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16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Renfair 

27th April 2012:
So, a serious chapter? Serious serious? Or ironically funny serious? Or perhaps just Sirius serious? :)

Teddy is totally a stalker. He should embrace it and not make so many excuses. :)

"I was worried for what Lysander's visit would do to the vase" (case...unless Teddy is just worried if he'll break a knick-knack or something. Haha. Sorry. Typos are fun sometimes!). But Teddy's worries are definitely legitimate. I'm getting all worried now. I really just see this heading in a direction where it all hits the fan, and Teddy's, of course, going to end up taking the fall for it and hurting Rose in the process. Teddy can't even do damage control and tell Sanny to beat it since he should be all happy for different companionship being "Scorpius" and all.

"I blasted some smooth jazz music" --this just makes me laugh for some reason. Yeah, Scorpius, you're SO HARDCORE blasting your SMOOTH JAZZ! The racket these kids listen to nowadays, huh? If Teddy was ever unconsciously hoping Rose would decide to start snogging Scorpius again, then that's definitely not the right way to go about it ;)

"There was a mutual understanding the three of us shared together with that nod, and I moved along." --Well thank goodness Hermione and Percy know how to behave in a criminal investigation. Harry and Ron make me just want to smack them, but that's fitting since they always did stupid, smack-worthy things in the original books as well.

Hahaha...manly hug. I love guys and their manly hugs.

"I know you're temptin Ron and I..." (tempting? Unless Harry admires Hagrid so much he wants to talk like him :D Understandable. Hagrid is the man. I bet he gives a mean manly hug.)

"my mind was blurting the F-bomb all over the place." Oh man, that was SO me yesterday! I don't swear normally, but something happened (not serious, just darn inconvenient) that had me doing that all afternoon. One of those annoying things to arise that kept me from reviewing this week. UGH!!! F!!) But unfortunately for Teddy, you don't really have to be "qualified" to be a witness. Either side can call whoever they want whenever they want. But geez, some warning would have been nice for the poor guy!

Oh boy, this isn't looking good for anyone involved in the case. It's making me wonder, since we're assuming Rose and Scorpius are innocent, is ANYONE actually out there looking for another perpetrator? Or is everybody just paying attention to Quidditch?? Once again, the wizarding world scares the bejesus out of me. :) Nice chapter! It will be interesting to see where things go from here. ~Renny

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Review #2, by Teddylover 

4th March 2012:
Huh. I actually hadn't thought about how vital Teddy could be to all of this. With Peakes and that other guy on the other end, they could start piecing things together. Nicely done once again. You have thought this out.

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Review #3, by AC_rules 

2nd March 2012:
Okay, so this is my last chapter for awhile as you've just inspired me to get on and write the next chapter of Azkaban, but this was another great chapter (I think it's a standard that your chapters have to be great).

I honestly can't even beging to gauge how Rose is going to feel after the whole thing ends and it really feels like a very idea for Rose to be talking to Lysander.

Peakes is annoying me even more than he was doing previously and I really can't wait to find out more about what's going on. HMMM.

I'll be back soon :)

AC

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Review #4, by Lillylover22 

17th January 2012:
The chapters a bit short. 9/10 : )

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Review #5, by Houlestar 

12th January 2012:
Court room drama! I love the serious stuff. Perhaps I've watched too many crime TV shows and not enough drama... But your protrayal of the courtroom is definately in keeping with the genre and what we've seen in canon (not much, admittedly). So it doesn't feel strange or forced or unnatural, which is really good since most of the time when I see court scenes, there's something off about them.

Another good part of this chapter was how Harry and Ron do appear to be concerned a father/uncle. It's not overdone and not underdone. Nice job striking the balance there!

It's really nice to see little aspects of Teddy's parents come out in his personality. I always love it when authors do that, whether it's next-gen or prior gen. It makes the story a lot more fun to read, in my opinion.

No real criticisms.
-Houlestar

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Review #6, by BellatrixLivesOn 

14th November 2011:
Yeah more serious chapter, but awesome of course! I don't think Ted would have been whisked away to the trial immediately, but whatever works. Everything was still great you're clever. I can't wai to see them get together and find out who did it! Update soon! 10/10

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Review #7, by tangledconstellations 

13th November 2011:
Hey,

Wow, so you really have left this on a serious note. It is in this chapter that the gravity of the whole situation really becomes more apparent. When you're whisked off into the world of TedScorpius & Rose you just forget that there is this whole case going on in the background. The way you made me feel like everyone in the chamber was entity was kinda freaky, kinda nervewracking. And Peakes, too! I'm shaking my fist at him right now. He should have briefed Teddy first, gone over what they knew. I feel his pain!

It was really nice to have a more serious chapter, because writing multi-chaptered fics do need to have a balance, which is completely what you have achieved. It was effective too, from the way you started the fic with Teddy's worries about Ly to the court at the end. Teddy makes me wonder, though, whether his concern at Rose and Ly's relationship stretches further than for the case...

I can't wait for more! :)
Laura xxx

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Review #8, by SunSation Gal 07 

11th November 2011:
Oh good grief. The guy just throws him right into the courtroom without any prior warning. Nice boss. But at least Teddy has now proven that the two did not work together and so that is a step in the right direction. And now I am all caught up on this and once again Drue, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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Review #9, by Elysa Strink 

6th November 2011:
I'm just loving this story!

More than anything, it's original, while still being exactly what I would expect of the characters... which is a hard balance!

I noticed a minor typo near the beginning: "I was worried for what Lysander's visit would do to the vase" I think you mean "case"?

I'm starting to get a little confused with the whole Teddy talking to Harry/Ron/etc thing. If he's not actually divulging details of the case to them, shouldn't he be allowed to speak to them? In fact, wouldn't he prefer to find them in a public place and just say hi where everyone can confirm he isn't divulging information he shouldn't? Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't fully follow the reasoning for sneaking over the office and such.

Also, you stated his reason for going to visit was to ask some opinions... but he never did? I know he was rushed off to the courtroom, but it seemed like he should have still asked a few questions here and there about what to do about his spying.

Overall, I love this story though. The voice you have with Teddy is just perfect, and there's still funny moments (the purple hair) even in a serious chapter. It's expertly done!

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Review #10, by apocalypse 

6th November 2011:
Hey, I'm back with another review! The last one on this request, I'm assuming?

Okay so let's get to work. Firstly, I'd like to tell t=you that this chapter definitely had some new progress. You definitely focused on the actual case here which I was glad to see. However, I was slightly uncomfortable with premise. I mean, one minute, Teddy's walking into the Ministry and the other he's in a hearing being the witness of a case he had barely started investigating? I did not understand why he was the witness in the first place. He was investigating the case, yes. But all that he said that at the court, that was all assumed stuff. There should have another separate occasion set for the hearing where Ted should have known about it. And I just realised one thing: if this was the hearing of the murder, shouldn't Rose have been there too?

Moving on. Lysander: no real background for his sudden appearance. He just walked in, more like, was pushed into the story. You should have focused on his character in a bit more detail, especially when you planned on making him spend time with Rose. You should give your readers a clue on why exactly is he, of all people, here to see Rose. It would help your readers to develop their interest in the story further.

In the end, I really liked how Ted ebing so defensive of both Scorpius and Rose. It showed that he was also developing an understanding of Malfoy's character and wanted to protect him just as much as he wanted to keep Rose safe. I'm only afraid for Ted himself. I have a really bad feeling that he might have given the wrong statement.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll find out soon. Really good story! Thanks for requesting! =)

Goodluck and happy writing! =D

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Review #11, by littlemisssnape 

3rd November 2011:
This is really interesting. Please update soon!

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Review #12, by Remus 

2nd November 2011:
I'm back! :)

Alright this chapter was a bit more interesting that the last one. But seriously, cliffhangers could make your readers scream for more.

By the way, how come Teddy didn't try to shoo away Lysander considering that it may harm his case? As Draco Malfoy's son, it would be easy to make people go away. I still love the interaction Teddy has with Harry and the others...although, Hermione is not being kept in the dark, right?

The part that totally made me laugh was with the whole Wizengamot part and Teddy realizes that his purple hair might not help him. The "Wotcher" part made me smile. So like him to take a bit after his mother. James is very spot on to what I think a Weasley/sports jock would be like.

By the way, I think you added an extra "p" in "Yep" in the part that goes ""Yupp," he said, straightening up and adjusting his Cannons shirt. "

Anyway, I suppose that's it! Whenever you update, feel free to re-request! :) STILL wanna know who's the murderer here.

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Review #13, by GodricGryffindor 

26th October 2011:
Wow! This one wasn't as funny but you said it was more serious so I guess that's okay. More funny stuff next chapter.

When will they kiss?! Rose will be so pissed when she finds out. I want to see how this all plays out because all hell will break lose! Nice! Ahahaha.

Update soon!

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Review #14, by Raine 

26th October 2011:
Yeah, really a more serious chapter but it's the first one out of the whole thing, and it's good to have one very once and awhile. Big twist to call him to the stand. You're a genius! Put two and two together and who knows what conclusions we could come to! Eeee so good! Please update soon!

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Review #15, by Crescent Moon  

25th October 2011:
Great chapter!! I loved it XD
I glad we got to see more of the Wotter family, will we see even more in future chapters?
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next with the case, please update as soon as you can.

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Review #16, by CambAngst 

24th October 2011:
To be honest, I'm struggling with the premise here. The notion that Teddy would walk into Peakes' office unexpected and be addressing the Wizengamot 5 minutes later is kind of a stretch. The Wizengamot is the highest court of wizarding Brittian. I feel like there's a certain formality that goes along with that and it's missing from this chapter. Maybe you could set it up a little differently, as though there was already a hearing going on for Scorpius and oh, look, how fortunate that Teddy happened to pop up. Surprise witness!

Aside from that, the story is still coming along. I was wondering whether maybe Lysander was going to play a larger role. Looking forward to your next big plot development. I also noticed a typo where you put "vase" when I think you meant "case".

Author's Response: Ooo, you know, you're so right about that. Thank you for pointing that out. That was something I overlooked and should probably fix. Thanks so much for that input! I'll revise it right away. :)

But I'm so glad to see that you're still enjoying it! YAY! Thank you! :)


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