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23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 

29th December 2014:
Hey there Dan!

Jumping back into this story.

Harry, Harry, Harry. He likes getting his hands dirty. He's definitely not fooling me - he enjoyed every minute of his covert operation. And of course, he wouldn't send anyone else to do it - haha! I'm interested to learn what is in those files. As far as I remember, Ron and Hermione don't know the truth about Stoops' murderer.

It was nice to get a break form Lady Tenabra in this chapter. She's creepy and doesn't seem to have any limits to how far she'll go.

Poor, poor Hermione. I'm wondering if this voice she keeps hearing is something from her past - maybe there's something buried deep that she doesn't remember from her childhood - before she found out she was a witch. Hmmm...

And Scorpius arrives - as promised! I like your version of him. He clearly has the Malfoy cunning nature, but doesn't buy in to the same tenets that got his parents and grandparents into trouble. And he seems to know how to manipulate people - at least enough to keep the peace for now.

So I'm starting to think that the New Blood Order has infiltrated the Ministry a bit more than anyone has realized. They've taken advantage of Hermione's absence to covertly begin pushing their own agenda. Part of me thinks the minister is in on it and part of me thinks that is just too obvious. He reminds me a lot of Fudge, actually - much more interested in how things look than what is really getting done.

I'm glad that Ron invited Hermione to take a look at those files - her sharp eyes and clever brain will definitely scope out any anomalies or details that were overlooked. I can't wait to find out what she sees.

And we have Harry the Hero again. I hope his need to save the world doesn't land everyone in a heap of trouble this time. I don't feel like he really heard Al's message - geez the Weasleys are an army in their own right!

Haha - a Gryffindor through and through! Too bad he had to miss the match!

Great chapter! Catch you next time!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! Happy New Year!

Harry isn't much of one to direct things from the wings. He likes to be right in the middle of the action. And he *definitely* enjoyed messing with the Minister's secretary. You'll learn very soon what's in the files. It will certainly prove interesting and revealing.

You're on to something about the voice Hermione keeps hearing. Stay tuned...

Scorpius is his own person, shaped by both his parents' values -- a lot of which he came to reject -- and the things that he learned from Albus and the rest of the Potters and Weasleys. He's able to manipulate people when it's required, but he doesn't make a lifestyle out of it. I hope you'll like him.

The Blood Order is pretty insidious, but how widespread is it? It could run deep or it could just be one or two people in key places. You'll have to wait and see. ;)

There's no way that Ron and Harry would leave Hermione out of this. They need her brain too much. She'll definitely help to bring order from the chaos.

Ha! I couldn't help but write Harry's parting shot for the Quidditch match. There was no way he would pass on an opportunity like that.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by GingeredTea 

28th November 2014:
This whole chapter was fantastic and powerful. Somehow, you managed to keep building up the tension, never quite letting me find my bearings before moving quickly onward. Then you gave us a very small reprieve in the form of Harry's 'immaturity'. I loved every bit of this chapter!

Getting clever in your age, hmm Harry? Harry did that so perfectly and stayed in character so well - such a difference from him in his youth. I loved every minute of it and laughed at his manipulations of the secretary.

Hermione's inability to find peace seemed so far from her character and yet so close. Hermione always seemed like someone who could come to terms with anything, but I also see her as someone who would feel 'crippled' in her ability to do just that, if she wasn't one hundred percent able physically. I think that is what is really getting into her way.

It was nice for Scorpius to get some time in the story, especially to see his interaction with Draco.

I knew it was only a matter of time before the body turned up, but I hadn't actually realized that the muggles would find it. The way you had that message delivered was a great idea. I also enjoyed the moment between Albus and Harry. Albus really reminds me of a steadier Harry.

Author's Response: Hi! It's review answering day! Very exciting. Also, I'm very far behind. :-/

Harry is getting quite clever in his old age. After surviving a war and decades of serving as an Auror, he's hip to all the tricks of the trade, magical and muggle. He also very much enjoyed messing with the Minister's secretary.

Hermione is locked in a deep struggle with her own mind. She can make intellectual peace with her condition, but something is preventing her from fully accepting it. Is it the fact that she's lost a measure of her physical "ableness" or is it something more than that? We shall see...

Scorpius will get a fair bit more "screen time" before the story is all said and done. If you liked his interaction with his father, I think you'll really enjoy what I have in store.

Albus has a lot of his father in him, but in other ways he has a lot in common with Hermione. He's more reserved, analytical and deliberate. What he lacks almost entirely is the fiery temperament that his two siblings inherited from their mother.

Whee! It's fun, watching a new reader make their way through the story. It really takes me back. Thanks for the swap and thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #3, by APerkins 

22nd October 2013:
Loved the polyjuice/doxy's! made me laugh :)

Hermione is definitely showing through as Hermione, Harry is Harry, and Ron is Hermione's husband.

I htink the problem is Im such a Ron fan I love to see him taking a lead role, and he feels like a side kick.

Either way, Loving it!

Author's Response: I had as much fun writing Harry's foray into the Minister's office as I did any other scene in this novel. Something about the idea of him going undercover and whipping out all of his 007-esque Auror skills just made me giddy.

Like I said in one of my other responses, give Ron a little time. I promise he gets better!

Glad you're loving it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by alicia and anne 

3rd July 2013:
I love that Harry is being sneaky! No wonder he's an Auror. He's so awesome isn't he? I love him!

You have really got Hermiones anxiety across really well, you've made it so believable and I feel so sorry for her. I hope you know just how many feelings you're making me feel with your brilliant story by the way! A lot!! It's good! :D

I'm glad that Scorpius is going to stick with the Weasley/Potter clan, they all need each other and protect each other.

Aww just when I think that Ron's love for Hermione can't get any more adorable, he makes a comment about liking carrying Hermione around. I have so many feelings right now! *HUGS THEM TIGHTLY*

Haha Harry is very immature sending that message during the match, he's so brilliant! I love him!

And Al is definitely right, Harry does have style!

Another brilliantly wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Being an Auror, as well as having known Dung and probably also Fred and George, definitely taught Harry a thing or two about sneaking around. He has the skills down.

I'm glad you liked the scene with Hermione. It wasn't much fun to write because I wouldn't wish what she's going through on anyone. But if you can feel a little of what she's feeling, I think I did a good job.

Scorpius is definitely going to stick with the family, if for no other reason than the fact that Rose would kill him if he didn't. In my mind, Al sort of adopted him while they were in school, then Rose cemented the deal.

Ron does fawn over her quite a bit, doesn't he? It's just in his nature, I think. Ron always struck me as being more like his mother than his father.

Being immature and having style definitely aren't mutually exclusive. Some of the most stylish people I know have an immature streak a mile wide. ;)

Can't wait to see what you think of the next one. There's another interesting twist coming...

Thanks!
-Dan


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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

10th May 2013:
Sorry to be clogging up your unanswered reviews page in this manner but you write too much of an addicting story :P

I really enjoyed this first scene. It kind of felt like watching a mission impossible film or something daft like that but it was so good and realistic. Ms Dynt is particularly horrible. She reminded me of Umbridge, wanting to make sure Harry/Bixby was doing as he was supposed to be but not wanting to get her hands dirty. I love the whole set up Harry went through to make it convincing. Just awesome. I love how you gave Bixby such an interesting back story though. you didn't just have him be a character that was just mentioned in passing, we learnt so much about him in such few words and it was really interesting. I really have to commend you for that!

Poor Hermione's still really struggling. I'm still dying to know about this girl yelling cripple though. Its really got my interest.

I love the kind of contrast you have going on here between Draco and Scorpius and Harry and Albus. It's obvious Scorp and Al are concerned about whats happening and want to protect their families and love ones, and while Harry and Draco feel the same, it's interesting to see how much they react differently. Dracos obviously a lot more frightened than Harry.

Again, I love the light heartedness of the last little bit (except of course Flints murder but no one liked him so that's okay) Harry might burst into flames if he sits with the sneaky snakes. Loyal to the end, that's what you've got to love! The message he left made me smile, very immature but very much needed.

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Sorry? Lauren, the last thing on earth you should do is apologize! :p I love this!

I had an amazing time writing Harry's infiltration of the Minister's office. From start to finish, it was non-stop fun for me. I got to throw in some strange little ideas that never would have fit anywhere else, like using a Sneakoscope or mentioning Mundungus Fletcher.

Arabela Dynt does have a few shades of Umbridge in her. She's a lifelong Ministry career climber and she's not afraid to step on other people along the way.

You'll find out abut the little girl crying "cripple!" fairly soon. I hope it's worth the wait.

You know, I didn't start out thinking about the contrast between the two father-son pairs when I wrote this. I think it dawned on me while I was going through the beta read. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. ;)

You have to weave some light-hearted moments into a story like this. Otherwise it gets way too depressing.

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

8th January 2013:
I say again; poor Hermione. But she can beat this, she always does. *crosses fingers*

I hope that Albus and the other won't have to do anything, but I get what he's saying - he should be able to help. I understand Harry's words, too. No one wants their kids to fight.

Draco's rare moment of concern was touching. I loved it. As I love that Al was a Slytherin. It's were he belongs. ;)

I know this one is really short, but my hand is starting to numb, so... This was awesome and I really, really, love reading this story. I love the characters and the way you write them and the plot and I will be back for more. :D

Sam.

(800, yay!)

Author's Response: I will definitely respond to your earlier reviews very soon, but I wanted to respond to this one first. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave all of these wonderful little gifts!

Hermione is strong and she has good support. We'll see whether that's enough.

Albus and the rest of his generation grew up hearing the stories of their parents' heroism. Part of this story is about that group coming of age in a sense. As you'll see, they play an important part.

Draco is deeply concerned for his family. It's really one of his most endearing traits. Perhaps his *only* endearing trait, now that I think of it.

Again, thank you so much! I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the story.


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Review #7, by Illuminate 

21st November 2012:
Hi! Here for another review!

Again, really great! I thought Harry would take the whole situation a little more angrily considering it seems to have a connection to Ginny's death, but I understand there wasn't really anything he could have done other than what he did- got the file out of the Ministry. I thought that whole sequence was really fun to read :) Harry has certainly picked up some tricks over the years.

Good to see Hermione and Ron getting back to work too; their characterisaion was really good in that scene. I was sad to see that she can't face sitting in the wheelchair. I also want to know who the little girl is who's calling her a cripple!

Nice to see Draco showing some love for his son and granddaughter. And I really need a scene between Draco and Octavia! xD I hope there's one soon.

Harry was mischevous at the end- I think it would be within his character to leave the Patronus message for his grandson, but I'm not sure about sitting with the Gryffindors. I mean, obviously he would support Gryffindor but it would mean directly opposing his grandson...I think if he planned to sit with Neville or something it would make more sense. But that's just my nitpickyness :)

Good job again :D

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Harry is a lot older and wiser than the emotional, rather hot-headed young man we remember from the books. He's definitely angry about what happened to Ginny -- we don't find out just how angry he truly is for quite a while yet -- but he manages it a lot better at this age. So he does what he has to do in order to get some answers.

Hermione is trying to get her life back toward normal any way that she can. Now that she's out of danger and back home, Ron is also gradually returning to a more normal frame of mind. As far as who the little girl is... well, you'll find out fairly soon. It might not be what you think. ;)

There are several scenes involving Draco and Octavia, but you're going to have to wait a while. Sorry about that. ;)

Even at this age, there are certain things that Harry still can't quite change. Nor would he want to, really. It's a little immature, but I thought it was funny.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by academica 

11th July 2012:
Hey Dan! I'm back with another requested review :)

Look at Harry, being super sneaky! I really like how far he went in covering up his tracks, what with shooting spells all around him and transfiguring the Doxies. I also like Ms. Dynt - the idea of her making people repeat embarrassing snippets and phrases "for the record" in meetings cracks me up. Was she inspired a bit by our beloved Dolores? I like Bixby, too - very interesting back story there.

Moment of silence for the Freud quote. Love it!

I really feel bad for Hermione, but it's nice to see her not being perfect at magic for once. I do sort of wonder where that memory stems from (the one where the girl yells 'cripple'), and it will be interesting (and poignant) to watch Hermione recover from here and renew her strength.

Wow - I'm really impressed by Draco here. He seems much more serious and solemn here, and it's like I knew that he had to be this way under the surface, considering all that he's been through, and yet I never really see it come out so clearly in fanfiction. I love the line about the matching eyes meeting and his gentle but firm way of attempting to show concern for Scorpius and his family. That exchange between father and son was definitely my favorite part of this chapter. Very well done!

I liked the conversation between Albus and Harry, too. I think both of them made good points and good observations about times of conflict - on Harry's side, it makes sense that the older generations would want to protect their children, but on Albus's side, I can see why the children would want to fight back just like their parents did. It seemed like a good way to summarize some of the larger sentiment the characters (and I) have had regarding the war on a more personal level. Overall, I thought this chapter was really great.

Nice work! I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi, there! Always a pleasure!

I had more fun writing Harry's incursion into the Minister's office than just about any other scene that came before it. It was definitely one of those "imagination running wild" scenes where I got to let Harry be a little bit of a lot of 80's TV detectives. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it.

Hermione is trying whatever she can to overcome her hang-up with the wheelchair. Sadly, she fails again. I'm glad you picked up on the little girl's voice. It's very significant...

Draco is a much older, wiser version of the character we saw at the end of Deathly Hallows. He has been through a lot, which is a theme that will get touched on several more times before the story is through. He is trying very hard to protect his family from the terrible things that his experience tells him are coming.

The conversation between Harry and Al was meant to be contrasting and complimentary to the one between Draco and Scorpius. Both sons have concerns, but while Draco is advocating greater caution, Harry is still trying to keep his children from panicking. It mostly comes down to their different points of view. I suppose it also doesn't hurt that Harry's house hasn't been attacked...

Thanks so much for the review. It's definitely helpful to get your feedback on some of these key scenes.


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Review #9, by Gin_gin06 

24th June 2012:
And so the plot is thickening.

1.) Haha, harry is such a Slytherin sometimes. Gaddocks... teehee. And then sometimes not.. won't even sit with his son on their side and tells his grandson he hopes the other house wins the house cup. How evil of him. :b

2.) I love how (and so don't at the same time) Hermione is struggling with her wheelchair and the whole affiar. It brings the whole situation down to earth and believable because the way you write the characters has the, showing their worst flaws and their best quailties.

3.) Awww. Draco's worried.

Not much to say other than i'm too busy reading the next chapter to write more.

reading on...
Gin

Author's Response: Hello, again!

There's a reason the Sorting Hat struggled a bit with Harry. He definitely has the ability to be cunning and sneaky when he has to be. But there are certain areas where he won't compromise. Sitting in the Slytherin section... I mean, come on! How could that ever happen?

Poor Hermione. She's struggling a great deal. Her path in this story is a difficult one, so I'm glad you like what I've done with her character.

Draco is definitely worried. The situation is reminiscent in many ways of the build-up to the war.

On to your next review! Thanks so much!


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Review #10, by Jchrissy 

31st May 2012:
I think I might have figured out what I like best about your incredible writing style; everyone seems absolutely real. The maintenance man, for example; instead of just throwing in that he was going to be out for the day, you created a whole back story for him. You made his character go from a two dimensional resource to get Harry into the office, to an actual person.

I love that you included both father and son moments together, it was a beautiful contrast. You have so much talent for making us feel exactly what your characters are without ever just stating their emotions.

On to the next!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I like being thorough with my plots and details. When I read other stories, I grimace every time I see a throw-away character or memory where the author could have used the opportunity to paint a more vivid picture of the world. It's usually my number one constructive criticism of most stories I read, unless the grammar and spelling also happen to be atrocious. ;)

Both of the father/son conversations were a lot of fun to write, and I'm glad that you liked the contrast there. Although both Harry and Draco care very much about their families, they express it very differently.

I will continue to chase your reviews with responses! Thanks so much for leaving them.


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Review #11, by Akussa 

24th May 2012:
Hi! I had a bit of free time so I chose to continu reading your story. Even though it takes a while for me to get to it sometimes, it's strange how it never leaves me. I keep thinking about it and the plot stays very alive in my mind so that no matter how long it's been, I always remember precisely where I am, what happened and what I imagined would happen. That is a sign of just how beautifully written and compelling this story is.

I really liked this chapter; things are moving slowly in the sense of the action but there were huge steps when it comes to character developpement. I especially loved how you wrote Hermione's reaction to the wheelchair. It felt so real and touching, I could just imagine being in her situation. The descriptions and attention to details was brilliant and highly emotional.
Another strong point of this chapter was the talk between fathers and sons; both Harry and Albus as well as Draco and Scorpius. Both discussion were brilliant and touching. Both scenes, no matter how different they were, they carried a similar message of love and family preservation.

Once again, brilliant chapter, I can't wait to read the rest and see what is hidden in that case file...

Author's Response: Hello, again! I'm really glad you chose to come back.

I'm glad you think the story is compelling. That's a doubt I always have somewhere in the back of my head.

This chapter wasn't big on action, but there was a lot going on with the various characters. Poor Hermione. She's going to have a long, slow road to recovery. I'm glad you were able to connect with her situation.

I always enjoy writing the Al/Harry and especially the Scorpius/Draco conversations. The way that I've imagined the world, there is an awful lot about the war that the Next Gen characters have been sheltered from. A lot of that is coming out now.

Glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by shadowcat2 

29th April 2012:
Harry is such a genius. I totally loved how he got the files he needed. I loved the part where Scorpius met his dad... we fell in love... and then she dumped me... we fell in love again and then i cheated on her..
I just had to laugh. I love the relationship between Rose and Scorpius. The interaction between Albus and Harry was definitely amazing. Hermione. Seriously, I feel so bad about her. I imagined a picture of the trio with Hermione on a wheelchair... it just didn't feel right. Hope she gets better.
I have been reading this story for almost the whole day. Am still not done. will leave a review in the next chapter as soon as I am done reading it.

Author's Response: I really, really enjoyed writing the scene where Harry infiltrates the Minister's office. It gave me a chance to dip into that cloak-and-dagger sort of action, but with magical twists all over it.

Scorpius is a character that I really enjoy writing in this story, even though he doesn't pop up all that often. Pay attention, though. He will be there at several key moments near the end.

Albus is another minor character who will play a growing role in the action.

When you get farther along, you'll see how Hermione's injury plays out. I promise that it will be interesting...

Wow. I am really impressed by your ability to stick with it. I hope I can keep you reading! Thanks so much!


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Review #13, by Pixileanin 

17th April 2012:
Scorpius in a marketing position?

"Then he met Rose and fell in love with her. And then she dumped him. And then they fell in love again and he cheated on her. And then they fell in love again and..."

Such a great tribute to fanfiction! It was fun to read about the way Scorpius dutifully went to be tortured by his family.

I like how you gave Hermione a puzzle to figure out to fuel her determination. It was the only thing I could think of that might help her push through her mental block. The last section with the Quidditch teams was really fun too.

And the plot thickens...

Author's Response: Scorpius has found gainful employment reminiscent of his school Quidditch days, much to the chagrin of his father. I haven't decided whether I think Lucius died before that happened, but I can only imagine what a disgrace he would have found that to be.

I've always loved the characterization of Rose and Scorpius in Delicate, so I tend to go with something like it, although the timeline of their premarital pregnancy is pushed back to after their school days. In spite of the fact that he doesn't see eye to eye with his family on blood purity any longer, he is still very close with his mother and his grandmothers, and perhaps closer to his father than either one is prepared to admit.

Hermione is working through her issues, but it is probably helpful to have something to take her mind off of things for a while. And you'll probably like what she does with the files in the next chapter.

And I don't see Harry ever being able to fully overcome the rivalry he feels with the Slytherins, even if it is more for fun in his older years.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by Elenia 

5th April 2012:
Yes, yes, I know, it was quite obvious that I would be back, wasn't it?

I just can't help it. I adore your story so much. Though I bet my reviews will start to bore you at some point since I feel like I'm repeating the same sentences over and over again. But that's because I'm running out of praise words d:

Anyways, moving on...

Loved the beginning! The fact that you mentioned those things about the battle of the Department of Mysteries was a nice touch! I don't think I remember seeing anybody make Harry think about them while walking through the Atrium, even though it should be quite obvious. That was a hard day in his life after all.

Loved the whole 'secret agent' -plan, it was nicely done and plausible in my opinion! Clever idea those gaddocks and using Hagrid as a cover!

Poor Hermione, she's going such a rough time. I could really feel her anxiety about the wheelchair and it was hard to read her struggling with it and breaking like that, but it was all beautifully written. I like it that we see some weakness like that in her character as well.

Liked the conversation between Draco and Scorpius. I think it fit really well in Draco's character to try and talk Scorpius into coming with them as they hide from the possible war. That's something that I think he would do.

Hmm, interesting. All that stuff Hermione was pondering about her work, is that all the NBO's doing too? Can't wait to see what their next move is!

Loved the ending, it was fun to read, especially Harry's reaction to sitting or even going up to the Slytherin stands, that was a nice idea. Though the thought about those old prejudices and if they'd still be that strong did cross my mind. I think there might be still some left, but not that powerful. But that was just a teeny tiny thought, it didn't really bother me at all (:

Amazing chapter as always. I'll continue... soon d:

Happy writing!

~E

Author's Response: For the record, I will never grow tired of your reviews! They absolutely make my day.

This was another chapter that was loads of fun to write. Harry's undercover mission into the Minister's office had a smirk on my face most of the time while I was writing it. People thought that I was seriously strange for a while there.

Hermione is indeed going through a very tough spell. There is a reason. It gets revealed a few chapters from now. I really hope you like my reasoning.

Draco just wants to keep his loved ones safe. He understands better than most just how dangerous war really is.

I don't know that Harry is prejudiced against Slytherin House, per se. He just can't resist the opportunity to poke a bit of fun at them when the opportunity presents itself.

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review. You're such a good writer in your own right, so your thoughts mean a great deal!


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Review #15, by Occlument 

14th February 2012:
Hey! Great chapter.

I love all the spook stuff in the beginning. It was a nice, well plotted thriller stuff. I also like Harry's refusal to sit on the Slytherine side of the field - it felt believable - and Harry's exit was a nice and light-hearted scene in between all the dark and danger.

I would have thought, though, that Harry would have learned lock-picking from either of the Weasley twins. I was a bit surprised to read a 'Mundungus' where I expected a 'George'. I suppose, remembering Harry's dislike for the thief, I can't really imagine the two of them bonding over picking locks.

And... wow, I suppose that's it. I guess I have very little to say about this great chapter. Can't wait to read the next one.

Author's Response: Harry's infiltration of the Minister's office was a lot of fun to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. The story is pretty heavy in places, so it's important to do some fun things here and there.

I _almost_ changed Harry's departure from the Quidditch field to something more boring and benign. With the benefit of hindsight, I'm glad I didn't. Maybe it strains credibility just a bit, but it's also fun and very in character, I think.

I suppose George might have made a better choice than Dung. It's something I'll give some thought to some day when I go back and do major revisions. You know, years from now when I have time.

Thanks so much for sticking with the story and reviewing!


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Review #16, by ashling586 

7th January 2012:
I have to agree that sending the message to the announcer instead of personally going into the slytherin section could be considered childish, but I thought it was brillant. No matter how old a person get there is always a bit of child in them that likes to get out every once in a while. Or at least that's what my grandpa reminds me every time I catch him doing something childish. My favorite part of the chapter was the beginning. The whole made up story about the pipes in order to get the files was so cool.
Another wonderful chapter. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: There are certain things that I just can't see Harry getting over, no matter how old he is. So even though he has a son and now a grandson who were sorted into Slytherin, he's not about to set foot in their section of the stands.

The first section of this chapter was tremendous fun to write, and I'm glad that some of that enjoyment seems to have come across.

Thanks so much for another terrific review!


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Review #17, by sophie_hatter 

9th December 2011:
I thought the section in the Minister's office was excellent - really well thought through, with the diversionary tactics.

Then there were some lovely moments of parent/child bonding - Draco and Scorpius, Harry and Albus, Hermione and Rose & Hugo

And I loved your closing line - Harry will always have style!

Author's Response: The section in the Minister's office was really fun to write, spy novel kind of stuff. Having him mock the Minister's secretary was also entertaining.

The mushy family stuff is an important part of the story, I think. It adds depth and believability to the characters and helps the reader connect.

And, yes, Harry has style.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #18, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

30th November 2011:
I really like the parallels you have going on. Harry seems at ease doing things he did years ago when he was trying to infiltrate the office of Umbridge. It was really nice to see him have a bit of fun and it was nice to see a father/son moment as well. I felt like this chapter was necessary because even though it still had a ton of action going on it was a nice break from the depressing things that have been going on.

I really like the last sentence. He's Harry Potter! Of course he has style!

Author's Response: Yeah, things slowed down a bit in this one. I agree with you. It was necessary. Not every chapter can move at breakneck speed.

The break-in was a trip to write. I enjoyed it thoroughly, as well as the chat between Harry and Albus.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Roots in Water 

5th November 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Sorry for the lateness.

I've really enjoyed the last three chapters- I think that you're doing a great job of continuing your story and balancing several plot lines at the same time. I thought that your Weasley family meal was nicely done- I really enjoyed reading about the other Weasleys and being reminded that they have lives too. :) The scene with the Malfoys was nice as well- these scenes are really helping to develop your characters into real people.

And woah- what happened with Flint? I completely did not see that coming! I was suspicious that the spell he used was a fake/trap because I thought it was so out of character/impossible for Voldemort to disguise his own journal as one of Lockhart's so I wasn't surprised when she tossed it out afterwards but I was surprised that she killed him. It seemed like she had been planning on doing that for awhile... It wasn't out of character or "unevil" at all- I was just shocked. I also am a little upset that the auror died- it seemed so sudden... But it was also a good reminder that their job is dangerous.

I do have a question though: would she actually read the book she has spent so much time and effort to obtain to a bunch of men she doesn't respect? Wouldn't she prefer to keep the knowledge to herself so that she's the one with all the power? As well, if she's able to read from the book, does that mean that she had it before she sent Flint on all those missions? If so, was she just looking for a way to get rid of Flint? (Or it could be that I just read the ending of the previous chapter wrong... that would be embarassing).

As well, I'm being picky here, but would Ron know about a bomb? He described the inside of the Malfoy manor as looking like a bomb went off... but that's a very muggle description. Granted, he could have heard about it from Hermione or Arthur...

I really enjoy how you incorporate little bits of canon into your story, especially since the ones you mention tend to be important parts of Harry's life that I would think he'd still remember, even all these years later. It really helps to tie the story back in with the one we all know and love and shows the extra effort on your part to remember all the little facts.

You're still doing a great job with your description and your action and I loved the scene with Albus and his father- I thought it was a very nice family scene. Yes, he does have style!

As always, I hope my comments are helpful and you can definitely request again once the next chapter is up!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Our "friend" Flint met a rather shocking end, no? I'm sure that **he** was shocked. As far as whether Tenabra really has Voldemort's journal and what she's really playing at... well, that's really the central mystery of the story at this point. All will be revealed in good time.

Little bits of canon are huge for me. I really dislike fics that just toss canon aside and make up everything as they go along. If I can get the reader to look up at least once or twice a chapter and think, "hey, I remember that from one of the books!" then I feel like I'm doing well.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Oh, and what's up with your story? I can't wait for the next chapter...


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Review #20, by Remus 

4th November 2011:
Hey! Perelandra again! :D

Your first paragraph was a bit difficult to read. Not that it wasn't unreadable or any of the sort but in a way that you had too many short sentences that it totally killed the flow you usually have at the beginning of the first paragraph. If you could combine some of them together you'll definitely get a better flow.

Just to point out...there's no deputy minister position for Department of Magical Games and Sports. Just the head of, just like Harry is the head of the Auror department. While they just take care of the secrecy and take care of all of the sports played in the UK, I can believe that they would have info regarding what player was switched and so on. They can't however, control who gets moved where. Too much big brother-ish. By the way, how come Harry just didn't just use his invisibility cloak?

The part with Hermione...I'm not sure how I feel about it. I like it and yet I'm starting to wonder if she's starting to be a bit OOC. Specially on her personality. I mean, this is the girl that wiped her parents memories in order to fight evil and now she can't get over about being on a chair? Mind you, it would be a very stressful situation to anyone. A radical change in life but I feel that Hermione, in order to get her job done for the Muggle borns, she would move on and be stronger about the situation.

The part with the Malfoys. Loved it. I think Older Draco is definitely growing on me to the point of being my favorite. By the way, in that section you wrote 'ďYouíve very nearly late,Ē the cherub said without the slightest hint of decorum.' I think you just have a small typo there as it would be better to have "You're"

The last part with Harry and Al. I loved the interaction between the two of them however, I know Harry's all about loyalty but you would think he would be alright to just step a bit into the Slytherin side after years of raising a Slytherin son. Where did Harry sit when he went to see his son play? Although, if you did it this way, in order to have the Patronus moment then I'm alright with it. Meh, for all you know Harry might spontaneous combust, hahaha!

Overall this was definitely an enjoyable read. Kinda wondering what the files say...anyway! Feel free to re-request once I'm open again! :D

Author's Response: Yeah. I've tried that first paragraph a few different ways and I'm still not completely happy with it. Back to the drawing board...

I'm kind of taking the attitude that any number of things within the Ministry could have changed in the 40+ years since the end of Deathly Hallows. Harry's cloak has been passed down to his descendants at Hogwarts, as you'll soon read...

Hermione is having a pretty major mental block. It pains me not to be able to make the root issue more clear, because readers seem to be struggling with her reactions. Suffice it to say that all will be cleared up in a little while.

The files are cracked open in the next chapter...

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by Beeezie 

29th October 2011:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!

First, I want to point out a couple small mechanical issues.
- After Harry disappeared into the stairwell, you said that Bixby emerged four floors below "moments later." It's a tiny thing, but to me, "moments" indicates a very small amount of time, and given that it's four floors and that the Polyjuice Potion takes a little while to fully take effect, I thought a few minutes would have been a better description. Minor, but I thought I'd mention it.
- For the paragraph starting, "Using polyjuice potion to assume Bixby's appearance" - do you need this? It's a bit odd, because it implies that Harry is doing it right then, and hasn't he already used it?
- Maybe I (and my dictionary) are just not familiar with the way you're using the word, but "torquing" didn't make sense to me.

That aside:

I loved that you referenced Dumbledore and Voldemort's duel in the Ministry, as well as Sirius's death - a lot of post-Hogwarts fics take place in the Ministry, but I never see a reference to that, and it was a hugely important day in his life and it makes sense that even years later, he'd sometimes think about it.

While I thought that Harry pretending to be Bixby was a great way to go about getting the information and I liked his "staying in character," I do have to say that the lead-up to his actually going into the office had a few flaws for me. Why was an Auror assigned to Bixby in the first place? The implication seemed to be that it wasn't just a one-time thing, since Ron was taking someone's place, but Bixby isn't a dark wizard, right? I also didn't love the reference to Cattermole - it felt gratuitous. I think you've have done better to make up an OC.

And - while this is more of an aside, it did bother me - I didn't think that the reason you gave for Bixby's eavesdropping was plausible, because I don't think that signings and trades would go through the government office. Typically, at least in the real world, that's mostly between the teams and the player - notifying the government office that seems to be more in charge of regulations and keeping Muggles away than anything else before the press seemed quite strange to me as a concept. Again, it's not that important, but it did stick out to me.

Additionally, he mentions learning to pick locks from Fletcher - why didn't you use Fred and George? We know that they can pick locks, because they do in the second book, and they seem far more likely a source than Fletcher.

I wasn't really a fan of Hermione's reaction to the wheelchair in before this chapter, and I'm even more skeptical of it now. It feels a bit overdone and melodramatic - one of your strengths is that generally, the events feel real and plausible to me (well, once you suspend your disbelief and believe in a wizarding world, that is :P), but this is a rare occasion where it doesn't, for a few reasons.

First, Hermione as we know her is very logical, and tends not to let emotions get in the way of her doing what she needs to do. There were times that she took frustration out on her friends, but even seeing her best friend who'd agreed to go out with her kissing another girl didn't affect her spell casting. She's older and presumably more secure and controlled, so I didn't understand how she could have swung so far into the other direction when she never experienced real panic attacks before.

Furthermore, her saying that she was having difficulty because she had poor balance struck me as peculiar. While Hermione didn't like brooms, it never seemed to me that it was about balance - I'm not sure how much balance has to do with riding a broom in the first place. She jut seemed to be uncomfortable with flying in general - she didn't love Buckbeak and wasn't wild about the thestrals, either. On the ground, we never saw any evidence that I can recall that Hermione was clumsy.

And, finally, not only does the reaction not fit Hermione to me, it doesn't really fit the response I have seen in people who end up with similar life-changing impairments. Obviously everyone is different, but the only people I've seen react with multiple and frequent panic attacks like she's having are people who had an underlying anxiety disorder to begin with. Depression and withdrawal and frustration are quite common, but while the first panic attack seemed plausible, since then I think that you've really deviated from what I, personally, find believable. Maybe you have different experiences than mine, but based on my own... it doesn't feel real.

I did like Scorpius's conversation with his father - I wasn't entirely sure the it was necessary for the plot, but it was a nice touch nonetheless. I would have liked to see a little more emotion on Scorpius's part toward Hermione, though - isn't she his mother-in-law? He seemed a bit removed, considering the situation. However, on the whole, I liked it, and Draco urging them to go into hiding fit perfectly with his experiences in the previous war.

I also really appreciated Harry and Al's attending the Quidditch game (or trying to). You played it beautifully, especially the part where Harry refuses to sit in the Slytherin section and wishes the Gryffindor team the best of luck. Nice job.

I'm quite curious to see what they find in the documents Harry stole, and to see how the plot continues to develop! I think that you've done a lot in this chapter that you can build up later, and I'm interested to see where you take it. :)

Author's Response: Wow. This is easily the longest review I've ever gotten. I'll do my best to reply to it.

I take your point the "moments" Harry spends in the stairwell. The sentence about Harry using polyjuice was a bit of a compromise. My beta reader thought I might lose some readers without making that point explicit. Guess it needs more work. "Torquing" is a reasonably common American euphemism for deliberately making someone upset. Maybe it doesn't translate so well.

Bixby was being followed due to his connection to an illicit gambling ring. If you don't buy the premise of him being able to get inside information from Magical Sports and Games then I guess this part might not make much sense, either. I guess the point is that Bixby is an easy target, because Ron and Harry have something they can hold over his head in a worst case scenario.

Mundungus just made more sense to me than Fred and George. A matter of personal preference, I suppose. Old Dung was seriously shady.

Hermione is having a fairly specific mental issue with the wheelchair. Within the next few chapters, it will become apparent why. The only hint I'll offer is that it has something to do with the little girl's voice she keeps hearing when she's having a panic attack.

I'm sure that Scorpius would be much more compassionate to Hermione. But his dynamic with his father is a little less cozy. Recall the bit about the difference between Draco's relationship with his grandchildren as opposed to his son. Moreover, Scorpius has good reason to believe that there's no love lost between his father and his in-laws.

It's funny, when I was in the proofing stage, I was worried that the scene with Al and Harry was the least believable part of the chapter, especially Harry leaving the message for Al and Oliver. Funny how different people perceive things...

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. You're such a dear!


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Review #22, by CloakAuror9 

29th October 2011:
{ Seeing as this is the latest chapter of your story, and I know I wouldn't be able to keep track of it very much. Please post on my review thread if the next chapter is published, then I'll review it. }

Okay. More Rose and Scorpius being brought to the story. Great improvements. I think this chapter's pace is a bit fast, I don't know why maybe just the order of the events.

I feel so sad for Hermione. And I think Draco made the right decision by inviting Rose to the Manor...Is that a soft bit or what? :)

Overall, 10 out 10. Well described. Flowed easily. Nearly flawless.

YOU ARE AWESOME,
CloakAuror9

Author's Response: First off, I am thrilled to keep re-requesting as long as you'll keep reading and reviewing.

I really need to get Rose and Scorpius together in a scene soon. It's definitely happening in a significant way later in the story, but I'd like to establish their dynamic just a bit before it becomes a major plot element. I'll work on that.

Hermione has a major hump to get over, but it may not be what you think. Stay tuned...

I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by ginerva_molly_weasley 

28th October 2011:
I found this chaptyer buoth entertaining and informative to the plot.
The only thing I was a little confused on was the first scene and how harry had gone from one scene finding out obout the DNA to being at the ministry.
All in all a very good chapter in my opinion

Author's Response: Hmmm. Well, the basic idea is that once Harry figured out that the witch from the attack on Magical Records was somehow tied to Ginny's murder, he decided that he needed to get his hands on the old case files to see what was there. Maybe the transition is too abrupt.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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