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Reading Reviews for Off the Rails, Chapter 2: two
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by onestop_hpfan18 

29th July 2016:
That 'look after yourself' comment from Harry to his son was perfect. I felt the tension it left. Shows you that James's parents are well aware of the way he's been going about his life. It was the perfect parent-child scene. Anyway, great chapter overall and I'm looking forward to reading more of this.

Author's Response: It's weird writing parent-Harry, certainly at this stage of the story when there WERE tensions between them. A Harry who gets on with his children is SO delightful to write. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #2, by The Riddle House 

16th September 2015:
I love the way you write the Potter-Weasley clan. This really seems like the next generation of the family we came to know and love in the series. And even though Brie is an OC I already love her and am rooting for her and Freddie! Your language use is very clean, and your style is entertaining and well-written. James is somehow both annoying and charming, but I have a feeling he's going to grow up a lot over the course of this fic. Awesome start, and I can't wait to read more. :)

Author's Response: I really do adore writing the Weasleys, so I'm glad you like them in Rails! :) Brigid is one of my absolute favourites as well. Annoying but charming definitely sums up James! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #3, by Aleine 

10th June 2015:
I got really confused about the Murph thing. And I don't know if the "close shave" is going to be explained or if I missed it...

Oh well. I'll know soon enough

Author's Response: All will be revealed in due course... as you now know! :)

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Review #4, by TidalDragon 

5th March 2015:
Hello again! It's been since last year's Golden Paws, but I'm back as host of the book club to read and review the rest of this fascinating story!

This chapter was one of the first I've read with so much dialogue that wasn't completely overwhelming. Usually I find myself rather put off by such a skewed balance, but you handled the tags and characters so well within it that everything stayed differentiable in terms of voice and structure - quite a treat.

James continues to develop as the consummate professional athlete - living a fast life, trying to stay connected with family, but ultimately encountering obstacles between his career and his lifestyle. It's telling in this regard that Lily has more obvious affection for Bridget than she does James - and that she knows he wouldn't have bought the present himself. Something tells me even if it HADN'T been a dress, she'd have had the same thought.

I'm enjoying the story still so far and I'm looking forward to continuing on throughout this month!

Author's Response: So I'm finally here to reply to these lovely reviews! Sorry for the delay. :(

I really do struggle with getting my head around the beginning of a fic, what with trying to set the scene and introduce people without it all seeming CLUTTERED. It's really nice to know that this chapter pulls that off, so thanks for that. :)

I think Lily sees Brigid as the older sister she doesn't have - especially when she's always on the scene and steering James so clearly. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #5, by marauderfan 

21st May 2014:
I'm back and omg I love your Audrey. I love that you made her a kind of gossipy, sarcastic, and funny person. Totally opposite of Percy but hey they say opposites attract. Percy totally needs someone like her anyway who would make him lighten up a little. And kudos to her for putting up with all his "I have a meeting with the Minister" all the time.

Also this family cracks me up - there is no such thing as privacy with them as they're all up in each other's personal business! Hahaha.

Freddie likes Brigid too! I wonder how long it's going to take them to get together. Prediction: forever. Brigid is an avoider and Freddie is oblivious and someone will have to lock them in a room together or something. My bet is on James doing this because he'll get annoyed at the both of them eventually. Anyway that's probably ages away.

Loved the scene with James, Maddie, and Lily! Maddie is cool. I hope she continues to appear a lot in the story because her interactions with James are hilarious, as are Lily's reactions :D

Great chapter! I'll be back (read that in a non-Terminator voice.)

Author's Response: One of my biggest pet peeves in Next Gen is people writing an annoying Audrey because they don't like Percy. I actually think he mellowed after DH, and he would be better suited to someone who would balance out his flaws and lighten him up. Likewise, I like to think he could keep her grounded. I'm often tempted to write a Percy/Audrey one shot, actually...

Oh, the Freddie/Brigid saga. You're correct; they do take a while to come round. I'll say no more on that matter. :)

Maddie appears a fair bit more, don't worry - and she absolutely steals every scene she's in. Thanks for the reviews! :)


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Review #6, by slytherinchica08 

14th March 2014:
Another wonderful chapter! I think in the beginning I was a bit confused as I thought we were still at the wedding but I was quickly able to figure out that it was now the next day. Poor Brie! I can't imagine trying to wake up one of your best male friends and learn that pulling the blanket off was maybe not the best route to go. I enjoyed the look into other characters like Audrey and finding out small things about them like the fact that she had been to everyone of James games. That is a hard thing to do even when the person is a star player real life always has a way of interrupting plans. Really I can't think of anything else to say because it was absolutely wonderful and really well done! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Poor Brigid indeed. She really should ought to know James' sleeping habits after so many years of friendship, shouldn't she? I deliberately made Audrey likeable because it annoys me when fanfiction always portrays her to be the world's biggest 12+ just because she's married to Percy - who incidentally gets a bad deal out of fanfic himself if you ask me. BUT I DIGRESS. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #7, by LavenderBlue 

15th February 2014:
Of course James sleeps in the nude. Gosh, Brigid, why wouldn't you think so? I love that Ginny takes after her mom. She's a total Mrs. Weasley 2.0, and she rocks it. Ahhh, and we get to meet Uncle Percy, the pompous little goon. He makes just a bad of an uncle as a brother, it would seem. But Audrey is lovely, and it's totally true to life how that sometimes works out: there's no accounting for taste when it comes to marriage.

Brie is breaking my heart. D: Freddie, I can't even with you right now. An Angeline? Just not okay, for so many reasons. Also, can I just say how much I love the Quidditch-centric nature of the story so far? It's clear that you've done your research and put a ton of thought into James' profession and current game, and I love that. It just adds another layer of realism to an already believable narrative.

James is so stupidly protective of Lily. But I do like his and Lily's deal: she totally has the right to flirt with his mates if he does with hers. Double-standard, James. Sheesh. Also, what is this weird tension between Jamsies and Father? -strokes chin- INTRIGUED. Reading on!

Author's Response: I love Ginny in this fic. She's such a cool mum. And she feeds her children, so definitely her mother's daughter in that respect. Audrey is lovely because I couldn't bring myself to give Percy a horrible wife. I don't like when people do that in fanfic. There's nothing wrong with Percy, he's just a bit pompous at times! Audrey is a moderating influence who he sorely needs in his life.

It's a good thing you like the Quidditch, because ... well, there's a lot of it to come. Seriously. SO MUCH. I'm in the throes of the World Cup right now, I'm almost SICK of writing Quidditch.

Almost.

Ah yes, the Daddy issues. Mine is an evil laugh. Read on, and you shall find the answers!

In about thirty chapters' time. ;)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by feathers101 

5th September 2012:
I loved that chapter so much! James is so funny, I adore him!

Author's Response: I absolutely adore James. I know, I'm biased, but I'm allowed. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #9, by Slide 

18th May 2012:
Laughs for Freddie hiding in the bag. And Brigid continues to organise James' life. He may have to learn how to do that himself at some point. At least Lily doesn't hold his lack of involvement in her present against him, I was afraid not picking his own sister's birthday present was a step too far. At least it backfired!

I want to hug Brigid. A good job handling all the different faces in this chapter, too, it could have easily got sprawling and confusing, but didn't! God, marrying into the Weasley clan must be a daunting prospect, you'd need a chart to keep track of people. I have a soft spot for Percy so I'm glad Audrey is awesome!

Aand interesting, what's up between our intrepid hero and his father...

Author's Response: Lily's used to James being hapless at managing his life. She has to do a fair bit of looking after him herself. I think she would have been surprised if he HAD bought the present himself. But yes, James has definitely got some more growing up and maturing to do.

Already, I'm hating the scenes which involve more than a few Weasleys. It's difficult to judge just how many people can be involved without totally confusing the dialogue and losing track of who's where, so I'm glad it worked out okay :) And I HATE people who make Audrey really horrible and irritating just because she's Percy's wife, so yeah, Audrey is cool. And the Harry/James dynamic is definitely one of the bigger aspects of the story :)


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Review #10, by ForTheLoveOfWords 

29th November 2011:
The part about Brigid pulling the covers off of James was hilarious. James should tell Fred about it, it would make him jealous. And was the Lily-Ryan thing hinting at something else, since even Ginny reacted like that? Like did something happen between them? ...I realize you probably can't answer that. And I completely agree about the Angeline thing...so weird. Oh and I forgot to rate the first chapter so disregard the 5/10!

Author's Response: I AM SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THAT AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER. Nobody else has commented on it yet! Haha. Nothing to do with Ryan, actually; it WAS something Lily said though. More hints shall be dropped as I go on, until the thing in question is revealed in maybe 5 chapters' time? But they are really subtle. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by madddyxxx 

21st September 2011:
Oohhh update soon! I really like it! x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #12, by wolverine83 

20th September 2011:
I love this story so far and cannot wait to read more. I hope you will introduce James's love interest soon in this story if you haven't possibly introduced her yet. I hope you can update soon.

Author's Response: Miss love interest enters the stage in chapter four. And doesn't really leave after that. Glad you're enjoying, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #13, by NextGenna14 

20th September 2011:
I really like this story so far keep it up! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #14, by prongslittleflower 

20th September 2011:
I really enjoyed the family interactions in this chapter. Very believable and really funny. Can't wait to read more! And to find out who James' love interest will be!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like how I portray the characters; it's always good to know you're doing a job well :) James's love interest is coming up, never fear! Her first appearance is in chapter 4, which will be up soon. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by christine 

20th September 2011:
Hey:)
Haha, this is a really interesting story. I can't wait to read the rest !

Author's Response: Glad you enjoy, thanks for reviewing! :)

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