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34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 

9th December 2014:
Hey Dan!

So Flint seems a bit inept at this point. He seems to be making all the wrong choices - or acting first and thinking about it later. And who is this mystery woman? She seems pretty powerful and my mind is racing through the canon possibilities, but I'm wondering if she is an OC?

As long as they were restoring the rightful order of things, women would have to relearn their place, as well.

I know it wasn't meant to be funny, but I chuckled at this line.

She's really got Flint's number and knows how to push his buttons, huh? Unfortunately for him, I'm pretty sure she is a fair bit cleverer than he is, so I don't think his plans for "eliminating the insufferable harpy" will every see daylight...

Why don't you give me the fifty word version?

Ok. So I actually counted the words and there are indeed 50. I don't know if that makes me the bigger nerd - or you. Maybe Susan is the biggest nerd. Call it a three-way tie?

Ugh. The daily responsibilities of upper management and the balancing act you have to play without giving away too much of your thoughts - even to your most trusted Aurors. I can tell that this is not his favorite part of the job, but he accepts it as part of the deal. I'm actually a bit worried that he didn't leave a good dueler at Malfoy Manor. Especially considering Flint is on his way...

Then we get to see Flint fumbling again - trying to drum up some support. He really comes off as lucky rather than good in most of these scenarios. That can't last forever.

Ron is dedicated - I'll give him that. Although I imagine his presence at work has more to do with feeling like he's getting something accomplished toward catching Hermione's attacker. He's never going to give up until there is justice.

Ugh! Now we're sending trainees to Azkaban? Yikes - I feel like this could go very, very bad. But that's government for you - they usually are reactive rather than proactive and I'm sure it'll come down on Harry if there is a situation at either one of those places.

I don't know which one I'm more worried about - Azkaban or Malfoy Manor - because Flint is also trying to organize a breakout (how DID he manage to get out, anyway?). Hmmm...

I think you used "bevvy" instead of "bevy" in this sentence:

Harry read the invitation with a bevvy of mixed feelings.

And the scene with Hermione! I thought you'd already covered so much in this chapter, but Ugh! You've hit me in the feels right at the end! Haha at Hermione pretending she can't talk to Audrey (I would probably do the same), but it actually speaks to the fact (see what I did there?) that she's feeling a little bit better.

Oh no! She might not be able to walk! You can't do that to my Hermione! Yikes.

Can't wait to find out what happens next - great chapter!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth!

Flint is way, way out of his depth. You know it, I know it... Flint does not know it. He's convinced that his pureblood ancestry and the "worldliness" of having spent time in Azkaban makes him a match for her. He is so, so wrong.

Ha! I love it when readers count. It took a bit of tweaking to get that to come out right. I'll accept the 3-way tie. ;)

Harry tries to balance a lot of competing concerns here. It's not that he doesn't trust Susan, he just feels that Draco has placed a very small confidence in him and he knows he's going to need Draco's help. So he decides to keep some of what he knows to himself. You're right, it's a decision he may come to regret.

Ron keeps coming to work because he really doesn't know what else to do. He's horrible at handling stress and he doesn't have Hermione there to help him. You're right, the case is also very personal for him.

Ah, an important question. You'll find out soon enough how Flint and his friends managed to escape.

Hermione's injuries make up one of the central subplots of the story, one that won't be resolved until nearly the end. Keep an eye on her situation, it's important. ;)

Thanks for catching "bevvy". These chapters have been viewed thousands of times, so I'm always amazed at what's managed to slip through for so long.

Awesome review! I really appreciate it!


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Review #2, by Mariano_Pingitore 

2nd October 2014:
Amazing story so far. You have a great eye for detail and the plot is shaping out quite nicely indeed. I can't tear my eyes off the screen

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you're enjoying it! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

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Review #3, by GingeredTea 

14th June 2014:
I never really thought of how one would write a female Voldemort. Reading this, I'm now not sure how I'm going to like a female Voldemort. She sounds as cruel as him but with control over her temper. It was Voldemort's lack of control and lack of key knowledge that was his downfall; this lady seems to have what he was lacking, and that worries me.

I have a feeling Harry is going to regret this little hesitation: "Harry thought it over. He would have preferred to keep at least one of the better duelists on the security detail, but he wasn’t sure how to suggest it without giving away the true nature of the mission. “That sounds fine,” he replied."

Harry always did feel lost without something to do - something large and dangerous to get near and "kill".


You managed to capture Harry as a no-non-sense boss, and did a brilliant job. :)

I love how you started the chapter with the concept of 'fortunate' and ended it there as well, illustrating so well the perceptions of good and bad from different sides of a war. :)

Brilliant chapter. Can't wait to read the next one. :)

Author's Response: I think you've got a pretty good feel for her already. Where Voldemort was half-mad, she's as cold and calculating as you'll ever find. What she lacks in raw power, she makes up for with meticulous planning and an almost effortless ability to manipulate people.

Harry might well regret that. At this point, he doesn't realize how much danger the Malfoys are actually in.

That's just Harry's mental makeup. I think he gets very uncomfortable if life is too boring for too long.

This chapter was all about fortunes and misfortunes. With one or two exceptions I can think of, I don't name my chapters until after they're written. Usually I can find some common thread running through each one or something that it reminds me of.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by APerkins 

21st October 2013:
Hey, one of the major reasons I review while reading is because it forces me to stop and think about what I am reading. Why i like it, why i dont, what you did well, what you didnt. It makes me a better writer. Or I like to think it does anyway - particularly when I am reviewing a really well written story - as now.
So this is a learning experience for me. As such, I would really appreciate it if you took the next question as an eager student questioning a revered sensei on how they got to be so good, as opposed to an experienced reviewer questioning the wayward author.
Set the right tone?
Ok, so here goes:
Why is Kriffin in the story?
I can think of 2 reasons at the moment, the first is to set the scene - the wizarding world, Harry Potter: Wealthy enough to have a house elf, house elves are servile, etc.
The second is that Kriffin is a huge plot point - like the coordinator behind the scenes; masterminding the return of the death eaters ( I was about to say Bellatrix, cause in my mind, that is the only "she" there could be, but I suppose Umbridge would make a pretty good evil... lol...)
I have issues with the first one, cause usually a scene setting thing has some kind of quirkiness to it. Mrs Figg - batty, the loaned tent - smelled of old cats; goblins creepy and dirty, - you know there is some kind of hook that grabs your attention as the background springs into life.
The plot point (at this time) isnt sitting with me really well. there hasnt been a hint of anything other than depressingly servile house elf.
Which raises the question of Hermione's thoughts on the matter - and what Kriffins connection to the charity Harry has funded for house-elves.

So perhaps there is room to move with this, I just thought it odd that you have now included Kriffin in several chapters, to little purpose that I am aware of. What makes you decide what needs to go into a story? I mean we never write about Harry showering, but we often write about meals.
How do you decide what is meant to go in, what adds to the story and what is meaningless waffle?
(Sensei, please enlighten your student?)

Also, this was meant to be in a previous review, not this one but I was intrigued that you decided to take the time to explain Harry's motives behind not revealing that Malfoy was helping the aurors. It is a tricky thing to explain, and you did it quite well. I think I tend to assume readers are stupid, and had I been writing that section, I would have found it easier to explain the motives by having Draco ask Potter not to tell anyone, and have Draco explain that it would put him at risk, rather than having Harry deduce that, and throwing in the doubt about his own motives in not wanting to paint Draco as a good guy. You have taken quite a complex way of explaining that subtle reasoning behind Potters decision, and I was kinda impressed at the way you did it so succinctly. Even in the review I am having trouble getting my concepts across.

I love that you can set the mood of a scene through dialoogue (have I said that once or twice or a million times before? Probably not, so I ll repeat it again sometime in the future.

Anyway, thats it for me (for now anyway) I think I have produced enough waffle :P
:)

Author's Response: Hi, there! It's a good thing that I read one review ahead because I was starting to get pretty confused by all the questions about Kriffin.

I guess I'll start by saying that I like house elves. One of the rather amazing things that JKR did with her world was that she allowed even the smallest, seemingly weakest inhabitants to make big contributions at critical times. Dobby and Kreacher both had huge impacts on the story arc of the seven books. You'll see Hermys -- and, to a lesser extent, Kriffin -- make appearances at key junctures of the story. Hermys is servile because that's what he wants to be. Like Kreacher, he's proud to be a proper elf and serve a noble house. But that doesn't mean he's unimportant, as you'll see.

As to what makes me decide what to include and what to leave out, it usually comes down to pacing the plot. If I need to slow things down a bit -- to give characters time to think through something or to allow other events to play out in the background, for instance -- you'll see me go deeper into detail. But when the story gets fast-paced and intense, I'll gloss over quite a bit.

I think I know where you're coming from on Harry's attempt to keep Draco's visit a secret. Being the head of the Aurors, Harry has to put his personal likes and dislikes aside and try to keep everyone safe. With somebody like Flint on the loose, Draco could be in a lot of danger if it became known that he was talking to the Aurors. Probably even more important to Harry, Scorpius, Rose and their children could also be in danger if somebody tried to use them to force Draco not to talk. So it's best for all involved if Harry keeps Draco's visit a secret.

I'm glad that you think the dialog is effective at setting the mood in these scenes. There's nothing worse, I think, than having to resort to writing, "the mood in the room was tense" in order to let the reader know that the mood in the room was tense.

No worries, I like waffles! Waffles with butter and maple syrup and a side of bacon... wait, how long until dinner?

Never mind. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by Debra20 

26th August 2013:
Is there any chapter of CoB that doesn't leave me stunned and breathless? I was thinking about leaving this review for tomorrow morning because once again night caught up with me, but after the way this chapter ended, there was no way I was going to do that haha. I needed to express my feelings now, when they're still in full swing.

But taking it in parts, I want to commend you for another great chapter. We discover more about Flint and I am surprised at how well you've defined his personality and the role he has in this mysterious revolutionary movement. He's a nasty piece of work, but there's no doubt that despite his delusions, he's only a pawn in the hands of that cloaked lady. It goes to show that creating characters almost from scratch would not be that hard for you (and yes, this is a shameless hint at the idea of you writing an OF :P)

Speaking of the shrouded lady, I am more and more intrigued about this journal of the Dark Lord's. It seems like the key piece in the plot Flint and co. are planning and I am starting to be afraid of the moment they'll get it. You build up momentum in a very captivating way and I am sure the reveal will be mind-blowing!

Another thing that is keeping me on the edge is Harry's decision to call out some members of the team protecting Malfoy Manor. While I was reading that particular bit I kept thinking "NO!! But, but FLINT! He's gonna attack them...noo, don't pull them out - a!" and I stand by my reaction. I can feel it's not going to be pretty :P

The plot is thickening and I am really eager to find out more. How can I divide myself between CoB and Detox?! Why are you making my life so difficult? :P

Also, I was just thinking that the best testimony that this story is awesome sauce is that the last time I read a chapter of CoB must have happened 2 months ago or so, and when I started this chapter, it didn't take long to remember the story, the feel of the characters, the action, basically everything I had learned in my previous readings. Except the endless line of children. I am useless with family trees and relations. I have no idea who is whose child further than my first cousin haha

Can't wait to read more Dan! But first, I need beeed ;)

Edit: Okai, so I mentioned unexpressed, intense feelings at the start of the review, and I almost clicked the submit review button before addressing them. TELL ME HERMIONE IS GOING TO BE OKAI!!! You cannot imagine my reaction when I first read that. I think my heart stopped for a second from the shock. It was totally unexpected! I mean, everyone was going about how well she is recovering and that she's gonna be okai and then this...Cliffhangers are definitely your thing because now I feel more compelled than ever to continue reading!

Author's Response: Roxi, you're making me blush again! Haven't we talked about this before? Scarlet **totally** clashes with my eyes. OK, just kidding. No need to stop. ;)

I didn't find Flint all that hard to define because he's really just what you see. He's a complete mercenary who's been hardened by decades in Azkaban, but he still thinks of himself as pureblood royalty because that's what he was in "The Old Times" before the war. He's in this for himself. You're right, though. He has underestimated her badly.

The Dark Lord's journal is important to her, but for now the object is simply to get their hands on it. More to come on that front...

Harry is juggling a lot of things at this point. He's worried about how the world will react if they find out that Draco came to see him, so he's playing that piece of information very close to the vest. He can't look like he's **too** concerned about Malfoy Manor, or else people will realize that something is up.

Wow! I am actually quite impressed that you can keep the plot straight in your head for that long. Even I have to go back and re-read sections sometimes in order to respond intelligently to reviews and I wrote the blasted thing! Don't worry so much about the list of children. The ones who become important to the story will be fleshed out a lot more.

Hermione... well, she has a long, difficult road in front of her. All of the main characters do, actually. Her personal trials will be a bit different from Harry or Ron, but no less intense. You'll see...

Whee, responding to reviews is fun! I should really do it more than once a week. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by alicia and anne 

2nd July 2013:
Who is this mystery dark woman? She's very intriguing isn't she? I wonder if Flint and Nott will over turn her?

Speaking of Nott, is there a high chance I shall love him? Who am I kidding, I will always love him! In any shape or form! :P

Awww Harry is so used to calling for Ron he forget that he wasn't there! I love that Susan is now temporary replacement Weasley. This was my favourite part of this chapter haha.

Oh no! Flint's got recruits :-( Although I like that he's jealous of Blaise being away from all of this and possible in a hot country. I would be jealous of him too!

Poor Hermione, I hope that her condition isn't majorly bead and that she'll make a full recovery, maybe not right now but eventually down the line?

I love this story!!! :D

Author's Response: Ah, so you've made it to the dark mystery woman. Very intriguing, if I do say so myself. Flint and Nott might *try*, but I think they'll be hard pressed to get the best of her.

I don't know how you'll feel about Nott at the end of the day. All I'll say at this point is that he'll be around for a long time, almost until the end of the story.

Harry has grown pretty dependent on Ron by this point. When Ron and Hermione aren't around, it's like he's missing part of his brain. Susan makes a great stand-in, though.

Yes, Flint is starting to grow the movement. And he's very jealous of Zabini. Wouldn't you be, if you just got out of prison after 40 years and you found out that he's been gallivanting around the South Pacific, drinking wine and charming the ladies?

Hermione will recover, albeit slowly. And it won't be easy...

I am so pleased that you're enjoying it! Thanks so much for all the love!

-Dan


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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing 

9th May 2013:
Hello again :)

Eugh, Flint really gives me the heebie-jeebies. I never really liked him much in the series though so your choice to use him here is a really good one. I love how he's kind of rubbish as a bad guy too, failing his mission. The second scene with him too, when he tries to be intimidating and in charge and kind of fails. Serves him right for being yucky.

So, I'm going to guess that the lady is the awsome villain you've won the awards for? That's the only problem with reading this story after everyone else I guess. I'm looking forward to getting to know her character though, I love a villain we can hate! She's definitely got a strong start here, taking no prisoners what so ever. I was glad to read that Nott did botch the curse supposed to kill Hermione! I hope that means she does have some chance of recovery.

The respect that all Harry's team show him is so great. You can really see how much they like him as a boss and most of them seem willing to do pretty much anything for him. It was fun to see Harry do some actual research too! I have to say I'd agree with his point of view on it though. As much as I enjoy learning new things, pouring over dusty books doesn't sound appealing.

I love little Hermys! He's so lovely with Harry! Even though his relationship did get better with Kreacher I think the fact Hermys is obviously so loyal to Harry is great to read.

I absolutely loved the line 'Don't make me pull rank on you. Or worse still, tell your mum.' Grown men and they're still intimidated by Molly Weasley, but then, no one messes with Molly Weasley. Perfect bit of humour there.

Oh gosh Dan! Hermione might never walk again? As bad as it sounds I'm more concerned how Rons going to take it than Hermione. I know she will obviously be devastated but she's better at dealing with things than Ron and he's already blaming himself.

You have such a gift of getting a reader so hooked! I almost don't want to stop reading to leave you a review haha! I like to leave my thoughts though even though it's probably a bit late considering how long it's been completed. Can't wait to read more!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: You're spoiling me, Lauren. And I love it! I've got the biggest smile on my face!

Flint isn't really the uber-villain in this story, merely a tool that the real villain uses to help shield her identity. He is pretty creepy, and also not especially bright. Like I said last time, he's in way over his head.

You have now met Lady Tenabra, although I don't think her name comes out for another chapter or two. I don't know how much that knowledge will change things for you. She still has a lot of secrets. ;)

Harry has been Head Auror for nearly 40 years at this point, so he has earned a tremendous amount of respect and loyalty from his colleagues. Just how loyal they are will come in handy later on.

I sort of borrowed Hermys from a post-war fic that I love, Harry Potter and the Winters After the War. It was the first fic I ever read on HPFF. I do love the idea of Harry having a younger, less creepy elf. Having Hermys be related to Kreacher just made the continuity feel better to me.

I imagine Molly Weasley is scary no matter your age. She killed Bellatrix Lestrange, how much of a chance do you stand?

Hermione is very badly injured and the prognosis doesn't look good at this point. You're right to be worried about Ron, by the way. He doesn't deal will with this sort of thing.

I'm very glad that you're enjoying the story. In all seriousness, if you don't want to take the time to leave a review on every chapter that's fine. Just let me know when something particularly catches your attention. Thanks so much!


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Review #8, by LovlyRita 

22nd March 2013:
Hello :)

I have not forgotten your story even though you probably think I have. It will probably take me all year, but I do plan to read and review, it just might not happen regularly :)

Anyway, to the chapter!

First of all, I like the beginning and this mysterious woman. One of the details I liked the best is where Flint starts speaking to her almost in high regard, which slowly resolves into impatience. I thought that really was a fantastic touch, and whoever she is, she doesn't really seem to care about that minor transgression. I do like how she blames everything on Flint.

I'm going to keep talking about Flint now and go to the next section with the guy in Borgin in Bourkes. This was my favorite scene in this chapter. One detail I think that really stuck out was your attention to the political climate. I really like how Flint described the current administration as "corrupt" even though it's most likely opposite from it. Everyone has moved on with the times except for him, but the government was the one that was corrupt. I really admired that small detail.

I also enjoyed his bargaining with the creepy dude, and the realization that he'd be looting. I like how you said that the Dark Lord may not be happy about it, and I really had to sit down and think about that for a second. The first time I read it, I was like, is Voldemort like a classy kind of mass murderer? But then when I really thought about it, you know, I realized that Voldemort had no use for money or riches. He could figure out other ways to get by. He was so consumed with power. So I thought it was really interesting that Flint would take the time to analyze and think that Voldemort wouldn't care for looting. I liked that a lot!

Now, onto Harry's sections. I liked the dialogue exchange between him and Bones. Nothing about your dialogue ever feels forced or unnatural, which is fabulous and really difficult to pull off sometimes. I also admire your usage of British phrases and things, even though I don't always particularly know what you're talking about. I think that was brilliantly done.

And finally, my other favorite details in this chapter was the focus on this ancient spell and the boiling of the blood. I am extremely intrigued with Hermione's lack of movement in her legs. My PT brain of course is working overtime wondering, did the blood boiling cause a spinal artery to burst? Maybe in the lumbar region, which would cause spinal cord injury? Is it something more magical? I absolutely ADORE medical issues, especially those musculoskeletal or neurological in nature so I'm quite intrigued on this one. I am interested in reading on and finding out what you plan to do with that because there aren't many stories that do it well and I'm convinced that yours is going to be one of the few that is!

Anyway, great chapter, I really enjoyed it, helped me take my mind off things :) bravo!

Author's Response: Hi, Ashley! Sorry, it has taken me a shamefully long time to get around to responding to this.

Flint is something of a recidivist by the standard of the time this story is set in. He went to prison shortly after the end of the Second Wizarding War and has only recently managed to escape, so his attitudes are well behind the times, so to speak. He sees the current leadership of the Ministry as "corrupt" simply because it's no longer mired in the pure blood status quo of years past.

The men that he meets at the Ragged Fang -- an ancient wizarding pub that caters to a very rough crowd, in a secret location next door to Bourgin & Burkes -- are definitely outsiders, but they're smart enough not to take Flint's offer at face value. Still, Flint is able to figure out something to say that appeals to them. He's clever, in a blunt sort of way.

I'm really glad that you like the dialog between Harry and Susan, because you're still in the part of the story that was written before I started working with my beta reader. So I always find it a bit rough around the edges. I've tried hard to work in some things that are more British sounding, but mostly just stuff I either find in other fics I like or on Google.

The spells that Hermione was hit with is very old and very dark. You'll learn a lot more about it as the story moves along, but suffice it to say that she has a long, difficult road ahead. The exact nature of her injury doesn't become completely clear for a while, though. I love your ideas!

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark 

13th March 2013:
Tag!

Oooh, I just realised how long it has been since I read the last chapter of this story, and I'm so glad I'm back now. This story is so professionally written and there was a lot of new plot in this chapter...I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

The woman Flint was talking to seems very mysterious and very dangerous...I wonder who she is, what she wants and if she had anything to do with Ginny's death. And what about Hermione's attack? And this supposed journal hidden away in the Malfoy mansion? Hmm, so many questions! I can't wait until they are all answered - you do an amazing job at creating suspense and mystery and keeping me on the edge of my seat. Plus, I get excited every time New Zealand is mentioned...because I'm odd like that.

I really like this friendship between Harry and Susan - mainly because they didn't interact an awful lot in the books, but it is nice to see Harry with another canon character. Your characterization of him is so good, I actually started forgetting I was reading fanfiction in this chapter, and thought I was reading a book written by JK Rowling herself. Clearly, he is a little different from how he was at 17, but he is still clearly Harry.

I really liked the scene at St Mungos. Audrey and Angelina added a little humour to the chapter, and it was also nice to see some more members of the Weasley clan. And Harry and Hermione's conversation was so sweet and perfect! I love how close the two of them are.

Hermione may never walk again? How horrible! I hope what the Healer said proves to be false. And I can't even imagine Ron's reaction if he found out...what he'd do.

Anyway, this was a great chapter, of course.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi, there! Sorry it's taken me ages to respond to this. I got so caught up in the review battle...

The woman Flint is talking to is indeed very dangerous. Flint has no idea just how dangerous. But he'll find out soon, along with everybody else. New Zealand gets another mention or two, but it isn't really part of the story. Sorry. ;)

Over the course of writing this, Susan became one of my favorite supporting characters. She really was one that I could do a lot of fun things with. And as far as your compliment about JKR's writing, I don't think there's any higher praise. That makes my day!

I always imagine Harry and Hermione with this brother-sister sort of relationship, only with less bickering. They've always been there to support one another and I don't see that ever changing.

Nothing is set in stone with Hermione at this point, but suffice it to say that she has a long, difficult recovery ahead of her. And Ron will struggle a lot, as well. He's bad with adversity and change.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this! The pace of the story picks up considerably from here. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

8th January 2013:
Oh no, poor Hermione... But at least she's alive. I hope Harry finds Theo Nott and locks him up (gosh, that sounds so weird to say...). I hope they find the others, too.

Pieces are starting to come together, tiny pieces compared to the whole puzzle, I suspect, but I really want to know what the heck is with this book now. And the woman, I didn't talk about her before, but I really want to know what part she'll play in all of this at the end. She sounds really evil, a fitting bad guy (I see why you got Best Villain already :D).

Onto the next chapter, which I bet will be just as amazing and interesting. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Hermione is not in a good way right now, and she has a long, difficult recovery ahead of her. You'll have to wait to see what happens with Nott. I promise it's interesting. ;)

You definitely have some pieces to work with now, although there is a lot left to be revealed. The mysterious dark lady is a very key part of the story. Keep a close eye on her.

I'm pleased as can be that you're enjoying this. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by shadowycorner 

22nd November 2012:
Was that the character that won you a Dobby? :) I definitely had some villainy vibes from her. The description was superb. She was mysterious and interesting at the same time. Her manner of speaking was very domineering and I think Flint has a reason to be afraid of her. Although his thoughts on how women will be removed once the old order is restored was a nice addition to his mindset. For some reason, I really liked the conversation he had with the smelly men in Knockturn Alley. They definitely had an edge about them, reminded me of the Wee Free Men a little bit :D They also possessed somewhat more...charm (a strange word to use, but oh well) than Flint in my opinion. Flint is your regular annoying minion. I hope the woman ends him, or Astoria could!

Moving on, la la. Lol, it really was 50 words! I counted! :D Susan is slowly growing on me. Will she keep her role as Harry's little helper throughout the story? :) She's very nice to read about so far. And aww, Harry feels needed again. I can totally understand his feelings. He seems so lonely without Ginny it just breaks my heart. And then the St. Mungo's! I hope so so much Hermione gets better. It's impossible to think of such an able witch like this, not being able to walk. But I'm sure she'll overcome this and throw her two cents into this entire investigation or plot. Seeing her so weak, hardly being able to whisper for Harry to protect their family tugged at all the heart strings I have. I loved the friendship you portrayed between them. To me, their friendship is one of the best elements of the book.

Author's Response: She is, indeed! You'll find out a great deal more about her as the story rolls on. Flint has lots of reason to fear her, he just isn't smart enough to do it. He's essentially just an older version of the guy who puts on a Dementor costume in PoA and helps Draco try to frighten Harry off of his broom. He's arrogant, prejudiced, misogynistic... not at all a likeable guy.

The men he tries to recruit are products of the seamy underbelly of wizarding society. Definitely not the type of cultured, wealthy, high-bred individuals that gravitated toward Voldemort. But times have changed and, as Flint realizes, he has to work with what's available.

Ha! Yes, I counted out the 50 words. I thought it added a bit to her character. She has a very sarcastic sense of humor, but also a very intellectual approach to her job. She'll be around in a key supporting role for nearly all of the story.

Harry is happy, in a sort of ironic way, to have so much going on. It's not that he's happy about Hermione being hurt or the clerk in Magical Records being killed. He's happy to have something to occupy his thoughts that takes his mind off of his grief.

Hermione will be a huge help to Harry before the story is all said and done. Just wait for it... ;) And I absolutely love the deep friendship between Harry and Hermione. It's one of my favorite parts of Memory Dust.

I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by Yoshi_Kitten 

21st November 2012:
Its me again, back for more already. 2 Reviews in 1 night? Man Im on a roll, haha! Gotta take advantage of having an internet connection while I can tho... Hey, congrats on winning a Dobby for this, btw! I was so excited when I saw that you won for Best Villain this year. But omg, UGH! Who is this mysterious woman? Her identity; or lack thereof, is driving me CRAZY! I must know MORE, haha! You are really good at writing this Mystery and keeping us all in suspense, arent you? Honestly, you writing style is Crazy good!! =)

& you know, not only are you great at writing all of the action-packed scenes, but even the more lowkey moments in this were really good. Like that part where Harry came home and Hermys was trying to do all that he could to help him get more sleep. & then when Harry was trying to get Ron to go home and get some sleep also. I absolutely LOVED the line where Harry threatened to go to Molly if Ron did not leave and get some rest. Lets just hope that it never has to come down to that, haha... I think that having small moments like that help to make this story just as great as all the big dramatic moments do. It shows just how much thought you've put into all this, and it make me love the story all the more!

I am beginning to loath Flint's character, slowly but surely, and in such a way that I desire to see bad things happen to him, lol. When he think that women should relearn their place as well. Grrr. I mean, how arrogant can you get? That being said, however, I do also feel that that line was a great insight into how his mind works. Actually, the whole beginning of this chapter was great for giving us more details about Flint. I just cant believe that hes already planning to betray his new mistress as soon as she lets all of his friends out of Azkaban. If I were him, I would not be so quick to underestimate her, especially if she was the one who gave them that Exussanguis spell. Then again, I also LIKE the fact that Flint is not 100% loyal to her in the way that the Death Eaters were to Voldemort. I feel like this particular point will make things all the more interesting later on down the road... The recruits he found there at the end really seemed like some shady guys. I am definitely intrigued to know more about them and the role that they have to play in everything.

I thot that the secret entrance to the Ragged Fang pub was SO cool! And, you know, Zabini sure does seem to be getting mentioned more and more often here. I keep waiting for him to make an actual appearance in all of this. And I cant help but wonder whos side he will be on, if and when he does, and if he has changed at all thru the years. Like; is he evil as Flint is now, or has he tried to make things right for himself the way that Draco has? Ack! I just have so many questions now... You see what this story is putting me thru? I am one of those people who just can't stand not knowing things like this, lol! XD

I do like Susan's character tho, or at least I am starting to like her. It made me smile when Harry appointed her as the "Temporary Replacement Weasley." & It is good thing, to see Susan Bones following down her mother's career path, and I feel like she works really well with Harry. She knows how to get things done and remain organized in times of high stress, and I think that's what he needs now while Ron is gone. That being said, I am not quite sure that dividing the Auror's was her best move tho. If only they knew about the conversation between Flint & that Mystery Woman at the beginning of this, they would not be so quick to spread their forces out so thin like that. It does seem odd to me that there are not enough Aurors to cover everything tho. I mean, it always seemed like a popular profession to have, and you would think that people would be lining up to work side-by-side with The Great Harry Potter, lol. Especially after they won the war and had this time if Peace... Idk. Maybe Im just reading too far into things tho. Wouldnt be 1st time Ive done that, lol! ;)

I still feel really bad for Harry. I know hes gone thru a lot, but with all of this newfound craziness going on, at least now he has something to help take his mind off of Ginny for a while. I REALLY liked the statement you made here about Harry needing "a reason to feel needed." Cuz I think you're right; that is exactly what he needs again. & At least now he can stop sitting at home alone all the time, debating about whether he should, erm, take matters into his own hands and, umm, join his parents or not... I still cant believe that he was even remotely considering that at one point. Poor Harry. =/

But OMG, what about Hermione?!? Oh dear, I seriously do hope that the healers can get her back up on her feet again soon. & poor Ron as well. He is probably NOT going to take this news very well at all. I just wonder how long Harry can go on tho; having to keep this big of a secret from his 2 Best Friends like that. It must be eating at him, having to keep something like that hidden. Hopefully they wont be too mad at him tho whenever this does all come out. =/

Wow. What another wonderful chapter you have here Dan, and what an ending too! Now I really cant wait to find out what happens next. This story just keeps on getting better and better with each chapter, and I love the ride you have taken me on with this. Seriously tho; I still cant believe that I never came across this story sooner, lol. Its so suburb!! Now Im not sure when I'll be able to review again, but you will definitely be hearing from me at some point, for sure! And again, I am sorry for going missing basically all of last month. I got your wonderful reviews tho, and I promise I will respond to them as soon as I possible can. Please bear with me, as I am doing the best I can with the resources that I have right now. *sigh* & Happy Thanksgiving, since that is just right around the corner from now, haha! Hope your Holidays are great Dan!! =D

Author's Response: OK, let's see whether I can craft another worthy review response this morning!

First off, thanks so much! Winning a Dobby was incredible. It made me feel like people really appreciated everything that went into writing CoB. The nominations alone where a huge thing for me! So thank you for being part of that! :)

A story can't be all action and bombs dropping and curses flying all over, so I'm really glad you like the slower-paced scenes, too. I always worry about those because, for me, they're the hardest to write. Give me the boom, boom dueling scenes any day! I feel like Molly is still a huge presence in the lives of her entire family, even with the canon characters in their sixties and seventies. She just has that sort of force-of-personality. I'm confident that Ron's still frightened of her at some level.

If you don't like Flint, well, that means I'm doing a good job. You're definitely not meant to like him. He's arrogant and self-serving and he's trying to play both ends against the middle, so to speak. His true loyalties are only to himself. But he's probably met his match and then some where his shadowy benefactor is concerned. Underestimating her could be a fatal mistake. The new recruits are exactly what they sound like. They're among the dregs of wizarding society, definitely not the sort of idealists that Voldemort surrounded himself with.

Ha! Zabini's name has come up once or twice, hasn't it? We'll just have to see whether he amounts to anything more...

Over the course of writing this, Susan became one of my absolute favorite characters. So, yes, you'll be seeing a great deal more of her. I do imagine her having a lot in common with her late, famous aunt. The same sort of moral fiber and conviction to do the right thing, for instance. She's a joy to write and it you stick it out until the chapters in the early 20's, she really gets a chance to shine.

Harry does feel better when he has something to do. That's for certain. It takes his mind off of things.

Hermione is alive, and that's a pretty big deal under the circumstances. She definitely has a long, difficult journey ahead of her. All of the trio do. Harry feels terribly about having to keep secrets from his two best friends, but the healer has a point. Neither of them is prepared to know about this just yet.

Don't sweat the timing. We're all busy. You see how long it took me to respond to these wonderful reviews. ;) As long as we keep gradually moving forward, it's all good. I hope your Thanksgiving was awesome, as well, and thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by Illuminate 

14th November 2012:
Hi! Haha, isn't Beeezie brilliant? She's one of my favourite reviewers of 'Joker,' too.

An eventful chapter! We know that a woman is in charge of the whole operation, and that Flint hopes to overthrow her...does he not know about Legilimency? She seems pretty formidable, and I wonder who she is? Another mystery xD

It's sad to think of the deterioration of Azkaban. I hope nobody else escapes, and what a catastrophe it would be if Flint could arrange a sort of mass breakout. They could have another Wizarding War on their hands, I hope Harry sorts it out before it becomes a distinct possibility. How scary?

I'm sad for Hermione! I hope they'd be able to fix her spine if it turns out that she can't walk again...though, things destroyed by curses are difficult and sometimes impossible to heal, so let's hope Hermione recovers :)

The one thing I noticed was that the mysterious men confronting Flint didn't quite sound right. I presume they were meant to be Cockney (East Londoners), and if you're not English the dialect is very difficult to get right xD Other than that though I very much enjoyed it as usual and great job :)

Author's Response: She is brilliant. I miss her old reviewing thread so much. It seems that we've lost her to FIFA and TDA. :-/

Flint is in way over his head, but he doesn't realize how far yet. Her identity will remain a mystery for a while yet, but all things in good time. She is quite formidable, by the way.

The situation at Azkaban is only part of the problem. More on that coming up very soon.

Hermione has a long, difficult path ahead of her. But we all know how Hermione faces challenges. Expect her to start to bounce back soon.

I PM'ed you about your observations on the accents. If you have any thoughts or insights, I'd love to have them!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by happy_reader 

5th August 2012:
hey it would be so awesome if you could somehow post like a weasley family tree or something so we could remember all of the grandchildren and extended family. i mean, unless that will give away parts of the plot

Author's Response: First off, I just want to say that it would be really arrogant of me to think that you signed up for an Archives account just because of this story. If it's true, however, that makes my month!

I do actually have a family tree that I've used to keep everybody straight as I write. But the rules don't allow me to post it here, since it isn't actually a story. Somewhere in one of my review responses, I listed it all out. If you ask again, I bet I can hunt it down for you! ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by academica 

24th June 2012:
Hi Dan! I'm here with another requested review :)

Hmm, I wonder who this mysterious femme fatale in the opening scene is? My first thought was Bellatrix, but I'm assuming she's dead in this universe, so I wonder who could be taking her place. Pansy, maybe? (Perhaps a bit jealous?) I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I'm still very interested in that curse. I know next to nothing about Latin, but it seems to me that a curse with that name would be more likely to cause a massive hemorrhage (perhaps similar to what could be produced by Snape's signature curse) than to cause the blood to boil. Oh, well, just a thought.

It's very sad to hear that Hermione might have lost function in her legs. I hope the healers can literally "work their magic" and get things turned around before it's too late. I thought you did a good job dealing with how Ron must be feeling, though - he's clearly suffering under the stress, and he appears to be taking charge at work and trying to do what he can to expedite the investigation and help out. It seems like a natural reaction for someone like him. (As a side note, it was sweet to see so many Weasley wives in one room. Wotter stories always seem to revolve around the kids, but it must be nice to marry into the family and find so many other women in the same situation.)

I'm still addicted to the plot, and I liked the shifting style that alternated between the "bad guys" and "good guys". I'll be interested to see how things develop with Hermione, as well as what comes next for the journal and Draco and Astoria.

Great job! I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, again!

I'm keeping the story as close to canon as possible, so the mysterious female villain is definitely not Bellatrix. Her identity is revealed in bits and pieces as the story plays out.

You're the first reviewer to mention the etymology of the blood boiling curse. It's a combination of the Latin words 'exus' (burnt) and 'sanguis' (blood). And it is a genuinely unpleasant bit of magic, as Phineas Nigellus points out.

Hermione and Ron are in for a very tough road as she tries to recover. She's severely injured and he's notoriously bad at dealing with adversity where people he loves are concerned. He is trying to take charge and push the investigation, but he may just push himself too hard. I'm glad you liked seeing Angelina and Audrey. It seemed to me like this would be a time where the family would circle the wagons.

I try to change up the narrative voice a lot and give the reader a lot of different perspectives. I think it's helpful to keep any one character from coming off as too perfect. Each character's flaws are revealed through their inner monologue.

Your reviews are always very helpful! Thanks so much for offering them!


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Review #16, by Jchrissy 

29th May 2012:
Sorry for skipping out on reviewing the last chapter, I just got too excited ;)! Don't worry, I mainly work for myself so my job security shouldn't be in question... ;).

I love all of your plots and sub plots. You have so many unsolved mysteries that I'm sure will come together like puzzle pieces. I am pegging Susan as mystery dark lady directing flint. Part of me thinks that Ginny's death was only slightly related to the current issues, but it could also be the center of the it. Hmm...

Your characterization is continuing to be impeccable, I even feel that you've 'aged' that characters personalities naturally. I LOVE that you didn't make Astoria a sweet perfect loving of all type. She seems spoiled, a bit snobby, but still kind and much more willing to take in change than other pure bloods. I think you have given her a very accurate personality for the woman who marries Draco.

I also like the references to Blaise, and I can't help but hope Marcus goes to him only to find him an absolutely different person.

This story is moving really quickly with a wonderful flow. I'm using all my willpower to click that horrible exit button after I finish this review until I have time to come back to
Your story this evening.

Thank you so much for the great read so far!

Author's Response: OK, as long as you're in no danger of getting fired, I feel better!

Twisting sub-plots are my specialty, so if you like those then I think you're in for a treat. Your theory on the identity of the mysterious dark witch is interesting, but the story is still young. I think perhaps your ideas will change as things move along.

I'm really, really glad that you think the characters have aged believably. It's very tricky to take characters that we last heard from in their late teens and turn them into plausible sexagenarians. Astoria and Draco are two of my favorite characters, precisely because they aren't completely good or evil. They are both complex, with motivations uniquely their own. At the same time, they love one another passionately. It makes them a lot of fun to write.

The nice thing about the story is that it isn't going anywhere. Feel free to take your time, because I'm quite sure that if you read at any sort of pace at all, you're going to run out of chapters before I finish. Although Chapter 33 will hopefully validate tomorrow (fingers crossed).

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by Erised 

16th April 2012:
A very intriguing start to the chapter. Flint made the feminist in me rage when he said that women need to 'learn their place', haha. Typical for him to think that. The personal qualities that you assign your characters are very accurate and encompassing. The mysterious is also a very interesting new character. I wonder what she's going to bring to the story... I definitely don't think she should be underestimated the way that Flint is, though!

It's definitely rather strange that the Minister keeps the dark magic books in his own perosnal library; I'm thinking that whoever he is is someone to watch out for in the future. I also can't wait to see how Fliny managed to escape from Azkaban with the help of the mysterious woman; you've just the right amount of question-asking without leaving the reader completely in the dark. (On a side note, the history student in me appreciate the book title "Blackeft Magick of Wizardf Moft Foul"!)

I thought you brought up a good point in the creepy Ragged Fang pub too - a lot of the people who were unhappy about Potter winning, because there must have been some, would have heard the same old 'spiel' before. This story is turning out to be very thought-provoking. I also loved how Flint called the Ministry 'corrupt'. How ironic!

The scene between Harry and Hermione was very touching. My heart broke for her though when the Healer mentioned the paralysis, life is obviously going to be very difficult for her from now on. I thought you did it very well and it was a very sensitive and emotional scene.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Yes, Flint is a swine. He believes that he is completely in control of the situation, but we have yet to really test that theory. He may find that there's a lot more to his mysterious benefactor than he realized. Stay tuned...

The Minister seems to be involved in some very unseemly business. It's too early to know exactly why, but suffice to say that this could become a pattern. But why? And I'm glad that somebody else enjoyed the old-style f-for-s switcheroo.

There are certainly a fair number of disenfranchised, disillusioned (no pun intended) witches and wizards living on the fringes of society. And it's natural to blame the most visible symbols of the current power structure when you're in such a predicament. Flint has already figured out how to play to that sentiment.

Poor Hermione. She really is in a bad way, but she's a fighter. Her health becomes one of the central sub-plots of the story.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by charlottetrips 

13th April 2012:
Hello! I swear that one day when my life isn’t tied up with my review thread, attempting to write and just my general day-to-day existence, I will just read this story because I want to (because I do, believe me). I feel so far behind only being on Chapter 8 :(

I’m doing my Running Review so I’m going to take the opportunity now to tell you that I’m delighted that your villain is a “she”. I like the idea of a diabolical woman and I’m hoping *crosses fingers* that it’s Bellatrix come back to life! I know that she’s far too old to be a villain but still, maybe she somehow cheated death…somehow…okay, so maybe that’s not entirely plausible but I like the idea. So if the villain isn’t Bellatrix, I’m going to stop reading! I swear!



Eh, alright. I’ll keep reading.

Maybe it’s Pansy? I don’t know if she was really that clever though…

What? I should stop guessing and continuing reading? Hm, that’s a rather smart idea.

“We only have three wand signatures aside from Ministerial Security. The curses were ordinary, aside from the one that hit Hermione. Witness accounts all match Ernie’s. Nothing was actually taken from the restricted vault. Nobody could ID the wizard with the petition, but he almost certainly cursed Hermione. OK, boss?” - You actually had me “word-count” this paragraph after Harry’s comment of her being a smart(blank) :) I can’t believe that I even caught that! The geek in me appreciates this.

Harry was about to crack open [Ancient Secrets of the Dark Wizards of Wales] – this should be italicized. (I honestly think that I’m not going to be finding that many typos in this chapter.)

tucked it into [Horrifying Hexes and Cataclysmic Curses] to mark her place | | grabbed [Ancient Secrets of the Dark Wizards of Wales] in case he was having trouble sleeping later – same deal on titles

I heard that [ferret face] - personally, I fell that this “name” should be capitalized since it’s being used as a proper noun.

[bevvy] of mixed feelings - bevy. Also, Molly must be gettin' on in years.

I like how you brought Flint’s distaste for dealing with the men he’s talking to in The Ragged Fang into account; how he compared them to the Death Eaters of old being Purebloods and of society. It shows how much time has passed between then and where the story is at now. Evil is going to have a bit of a ways to work up in this present society.

I’m skeptical about these scene with the blokes in the pub though. Mainly that they seemed to agree to work with Flint with no actual cash on hand. When one of them mentioned wanting compensation, it was exactly the type of thing I’d expect from these backyard men but then they just quietly let Flint go without actually getting anything off of him? Doesn’t seem likely, if they’re really hardcore cutthroat type of men which you’ve sort of made them out to be.

Again, I admire the level of care and attention you’ve put to keep this as canon as possible while also expanding on it. The amount of detail you’ve put to even just Harry’s day to day life and the way he handles various aspects of his life just makes him so Harry in my mind. I do like that you expand into others’ POVs as well just like JKR did. I feel you do it a little more so that our insight of the situation is better.

And darn you for not revealing who the villain is. :P

xChar

Author's Response: Bellatrix? I won't try to tell you that the idea of resurrecting her in some fashion has never crossed my mind. In fact, in the chapter I'm about to start writing, Draco spends a bit of time reflecting on the things that he learned from his mad aunt. But as far as bringing her back, I just couldn't. It would feel like defiling the single, most incredible line in the seven books: "Not my daughter, you b___!"

I'm glad you picked up on the fifty words. I have to put in some things for my nerdy peeps!

I think you're onto something with the italics for the book names. I started off a little sloppy and got a lot more consistent with that as the story wore on.

And you are spot on with the word bevy. I will fix that up.

Flint dislikes the men he's forced to deal with and the feeling is mutual. They are, however, very far down on their luck. Even though they detest him, they can't ignore the opportunity that he presents. Maybe I should edit this chapter and at least have him pick up their tab, though. I'll give it some thought...

I'm really glad that you find everything to be consistent with canon. That's very important to me. And I love writing from lots of different points of view. At times, I've been worried that it gives away too much of the mystery to let the reader inside of so many different characters' minds, but I think I've been able to maintain it.

A big part of the appeal of my villain is that she is mysterious. So you've going to have to wait a while longer to learn more about her. Sorry. ;-)

Thanks so much for all of your terrific reviews!


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Review #19, by Elenia 

2nd April 2012:
(Gryffie-tag!)

I have millions of things I should be doing right now, but I just couldn't resist. I'm addicted to your story, no doubt about that!

Amazing chapter once again, it's really wonderful how you manage to keep everything so interesting and captivating. Even the little things. Everything just fits in its place and there haven't been one single scene in this whole story that I haven't liked. It's just brilliant.

I'm amazed by the amount of thought you've put into your plot! There just seems to be so much in this story. I'm trying to memorize every little detail as I read on, trying hard not to miss anything that could be important later on.

"Don't make me pull rank on you. Or worse still, tell your mum." - loved that line to bits!

I'm really excited to find out what more you have in store! Especially with this villainess of yours! She seems really interesting and I can't wait to find out more about her! Why do I have a feeling she's somebody we know?

Excellent work! You're such a talented writer and this story is so amazing. It deserves all the credit it has already received and so, so much more!

I'll drop by soon again to read the next one, probably later today (:

~E

Author's Response: Awww, you're making me blush here!

I'm really glad that things are flowing well for you. That has always been one of my biggest concerns in writing this. My writing style basically involves forcing myself to get as much down in print as I can and then going back to edit it down to only the good stuff. I always worry that I've either left too much in and the chapter is going to drag or that I've cut too much out and it won't make sense. Good to know that I hit a good balance with this one.

I mapped the rough outline of the plot out before I really started writing, but as you can imagine, some of the particulars have evolved a bit. The final resolution is still pretty much the same, but the path to get there has changed.

If you like Lady Tenabra, I'm pleased to say that she is a fixture of the story and you'll be hearing much more from her.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by Pixileanin 

31st March 2012:
I am starting to get intrigued by your villainess. She seems quite cunning. This is good. I also like how you have constructed Flint's attitude here. He wants the rewards but he's impatient. That's usually a recipe for trouble. :)

I like how Harry used all resources available to get the identity of the curse. That it was Black's portrait made it a really cool development. It is interesting that Ginny's absence wasn't noticeable to me until Harry thought about her later that evening. It's really good writing there, because I felt a pang right along with him.

I really enjoyed reading the scene where Flint tries to recruit the men in the bar. You put him in what looked like his element and then hit him with a few grisly characters that were so out of his league and made him deal with it. So very entertaining.

It was very touching that the Healer went to Harry to gauge Ron and Hermione's reaction to the possibility that she might not fully recover. I liked that you brought us back around to the sensitive and caring characters. There is such a contrast between the light and dark here.

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Lady Tenabra is very cunning, in addition to being brilliant and utterly ruthless. Much more about her story to come...

Harry will be troubled by his grief over Ginny throughout the story. I try not to dwell on it because this isn't meant to be a teen-angsty type of story, but it does have a major effect on some of the key decisions that Harry makes.

Flint is way out of his league in the bar. He's really not much of a revolutionary and he's far too highbrow for the job. But he's going to try to do what he must because the alternative is to go back to prison.

Hmmnnn... "Touching" wasn't exactly the reaction I was going for, but maybe things will become clearer a few chapters from now. The healer is basically unloading his problem on Harry because he doesn't know what to do. It isn't very professional of him. But I agree about the contrast between light and dark.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by hedwigs_theme 

11th March 2012:
Hi!

This is my last review for now unless you rerequest.

I may have mentioned this before but I really like how you characterised Hermys. His kindness reminds me a bit of Dobby! I also really liked the suspense of the conversation between Harry and the Healer.

Great Job!

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Hermys is like Dobby in many ways, but he also has a very traditional streak. He does not want to be a free elf and like his father Kreacher, he tends to look down on them. He's fiercely loyal to Harry and his family, but he will also nag and cajole Harry when he feels that his master isn't taking proper care of himself. He's a complex little guy.

Thanks for sticking with the story for so long. I'll watch for your review thread to get updated.


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Review #22, by starryskies55 

4th March 2012:
So, yeah, I didn't count Susan's words to check that there was exactly fifty... (good job!)

Flint and his greasy little mates are disgusting. Their attitudes to Muggles and women make me want to seriously use some Mature words to describe them. I really must start remembering that this is fanfiction. It's not real.

Also, I forgot Ginny was dead, and then I remembered and it made me really sad all over again.

I WILL TELL YOUR MOTHER, RON WEASLEY. Harry went there.

Hermione? Not being able to walk? Oh no! Isn't there some sort of magical stuff they can do? Like get leg braces that they can charm to move like legs? SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
This isn't fair.

Other than that, the scene at Mungo's was very touching, and this: 'lace curtain ponce' was just amazing. I had the image of a pale pink lace curtain with a beard being threatened in a dirty pub.

Thank you for that image. 10/10

Author's Response: Hello, again!

Susan is very thorough and very clever. I think of her as a person who can deliver exactly 50 words on demand. I really love the character.

You're not meant to like Flint one bit, so I'm glad that's working well.

Life isn't being at all kind to Hermione at this point in the story. Her recovery is a plot arc that spans most of the story. I feel somewhat badly for doing it to her, but sometimes you have to take your characters to a very low place in order to make their victories more meaningful.

"Lace curtain ponce" was a combination of a line from the Scorsese film The Departed -- which I can't quote here, not even remotely 12+ -- and a bit of British slang I learned online. I'm glad you found it memorable.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by Cassius Alcinder 

30th January 2012:
Back for another chapter!

You've done a really good job of adding another layer to this dark conspiracy each chapter, so that we gradually find out more and more of the pieces, but there is still a lot od mystery and suspense. This female villain, whoever she is, sounded very sinister, and she will no doubt pose a great challenge. Flint and company seem to be dangerous but not very intelligent pawns, which is pretty much exactly how they were for Voldemort as well.

The characterization continues to be excellent, and we can clearly see that Harry still has the desire to protect people that he has always had. I also really enjoyed how much detail you've put into things like the workings of the Auror office and the Ministry beuracracy, it really helps bring the story to life.

This was another great chapter in a really intriguing story.

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Lady Tenabra is very devious and it's not at all clear what she's playing at. She does share Voldemort's tendency to treat her followers like pawns, but I think of her as a much more nuanced villain. She simply doesn't have Voldemort's raw power to fall back on, so she has to make up for it by being more cunning and devious. It makes her a lot of fun to write.

I'm glad the characterizations work for you. I've spent a lot of time hand-wringing over small choices of dialog and action to try to keep them true.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by Gin-gin06 

23rd January 2012:
Ellis Brown??? Mysterious Knife Dude??? Crreepy! Oh the need to know who they are.

She'll never be able to wake again? :o This is not good! I'm going to Avada Nott!!! Sorry for the shortness, but the need to read is greater.

10/10

Gin-gin

Author's Response: Flint is certainly scraping the bottom of the barrel to find more followers. And, yes, Nott deserves your wrath. I suspect he might get his before it's all said and done, though...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by ashling586 

2nd January 2012:
Each chapter just keeps getting better and better. I thought it was funny how Harry used the Mom threat to get Ron to go home and rest. Even though they are 60 years old a threat to tell mom can still get them to do something they don't want to do, hilarious.
Nice touch adding the muggle Crime scene techniques of fingerprints. I have always been a fan of mixing the two worlds together. I wonder though if there is a connection between the dark art books being in the ministers library rather than with the Aurors?
You have a great skill at leaving the reader wanting more so that they just can't help themselves but want to read the next chapter. I have to figure out who the mystery woman is and Whether or not Hermione will get to walk.
Wonderful job on the chapter, the flow was great and it was easy to read. I didn't really notice anything that needed to change.

Author's Response: Hello, again! Sorry it took me a while to respond.

Molly is still a fearsome presence even after all these years, isn't she? I really don't see that ever changing as long as she's alive.

I like to mix some muggle elements into my writing. It makes a lot of sense, I think, especially in a story set so far in the future. It doesn't make sense that the wizarding world wouldn't adopt at least some elements of the modern world.

I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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