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20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GingeredTea 

25th January 2015:
I really enjoyed Ron's comical attempt to retrieve those files, especially the bit where he refers to a printer as a "beige box". LOL All of his minimal efforts to understand how even his magic works to fake the muggle product mirrored the Ron we knew in the books so perfectly.

Oddly, I have had the same sense of wondering when I had to read some graphic medical text books and still managed to eat while doing it. So I know where Hermione is coming from!

Hermione will NEVER live down SPEW will she? I laughed a bit at the reminder!

Oh this is interesting! A missing book. Clever usage of the ink, there, Hermione. I'm assuming this blond woman is the one who took this book. Perhaps she has some Ministry connections? A reason to be in the office like Harry? Or clever enough to fake like Harry did stealing those files...but that required a lot of inside knowledge... You have me wondering.

Scorpius..."Once the matter was amicably resolved, he felt quite sure that there was some high quality make-up sex in his future." *shakes my head*

He does a nice job after that thought though...so I guess I shouldn't be too peeved at him.


Gamp seems like a horrible soul. Were they sent after the guard or just wandered upon him? It seemed like Goyle might have a smidgen of good in him...

Oh, oh, oh. this is getting really interesting!!!

"I think he said that she had blond hair and she was wearing some sort of long, black coat with a hood on it."

I'm glad the boys are going to put Hermione on this.


Sorry this is so late Dan, and so short. I'll get back into the groove, I promise. :) It was fun to read it and review, thank you for being so understanding.

Author's Response: At the same time I'm digging out of yesterday's snowstorm, I also have to dig my way out of a pile of new reviews. You can probably guess which task I enjoy more. ;)

I imagine Ron being as hapless as his father where muggle technology is concerned, but without the intense enthusiasm for the subject. And you're right, Ron is pretty lazy when it comes to things he doesn't feel excited about.

Hermione will never, ever live down S.P.E.W. I think most of her friends realize that when you have somebody as brilliant and driven as she is, there are only a few levers you can pull to keep them humble.

So now we have 2 mysterious books in this plot. The blond woman could definitely have something to do with it...

Scorpius is a pretty good husband and father. He just has the struggles and motivations that any normal male does. Food, sex and domestic tranquility. The order can vary from time to time.

Gamp is crazy in a very dangerous way. He's now been a secondary villain in two of my stories. I've grown quite fond of him, to be honest. I hope you enjoy the way I make use of him.

Ha. I don't think Ron and Harry do too much mental heavy lifting without consulting Hermione. There's no sense shoveling snow when you have a snow blower. Wow, that was a terrible analogy. Is it spring yet?

No worries. Like I said, I'm just glad that you're doing better and you're getting back in the groove of things. Thanks for the swap!


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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 

12th January 2015:
Hi there Dan!

Here for our review swap and I need to apologize for taking so long!

Aww, poor Ron - he has to resort to Confundo to get the necessary information. I like the concept that magic interferes with technology - I think that is a great idea and it leads to some interesting plot developments. Missing documents again?! Someone is doing a thorough cover up job here - and whatever they're trying to hide must be REALLY important if they are going to toy with both magical and muggle records.

Dark magic is just a manifestation of the darkness of the human soul,

Another important point here. I think J.K. would agree - Some Wizards, like some Muggles abuse any and all power they have. I also have to congratulate you on your creativity for the naming of all of those Dark Magic books. That must've taken a while, but I think putting all those little details into a story pays off in the depth of the characters and plot. Nice job!

Hermione is so awesome. Of course she would come up with a way to get the name of that book. More stuff missing. I'm beginning to suspect the Minister is either behind it - or is being played by whomever is pulling the strings.

Aahh! Some Rose/Scorpius action. You know I love that! I'm really in love with your Scorpius. He know how to play his wife, but is just a tiny bit afraid of her at the same time. And the way you write Rose both fearless and vulnerable just melts me. Awesome job with those two - even a little bit of... uh... passion at the end - nice touch.

Gamp is a sicko and Goyle is weak. If I were Lady Tenabra, I would find both of those characteristics severely limiting to my cause - but I'm not too worried about her. She's obviously gotten pretty far even with her limited resources. I still don't know what her ultimate motive is - but she is really, really evil.

And we end the chapter in another Muggle police station. A little bit more is revealed and I believed you hinted in an earlier chapter that Octavia was in an unfortunate place when Ginny was murdered, but I never thought that she had witnessed it! Merlin, that's awful. She must've been only about two or so. Poor kid. It sounds like the mystery witness fits the description of Lady Tenabra herself. It doesn't surprise me if she is Ginny's murderer. But why? And what does this have to do with the new blood order - or Edwin Stoops? Was he simply at the wrong place at the wrong time or is there something more?

While this chapter answered some questions, it brought up a whole new set! I think that means it was awesome.

Thanks for doing a swap!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! No worries, I see that you've been battling illness.

Ron struck me as the type who would have found technology completely baffling. I also doubt that he had his father's intense love for muggle toys.

Once again, Lady Tenabra has left a dead end for our heroes. It's really hard to get a leg up on her.

I kind of enjoyed the philosophical discussion between Hermione, Susan and Terry on the nature of dark vs. light magic. Hermione's trick for overcoming the charm protecting the name of the missing book came to me out of the blue while I was writing this chapter. Call it a flash of inspiration or just a happy accident, but either way I was pleased with how it turned out.

The Rose/Scorpius section was rewarding to write in a lot of ways. One of the things I love most about your story is just how much your characterization of the two of them reminds me of the way I thought of them as I was writing this. My Rose and Scorpius could easily be older versions of yours.

Sick is a good word for Gamp. Sick or ill. Mentally ill. Goyle has changed little since his Hogwarts days: a dimwitted follower. And Lady Tenabra's motivations will become more clear as the story goes on, but you're right about her being evil.

One small clarification: the last scene wasn't in a police station. It was in the constable's home. Ron and Harry visit him there to find out what he remembers. Octavia wasn't old enough to remember what she saw, which is a small mercy. It certainly seems like Lady Tenabra was there, doesn't it? You'll find out for certain later.

One good thing is that you're far enough along in the story now that the answers soon start to outnumber the new questions, just because I was running short on time. Hope you enjoy them!

Thanks for the swap and the awesome reviews!


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Review #3, by Ginerva Weasley 

10th September 2014:
This a fascinating, well-written story. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by Courtney Dark 

22nd July 2013:
So many more mysteries! I have so many questions although when I try to think what these questions are I don't actually know what they are, if that makes any sense at all. All I know is that I am completely stumped about what is going on and am looking forwrd to finding out more.

Oh, Ron! He's the same as ever, hardly knowing anything about muggles and muggle technology, such as computers. I really enjoyed the section from his point of view, actually, largely thanks to the fact that he was just so confused, when it came down to using the computers. But i hope he managed to get some helpful info!

I'm not sure I've mentioned it before but I love the fact that you incorporate so many minor canon characters into this story, such as Terry, Ernie and Susan. For this reason, I also really enjoyed the section when they were reading through those horrible books about dark magic. And I found some of Terry's comments quite amusing:)

Scorpius and Rose! I love them so much! They are both (especially Rose) such strong characters, and I really hope we get to see more of them.

The last section was especially mystifying, and I have so many questions which I'm hoping to find out the answers to in upcoming chapters. What was Octavia doing with Ginny's wand? Hmm... I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi! Sounds like you're really getting into the swing of things. This is definitely the part of the story where questions outnumber answers. ;)

I always enjoy writing Ron. I try to make him hopeless in certain ways while not making him a complete inferior to Harry and Hermione. Muggle technology is definitely his weakness. Well, one of them, anyway.

The minor canon characters can be almost more fun that the major ones. So much more room to play around and define them.

I'm so glad you like Rose and Scorpius. You'll definitely be seeing more of them along the way. They were a joy to write.

The questions you're probably pondering after the last section are all **very** central to what really happened and what's going to happen. Don't lose track of them. That's about all I can say without giving anything away. ;)

Thanks for sticking with me! Love all of your reviews!


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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

17th May 2013:
Hi Dan! I'm back once more to enjoy some COB :). By the way - you last review response was soo mean! I was so proud of myself for seeing the anagram and then you only tell me I might be right haha! Oh well - I will just have to wait and find out :P

I really enjoy reading your grown up Ron so the first bit was great fun. I particularly liked the line 'He silently wondered whether any of the muggles who seemed so irritated by his ambling pace would fare any better in the labyrinthine corridors of the Ministry of Magic.' - I'm almost positively sure we wouldn't! Vanessa was a bit of a snooty cow so I was quite glad he confunded her! Served her right!

I also totally agree with Ron - I'm thinking this definitely wasn't a coincidence! More files missing - whoever Lady Tenabra is, she's certainly been thorough!

Oh poor Hermione! All that time fighting for Elf rights and then has to sit letting Hermys fawn over her. Terry and Ernie obviously did't help matters but it would have been hilarious to hear the SPEW jokes!

I loved Hermione's idea to get the name of the book!! It was very Hermione! Again you've impressed me with how well you have every single detail of these characters so perfectly. So is this the book Lady Tenabra has then? And if it is then Lady T has been reading up on an imperius type curse? Or maybe just the imperius curse? But that could explain Percy's erratic behaviour. Ooh this has got me quite excited - unless I'm wrong!

I was so happy to see more Scorp - he was so much fun the last time we saw him and he didn't disappoint here. I had to smile at him pretending to listen to Rose and making sure he tuned back in at the right moment. The line 'It didn't even include profanity.' really made me laugh. I'd love read a whole story on your Rose and Scorp! It was really sweet how he did reassure her in the end that Octavia would be okay with them around. It was also nice to see how much he really thinks of Harry and co, putting his faith in them over his dad.

Ok Gamp clearly has a screw loose. He was so sinister with the cruciatus curse! Goyle's obviously damaged as well but not in the way Gamp is - he seems to hate it while Gamp was revelling in it!

Ooh visiting Jarvis gave us some more clues in the story. So the third witness has to be Lady T, although, we knew she organised that death anyway. I think Stoops has to be imperiused - especially with the book they found earlier. It all seems to fit. Although I don't know whether to trust that or whether you're leading us on a bit! It's so exciting though! Another unanswered question though - what was Octavia doing with Ginny's wand?

Gah -Dan this is so good! I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying reading it and trying to make sense of everything thats happening!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Wow! You are making some serious progress.

I don't try to be mean, but I don't want to spoil any surprises for you, either. You're definitely paying close attention!

Poor Ron just doesn't have much luck with the majority of the muggle world, and especially computers. But there are one or two exceptions, as you'll see a few chapters from now. I'm with you, by the way. I don't believe in coincidences. ;)

Who knows, maybe having Hermys fawn over her will be good motivation for Hermione to get over her "thing" with the wheelchair. I'm sure it was torment for her. I remember actually trying to think of some good S.P.E.W. jokes and coming up dry. So I did want I remember my college professors doing and declared, "S.P.E.W. jokes are left as an exercise for the reader."

It is hard to explain how proud of myself I felt when I came up with the disappearing ink idea for discovering the title of the missing book. Originally, I had Hermione figuring out a way to break the spell, which felt very "deus ex machina" and lame. It came to me as I was editing the chapter, which I suppose is when I get a lot of my better ideas. I don't think I'm giving too much away by telling you that this is the book that Lady T has been carrying around, but you'll have to wait to see about Percy. ;)

The same way I regret not being able to find more chances to write Luna into the story, I hate the fact that Scorpius and Rose appear so rarely together. Could I write my own Scorpius/Rose story? I guess I could try, but it would have to be well after their Hogwarts years, when they're already married. The story of the two of them falling in love has been written **so many** times already.

Gamp is dangerously insane, but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. He is the epitome of the old truism, "people don't come out of prison better than they went in." Poor Goyle is way out of his depth. He's the quintessential follower.

I think you got everything important out of Ron and Harry's conversation with the good constable. Why, indeed, did Octavia have Ginny's wand? It turns out the fact that she did is rather important...

Oh, I'm enjoying this so much! You're now getting into what I think of as the "good" part of the story, plot-wise. So much happens over the next few chapters. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing and I hope you enjoy what's to come!


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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

21st January 2013:
Hey again.

Smart idea from Hermione, using ink to make the pattern. It just seems so simple that people can overlook them, yet they're almost always the most effective. So this book, it's the one Tenabra has? It really makes me wonder who she is, if she can get into the Minister's office and take the book, and also if the Minister is involved at all, willing or otherwise, because he has books that should apparently be with law enforcement. Ah, mysteries. Love 'em. :D

Gamp is just... I'm gonna go with insane. If even another ex Death Eater, working with him seems to be afraid or at least nervous around him.

I guess the witness is Tenabra, could be wrong but Ginny's murder seems connected right to them since they admitted to it. But I read your response and I was like could it be just a claim and I got very confused and now I'm just going to read and review, occasionally go dun dun dun and wait and see. :P

I look forward to finding out exactly how Ginny's murder ties in.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Hermione is so clever that it's hard to think of things that seem **clever enough** for her. Nevertheless, I was pleased with this one. The truth about this book will be gradually revealed. You definitely haven't seen the last of it.

Gamp is indeed mentally ill. As the old saying goes, nobody comes out of prison better than they went in. And Gamp wasn't well going in.

It certainly **appears** that she was present when Ginny was murdered, doesn't it? ;) You'll have to wait a while to find out for certain.

All will be revealed in the end. Until then, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by Illuminate 

25th November 2012:
Hi! Here again!

Much development here! So they've discovered that Stoops was under the control of Tenabra (who obviously they don't know yet). I hope they find her soon, and I hope we discover exactly what was happening.

So Octavia was with her when it happened? How awful for her, though I expect they've obliviated her. I wonder why she had the wand, and I wonder why she was spared. Does Tenabra have plans in store for Octavia? I hope not!

And Gamp and Goyle have captured the guard that set them free! I don't think torture will get them anywhere, and I feel kind of sorry for him xD Though he did let out murderous fugitives.

Hermione's just one step closer to figuring out what happened to her. Nice to see Dumbledore helping out :) Whatever will they do without him?

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

A number of fairly important things are revealed in this chapter, and I'm pleased to see that you picked up on all of them. Tenabra was indeed controlling Edwin Stoops when he killed Ginny. It will be a while before we find out exactly what happened, but Octavia was there and her involvement in all of this turns out to be very important. She was only 2 years old at the time, so there wasn't really any need to Obliviate her. She was simply too young to remember.

The scene with Gamp, Goyle and the prison guard was mostly just meant to make some things about Gamp and Goyle clear. Goyle doesn't really have the stomach for a lot of what he's being asked to do and Gamp is a sociopathic lunatic.

Dumbledore is *always* helpful to have around. And Hermione is gradually putting the pieces together.

I'm quite pleased that you enjoyed it. This was the first fairly dark chapter of many yet to come. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by Akussa 

19th August 2012:
Well, I came to review this chapter much later than anticipated... Still, I absolutly love the fact that no matter how long it has been since I last read this story, it always comes back to me instantly and I know precisely what is going on. Also, every time I come back, I'm simply mind blown at how nicely this story is written.

I really like the opening scene of this chapter; the first note are much lighter than usual and not only is is a welcome change in pace, it also fits so very nicely with Ron. The way you described him being helpless with a computer kind of reminded me of my parents a bit :)

The investigation is really picking up and I just love how the more they find out, the deeper the mystery gets. This is classic suspense novel material but you are doing it cleverly and, well, it wouldn't really be a suspense if we could find all the answers easily, right?

I was very touched by the last scene, when Jarvis gave his account of the murder. I could definitly feel for the two men hearing the awful details of Ginny's last moments and I think you portrayed it nicely. The emotion of the moment was all there for both Ron and Harry but also for Jarvis, who seemed to have been really marked by this murder.

All in all, a strong chapter that, altough it gave some answers and some more leads to follow, deepened the mystery even more. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Hey, stranger!

Seems that real life gets in the way of my reading more and more these days. So I do love a story where I can drop right back in and not feel lost, and I'm glad you feel that way about CoB.

Yes, poor Ron is mostly helpless around muggle technology. And I'm definitely trying to work some light-hearted material in here and there. Otherwise, the story just becomes too oppressive for me.

I never really thought of CoB as a suspense novel, but I see how you could think of it that way. To me, it's more action/drama, but my perspective is different as the author. Not much suspense when you already know what's going to happen. ;)

The last scene was pretty emotional, and I'm glad that came through. Ginny's death touched many people, even some who had no idea who or what she was.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Hope to see you back soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by academica 

18th July 2012:
Hey Dan! Here with another requested review :)

I think even with the darker tone of this chapter, you did a great job of bringing in some humor with that opening scene. Just like JKR, you've used Ron to add a little dash of something light to a dark scene. As soon as the clerk mentioned computers, I almost groaned out loud along with him, because I knew that he would have a hard time with them. In fact, I think that scene was my favorite here.

I like Hermione's trick, and the story of Herodonthus was interesting. If I had one critique, though, it would be that the back story contained in this chapter seemed a little... deliberate. I think it works okay with Dumbledore in this scene, just because of the kind of person that he is, but it didn't seem to flow as naturally when the police officer was re-telling the story of Ginny's murder. For example, he started to say that Harry and Ron were really about to tax his brain, but then he seemed to be able to recall the story quite easily, so that just didn't make perfect sense to me.

The little scene with Scorpius and Rose was kind of sweet. I like seeing how the brewing conflict is impacting the children of the war-torn generations.

Daphne's husband finally makes an appearance! I think he's interesting - certainly rather brutal - and I like that I can draw a contrast between the way he interacts with Muggles (using magic to satisfy his whims without a great deal of thought) and the way the "good" characters in the story do (trying to respect the Statute of Secrecy, at least mostly). I also like that it seems like brutality runs on a continuum among the Death Eaters, like in canon.

The last scene has definitely got me intrigued. I wonder what Harry and Ron will make of Tenabra, and I have no idea what Octavia was doing with Ginny's wand just before she (Ginny) died. I guess I'll have to wait and see what will happen next :)

Great work! I hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, there! I hope you and your fellow Snakes had a fun, productive day. Not *too* productive, though. ;)

I love having Ron around for exactly that purpose, although I have tried really hard to give him a serious side, as well. The thing I always fear with Ron is unintentionally pigeon-holing him into the Second Banana Zone. But, yes, he is predictably horrible with computers, much to the clerk's annoyance. And he's not above using magic to get things done when he has no other alternative.

I'll certainly grant you that the back story could have been woven in a bit better. I found it really hard in both cases because I was trying to spring the information on the reader somewhat by surprise. Especially the part with Constable Oakworth. Not exactly a cliff-hanger, but a way to end the chapter on an "oh, my!" sort of note. I guess he does recall things pretty easily, given the time that's passed.

Scorpius and Rose are just fun to write. I adore both characters and the dynamic between the two of them makes for a lot of entertaining dialog. The emerging conflict is definitely having an impact on their generation although it's still very low-key. They've lived their entire lives in the peace and prosperity that their parents fought to provide, so they really have no frame of reference for what's starting to happen around them.

This chapter is the coming-out party for Jeremy Gamp. He's one mean piece of work, too. Sadistic, brutal and mentally ill. As the saying goes, nobody comes out of prison better than they went in.

All of your questions about the last scene get answered very near the end of the story. And they're all very important, as it turns out...

Thanks so much for all of your awesome reviews! Very helpful!


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Review #10, by Gin_gin06 

24th June 2012:
1.) Those hexes and spells are positivly evil. Livers coming out of belly buttons? Ewww! The book seems interesting and I love that Dumbledore helped them out. I miss him.

2.) Random question, but will Denis be in later chapters?

3.) Aww, i love that part with Rose and Scorpius. They're so cute. XD

4.) I'll bet that Lady Tenabra was the eye witness that Snoops ran into by accident. And I also bet that those files aren't just gone because of digital transfering, it seems tooo fishy.

5.) Why did Octavia have Ginny's wand? did Ginny drop it, and Octavia happen to pick it up? Or is there a more sinister reason behind this?

Amazing! FABULOUS!!! How do you come up with this stuff? Seriously!
Gin

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I miss Dumbledore, too, so I give him the occasional cameo in portrait form. To me, he's such an essential part of the world. His presence adds something.

You will see Dennis Northway again. In fact, he's rather pivotal in a key moment of the story.

I'm glad you like my Rose and Scorpius. They're a lot of fun to write.

You'll have to wait and see, but it's a very reasonable suspicion.

Again, the reason why Octavia had Ginny's wand isn't completely clear. But it will be...

How do I come up with it? I don't know, I just sort of daydream and let my mind wander and things come to me. I wish I could summon it at will, but it doesn't work that way.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by Jchrissy 

31st May 2012:
After the journal only being a fake incident, Iím pretty fed up with books. Hermione would kill me if she heard me say that ;)! Iím warning you, this missing one better lead to somewhere good! ;)

I LOVE the Rose and Scorpius scene. It is so real and believable. I actually Lol-ed through most of it. Scorpius is irresistible! His trust in Harry, and the fact that he has no problem vocalizing it, was so sweet and beautiful. You did an amazing job at making it sound perfect without being over done.

Geeze, did you want us unprepared or what?! After the soft scene with the Malfoyís, you had us emotional and tender, then just slammed us into Gampís psychotic ways! It was a great set up, and the pain that you made us feel for not only the guard, but Goyle, was magnificent!


Octavia had Ginnyís wand... hmm now we have another mystery on our hands! Unless Iím reading too much into that? I donít see Ginny letting a child play with her wand, so there has to be a reason, right?

Also, I found Oakfrod really likable. He seemed like a small town, honest guy. It made me smile :). I kind of hope he comes back, as long as an appearance doesn't end in him dead... ;)!

Author's Response: The missing book is quite important. I'll leave it at that for now.

Rose and Scorpius are so much fun to write. They're not exactly a blank slate because there's so much head-canon out there surrounding them, but I really like most of it, so I just sort of take the widely-accepted characterization of the two of them and run with it.

I like to have some strong contrasts in my chapters, and there's no better contrast to a tender Potter/Weasley/Malfoy family moment than Gamp. Homie is cracked. Violent, sociopathic, sadistic and mentally ill. As the old saying goes, people don't come out of prison better than they went in. It applies to Azkaban just as much as any other.

It's true. Octavia had Ginny's wand at the time she died. There may be more to it or not.

Oakford is another character, like Hattie, who doesn't really have a broader role in the story. But I felt like making him honest, likeable and a salt of the earth kind of guy.

Thanks for sticking with me! You're making amazing progress.


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Review #12, by Pixileanin 

29th May 2012:
Ron is pushed to his limit with the computers. I liked how you described his trepidation in the Muggle police station and how he was forced to get someone to help with the files. Desperate times...

Hermione gets to be a genius again, and I loved how you did it, with a combination of Muggle and Wizard techniques that no one else would have thought of. I thought that was a brilliant continuation of the "Muggles are confusing" theme started in the first scene with Ron and the computers.

Rose's insults are priceless. How do you come up with all of that?? And Scorpius' dialogue, both the internal and external, was really funny and a good break from the dark plotting.

Gamp is hideously evil, and I liked the way you showed it through Goyle's reactions to him. Makes me shudder.

So Ron and Harry and Hermione will have a lot to discuss when they meet up again. I love how you put so many details into your plot. It could go so many different ways, and I can't wait to find out which path you took!

pix

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Ron is completely a product of the magical world. He flounders outside of it. It's amusing to put him in such a situation.

The little trick that Hermione uses just came to me while I was writing this. Originally... well, originally I had no idea what I was going to do. Probably some sort of "brute force" magical approach. I'm glad it didn't come to that.

I really enjoy writing Scorpius and Rose. Up to this point, they have been pretty good relief from the heavier parts of the story.

I've mostly avoided writing from Gamp's PoV. The man is seriously deranged. This chapter is only the tip of the iceberg...

And yes, Ron, Harry and Hermione have much to discuss.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by shadowcat2 

29th April 2012:
Finally, we know more about the crime scene. Poor Octavia. i am glad she doesn't remember any of it. Maybe Ginny didn't have the wand with her because Octavia wanted to play with it. Maybe. There are so many tiny details. It's pretty amazing how you throw everything in.

And Harry. I wish he didn't have to suffer so much.

There are so many questions. I loved how Hermione found the name of the book. It's definitely very creative. Especially because she used the Muggle way of solving problems. I will read the next chapter now. :)

Author's Response: Ooh, today just keeps getting better and better! I love it when a reader just digs in for the long haul.

Octavia was too young to remember Ginny's death or any role she might or might not have played in it. That detail will be clarified before the end of the story. I'll give you this small hint: it's crucial.

Harry has been made to suffer a great deal in this story, and it's something that I feel badly about in a way. I relate a great deal to his character, and it's been tough to write some of these intensely personal scenes.

The little trick that Hermione used came to me while I was writing the chapter. I'm glad you liked it. I think it's really important to weave some bits of the muggle world into a good HP story. After all, it's where Harry and Hermione come from.

I am eagerly following your trail of reviews! Thanks so much!


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Review #14, by Elenia 

7th April 2012:
(Tag!)

Wow. This was one of the best chapters of this story! Everything was just amazing and brilliant and I loved every single scene! Just wow.

The first part with Ron in the muggle police station was awesome. I chuckled at him so many times and could just perfectly picture him panicking even at the sight of the computers. That was just so hilarious and I loved it.

And then we get to the scene with Hermione and the others who are going through the dark magic books. I have to say, that was one of the most impressive scenes I have ever read in FF. It was just so creative and showed us just how amazing writer you are.
Rose and Scorpius were wonderful as well, I really loved the dynamics between them, I think you made their relationship feel very real and believable.

And Gamp *shudders* he gives me the creeps, which of course means that you've done an excellent work with yet another character.

Loved the fact that Harry and Ron used their middle names as their aliases - that was a nice touch. In this scene we learn so much more again and the plot develops once again in so many ways. Just like Ron says: "Seems like every answer we find leads to two more questions."

Brilliant work! I think I'll have to read one more chapter tonight, I need to know what happens next!

See you soon ^^

~E

Author's Response: Hello, again!

So glad you liked it. This was the first of a number of darker chapters yet to come. The world is getting far more dangerous.

Sending Ron to the muggle police station was extremely fun to write. He's so far out of his element. At least he's able to fall back on magic.

The dark magic reading party gets an important piece of plot out there. The trick Hermione uses to get past the concealment spell popped into my head as I was writing this, and I was really pleased with how it turned out.

I'm so pleased that you like my Rosie and Scorpius. They're such a cute couple. He's goofy and she's a total wiseacre.

Seems like Gamp came across exactly the way I hoped. He's evil and he's not playing with a full deck.

The visit with Constable Oakworth gets some more plot details out, but we also get to see some more of Harry's feelings about Ginny's death and how he's dealing or perhaps not dealing with it.

I really enjoy all of your reviews! Thanks for sticking with me.


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Review #15, by ashling586 

11th January 2012:
Ah the mystery gets deeper and deeper. Now the files are missing, what a coincidence.
I loved the line about magic, "Dark magic is just a manifestation of the darkness of the human soul." So true.
I also love the trick Hermione used to figure out what the title of the hidden book was, that was really neat and so what I would have expected Hermione to be able to come up with.
So I have come up with a guess, The journal that the evil lady has isn't a riddle journal at all, but really the missing book from the ministers office. So I was right thinking that there was no journal hiding in Malfoy's house and that it was just a rouse. I have a feeling that the evil lady is really the ministers secretary, though I know that you can't actually tell me if I am right or not because that would ruin the story.
You see how involved I have become in this story. I am trying to solve the mystery even before your characters do. Great chapter and keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Susan Bones is becoming my favorite recurring character in this story. She always seems to have the right answer for every situation and she's so calm and collected. A great female supporting character if ever there was one.

You have some very interesting theories there. And, no, I can't tell you whether you're right without totally ruining it, but I'm impressed by the way you're thinking things through. All will be revealed soon!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by sophie_hatter 

9th December 2011:
Ron is just genius in the chapter. I really loved how he handled the office clerk, as well has his ongoing battle with computers.

Plus - how Hermione uncovered the missing book was really, really clever, and it was nice to hear from Dumbledore again:-)

Rose and Scorpius were great. Scorpius's internal dialogue was really funny - made me chuckle.

The section with Gamp was properly dark - he's a real nutjob, isn't he?

And finally - I loved the way the Muggle policeman brought out more details of Ginny's murder. Harry's reaction was just perfect.

Author's Response: The great thing about Ron is that you can write him at nearly any age and you don't have to change all that much. He's a rock, so to speak.

The idea of the disappearing ink came to me in a flash of inspiration. I'm glad it didn't sound overly forced.

Yes, Jeremy Gamp is a real nutjob. 100%, certifiably crazy.

Poor Harry. I promise that he will get to the bottom of all this in the end!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by Remus-Lazyness takes over again and don't wanna sign in. 

3rd December 2011:
Hey! It's me again! It's kinda slow here at work so I figured I would read your story real quick before the X-mas shoppers started coming in requesting to be helped. XD So needy.

Anyway! I'm going to read this and review it as I go. :)

Ron's feelings towards the computers just cracks me up. I'm glad you kept that about him. Ron is such a stubborn human being to really fully understand how the technology works. I see him get easily frustrated with it and chucking it to the wall. Or jinxing it. Vanessa's reactions are so believable. After hours of helping needy people, clerks tend to get annoyed easily. Specially when helping older people.

The section starting with "Those documents werenít found in the database,Ē to Ron saying "Bloody hell" You had a great dialogue exchange, however, I think you could have used with a line or two of Ron's feelings and thoughts. Not to sound too girly here talking about 'feelings' but this was Ron's sister. You would think he would REALLY want to get behind who and why they killed Ginny.

Hermione eating popcorn...never thought I would see that but I liked it! It definitely gives her more of a 'muggle' feel mostly because we never saw them at Hogwarts eating such a delicious snack! Hermys fuzzing over Hermione was great and very believable of a house elf. Also, you wrote "spew"...isn't it suppose to be "S.P.E.W'?

I absolutely loved Susan's interpretation of dark magic and the soul and Hermione/Susan's banter about the greed of both muggles and wizards alike.

The line 'Susan agreed. "although muggles certainly certainly arenít immune to bloodlust " 'Although' is not capitalized.

I'm starting to get wary here with "Xerxes the Seer". This is your story and I'm sure you have the answer to this but is he more than just a wireless show host? Also, why would the portrait of Dumbledore not talk to anyone but Harry? It seems very un-Dumbledore. A bit of their personality is magicked into the portraits so it would seem a bit weird Dumbledore wouldn't talk. That's just me though.

Scorpio's first paragraph. I loved it! The entire Rose and Scorpio's dynamic was fantastic. I don't recall ever seeing the two of them together. Rose in a very stubborn girl who takes more of her father when it comes to temper. And Scorpio is...well, just Scorpio who has a mind of his own.

Question, Jeremy Gamp...wouldn't he hate going to a muggle pub? He likes their liquor but to associate with the 'filth'...wouldn't that go towards what he dislikes? Also, why is Goyle still fat? Hahaha that sounds wrong but wouldn't his stay at Azkaban sort of force him to lose the weight thanks to the lack of 'good' food in prison?

Nice touch on Harry and Ron's use of their middle names. Although for some odd reason, as soon as you mentioned them being from Scotland Yard, my mind switched to them talking with Scottish accents. Haha!

Anyway, this was a great chapter and your plot is slowly unfolding. I think you've finally managed the balance of filler and what drives the plot forward. This was definitely an enjoyable read. I'll review your next chapter as soon as I can...we're starting to get slightly busy here at Retail world! :)

By the way...I just realized that this was a VERY long review... o_O

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I admire the dedication, reviewing while you're at work! Hope we don't get you in trouble.

Hmmnnn... I guess I didn't think too much about Ron's feelings, aside from his frustration. I'm still holding off a bit on really exploring the loss he felt at Ginny's death. It's coming up in a big way later on in the story.

You know, I'm still figuring out how much or what, exactly, I want to do with Xerxes. It could be an interesting little subplot, but I already seem to have a lot of those. I don't want this to become a convoluted mess.

Gamp is in the muggle pub because it's across from the building they're watching. As far as muggle liquor, I think I explained it reasonably well. The guy is just plain nuts. Liquor slows his brain down a bit.

So I am very glad that you enjoyed it, especially considering that you risked your job and all to read and review it. Thank you so much. I always appreciate your reviews!


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Review #18, by Beeezie 

3rd December 2011:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!

First off - and this is minor and ridiculous - you used the phrase, "lose the plot." That officially makes you one of my favorite people this week. I absolutely love that phrase, and no one ever uses it.

Anyway.

Again, I found very few mechanical errors. At the end of the section with Rose and Scorpius, you used the word "skive" in a way that I found a little odd, and there were a few points where I thought a comma or two would have been good (for example, in the first paragraph, I thought, "unlike his father he had no great desire" should have had a comma after father), but that's obviously really minor and not something that really impacts the story.

I thought that the way you portrayed Ron in the station was great. For many other characters, I would not have believed that they wouldn't have picked up anything after forty years, but for Ron, it makes perfect sense. He's exactly the kind of dense person who would manage to not figure it out - after all, Hermione was still reminding him about things from Hogwarts, A History after seven years. I also loved the bit about Rose's computer - it was a nice touch. (I'm assuming they found a workaround for electronics being disrupted by magic.) However, while I thought you portrayed his actions well, I wanted you to delve a little deeper into his emotions. You say that his nerves were rising, and that he was trying to keep his voice from shaking, but you didn't really expand on his frame of mind.

I also thought the Vanessa's annoyance worked well, but I almost would have liked you to exaggerate it even more - for someone in the mid twenty-first century to not know how to use a computer would be really surprising to me. I mean, at this point I'm surprised when anyone under the age of 50 isn't reasonably proficient, and this is supposed to be in the mid twenty-first century.

I loved the section where Hermione, Susan, Terry, and Ernie are going through the books looking for spells. I actually think that it was one of the best scenes in the story to date - you were really inventive with the research and added just enough without overdoing it, and from her thoughts about eating popcorn to her feelings about house elves and her own helplessness, I really felt like I was getting inside her head. The way they ultimately end up solving the problem was terrific, as was the input from Dumbledore's portrait.

You hadn't really shown us much of Scorpius and Rose together before now, and I definitely liked the dynamic and what it showed us about Scorpius's feeling toward Rose's family. I don't have much to say other than that, but it was a good section.

I felt like Gamp's was by far the weakest of the sections. That's not to say that it was bad, because it wasn't, but there were points that just didn't really make sense to me. For example, Gamp says that he likes Muggle spirits - why? What makes them different from - and, for that matter, better than - wizard spirits? I also felt like the scene was a little more drawn out in general than it needed to be - that usually doesn't bother me, but here, it kind of did. Showing us Gamp's sadism was important, but I felt like you could have condensed it. It was about as long as most of the other sections, and it didn't tell us anywhere near as much about the plot or the characters.

You definitely ended the chapter on a high note - I was afraid that Gamp's section would be the last, but you added a lot of intrigue with Harry and Ron's conversation with Jarvis, and I'm really curious to see how that turns out. Again, as with the Rose/Scorpius section, I don't have much to say other than that it was strong, but it was definitely good.

Another solid chapter! One of your best yet. :)

Author's Response: Awesome! Another epic Beeezie review!

Ah, Ron. The great thing about Ron is that you can always plunk him into character from the books, plus or minus a little bit of aging, and he's believable. Part of the premise of the story is that wizards have developed a way to shield electronics from magical interference using genie glass from the Middle East. George runs a company called Weasley's Wizarding Wraps that makes shielding for computers, cell phones, etc. So, yes, the particular problem has been overcome, albeit Ron is still having some issues.

The scene where they're reading the dark magic spell books had been in the script for a while, but Hermione's solution to the problem came to me in a flash of inspiration. I was afraid that I was going to have to lean on Dumbledore's portrait for the whole solution, so I definitely like the way it turned out better.

Muggle spirits, if I recall correctly, are generally stronger, e.g. muggle beer vs. butterbeer. That whole scene probably could have been tightened up. I mostly just wanted to make the point that Gamp is ruthless, sociopathic and mentally ill.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

30th November 2011:
Ahaha! I finally got something right! See, Hermione can 'rune' it up! We're finally getting deeper into the story. I can't wait to find out what happens next. I suspect that some of the 'Bloodies' or you know the ones that are on the run and all that stuff are going to turn, at least one or two of them are going to turn to the Aurors or run off. Things are getting deep now! Geesh! WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS IDEA! It's so well developed.

Author's Response: Here's the honest truth. Before I started writing this, I read three really incredible post-Deathly Hallows fics in the archives: Harry Potter and the Summer After the War (M) by Mrs_Granger, The Onset of Autumn (15+) by sand_dollar and my personal favorite, Learning To Live Again (M) by seeker68. They gave me so many ideas about what sort of lives the characters might have wound up living. So I started looking to see what sort of stories were out there that focused on the trio in the Next Gen era and beyond. I hardly found anything, and nothing that I liked. So I set off to do it, myself.

Maybe I should do one of those About the Author threads, although it might just be me and you. ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by CloakAuror9 

22nd November 2011:
First off, so sorry for the very very late reply, my laptop broke 2 days ago and I just got it back today and I haven't had any internet access since.

Anyways, like always amazing story! Loved it.

I like how you made Harry and Ron use their first names (James, and Billius) they sounded more official. I loved that bit!

The descriptions are so so amazing. You can imagine that you're either standing next to the characters or just a normal passer-by in the background.

The flow of the story is getting more and more interesting (or is that plot..yeah that's plot) as we go further on. The pace..I'm not sure, mostly it's because you kinda had the story in three of four bits, so it seems rushed to me but anyways...that doesn't affect the story much!

Overall, exciting story! 10/10

I would gladly review the next chapter!
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: No worries. I always look forward to your reviews whenever they come.

I figured that when Aurors go undercover among muggles, they might as well use names that are easy to remember, especially if they're going to obliviate the subjects afterwards.

As far as the pace and the way the narrative jumps around, I have to admit that I have no idea who a reader like you -- who's constantly jumping back and forth between at least half a dozen ongoing stories to offer reviews -- is able to keep up with them all. I'm a pretty linear reader. I like to start reading a story and stick with it to the end, and I think that affects the way I write. At any rate, thanks for sticking with me!

I can hardly explain how much I appreciate your reviews!


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