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18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 

7th May 2015:
Hi there, Dan. Iím embarrassed to say that I just realized I havenít left you a review since January. Ugh! Iím terrible. I also came to the realization that Iíve read this chapter at least five times. Probably more. So, if youíve noticed a higher read count on this particular chapter, you can chalk that up to me. :)

Iím in love with Hermione in the beginning of this chapter! She completely takes charge of her situation and executes a plan that will get her what she needs - information.

There were familiar notes of Audrey in her voice, Hermione thought, and it made her cringe on the inside. One of those in the family was enough.

Ugh. Audrey. I sorta feel bad for Percy right now, but heís got his own problems.

And - I actually get some sort of sick pleasure reading about Harry squirming under the nurseís ministrations and admonitions. Okay, so he doesnít so much squirm as get a little hot. But it was fun to read all the same. And I guess she got the last laugh with the sleeping potion - haha!

Monitoring chams at Hogwarts! What sorcery is this?! It seems the New Blood Order has indeed permeated deep into the two main institutions of the wizarding world: The Ministry and Hogwarts.

I love your Dumbledore.

ďI believe,Ē Dumbledore began, stroking his beard and staring into space, ďthat a great many lives could have been spared if wizards in positions of authority had taken such precautions fifty years ago. But we must exercise the utmost care that we do not provoke a war where none need occur.Ē

This was so perfectly APWBD, itís not even funny.

Ah, Percy. Of all the Weasleys, heís the most easily swayed by the prospect of advancement and propriety. Itís no wonder Arabela chose him.

Percy found that his lunches with Arabela were always a sort of pleasant blur in his mind.

This smells like memory-modification. Percy! How can you be so daft?!

As he turned the corner onto Whitehall, he was struck by a peculiar feeling. At first, it was as though heíd forgotten something, something important that he very much needed to remember. He strained to think of what it might be.

Now Iím even more convinced. He told her something he shouldnít have. Something that is going to hurt everyone he loves. Didnít he? Dan! What are you doing?!
He did! I know it. She coaxed something out of him and now theyíre all in dangerÖ

Ooo! Weíve got a new character: Cepheus Black - aka Xerxes the Seer. You have such an incredible talent for introducing them in clever ways. The reader absorbs all the details, and ďfeelsĒ the personality and other little details. Itís downright remarkable that you can do this in such a few words. I already know so much about Cepheus. Whatís this? HmmÖ Iím inclined to think this information is false - more fuel to the fire about that the New Blood Order is trying to stoke. (Also, Iím thinking about the title of this chapter.) It definitely seems far fetched - even for a desperate minister. But in your story, anything is possibleÖ this just smells fishy.

Ahh, back to Lady Tenabra. Iíve noticed she doesnít like to get her hands dirty. She canít find anyone with enough skill to kill Harry, but doesnít seem to be willing to do it herself. Okay - Iím trying to remember what these documents might be. Maybe itís something new. Sheís the mistress of misdirection, that one. Planting false evidence (I have a feeling Hermione will sniff that one out), sending fake memos to radio personalities, and starting up an anti-muggle campaign.

My questions remains: Why?

Awesome job - again. Gotta read on.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I've put off responding to these two reviews for far too long. They just look so nice in my Unanswered!

Hermione gets pretty sore with Lucy at the start of the chapter. She has a point, too. And you're right, she gets what she wants out of it. I did feel a little badly about writing Hermione's mental knock on Audrey into this, considering what's happening between her and Percy at this point in the story. I'd just excuse it by saying that Hermione doesn't realize yet just how deeply the issue runs.

Harry is a terrible patient. I think we can all agree on that.

Thanks for the kind words about Dumbledore! He's so difficult to write and have it sound like him.

Percy is a bit daft here. And it seems like his subconscious mind is trying to tell him something, although he can't quite figure out what it is.

The addition of Cepheus Black was the main reason this chapter ended up being so long. I put that scene in at the last minute because so many readers were asking questions about Xerxes the Seer and whether he was the nefarious mastermind behind the Blood Order. As you can see, that's not likely. ;)

Lady Tenabra keeps her hands as clean as possible. It's not her style to operate in the open or do her own dirty work. That's one of the biggest differences between her and Voldemort, although there are certainly others.

Why is she doing all of this? She has a plan and certain things need to happen for that plan to work. You'll see a lot more of it before the story is finished.

Are we having fun yet? I am really enjoying your thoughts and theories! Thanks so much for the awesome reviews!


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Review #2, by GingeredTea 

27th January 2015:
You know, when the Lady talked about playing with some of the people in the Ministry...I am really starting to think that Arabela IS her...

What is happening to Percy??

Oh, Mr. Black seems like he's definitely been used...he won't like that when he figures it out, since he seems to pride himself on using others. LOL

And I'm really really really curious about who this Lady is (I'm not using any of the names, because I agree that it is made up - maybe all of them).

Author's Response: :) You know I can't just tell you whether you're right or wrong. It would spoil all the fun.

Percy is in a very complicated situation. Some of his problems are of his own making and some are not. Things haven't been right for him since Ginny died, but then again things haven't been right for anyone since then.

I added Eridanus Black into this chapter only because so many readers had been speculating that "Xerxes the Seer" was a secretly powerful dark wizard pulling the strings behind the Blood Order. As you can see, he's not. That was the only point of having him pop up here.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #3, by APerkins 

23rd October 2013:
Oooh. . So now I see why u made such an issue of percy needing arabella! Awesome! I love this!

I have to admit I needed that prod from harry in the last chapter "sounds like a made up name"
But pieces are starting to fit together. I hadnt suspected arabella before. And again, knowing the minister is week, and things that he should be protecting are missing should have given me a clue or two..
So enjoying the ride :)
And after last chapter I had to Google tenebra. Cause it was clicking in my head, but it turns out I was just mixing it up with penumbra.
Interesting though that tenebra is shadow or darkeness too though much less specific compared to penumbra.
What an awesome word!

Author's Response: Ha! You caught that little bit, did you? Congrats! A lot of people don't figure it out until much later. Tenabra does have a Latin meaning, one that's fairly fitting I think. But there are hidden meanings all over the place where she's concerned. She is absolutely my favorite original creation in all of the stories I've written. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by Courtney Dark 

23rd July 2013:
I don't think I really like Lucy very much, I'm sorry to say! I don't hate her with a fiery passion or anything, but she seems much too like a young Percy for my liking!

Harry's POV was written perfectly, as usual! He is just SO Harry, it's actually unbelievable. And I really enjoyed reading his conversation with Neville and Dumbledore's portrait, too. I wonder if they will reform the Order of the Phoenix.

Okay, I may be waaay off now but I am extremely suspicious about this Arabela woman. I have a sneaking suspicion (and I may be completely wrong here) that she is somehow linked to Lady T. Last chapter Lady T was talking about (and I can't remember how it was worded exactly) about putting her plan to action with some people within the Ministry (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here, even if I don't word it very well). Then in this chapter, Percy seems to be having his mind meddled with, and there are all these connections between him and Lady T popping up! Gah, I'm so confused!

Maybe you just shouldn't read this review in case I'm embarrassing myself with either completely ridiculous or obvious theories...

Moving on!

Okay, I'm guessing that potion that Cepheus Black was talking about is a fake? So, like so many people, he is just a puppet?

Great chapter!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi, there! Can you believe it? I'm finally caught up.

Lucy did indeed inherit some of her father's tendencies. Not necessarily all the bad ones, but enough to be annoying. Hermione knows how to manage her, though.

The Order of the Phoenix does have a future in this story, for sure. I'm glad you liked that conversation. I always get a little nervous when I have to try to write Dumbledore. He's very intimidating to try to capture!

I definitely wouldn't say that you're wrong to be suspicious of Arabela. There does seem to be a connection there. In good time, you'll see what it is. ;) And poor Percy is having a hard time keeping his head on straight. An awful lot going on.

Of course I read your review, and I enjoyed it a great deal! There's no such thing as embarrassing, you're just thinking out loud.

Cepheus, aka Xerxes the Seer, is basically just a big fraud. An old-money pureblood pretending to be a wizarding wireless shock jock and making up most of the details as he goes along. The only reason I wrote that section is because a lot of readers, for some reason, seemed to think that Xerxes the Seer was the mastermind behind the New Blood Order. He isn't. Definitively.

So glad you're enjoying the story. You're almost halfway home at this point. Thanks!


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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

2nd February 2013:
I just love the many mysteries and stories that you've woven into this one, big, awesome novel. It makes my head spin a bit, but in a good way - I do love a good mystery. :D

The minister is being really... Odd? Showing support to the Purebloods, then having a potion created to produce Muggleborns! Is that even possible? Or is it one of the sources pieces of info that isn't actually true? Because whoa if it can happen.

And Seer! He's a Black! I didn't expect to see a Black in this story. A welcome surprise, I like the Blacks. :)

Another great chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hello, again! I didn't start off trying to spin anybody's head, but I guess I'm not completely unhappy if it worked out that way. ;)

The Minister is doing some very odd things, isn't he? It's almost like he has a hidden agenda here...

OK, so just to level with you, I only put in that section for Xerxes the Seer because reviewers kept speculating that he was the mastermind behind the Blood Order. As I hope you can see, he's just a tool that Tenabra uses to distribute false information that makes the pure bloods and their sympathizers angry. Oh, and he's also a pig. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by academica 

3rd August 2012:
Hi Dan! I'm back again! (And thank you!)

Wow, what an action-packed chapter! I thought Hermione's first day back was really interesting, and it seemed like a good way to show readers just how sour the tone in the wizarding world has gone. I totally love how she built and built until she finally just had to go and threaten Lucy to get the information she needed. I've always felt like Hermione, like many of the women in the series, is several types of girls packed into one, and I loved seeing the variation in her mood here.

The scene with Neville, Harry, and Dumbledore definitely got my heart racing. This story has never really not been good, but when the idea of re-convening the Order was presented, I actually felt excited for the first time in a while. Which familiar characters will come back into the picture? How will everyone react to the changes? I seriously can't wait to see that meeting happen!

Percy's section was interesting. It definitely seemed very foreboding and I felt bad that he was so consumed with guilt and had no idea what he should be feeling guilty about. He's had a rough time in this story and it makes him complex.

I also like the idea of the Muggle potion - definitely seems like it's on the unethical side, but it's refreshing to see the Ministry try to fight back against the supremacists this time, even if it has to be done under the radar. I'm very curious to see how that operation will go and how Tenabra will retailiate once she (surely) finds out about it.

Wonderful, as usual! I hope this review is helpful! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Whew! I'm really glad that you liked Hermione's confrontation with Lucy, because many readers don't seem too thrilled with it. To me, I guess it made sense. To others, less so. You will see many sides of Hermione before the story is over, some rather dark, so I hope you enjoy them.

Many more canon characters begin to play larger roles in the story from here on out. The Order returns. So does the D.A. Much more coming...

Percy is in the middle of something much bigger than he realizes. I can't say too much more than that at this point. But your concerns about him are well-placed.

The muggle-transforming potion is actually nonsense. I feel badly because maybe I didn't make that clear enough. Xerxes is basically a charlatan. I simply put him in here because so many readers had been asking about him, wondering whether he was really some sort of dark mastermind. He isn't.

I'm very glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for all of your interesting, thoughtful reviews!


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Review #7, by Pixileanin 

4th June 2012:
"Doing nothing doesn't seem like an option, does it?"

Very wise, Neville. It was fun to see that he still had his old coin from the D.A.

Uh oh! Arabella seems suspicious now. I worry about Percy. I love how you are slowly unveiling whatever connections he has with the situation.

Harry seems to be making his recovery time longer and longer... but that is incredibly in character of him to push himself farther than he should. Interesting development there with Hermione. Funny that you made Audrey's daughter grate against Hermione's nerves a little. Family. Gotta live with them somehow.

"He wondered what sort of enchantments she used to achieve such lift and separation."

Those Blacks... *covers eyes*. Conniving and hungry. For sandwiches, that is. I happen to like a good sandwich, myself.

"Soon, she told herself, the games would be over..."

Another uh oh! I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of Tenabra in the future.

Still enjoying your story!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I picture Neville as being basically an older, wiser version of the guy who became the reluctant leader of the D.A. under the Carrows. He's still fiercely loyal, brave, yet not completely comfortable being the one in charge.

Harry is not a good patient. He never has been, and you're right, he does tend to make his healing time longer than it needs to be.

I personally enjoyed writing the scene with Lucy and Hermione, although readers haven't been universally fond of it. At any rate, I'm glad you liked it.

The section with Xerxes / Cepheus Black was merely thrown in to assuage the concerns that some readers seemed to have about him being some sort of mastermind behind the Blood Order. He isn't. He's just a fraud and a pig.

Yes. Lady Tenabra isn't going anywhere. She'll be right there until the end.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by Jchrissy 

1st June 2012:
Hermione's first day back is very realistic. I think the details like her having difficulty getting herself into her office chair, and her disappointment/emptiness of her lack of appointments makes this scene that could be so simple, into something much more.

I'm not crazy about the Lucy interaction; i'll explain that in a second.

I do think her attitude towards Hermione was just cold enough to be perfect. We don't know much of her Canon character, but what we do know about Percy and Audry helps paint a picture. I think having Lucy clearly put out and nervous about her relationship with Hermione is perfect. Yes, they are family, but you have clearly put her in a position to have a thirst for politics, and with her family very into that world also, it's no surprise that she acts like a total git about wanting to maintain a good 'image' at the ministry. I remember her father ignoring his family for quite some time in favor of the minster. Obviously his daughter isn't quite as rash as him and instead is trying to put her image first without hurting too many feelings.

What I didn't like about the scene, she is surprised Hermione has returned to work. Not only does she act it, but she states it. I feel like, because of her desire to stay in the Ministry's good graces, she would have made it her business to figure out when Hermione was going to be back. I'm sure all it would take is asking her grandma. I see her more as wanting to be prepared, instead of just waiting for her aunt to show up. I LOVE how you had Hermione handle it. You have kept her amazing back bone complete in tact, yay!

I also like her statement that the muggleborns will need to speak louder, but I think you have made their lack of concern help the situation to be very realistic. Most people aren't connect to the ministry the way this family is. They don't know that the Minster is playing favorites with the pure bloods, heck they probably don't even have half a clue of the gravity of the situation with the NBO. Why should they start reacting to something they believe their minster would have completely under control?

I don't have much to say about Harry, he, along with his interactions with Neville and Dumbledore are perfect. You have complete gotten into Harry's head and continued where JKR left off.†

If I'm on track with Lady T and Percy, that means his sudden fear that he did something bad is true. With the way lady T acts at the end of this chapter, I am pretty sure that Percy revealed to her that he gave Harry the memory. I'm sure she realizes that chances that they will spot it as a fake... so her options are pretty much left to killing them or... nope, just killing them. Go Percy! You stupid git. I know he's under some kind of mind control, but I don't really care. I'm excited to see how his need to go into these muggle pubs ties in. I really am trying to feel bad for him knowing that she is a psychopathic crazy and probably doing horrible things to control him, but I just can't. You did an amazing job at reflecting his sense of confusion. I can feel his trains of thought literally slipping away. I'm also curious as to what Lady T is playing at trying to get him to reconcile with his wife. I would have assumed that having him isolated would make her work easier. Maybe it's reverse psychology? I'm not sure, but I'm very excited to see where it all goes!

Another amazing chapter, like always!!!

Author's Response: Good morning!

Poor Hermione is really struggling to find her routine. And as we all know from canon, routine is huge for her. Her whole life has been turned upside down and, in her absence, her life's work has been largely marginalized. Not a fun thing to return to, which I think explains her whole attitude with Lucy.

An awful lot of readers don't like the scene between Hermione and Lucy, so I think I really need to put some effort into changing that. It seemed so good when I was writing it. ;)

You may be onto something with Tenabra and Percy. I can't really tell you without ruining any number of surprises. ;)

Thanks for all of your great reviews!


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Review #9, by Janner 

1st June 2012:
I had every intention of leaving a review for every chapter but I just get so caught up in reading and I forget.

This story is so damn good, it has everything.

A fascinating plot, great characterisations, some humour plenty of drama.

Only two things are missing; Ginny and typo's.
Searching for typo's is a hobby of mine and even allowing for American spelling I don't have much luck with your stories.

I miss Ginny but I'm glad you avoided the trap of Harry talking to her often.

Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. You're about to move into the part where things begin to happen a great deal faster, so buckle your seat belt!

At times, I almost feel like I should have Harry talking to Ginny a little more, just to emphasize the amount of pain and grief he's still carrying, but there just never seems to be time.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by shadowcat2 

29th April 2012:
What's happening? No no no. This is getting crazy. I need to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Many things are happening. And a great deal is revealed in the next chapter. See you there!

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by Elenia 

23rd April 2012:
Heey! I'm back! Hope you didn't think I'd forgotten your story, RL's just happened to be quite crazy for the past week /: but I'm here now ^^

And gosh, another brilliant chapter you have here! It pulled me right back in from where I had last stopped reading. You really have the skill to captivate your readers!

Your plot(s) moved forwards fluently once again. I've probably said this before, but that's one of the things that makes this story so amazing, the way you balance so many different plots in this story. I'm anxious to see how they all mix together eventually.

I liked the part with Hermione and how you showed us what is happening inside the ministry. I liked the idea that the people are still so easily manipulated when dark and stressful times are upon them. I think it was believable.

Lucy's behaviour was maybe a bit odd to me. I don't know, I've always pictured that Percy would've tried really hard to see that his children wouldn't do the same mistakes that he did, and turn their backs on family. All though I believe Lucy might have felt a bit awkward to be in a situation like that, I think she would've tried to slip Hermione a sign/message that she would talk to her later. But maybe that's just me (:

The part with Harry on the other hand was brilliant! Loved all the characters there, especially the way you've portrayed Neville! You've done such a good job with him (just like you've done with everyone else too, but there's just something special about him). He just seems so canon, but you can clearly see how much he has grown! Well done!

The part with Xerxes felt a bit loose from the other happenings, but I believe it will fit into the story after I read few more chapters so I'm not going to say anything else about that subject (: but otherwise I really enjoyed that scene! The idea about the potion for muggles was really clever and I'm sure it will cause a lot of problems once he publishes it! Oh wait, maybe that's why this part had to be here. Because Hermione is trying to get the muggleborns to stand up and open their mouths and at the same time there will be news like that floating around, but of course you had to back them up a bit first. Anywho, it will make things even harder for them!

I'm dying to know who Lady Tenebra is!! I need to read faster!

But yeah, like I said, great chapter! I'll continue my reading tomorrow again!

Take care!

~E

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome back.

I'm glad that the plot feels like it's moving along nicely for you. I try to focus a lot on pacing myself, because I felt like I was writing too fast near the beginning of the story. The pace is about to pick up considerably after this chapter, so buckle your seat belt...

Hermione's section was about showing the goings on inside the Ministry and about showing some of the challenges that are facing her as she tries to reintegrate with her "normal" life.

The part with Lucy was tricky for me to write, and I'm still not 100% happy with it. I wanted to use her to convey the difficulties facing the family as they try to go about their lives in an increasingly hostile world, but capture elements of Percy's political savvy. Not sure I did the best job.

The conversation between Harry, Neville and Dumbledore was easily my favorite part of the chapter. It's central to the plot and I love all three characters. I guess it shows.

The main reason I wrote the section with Xerxes is that so many reviewers were asking questions about him. I wanted to show that he is, in fact, nothing but a charlatan who has become an unwitting pawn in Lady's Tenabra's game. There really is almost no other point to his section.

You'll find out a lot more about Lady Tenabra soon. She's a very complex character and there is more to her back story than meets the eye. Enough said about that for now.

I look forward to your reviews almost as much as I'm looking forward to the next chapter of Trying Not To Love You, which is to say a whole lot! Thanks so much!


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Review #12, by ginerva_molly_weasley 

16th February 2012:
Wow. Another well written chapter but also one that I found really interesting to read.

There are four separate stories in this chapter which can sometimes seem very overpowering and fast pace however because the stories sort of have their own end and beginning then this works really well although the part about Cepheus Black seemed to be quite strange as his character hasn't been introduced before.

I like the way you've introduced the idea of people infiltrating Hogwarts as it's very different to the staff being under suspect, which was what I was anticipating. It was a good turn to the story and I'm interested to see what you do with it. Also the idea of telling Dumbledore and Neville about restarting the order again is good as they are two people who was very passionate towards their cause.

I'm intrigued to see how you put the idea of the false memory to Percy as the memory being false wasn't mentioned in this chapter which increases the tension especially because you focused in on Percy for one of your sections. I like how you are making some of his thoughts seem quite erratic and confused.

The idea about Hermione being avoided in the ministry is interesting because she is normally the one people go to because she is very logical and generally knows what to do in a situation like this so it's nice to see that for one she is one of the outcasts.

A good well rounded chapter :)

Author's Response: Hello, again!

My chapters have been getting a lot longer lately. I've been giving some thought to splitting things up a bit more, now that I'm more or less writing in real time.

Neville has a problem inside the castle, that's for certain. That part was very interesting to write, because I wanted to make it sound like a complicated, iffy proposition; not too easy to pull off.

Everything involving the memory comes together in the next chapter, so I can't wait to see what you think of it!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by Ashling586 

26th January 2012:
I am with Hermione on the fact that the muggleborns and halfbloods must out number the purebloods. I understand that the pure blood families have a lot connections but I would think that over the years since the last war that some of the muggleborn and half bloods had to have gained some influence and power as well. I still think that the ministers secretary is the evil lady, it just makes too much sense to me.
I liked that you added the magic potion vitamin idea, because that kinda expands on the idea from the last war. That the muggle borns had stolen power.
I love this story, and with each chapter it gets more exciting, though I am worried about what the evil lady has in store for Harry.
Great job.

Author's Response: Hello, again.

So it's not that the muggle-born and half-blooded witches and wizards have no influence in the time of the story, it's simply that the pure bloods are much better versed in how to use the influence they have left. At least that's what Lady Tenabra has everybody believing. She's truly the power behind all of this.

Again, the pre-natal vitamin story is merely a ruse. Something else crafted by Tenabra to stir fear and outrage among the pure bloods. But you're right, it does fit nicely with the type of propaganda used by Voldemort during the First and Second Wizarding Wars.

I'm glad that you're still liking the story. And unfortunately, Tenabra has some truly awful tricks up her sleeve.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by Remus 

17th January 2012:
Hey! Back for more! :)

Hate to review after Breeezie...she puts my reviews to shame! XD

Anyway!

Hermione's section was intriguing. I actually believe that It added the mood to the whole chapter. The part that read: "She had expected a warm if not exuberant welcome from her colleagues, and the smattering of manufactured smiles and mechanically delivered well-wishes that she received caught her by surprise. It felt like being at a political fundraiser, except nobody was asking for her support." was actually my favorite in the whole chapter as you really bring yourself as an excellent writer able to weave words and give the reader a 'feeling' of what Hermione was going through right at that moment.

Hermione was, as always, well in character and was glad to see her chide another Weasley as she normally would. I would've liked, however, MORE in this conversation. Specially about being scary to be a Weasley...that really had me questioning what she meant. WHY is it scary to be one when they are part of what seems to be a 'powerful' family? Or Al who is a Potter/Weasley and son of a Hero to many. Do you know what I mean? It just didn't make sense to me...if you had elaborated on that part right there it would've made a lot of sense and understand Lucy's worry.

Harry ACTUALLY listening to the nurses? That's a shocker! Haha! Glad you made him realize that he's not indestructible and start listening to the people that are trying to make him better. It goes with the whole maturing thing that I mentioned in my previous review. Question though: why did Hermys mutter under his breath? it seemed a bit not only out of character but also random. O.o Lastly on this section...just so you know I squeeled like a fan girl a bit when I saw Harry taking out the galleon.

Out of all the characters...Percy is the most intriguing of all. His section really made me wonder of the friends he keeps. Someone only close to him, I think, could be able to mess with his mind at the extent it was done. Something is just NOT right with the poor man.

Cepheus Black...as soon as I read his name I wondered if he's part of the Black family. I'm guessing he is as you mentioned that he was pureblooded. Are you going against cannon when it comes to that? As far as it was told, the Black family name died with Sirius...and with only Andromeda, Narcissa and Teddy being the last descendants of the Black family.

Anyway, his character was fun to read. He felt very conspiracy/gossip doing-whatever-needs-to-get-done in order for the Truth to come out. He's also such a perv and that made me laugh.

Lady Tenabra's section, as always, very intriguing. However, as I was reading her section I started to wonder something: Have you ever given us a description of what she looks like? I may just not remember what she looks like but yeah...that's what I was asking myself when I was reading the last paragraph. Also...does she work at the Ministry?

Anyway! Suppose that is it for now! As always this was a great read! I'm almost caught up!

--Perelandra

Author's Response: Hello, again! I was about to go to bed, but I can't resist banging out a response.

I'm really glad you liked Hermione's first day back. It was obviously a cold, rude awakening for her. The world has changed while she's been out, and clearly not for the better. You and Beeezie both hit on Lucy's anxieties, so I think I really need to expand that section. The idea is that the Minister is going to great lengths to appease the pure bloods and keep them from going into open revolt, and the Potter/Weasley clan are basically the most hated enemies of the pure blood fanatics. So it's just an uncomfortable time to be associated with the family. Harry is still a hero to many, but that appeal is far from universal in this day and age.

And yes, Harry has grown a bit older and wiser. Hermys helps to keep him on the path to recovery with his gentle nagging, as well. In this case, Hermys was muttering under his breath because he had hoped that Harry would stay asleep and Neville would need to come back another time. Like his father, Kreacher, Hermys is given to expressing his frustrations by talking quietly to himself.

You are correct. Something is not right with Percy. Soon, all will be revealed...

I decided to make Cepheus a somewhat distant Black cousin. He's theoretically descended from Phineas Nigellus, so you're right, it's not completely canon. Stupid family tree! But he is a complete scumbag, and rather entertaining in a sexist, chauvinistic sort of way.

So far, we've only seen minimal descriptions of Lady Tenabra's appearance. She has blond hair and a pale complexion. She favors dark cloaks with hoods. Does she work at the Ministry? Well that remains to be seen. ;-)

Thanks so much for sticking with the story. I love your reviews. They give me a really good idea of how I'm doing and where I need improvement.


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Review #15, by Beeezie 

8th January 2012:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!


Hermione's section
A quick grammatical point:
- In the first paragraph, your last sentence isn't quite right grammatically. The semi-colon should be a colon, and "with" should not be capitalized.

That aside, your writing was as strong as ever. The dialogue was compelling, and I felt like what description you had punctuated it well without weighing it down and making the scene drag.

However, I did feel like you scratched the surface with this conversation rather than digging as deep as you could have.

Does that not make sense? Let me back up.

Throughout most of this story, I have felt like you have done a great job at showing how complex wizarding society is, especially in regards to blood status. I sometimes disagreed with you about individual issues, but the broad brushstrokes showed that there weren't really simple answers to complicated questions (or at least that was how I felt).

The last couple chapters, however, I've felt like you're not digging as deep as you could. Here, for example, when Hermione questions why people care about the pureblood so much given what a small percentage of the population they are at this point, Lucy says that they care because the pureblood are loud and well-connected. Okay, great, that question has probably occurred to most readers, but acknowledging that it exists isn't enough. As a big fan of this story, I wanted you to go deeper.

What do I mean by that? Well, for one thing, why do the purebloods speak up when the muggleborns and halfblooded don't? I can't think of many instances in any culture that I'm familiar with where groups who have been discriminated against in the past are complacent about their rights and just trust the establishment. Victims don't forget. Even when everyone else moves on, they don't. That's even typically true for non-hereditary characteristics.

That's not to say that everyone within a certain group feels a certain way about something, but within the group as a whole, even when people aren't agitating, there's generally not a climate of trust. It's almost never about, "Oh, well, we could speak loudly about this problem, but we're not."

Do I buy that muggleborns might be less loud than purebloods? Sure. I can think of plenty of reasons, with money and organization topping the list. However, by breaking it down into "halfblooded and muggleborns trust the Minister," I think that you're heavily simplifying a very important and complex part of human nature and the human condition, and I'd have really liked to see you at least allude to something deeper (or even just have Lucy say, "I don't know"), rather than taking the simple way out.

I also - and god, I hope it doesn't seem like I'm just being a hypercritical obnoxious person - think that Lucy herself in this chapter seemed a little one dimensional. I mean, even if she's a pureblood, which is possible, she has a lot of family who aren't, and I'd have thought that she would be more sympathetic and understanding.

Okay. I'm done with that line of thought, but please sit on it for a little while, at least, because coming up with an answer, because I think it does deserve some reflection, you know?


Harry's section
This section, on the other hand, was very well done and I have absolutely no criticism about it. (Yes, I know, you're probably thinking, "Oh, thank god, I was getting ready to jettison this annoying reviewer out in to space. Why do I bother to request for her?!")

I thought that you did a great job of depicting Harry's difficulties with being a patient, even now that he's out of St. Mungo's, and I like the fact that you really are portraying a recovery time for his injuries. He's old, and he was seriously injured, and he needs rest - even if he doesn't want to need it.

His conversation with Neville and Dumbledore was also terrific. I feel like you followed up very well on some remaining loose threads from previous chapters and showed more of who Neville is as a headmaster and a person these days. As I'm thinking about it (and I may have said this in the past; I'm not sure), I think that Neville is one of the characters that you've aged up the best. He's still so clearly Neville, but he's also very clearly grown up.

Author's Response: OK, first of all, as to whether you're being hyper-critical and obnoxious, definitely not. The reviews I've gotten break down something like this:

50% of reviewers will never criticize anything, no matter how fair and helpful the criticism is. There's nothing wrong with this. Some people are just fans and they truly enjoy what they're reading. These reviews feel good to go back and read when you're stuck in the middle of a tough chapter.

40% of reviewers will point out typos, spelling and grammar, and rarely go any farther. Occasionally, they'll point out some canon inconsistency or ask about something that confused them. Again, there's nothing wrong with this. It's actually helpful.

5% of reviewers will actually offer insights and opinions on the substance of the story, and do it in a way that's constructive. This is the sweet spot for authors. These reviewers take their time and actually put thought into the story. This is where **YOU** are.

5% of reviewers are trolls, who simply take pleasure in tearing down other people. Nothing more to say about them, really.

So on to the substance of your review. I really appreciate what you're saying about the section with Lucy and Hermione. This chapter got really long, really quickly. There were several ideas I could have spent a lot more words exploring, but in the end, I decided to err on the side of keeping things moving rather than digging deeper. I feel like we're moving into the part of the story where pace needs to take precedence over exposition, but it doesn't always leave me happy. I'm also a big fan of exploring ideas. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. This may affect some decisions I make down the road.

Poor Harry. He hardly knows what to do with himself. But even when he's trying to take it easy, problems seem to come looking for him, no?

As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! You are a tremendous help, and your perspective really means a lot to me, even on the rare occasion when I'm too grumpy or preoccupied with work to appreciate it properly! ;-)


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Review #16, by Roots in Water 

18th December 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Things are getting worse and worse in the Wizarding world! I think that you're doing a great job of worsening the state of society realistically- many small things are building to eventually cause the collapse or a disaster in the Wizarding world.

You're weaving many threads at the same time and doing a great job of developping them steadily. The fact that the Minister trying to ease the worries and cries of the Purebloods is very interesting, especially since you've already mentioned that the proportion of purebloods compared to the rest of the population grows smaller with each generation. I really liked Hermione's line about how maybe the others just need to be louder. It definitely sounded like something that she would say.

And then the situation at Hogwarts! I find it very shocking that there would actually be monitoring spells on Hogwarts. It's a school and the "enemies" aren't even attending there like Harry was during the second Wizarding world. Who put the spells there and just what are they trying to accomplish? Could the Minister and Ministry actually be that worried about Neville and the muggle-born population?

I was very surprised about Cepheus Black- his mind is quite different from the other characters I've seen in this story. You displayed his personality quite clearly through his POV and I wonder what you're going to do in the future with the help of his radio show. Injecting magic into an unborn muggle? That is going to throw the Wizarding society into chaos...

And what is happening to poor Percy? His story line is very interesting and his role in the story is quite different from the other characters'. His memories have already been tampered with... Could someone still be messing with his mind? Could Arabela be a part of the New Blood Order? Questions, questions... As I've said before, you're doing a great job of keeping readers on the edge of their seats.

Just a side note: Are we going to see Draco or Astoria anytime soon? I just remembered about them and I was wondering if they would play another role in the story. It's not a big deal if they aren't- I was just wondering if their part in your story was finished.

Just a small thing: in the sentence "That's a new one on you" I think that "that's a new one for you" would sound better.

All in all I really enjoyed reading this chapter and I think you're doing a great job with this story! Thanks for requesting once again and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Yes, things are starting to appear very grim. Good thing our heroes are still around to save the world.

I was hoping that Xerxes the Seer wouldn't be what people were expecting. He's basically just a shill; a pawn who's being used like so many other people. He also happens to be a reprehensible, amoral pig. I'm still trying to decide whether he'll suffer some sort of unpleasant ending.

I really need to bring Draco and Astoria back into the fold, but I'm trying to do it in a way that's not gratuitous. Trust me, they will be back in a big way later in the story, but I don't want people to forget about them...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by CloakAuror9 

14th December 2011:
Hey there!

The title now makes sense to me! (Or at least I think so!) I mean I already knew that there was going to be something about 'blood' but it just makes more sense for me now.

I love the way you kept Hermione's attitude! At least she hasn't gone soft!

Lady Tenabra's 'plan' is intriguing me. I'm really interested on how its going to work and when. There's also the fact that there will be a war or something to happen soon and I'm pretty sure like it the books the Potter-Weasley clan will be the leaders and the rest will follow. Although I'm not entirely sure on how its going to turn out...

Overall, I think you've done a good job!

Happy Holidays,
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: Hello, again, and Happy Holidays to you, too!

Hermione is still feisty in her middle age, that certainly hasn't changed. She's just more circumspect about things now.

Tenabra's plan is finally starting to come together. I decided early on to be very gradual in bringing her out of the shadows. Hopefully that decision is working well.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

13th December 2011:
"No, I do not understand. Now you listen to me. I helped you get this job. You can either take the time to explain why everyone in the whole bloody department is suddenly acting like I have Dragon Pox, or I will stop by every day at ten o'clock sharp to discuss the day's events with you at length. Do I make myself clear?"

BURN! I thought that was hysterical. Actually I felt like this was a light chapter compared to the others. I see you're building us up for a fall because terrible things are going to happen.

I wonder. Is Lady T and the other using Percy? I mean, are they actually hitting him with spells or something because it seems to me that as he starts to make progress, he's pushed back into this whole pit of darkness. I'm not entirely sure if it's because of Lady T or if it's because of what he did himself.

If you kill Ron I will cry.

I'm bad at making predictions but I think that the Wizarding World will sort of 'implode.' Meaning once that silly (I'd use a stronger word but 12+, got to remember those rules) Seer starts talking about those Muggle prenatal vitamins laced with magic which is brilliant by the way I think that's when a war is going to break out. Should I consider it another war? Or should that just be considered the stepping stone to war and then someone dies or there's an attack and that leads to war. Or not? I can't decide. I wonder how the Order is going to work out though because what students would join? I see the entire family of Potter-Weasley-Malfoy (Scorpius mainly) joining but outside of that, wouldn't they need others? I know the basics will join (Neville and such) but what about the students now? Because I'm not entirely sure if I trust the Aurors and the Ministry of Magic...unless you're giving me a false feeling!

All in all another wonderful chapter! We haven't even scratched the surface of what's going to happen but I'm so excited when we do!

Author's Response: You know, I absolutely love the way you try to prognosticate. It's very, very useful as an author because it gives me a good idea whether I'm foreshadowing too much or not enough. At the moment, I think I'm doing OK.

Hermione's dressing-down of Lucy went through several iterations before I thought it sounded right. Much credit goes to my beta reader, who sent me back to the drawing board on the whole section. I'm pretty happy with how it all wound up.

Is there a connection between Lady Tenabra and Percy? Well... I can't comment on that just now. Keep on reading.

We have begun to scratch the surface, but there's much more to go. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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