21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Renfair 

23rd April 2012:
*bows to Chapter Five* Now we shall spar. I found the chapter description really funny for some reason. No idea why.

You know, I'm starting to think maybe you're lulling us all into a false sense of comfort with the whole "Draco is reformed, and we can all trust him just as much as Harry now" thing. Teddy seems pretty darn convinced of it. I was convinced myself up until now. Maybe it's because Teddy keeps emphasizing how Draco's such a good guy (besides his unfortunate hair gel addiction). It just makes me think (cue dramatic music): IS HE?!?! (*dum dum DUMM!!!*) I guess we'll have to see if I'm being correct in not trusting the little slimeball (I mean, come on, WHAT did he EVER do in the books to garner this cult-like following amongst teenage girls? He was kind of a total sell-out loser besides that one moment where he didn't give Harry away at Malfoy Manor.) or if I'm just reading into things that aren't there.

"in his confinement here in the ministry" (capitilization typo for Ministry) I *think* Chaser should be as well?

Geez, I hope Draco is working on getting Scorpius a lawyer or something with his bajillion Galleons he has in Gringotts. Isn't he at all indignant about his son being held in solitary confinement? Sorry. I watch too many crime shows.

So...is that a real card game? Haha...just curious with a name like that. Cards have that weird paradox of being incredibly boring (as in, you usually don't play them unless there's a power outage or something) but can also pass the time very well. It just sort of makes time blur into itself.

Aw, they got all cute and competitive. At least they didn't end up rolling all over the floor snogging. I really do appreciate that :) Ok, so I guess that's it for tonight!

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Review #2, by Teddylover 

4th March 2012:
Hilarious. I loved the card game. And they're getting to know each other and becoming friendly. I already see the touchiness happening. They are making progress! Great chapter.

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Review #3, by AC_rules 

2nd March 2012:
Oh, relationship development anyone! I can't image how bored they're going to get. Honestly, if I was stuck in solitary confinement with nothing but a pack of cards I don't think it would take me too long untill I started like... eating them to stop myself from playing endless games of solitaire.

I love the little snippets of information about Rose and the competitiveness definately sounds like a trait she'd have inherited from Ron and Hermione.

-reads on-

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Review #4, by Lillylover22 

17th January 2012:
I loved the scene where they are playing the card game. 9/10 :)

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Review #5, by Houlestar 

8th January 2012:
The card game was very well written. It was fun to read and an interesting reprieve from the tension surrounding the case that has been ever present in the past chapters. Very nice touch.

There was a typo when Teddy wanted to say score, you have score". There was no prior " that I could see, and you wouldn't really need it since it's in italics. So far that's to only error I've seen (admittedly, I'm not looking for them).

I'm not as good at writing awesome long reviews as you are, but I hope that you're getting something out of my reviews.

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Review #6, by SunSation Gal 07 

10th November 2011:
haha! this chapter was brilliant! I was grinning almost the entire way through it and outright laughing at the last scene. One little opps I spotted though. 'My only other competitors when I played at the Weasleys and Malfoys were James and Rose.' I'm assuming you mean Potters? :P

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Review #7, by apocalypse 

6th November 2011:
Hey this is apocalypse, back with another review!

Firstly, thank you for taking notice of the no-responding issue. I hadn't wanted to sound pushy or anything but it's just that responses mean a lot to me when I'm commenting so much on your stories and want to know what you think about what I said. So thanks for that.

Over to the chapter then? Well, this one was better than the previous one. Slightly more activity and less of a drag.

Though I had other problems here. I totally did not understand why Teddy said that he could put his trust in Draco, definitely. He was saying this and then in the previous chapter he had noticed that Harry and Ron were still uncomfortable with the new Draco. So why, all of a sudden, is he so certain that he can trust Draco? I mean, there isn't really solid a reason. You could have given a much more solid reason or an explanatory reason behind his willingness to trust Malfoy.

The new Draco is still a bit hard to believe for me. His character has changed almost suddenly but I hope that this change that you have developed in him proves to be successful in the story. =)

Minor grammar mistakes in the chapter, but I don't really concentrate much on mechanical errors so I'll leave it as it is =)

Moving on, the section starting from "I immediately knew what we were going to play.." up till "..I held back my grin and looked at it in confusion." was, according to me, totally unneeded. If I have to be honest, when he said that he was bored, I realised I was too =P But then, maybe that's a good thing? You're so good at conveying your characters' emotions that your readers feel it too. Guess that's another way of looking at it =P

And I liked how Ted refrained from slapping the first few cards. It finally showed that he was getting into Malfoy's character and was working hard to make it look believable. The card game was definitely the highlight of the chapter. Good work on that =)

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Review #8, by GodricGryffindor 

26th October 2011:
Ahahaha! Kung-fu grip! That was so funny. It reminded me of the twins from Transformers! And the cheaters never win quote.

That sounds like a fun card game. Yay for flirting! Merlin, when will they get together! I can't wait for it.

Keep it up.

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Review #9, by Cleopatraa 

22nd October 2011:
Last review!
If I didnít mention it yet but I really liked all your chapter images. They are very pretty.

Weird thing to say but i could totally see myself being attracted to Teddy if he really existed. I mean he isnít perfect or anything ( thank gosh as it would be bad for your story if he was) but he does have something so I can totally see Rose falling for him.

I never heard of the game Egyptian Ratscrew but I do think itís canon, right? But it seemed to me like a brilliant gam if you did made it up anyway and I thought the interaction between the two of them was incredible cute.
-Trick or Treat from Slytherin House

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Review #10, by Raine 

14th October 2011:
Oh, too cute! I loved the card game scene. That was so cute. Loved the flirting! I can't wait to see how they get together and start to like each other. I'm in love with your story if you can't tell. :) 100/100

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Review #11, by MajiKat 

10th October 2011:
"a manly hug mind you,"

BAHAHAHA I love your Teddy! He is so...manly, lol. You do a great job with him!

okay onto the actual review ^_^
I really loved the conversation with Draco - it was really well done and I could feel Teddy's awkwardness. what a strange situation to be put in! I thought you handled Draco well - I always enjoy seeing interpretations on adult Draco and I liked yours.

Loved the card game and the antics between Teddy/Scorpius and Rose. It feels like Rose is thawing out a little - at least, there was more interaction from her in this chapter - she was a little nicer to poor fake!scorpius, which I liked.

I love Teddy's thoughts and observations about her while they are together - again, what a weird situation! I am sure Rose will be less than impressed when she discovers what has gone on, lol!

I don't know what else I can say to be constructive at all - I love your characterisations, love the plot and while not much seemed to happen in this chapter in terms of moving the plot forward, aside from Rose being a little nicer, it was a lovely chapter. I don't mind it when chapters aren't filled with heaps of...stuff, lol.

I shall continue with the next chapter as soon as I can!! This is a great story!

Kate xx

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Review #12, by tangledconstellations 

3rd October 2011:
N'aw! This chapter was adorable! It was so nice to have a break and tone things down and have some fun! Woo-hoo!

Despite all this though, this chapter just builds to the plot all the more, and it makes me wonder when Teddy's gonna slip up! I really hope he doesn't, to be honest, because everything is too good for it to be ruined now! I love the way your use of language here was so carefree and fun, and just so open and frank. It completely mirrored the scene and the ongoings - so fresh! I've probably said before, but I love the way that it is Teddy that's narrating, because he is the cutest and loveliest in the universe!

It's really crazy that there's so much going on aside from the house Teddy's staying in, and I feel for Rose, how she has to stay indoors. Pretty sneaky of Ted to escape, though ;) The political situation is really interesting, and also the logistics behind the fun. I feel for Draco, too, because to be in the dark is just the worst thing, especially when it's his own son! At this point in time though we (and Teddy) know so little, so the anticipation is really mounting, and will reach breaking point soon! I'm just not sure to trust Rose or not just yet, as much as I like her!

I couldn't spot any errors, and I love the way these chapters consistently flow from one to the next. It makes reading them really enjoyable, and I can imagine if I was to pick this up from chapter one it'd be such a hard to let go of story! We want more!!

:D Laura x

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Review #13, by Mihali1432 

1st October 2011:
Kung-Fu Grip! Kung-Fu Grip! XD That was hilarious. Amazing.

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Review #14, by Remus/Perelandra 

1st October 2011:
Hey! Finally got to read your fic! Sorry it has taken a while.

This was a cute chapter. Storyline wise...plot didn't move but its alright. You've got to pace otherwise everything will feel rushed.

So...question...in the end, is she going to fall for Teddy thinking she fell for Malfoy? If so...that's sad! Hahaha! Unless you make it work. Or maybe there wont be romance...so yeah. I'll definitely be looking forward to see how things end up.

One small problem I found. I think its the 6th paragraph which reads "
I followed him through the main atrium..." That entire paragraph reads kinda awkward in my opinion. The second and third sentence there could be combined together, for example.

Other than that, Teddy's voice is a lot stronger. And I'm glad that Rose is opening up to him a little bit. However, I'm wary of her though...I'm afraid she's not who she says she is. hahaha!

Anyway! keep writing! :D

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Review #15, by CambAngst 

30th September 2011:

I really like this chapter. The interplay between Teddy and Draco felt in character. Draco is somewhat reformed, but not completely.

The card game was a very nice touch.

Your writing was much stronger in this chapter. The characters' voices were clear and distinct. Your sentences were tight and expressive, not overly wordy.

Great job!

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Review #16, by BellatrixLivesOn 

27th September 2011:
Lol! Funny chapter. I loved how carefree it was. Egyptian Rat Screw! Best! Game! Ever! I thought it was so funny that I came across that here. I didn't know many people had heard of it.

And oh! I sense flirting! That was so cute. Super, super cute. Tehe Rose and Teddy will make such a cute couple. I can't wait to see them together! Gosh but then theres that little problem of her thinking he's Scorpius. I want to know how you will go about this! Update really soon! I'm in love here!

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Review #17, by Amber 

26th September 2011:
Egyptian Ratscrew is the best card game in the history of the world. 10 points to gryffindor!

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Review #18, by imaginary lines 

25th September 2011:
imaginary lines here with your requested review!

i enjoyed it! at first, i wasn't so sure i was going to be a fan. i mean, i never really thought of rose and teddy being a couple, especially under these circumstances, but i gave it a chance. and i'm glad.

teddy is brutally sarcastic, funny and confident in himself. i could totally see myself being attracted to him if he really existed haha. but i can relate to him trying to blindly be scorpius and wondering if he is succeeding.

i do like how you portrayed draco as a loving and concerning father. i hope that neither rose nor scorpius committed the crime, but for some reason, i feel like one of them did the crime. in which case, i will be very sad.

there were a couple of grammatical errors. you switched out of first person to third person for a sentence or two, and you used 'then' instead of 'than' a couple of times, but i do that all the time. nothing too major.

this is a very original plot, and i suggest you keep writing! i know i'll continue reading and reviewing (:

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Review #19, by Rosie 

24th September 2011:
Love your Teddy! He's amazing!

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Review #20, by Crescent Moon  

24th September 2011:
Great chapter.
I can't wait to see what Rose has to say when she opens up more.
Please update as soon as you can.

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Review #21, by looly 

23rd September 2011:
Ohh, amazing chapter . I love tedy

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