by Pixileanin 

7th June 2012:
I feel like I have to say something about Ron and Hermione getting creative...

You always take us all the way into the scene, adding as much detail as you can possibly fit in. Seems to be a trend. It's great because we get to know your characters inside and out. I really appreciate how you've not only created a riveting plot with all kinds of twists and turns, but that you have also managed to fit in so many deeper character explorations, while still moving everything forward. That takes talent, and a lot of divided focus. (I would love to get a peek at your outlines to see how you keep everything straight) :)


Yikes! Goyle! And Nott!

And they actually discover something after the mess they made! Talk about making a scene interesting... I think you went out of your way on that one... in a good way, of course. With the writing, not with the content, because that was pure evil, but you know what I mean.

The extra sloppy spells to make everything unreadable later was a fine touch. The thought of Goyle looking up Draco is quite disturbing, seeing as Draco is trying to keep himself and his family out of it for as long as possible. Oh well. I guess nothing lasts forever.

The interplay you've set up between Harry and Esme in previous scenes had set the atmosphere for their "surveillance" very nicely. I actually didn't need much in the way of explanation at the start of that scene. The actions of the characters spoke for themselves there. I really liked how Harry picked up on Elena's exit and was able to track her after their confrontation with her father. And then the run in with Dauzat kept us hopping - I really felt bad for Harry when he was trying to get more information and then Esme gave it all away like that. Very rash, but it fits perfectly with her personality. And do I detect a bit of foreshadowing? I know you're not going to tell me. That's okay. I'll keep reading.

Oh and another twist with Arabela. Makes me wonder if we're ever going to see a reconciliation between Percy and his wife at this point. Audrey has been conspicuously absent so far.

You continue to surprise, entertain, and paint fascinating pictures of these characters.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

To me, a couple that has been together as long as Ron and Hermione only maintain the level of passion they have for one another by getting a little "creative". Those kind of details are important, I think, if you're going to build real connections between the reader and the characters. You have to give the reader concrete things that they can relate to. OK, maybe most readers can't relate *exactly* to what Ron and Hermione are doing, but they get the idea. ;) Thanks for noticing, at any rate!

Goyle and Nott are idiots, but the have their uses in the story. And Goyle is very sincere about his desire to recruit Draco. He's a dumb guy who is essentially friendless now that Gamp has gone off the deep end and he's surrounded by killers. Not a fun place to be. He remembers Draco as somebody who was at least tolerant of him if not especially kind. Any port in a storm...

Harry and Esme are starting to get more comfortable around one another, and they do actually work well together. Wherever could I be taking this? ;)

Arabela's story is a little more complex than I initially let on. And Audrey does still exist, by the way. I just haven't found any way to incorporate her that adds to the story.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and for your great reviews!


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Review #10, by Nicole 

5th June 2012:
three words: absolutely loving this :D

Author's Response: Five words back to you, then: Thanks for reading and reviewing! ;)

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Review #11, by Jchrissy 

4th June 2012:
My apologies in advance is this review sounds a bit chopping, I have been rereading this chapter throughout the morning when I get a minute and typing down notes. No sitting outside and drinking coffee for me today, boo!


I feel like it has been way more than a day..

Letís jump right in!

I love that you have Hermione counteracting Lady Tís thoughts. She is getting overconfident and didnít expect her fake to be found, never underestimate the trio ;).

The more we learn about her, the more convinced I become it isnít even blood order she wants, just power.

Anyway, back to Ron and Hermione. I canít believe how realistic you have made them. The second they have some alone time, Ron wants to cuddle up, itís adorable.

Hermioneís hope that good will still win over evil in this situation is so touching. She knows that the Ministry is under some kind of control, but she canít let the hope that their innocence should be enough, die.

Goyle lacks so much intelligence, yet fails to see that. Mixed with his violence, he really is a path for disaster. Honestly, I hope Lady T gets rid of him soon. You brought this scene to the Malfoys (Or, the thought of them, at least) in a very smooh transition. We now know we can expect to hear from them soon.. I wish they would have stayed in Switzerland. :(. Octavia is reintroduced... ahh. She is definitely going to end up in this mess. Poor baby :(.


The scene with Esme, Harry, and Dauzart is really creative. Those little facts about how things are actually happening, not just having Harry and Esme skipping through Europe, is part of what brings your story to life.


I started to feel bad for Arabela. You clearly are one heck of a writer, I know what and who she is, and I still started to feel bad for her. What I canít figure out is what sheís actually trying to achieve! Am I missing something? Should I re-read any certain chapters? I am pretty sure she really isnít in it for Blood Purity, and if she simply wanted power then she could have gone about it a much more sane way, seriously, am I missing something?!?!?!?


You have, again, answered a few questions by giving us a million more. I feel like you have successfully made sure no one will be able to quit your story half way through. It is so captivating, you better get your little fingers typing so the ending is out by the time I get caught up ;)!

Oops, I just remembering something I wanted to add. Sorry that it is out of order!

But, again with Ron and Hermione. You really have made them the perfect pair. So many next gen fan fics have them fighting, divorcing, unhappy, or not together. They survived so much together, and their lives are completely intertwined. I donít think anything between them would ever occur that they couldnít work through. The fact that they are such a necessary, huge part of this story makes me love it that much more.


Okay, back to work for good this time.

I have a meeting with a family to set up behavioral and teaching evaluations with their toddler twin boys! It made me think of you, gotta love with FanFiction word mixes with RL ;)!

Author's Response: Ha! I love the frenetic energy of your review. So much going on. You're challenging me to recall everything I actually put into this chapter.

Hermione wants more than anything to be able to go back to fighting against the Blood Order from the "right" side of the law. It's just who she is. She has an enormous respect for order and the rule of law, and being wanted bothers her tremendously. I'm really glad you like they way I've written the two of them. They are a very loving couple to me, as well as being somewhat, uh, adventurous. ;) I think of Ron as still being just as smitten with her as he became during DH. He just hides it a bit better now.

Goyle is a buffoon. All throughout the books, he and Crabbe were almost comic relief, and I still think of him mostly in that role. He will become very useful in the not-too-distant future, however.

I felt like I needed to at least acknowledge that Harry and Esme couldn't just run around France willy-nilly without some consideration of the fact that he's wanted and she's supposed to be in Britain. Dauzat might make an interesting one-shot at some point.

It you felt bad for Arabela, then I did my job with the section featuring her and Percy. Enough said. And, no, I don't think you've missed anything. You just don't have all the pieces yet.

What does Lady Tenabra really want? You are correct in that she has no interest in a pure blood revolution. She needed something to help her destabilize the government, and the pure bloods were easy to manipulate. Simple as that.

Have a good day at work, and good luck with those little boys! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by Elenia 

6th May 2012:
Let's ignore the fact that I'm here again... d:

So, on with the review. This was an awesome chapter.

Once again, I adore the dynamics between Ron and Hermione, I think you've done a great job with their characters! It was nice to read the scene from Ron's POV, his thoughts made me chuckle.

That scene gave us some answers and also explained how some things work inside the ministry. Those are the things that make your story even more unique, those little explanations show how well you've actually developed this whole story and the world JKR has given us. Amazing, that's all I can say.

Oh, and the 'strict healer and naughty patient' - that was just priceless. I can really imagine that being something they would do. I really don't want to be imagining that! But now I can't get that image out of my head! You're evil, did you know that?

Haha, I was actually going to comment in this review about the Malfoys and the fact that we haven't seen as much of them that I thought we would. But that scene with Goyle suggests that maybe there will be something about them soon, so I'll just wait patiently.

That whole scene was interesting and cruel. I felt so bad for the witch, so I think you did a really good job describing the atrocity of the scene. Goyle's thoughts about that being a job he really enjoyed to do made me shiver.

Your plot development is just superb. I honestly admire you so much for keeping this all together so well! I got so many new questions from the scene with Harry and Esme even though the plot took another leap forwards. Can't wait to get answers for them all. I'll probably have to read this whole story again once you've finished it, only to see how many little details I haven't noticed!

I like how you included the French magical Government into this scene and that way granted Harry and Esme a safe return back to the UK, although I have to admit, I would've wanted to see how you would've sneaked them in if they didn't get the help.

Also, now that they can get back quicker, why do I have the feeling that they're going to walk in on Ron and Hermione... playing? ^^

Last scene was... interesting? Wonder what will come out of all that?

Do you know how hard it is for me to not click the 'next chapter' -button now?

See you again soon (:

~E

Author's Response: Say, who is this new reader? I don't recognize the username. ;)

After being married for over 40 years, I feel like Ron and Hermione need to mix things up a bit to keep it interesting. I'm sure Harry and Ginny were the same way, but that's too sad to think about. And I wanted to work something into the scene that helped to develop their characters some more, because aside from that, this scene is pretty much just dry plot delivery. And you're welcome for that image stuck in your head. :-P

I struggled quite a bit with how to portray Goyle in that section. I don't want to make him sympathetic, because there's really nothing sympathetic about the guy. He's a pure blood supremacist and an escaped convict. But he's also in way over his head. He's just not bright enough to hold his own around an evil mastermind like Lady Tenabra or even a medium-grade flunky like Nott. That's why he's so eager to recruit Draco: he trusts him. Honestly, his character is starting to remind me of Lucius, only without the refinement and the big vocabulary and the money.

I felt like I couldn't bring Harry and Esme back to France without at least touching on their legal situation. Having been the Head Auror for a long time, I felt reasonably sure that Harry would have relationships with some of his foreign counterparts, like Dauzat. And the fact that Tenabra's puppet government hadn't issued international warrants is something of a testament to how overconfident she's become.

I really thought about having them walk in on Ron and Hermione, but I wasn't quite sure how to play that without it sounding forced or tacky, so I let it be.

The last scene kind of puts a different spin on Arabela. Maybe she's a little more complicated than she seemed up to this point?

Thanks for sharing a part of your day with me! OK, a BIG part of your day. I really appreciate it!


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Review #13, by shadowcat2 

30th April 2012:
Another brilliant chapter. You know what? I don't know whether I want Esme to be with Harry. I mean I don't want Harry to suffer any more. But Harry with anyone but Ginny doesn't seem right.

Anyway,i think i was being silly when I thought Arabela was Lady Tenabra. She is obviously much nicer person. Moving to the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: I have the same misgivings about Harry and Esme. To be honest, I still haven't decided how that's going to end.

Arabela is sort of complicated, isn't she? Everyone has a back story, and I've tried really hard not to make anybody too simple. We shall see...

Thanks for your amazing marathon of reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

6th April 2012:
Ah, long time no see! In truth I have had this chapter opened on my computer for the past week but I haven't read it because I have six chapters to catch up with and I really wanted to get them all done at once.

But that doesn't seem to be working out.

Honestly, I have been away for quite some time that with most of the stories I have forgotten what has happened in the last chapter. I remember bits and pieces of what happened last with this one but I feel like this was more of a 'turn of events' chapter. Now we're really going to get the ball rolling because Harry and Esme have this person they're looking for, Percy is finally making progress (in a good or bad direction, I haven't decided) and even Ron and Hermione have information that they need to dig into. This chapter was more of the 'set-up.'

I was actually a bit surprised by the Ron and Hermione interaction because I think we do forget that the two are married and 'romantically involved,' that's the best statement I can use to keep this review '12.' It does make you think about what else we don't know about the pairing when they were together all those years ago when say, Harry was sulking by himself or off fighting Voldemort in the woods, what conversations were they having?

I can't comment on Percy just yet because he's such a complex character in this story. I never know which way he's heading sometimes. Arabela, I still don't trust her. Something about her just doesn't sit well with me.

Oh! I know what I wanted to comment on now. The Malfoy's! I'm going to guess that you gave us a bit of a foreshadowing because if Goyle is going to try talking to Draco again, we all know Draco isn't going to try and help them. He's going to give them the same response he gave Flint. But somehow, incorporating the granddaughter gives me this feeling that you're going to do something to her, sort of as a 'Well, your family chose the wrong side' and 'you have her in Muggle school, waste of pure blood.' But I could be wrong, just seems like the way to go to really push everyone into gear. I would imagine if Octavia or someone around her age would be affected much worse than Hermione because of the age/size of her body, but I'm no scientist.

And I'm just throwing it out there, but I think Esme is going to be killed. I wouldn't be upset about it either, just saying.

I think this is the shortest review I have ever given you. Sorry about that, I'm a bit rusty!

Author's Response: Pfft. Long, short... I like them all! And it's very nice to have you back again!

This chapter does set a few new things in motion. The section with Ron and Hermione alone in the Gaunt Shack was basically just there to delivery some plot, so I had to throw something in to make it more interesting. It is sort of hard to think of them as being in a "real" adult relationship sometimes, I agree. But those 2 kids didn't come from the pumpkin patch, as my granny used to say.

Percy takes sort of a wandering path through this story. You're not meant to always know exactly what's going through his head.

Goyle really does want to get back in touch with Draco, but his motivations are completely self-interested at this point. None of the other Blood Order members really like him and he's in way over his head. He thinks that Draco would make a good ally, so he's going to try to succeed where Flint failed. It probably won't go well, but it will serve an important purpose later on. 'Nuff said...

We shall see what happens with Esme. I kind of like her, so I hope I don't have to kill her.

Like I said, it's great to see you back. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by Ashling586 

22nd March 2012:
Another wonderful story. Every time I begin reading one of your chapters I tell myself that I will be sure to read it with a critical eye so as to give the best review I can, but then I get so caught up with the chapter that I end up concentrating on the story. I guess when you think about it that is a very good thing.
I really liked the strict healer and naughty patient part, that was hilarious and I could so see the two of them doing something like that in the bedroom. I think Harry and Esme would make the cutest little couple.
I have to agree with Esme's attitudes towards Elenia's father. Just because a child is born a squib doesn't mean they are less of a person. Muggles survive everyday without magic.
Part of me thinks that Katerina might have something to do with the dark lady. I have been thinking that Arabela was the evil one but then that sad sorry she gave Percy made me doubt that a bit, but then again she could just be a very good liar.
I will just have to keep reading to find out since I know that you wont tell me ahead of time.

Author's Response: Hello, again.

I'll take that as high praise. If I can keep a reader sufficiently enthralled in the story that they gloss right over any little problems, I don't think I can really do any better than that.

Ron and Hermione's private bedroom game was just a fun way to liven up a section that really serves no purposes aside from serving up a dry bit of plot, so I'm glad you liked it. I do try to humanize my characters as much as possible, and I hope that helped.

I hope that it didn't come off as though Msr. Porcher treats Elena like less of a person because she is non-magical. What I was striving for was overly protective, in a very angry, confrontational way. Maybe I should re-read that section...

Katerina does have something to do with Lady Tenabra, but it will be a little while before you find out exactly what. So sorry to make you wait, but it would really spoil the surprise!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by ginerva_molly_weasley 

18th March 2012:
Right here I am with a requested review!

This chapter seems to be very insightful into the plot and whilst i a way it seems an almost filler chapter I think it has also helped quite a lot with the plot development by telling us about Katrina's family and how her sister is very concerned about her. There is less flicking between points of view with only 3 different situations going on which helps enhance the flow a lot in here.

The first part gives a lot of technical information about the case that Hermione and Ron have found out especially with identifying the discrepancies between the case notes and also identifying the person who did the Crime Scene Report as that could lead to a breakthrough in the case particularly because he seems to have disappeared/gone into hiding so I think that will be an interesting case to follow.

I also found it very interesting as you told us about Hermione and Ron's relationship whilst they were in the hideout about how they slightly found it awkward even though they'd been married x number of years. The little anecdote about Harry walking in on them made me laugh because I can totally see that happening although the idea of Hermione agreeing to in in Grimmauld Place is a little strange!

I like how you also gave the banter between Esme and Harry such as referring to her bony rear end and having to wait for a long time for anyone to appear. The family seemed quite aloof however I think you showed sibling camaraderie quite well because although Katrina's sister was a squib that both stuill cared about the other very much and that was shown very effectively with her defying her father to try and make sure that her sister was okay.

Percy is just the sweetest thing in this story because he just doesn't seem to realise the effect he could have on the ministry if he campaigned to be minister. I now sort of understand why Arabela un-nerved me a little. She seemed to have a lot going on in her past so now I see why she wants Percy to become minister as she doesn't want her experiences to happen to anyone else...

Another very good chapter!

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Every so often, you have to slow down the action and serve up some plot and this was definitely one of those chapters. Ron and Hermione's section is almost pure plot, aside from a bit of insight into the dynamic of their marriage. The incident at Grimmauld Place is something of an inside joke: a reference to something that happens in my beta reader's story, Evolution. But I loved the scene, so I wanted to find a way to incorporate it.

Katerina is another possible avenue for Harry to work his way back to Lady Tenabra, plus her back story is tied into Esme's more than is initially apparent. I'm also trying to evolve a relationship between Harry and Esme that could go either way. I really haven't decided.

And Percy's section. This was mostly about adding more back story to Arabela. I know that most readers are struggling to figure her out. Which is by design, of course. ;-) I need some plausible alter egos for Lady Tenabra.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by CloakAuror9 

16th March 2012:
One month without your story...just one month and I come back so overwhelmed by the length of your chapters! I think I got used to shorter chapters that when I read this...I was all like 'this person is wonderful! there's so much words!' Ahahaha. :))

This is amazing. This chapter answered so many questions, but there's still a heap more left. I have no idea how this is going to all work out, but I know its going to be great. Really great!

Esme and Harry, I must admit even though I stopped reviewing I had them in my mind during the whole time. I think it would be great if they get together and I would be happy for Harry if he does. But I think, he's feelings will slowly clear out soon.

I really missed you and your story! And 25 chapters, my my! Some great progress happening here!

Just fantastic,
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: I'm so pleased to have you back! I need smilies in my review responses!

Certain parts of the picture are becoming a lot more clear. I wanted to give the reader a chance to form something of an opinion about Esme before just dumping her back story on them. It seems like that approach worked for you, which pleases me a great deal. Their feelings for each other are evolving in a awkward sort of fits-and-starts way. We'll just have to see where it ends up.

Yeah, 25 chapters. It hardly seems possible. Thanks so much for sticking with me! I appreciate your reviews more than you know.


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Review #18, by Remus 

9th March 2012:
Hey!

It's slow enough here so I have time to review your chapters. Ron and Hermione's conversation was both interesting and hilarious! However, here's a tidbit...a girl like Hermione is always in control of her life and sadly, sometimes of others...like Ron. Behind closed doors though, she seems more like the 'patient' one while Ron could be the 'naughty healer'. No longer in control but relaxed while the 'naughty healer' is in charge. Hahaha...I read too many women's health magazines...

Nott and Goyle part of the Ministry's security...that sounds scary, really! And the fact that they know where Octavia goes to school is even scarier. I have no idea if you plan on doing something with that...but yeah...

The entire chapter was great...Arabela, she's messing with Percy. He's still the pawn in all of this.

So...that's all I guess. A small review better than nothing, right?

:D

--Perelandra

Author's Response: Hello, again.

I really like your perspective on Ron and Hermione's role-playing. It makes a lot of sense. The next time I write this ship, I am totally down for that!

Nott and Goyle are a couple of clowns, but they're the kind of clowns that people have nightmares about. The scene serves a particular purpose, which will become apparent in 7 or 8 chapters.

Arabela is actually quite sincere about her childhood. I'll tell you that much. How those facts integrate into the larger story... well, it remains to be seen.

And a small review is just fine. I appreciate them all, regardless of length! Thanks so much, as always!


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Review #19, by Roots in Water 

16th February 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Another fantastic chapter! I think that you're doing a great job with your balance between character development and plot progression- you manage to do both very well at the same time without one hindering the other.

And your plot certainly isn't getting boring- you threw me for a loop with the introduction of Gregory Goyle- his sudden interest in Draco is very interesting because I can see the domino effect it could have. If Gregory actually does make contact with Draco and tells him important information about the New Blood Order, it would allow Draco the necessary means to give (perhaps through Scorpius to the Weasley family to Ron, Hermione and Harry) the information they need to truly start fighting against the New Blood Order. What I find so fascinating is the way you're creating more and more links between your different story lines- it'll be very interesting to see their reactions when it all comes together. I love it when that happens in the stories I read and I'm very excited for that moment in yours!

Another thing I find exciting about your plot is the story line between Arabela and Percy. If Arabela is who I think she is (a certain lady), then why does she want Percy to run for Minister? Is she trying to flush out her competition? I could see how it would benefit her because she's encouraging him to seek out people friendly to "their" side of the war, allowing her to learn the names of the people who oppose her Order. She could then kill them, eliminating her opposition... If this is her plan, she's very smart and has a very layered plan. How do you think of all these things?

As well, Arabela's family history was very sad but also very interesting at the same time. It definitely helps the reader to understand her motives better unless you're trying to remove reader suspicion away from her. If so, it's definitely a very good move but I'm still suspicious of her. Something about her and her actions definitely seems off.

I think that you're doing an absolutely fantastic job of balancing the many story lines and characters you're writing. Just as one story line starts to slow you introduce another one to keep the reader's interest (like in this chapter with Gregory Goyle's renewed interest in Draco) and you always manage to allow each character to shine. This ability makes for a very interesting read.

Another example of this was the lovely moment between Ron and Hermione at the beginning of the chapter. It was very sweet to see that their love for each other is still strong, even after all those years.

All in all I really enjoyed reading this chapter and I love how you're constantly bringing new elements to this story. Thanks for requesting and I hope my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hello, again. Sorry it's taken me a long time to respond. I was traveling for work the past few days, so my HPFF time was severely limited.

We hadn't heard from Goyle and Nott in a long time, so I wanted to make sure that nobody forgot about them. Goyle has purely selfish motivations for wanting to get in touch with Draco, but you're right, some good will come of it.

I'm sorry, but I just can't comment too much on Arabela and Percy without giving it all away. I do **really** appreciate you sharing your reaction with me, because it helps to gauge just how I'm portraying her in the story.

A lot of these story lines are going to start converging very soon. I'm so excited!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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