9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Debra20 

7th February 2013:
Susan, what have you done with my heart? After this chapter it's shattered in thousands of different pieces never to be whole again. You can't imagine how I cried during this chapter. What I said may not be the most original line, but I did cry until my vision was so blurred that I couldn't see the letters any more! I can't imagine what's to happen next after this heart wrenching chapter.

Seriously, I think I only cried like this when Snape and Dumbledore died in HP and when characters from Game of Thrones die. Your Moody is up there with the best characters from my favourite two book series ever. It's fascinating how even though I KNEW he dies, and have read in Deathly Hallows that he dies, a scene like this can bring forth such emotion.

How much more is Lily going to go through? In only a day she lived more than some people live throughout their whole life. It's almost a cruel joke that this was what got her out of her boredom. I commend you for being able to transmit the feeling that between the moment we were first introduced to Lily, the crippled, bored girl and this moment, almost thirty years passed. It's not easy to convey that but you pulled it off so well!

Also, WHO IS THAT WOMAN IN THE PORTRAIT? It's driving me crazy haha. But more than ever I suspect it's her. I may be awfully wrong but I can't help but think that it's Lily. A Lily from the past that would have chosen to stay with him, surrender sense to feeling and forsake the perils of time. Another hint to her being Lily is that half of the woman's face is burnt. And I have a terrible feeling that the flame spell Lily cast bounded on her. That the winds were so powerful that they turned her flame towards her direction. I'm already dreading the next chapter if my hunches are right...

Author's Response: Ah, this chapter. Of a story of sad chapters, this is the most sad. First of all for the obvious reason, but also for its effect on Lily - she survives and goes on, but it can never be the same for her after this point, no matter what happens. I'm so sorry that this chapter made you cry, though! Yet it's also wonderful that the chapter was successful, that it did what I hoped it would.

What I liked about including this chapter is that, while it occurs only hours after chapter 2, it feels like so much more time has passed - thirty years, like you've said. And Lily has lived those years in fragments, transforming from that bored girl who had given up on her life into a hero. I don't want to say that she's grown up, but she has developed in other ways, and by having her return to 1997 - the first time she travelled to - we can see that development and its effect upon her decisions. By this point, she has found the answers to nearly all of her questions, even if she doesn't always tell her audience what those answers are.

The foremost of these omissions is the identity of the portrait. She has seen its face, but it's not clear whether she's repressed the knowledge out of fear, or whether she just doesn't want to tell anyone, even her audience.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I really look forward to seeing what you think of the next chapter. :D

 Report Review

Review #2, by BellaCamille 

13th August 2012:
Oh my goodness! How wonderfully you are tying this up! This is so perfectly tied together and the details are never forgotten. The eye? Brilliant.

Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you! I'm so glad that the parts of the plot came together well! It's wonderful to hear that. :D

 Report Review

Review #3, by Lillylover22 

12th May 2012:
Oh lily. This is so sad 10/10 :)

Author's Response: This chapter is a particularly painful one - both to have written and for Lily to have experienced. :'(

 Report Review

Review #4, by fuzzypurpleangel 

9th March 2012:
OMG :O This chapter was so graphic. I'm normally lazy, and rarely ever review, and I apologize that I didn't review for earlier chapters. I usually just hit add to favorites when it's good. But this time, i had to review. I think all the stories that you wrote so far that i read are sooo original. Lily II and Moody? That's like almost unthinkable, even though it's a time travel fic. I think it's really nice, though. (Even thought the thought of old Moody and that girl on the banner is sort of disturbing...) So, please keep posting!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing, though! I hoped that writing a shocking chapter would bring people out of the woodwork - and it did! :D It means a lot to hear that you think my stories are original and that you've enjoyed reading them.

It is a little disturbing, and often because it's all in words I don't always think about that aspect of it - then when I re-read and visualize it, I have to rethink those passages in case they're too... uncomfortable. It's definitely a problem with writing time travel stories. :S

Thanks again for taking the time to read and review! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #5, by Snapdragons 

28th February 2012:
Ha, remember how I said last chapter was heartbreaking? Just kidding. This is heartbreaking. This is even worse. how do you do this? D: agh

First off: she figured out how to use the cabinet. Loved the line about how it had been using her. But one of my other favorites was definitely this - For what was a person but their time? The times they failed. The times they succeeded. All action, all feeling, was based on time. and how time controls you. You have these sentences just scattered about and they're just so profoundly beautiful and perfect that it just makes you pause to take them in for a minute.

Moody's wife is kind of creepy - I'm not totally sure where I stand with her. She's resentful, and I can understand that - though I admit I was a little confused at some points, like what it was that Lily brushed off as a trick of the light - but then again, I do often miss small details. :)

His last moments... ahhh. I remembered how in DH they hadn't been able to find his body, and how oddly/sadly fitting that it was Lily who made it disappear. Yet... at the same time, I'm glad she burned it - it wouldn't be right to have the Snatchers take it.

But now I'm curious as to what he meant! gahhh, cryptic till the end, that Moody.

How a magic eye does not burn. How could I have forgotten? Such a powerful ending. I absolutely loved it.

I feel as these are slowly becoming more and more rambling/less and less coherent as time goes on, but I'll do my best to wrap it all up in the next review. :P Onward!

Author's Response: Yes, this chapter is the really, really, really bad one. I was in agony writing it because it's so incredibly sad - I don't know why I do this to myself, or better yet, to readers. She finally finds out so much, only to have so much more wrenched from her grasp.

I wish I knew where those lines came from! It takes a weird mood to write this story with a lot of weepy and romantic music, not to mention a darkened room - then those kinds of phrases emerge. Lily has such a way of saying these things - it's almost scary to have her inside of my head.

Haha, those small details. :P You'll see. Just you wait!

The end portions of this chapter required a lot of canon-finangling so that it would all fit together. I think the timing was or is off somewhere by a few hours, but for the most part, I wanted this story to be an extension of the canon - it may be a seemingly impossible pairing and plot, but it still fits into the timeline. The eye posed a problem because, originally, I wanted her to come across it in her own time, but I found out that'd be impossible because Harry buried it in the Forest of Dean. Silly Harry, getting rid of something so important!

Anyway, look who's rambling now? :P Thank you again for reading this story, enjoying it, and leaving these lovely reviews! Following you through the story is a great experience. :D

 Report Review

Review #6, by justonemorefic 

13th January 2012:

I don't know what to think about his wife - haven't quite figured out why she's scarred. I almost get the feeling she did that for him. There is something terrible about her, and if it's obsessiveness, I can see it. She hates Lily because she's free, perhaps because she can choose when to return via the cabinet?

But omg omg Moody at his last moments ;_; So many tears. In the HP books, we just know he died, but here, we have to face him at his dying breaths. It is so perfect that the last time he sees Lily, they both know as much as the other knows (or so it seems for the time being), but just as tragic at the same time. I can't even peek at those passages without getting emotional.

♥ I (on Gubby's behalf as well) am now going to commence update nagging.

Author's Response: Now that I'm finally responding, I see that I've already made you wait way too long for the update. But that will change tonight! ;)

The wife is modelled on Bertha Mason and Rebecca de Winter, so there is something horrific about her - I used the scars as a physical symbol of that monstrosity, but there's something else to it too. Much of it has to do from being left alone in the portrait for so many years, unable to exit into the "real" world - she's always an image, one that can speak, but never anything more. But there's obviously a history between her and Moody that has shattered their relationship - I haven't worked out what it is yet, but I know the rest. :P She does hate Lily because of her freedom to move, to be there at his death, to give him comfort - Mrs. Moody never stopped loving her husband, but she's extremely jealous of Lily, knowing that Lily has always been the object of Moody's affection.

Yes, all the feelings right there, eh? *evil grin* I imagined this scene pretty early in the planning stages and wanted to make it as emotional as possible. It ended up containing a lot less dialogue than the original plan, but that makes it better, actually, because Moody isn't coherent and it gives Lily more pain with the lack of closure between them.

And, inevitably, there's a whole Snape's death vibe going through that moment. I couldn't help it. *hides*

I need the nagging because I'm terrible at following through with stories and/or updating regularly. This story has come along the best in both regards so far, so here's hoping that it'll continue until the end. ^_^ Thank you again for all of your fabulous reviews!

 Report Review

Review #7, by hermione_weasley_angel 

6th January 2012:
I love this story. I just stumbled across it a few hours ago, and have been reading all 9 chapters non-stop. I love how this story references and reminds me of Jane Eyre in some areas (did I mention Jane Eyre is one of my absolute favourite classic?) and it just makes me love this story even more!

I love the romance between Moody and Lily, I'm a sucker for romance. :') But this chapter is incredibly sad, a part of me was hoping she'd be able to save Moody, but I understand that you're trying to keep this canon, so he had to die. :(

I cannot wait for your next update! :)

Author's Response: Oh wow, this is a fabulous review to receive! It's wonderful to hear that you came across this story and enjoyed it so much. Jane Eyre is fabulous, isn't it? ^_^ I've always wanted to write something inspired by it, but the governess-employer plot doesn't fit very well into the Potterverse. Then when this idea came along... I couldn't resist! :D

It's great to hear that the romance is working out so well - I wanted this to be a powerful love story even though it's a very random pairing, and it means a lot that you like hot it's turning out. Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #8, by SunSation Gal 07 

5th January 2012:
Aww, she was with him when he died. Kept them from getting his body. -tear- So sweet. And only three more? Aww, poo! I love this story!

Author's Response: Thank you, Lee! I love that you love this story, and that this chapter called forth a tear - just the reaction I was hoping for, but it's hard to tell whether it'll actually happen. Only three more, yes. :( It'll be sad to finish writing it, but it'll be a nice feat to finish another WIP! :D

 Report Review

Review #9, by GubraithianFire 

4th January 2012:
I know I've been remiss with reviews lately (although I can't really remember if I've ever not been remiss with reviews tbh), but I've been following this fic and your others closely. This one especially just kills me with every update, and I always start moping and nursing my poor broken heart after I read. But this chapter. This chapter, I can't even... I don't know how to begin to describe all the emotions this fic evokes. It's delicately stunning, but it's also the type of fic where I feel like I'm being bashed repeatedly over the head -- in a good way, I promise! I have awful fic memory, so reading this fic, I never remember exactly what happened in the chapter before (note to self: read this all the way through, since this deserves an attentive reader), but I do remember that it made me extraordinarily sad, and I'm in awe of how you keep this delicate/desperate/sweeping/epic mood throughout. Lily and Moody's love story is extraordinary, and it takes my breath away every damn time, and I know I'm being slightly incoherent/rambly/repetitive but I can't help it. Just... gah, the feelings, Susan! I am, I'll admit, surprised that there is so much left of the story to get to, but I can't wait, and I'm very curious about this slightly different style and the direction you'll take this story in. Thank you so much for writing this, truly, you're an inspiration.

Author's Response: :O :O :O

I have broken Gubby's heart with each chapter?! That is good (artistically), but it is also very bad (morally). It's supposed to be sad, and I'm pleased to hear that it actually is (and not just in my head - I've become too emotionally attached to this story, my first "actually planned ahead and going through with original plan" plot). I wanted to be emotional without being over-dramatic - most of the time, Lily doesn't reveal much of the drama and certainly doesn't reveal in it. She's very quiet, and so is he, for all his action and passion.

Delicate is the perfect word to describe how this story feels to write - I feel the need to pay 20x more attention to word choice and rhythm in this story than any other WIP. It's more like an extended version of my one-shot style, which is something I've never been able to carry through an entire longer work. There's no straight storytelling in this story - every word counts - and maybe that's why I enjoy writing it so much, as well as why it's so emotionally consuming to write.

ANYWAY (getting off-track!), I'm not set on three chapters - specifically, two chapters and an epilogue - but I've left room for Lily to sort herself out and put together the pieces of the puzzle. The first part of this may turn out shorter, depending on how sparse the style ends up being. The main problem is in returning to her own time - how does she work through the things she has seen and felt and lived?

Thank you for this review! It was definitely the most uplifting moment of the day to read this review and flail about. To have you like this story so much is absolutely fantastic, the best possible compliment. ^_^

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review